South Park took on the American opioid epidemic in a bizarre way. There was an unusual rash of birthday entertainer deaths — with an unusual set of circumstances. The local coroner said to Marcus, “We found nothing else except for two Hummels in the subject’s rectal cavity.” Marcus asked, “Hummels? In his rectal cavity, you say, and you do not find this out of the ordinary?” “Not at all,” replied the coroner. “We’ve found Hummels in nearly all the birthday entertainer’s anal cavities.”
The Hummel figurines led to the local nursing home, and when Stan went to visit his grandpa there, he quickly learned that a Miss McGullicutty was in charge.
“You see Miss McGullicutty over there?” his grandpa said. “Whoever has the best Hummel collection is top bitch in this place — and she’s got the best.”
It turned out that prescription painkillers were literally being dumped into the nursing home, and they were being used as currency to purchase Hummel figurines. Stan got to work stealing the Hummels from McGullicutty while the guys bought him some time by singing popular songs barbershop-quartet style.
With McGullicutty distracted, Stan was able to steal her Hummel figurine collection, and Stan’s grandpa used it to put his foot down the old-fashioned way — smashing her face in with a bag of Hummels.
South Park airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on Comedy Central.
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