Stokealona Have Arrived

After the result on Saturday (Stoke City 2-0 Man City) I had to check my advent calendar. I could of sworn I had only opened a few doors, and after checking, I was right, I had. You could of fooled me, I thought Christmas had come to The Britannia and Santa had given his favourite red and white football fans their presents. But it just turns out we’ve finally morphed into Barcelona, and I don’t really have an advent calendar, just to clear that up, I’m 25-years-old for gods sake.

We started the game with a false-nine. A FALSE-NINE. STOKE CITY. A FALSE-NINE. If that doesn’t show how our style has changed I don’t think anything else will, it’s absolutely nothing like the Stoke of old that some people still can’t seem to forget. It’s the equivalent of Charlie Adam coming on with castanets one week screaming “Ole”, albeit in a heavy Scottish accent, stinking of Irn-Bru.

We were first on Match of the Day, journalists were fawning over our dismantling of a side put together for the price of a billion Bojans, there were calls for Shawcross to be called up to the England side, and people claiming they’d rather watch us than Manchester United. It was all happening, at last!

Bojan, Arnie and Shaqiri would of given Messi, Neymar and Suarez a run for their money that day. It was probably the most skilful, cutting-edge, beautiful and sexual Stoke performance I’ve ever watched. And when I say that our new holy trinity could of had double-figures you can’t even call me a liar, that’s how ridiculously good we were.

What’s best about this result is that it seems to have finally woken up the footballing world to the style we play - but it’s been going for a couple of years now - thanks for eventually noticing people.

I’m off to celebrate by buying an advent calendar, and I’m going to scoff the whole lot in one go because I’m allowed because I’m 25-years-old (also because I’m poor and they’re cheap now the 1st has passed).