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Woman explains how to handle being ghosted while dating with ‘Boring Uncle Theory’: ‘People don’t need to be inside your soul’
When it comes to dating, not every relationship works out. Some have amicable breakups, while others may not have a concrete ending. Ghosting someone, or being ghosted, is a common reality, but there are ways to handle it.
Margarita Nazarenko (@margarita.nazarenko) recently posted a video explaining how to properly handle being ghosted or breadcrumbed — which is when someone gives the other person just enough attention to keep them interested or hopeful that something serious can form. According to her, people should turn to the “Boring Uncle Theory.”
To describe the theory, Nazarenko paints the picture of a person sitting next to an uncle at dinner who is telling an uninteresting story. The way you’d react to him in that moment is how people should react to ghosters or breadcrumbers.
“You’re not going to give him all of your attention,” she said. “You’re not going to tell him how boring his story is because you don’t want to hurt his feelings. …You’re not going to give him immediate attention.”
Nazarenko’s strategy helps the person being ghosted flip the script, and of the over 3 million people who watched the video, several were happy to hear this tip.
“Needed to hear this, thank you bae,” replied @officiallyval.
“Agreed! Some people only want to drain your energy,” replied @beautybyallii7.
One of the major points from Nazarenko is that people shouldn’t overextend themselves in hopes of winning a person back.
“You also don’t want to act emotionally and cry to this person and explain to them how you were abandoned in your childhood,” she said. “They haven’t deserved to know you like that. People don’t need to be inside your soul.”
This tactic could be useful for many people. In 2019, YouGov released a survey that revealed about 30% of U.S. adults have been ghosted before. According to psychcentral.com, about 30% of adult daters have also been breadcrumbed. On top of ghosting and breadcrumbing, there are other tactics such as fizzling — in which one party slowly puts less effort into the other person.
In any of these situations, the “Boring Uncle Theory” would be the perfect way to level the playing field and keep moving forward.
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