Ronaldo to Arsenal? Piers Morgan and a likely friendship reveals absolutely nothing at all

Ronaldo at Arsenal Credit: Alamy
Ronaldo at Arsenal Credit: Alamy

First, Ronaldo and Piers Morgan have a very likely friendship as like attracts like…and there is no way he will be joining Arsenal.

 

Just good friends
Mediawatch keeps seeing the friendship between Piers Morgan and Cristiano Ronaldo – culminating in this latest predictable interview – described as an ‘unlikely’ one.

Indeed, Morgan himself describes it thus in The Sun:

‘I first interviewed Cristiano three years ago in Turin, Italy, when he was still playing for Juventus, and we ended up having a four-hour dinner together.

‘Since then, we’ve become very unlikely but very good friends. We text and speak a lot, and he has always been incredibly honest with me.’

What the f*** is unlikely about a friendship between two egotistical, self-serving [redacted]? Surely like attracts like?

Morgan’s other ‘unlikely’ sporting friendship is with Kevin Pietersen, of course. And Donald Trump has been known to enjoy a round of golf. What an ‘unlikely’ fourball that would be.

 

Ronaldo and Arsenal: The truth
The Sun are obviously very grateful to Piers Morgan for bringing them exclusive extracts from the big Ronaldo interview in which he revealed for only the 427th time that he is a complete pr*ck who cannot see beyond the end of his nose, but pretending that Premier League leaders Arsenal would ever sign his great pal is surely beyond the scope of their gratitude.

‘When there was speculation Ronaldo could leave in the summer, Morgan told him it was time to make the move to North London.

‘But a transfer never came to fruition with the Red Devils refusing to let the Portuguese leave.

‘The club’s stance could now change but it is not clear if Arsenal or Mikel Arteta are interested in Ronaldo.’

It’s actually really f***ing clear; there is zero chance that Mikel Arteta or Arsenal would sign Ronaldo. Having built a young, united squad low on ego, bringing in Ronaldo would be utterly ludicrous.

‘A transfer never came to fruition with the Red Devils refusing to let the Portuguese leave’? Yes, that was definitely why he never joined Arsenal (or any other big club). Absolutely nothing to do with him being an insufferable prick.

 

Do Ron, Ron, Ron
We can understand The Sun giving credence to such nonsense, but what excuse do other websites have for pretending that Ronaldo could join Arsenal?

The worst of the worst are football.london, who unashamedly publish this headline:

‘Arsenal news and transfers LIVE: Shock Cristiano Ronaldo move, Tielemans issue, World Cup build-up’

They got one thing right; it would be a ‘shock’. But it’s absolutely not ‘Arsenal news’ that a TV presenter and professional gobshite knows absolutely f*** all about football and is desperately trying to find a club for his very likely friend.

 

Legitimacy for Arteta
Elsewhere on football.london:

‘Cristiano Ronaldo’s huge Arsenal comment proves Mikel Arteta vision right amid Man Utd outburst’

That was our first thought too; Mikel Arteta must be absolutely buzzing now. He might sign Ronaldo out of sheer gratitude for proving his vision right, because being top of the Premier League table at Christmas proves absolutely nothing without the approval of the man himself.

‘Manchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo has grouped Arsenal with Liverpool and Manchester City as one of the top sides in the Premier League.’

Yes, he’s probably noticed that Arsenal are top of the Premier League.

 

ASK Portuguese
Of all the shocking revelations from Ronaldo Day, this has to be the least shocking on talkSPORT:

‘Piers Morgan reveals Cristiano Ronaldo ASKED HIM to do interview which has stunned Manchester United and explains motives behind stinging attack on club and Erik ten Hag’

Wow. A narcissist ASKED to speak about himself? Whatever next?

 

Fascination street
Piers Morgan has of course been on talkSPORT defending his likely friend and claiming that there are definitely more revelations that have not been initially released. And The Sun are obliging…

‘CRISTIANO RONALDO gives a “fascinating answer” on where he will be playing football next season, revealed Piers Morgan.’

Is it ‘Arsenal’, Piers? Is it balls. And Mediawatch is willing to bet that the ‘fascinating answer’ is that Ronaldo wants to go somewhere he is appreciated. Blah blah blah.

Morgan has also been busy justifying these egotistical outbursts in an interview on the taxi drivers’ favourite station.

“Erik ten Hag decided to scold, berate and publicly humiliate him.”

He also decided to recall him and then bizarrely give him the captaincy despite the fact that he literally refused to come off the bench against Tottenham, Piers.

“Ronaldo feels very angry with what is going on behind the scenes.

“There is no diminishing in his ability to play football, he’s just not getting picked.”

He’s scored three goals in over 1000 minutes of football, Piers. It’s an Anthony Gordon record, not one that screams GOAT.

“Ten Hag has decided to make an example of him, drop him, suspend him and not show some empathy behind the scenes.”

He also decided to recall him and make him captain despite being shown zero respect. And this is how he repays him? The only ‘fascinating answer’ will come to the question ‘Who the f*** will want him now?’

The article Ronaldo to Arsenal? Piers Morgan and a likely friendship reveals absolutely nothing at all appeared first on Football365.com.