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Unseemly scrambles, tearful Cherries and Watford's carousel

IT’S ALL OVER

And that, after 1,034 goals in 380 matches across 352 days, is finally a wrap. The longest Premier League season entered its final day with Liverpool and Manchester City already crowned champions and runners-up, with Norwich consigned to the drop, but those all important and unseemly scrambles for the top and bottom four still up in the air. Despite getting the crucial win they needed against a predictably obliging Everton results elsewhere went against Bournemouth, much like results in far too many matches they were personally involved in went throughout the campaign. Looking on the verge of tears, like he does even at the best of times, Eddie Howe refused to be drawn on his future at the club he has served with such distinction. “I feel very emotional,” he said. “Very disappointed, sad and dejected – loads of different things but they are difficult emotions to feel. In terms of the future and what it looks like, that is for another day.”

Related: Premier League 2019-20 review: the big quiz of the season

Having sleepwalked through their third consecutive first half during which they found themselves 3-0 down, somebody at Watford remembered to flick the switch but a stirring, ultimately fruitless comeback against Arsenal ensured they’d be joining Bournemouth and Norwich in the Championship when the carousel starts turning again. Over to you Quiq ... sorry, no ... Javi ... oops, we mean Nige ... gah, why don’t you talk about what the future holds, Troy? “I honestly don’t know if this is going to be my last game at Watford or in the Premier League,” said the club captain. “If I do ultimately stop playing for Watford as of now I’ve had a great run. Things happen in football. I have been here 10 years. If it is my time to go, it is my time to go.”

Meanwhile, Aston Villa’s jubilation at avoiding the drop by the skin of their teeth manifested itself in a dressing-room rendition of Sweet Caroline that prompted scorn and derision from Roy Keane. “Imagine if they ever win anything,” said the man rumoured to celebrate his own birthday by hitting himself repeatedly with a stick wrapped in barbed wire. Closer to the business end of the table Manchester United and Chelsea had the audacity to look pleased after securing their berths in next season’s Big Cup, despite Frank Lampard having gone off on one at Liverpool’s coaching staff for being in breach of the “touchline code” for celebrating last week. “I’m very pleased,” said Frank. “As much as I would like to start singing my own praises, it’s down to the players and what they have done this season.”

And finally, consigned to Big Vase in the wake of their defeat at the hands of Manchester United, Brendan Rodgers reflected on and up and down season for Leicester, whose campaign was derailed by a combination of knack to key personnel and the strange disappearance of Caglar Soyuncu’s mojo during lockdown. “Next year, it’s about ambition, improving the ambition, improving the quality. This experience will serve us really well going into next year.” Next year? Somebody ought to tell Brendan that the top-flight treadmill starts rolling again in seven weeks.

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Join Scott Murray at 7.45pm BST for Cardiff 1-2 Fulham in the first leg of their Championship play-off semi-final.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

25 July: “The team has supported the appointment and will give him a warm welcome. Personally, I want fans to support him too” – Dynamo Kyiv goalkeeper Denys Boyko wants the club’s supporters to get behind new manager, Mircea Lucescu, a long-time former boss of rivals Shakhtar Donetsk.

27 July: “It’s impossible for me to work in a hostile environment” – Mircea Lucescu flings himself through the door marked Do One after fans laugh in the face of Boyko’s calls to give him a chance and instead turn up the heat until they force him out of town.

Mircea Lucescu, seen here in happier times when managing Shakhtar.
Mircea Lucescu, seen here in happier times when managing Shakhtar. Photograph: Sergei Supinsky/AFP/Getty Images

RECOMMENDED LISTENING

Football Weekly is here, in which the pod squad make all kind of judgments on the Premier League season that you are sure to disagree with.

RECOMMENDED REVIEWING

If the pod’s end-of-season mutterings got you you wound up, wait till you read what our writers made of the season, in these categories: Managers of the season | Players of the season | Goals of the season | Young players of the season | Signings of the season | Matches of the season | Gripes of the season | Flops of the season | Pundits of the season. Go on, get click, clickety, clicking!

FIVER LETTERS

“From winner of the treble to ‘champion of the last five matches‘. What a difference a decade makes, as the great Dinah Washington would have sung if she been alive long enough to see the irrevocable decline of the Special One” – Noble Francis.

“I was looking at the league tables in England and Spain (I got bored after Manchester United scored the penalty against Leicester yesterday) and found out that if you finished 45 points behind the leader in the Premier League (YNWA, particularly outside the stadium apparently) then you were still in the top 10 while in the Championship if you finished 45 points behind the leader then you got relegated and if you finished 35 points behind the less bad than Barca leader in La Liga then you were still in the top 10, while if you finished 35 points behind the leader in the Segunda División then you get relegated. There must be something in that …” – also Noble Francis.

Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … er, Noble Francis.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Dean Smith was in reflective mood after Aston Villa’s great escape from relegation. “A lot of people have lost their lives due to the pandemic, including my father, and he’ll be looking out for us, I’m sure,” he said.

Dejan Lovren’s leaving of Liverpool is complete, with the centre-back joining Zenit for a cool £10.9m. “He’s been so important to us,” sobbed Jürgen Klopp.

Forgotten Manchester United midfielder Andreas Pereira has returned from the shadows to reveal his feelings on Virgil van Dijk: “boring, arrogant” and James Milner: “I don’t like him”.

Jamie Vardy’s celebration of being the oldest winner of the top-flight golden boot since 1948 was muted after Brendan Rodgers expertly guided Leicester out of the last Big Cup qualification spot on the final day. “He’s a joy to work with, has a great mentality and has such quality,” burbled Brenny.

And David Moyes is wielding the axe at West Ham, where Swiss striker Albian Ajeti (us neither) has been loaned out to the Queen’s Celtic.

STILL WANT MORE?

How much do you remember about the longest Premier League season ever? Take this quiz to find out.

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And catch up on the latest deals and club-by-club guides for the WSL and leagues in Italy, France, Germany and Spain, with our women’s summer transfer window interactive.

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ANOTHER ONE THAT’S 30 YEARS YOUNG