Advertisement

Premier League HOT or NOT

What’s very sexy - and not remotely sexy - in football this week…

HOT

Libor Kozak
The Czech striker didn’t so much come in from the cold this week as emerge from a deep freeze where his body was stored cryogenically somewhere in the depths of Villa Park. But whatever strange experiments Aston Villa chiefs have been conducting on Kozak, they seem to have been successful. His first start for more than two years coincided with Villa’s first win for roughly the same amount of time. Although he didn’t score, Villa’s forgotten man at least looked marginally more effective than fellow beanpole Rudy Gestede. For Villa fans, suddenly the future is bright. The future is Libor Kozak.

Andre Marinner
If you’ve ever wondered what would happen when a Premier League referee calls in sick, the answer could be found at the Liberty Stadium as stand-in official Graham Scott replaced his poorly colleague Marinner for Sunderland’s trip to Swansea. The result was utter chaos. Scott awarded laughable penalties, allowed offside goals and brandished red cards at innocent bystanders as the Black Cats won a silly game 4-2 thanks to Jermain Defoe’s hat-trick. But the man who came out smelling sweetest of all was the absent Marriner. Maybe top flight referees do know what they’re doing after all? Nah.

Dimitri Payet
Is there a Premier League player more important to their team than West Ham’s French midfielder, who returned from a two-month injury lay-off against Bournemouth to inspire the Hammers’ first away win since October? Payet picked up where he left off before his injury with a sublime free-kick and a majestic assist in his side’s 3-1 victory against the Cherries. Slaven Bilic remains without key men Diafra Sakho, Andy Carroll and Manuel Lanzini, but Payet appears to have a rare talent for winning games on his own. If only he could rub some of that magic onto Nikica Jelavic, West Ham could be a top four side.

NOT

Diego Costa
When James McClean accuses you of “not being nice” you know you’ve done something bad. And if the Stamford Bridge tunnel could speak as eloquently as McClean (in reality it’s only marginally less articulate), it would probably say similar things about Costa after the Chelsea striker reportedly punched a hole through it when he was substituted for his own good during the Blues’ 2-2 draw with West Brom. Since being pilloried, and banned, for his petulant antics against Arsenal earlier in the season, Costa has done a decent job of keeping Bad Diego under wraps. But the demons seemed to have wriggled free against the Baggies as Costa reverted to type with imaginary card waving, aggressive gesticulating and compulsive moaning.

Gary O'Neil
It’s easy to forget that, 13 years after making his top flight debut with Portsmouth, Gary O'Neil is still a Premier League player. So maybe the Norwich midfielder’s bonkers challenge on Stoke City’s Ibrahmim Afellay at the Britannia Stadium on Wednesday night was just his way of reminding us he’s still around. The referee certainly noticed O'Neil’s sliding tackle from behind on Afellay, who was minding his own business in the least dangerous area of the pitch before being needlessly clattered. It earned O'Neil the most pointless red card of the season and, thereafter, the Canaries faced a losing battle.

Goalkeepers
There were 34 goals in the midweek round of Premier League fixtures and for this goal fest we can thank the incompetence of various shotstoppers. Crystal Palace’s Wayne Hennessey showed great generosity to allow Villa’s Joleon Lescott to nod tame header past/through him, while Swansea’s Lukasz Fabianski also gifted struggling Sunderland at least one of their goals. Liverpool’s Simon Mignolet managed to conceded from a corner, while even the in-form Jack Butland could be found kicking balls straight to the opposition. Football is rarely more exciting when the goalkeepers are rubbish. Thanks, guys.

@darlingkevin