Patrik Schick's lob goal over David Marshall – a Scotland tragedy in five acts

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Oh, Scotland.

It has been far too long without an appearance at a major tournament, a generation of near misses.

They could have done with another near miss in their opening game against the Czech Republic at Hampden Park, which ran their familiar gamut of hope, disappointment and ultimately embarrassment.

At 1-0 down with 51 minutes played they were full of energy in their search for an equaliser. Che Adams' introduction had lifted the team, his side had possession and plenty of men forward.

Centre-back Jack Hendry brings the ball forward and sizes up a shot from 40 yards.

What would happen?

1. Scotland look like they might score!

No one is closing down Hendry.

There's no shame in having a go is there? Unless you're a centre-back. Don't think about that, just hit it:

Shot blocked. Barring some terrible unforeseeable circumstance, this shouldn't be a problem.

2. A bad rebound

There has been a terrible unforeseeable circumstance.

The ball hits the Czech defender then bounces kindly for his team, setting up a perfect chance to counter-attack.

But still, this is only an issue if the goalkeeper thinks he's playing central midfield.

Oh.

3. The shot of his life

Patrik Schick, all hepped up on scoring a goal already and realising he had an awful lot of goal to aim at, buys a ticket to the raffle from 50 yards out.

The execution is exquisite, he can never have hit a better shot. The view from behind him demonstrates the absurd curve on his effort:

David Marshall didn't even try to save it, just ran back despairingly towards the goal as it passed over his head like a difficult joke.

No desperate dive a la Alphonse Areola for Edinson Cavani's goal at the end of last season.

And yet...

4. Marshall lives here now

Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh NO!

5. Won't somebody think of the home fans?

Of course Hampden would have to be the venue for this upsetting moment. Of course Schick ran straight over to some crestfallen Scotland fans to celebrate. Of course wearing a kilt and sporran somehow makes it all look 100 per cent more tragic:

Have these people not suffered enough?

How cruel on them and how cruel on David Marshall, the hero of Scotland's qualification, whose penalty save clinched their place at the tournament.

His team was on the wrong end of a shot with an xG of 0.01. That's a one in a hundred chance if you've either doggedly avoided learning what xG means, or don't understand decimals.

Worse still though, Marshall has already become a meme.

At least there is a chance to atone against England in four days time. Lyndon Dykes recreating the Schick goal over Jordan Pickford would erase the nation's memories as effectively as a Men In Black prop.

Dare to dream.