It's WrestleMania baby! The 'Ultimate Thrill Ride' - as it's been dubbed this year - takes place in Orlando in the early hours (from a UK perspective) on Sunday night, and the card is stacked with outstanding talent and matches that could potentially steal the show. Being a football website but appreciating the greatest in sports entertainment, it's only right that we take some time to make you entirely aware of the spectacle of the year and that it's actually happening. How to do that? Come...
Former WWE Universal Champion Kevin Owens is not exactly your prototypical WWE Superstar. He's well-renowned on the independent circuit (essentially the lower leagues in professional wrestling) and got his big break just a couple of years ago.
He's not torn to shreds with veins pooping out of his skin, but lord can he go. He's acrobatic and quick, and the extra body weight doesn't hinder him in the slightest.
If you're looking for a footballer who shares similar characteristics, well, Man Utd's perma-bench player is a certain Luke Shaw. Seems like a good fit...
Seth Rollins - or Crossfit Jesus, as he has become known - right now, is one of the best in the business. But the trouble for him is, he's spent a fair chunk of the last two years on the sidelines due to injury.
And then there's Sergio Aguero. Consistently brilliant when he plays, but made of actual glass.
Looking for a footballing double act? A pair of best mates who can also run their mouth and make you chuckle? Try Dele Alli and Eric Dier.
And from a WWE perspective, Enzo and Cass are pure entertainment. Enzo - the little guy with a microphone actually tattooed onto his hand because he loves talking so much - fits the bill as Dele, and Dier is logically there as the larger one who brings the muscle. He knows how to kick back a little too, though.
Is Dele a certified G and a bonafide stud, though? Is Dier 7ft tall and you can't teach that, though? These, ladies and gents, are the questions that EVERYBODY is asking.
AJ Styles and Alexis Sanchez have quite a bit in common, y'know.
They're both on the smaller side - Sanchez stands at 5ft 5in and Styles is considered a tiny in the world of giants that is WWE - and they're both really, really, really good. They're each susceptible to a tantrum, and they've proven themselves everywhere they've been.
They've even been linked with the exit door recently and have good reason to cross their bosses. Sanchez is frustrated that Arsene Wenger's Arsenal aren't competing for the big trophies and could move on this summer, while Styles recently beat up Shane McMahon in a parking lot.
So there's that.
Diego Costa, while quite a good footballer, has a screw loose. And Dean Ambrose has coined the nickname the 'Lunatic Fringe' because he too is actually...a little bit of a loon.
Paul Pogba takes a lot of sh*t for silly haircuts, over-elaborate handshakes with his mates, dabbing (lots of dabbing) and for actually enjoying his life. Must be tough when you're the world's most expensive footballer and don't care a jot about the critics.
Pogba is one of Man Utd's main men. But along with good pal Jesse Lingard (who'll dab
even more) and young starlet Marcus Rashford, the three make life at Old Trafford appear quite fun - even while they're not at their full power in the Premier League just yet.
The New Day are the outstanding comparison. The WrestleMania hosts wear wacky attire, shriek a lot, dance a lot and talk a lot, and erm, they also have their own cereal.
Chris Jericho...YOU'VE JUST MADE THE LIST!
Not the 'List of Jericho', but the list of footballers and their WWE Superstar equivalents with bad photoshopping of footballers faces on Superstars' bodies in an attempt to be funny. That one, yeah.
The thought process behind this one?
Jericho: Older, experienced, funny as hell, still as good as he ever was, if not better.
Buffon: Older, experienced, funny as hell, still as good as he ever was, if not better.
No 'stupid idiots' here!
Not too much thought has gone into this comparison, gotta be honest.
Sean Dyche and Goldberg though are bald (give or take), have goatees, and are double-hard bastards. Goldberg racked up over 100 consecutive victories while in his pomp at WCW, and Burnley are half decent at home this season. So that's good enough.
Goldberg is going into 'Mania as Universal Champion though, and dubbing old Dychey as the champion of anything - let alone the whole bloody universe - is a stretch.
We'll leave that there.
Once upon a time, Cristiano Ronaldo was actually well-liked. As was WWE's new golden boy, Roman Reigns.
Both of them now, though, are among the most polarising figures in their respective professions. They're incredibly talented, have got 'the look', and are set to be (or have been in Ronaldo's case) mainstays at the very top.
They're not going anywhere either. Deal with it.
Older. Vastly experienced. Massive. An actual God.
No, this isn't a bad write up for a dating-profile-turned-ever-so-slightly-perverted, but it's a series of words and tags that are fitting of both Zlatan Ibrahimovic and The Undertaker.
Zlatan isn't a deadman - far from it - but he'd have no problem hoisting you up for a chokeslam. Nobody crosses him after all, as Tyrone Mings recently found out...