When you’ll get married, based on your Myers-Briggs type

Jenna Birch
Contributing Writer
Your personality type says a lot about when you’ll get married. (Photo: Getty Images)

The median age for getting married continues to steadily climb. In 1960, men on average got married at the age of 22 and women at the age of 20; by 2010 it was 28 for men and 26 for women. As marriage stats change, one thing does seem to remain the same, and that’s how personality type affects when you’ll tie the knot.

Each Myers-Briggs personality type has their own approach to the romance game — some are wired for commitment, others tend to delay, but all are prone to falling when they meet just the right person at a uniquely suitable time. Find out when you are going to get hitched, based on your Myers-Briggs type, below.

Note: The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a personality test that helps us to better understand ourselves and the people who surround us in our day-to-day lives. It tells us what we do with incoming information — how we process it and use it to make decisions. If you don’t know your type, a quick online quiz can help you find out. (Or, of course, the official assessment.)

ENTP: You’ll get married when someone captivates your mind, not just your fleeting emotions.

You’re a natural flirt and tend to charm others — but you’re also better at understanding others’ feelings than you are your own. Sometimes, you’ll even think you’re head over heels when your spark is destined to fizzle. You’ll fall in like a lot, but you’ll only fall in forever-love when you meet someone who engages your mind fully, allowing you to play, letting you explore, and making you think in ways you never thought possible.

ISTP: You’ll get married when you actually spend as much time with someone as you do alone.

You’re a renegade ISTP, and you’re plenty content on your own. You don’t need a buddy to go mountain biking with, or even to travel to a new country. However, when you find yourself choosing to spend time with another person, because you have the same ideals and like the same things — that’s when you should tie the knot. It’s a love that makes sense and has staying power, and that’s just what you need.

ISFJ: You’ll get married when someone chooses you. Period.

You’re not terribly complex when it comes to love — but not because you’re simple. You just believe in the kind of love that’s like a magical, electric friendship with someone who’s equally committed to long-term coupledom. You typically fly under the radar but always hope someone will choose you. And one day, someone is going to see how much you want to be the perfect partner. When you feel truly taken care of and loved, when someone becomes your fairy-tale ending and soft place to fall, that’s when you’ll marry.

ESTP: You’ll get married when you meet the (rare) person who always keeps you on your toes.

Of all the types, you casually date, couple up, and break up the most easily. You might even have the idea that you’re immune to truly falling for someone and will probably commit much later in life than most. When you grow up a bit, you’ll start gravitating toward long-term substance — and you’ll fall hard for the person who won’t play your usual games, who forces you to get comfortable with feeling. When you meet someone who seems to have endless interesting layers, and you’ve dated around enough to know your bond is a special adventure in and of itself, you’ll marry.

INTP: You’ll get married when you’re mentally compatible and you respect no one more.

You have high standards, but they’re relatively simple ones: You want someone who can keep up with your theorizing and weird, offbeat intellectual interests. Boom! You will probably not focus on love much early in life (teens, college), and be somewhat of a late bloomer. But ironically, when you decide it’s time to have a real relationship, you’ll fall for the first person you meet who “fits” — and you’ll marry if and when they want to take the next step, as a sign of your true commitment.

INFP: You’ll get married when someone engages your unique mind as much as they take care of your heart.

Lots of people see your low-key love for others; all your best friends know, you care a lot about people. A lot. When it comes to love, you even care about relationships you know deep down are never going to last. You crave intimate connection, but you need a mindmate as much as you need a secret softie. When you stop trying to make “almost right” partners work, stay single, and look for that inexplicable mental connection, that’s when you’ll marry. And it may take a while.

ENTJ: You’ll get married when someone shows you how to give in to your feelings.  

You’re a boss all day, the most competent person at the company, the best leader in any group… You are constantly projecting your hard, can-do-anything exterior and rarely give into your emotional core. But you want to. In addition to high ideals for your life and career, you have similar ideals for love. You want a deep, passionate connection and always hold back just a little bit when you’re with the wrong person. You may come close to commitment several times, before you finally fall in forever-love with someone who’s supportive, passionate, and allows you to let your guard down and feel.

ESFJ: You’ll get married when you meet someone who finally notices (and appreciates) how big you love.

When someone catches your eye (and heart), you aren’t afraid to dive right in, connect emotionally, care for your partner, and constantly show just how much you care. However, sometimes, you’re prone to people-pleasing — and finding significant others who take advantage of your boundless generosity. When someone finally makes you feel seen for all your efforts and actions, and never takes you for granted? That’s your person. Wait for them.

ESFP: You’ll get married when you’ve enjoyed dating around, and you’re ready for a different adventure.

As an ESFP, you love dating around. The sparks, the unexpected quirks, the new activities and fun stories to tell … you’ll happily exist in your single, quasi-dating in-between for quite a while. When you start to bore of connections that go nowhere, probably closer to 30-ish, is when you’ll settle down. Marriage and parenthood must feel truly exciting to you in order to tempt you. When the idea does finally set your heart aflutter? Well, you’re such a warm, caring person, you’ll have hordes of suitors lining up.

ESTJ: You’ll get married when you’re inspired to slow down and add marriage to your list of goals.

ESTJs keep marriage as an afterthought for a long time. It’s not that you’re not open to love, it just takes a while before you care enough to edit your life plan to accommodate. However, you’re reasonable and rational in the sense that you see no reason to prevent a long-term commitment when you find someone who inspires you to be the best version of yourself. In that case, you’ll happily (and carefully) set a wedding date and call the planner.

INTJ: You’ll get married when you can’t see any barriers toward forever.

It takes a lot for you to feel long-term potential with anyone, which is why you’re always single. However, you’re not a commitment-phobe. You’re just waiting to meet someone who feels right in your gut. One day, you will meet this person who fulfills all your biggest needs — an intellectual equal, to whom you’re attracted, who supports your dreams and shares your beliefs. When you find that rare person, whether it’s at 25 or 55, you’ll do everything in your power to make it work and show them how much you love them, which also means getting hitched.

ISTJ: You’ll get married when you feel like the rock in the relationship.

You’re a crazy-capable human being, able to obtain basically whatever you find most important in life — and real love is on that list. To you, love is not complex. It’s a feeling, sure, but it’s also a commitment to the daily actions that uphold a relationship. You’ll marry when you feel like someone’s rock, or when someone sees you in this endearing superhero light. That kind of love will melt your hard exterior, and you’ll be itching to tie the knot in ways you never thought possible. Since you’re the highly traditional type, too, you’ll likely settle down a bit earlier than most.

INFJ: You’ll get married when someone actually “gets” the unique way you need to feel safe.

You typically act pulled together and rational. You make smart decisions. You are the type-A overachiever. And you make sure to show love and investment toward the closest people in your life. What most don’t see? How sensitive and emotionally complex you are. You will finally couple off when you meet someone who wants to protect your heart. In return, you will fully respect and admire this person, and your bond will feel deep and stable. It might take some time to find that lifetime love, but it will be worth the wait.

ENFP: You’ll get married when someone becomes your soft space, without becoming ho-hum.

You have the personality of an absolute dynamo. You motivate, inspire, and tell others how it is — but always in a way that engages and respects their emotions. Deep down, you want someone equally passionate and exciting, because you thrive on chasing new adventures, discovering new dreams, and taking new risks. You’ll know you’ve met the one when they allow you to be your expansive self, while feeling like your cushion. They’re along for the ride and down for the journey, and derive enjoyment watching you grow in the exact same way you champion others. When you meet that person, at any age, you will be happy to commit.

ENFJ: You’ll get married when someone appreciates (and returns) the million ways in which you love.

You derive a lot of esteem from your relationship and strive to make it the most fulfilling experience for both parties. You do the little things and the big things. You’ll bake brownies, just because you know your significant other likes them. You will talk for hours on the phone if your partner is having a rough few days on a work trip. You’ll also bend over backwards to accommodate your partner’s needs — and will always feel like something is wrong if you aren’t noticed and appreciated for all these efforts. You need that positive feedback and acknowledgment from a partner, with reciprocal action, to feel like the relationship is growing in the right direction. When you can keep that mutual energy and excitement over time, with one awesome person, you’ll gladly say, “I do.”

ISFP: You’ll get married when someone gives you a safe space to be yourself.

You feel emotions deeply. You’re a huge romantic. But you also don’t understand love; you see it as evolving, strange, and hard to capture. So, you don’t actively try to find The One, even though you’re constantly open to meeting new people in your chill, too-cool-for-school way. As you sit back and wait for life to unfold before you, you’ll find yourself gravitating to someone who lets you be your wild, free-spirited, creative self. You don’t force love, you quietly fall in and let it envelop you. And when that safe space you need to express yourself naturally develops with your long-term person, you’ll marry. (Probably elope, actually.)

Jenna Birch is a journalist, a dating coach, and author of   The Love Gap  (Grand Central Life & Style, January 2018). Her relationship column appears on Yahoo every Monday. To ask her a question, which may appear in an upcoming post, send an email to jen.birch@sbcglobal.net with “YAHOO QUESTION” in the subject line.

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