Yahoo Sport 
Make America Rhyme Again
For a few hours this week, the Internet was captivated by the thought that Donald Trump, whose triumphs are famously chronicled in books (his own), in art, on television and on Twitter, was about to conquer the last bastion of celebrity: poetry.
In 10 stanzas that critics almost universally described as turgid beyond even the standards of the Congressional Record, a poem titled “Pibroch of the Domhnall” honored Trump’s maternal Scottish ancestry, paid tribute to “the flower of Europe, Melania the fair” and celebrated how “With purpose and strength he came down from his tower/
To snatch from a tyrant his ill-gotten power.”
Based apparently on a misunderstanding — that it had been commissioned by the transition team and would be read at the Inauguration — the poem, appearing on a little-known website and attributed to the hitherto unsung Joseph Charles MacKenzie, went viral for a few hours until fact-checkers determined that it did not appear on the official inaugural program.
Nor did any other poem. In fact, the tradition of commissioning Inaugural poems is a fairly recent one, dating from Robert Frost’s reading at the 1961 swearing-in of John F. Kennedy, and has been observed only sporadically since.
But for those who feel that an event of such importance deserves a poetic tribute, Yahoo News presents an original work inspired by the occasion:
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All hail the mighty Donald, presidential billionaire!
His glory lights the heavens like a giant solar flare!
More honest than Abe Lincoln, and smarter than Voltaire,
He is the biggest TV star that ever went on air.
More suave by far than JFK, more grizzly than a bear,
More eloquent than Churchill, and also has more hair.
His voice is like Bing Crosby’s, and he golfs like Tiger Woods,
And like Mahatma Gandhi, he eschews all worldly goods.
More Jewish than a rabbi and more Catholic than the Pope,
He reads the Bible daily, and he lives by faith and hope.
His face is turned to Heaven, like a giant cantaloupe.
Ask not what your country can do for you, you losers and you snobs.
God has created Donald Trump so he can make more jobs.
The only thing we have to fear is Mexico — and Trump
Will build a wall with his bare hands no Mexican can jump.
And so with malice toward none, except the Times and Post
And all the lying media that one day will be toast
And all the crooked pollsters that got themselves blindsided,
When Donald Trump won so big-league, steamrollered and landslided,
With hands outstretched in friendship, uniting this great nation,
We ask you to contribute to the Donald Trump Foundation.
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