"She Told Me I'm Putting Too Much Of A Workload On Her Back" — This Dad Doesn't Pay His Daughter To Babysit, And He Is Generating A Huge Controversy Online

A dad is asking Reddit users if he's an asshole because he doesn't pay his 20-year-old daughter to babysit — let's discuss.

"Let's talk"

The issue comes from u/Throwaway476905 whose daughter lives with him rent-free while attending college. "I only ask her to do a few things around the house from time to time, like cooking and cleaning. About three times a week for a few hours, she has to watch over her younger twin brothers who are 5 years old," he explained.

Two twin boys looking at each other and touching foreheads
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However, his daughter recently addressed her concerns with her dad. "She spoke up to me about how she feels I'm putting too much of a workload on her back which I don't see how. She told me she was okay with cooking and cleaning around the house, but having to watch over her siblings was annoying and stressful and taking away from her studies."

A father scolding his daughter
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Well, u/Throwaway476905 said that pissed him off. "I myself went to school while having to pay bills and take care of her as a baby alongside my ex-wife. I told her she was acting very privileged and that if I could do it, so could she. She didn't like that very much and stormed off into her room."

a young girl with her arms crossed in front of her
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"She went behind my back and told my sister about how 'bad' I was treating her. My sister is very kind and gullible at times, so she called me and said the least I could do was give her an allowance for the chores I make her do. I explained why I felt that wasn't necessary, and she told me not to compare my situation to my daughter's since I put myself in that position back then."

Two people arguing
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But, the dad believes that since she is living in his house rent-free and he is paying for her college, that should count as an allowance, and she should have to babysit free.

Two hands holding cash
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A lot of Reddit users are saying u/Throwaway476905 is an asshole. Here's what they're saying:

"You're an asshole because of your reasoning. 'I myself went to school while having to pay bills and take care of her as a baby...' That was your own baby and your own decision. Your daughter has no kids, it's not her responsibility," said u/eikerir.

"You're not the asshole for not giving her an allowance. She is living rent-free, after all. You are the asshole for your diatribe about how if you can go to school, pay bills, and take care of a family, she should also be able to. What may have been easy for you, may not be for her. People have different stress thresholds. If she's telling you that babysitting is too stressful on top of school and chores, I think you should listen. And it's not like she's complaining about chores and doesn't want to do anything around the house. She's simply telling you that adding babysitting to her chores is overwhelming for her, which it may very well be. Also, her siblings are your kids, not hers, so they're also your responsibility." —Anonymous

"It's not unreasonable to ask her to help out, but she also has her own life and plans, and she shouldn't always be expected to drop her plans to babysit," said u/LordMarcel.

"Asshole. Your kids are not her responsibility. She’s doing you a FAVOR by watching them. When your daughter inevitably goes no contact with you, don’t come back asking why," u/reddite69420 harshly stated.

"Cooking and cleaning are things you have to do on a regular basis anyway, but cooking and cleaning for an entire family vs. just cleaning up after yourself is a major difference. You're the asshole if you don't listen to her when she's saying it takes too much time away from studying to add the babysitting. Don't pay her, pay a babysitter so she can keep the study time." —Anonymous

"It sounds like you are putting the full responsibility of a full-time SAHM on her. You're an asshole." —u/amberallday

OK, BuzzFeeders. The floor is yours, let us know your thoughts on this one in the comments!