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Stamford Bridge is Falling Down

First, the good news: I correctly predicted the result today!

Now, everything else.

It seems like a lifetime ago when the Bridge was a fortress. 77 games unbeaten until Sunderland showed up. Now the bricks have turned to dust, and the silver and gold stolen.

There was a tweet I read comparing this Chelsea side to Moyes’ United, which basically pointed out that sides coming to play them realized there was nothing to be afraid of. The emperor’s clothes are gone, and the world is taking no mercy or reprieve from humiliating the Blues.

Emperor is a poor term to carry through, for if we are to speak about Mourinho, “Ayatollah” or “der Führer” would be more apt.

Rumors abound about the dressing room being a shooting range for Jose’s personalized jabs and criticisms, and the infectious spread of unhappiness in the team are doing nothing to help the situation. And this performance against Southampton only serves to reassert the validity of the issues.

He has claimed in the post-match interview that he will, supposedly admirably, not walk away from his post, and will have to have the job pried from his dead fingers by Abramovich and the board.

There is, of course, a third option which involves several burly East European men in a black Ford Transit van snatching Jose out of bed in the middle of the night and tying two 50kg bags of caviar to his ankles and throwing him in the Thames.

I mean, shipping three goals for the first time in his managerial career at Stamford Bridge is heinous enough. Although it would be forgivable if it were an asterisk of a rousing victory, or if it was an anomalous incident in a title-winning campaign. But the situation continues to get worse and worse.

The figures make for grim reading. Eight points from eight games. Seven games conceding two or more goals. Twenty players who are in a complete heap of disarray. And the “special” one.

I try to resist discussing the tactics in my blog posts because I think it falls on deaf ears, but the same issues are so glaringly obvious, only now they have rippled out from the epicenter of crap that is Ivanovic.

Steven Davis’s equalizer was all Fabregas’s fault for again making no effort to follow his runner. The second goal was all but a guarantee that Terry is going to be sat on the bench for a good long time, to ensure he has time to obsess over the mental image of Sadio Mané twisting him. And the third goal from Pellé I really can’t criticize because I actually kind of enjoyed watching it.

Chelsea looked decent until Willian’s freak(?)/brilliant(?) free kick, and had at least some verve that could inspire some hope. But, true to form, Chelsea proved again how much they are out of form.

Where we go from here I cannot tell you. Two weeks of international play will hopefully get some players back in shape, but after the last break it was still the same old stale Chelsea. Aston Villa come to the Bridge on the 17th, and if it were possible I’d predict a score with negative numbers. Although Villa would have fewer, of course.

The way this season is going, I’m tempted to start learning about Championship teams. See if there’s any hope of staying in the top 15 of that league once we’re relegated.

(Above): Ideal Formation. (With all players covering Ivanovic should Mourinho insist on selecting him. And Diego Costa where he is least likely to assault or murder anyone.)