With President Donald Trump set to welcome the Patriots to the White House on Wednesday, anything could happen, which creates the perfect opportunity for prop bets.
Everyone loves prop bets, especially stupid ones. They're especially popular during Super Bowl week —over/under length of National Anthem (it hit the under this year), will there be a flea-flicker (no), and everyone's favorite, what color liquid will be poured on the winning coach (none, meaning no kids lost their college funds because their dads bet on “lime”).
Props are a great way to waste time and potentially lose a lot of money. While we can't take your money, we can waste your time.
Here are some made-up prop bets for New England's White House visit thatdefinitely shouldexist on one of those shady, off-shore gambling websites. (Don't worry about what betting "No"would pay off. That's not part of the joke, and these are fake anyway.)
Patriots White House visit (fake) prop bets
Number of times Bill Belichick smiles:
Number of times Donald Trump compares the Patriots' Super Bowl comeback to his election night performance:
Number of times Trump says "Fake News"in reference to people who said the Super Bowl was over at halftime:
Will Trump specifically compare the Falcons to Hillary Clinton?
Will Trump compare the Falcons' fourth quarter to North Korea's missile tests?
Will Trump compare “Deflategate” to accusations of Russia hacking the presidential election?
Will Trump say "terrific" twice in a row when describing the Patriots?
Will Trump compare the Patriots' "terrific, terrific" defense to a wall?
Will Trump assume Julio Jones is from Mexico and compare the Patriots' defense stopping him to the proposed border wall stopping illegal immigrants?
Will Julian Edelman hit on Ivanka Trump?
Will Edelman hit on Melania Trump?
Will Edelman hit on Karen Pence?
Will Trump compare himself to Tom Brady because of their foreign, model wives and all the “winning” they do?
Will Rob Gronkowski whisper "I thought a black guy was in charge" to his nearest teammate?
Will Gronk say "Huh? When?" when his nearest teammate tells him Donald Trump succeeded Barack Obama as president?
Will Gronk try to mess up Trump's hair?
Will Robert Kraft wear a blue shirt with a white collar and cuffs?
OFF THE BOARD
Will Danny Amendola make a personal, impassioned plea for health care reform?
Will Trump acknowledge the Patriots players who skipped the ceremony?
In reference to the players who skipped the ceremony, will Trump say, "Frankly, you'rebetter off without them. I don't know why they're not here. I don't. I'm not that bad of a guy, right? I'm a great guy. This is tremendous. It's tremendous. You'll see. I'm great for ratings. You have to give me that. This will be huge."
Will White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer say more people watched Wednesday's ceremony than the Patriots' ceremony with Barack Obama in 2015?
Will Spicer say more people watched Wednesday's ceremony than the actual Super Bowl?
Number of times Keith Olbermann questions whether Trump said “nominated by Russian hackers"when he actually said “dominated by rushing 'backers'” when praising Rob Ninkovich?
Over/Under 1.5 (Ninkovich is actually of Serbian ancestry, but his name sounds Russian enough. Just go with it.)
Who will present an honorary Patriots jersey to Trump?
Robert Kraft (2/1)
Bill Belichick (2/1)
Kraft, Belichick together (2/1)
Rob Ninkovich (30/1)
Number of NFL teams whose fans will create memes involving a picture of Belichickand Trump together:
Over/Under 28.5 (we're not sure if the Jaguars have fans)