Moises Caicedo has dropped subtle thoughts on Liverpool interest. Kind of. But not really. And Casemiro’s paying his £60m fee back already.
What, dear reader, do you think was the second-biggest story on the morning after deadline day and Manchester United beating Leicester?
The Sun website has the answer:
‘Chelsea star Kepa gets engaged to Miss Universe winner Andrea Martinez’
Sounds about right.
Wag the dog
There is an incredible amount of thirst on The Sun website actually. The following headlines are all ludicrously prominent on their home page:
‘Reguilon’s stunning Wag Marta dazzles at Atletico loan unveiling ceremony’
Good for his stunning wife and girlfriend. Very happy for them both.
‘Georgina Rodriguez wows crowds at Venice Film Festival in leggy display as Ronaldo’s girlfriend wears THREE outfits’
THREE?! In a ‘leggy display’?! Whatever next?
‘World Cup final referee married to sexy OnlyFans model who leaves followers stunned with naked snaps’
The journalism degree was worth it then.
‘Meet Man Utd transfer signing Antony’s Wag Rosilene Silva, 22, who is the forward’s childhood sweetheart baby mama’
‘Transfer signing’ is excellent. Get that SEO crammed in there. ‘Childhood sweetheart baby mama,’ however, is just four random words grouped together to describe both Antony’s wife and girlfriend.
‘Oleksandr Zinchenko’s glamorous wife stuns in Arsenal shirt and red skirt as she gets behind husband’s new team’
Well alright then.
Their traffic is going to take an almighty hit when readers discover… other websites.
Screw it, let’s get all the Sun website stuff out of the way nice and early. Such as…
‘Everton outcast Andre Gomes joins Lille on loan transfer after failing to play a single minute for Lampard this season’
It’s September 2. That’s not as noteworthy as you want it to be.
‘FULHAM have signed former Chelsea and Arsenal star Willian alongside ex-Tottenham ace Carlos Vinicius’ – The Sun website.
One goal in nine Premier League games. Ex-Tottenham ace.
Denis the menace
John Cross of the Daily Mirror remains unconvinced by Chelsea’s transfer window despite a record spend:
‘Yet despite all of the deals, they have not solved the midfield issue with N’Golo Kante struggling with injuries and only a year left on his deal. They do not have the legs in that department without him.’
The Denis Zakaria deal was late but it seems a bit harsh to just ignore it altogether.
Moises and the red sea
‘Brighton star Moises Caicedo makes Liverpool feelings subtly known after failed transfer’ is the Daily Mirror website update all Reds fans would have been happy to wake up to. Let’s take a look.
‘Moises Caicedo has seemingly let people know how he feels after missing out on a last-minute move to Liverpool.’
Stop teasing us. What was this ‘subtle’ hint?
‘Caicedo has followed Virgil van Dijk, Naby Keita, Mohamed Salah, Roberto Firmino and Thiago, among others, though it is unclear how many of those were followed after Liverpool links became clear.’
Oh. That is ‘subtle’. So ‘subtle’ it is entirely uncertain whether it’s actually a thing.
‘Interestingly, the midfielder also follows Arthur, and fan accounts on social media mentioned that he liked Arthur’s Juventus farewell video.’
‘It is worth noting that the former Independiente del Valle man also still follows a number of his Brighton teammates, as well as players from Manchester United and Real Madrid.’
It’s starting to feel less like Moises Caicedo was making his Liverpool feelings subtly known, and more as though he is a footballer who follows some footballers on Instagram. Which obviously tells us everything we need to know about his Liverpool feelings.
Also on the Daily Mirror website:
‘Casemiro’s intelligent gesture to Diogo Dalot shows what he brings to Man Utd squad’
Now this should be good.
‘Despite having been initially been left out of the starting XI, Casemiro already appears to be in sync with Ten Hag’s way of working at the club. During the first-half of the showdown in the East Midlands, he was sent out for a warm-up alongside Cristiano Ronaldo and compatriot Fred.
‘Just as he was watching proceedings, the ball went out of play and handed United a throw-in in their own half. Diogo Dalot picked the ball up and was preparing to restart play but before he could, Casemiro twice put his arm flat against his body with his palm out at a 90 degree angle.
‘Whilst the gesture could mean a lot, one would suspect it was either the Brazilian’s way of suggesting to his teammate to either slow the game down and halt Leicester’s momentum, or indeed to keep the ball on the floor from the resultant throw.’
You would hope Manchester United have spent £60m on more than a hand gesture which ‘appears to be in sync’ with the manager’s philosophy.
Pierre into the unknown
‘Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang IGNORES the curse of the No 9 shirt at Chelsea – with the £10m deadline-day signing picking the number which lay heavy on Romelu Lukaku, Alvaro Morata and Fernando Torres’ – MailOnline.
‘Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang is an adult man who doesn’t believe a shirt number is cursed’ – Mediawatch
The following words are all in block capitals on MailOnline homepage headlines:
Smash, million, disaster, fail, billion, and, quite, ignores, finally, fourth, rejected, twenty first, twenty two, off, blocked, all, another, not, immediately, stay, twentieth, fifth, furious.
It’s a hell of a lot of shouting.
It is hardly a surprise to read how Scott Parker did not deserve the Bournemouth sack. It is, however, incredibly great fun to read Martin Samuel’s stance in the Daily Mail.
‘In the end, it does not come down to results, or relegation, or performances, or any of the many factors we think get a manager sacked. It would not matter if Scott Parker had lost the dressing room, or could not even find it.’
Reckon it might come down to results a little bit. And Bournemouth’s last three in the Premier League under Parker equalled an aggregate 16-0 defeat.
‘Bournemouth had three points after four matches. So how many points should they have had? None, really. They have visited Manchester City and Liverpool, and played current league leaders Arsenal at home. So no expected points there.
‘Additionally, they have faced Aston Villa, who have again invested in remaining a Premier League club. Were Villa expected to beat Bournemouth on the first day of the season? Yes. The result: Bournemouth 2 Aston Villa 0. The only fixture that Bournemouth were perhaps fancied to win was a Carabao Cup tie, away at Norwich. And, after a penalty shootout, they did. So Parker is par at least, maybe a little better, and still sacked.’
Aston Villa were certainly expected to beat Bournemouth at the time. But in the hindsight of the opening five games, Steven Gerrard’s side are 19th and this precisely the sort of team the Cherries would hope to win against.
‘Club owners now declare they are prioritising financial stability when in reality they are no longer as keen to invest.’
Elsewhere on the MailOnline:
”A kid in a sweet-shop’, Champions League desperation and record revenues: How the Premier League’s fat-cat owners smashed over £2BILLION in summer transfer spending… and it could rise higher!’
Back to Samuel and his defence of Parker:
‘Amazingly, he is even attracting criticism for sending out negative messages, as if chuckle-headed boosterism is ever the answer to a genuine crisis. Parker stands accused of being defeatist having failed to embrace the sunlit uplands of a 0-16 aggregate across three league games to protect his owner’s fragile ego.’
Sorry, Martin, but why are you acting as if 4-0, 3-0 and 9-0 defeats just happened to Parker? Sure, Bournemouth underinvested but the game immediately after his sacking – admittedly against a goal-shy Wolves – ended 0-0. It feels like the coach has some responsibility here.
‘And, yes, lower league managers can talk up the possibility of an FA Cup giantkilling because where’s the harm? Yet Bournemouth are facing 38 games – not an escapist 90 minutes – of morale-sapping reality, and were coming off a 9-0 defeat at Liverpool.’
Yes. Managed by Parker. He sent them out to press haphazardly against Liverpool at Anfield. Demin can take some blame for the recruitment but Parker played a bad hand absolutely awfully.
‘Yet that was still not what got Parker fired. What probably did it was his extended and thoughtful ‘Ummmm…’ before answering a question about whether he would get what he needed before the transfer window closed.
‘It went out on television. Jeff Stelling remarked on it. Parker didn’t want to be negative, but couldn’t lie. And that embarrasses Demin and his technical director Richard Hughes, even more than those nine goals.’
It does feel like those nine goals probably embarrassed everyone at Bournemouth more than Parker delaying his answer over a post-match question.
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