Burnley

Burnley slideshow

Man City's celebrations? You should hear Burnley, says Rooney

Sean Dyche's side are "deafening" according to the former England captain, who would not be drawn to criticise Pep Guardiola's side

Man City's celebrations? You should hear Burnley, says Rooney

Sean Dyche's side are "deafening" according to the former England captain, who would not be drawn to criticise Pep Guardiola's side

Man City's celebrations? You should hear Burnley, says Rooney

Dressing room celebrations at Manchester City have become a talking point but Wayne Rooney says no one can match Burnley for decibels.

Premier League - Brighton & Hove Albion vs Burnley

Soccer Football - Premier League - Brighton & Hove Albion vs Burnley - The American Express Community Stadium, Brighton, Britain - December 16, 2017 Burnley manager Sean Dyche applauds the fans after the match Action Images via Reuters/Paul Childs

Premier League - Brighton & Hove Albion vs Burnley

Soccer Football - Premier League - Brighton & Hove Albion vs Burnley - The American Express Community Stadium, Brighton, Britain - December 16, 2017 Brighton manager Chris Hughton before the match Action Images via Reuters/Paul Childs

West Brom to make final big-money contract offer to Jonny Evans in a bid to repel Man City and Arsenal

West Bromwich Albion are ready to make a final contract offer to Jonny Evans, in a bid to repel Manchester City and Arsenal. Albion will hold talks with the Northern Ireland international over a deal which could be worth up to £100,000 a week, ensuring he becomes the best-paid player in the club's history. Alan Pardew, the Albion head coach, has recommended a lucrative offer for the defender as he is desperate to keep him for at least the remainder of this season, despite firm Premier League interest. City and Arsenal, plus Everton manager Sam Allardyce, will all target the £30 million-rated star next month and West Brom are bracing themselves for bids. Albion rejected offers from City, Arsenal and Leicester in the summer and managed to keep the former Manchester United centre-half, sticking to a price tag of around £35m. Evans will be out of contract at the end of next season and while hopes of him re-signing are understood to be remote, Albion will put an offer on the table. The club's wage bill is high, after a substantial spend over the last year, but there is room to bump up Evans' salary. There is a contingency plan in place if Evans is sold, with Burnley's Ben Mee understood to be a top target.  West Brom will target Burnley's Ben Mee if Jonny Evans leaves Credit: REUTERS But Pardew is set for talks with Evans ahead of the January transfer window to assess his state of mind. “We will have to cover all of those scenarios," he said. "It’s not nice having to deal with all of that but I’m still hopeful. “We still have four or five games before the transfer window opens. A lot can happen. We need to be on our guard. “We’ve talked about players who might be available. We won’t make an approach to any club or player just yet." West Brom face Manchester United on Sunday with £15m summer signing Oliver Burke in line to make his first Premier League start. Oliver Burke is in line to make his first Premier League start Credit: GETTY IMAGES Signed from Red Bull Leipzig in August, Burke has appeared in five games as a substitute and Pardew is considering throwing him in from the start against Jose Mourinho’s team. Burke, 20, is understood to have impressed coaching staff in training and his pace appeals to Pardew as he searches for his first win since succeeding Tony Pulis.

West Brom to make final big-money contract offer to Jonny Evans in a bid to repel Man City and Arsenal

West Bromwich Albion are ready to make a final contract offer to Jonny Evans, in a bid to repel Manchester City and Arsenal. Albion will hold talks with the Northern Ireland international over a deal which could be worth up to £100,000 a week, ensuring he becomes the best-paid player in the club's history. Alan Pardew, the Albion head coach, has recommended a lucrative offer for the defender as he is desperate to keep him for at least the remainder of this season, despite firm Premier League interest. City and Arsenal, plus Everton manager Sam Allardyce, will all target the £30 million-rated star next month and West Brom are bracing themselves for bids. Albion rejected offers from City, Arsenal and Leicester in the summer and managed to keep the former Manchester United centre-half, sticking to a price tag of around £35m. Evans will be out of contract at the end of next season and while hopes of him re-signing are understood to be remote, Albion will put an offer on the table. The club's wage bill is high, after a substantial spend over the last year, but there is room to bump up Evans' salary. There is a contingency plan in place if Evans is sold, with Burnley's Ben Mee understood to be a top target.  West Brom will target Burnley's Ben Mee if Jonny Evans leaves Credit: REUTERS But Pardew is set for talks with Evans ahead of the January transfer window to assess his state of mind. “We will have to cover all of those scenarios," he said. "It’s not nice having to deal with all of that but I’m still hopeful. “We still have four or five games before the transfer window opens. A lot can happen. We need to be on our guard. “We’ve talked about players who might be available. We won’t make an approach to any club or player just yet." West Brom face Manchester United on Sunday with £15m summer signing Oliver Burke in line to make his first Premier League start. Oliver Burke is in line to make his first Premier League start Credit: GETTY IMAGES Signed from Red Bull Leipzig in August, Burke has appeared in five games as a substitute and Pardew is considering throwing him in from the start against Jose Mourinho’s team. Burke, 20, is understood to have impressed coaching staff in training and his pace appeals to Pardew as he searches for his first win since succeeding Tony Pulis.

West Brom to make final big-money contract offer to Jonny Evans in a bid to repel Man City and Arsenal

West Bromwich Albion are ready to make a final contract offer to Jonny Evans, in a bid to repel Manchester City and Arsenal. Albion will hold talks with the Northern Ireland international over a deal which could be worth up to £100,000 a week, ensuring he becomes the best-paid player in the club's history. Alan Pardew, the Albion head coach, has recommended a lucrative offer for the defender as he is desperate to keep him for at least the remainder of this season, despite firm Premier League interest. City and Arsenal, plus Everton manager Sam Allardyce, will all target the £30 million-rated star next month and West Brom are bracing themselves for bids. Albion rejected offers from City, Arsenal and Leicester in the summer and managed to keep the former Manchester United centre-half, sticking to a price tag of around £35m. Evans will be out of contract at the end of next season and while hopes of him re-signing are understood to be remote, Albion will put an offer on the table. The club's wage bill is high, after a substantial spend over the last year, but there is room to bump up Evans' salary. There is a contingency plan in place if Evans is sold, with Burnley's Ben Mee understood to be a top target.  West Brom will target Burnley's Ben Mee if Jonny Evans leaves Credit: REUTERS But Pardew is set for talks with Evans ahead of the January transfer window to assess his state of mind. “We will have to cover all of those scenarios," he said. "It’s not nice having to deal with all of that but I’m still hopeful. “We still have four or five games before the transfer window opens. A lot can happen. We need to be on our guard. “We’ve talked about players who might be available. We won’t make an approach to any club or player just yet." West Brom face Manchester United on Sunday with £15m summer signing Oliver Burke in line to make his first Premier League start. Oliver Burke is in line to make his first Premier League start Credit: GETTY IMAGES Signed from Red Bull Leipzig in August, Burke has appeared in five games as a substitute and Pardew is considering throwing him in from the start against Jose Mourinho’s team. Burke, 20, is understood to have impressed coaching staff in training and his pace appeals to Pardew as he searches for his first win since succeeding Tony Pulis.

Brighton 0 Burnley 0: Glenn Murray rues missed penalty in forgettable stalemate

It is an exciting time to be a Burnley fan. Fifth in the league and with Tottenham, Manchester United and Liverpool to play over the festive season, they are in unchartered waters. This was a little less exciting and manager Sean Dyche was satisfied to leave his Christmas trip to the seaside with a point after weathering Brighton’s first-half storm. “The overriding thing is three clean sheets and seven points in a week. That’s a fantastic return,” said Dyche. “We’re not the real deal but I think we’ve moved forward. We don’t swagger into places. We haven’t earned that yet,” he added, as ever keeping his feet well and truly anchored to the ground. Brighton were the better side, ­particularly in the first half, which would have been reflected on the scoresheet had Glenn Murray not fired his penalty so high, it nearly left the Amex Stadium. “I think it was more of a tangle than a foul. From a distance you can see why he’s given it,” said Dyche. Murray’s was clearly Brighton’s best chance, though Anthony Knockaert also hit a post and Nick Pope saved ­brilliantly from Lewis Dunk’s header. Chris Wood had the ball in the net but it was ruled out for offside Credit: reuters This result is far more costly for the hosts than the visitors. Chris Hughton’s side are now without a win since Nov 4 and have scored only once, ironically a penalty, in six games. “When somebody misses a penalty that is part and parcel of the game. There’s no point in saying anything ­because he would be very disappointed himself,” said Hughton, adding that this game was “a missed opportunity”. This was the first meeting between these sides in the top flight and it is ­unlikely to live long in the memory. The stadium announcer fluffed his lines as the teams emerged for kick-off to set the tone for Murray’s similarly i­ndecipherable set-piece. Brighton were rewarded for their ­efforts when Chris Kavanagh awarded them a penalty as Murray tangled legs with James Tarkowski, while heading away from goal. The decision looked harsh, but ­Murray blazed the spot-kick over the bar with Dyche still busy remonstrating with the fourth official on the touchline. There had been few early openings for either side, though Dunk’s volley would have threatened the goal if it had not smacked into the back of his ­team-mate, Pascal Gross, after 12 ­minutes. Burnley were improved in the second half, though there were very few chances for either side. Dunk set Knockaert free down the right and the Frenchman raced towards goal, only to shoot unconvincingly past the far post. Though Burnley were on the back foot, Chris Wood did find the net after an hour, but was judged offside following Scott Arfield’s initial shot. Wood then latched on to another through ball and tried to chip Brighton goalkeeper Mathew Ryan but the Australian was equal to it. Brighton were unable to maintain the momentum they had created earlier and Dyche’s men seemed happy to settle for a point, which keeps them on the coat-tails of the league’s elite. “I’m very conscious of how difficult this league is,” said Hughton. “Teams around us and even below us have more experience than us and have spent more money than us.  “We’ve just got to find this formula to get the goals that we need to win football matches.”

Brighton 0 Burnley 0: Glenn Murray rues missed penalty in forgettable stalemate

It is an exciting time to be a Burnley fan. Fifth in the league and with Tottenham, Manchester United and Liverpool to play over the festive season, they are in unchartered waters. This was a little less exciting and manager Sean Dyche was satisfied to leave his Christmas trip to the seaside with a point after weathering Brighton’s first-half storm. “The overriding thing is three clean sheets and seven points in a week. That’s a fantastic return,” said Dyche. “We’re not the real deal but I think we’ve moved forward. We don’t swagger into places. We haven’t earned that yet,” he added, as ever keeping his feet well and truly anchored to the ground. Brighton were the better side, ­particularly in the first half, which would have been reflected on the scoresheet had Glenn Murray not fired his penalty so high, it nearly left the Amex Stadium. “I think it was more of a tangle than a foul. From a distance you can see why he’s given it,” said Dyche. Murray’s was clearly Brighton’s best chance, though Anthony Knockaert also hit a post and Nick Pope saved ­brilliantly from Lewis Dunk’s header. Chris Wood had the ball in the net but it was ruled out for offside Credit: reuters This result is far more costly for the hosts than the visitors. Chris Hughton’s side are now without a win since Nov 4 and have scored only once, ironically a penalty, in six games. “When somebody misses a penalty that is part and parcel of the game. There’s no point in saying anything ­because he would be very disappointed himself,” said Hughton, adding that this game was “a missed opportunity”. This was the first meeting between these sides in the top flight and it is ­unlikely to live long in the memory. The stadium announcer fluffed his lines as the teams emerged for kick-off to set the tone for Murray’s similarly i­ndecipherable set-piece. Brighton were rewarded for their ­efforts when Chris Kavanagh awarded them a penalty as Murray tangled legs with James Tarkowski, while heading away from goal. The decision looked harsh, but ­Murray blazed the spot-kick over the bar with Dyche still busy remonstrating with the fourth official on the touchline. There had been few early openings for either side, though Dunk’s volley would have threatened the goal if it had not smacked into the back of his ­team-mate, Pascal Gross, after 12 ­minutes. Burnley were improved in the second half, though there were very few chances for either side. Dunk set Knockaert free down the right and the Frenchman raced towards goal, only to shoot unconvincingly past the far post. Though Burnley were on the back foot, Chris Wood did find the net after an hour, but was judged offside following Scott Arfield’s initial shot. Wood then latched on to another through ball and tried to chip Brighton goalkeeper Mathew Ryan but the Australian was equal to it. Brighton were unable to maintain the momentum they had created earlier and Dyche’s men seemed happy to settle for a point, which keeps them on the coat-tails of the league’s elite. “I’m very conscious of how difficult this league is,” said Hughton. “Teams around us and even below us have more experience than us and have spent more money than us.  “We’ve just got to find this formula to get the goals that we need to win football matches.”

Dyche credits Burnley's resolve in battling Brighton draw

Sean Dyche saw "good signs" in Burnley's scoreless draw away to an out-of-form Brighton and Hove Albion.

Murray 'normally very reliable' from the spot - Hughton

Chris Hughton gave support to Glenn Murray following the striker's poor spot-kick in Brighton and Hove Albion's stalemate with Burnley.

Brighton and Burnley see out goalless stalemate on the south coast

Brighton and Burnley see out goalless stalemate on the south coast

Brighton and Burnley see out goalless stalemate on the south coast

Brighton and Burnley see out goalless stalemate on the south coast

Brighton 0 Burnley 0: Glenn Murray rues missed penalty in forgettable stalemate

Brighton 0 Burnley 0: Glenn Murray rues missed penalty in forgettable stalemate

Brighton and Hove Albion 0 Burnley 0: Murray pays the penalty for Seagulls

Brighton and Hove Albion shared the spoils with Burnley despite chances for both sides to find a winner.

City boss Guardiola has respect for Spurs, United and... Burnley

Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola revealed his respect for Saturday's opponent Tottenham Hotspur, as well as Premier League surprise package Burnley.

City boss Guardiola has respect for Spurs, United and... Burnley

Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola revealed his respect for Saturday's opponent Tottenham Hotspur, as well as Premier League surprise package Burnley.

City boss Guardiola has respect for Spurs, United and... Burnley

Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola revealed his respect for Saturday's opponent Tottenham Hotspur, as well as Premier League surprise package Burnley.

Thierry Henry: Tottenham are missing Victor Wanyama

Wanyama has not featured for Spurs since he sustained an injury in training ahead of the team's win over Burnley on August 27

Premier League Fantasy Football: Who's Hot and Who's Not in Gameweek 18

​The Premier League returns at the weekend after a brilliant round of midweek fixtures that served up drama at both ends of the table. Both Manchester clubs won, as did Chelsea, Tottenham and Burnley, as David Silva, Romelu Lukaku, Willian, Son Heung-min and Ashley Barnes all starred for their respective clubs. Plenty of players recorded decent points hauls in fantasy football on Tuesday and Wednesday, but who do you need in your team? Here are some pointers for the upcoming weekend of top...

Premier League Fantasy Football: Who's Hot and Who's Not in Gameweek 18

​The Premier League returns at the weekend after a brilliant round of midweek fixtures that served up drama at both ends of the table. Both Manchester clubs won, as did Chelsea, Tottenham and Burnley, as David Silva, Romelu Lukaku, Willian, Son Heung-min and Ashley Barnes all starred for their respective clubs. Plenty of players recorded decent points hauls in fantasy football on Tuesday and Wednesday, but who do you need in your team? Here are some pointers for the upcoming weekend of top...

Premier League Fantasy Football: Who's Hot and Who's Not in Gameweek 18

​The Premier League returns at the weekend after a brilliant round of midweek fixtures that served up drama at both ends of the table. Both Manchester clubs won, as did Chelsea, Tottenham and Burnley, as David Silva, Romelu Lukaku, Willian, Son Heung-min and Ashley Barnes all starred for their respective clubs. Plenty of players recorded decent points hauls in fantasy football on Tuesday and Wednesday, but who do you need in your team? Here are some pointers for the upcoming weekend of top...

Premier League Fantasy Football: Who's Hot and Who's Not in Gameweek 18

​The Premier League returns at the weekend after a brilliant round of midweek fixtures that served up drama at both ends of the table. Both Manchester clubs won, as did Chelsea, Tottenham and Burnley, as David Silva, Romelu Lukaku, Willian, Son Heung-min and Ashley Barnes all starred for their respective clubs. Plenty of players recorded decent points hauls in fantasy football on Tuesday and Wednesday, but who do you need in your team? Here are some pointers for the upcoming weekend of top...

Premier League Fantasy Football: Who's Hot and Who's Not in Gameweek 18

​The Premier League returns at the weekend after a brilliant round of midweek fixtures that served up drama at both ends of the table. Both Manchester clubs won, as did Chelsea, Tottenham and Burnley, as David Silva, Romelu Lukaku, Willian, Son Heung-min and Ashley Barnes all starred for their respective clubs. Plenty of players recorded decent points hauls in fantasy football on Tuesday and Wednesday, but who do you need in your team? Here are some pointers for the upcoming weekend of top...

Premier League Fantasy Football: Who's Hot and Who's Not in Gameweek 18

​The Premier League returns at the weekend after a brilliant round of midweek fixtures that served up drama at both ends of the table. Both Manchester clubs won, as did Chelsea, Tottenham and Burnley, as David Silva, Romelu Lukaku, Willian, Son Heung-min and Ashley Barnes all starred for their respective clubs. Plenty of players recorded decent points hauls in fantasy football on Tuesday and Wednesday, but who do you need in your team? Here are some pointers for the upcoming weekend of top...

Premier League Fantasy Football: Who's Hot and Who's Not in Gameweek 18

​The Premier League returns at the weekend after a brilliant round of midweek fixtures that served up drama at both ends of the table. Both Manchester clubs won, as did Chelsea, Tottenham and Burnley, as David Silva, Romelu Lukaku, Willian, Son Heung-min and Ashley Barnes all starred for their respective clubs. Plenty of players recorded decent points hauls in fantasy football on Tuesday and Wednesday, but who do you need in your team? Here are some pointers for the upcoming weekend of top...

Premier League Fantasy Football: Who's Hot and Who's Not in Gameweek 18

​The Premier League returns at the weekend after a brilliant round of midweek fixtures that served up drama at both ends of the table. Both Manchester clubs won, as did Chelsea, Tottenham and Burnley, as David Silva, Romelu Lukaku, Willian, Son Heung-min and Ashley Barnes all starred for their respective clubs. Plenty of players recorded decent points hauls in fantasy football on Tuesday and Wednesday, but who do you need in your team? Here are some pointers for the upcoming weekend of top...

Premier League Fantasy Football: Who's Hot and Who's Not in Gameweek 18

​The Premier League returns at the weekend after a brilliant round of midweek fixtures that served up drama at both ends of the table. Both Manchester clubs won, as did Chelsea, Tottenham and Burnley, as David Silva, Romelu Lukaku, Willian, Son Heung-min and Ashley Barnes all starred for their respective clubs. Plenty of players recorded decent points hauls in fantasy football on Tuesday and Wednesday, but who do you need in your team? Here are some pointers for the upcoming weekend of top...

Premier League Fantasy Football: Who's Hot and Who's Not in Gameweek 18

​The Premier League returns at the weekend after a brilliant round of midweek fixtures that served up drama at both ends of the table. Both Manchester clubs won, as did Chelsea, Tottenham and Burnley, as David Silva, Romelu Lukaku, Willian, Son Heung-min and Ashley Barnes all starred for their respective clubs. Plenty of players recorded decent points hauls in fantasy football on Tuesday and Wednesday, but who do you need in your team? Here are some pointers for the upcoming weekend of top...

Premier League Bingo: How many points can you pick up from this weekend's action? 

Leicester City vs Crystal Palace (Saturday, 12.30pm) 5 points: Leicester move to within a point of Arsenal with a convincing 3-1 home victory.  15 points: Shinji Okazaki confirms his status as one of the Premier League's unsung heroes with a goal and an assist. If only he had a fancy foreign name... 25 points: Crystal Palace fans embrace Christian Benteke's new-found role as 'pantomine villain' and shout 'he's behind you!' rather than man-on.  Arsenal vs Newcastle United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: The home side jump back up to fifth with a 3-0 win over a lifeless Newcastle outfit. 15 points: Jack Wilshere is named on the substitutes' bench and the first cry of 'SOOOOPPPAA, SUUUPPAAA, JACK' is heard from the North Bank two minutes into the game.  Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's 'SooopppaJack' Credit: Robbie Jay Barratt - AMA/Getty Images 25 points: There is a huge cheer when the half-time scores are read out and Arsenal fans hear that rivals Burnley are behind at Brighton.  Brighton vs Burnley (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Both teams score from a corner in a hard-fought draw.  15 points: Burnley will still have scored fewer goals than games played by the full-time whistle.  Sean Dyche - one disc beard, one vision Credit: Martin Rickett/PA 25 points: Glenn Murray is the only person at the Amex with a more elaborate foreign co-ordinated anti-British conspiracy theory than Sean Dyche. Chelsea vs Southampton (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Inconsistent Southampton once again flatter to deceive as Eden Hazard scores twice in a home win.  15 points: Charlie Austin is flagged offside at least six times.  25 points: David Luiz watches from the stands once again and wonders if he could book a flight back to Brazil for Christmas.  It's going to be a cold, cold Christmas, without Lu Credit: PETER CZIBORRA/Action Images Stoke City vs West Ham United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: West Ham continue their resurgence as Marko Arnautovic's goal against his former employers earns them a 2-1 win at the bet365 Stadium.  15 points: David Moyes puts the final nail in Mark Hughes's Stoke coffin, so that Hughes is free to eventually replace Moyes before Moyes eventually takes the Stoke job. That's how this works, right? Moyes hands on misery to Hughes Credit: REUTERS/Toby Melville 25 points: Michail Antonio collapses to the turf in exhaustion after 70 minutes again, and is replaced by an inanimate carbon rod.  Watford vs Huddersfield (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Huddersfield's alarming away record continues as they ship another four goals at Vicarage Road.  15 points: Troy Deeney is still suffering from karma after his Arsenal 'cojones' jibes, and is benched following his shocking miss at Vicarage Road.  25 points: Dean Whitehead comes on to make another Premier League appearance, as the worst farewell tour in sporting history continues.  Manchester City vs Tottenham (Saturday, 5.30pm) 5 points: Spurs come closer than any side to stopping the City juggernaut, but the hosts prevail 3-2 to record their 16th consecutive league victory. 15 points: There are more handbags in the tunnel, but this time City's one-way glass hospitality gives the nation the perfect view of flying milk.  25 points: Mauricio Pochettino reminds Pep Guardiola of his frequent failure to 'be a gentleman' after victories, cementing his credentials as a future Man Utd manager.  West Brom vs Man Utd (Sunday, 2.15pm) 5 points: Jose Mourinho's side continue to give a passable impression of title challengers with another comfortable win.  15 points: Romelu Lukaku scores against one of his former clubs, and refuses to celebrate out of 'respect'.  Romelu Lukaku scores but betrays no emotion out of enduring respect for the Brummie Road End Credit: Martin Rickett/PA Wire 25 points: Alan Pardew claims that he would be Man Utd manager now if Steven Gerrard had not denied his West Ham team the 2006 FA Cup.  Bournemouth vs Liverpool (Sunday, 4.30pm) 5 points: These two serve up another entertaining game after last season's 4-3 but Liverpool have to be content with a third straight draw.  15 points: Liverpool's Fab Four continue their mini-dip, and are closer to Gerry and the Pacemakers than John, Paul, George and Ringo on current form.   Philippe Coutinho (front), Sadio Mane, Mo Salah and Roberto Firmino (back) wonder how do you do what you do to them, they wished they knew ... Credit: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images 25 points: Eddie Howe offers to give Jurgen Klopp some lessons in good manners after the Liverpool manager's tete-a-tete with a Sky Sports reporter.  Everton vs Swansea (Monday, 8pm) 5 points: Sam Allardyce masterminds another Everton win but it is not resounding enough to reinstate Christmas.  15 points: Gylfi Sigurdsson's pinpoint set-piece delivery is a cruel reminder of what Swansea fans could have won.  Renato Sanches does what he does best this season Credit: Athena Pictures/Getty Images 25 points: Paul Clement puts his faith in Renato Sanches by giving him a more prominent role - he gets to put the cones out for the pre-match warm up. 

Premier League Bingo: How many points can you pick up from this weekend's action? 

Leicester City vs Crystal Palace (Saturday, 12.30pm) 5 points: Leicester move to within a point of Arsenal with a convincing 3-1 home victory.  15 points: Shinji Okazaki confirms his status as one of the Premier League's unsung heroes with a goal and an assist. If only he had a fancy foreign name... 25 points: Crystal Palace fans embrace Christian Benteke's new-found role as 'pantomine villain' and shout 'he's behind you!' rather than man-on.  Arsenal vs Newcastle United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: The home side jump back up to fifth with a 3-0 win over a lifeless Newcastle outfit. 15 points: Jack Wilshere is named on the substitutes' bench and the first cry of 'SOOOOPPPAA, SUUUPPAAA, JACK' is heard from the North Bank two minutes into the game.  Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's 'SooopppaJack' Credit: Robbie Jay Barratt - AMA/Getty Images 25 points: There is a huge cheer when the half-time scores are read out and Arsenal fans hear that rivals Burnley are behind at Brighton.  Brighton vs Burnley (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Both teams score from a corner in a hard-fought draw.  15 points: Burnley will still have scored fewer goals than games played by the full-time whistle.  Sean Dyche - one disc beard, one vision Credit: Martin Rickett/PA 25 points: Glenn Murray is the only person at the Amex with a more elaborate foreign co-ordinated anti-British conspiracy theory than Sean Dyche. Chelsea vs Southampton (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Inconsistent Southampton once again flatter to deceive as Eden Hazard scores twice in a home win.  15 points: Charlie Austin is flagged offside at least six times.  25 points: David Luiz watches from the stands once again and wonders if he could book a flight back to Brazil for Christmas.  It's going to be a cold, cold Christmas, without Lu Credit: PETER CZIBORRA/Action Images Stoke City vs West Ham United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: West Ham continue their resurgence as Marko Arnautovic's goal against his former employers earns them a 2-1 win at the bet365 Stadium.  15 points: David Moyes puts the final nail in Mark Hughes's Stoke coffin, so that Hughes is free to eventually replace Moyes before Moyes eventually takes the Stoke job. That's how this works, right? Moyes hands on misery to Hughes Credit: REUTERS/Toby Melville 25 points: Michail Antonio collapses to the turf in exhaustion after 70 minutes again, and is replaced by an inanimate carbon rod.  Watford vs Huddersfield (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Huddersfield's alarming away record continues as they ship another four goals at Vicarage Road.  15 points: Troy Deeney is still suffering from karma after his Arsenal 'cojones' jibes, and is benched following his shocking miss at Vicarage Road.  25 points: Dean Whitehead comes on to make another Premier League appearance, as the worst farewell tour in sporting history continues.  Manchester City vs Tottenham (Saturday, 5.30pm) 5 points: Spurs come closer than any side to stopping the City juggernaut, but the hosts prevail 3-2 to record their 16th consecutive league victory. 15 points: There are more handbags in the tunnel, but this time City's one-way glass hospitality gives the nation the perfect view of flying milk.  25 points: Mauricio Pochettino reminds Pep Guardiola of his frequent failure to 'be a gentleman' after victories, cementing his credentials as a future Man Utd manager.  West Brom vs Man Utd (Sunday, 2.15pm) 5 points: Jose Mourinho's side continue to give a passable impression of title challengers with another comfortable win.  15 points: Romelu Lukaku scores against one of his former clubs, and refuses to celebrate out of 'respect'.  Romelu Lukaku scores but betrays no emotion out of enduring respect for the Brummie Road End Credit: Martin Rickett/PA Wire 25 points: Alan Pardew claims that he would be Man Utd manager now if Steven Gerrard had not denied his West Ham team the 2006 FA Cup.  Bournemouth vs Liverpool (Sunday, 4.30pm) 5 points: These two serve up another entertaining game after last season's 4-3 but Liverpool have to be content with a third straight draw.  15 points: Liverpool's Fab Four continue their mini-dip, and are closer to Gerry and the Pacemakers than John, Paul, George and Ringo on current form.   Philippe Coutinho (front), Sadio Mane, Mo Salah and Roberto Firmino (back) wonder how do you do what you do to them, they wished they knew ... Credit: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images 25 points: Eddie Howe offers to give Jurgen Klopp some lessons in good manners after the Liverpool manager's tete-a-tete with a Sky Sports reporter.  Everton vs Swansea (Monday, 8pm) 5 points: Sam Allardyce masterminds another Everton win but it is not resounding enough to reinstate Christmas.  15 points: Gylfi Sigurdsson's pinpoint set-piece delivery is a cruel reminder of what Swansea fans could have won.  Renato Sanches does what he does best this season Credit: Athena Pictures/Getty Images 25 points: Paul Clement puts his faith in Renato Sanches by giving him a more prominent role - he gets to put the cones out for the pre-match warm up. 

Premier League Bingo: How many points can you pick up from this weekend's action? 

Leicester City vs Crystal Palace (Saturday, 12.30pm) 5 points: Leicester move to within a point of Arsenal with a convincing 3-1 home victory.  15 points: Shinji Okazaki confirms his status as one of the Premier League's unsung heroes with a goal and an assist. If only he had a fancy foreign name... 25 points: Crystal Palace fans embrace Christian Benteke's new-found role as 'pantomine villain' and shout 'he's behind you!' rather than man-on.  Arsenal vs Newcastle United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: The home side jump back up to fifth with a 3-0 win over a lifeless Newcastle outfit. 15 points: Jack Wilshere is named on the substitutes' bench and the first cry of 'SOOOOPPPAA, SUUUPPAAA, JACK' is heard from the North Bank two minutes into the game.  Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's 'SooopppaJack' Credit: Robbie Jay Barratt - AMA/Getty Images 25 points: There is a huge cheer when the half-time scores are read out and Arsenal fans hear that rivals Burnley are behind at Brighton.  Brighton vs Burnley (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Both teams score from a corner in a hard-fought draw.  15 points: Burnley will still have scored fewer goals than games played by the full-time whistle.  Sean Dyche - one disc beard, one vision Credit: Martin Rickett/PA 25 points: Glenn Murray is the only person at the Amex with a more elaborate foreign co-ordinated anti-British conspiracy theory than Sean Dyche. Chelsea vs Southampton (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Inconsistent Southampton once again flatter to deceive as Eden Hazard scores twice in a home win.  15 points: Charlie Austin is flagged offside at least six times.  25 points: David Luiz watches from the stands once again and wonders if he could book a flight back to Brazil for Christmas.  It's going to be a cold, cold Christmas, without Lu Credit: PETER CZIBORRA/Action Images Stoke City vs West Ham United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: West Ham continue their resurgence as Marko Arnautovic's goal against his former employers earns them a 2-1 win at the bet365 Stadium.  15 points: David Moyes puts the final nail in Mark Hughes's Stoke coffin, so that Hughes is free to eventually replace Moyes before Moyes eventually takes the Stoke job. That's how this works, right? Moyes hands on misery to Hughes Credit: REUTERS/Toby Melville 25 points: Michail Antonio collapses to the turf in exhaustion after 70 minutes again, and is replaced by an inanimate carbon rod.  Watford vs Huddersfield (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Huddersfield's alarming away record continues as they ship another four goals at Vicarage Road.  15 points: Troy Deeney is still suffering from karma after his Arsenal 'cojones' jibes, and is benched following his shocking miss at Vicarage Road.  25 points: Dean Whitehead comes on to make another Premier League appearance, as the worst farewell tour in sporting history continues.  Manchester City vs Tottenham (Saturday, 5.30pm) 5 points: Spurs come closer than any side to stopping the City juggernaut, but the hosts prevail 3-2 to record their 16th consecutive league victory. 15 points: There are more handbags in the tunnel, but this time City's one-way glass hospitality gives the nation the perfect view of flying milk.  25 points: Mauricio Pochettino reminds Pep Guardiola of his frequent failure to 'be a gentleman' after victories, cementing his credentials as a future Man Utd manager.  West Brom vs Man Utd (Sunday, 2.15pm) 5 points: Jose Mourinho's side continue to give a passable impression of title challengers with another comfortable win.  15 points: Romelu Lukaku scores against one of his former clubs, and refuses to celebrate out of 'respect'.  Romelu Lukaku scores but betrays no emotion out of enduring respect for the Brummie Road End Credit: Martin Rickett/PA Wire 25 points: Alan Pardew claims that he would be Man Utd manager now if Steven Gerrard had not denied his West Ham team the 2006 FA Cup.  Bournemouth vs Liverpool (Sunday, 4.30pm) 5 points: These two serve up another entertaining game after last season's 4-3 but Liverpool have to be content with a third straight draw.  15 points: Liverpool's Fab Four continue their mini-dip, and are closer to Gerry and the Pacemakers than John, Paul, George and Ringo on current form.   Philippe Coutinho (front), Sadio Mane, Mo Salah and Roberto Firmino (back) wonder how do you do what you do to them, they wished they knew ... Credit: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images 25 points: Eddie Howe offers to give Jurgen Klopp some lessons in good manners after the Liverpool manager's tete-a-tete with a Sky Sports reporter.  Everton vs Swansea (Monday, 8pm) 5 points: Sam Allardyce masterminds another Everton win but it is not resounding enough to reinstate Christmas.  15 points: Gylfi Sigurdsson's pinpoint set-piece delivery is a cruel reminder of what Swansea fans could have won.  Renato Sanches does what he does best this season Credit: Athena Pictures/Getty Images 25 points: Paul Clement puts his faith in Renato Sanches by giving him a more prominent role - he gets to put the cones out for the pre-match warm up. 

Premier League Bingo: How many points can you pick up from this weekend's action? 

Leicester City vs Crystal Palace (Saturday, 12.30pm) 5 points: Leicester move to within a point of Arsenal with a convincing 3-1 home victory.  15 points: Shinji Okazaki confirms his status as one of the Premier League's unsung heroes with a goal and an assist. If only he had a fancy foreign name... 25 points: Crystal Palace fans embrace Christian Benteke's new-found role as 'pantomine villain' and shout 'he's behind you!' rather than man-on.  Arsenal vs Newcastle United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: The home side jump back up to fifth with a 3-0 win over a lifeless Newcastle outfit. 15 points: Jack Wilshere is named on the substitutes' bench and the first cry of 'SOOOOPPPAA, SUUUPPAAA, JACK' is heard from the North Bank two minutes into the game.  Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's 'SooopppaJack' Credit: Robbie Jay Barratt - AMA/Getty Images 25 points: There is a huge cheer when the half-time scores are read out and Arsenal fans hear that rivals Burnley are behind at Brighton.  Brighton vs Burnley (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Both teams score from a corner in a hard-fought draw.  15 points: Burnley will still have scored fewer goals than games played by the full-time whistle.  Sean Dyche - one disc beard, one vision Credit: Martin Rickett/PA 25 points: Glenn Murray is the only person at the Amex with a more elaborate foreign co-ordinated anti-British conspiracy theory than Sean Dyche. Chelsea vs Southampton (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Inconsistent Southampton once again flatter to deceive as Eden Hazard scores twice in a home win.  15 points: Charlie Austin is flagged offside at least six times.  25 points: David Luiz watches from the stands once again and wonders if he could book a flight back to Brazil for Christmas.  It's going to be a cold, cold Christmas, without Lu Credit: PETER CZIBORRA/Action Images Stoke City vs West Ham United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: West Ham continue their resurgence as Marko Arnautovic's goal against his former employers earns them a 2-1 win at the bet365 Stadium.  15 points: David Moyes puts the final nail in Mark Hughes's Stoke coffin, so that Hughes is free to eventually replace Moyes before Moyes eventually takes the Stoke job. That's how this works, right? Moyes hands on misery to Hughes Credit: REUTERS/Toby Melville 25 points: Michail Antonio collapses to the turf in exhaustion after 70 minutes again, and is replaced by an inanimate carbon rod.  Watford vs Huddersfield (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Huddersfield's alarming away record continues as they ship another four goals at Vicarage Road.  15 points: Troy Deeney is still suffering from karma after his Arsenal 'cojones' jibes, and is benched following his shocking miss at Vicarage Road.  25 points: Dean Whitehead comes on to make another Premier League appearance, as the worst farewell tour in sporting history continues.  Manchester City vs Tottenham (Saturday, 5.30pm) 5 points: Spurs come closer than any side to stopping the City juggernaut, but the hosts prevail 3-2 to record their 16th consecutive league victory. 15 points: There are more handbags in the tunnel, but this time City's one-way glass hospitality gives the nation the perfect view of flying milk.  25 points: Mauricio Pochettino reminds Pep Guardiola of his frequent failure to 'be a gentleman' after victories, cementing his credentials as a future Man Utd manager.  West Brom vs Man Utd (Sunday, 2.15pm) 5 points: Jose Mourinho's side continue to give a passable impression of title challengers with another comfortable win.  15 points: Romelu Lukaku scores against one of his former clubs, and refuses to celebrate out of 'respect'.  Romelu Lukaku scores but betrays no emotion out of enduring respect for the Brummie Road End Credit: Martin Rickett/PA Wire 25 points: Alan Pardew claims that he would be Man Utd manager now if Steven Gerrard had not denied his West Ham team the 2006 FA Cup.  Bournemouth vs Liverpool (Sunday, 4.30pm) 5 points: These two serve up another entertaining game after last season's 4-3 but Liverpool have to be content with a third straight draw.  15 points: Liverpool's Fab Four continue their mini-dip, and are closer to Gerry and the Pacemakers than John, Paul, George and Ringo on current form.   Philippe Coutinho (front), Sadio Mane, Mo Salah and Roberto Firmino (back) wonder how do you do what you do to them, they wished they knew ... Credit: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images 25 points: Eddie Howe offers to give Jurgen Klopp some lessons in good manners after the Liverpool manager's tete-a-tete with a Sky Sports reporter.  Everton vs Swansea (Monday, 8pm) 5 points: Sam Allardyce masterminds another Everton win but it is not resounding enough to reinstate Christmas.  15 points: Gylfi Sigurdsson's pinpoint set-piece delivery is a cruel reminder of what Swansea fans could have won.  Renato Sanches does what he does best this season Credit: Athena Pictures/Getty Images 25 points: Paul Clement puts his faith in Renato Sanches by giving him a more prominent role - he gets to put the cones out for the pre-match warm up. 

Premier League Bingo: How many points can you pick up from this weekend's action? 

Leicester City vs Crystal Palace (Saturday, 12.30pm) 5 points: Leicester move to within a point of Arsenal with a convincing 3-1 home victory.  15 points: Shinji Okazaki confirms his status as one of the Premier League's unsung heroes with a goal and an assist. If only he had a fancy foreign name... 25 points: Crystal Palace fans embrace Christian Benteke's new-found role as 'pantomine villain' and shout 'he's behind you!' rather than man-on.  Arsenal vs Newcastle United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: The home side jump back up to fifth with a 3-0 win over a lifeless Newcastle outfit. 15 points: Jack Wilshere is named on the substitutes' bench and the first cry of 'SOOOOPPPAA, SUUUPPAAA, JACK' is heard from the North Bank two minutes into the game.  Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's 'SooopppaJack' Credit: Robbie Jay Barratt - AMA/Getty Images 25 points: There is a huge cheer when the half-time scores are read out and Arsenal fans hear that rivals Burnley are behind at Brighton.  Brighton vs Burnley (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Both teams score from a corner in a hard-fought draw.  15 points: Burnley will still have scored fewer goals than games played by the full-time whistle.  Sean Dyche - one disc beard, one vision Credit: Martin Rickett/PA 25 points: Glenn Murray is the only person at the Amex with a more elaborate foreign co-ordinated anti-British conspiracy theory than Sean Dyche. Chelsea vs Southampton (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Inconsistent Southampton once again flatter to deceive as Eden Hazard scores twice in a home win.  15 points: Charlie Austin is flagged offside at least six times.  25 points: David Luiz watches from the stands once again and wonders if he could book a flight back to Brazil for Christmas.  It's going to be a cold, cold Christmas, without Lu Credit: PETER CZIBORRA/Action Images Stoke City vs West Ham United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: West Ham continue their resurgence as Marko Arnautovic's goal against his former employers earns them a 2-1 win at the bet365 Stadium.  15 points: David Moyes puts the final nail in Mark Hughes's Stoke coffin, so that Hughes is free to eventually replace Moyes before Moyes eventually takes the Stoke job. That's how this works, right? Moyes hands on misery to Hughes Credit: REUTERS/Toby Melville 25 points: Michail Antonio collapses to the turf in exhaustion after 70 minutes again, and is replaced by an inanimate carbon rod.  Watford vs Huddersfield (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Huddersfield's alarming away record continues as they ship another four goals at Vicarage Road.  15 points: Troy Deeney is still suffering from karma after his Arsenal 'cojones' jibes, and is benched following his shocking miss at Vicarage Road.  25 points: Dean Whitehead comes on to make another Premier League appearance, as the worst farewell tour in sporting history continues.  Manchester City vs Tottenham (Saturday, 5.30pm) 5 points: Spurs come closer than any side to stopping the City juggernaut, but the hosts prevail 3-2 to record their 16th consecutive league victory. 15 points: There are more handbags in the tunnel, but this time City's one-way glass hospitality gives the nation the perfect view of flying milk.  25 points: Mauricio Pochettino reminds Pep Guardiola of his frequent failure to 'be a gentleman' after victories, cementing his credentials as a future Man Utd manager.  West Brom vs Man Utd (Sunday, 2.15pm) 5 points: Jose Mourinho's side continue to give a passable impression of title challengers with another comfortable win.  15 points: Romelu Lukaku scores against one of his former clubs, and refuses to celebrate out of 'respect'.  Romelu Lukaku scores but betrays no emotion out of enduring respect for the Brummie Road End Credit: Martin Rickett/PA Wire 25 points: Alan Pardew claims that he would be Man Utd manager now if Steven Gerrard had not denied his West Ham team the 2006 FA Cup.  Bournemouth vs Liverpool (Sunday, 4.30pm) 5 points: These two serve up another entertaining game after last season's 4-3 but Liverpool have to be content with a third straight draw.  15 points: Liverpool's Fab Four continue their mini-dip, and are closer to Gerry and the Pacemakers than John, Paul, George and Ringo on current form.   Philippe Coutinho (front), Sadio Mane, Mo Salah and Roberto Firmino (back) wonder how do you do what you do to them, they wished they knew ... Credit: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images 25 points: Eddie Howe offers to give Jurgen Klopp some lessons in good manners after the Liverpool manager's tete-a-tete with a Sky Sports reporter.  Everton vs Swansea (Monday, 8pm) 5 points: Sam Allardyce masterminds another Everton win but it is not resounding enough to reinstate Christmas.  15 points: Gylfi Sigurdsson's pinpoint set-piece delivery is a cruel reminder of what Swansea fans could have won.  Renato Sanches does what he does best this season Credit: Athena Pictures/Getty Images 25 points: Paul Clement puts his faith in Renato Sanches by giving him a more prominent role - he gets to put the cones out for the pre-match warm up. 

Premier League Bingo: How many points can you pick up from this weekend's action? 

Leicester City vs Crystal Palace (Saturday, 12.30pm) 5 points: Leicester move to within a point of Arsenal with a convincing 3-1 home victory.  15 points: Shinji Okazaki confirms his status as one of the Premier League's unsung heroes with a goal and an assist. If only he had a fancy foreign name... 25 points: Crystal Palace fans embrace Christian Benteke's new-found role as 'pantomine villain' and shout 'he's behind you!' rather than man-on.  Arsenal vs Newcastle United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: The home side jump back up to fifth with a 3-0 win over a lifeless Newcastle outfit. 15 points: Jack Wilshere is named on the substitutes' bench and the first cry of 'SOOOOPPPAA, SUUUPPAAA, JACK' is heard from the North Bank two minutes into the game.  Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's 'SooopppaJack' Credit: Robbie Jay Barratt - AMA/Getty Images 25 points: There is a huge cheer when the half-time scores are read out and Arsenal fans hear that rivals Burnley are behind at Brighton.  Brighton vs Burnley (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Both teams score from a corner in a hard-fought draw.  15 points: Burnley will still have scored fewer goals than games played by the full-time whistle.  Sean Dyche - one disc beard, one vision Credit: Martin Rickett/PA 25 points: Glenn Murray is the only person at the Amex with a more elaborate foreign co-ordinated anti-British conspiracy theory than Sean Dyche. Chelsea vs Southampton (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Inconsistent Southampton once again flatter to deceive as Eden Hazard scores twice in a home win.  15 points: Charlie Austin is flagged offside at least six times.  25 points: David Luiz watches from the stands once again and wonders if he could book a flight back to Brazil for Christmas.  It's going to be a cold, cold Christmas, without Lu Credit: PETER CZIBORRA/Action Images Stoke City vs West Ham United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: West Ham continue their resurgence as Marko Arnautovic's goal against his former employers earns them a 2-1 win at the bet365 Stadium.  15 points: David Moyes puts the final nail in Mark Hughes's Stoke coffin, so that Hughes is free to eventually replace Moyes before Moyes eventually takes the Stoke job. That's how this works, right? Moyes hands on misery to Hughes Credit: REUTERS/Toby Melville 25 points: Michail Antonio collapses to the turf in exhaustion after 70 minutes again, and is replaced by an inanimate carbon rod.  Watford vs Huddersfield (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Huddersfield's alarming away record continues as they ship another four goals at Vicarage Road.  15 points: Troy Deeney is still suffering from karma after his Arsenal 'cojones' jibes, and is benched following his shocking miss at Vicarage Road.  25 points: Dean Whitehead comes on to make another Premier League appearance, as the worst farewell tour in sporting history continues.  Manchester City vs Tottenham (Saturday, 5.30pm) 5 points: Spurs come closer than any side to stopping the City juggernaut, but the hosts prevail 3-2 to record their 16th consecutive league victory. 15 points: There are more handbags in the tunnel, but this time City's one-way glass hospitality gives the nation the perfect view of flying milk.  25 points: Mauricio Pochettino reminds Pep Guardiola of his frequent failure to 'be a gentleman' after victories, cementing his credentials as a future Man Utd manager.  West Brom vs Man Utd (Sunday, 2.15pm) 5 points: Jose Mourinho's side continue to give a passable impression of title challengers with another comfortable win.  15 points: Romelu Lukaku scores against one of his former clubs, and refuses to celebrate out of 'respect'.  Romelu Lukaku scores but betrays no emotion out of enduring respect for the Brummie Road End Credit: Martin Rickett/PA Wire 25 points: Alan Pardew claims that he would be Man Utd manager now if Steven Gerrard had not denied his West Ham team the 2006 FA Cup.  Bournemouth vs Liverpool (Sunday, 4.30pm) 5 points: These two serve up another entertaining game after last season's 4-3 but Liverpool have to be content with a third straight draw.  15 points: Liverpool's Fab Four continue their mini-dip, and are closer to Gerry and the Pacemakers than John, Paul, George and Ringo on current form.   Philippe Coutinho (front), Sadio Mane, Mo Salah and Roberto Firmino (back) wonder how do you do what you do to them, they wished they knew ... Credit: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images 25 points: Eddie Howe offers to give Jurgen Klopp some lessons in good manners after the Liverpool manager's tete-a-tete with a Sky Sports reporter.  Everton vs Swansea (Monday, 8pm) 5 points: Sam Allardyce masterminds another Everton win but it is not resounding enough to reinstate Christmas.  15 points: Gylfi Sigurdsson's pinpoint set-piece delivery is a cruel reminder of what Swansea fans could have won.  Renato Sanches does what he does best this season Credit: Athena Pictures/Getty Images 25 points: Paul Clement puts his faith in Renato Sanches by giving him a more prominent role - he gets to put the cones out for the pre-match warm up. 

Premier League Bingo: How many points can you pick up from this weekend's action? 

Leicester City vs Crystal Palace (Saturday, 12.30pm) 5 points: Leicester move to within a point of Arsenal with a convincing 3-1 home victory.  15 points: Shinji Okazaki confirms his status as one of the Premier League's unsung heroes with a goal and an assist. If only he had a fancy foreign name... 25 points: Crystal Palace fans embrace Christian Benteke's new-found role as 'pantomine villain' and shout 'he's behind you!' rather than man-on.  Arsenal vs Newcastle United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: The home side jump back up to fifth with a 3-0 win over a lifeless Newcastle outfit. 15 points: Jack Wilshere is named on the substitutes' bench and the first cry of 'SOOOOPPPAA, SUUUPPAAA, JACK' is heard from the North Bank two minutes into the game.  Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's 'SooopppaJack' Credit: Robbie Jay Barratt - AMA/Getty Images 25 points: There is a huge cheer when the half-time scores are read out and Arsenal fans hear that rivals Burnley are behind at Brighton.  Brighton vs Burnley (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Both teams score from a corner in a hard-fought draw.  15 points: Burnley will still have scored fewer goals than games played by the full-time whistle.  Sean Dyche - one disc beard, one vision Credit: Martin Rickett/PA 25 points: Glenn Murray is the only person at the Amex with a more elaborate foreign co-ordinated anti-British conspiracy theory than Sean Dyche. Chelsea vs Southampton (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Inconsistent Southampton once again flatter to deceive as Eden Hazard scores twice in a home win.  15 points: Charlie Austin is flagged offside at least six times.  25 points: David Luiz watches from the stands once again and wonders if he could book a flight back to Brazil for Christmas.  It's going to be a cold, cold Christmas, without Lu Credit: PETER CZIBORRA/Action Images Stoke City vs West Ham United (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: West Ham continue their resurgence as Marko Arnautovic's goal against his former employers earns them a 2-1 win at the bet365 Stadium.  15 points: David Moyes puts the final nail in Mark Hughes's Stoke coffin, so that Hughes is free to eventually replace Moyes before Moyes eventually takes the Stoke job. That's how this works, right? Moyes hands on misery to Hughes Credit: REUTERS/Toby Melville 25 points: Michail Antonio collapses to the turf in exhaustion after 70 minutes again, and is replaced by an inanimate carbon rod.  Watford vs Huddersfield (Saturday, 3pm) 5 points: Huddersfield's alarming away record continues as they ship another four goals at Vicarage Road.  15 points: Troy Deeney is still suffering from karma after his Arsenal 'cojones' jibes, and is benched following his shocking miss at Vicarage Road.  25 points: Dean Whitehead comes on to make another Premier League appearance, as the worst farewell tour in sporting history continues.  Manchester City vs Tottenham (Saturday, 5.30pm) 5 points: Spurs come closer than any side to stopping the City juggernaut, but the hosts prevail 3-2 to record their 16th consecutive league victory. 15 points: There are more handbags in the tunnel, but this time City's one-way glass hospitality gives the nation the perfect view of flying milk.  25 points: Mauricio Pochettino reminds Pep Guardiola of his frequent failure to 'be a gentleman' after victories, cementing his credentials as a future Man Utd manager.  West Brom vs Man Utd (Sunday, 2.15pm) 5 points: Jose Mourinho's side continue to give a passable impression of title challengers with another comfortable win.  15 points: Romelu Lukaku scores against one of his former clubs, and refuses to celebrate out of 'respect'.  Romelu Lukaku scores but betrays no emotion out of enduring respect for the Brummie Road End Credit: Martin Rickett/PA Wire 25 points: Alan Pardew claims that he would be Man Utd manager now if Steven Gerrard had not denied his West Ham team the 2006 FA Cup.  Bournemouth vs Liverpool (Sunday, 4.30pm) 5 points: These two serve up another entertaining game after last season's 4-3 but Liverpool have to be content with a third straight draw.  15 points: Liverpool's Fab Four continue their mini-dip, and are closer to Gerry and the Pacemakers than John, Paul, George and Ringo on current form.   Philippe Coutinho (front), Sadio Mane, Mo Salah and Roberto Firmino (back) wonder how do you do what you do to them, they wished they knew ... Credit: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images 25 points: Eddie Howe offers to give Jurgen Klopp some lessons in good manners after the Liverpool manager's tete-a-tete with a Sky Sports reporter.  Everton vs Swansea (Monday, 8pm) 5 points: Sam Allardyce masterminds another Everton win but it is not resounding enough to reinstate Christmas.  15 points: Gylfi Sigurdsson's pinpoint set-piece delivery is a cruel reminder of what Swansea fans could have won.  Renato Sanches does what he does best this season Credit: Athena Pictures/Getty Images 25 points: Paul Clement puts his faith in Renato Sanches by giving him a more prominent role - he gets to put the cones out for the pre-match warm up. 

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