How Rafa Benitez and Jose Mourinho became managers of the year

Premier League Manager of the Year: Jose Mourinho

They said that Jose Mourinho would not be able to create a legacy. That he would not be able to keep away from his old tricks. It looks like they were right. Chelsea are combusting, with the players no longer trusted by the fans. John Terry is no longer the leader he once was, and they lie on the outskirts of a relegation battle.

But consider this. At Real Madrid, they want him back as they see how bad a job his old foe Rafael Benitez is doing. At Manchester United, they want him after seeing him emerge as a well-timed alternative to the struggling Louis van Gaal. So, when they said that Mourinho couldn’t plan for the long term, consider this. Roman Abramovich, the man who sacked him almost 10 years ago, has a club in disarray without a permanent manager to rescue the season. Real Madrid want him back after failing to properly bend to his will. And Manchester United are in touching distance of the title, ready for his triumphant appointment, where he will poke both of Arsene Wenger’s eyes out and slide the length of Old Trafford, completely nude.

European Manager of the Year: Rafael Benitez

Real Madrid fans are possibly as bad as the worst fans in the world. There are two others sides in contention for achievement. The first are Arsenal fans, who believe very strongly that all their players are world class, or potentially world class, and who oleaginously call their players by their first names, a weird case of assumed chumminess, and with names like Theo, Olivier and Jack, it gives them a thrill to see they share the names of their public school mates. They are a tiresome cult who will, this season, not acknowledge that waiting a decade for a substandard manager to win the league again is an indictment of the club’s indulgence of mediocrity, not some great vindication of a manager past his expiration date.

The other contenders are Barcelona fans. They tie up their identity with Catalan nationalism, despite being from Romford or San Jose. It’s fine to feel affection for your club, but when you’re pretending you know the ins and outs of the political situation in modern Spain, citing the Spanish Civil War and fatuous comments made by footballers who appear for the Catalan ‘national’ side, it’s got out of hand. Add to that the veneration of Luis Suarez, the Uruguayan Jamie Vardy, the shilling for Qatar, and the ‘more than a club’ arrogance, and you have a combination that stinks. They run the winners close.

The winners, of course, are Real Madrid fans. Not since toddlers told to wait three seconds for some chocolate has there been a more egregious display of entitlement and impatience. Managers get a couple of months to impress, players get a couple of minutes, and then they dutifully troop to Spanish media’s website to demand one player, arbitrarily victimised and singled out, be sold immediately, and that the manager be cast into the sea.

Therefore, Rafael Benitez has to be awarded some fine work this season, for his performance art in Madrid. He’s managed to alienate all the players with his terrible management, upset the fans with his conservative, boring and limiting tactics, and has now even managed to put pressure on the president, who is at the heart of the unpleasantness of the fans, given his pursuit of Galacticos for about a decade. No manager could deliberately be this bad, yet the fans have not yet clocked that his incompetence is merely an ersatz method of bringing down a club, all because Jorge Valdano called his approach to football, ‘**** on a stick’ 10 years ago. This kind of bitterness deserves to be recognised.

Premier League top scorer awards

Congratulations are deserved for the players who currently lead the Premier League scorers table. They’ve had exceptional seasons so far. One has fired relegation candidates into contention for European players. Another has reinvigorated his career and what we should also expect of him, and another has put his side into contention for the title - out of nowhere - with some remarkable performances. So congratulations, then, to Odion Ighalo, Romelu Lukaku and Riyad Mahrez.

Mahrez intermittently impressed with Leicester City last year, when it appeared he’d cost a pittance from Le Havre. He was technically adept, had an eye for space on the right wing, and could pass well enough. However, he faded in and out of prominence as he adjusted to the rigours of English football. This season, Mahrez has improved remarkably, not just in terms of consistency, but with improved calmness and efficiency when it comes to scoring and assisting.

It isn’t just Mahrez who has improved, but Ighalo too. It’s never obvious how players will fare as they go from the Championship to the Premier League. The defences are more organised, chances are rarer, and the pressure is more intense. Mistakes stack up and can exert an almost unbearable pressure if things don’t go your way. Ighalo has done wonderfully, though, using his technical skill and striker’s instinct to surge up the scoring table, in third place between Mahrez, and the top scorer this season.

Romelu Lukaku has had an odd career. He seemed destined to succeed Didier Drogba, but his impatience, Jose Mourinho’s distrust of youth, and his inexperience saw him leave for Everton, who were impressed enough to find the cash for him. But it hasn’t been a smooth rise. There were times he looked like a clogger, and times when it looked like all he had was his finishing, which was far from faultless. This season, he has been at the heart of Everton’s improvement. They may only be 10th, but with the heightened competition from top to bottom in this season, they are still in touch of European qualification.

What none of these three players have done on their way to topping the scoring charts so far, what they have in common, is not just hard work. They’ve also not racially abused a Japanese man.