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Ireland slideshow

FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain - March 17, 2018 Ireland head coach Joe Schmidt during the warm up before the match REUTERS/Toby Melville
FILE PHOTO: Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland
FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain - March 17, 2018 Ireland head coach Joe Schmidt during the warm up before the match REUTERS/Toby Melville
FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain - March 17, 2018 England’s Owen Farrell applauds the fans at the end of the match Action Images via Reuters/Andrew Boyers
Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland
FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain - March 17, 2018 England’s Owen Farrell applauds the fans at the end of the match Action Images via Reuters/Andrew Boyers
FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain - March 17, 2018 Ireland head coach Joe Schmidt during the warm up before the match REUTERS/Toby Melville
Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland
FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain - March 17, 2018 Ireland head coach Joe Schmidt during the warm up before the match REUTERS/Toby Melville
Saturday 5 May Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? ITV, 9.15pm Judith Keppel winning, the Coughing Major cheating, Chris Tarrant smirking – for a brief period at the turn of the century Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? was the hottest programme on TV. One episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers and the show went on to inspire a bestselling novel, Q&A, which in turn became Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s 2008 Oscar-winning film. In truth, the quiz series only left TV screens four years ago, but it’s the heady early years that ITV is clearly hoping to repeat with this new version to commemorate the 20th anniversaryof the programme. So, what can we expect? It will air every night this week, and there’s a new host, Jeremy Clarkson, who’s roaring in to replace Tarrant. The old lifeline favourites – Phone a Friend, Ask the Audience and 50/50 – remain in place, although ITV have confirmed that there will be a fourth – Ask the Host. Contestants will also be allowed to set their own safety net, traditionally £32,000, once they reach question five. But is it possible for this version to capture the public’s imagination in these days of peak TV? One thing is certain: Clarkson has just the right amount of cocky charm to make a go of it as host. Sarah Hughes Happy Tent Tales CBeebies iPlayer,from today The BBC’s preschool series of live-action folk tales continues with five traditional stories presented by Karina O’Malley. There’s Welsh fairy tale The Golden Harp, traditional Scottish fable The Eagle and the Wren, and a lovely take on one of Aesop’s best, The Fox and the Crow. Rugby Union: Army v Navy Sky Sports Arena, 2.45pm Twickenham is the setting as the two Armed Forces compete for the Babcock trophy. Women’s FA Cup Football: Arsenal Women v Chelsea Ladies BBC One, 5.10pm Arsenal Women take on Chelsea Ladies in the final of the FA Cup, which takes place at Wembley Stadium. Fourteen-time winners Arsenal overcame Everton Ladies 2-1 in their semi-final, while Chelsea defeated the holders Manchester City 2-0. This match is a repeat of the 2016 fixture, in which the Gunners emerged victorious 1-0, thanks to Danielle Carter’s early strike. Beatles Night Sky Arts, from 6.00pm Sky Arts celebrates all things Fab Four with films tracing The Beatles from their humble beginnings to the heady heights of becoming the most famous pop band in the world. First up is My Beatles Black Album with Charles Hazlewood, in which the composer creates a mix of solo tracks by members of the band. The Beatles: From Liverpool to San Francisco then charts the band from their days playing in the Cavern Club to their US success. That’s followed by Ben Lewis’s recent The Beatles, Hippies & Hells Angels which looks at the rise and fall of their multimedia arm Apple Corps. SH Britain’s Got Talent ITV, 8.00pm With two golden buzzer acts already through to the live semi-finals, the fourth round of auditions heats up as more hopefuls strive to impress Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm It’s time to uncover Britain’s “Most Regency” town – and if eager Georgette Heyer fans were about to shout Bath, you are wrong. The answer, it turns out, is Cheltenham. Alice Roberts learns about Regency etiquette and uncovers why the pigeon is so important to the spa town. Casualty BBC One, 9.15pm Fans of the long-running medical drama get a treat here as the magnificently icy consultant Connie Beauchamp (Amanda Mealing) returns to work and instantly begins to reassert her authority. Elsewhere, doctor Ethan (George Rainsford) gets a shock when he visits the spot where his brother was murdered. The Great Rameses: New Evidence Revealed Channel 5, 10.10pm Channel 5’s latest series is a pretty straightforward but interesting-enough trawl through Ancient Egyptian history. The series begins with the story of Rameses II, who defeated the Hittites and was subsequently declared a living god by his people. SH Casablanca (1942, b/w) ★★★★★ ITV3, 3.00pm Humphrey Bogart’s Rick runs the American Bar in the eponymous Moroccan city, while Ingrid Bergman is the old flame who forces him to choose between his own heart and the fight against Nazism. Seventy six years on, Michael Curtiz’s Oscar-winning romantic drama is still a film to make the spirit soar; its finely drawn characters, quotable dialogue and haunting music have become iconic. Kajaki (2014) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 10.00pm; N Ireland, 11.00pm This tense film from Paul Katis tells the true story of British soldiers trapped in a mine-laden riverbed in Afghanistan. It not only convinces with its gory effects, but also with the agony each mine inflicts, and the delirium added when each man doses up with morphine: the acting from a uniformly strong ensemble cast, including Game of Thrones’s Mark Stanley, puts you right there. Sex and the City 2 (2010) ★★☆☆☆ ITV, 10.35pm SatC stalwarts will want a bite of this second film from the Big Apple franchise, but New York City is no more as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and friends head to Abu Dhabi. The fashion is outrageous, there’s a gay wedding with a swan, and Liza Minnelli does Beyoncé, but the whole thing is culturally insensitive and the women morph into cartoon characters. Turn off your brain and enjoy spending time with these old friends. Sunday 6 May Benoit Blin, Tom Allen, Liam Charles and Cherish Finden. Credit: Channel 4 Bake Off: The Professionals Channel 4, 8.00pm Completing the trifecta of Great British Bake Off shows that have switched from the BBC to Channel 4 is this competition for professional pâtissiers, formerly called Crème de la Crème. The six-part contest has wisely retained judges Benoit Blin and Cherish Finden, and hired new hosts in comedian Tom Allen and newcomer Liam Charles, who appeared in last year’s Bake Off. The format sees 12 teams of two pastry chefs compete in confectionery wars, beginning with the first half dozen. They’re tasked with making 24 tartes aux fruits and 24 tartes conversations [a sort of French Bakewell tart] followed by a show-stopping edible structure based on a Black Forest gâteau. The tension spikes as temperatures rise inside Firle Place in East Sussex, where it’s filmed – sweltering heat leads to high drama when contestants’ chocolate sculptures look in danger of toppling over. The appeal of the contest is in the staggering quality of the complicated pastries and edible works of art that the chefs turn out, which understandably knock the offerings of Bake Off’s amateurs into a cocked hat. And judges Blin and Finden are as theatrical as they are hard to please. This results in a scrumptious hour of food fetishism. Vicki Power Premier League Football: Chelsea v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 3.30pm Having won their last four games, Chelsea go into this match against third-placed Liverpool in good form. The Blues’ defence will have to be at its best, though: in Mohamed Salah, Liverpool have the most dangerous attacker in the league, and he’ll relish the opportunity to score against the club that sold him to Roma in 2016. When these sides met at Anfield, an 85th-minute goal from Willian ensured Chelsea salvaged a 1-1 draw. The Big Painting Challenge BBC One, 6.00pm It’s the final of this uplifting painting contest for amateurs, and the quartet of finalists relocate to Chatham Dockyards, where they must paint self-portraits. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm The arrival of the circus to Corfu provides the magic to bring Louisa (Keeley Hawes) and the recently separated Spiro (Alexis Georgoulis) ever closer in an emotional final episode of this beguiling drama. In fact, all of the Durrells have relationship upheavals, teeing up the action nicely for a fourth series. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Wilkie Collins’s Gothic thriller continues to compel in this fresh adaptation. In the penultimate episode, the women continue to suffer – clued-up Marian (Jessie Buckley) still has fever, rendering her unable to save her clueless half-sister Laura (Olivia Vinall) from the big twist we all know is coming. Ballet’s Dark Knight: Sir Kenneth MacMillan BBC Four, 9.00pm Darcey Bussell and Monica Mason are among the ballet stars who pay tribute to the choreographer Kenneth MacMillan in this excellent new biopic. Bussell, who worked with him at the age of 19, recalls how hard he pushed his dancers: “Nothing was ever good enough.” With contributions from MacMillan’s widow, Australian artist Deborah Williams, the documentary celebrates how the former artistic director of the Royal Ballet transformed ballet from polite pirouetting to a gritty, sexy art form. Michael Clark’s To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song BBC Four, 10.00pm Filmed at the Barbican in 2017, maverick choreographer Michael Clark’s acclaimed To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song is a mesmerising three-act piece in which he pays tribute to his greatest influences: punk music, Erik Satie and David Bowie. It is introduced here by Jarvis Cocker. VP Walter Presents: Tabula Rasa Channel 4, 10.15pm Belgium gives the Nordic lands a run for their money with another top-notch TV thriller. This nine-parter follows Mie D’Haeze (Veerle Baetens), an amnesiac psychiatric patient who finds she’s been implicated in a missing persons case. Her disturbed mind makes sorting the truth from fantasy virtually impossible. VP Megamind (2010) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 2.30pm DreamWorks’ fun tale of a Mekon-like, inept baddie is weird and witty. Directed by Tom McGrath, who was behind Madagascar, Will Ferrell leads voice duties, with funny turns from David Cross as his deputy, Minion, and Brad Pitt as his vain, buff, Aryan nemesis, the perpetually victorious Metro Man. An amusing quirk of Megamind’s is his affected pronunciation – he pronounces Metro City to rhyme with atrocity. The Boxtrolls (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 2.50pm There’s a cheerfully grotesque streak to this Oscar-winning stop-motion animation from the makers of Coraline and ParaNorman. In the town of Cheesebridge, a human boy raised by boxtrolls – trash-collecting creatures who live under the sewers wearing cardboard boxes – vows to save them from a villainous pest exterminator. It’s an endearing set-up and the carnival feel should please both adults and children. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 6.10pm The denouement to Peter Jackson’s grandiose adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s epic is the one that scooped an Oscar. Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) arrive at Mount Doom to destroy the Ring, both helped and hindered by the loathsome Gollum. Jackson’s only misjudgement is that the film meanders on for around half an hour after the real action is over. Bank Holiday Monday Peter Kay and Sian Gibson Credit: BBC Peter Kay’s Car Share Unscripted BBC One, 10.00pm The emergence of this improvised episode and the official climax to Peter Kay’s sitcom (airing next Bank Holiday Monday) is a treat for all sorts of reasons. Firstly, it would seem to allay concerns prompted by the comedian’s sudden cancellation of an extensive stand-up tour late last year. Secondly, it may offer closure to the many viewers left distraught by the cliffhanger ending to the second series, which saw straight-talking, outwardly stern John (Kay) fail to respond to the declaration of love proffered by co-worker and unsinkable romantic Kayleigh (Sian Gibson). And thirdly, it will mean one more hour in the company of these two beautifully drawn characters who felt like old friends from the moment they first appeared on our screens in 2015. This opening salvo sees Kay and Gibson ad-libbing in character, attempting to corpse each other with a ruthless lack of professionalism as John and Kayleigh drive home on their daily commute in John’s Fiat 500, their only company being the cheesy oldies radio station Forever FM. Don’t expect resolutions yet; instead, sit back and enjoy two fine performers rustling comic magic up out of thin air. Gabriel Tate The £100k Drop Channel 4, 4.00pm It has a new teatime slot and a 10th of the previous prize money, but Davina McCall is still in situ for this entertaining game show of general knowledge and playing the odds. Tenko True Entertainment, 6.00pm The classic BBC drama set in a Japanese POW camp for British, Dutch and Australian women interned after the fall of Singapore in 1942 is being aired every weeknight at 6.00pm. It’s unflinching in its explorations of friendship, sexuality and the degradations of war. Danceworks: The Dying Swan BBC Four, 7.30pm Beginning four consecutive nights of films exploring the world of British dance today, former Royal Ballet principal Zenaida Yanowsky explores the physical toll of her career as she attempts one final post-surgery comeback. Dispatches: Britain’s Benefits Crisis Channel 4, 7.30pm Morland Sanders investigates the Government’s roll-out of the Universal Credit scheme. It is ostensibly aimed at simplifying the benefits system but instead it is dogged by controversy, cuts to provisions and administrative glitches. ATP Masters Tennis: The Mutua Madrid Open Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm It’s the opening day of play in the clay-court tournament at the Caja Magica, where world number one and home favourite Rafael Nadal – in formidable form – is the event’s reigning champion. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Fiona Seres’s impressively sustained exploration of brutal, brittle masculinity and the stout resistance of their intended victims reaches a gripping climax as Lura (Olivia Vinall) and Marian (Jessie Buckley) strike back against the devious Fosco (Riccardo Scamarcio) and thuggish Sir Percival (Dougray Scott). The Road to Palmyra BBC Four, 9.00pm Ebullient historian Dan Cruickshank and wry photographer Don McCullin make an odd couple, yet their journey through a ravaged Syria casts new light on both the conflict as well as what the material and spiritual costs will be for future generations. GT Genderquake Channel 4, 9.00pm This gimmicky but occasionally enlightening TV experiment puts 11 strangers with different attitudes towards gender and sexuality in a house together for a week: prejudices are aired, preconceptions challenged and romances kindled. It concludes on Tuesday with further revelations and realisations, as well as a debate on the issues raised at 10.00pm. GT Forrest Gump (1994) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 9.00pm Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama is full of spirit – even if, at times, it’s slightly saccharine. Forrest (Tom Hanks) is a simpleton with a heart of gold, who, ever true to the homely advice of his mother (Sally Field) is reflecting on his improbable life as a Vietnam War hero, table-tennis champion and accidental millionaire. Hanks, depending on your sentimentality threshold, may prove to be adorable. Notting Hill (1999) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.20pm This is the second of Richard Curtis’s romcoms, after Four Weddings and a Funeral, about bumbling good eggs and frightfully pretty girls. Hugh Grant plays a London bookseller who attracts the attention of a film star (Julia Roberts) – it’s amusing, in particular when Grant’s character ineptly poses as a journalist from Horse & Hound magazine at a press junket for her sci-fi movie. Papillon (1973) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 11.00pm Based on the autobiography of petty criminal Henri Charrière – nicknamed Papillon because of his butterfly tattoo – this powerful prison drama is set in the infamous French penal colony Devil’s Island. Steve McQueen impressively stars as the title character, desperate to escape Devil’s Island’s gruesome brutality. Dustin Hoffman gives memorable support as his friend, the small-time fraudster Louis Dega. Tuesday 8 May Inspirational: Kate Humble with Emma and some alpacas Credit: BBC Back to the Land with Kate Humble BBC Two, 7.00pm There aren’t many TV shows that merit the word “inspirational” but Kate Humble’s series looking at the lives and work of entrepreneurial countryside pioneers around the UK does. Here she returns for another 12-part run, beginning by visiting four new start-ups in Cornwall which were prompted by a perceived gap in the market. Her clear favourites – she returns again and again to check on their progress – are free-diving seaweed harvesters Caro and Tim. This sustainability-aware pair were looking to work locally when they realised that, despite seaweed becoming more fashionable as a cooking ingredient, no one was harvesting the plentiful supply in the sea near them. Much hard work and ingenuity later, it’s an unlikely business idea that looks set to be a winner. Humble also meets a couple who reversed their farm’s declining fortunes by taking a leap of faith into free-range duck breeding, two best friends who supply native-flower bouquets to Cornwall’s booming high-end wedding market and a lavishly bearded brewer whose wild foraging in the local fields and hedgerows supplies the ingredients for his uniquely flavoured “wild” beers. Gerard O’Donovan Danceworks: Street to Stage BBC Four, 7.30pm Rising British star Dickson Mbi displays a range of talents in this film following him and his hip-hop popping team, Fiya House, competing in an international street dance competition. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm The Eurovision song contest circus kicks off tonight in Lisbon with the first semi-final featuring 19 countries (including Ireland) of the record-equalling 43 competing this year. UK fans have to wait for Saturday’s Grand Final to hear SuRie sing our entry, Storm. The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds Channel 4, 8.00pm The first in a two-part special exploring how children learn the difference between right and wrong, as another class of five-year-olds are challenged to decide if it’s OK to cheat and what to do when someone tells you a secret. Abandoned Engineering Yesterday, 8.00pm The series exploring mysterious abandoned buildings returns for a second series. This week, a vast labyrinth of crumbling tunnels, bunkers and towers in northern Poland, once a cutting-edge oil refinery, reveals its former role as a pivotal part of Hitler’s war machine. GO The Split BBC One, 9.00pm Abi Morgan’s legal drama hurries on apace with further revelations drawing us deeper into the lives of Hannah (Nicola Walker) and her dysfunctional family of lawyers. Tonight, things get heated in a case involving frozen embryos, and matriarch Ruth (Deborah Findlay) is evasive over finances. Later Live: with Jools Holland BBC Two, 10.00pm Returning for a 52nd series, Jools Holland welcomes more acts to play live in studio. Among them are Snow Patrol, Plan B, Bettye Lavette, and rising stars Shame and Jade Bird. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle: The Engagement Interview BBC One, 11.40pm; NI/Wales, 12.05am; Scot, 12.45am In case you won’t catch the endless clips in royal wedding-related programming over the next 10 days, here’s a repeat of the interview the couple gave Mishal Husain at Kensington Palace last year on the day they announced their engagement. GO My Cousin Rachel (2017) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 2.30pm and 11.30pm “Did she? Didn’t she?” ponders stricken hero Philip Ashley about the titular character and the possible murder of her husband/his cousin. This is based on Daphne du Maurier’s 1951 novel, but there was also a film version in 1952, an Eighties BBC version, on radio, and on the stage. Young Philip, the heir to a fortune, is played in Roger Michell’s stylish but sexless adaptation by a rakish Sam Claflin. Hot Fuzz (2007) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s follow-up to the cult comedy-horror Shaun of the Dead (and the second chapter in the Cornetto Trilogy) reunites Pegg with Nick Frost in the story of two policemen who uncover a conspiracy in a Somerset village. Timothy Dalton is a sinister triumph as a millionaire baddy. Sharp, funny and with explosive action scenes, it’s a very British action-comedy that does everything it should. Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice? (1969) ★★★☆☆ Talking Pictures TV, 9.00pm This is the third in a trilogy of Robert Aldrich-produced films (following What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte). It also features two female leads – this time, an Arizona widow (Geraldine Page) hires housekeepers to con them out of their money before murdering them, but Ruth Gordon’s Alice Dimmock isn’t easily fooled. Wednesday 9 May Healthy outlook: Fearnley-Whittingstall with volunteer Janet Credit: BBC Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall BBC One, 9.00pm; Scotland, 10.45pm He tried to get Newcastle exercising together and demonstrated to the unconvinced in Bristol just how much sugar there is in a smoothie, now, in this final episode, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall faces his toughest test of all – he heading to the Tory Party Conference to speak about obesity and attempting to get an audience with Health Minister Jeremy Hunt. But can he convince the ministers – and the hard-to-pin-down Hunt – that they need to do more to combat both national awareness of what we eat and the country’s fitness levels? First, he checks in with some of those who have signed up for the Newcastle Can scheme; heads out for a surfing lesson with Janet, a willing but struggling participant; trials a weight-loss experiment at the GP’s surgery and looks at the way in which marketing affects our understanding of food. Whether or not he manages to replicate the impact that Jamie Oliver had on the government during his school dinners campaign remains to be seen, but this impassioned series will surely have convinced the UK’s couch potatoes that it’s time to embrace the sunnier weather and start walking. Sarah Hughes DanceWorks: Choreographing History BBC Four, 7.30pm “With contemporary dance we don’t inherit ready-made stories, so we have to make up our own,” says choreographer Shobana Jeyasingh in this fascinating film. Jeyasingh’s latest work, Contagion, takes the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic as its subject, and this documentary follows her as she translates her research into a haunting, beautiful piece of work. The Secret Life of the Zoo Channel 4, 8.00pm The fallout from orangutan Emma’s pregnancy continues this week as the new mother pushes away the older child to raise the baby, leaving the zoo staff increasingly worried as to how the abandoned youth will cope. Mystery of the Lost Paintings Sky Arts, 8.00pm This episode examines the 1958 fire at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, which destroyed two of Monet’s famous Water Lily paintings, before attempting to digitally reconstruct one of the damaged works. Love in the Countryside BBC Two, 9.00pm Everything moves up a gear as lovelorn dairy farmers Pete and Ed invite their three prospective partners over for a weekend. Cue early issues as fiftysomethings Helen and Caroline struggle in the face of thirtysomething Frannie’s more obvious assets. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm It’s an emotional finale at the Birmingham Women’s Hospital as we meet Lauren and Rachel, who are preparing for a second child, and Urwah and Nadhia, who are about to meet their fifth. Meanwhile, Laura and Paul, friends turned lovers, have nine kids between them and another on the way. Harry & Meghan: A Love Story Sky One, 9.00pm Bafta-winning film-maker Toby Sculthorp turns his eye to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, talking to close friends and former head of the British Army, Richard Dannatt. SH Tortured By Mum and Dad: The Turpin 13 Channel 5, 10.00pm When 13 children were discovered shackled and starved by their parents, David and Louise Turpin earlier this year, it made global headlines. This documentary returns to the case, asking how the pair managed to hide their terrible secret for so long. A Walk in the Woods (2015) ★★☆☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Robert Redford turns Bill Bryson’s elegant travelogue about his middle-aged attempt on the Appalachian Trail – a 2,000-mile trek through the eastern United States – into a sloppy sitcom. The great American outdoors, however, are shot in picturesque fashion. Nick Nolte and Emma Thompson star as Bryson’s travelling partners, who at least reveal that the human condition is no walk in the park. Scream (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 10.00pm Wes Craven rebooted the teenage-horror genre with Scream. It’s gory, but clever and funny, too, particularly in its own self-awareness: the characters talk constantly about being in a slasher movie. And Craven wrong-foots us with a terrific opening sequence that gleefully breaks the rules of film-making. Courteney Cox and Neve Campbell star. The sequel Scream 2 is on Friday at 11.00pm. I Love You, Man (2009) ★★★★☆ 5STAR, 11.00pm Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. Thursday 10 May Michael C Hall (centre) in Safe Credit: Netflix Safe Netflix, from today For the man who played serial-killing forensics expert Dexter and funeral director David in Six Feet Under, it’s fitting that we first encounter Michael C Hall’s latest deeply flawed antihero, Tom Delaney, by his wife’s grave in this opening set-piece of his new drama. This UK-set eight-parter then skips forward six years, with Tom (Hall’s English accent is pretty passable) managing two teenage daughters, his work as a paediatric surgeon and life in a “safe” gated community. What becomes rapidly clear is that his neighbours are also nursing guilty secrets and haunted by past failures: from best mate Marc Warren and Amanda Abbingdon’s dogged detective to Nigel Lindsay’s jovial life-and-soul type. Then Tom’s oldest daughter goes missing during a house party, and skeletons tumble out of closets in an enjoyably twist-riddled affair. The first collaboration between Safe’s co-creators, bestselling novelist Harlan Coben and screenwriter Danny Brocklehurst (Accused; Ordinary Lies; Come Home), marries the former’s love of a cliffhanger and skill with fast-paced narrative with the latter’s facility for character and emotional insight. Gabriel Tate PGA Tour Golf: The Players Championship Sky Sports the Players, 12.30pm It’s day one of the tournament widely regarded as the unofficial fifth Major, held at TPC Sawgrass in Florida. Last year, Kim Si-Woo, at 21, became the youngest champion in Players history and it was much deserved: his was a nerveless display that belied his young age. Danceworks: Prejudice and Passion BBC Four, 7.30pm Choreographer Carlos Pons Guerra invites the cameras into his latest production for children at the Birmingham Rep, a work challenging assumptions of gender and identity with its story of two male penguins raising a chick together. Premier League Football: West Ham United v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm Looking to secure their safety, relegation-threatened West Ham United welcome Manchester United to the Olympic Stadium. The Hammers will need to banish the memories of their last match against Man United, when Anthony Martial, Paul Pogba and a brace from Romelu Lukaku gave Jose Mourinho’s side a 4-0 win. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm Rylan Clark-Neal and Scott Mills are joined by British Eurovision hopeful SuRie to introduce coverage of the second semi-final from Lisbon, with 10 of the 18 featured acts making it to Saturday’s final. Food Unwrapped: China Special Channel 4, 8.00pm Jimmy Doherty and his team explore artisanal and commercial methods of production for garlic, noodles, soy sauce and fortune cookies. Red Ape: Saving the Orangutan BBC Two, 9.00pm This alarming and frequently harrowing documentary makes direct connections between Borneo’s plummeting orangutan population, the boom in illegal animal trading and rocketing global demand for palm oil, but there are glimmers of hope, due to the ceaseless diligence of local activists. Urban Myths: David Bowie and Marc Bolan Sky Arts, 9.00pm Luke Treadaway and Jack Whitehall star as the teenage David Bowie and Marc Bolan in this by turns silly and oddly poignant comedy of two icons bonding, bickering and dreaming of stardom while earning a crust decorating their manager’s office. GT Riot Girls Channel 4, 10.00pm A gleefully ribald new prank show from the supremely talented and smart quartet of Grace Campbell, Jen Wakefield, Cam Spence and Sophie Duker, using stunts to highlight the casual sexism and gender inequality in society from manspreading on the tube to contraception. It’s as crude as it is funny and effective. Great Art ITV, 10.45pm; not STV Tim Marlow’s admirably unadorned visual arts series returns to profile a man not unscrutinised over the years, but if this pen portrait fails to add much new to the David Hockney story, it’s an efficient and entertaining primer, focusing on his Royal Academy landscape and portraiture exhibitions of 2012 and 2016. GT The Bourne Supremacy (2004) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Continuing the story of Jason Bourne, this sequel sees the former assassin (Matt Damon) living in Goa with his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente) when a Russian assassin arrives to plunge him back into the deep end of a CIA conspiracy. While this is not quite on a par with the first film, Paul Greengrass’s direction is typically exhilarating, and Joan Allen and Brian Cox lend excellent support. Cocktail (1988) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 11.10pm Tom Cruise plays a tequila-tossing barman in this romantic drama which cashed in on his heart-throb image. After leaving the army, Brian (Cruise) gets a job working in a Manhattan bar. His Martini mentor is Doug (Bryan Brown), who soon teaches him the tricks of the trade, but when the pair fall out over a girl, Brian heads for the Caribbean. It’s a bland concoction but strangely agreeable. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) ★★★★☆ Film4, 11.15pm This startling debut by Marielle Heller shows the funny side of a teenager’s explorations into her sexuality as a 15-year-old wannabe cartoonist Minnie (Bel Powley) seduces her mother’s 35-year-old boyfriend Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård). Heller’s nimble direction and clever script ensure that the film never paints either Minnie or Monroe entirely as victim or predator. Friday 11 May Thure Lindhardt and Sofia Helin in The Bridge Credit: BBC The Bridge BBC Two, 9.00pm With the exception perhaps of Wallander, of all the Scandi-noir characters that we’ve seen in recent years it is The Bridge’s Saga Norén (Sofia Helin), a committed Malmö detective with a level of social dysfunction that implies autism, who has burrowed deepest into the hearts of UK viewers. She struggles to cope emotionally with the world around her, but that only makes us like her all the more. When last we saw Saga, at the close of series three two years ago, she had solved another major murder case but stood accused herself of killing her abusive mother. At least she had the consolation of meeting a soulmate of sorts in Henrik Sabroe (Thure Lindhardt), a police colleague from across the Øresund bridge linking Sweden and Denmark, and a man deeply damaged by the murder of his wife and the disappearance of his two young daughters. At the start of this instantly gripping fourth and final series, things are not looking good for Saga as she wakes up in a cold, grey, unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile, Henrik is called to the scene of a particularly grizzly murder in Copenhagen that has a link to the controversial deportation of an Iranian illegal immigrant. Gerard O’Donovan Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist Netflix, from today A bank raid gone wrong, a horrific bomb-collar murder, a cat and mouse hunt by the FBI to track down a former beauty queen turned self-styled criminal. This anticipated documentary picks apart the bizarre story of the so-called “pizza bomber heist” that gripped the city of Erie, Pennsylvania, in 2003. Fifteen years later, the discovery of new evidence suggests that the story could be even more strange. The One Show: NHS Patients Awards Special BBC One, 7.00pm A special edition marking the 70th anniversary of the NHS and celebrating the work of doctors, nurses and medical staff who deliver outstanding care – as nominated by viewers and the Patients Association. Matt Baker and Alex Jones present. BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm Violinist Nicola Benedetti and trumpeter Alison Balsom join presenter Josie D’Arby for the competition’s semi-final, in which five individual category winners – including percussionist Matthew Brett, cellist Maxim Calver and saxophonist Robert Burton – compete for a place in the final. The judges include conductor Jessica Cottis and composer Kerry Andrew. GO Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Krishnan Guru-Murthy reports from the popular tourist resorts of the Dominican Republic, where a UN investigation has uncovered shocking crimes against young people at the hands of sex tourists. Britain’s Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson Channel 5, 8.00pm In the final programme of his excellent series, Tony Robinson recounts the tangled – and entertaining – history of Winchester Cathedral, whose bishops were once among the richest, most influential and worst behaved in Britain – and where one of England’s greatest novelists, Jane Austen, is buried. Portillo’s Hidden History of Britain Channel 5, 9.00pm Bringing his foray to a close, former defence secretary Michael Portillo visits the village of Imber on the Salisbury Plain, which was taken over by the Army in 1943 for use as a wartime training ground and, despite promises to the contrary, still remains in the hands of the military. GO Test Cricket: Ireland v Pakistan Sky Sports Main Event, 11.50pm A historic occasion, this, as Ireland play their first-ever Test match, with Pakistan as the opposition at Malahide Cricket Club. Over the next few years, Ireland will have 60-65 home internationals, including 15 Test matches. Uncapped batsman Imam-ul-Haq, the nephew of former skipper Inzamam, has been named in Pakistan’s squad. Northern Soul (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 11.15pm The nostalgia is potent in this chronicle of the popular northern soul dance halls in the Seventies. The soundtrack is as evocative and wonderful as you might expect, and the drama offers a charming slice of social and cultural Lancashire history. It’s just a shame that the storyline has to follow the same innocent young man led astray/conflict-resolution story arc of nearly every coming-of-age film out there. Buried (2010) ★★★☆☆ BBC One, 11.55pm; N Ireland, 12.25am Ryan Reynolds plays an American truck driver ambushed in Iraq and buried by insurgents in a coffin, with only a phone and a Zippo lighter at his disposal. One might assume the dramatic opportunities for a man in this predicament are finite, but Chris Sparling’s inventive screenplay and Rodrigo Cortés’ direction open up the story beyond the confines of the space in which Reynolds is trapped. The Crying Game (1992) ★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.05am Neil Jordan’s tremendous psychological thriller, set against the backdrop of the Irish Troubles, still contains one of the great cinematic twists. Stephen Rea stars as Provisional IRA volunteer Fergus, who helps to kidnap a British soldier (US actor Forest Whitaker) in order to secure the release of jailed IRA members. However, things go wrong when Fergus begins to form a bond with his prisoner. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
What's on TV today: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Casablanca and more
Saturday 5 May Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? ITV, 9.15pm Judith Keppel winning, the Coughing Major cheating, Chris Tarrant smirking – for a brief period at the turn of the century Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? was the hottest programme on TV. One episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers and the show went on to inspire a bestselling novel, Q&A, which in turn became Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s 2008 Oscar-winning film. In truth, the quiz series only left TV screens four years ago, but it’s the heady early years that ITV is clearly hoping to repeat with this new version to commemorate the 20th anniversaryof the programme. So, what can we expect? It will air every night this week, and there’s a new host, Jeremy Clarkson, who’s roaring in to replace Tarrant. The old lifeline favourites – Phone a Friend, Ask the Audience and 50/50 – remain in place, although ITV have confirmed that there will be a fourth – Ask the Host. Contestants will also be allowed to set their own safety net, traditionally £32,000, once they reach question five. But is it possible for this version to capture the public’s imagination in these days of peak TV? One thing is certain: Clarkson has just the right amount of cocky charm to make a go of it as host. Sarah Hughes Happy Tent Tales CBeebies iPlayer,from today The BBC’s preschool series of live-action folk tales continues with five traditional stories presented by Karina O’Malley. There’s Welsh fairy tale The Golden Harp, traditional Scottish fable The Eagle and the Wren, and a lovely take on one of Aesop’s best, The Fox and the Crow. Rugby Union: Army v Navy Sky Sports Arena, 2.45pm Twickenham is the setting as the two Armed Forces compete for the Babcock trophy. Women’s FA Cup Football: Arsenal Women v Chelsea Ladies BBC One, 5.10pm Arsenal Women take on Chelsea Ladies in the final of the FA Cup, which takes place at Wembley Stadium. Fourteen-time winners Arsenal overcame Everton Ladies 2-1 in their semi-final, while Chelsea defeated the holders Manchester City 2-0. This match is a repeat of the 2016 fixture, in which the Gunners emerged victorious 1-0, thanks to Danielle Carter’s early strike. Beatles Night Sky Arts, from 6.00pm Sky Arts celebrates all things Fab Four with films tracing The Beatles from their humble beginnings to the heady heights of becoming the most famous pop band in the world. First up is My Beatles Black Album with Charles Hazlewood, in which the composer creates a mix of solo tracks by members of the band. The Beatles: From Liverpool to San Francisco then charts the band from their days playing in the Cavern Club to their US success. That’s followed by Ben Lewis’s recent The Beatles, Hippies & Hells Angels which looks at the rise and fall of their multimedia arm Apple Corps. SH Britain’s Got Talent ITV, 8.00pm With two golden buzzer acts already through to the live semi-finals, the fourth round of auditions heats up as more hopefuls strive to impress Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm It’s time to uncover Britain’s “Most Regency” town – and if eager Georgette Heyer fans were about to shout Bath, you are wrong. The answer, it turns out, is Cheltenham. Alice Roberts learns about Regency etiquette and uncovers why the pigeon is so important to the spa town. Casualty BBC One, 9.15pm Fans of the long-running medical drama get a treat here as the magnificently icy consultant Connie Beauchamp (Amanda Mealing) returns to work and instantly begins to reassert her authority. Elsewhere, doctor Ethan (George Rainsford) gets a shock when he visits the spot where his brother was murdered. The Great Rameses: New Evidence Revealed Channel 5, 10.10pm Channel 5’s latest series is a pretty straightforward but interesting-enough trawl through Ancient Egyptian history. The series begins with the story of Rameses II, who defeated the Hittites and was subsequently declared a living god by his people. SH Casablanca (1942, b/w) ★★★★★ ITV3, 3.00pm Humphrey Bogart’s Rick runs the American Bar in the eponymous Moroccan city, while Ingrid Bergman is the old flame who forces him to choose between his own heart and the fight against Nazism. Seventy six years on, Michael Curtiz’s Oscar-winning romantic drama is still a film to make the spirit soar; its finely drawn characters, quotable dialogue and haunting music have become iconic. Kajaki (2014) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 10.00pm; N Ireland, 11.00pm This tense film from Paul Katis tells the true story of British soldiers trapped in a mine-laden riverbed in Afghanistan. It not only convinces with its gory effects, but also with the agony each mine inflicts, and the delirium added when each man doses up with morphine: the acting from a uniformly strong ensemble cast, including Game of Thrones’s Mark Stanley, puts you right there. Sex and the City 2 (2010) ★★☆☆☆ ITV, 10.35pm SatC stalwarts will want a bite of this second film from the Big Apple franchise, but New York City is no more as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and friends head to Abu Dhabi. The fashion is outrageous, there’s a gay wedding with a swan, and Liza Minnelli does Beyoncé, but the whole thing is culturally insensitive and the women morph into cartoon characters. Turn off your brain and enjoy spending time with these old friends. Sunday 6 May Benoit Blin, Tom Allen, Liam Charles and Cherish Finden. Credit: Channel 4 Bake Off: The Professionals Channel 4, 8.00pm Completing the trifecta of Great British Bake Off shows that have switched from the BBC to Channel 4 is this competition for professional pâtissiers, formerly called Crème de la Crème. The six-part contest has wisely retained judges Benoit Blin and Cherish Finden, and hired new hosts in comedian Tom Allen and newcomer Liam Charles, who appeared in last year’s Bake Off. The format sees 12 teams of two pastry chefs compete in confectionery wars, beginning with the first half dozen. They’re tasked with making 24 tartes aux fruits and 24 tartes conversations [a sort of French Bakewell tart] followed by a show-stopping edible structure based on a Black Forest gâteau. The tension spikes as temperatures rise inside Firle Place in East Sussex, where it’s filmed – sweltering heat leads to high drama when contestants’ chocolate sculptures look in danger of toppling over. The appeal of the contest is in the staggering quality of the complicated pastries and edible works of art that the chefs turn out, which understandably knock the offerings of Bake Off’s amateurs into a cocked hat. And judges Blin and Finden are as theatrical as they are hard to please. This results in a scrumptious hour of food fetishism. Vicki Power Premier League Football: Chelsea v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 3.30pm Having won their last four games, Chelsea go into this match against third-placed Liverpool in good form. The Blues’ defence will have to be at its best, though: in Mohamed Salah, Liverpool have the most dangerous attacker in the league, and he’ll relish the opportunity to score against the club that sold him to Roma in 2016. When these sides met at Anfield, an 85th-minute goal from Willian ensured Chelsea salvaged a 1-1 draw. The Big Painting Challenge BBC One, 6.00pm It’s the final of this uplifting painting contest for amateurs, and the quartet of finalists relocate to Chatham Dockyards, where they must paint self-portraits. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm The arrival of the circus to Corfu provides the magic to bring Louisa (Keeley Hawes) and the recently separated Spiro (Alexis Georgoulis) ever closer in an emotional final episode of this beguiling drama. In fact, all of the Durrells have relationship upheavals, teeing up the action nicely for a fourth series. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Wilkie Collins’s Gothic thriller continues to compel in this fresh adaptation. In the penultimate episode, the women continue to suffer – clued-up Marian (Jessie Buckley) still has fever, rendering her unable to save her clueless half-sister Laura (Olivia Vinall) from the big twist we all know is coming. Ballet’s Dark Knight: Sir Kenneth MacMillan BBC Four, 9.00pm Darcey Bussell and Monica Mason are among the ballet stars who pay tribute to the choreographer Kenneth MacMillan in this excellent new biopic. Bussell, who worked with him at the age of 19, recalls how hard he pushed his dancers: “Nothing was ever good enough.” With contributions from MacMillan’s widow, Australian artist Deborah Williams, the documentary celebrates how the former artistic director of the Royal Ballet transformed ballet from polite pirouetting to a gritty, sexy art form. Michael Clark’s To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song BBC Four, 10.00pm Filmed at the Barbican in 2017, maverick choreographer Michael Clark’s acclaimed To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song is a mesmerising three-act piece in which he pays tribute to his greatest influences: punk music, Erik Satie and David Bowie. It is introduced here by Jarvis Cocker. VP Walter Presents: Tabula Rasa Channel 4, 10.15pm Belgium gives the Nordic lands a run for their money with another top-notch TV thriller. This nine-parter follows Mie D’Haeze (Veerle Baetens), an amnesiac psychiatric patient who finds she’s been implicated in a missing persons case. Her disturbed mind makes sorting the truth from fantasy virtually impossible. VP Megamind (2010) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 2.30pm DreamWorks’ fun tale of a Mekon-like, inept baddie is weird and witty. Directed by Tom McGrath, who was behind Madagascar, Will Ferrell leads voice duties, with funny turns from David Cross as his deputy, Minion, and Brad Pitt as his vain, buff, Aryan nemesis, the perpetually victorious Metro Man. An amusing quirk of Megamind’s is his affected pronunciation – he pronounces Metro City to rhyme with atrocity. The Boxtrolls (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 2.50pm There’s a cheerfully grotesque streak to this Oscar-winning stop-motion animation from the makers of Coraline and ParaNorman. In the town of Cheesebridge, a human boy raised by boxtrolls – trash-collecting creatures who live under the sewers wearing cardboard boxes – vows to save them from a villainous pest exterminator. It’s an endearing set-up and the carnival feel should please both adults and children. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 6.10pm The denouement to Peter Jackson’s grandiose adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s epic is the one that scooped an Oscar. Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) arrive at Mount Doom to destroy the Ring, both helped and hindered by the loathsome Gollum. Jackson’s only misjudgement is that the film meanders on for around half an hour after the real action is over. Bank Holiday Monday Peter Kay and Sian Gibson Credit: BBC Peter Kay’s Car Share Unscripted BBC One, 10.00pm The emergence of this improvised episode and the official climax to Peter Kay’s sitcom (airing next Bank Holiday Monday) is a treat for all sorts of reasons. Firstly, it would seem to allay concerns prompted by the comedian’s sudden cancellation of an extensive stand-up tour late last year. Secondly, it may offer closure to the many viewers left distraught by the cliffhanger ending to the second series, which saw straight-talking, outwardly stern John (Kay) fail to respond to the declaration of love proffered by co-worker and unsinkable romantic Kayleigh (Sian Gibson). And thirdly, it will mean one more hour in the company of these two beautifully drawn characters who felt like old friends from the moment they first appeared on our screens in 2015. This opening salvo sees Kay and Gibson ad-libbing in character, attempting to corpse each other with a ruthless lack of professionalism as John and Kayleigh drive home on their daily commute in John’s Fiat 500, their only company being the cheesy oldies radio station Forever FM. Don’t expect resolutions yet; instead, sit back and enjoy two fine performers rustling comic magic up out of thin air. Gabriel Tate The £100k Drop Channel 4, 4.00pm It has a new teatime slot and a 10th of the previous prize money, but Davina McCall is still in situ for this entertaining game show of general knowledge and playing the odds. Tenko True Entertainment, 6.00pm The classic BBC drama set in a Japanese POW camp for British, Dutch and Australian women interned after the fall of Singapore in 1942 is being aired every weeknight at 6.00pm. It’s unflinching in its explorations of friendship, sexuality and the degradations of war. Danceworks: The Dying Swan BBC Four, 7.30pm Beginning four consecutive nights of films exploring the world of British dance today, former Royal Ballet principal Zenaida Yanowsky explores the physical toll of her career as she attempts one final post-surgery comeback. Dispatches: Britain’s Benefits Crisis Channel 4, 7.30pm Morland Sanders investigates the Government’s roll-out of the Universal Credit scheme. It is ostensibly aimed at simplifying the benefits system but instead it is dogged by controversy, cuts to provisions and administrative glitches. ATP Masters Tennis: The Mutua Madrid Open Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm It’s the opening day of play in the clay-court tournament at the Caja Magica, where world number one and home favourite Rafael Nadal – in formidable form – is the event’s reigning champion. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Fiona Seres’s impressively sustained exploration of brutal, brittle masculinity and the stout resistance of their intended victims reaches a gripping climax as Lura (Olivia Vinall) and Marian (Jessie Buckley) strike back against the devious Fosco (Riccardo Scamarcio) and thuggish Sir Percival (Dougray Scott). The Road to Palmyra BBC Four, 9.00pm Ebullient historian Dan Cruickshank and wry photographer Don McCullin make an odd couple, yet their journey through a ravaged Syria casts new light on both the conflict as well as what the material and spiritual costs will be for future generations. GT Genderquake Channel 4, 9.00pm This gimmicky but occasionally enlightening TV experiment puts 11 strangers with different attitudes towards gender and sexuality in a house together for a week: prejudices are aired, preconceptions challenged and romances kindled. It concludes on Tuesday with further revelations and realisations, as well as a debate on the issues raised at 10.00pm. GT Forrest Gump (1994) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 9.00pm Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama is full of spirit – even if, at times, it’s slightly saccharine. Forrest (Tom Hanks) is a simpleton with a heart of gold, who, ever true to the homely advice of his mother (Sally Field) is reflecting on his improbable life as a Vietnam War hero, table-tennis champion and accidental millionaire. Hanks, depending on your sentimentality threshold, may prove to be adorable. Notting Hill (1999) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.20pm This is the second of Richard Curtis’s romcoms, after Four Weddings and a Funeral, about bumbling good eggs and frightfully pretty girls. Hugh Grant plays a London bookseller who attracts the attention of a film star (Julia Roberts) – it’s amusing, in particular when Grant’s character ineptly poses as a journalist from Horse & Hound magazine at a press junket for her sci-fi movie. Papillon (1973) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 11.00pm Based on the autobiography of petty criminal Henri Charrière – nicknamed Papillon because of his butterfly tattoo – this powerful prison drama is set in the infamous French penal colony Devil’s Island. Steve McQueen impressively stars as the title character, desperate to escape Devil’s Island’s gruesome brutality. Dustin Hoffman gives memorable support as his friend, the small-time fraudster Louis Dega. Tuesday 8 May Inspirational: Kate Humble with Emma and some alpacas Credit: BBC Back to the Land with Kate Humble BBC Two, 7.00pm There aren’t many TV shows that merit the word “inspirational” but Kate Humble’s series looking at the lives and work of entrepreneurial countryside pioneers around the UK does. Here she returns for another 12-part run, beginning by visiting four new start-ups in Cornwall which were prompted by a perceived gap in the market. Her clear favourites – she returns again and again to check on their progress – are free-diving seaweed harvesters Caro and Tim. This sustainability-aware pair were looking to work locally when they realised that, despite seaweed becoming more fashionable as a cooking ingredient, no one was harvesting the plentiful supply in the sea near them. Much hard work and ingenuity later, it’s an unlikely business idea that looks set to be a winner. Humble also meets a couple who reversed their farm’s declining fortunes by taking a leap of faith into free-range duck breeding, two best friends who supply native-flower bouquets to Cornwall’s booming high-end wedding market and a lavishly bearded brewer whose wild foraging in the local fields and hedgerows supplies the ingredients for his uniquely flavoured “wild” beers. Gerard O’Donovan Danceworks: Street to Stage BBC Four, 7.30pm Rising British star Dickson Mbi displays a range of talents in this film following him and his hip-hop popping team, Fiya House, competing in an international street dance competition. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm The Eurovision song contest circus kicks off tonight in Lisbon with the first semi-final featuring 19 countries (including Ireland) of the record-equalling 43 competing this year. UK fans have to wait for Saturday’s Grand Final to hear SuRie sing our entry, Storm. The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds Channel 4, 8.00pm The first in a two-part special exploring how children learn the difference between right and wrong, as another class of five-year-olds are challenged to decide if it’s OK to cheat and what to do when someone tells you a secret. Abandoned Engineering Yesterday, 8.00pm The series exploring mysterious abandoned buildings returns for a second series. This week, a vast labyrinth of crumbling tunnels, bunkers and towers in northern Poland, once a cutting-edge oil refinery, reveals its former role as a pivotal part of Hitler’s war machine. GO The Split BBC One, 9.00pm Abi Morgan’s legal drama hurries on apace with further revelations drawing us deeper into the lives of Hannah (Nicola Walker) and her dysfunctional family of lawyers. Tonight, things get heated in a case involving frozen embryos, and matriarch Ruth (Deborah Findlay) is evasive over finances. Later Live: with Jools Holland BBC Two, 10.00pm Returning for a 52nd series, Jools Holland welcomes more acts to play live in studio. Among them are Snow Patrol, Plan B, Bettye Lavette, and rising stars Shame and Jade Bird. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle: The Engagement Interview BBC One, 11.40pm; NI/Wales, 12.05am; Scot, 12.45am In case you won’t catch the endless clips in royal wedding-related programming over the next 10 days, here’s a repeat of the interview the couple gave Mishal Husain at Kensington Palace last year on the day they announced their engagement. GO My Cousin Rachel (2017) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 2.30pm and 11.30pm “Did she? Didn’t she?” ponders stricken hero Philip Ashley about the titular character and the possible murder of her husband/his cousin. This is based on Daphne du Maurier’s 1951 novel, but there was also a film version in 1952, an Eighties BBC version, on radio, and on the stage. Young Philip, the heir to a fortune, is played in Roger Michell’s stylish but sexless adaptation by a rakish Sam Claflin. Hot Fuzz (2007) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s follow-up to the cult comedy-horror Shaun of the Dead (and the second chapter in the Cornetto Trilogy) reunites Pegg with Nick Frost in the story of two policemen who uncover a conspiracy in a Somerset village. Timothy Dalton is a sinister triumph as a millionaire baddy. Sharp, funny and with explosive action scenes, it’s a very British action-comedy that does everything it should. Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice? (1969) ★★★☆☆ Talking Pictures TV, 9.00pm This is the third in a trilogy of Robert Aldrich-produced films (following What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte). It also features two female leads – this time, an Arizona widow (Geraldine Page) hires housekeepers to con them out of their money before murdering them, but Ruth Gordon’s Alice Dimmock isn’t easily fooled. Wednesday 9 May Healthy outlook: Fearnley-Whittingstall with volunteer Janet Credit: BBC Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall BBC One, 9.00pm; Scotland, 10.45pm He tried to get Newcastle exercising together and demonstrated to the unconvinced in Bristol just how much sugar there is in a smoothie, now, in this final episode, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall faces his toughest test of all – he heading to the Tory Party Conference to speak about obesity and attempting to get an audience with Health Minister Jeremy Hunt. But can he convince the ministers – and the hard-to-pin-down Hunt – that they need to do more to combat both national awareness of what we eat and the country’s fitness levels? First, he checks in with some of those who have signed up for the Newcastle Can scheme; heads out for a surfing lesson with Janet, a willing but struggling participant; trials a weight-loss experiment at the GP’s surgery and looks at the way in which marketing affects our understanding of food. Whether or not he manages to replicate the impact that Jamie Oliver had on the government during his school dinners campaign remains to be seen, but this impassioned series will surely have convinced the UK’s couch potatoes that it’s time to embrace the sunnier weather and start walking. Sarah Hughes DanceWorks: Choreographing History BBC Four, 7.30pm “With contemporary dance we don’t inherit ready-made stories, so we have to make up our own,” says choreographer Shobana Jeyasingh in this fascinating film. Jeyasingh’s latest work, Contagion, takes the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic as its subject, and this documentary follows her as she translates her research into a haunting, beautiful piece of work. The Secret Life of the Zoo Channel 4, 8.00pm The fallout from orangutan Emma’s pregnancy continues this week as the new mother pushes away the older child to raise the baby, leaving the zoo staff increasingly worried as to how the abandoned youth will cope. Mystery of the Lost Paintings Sky Arts, 8.00pm This episode examines the 1958 fire at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, which destroyed two of Monet’s famous Water Lily paintings, before attempting to digitally reconstruct one of the damaged works. Love in the Countryside BBC Two, 9.00pm Everything moves up a gear as lovelorn dairy farmers Pete and Ed invite their three prospective partners over for a weekend. Cue early issues as fiftysomethings Helen and Caroline struggle in the face of thirtysomething Frannie’s more obvious assets. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm It’s an emotional finale at the Birmingham Women’s Hospital as we meet Lauren and Rachel, who are preparing for a second child, and Urwah and Nadhia, who are about to meet their fifth. Meanwhile, Laura and Paul, friends turned lovers, have nine kids between them and another on the way. Harry & Meghan: A Love Story Sky One, 9.00pm Bafta-winning film-maker Toby Sculthorp turns his eye to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, talking to close friends and former head of the British Army, Richard Dannatt. SH Tortured By Mum and Dad: The Turpin 13 Channel 5, 10.00pm When 13 children were discovered shackled and starved by their parents, David and Louise Turpin earlier this year, it made global headlines. This documentary returns to the case, asking how the pair managed to hide their terrible secret for so long. A Walk in the Woods (2015) ★★☆☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Robert Redford turns Bill Bryson’s elegant travelogue about his middle-aged attempt on the Appalachian Trail – a 2,000-mile trek through the eastern United States – into a sloppy sitcom. The great American outdoors, however, are shot in picturesque fashion. Nick Nolte and Emma Thompson star as Bryson’s travelling partners, who at least reveal that the human condition is no walk in the park. Scream (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 10.00pm Wes Craven rebooted the teenage-horror genre with Scream. It’s gory, but clever and funny, too, particularly in its own self-awareness: the characters talk constantly about being in a slasher movie. And Craven wrong-foots us with a terrific opening sequence that gleefully breaks the rules of film-making. Courteney Cox and Neve Campbell star. The sequel Scream 2 is on Friday at 11.00pm. I Love You, Man (2009) ★★★★☆ 5STAR, 11.00pm Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. Thursday 10 May Michael C Hall (centre) in Safe Credit: Netflix Safe Netflix, from today For the man who played serial-killing forensics expert Dexter and funeral director David in Six Feet Under, it’s fitting that we first encounter Michael C Hall’s latest deeply flawed antihero, Tom Delaney, by his wife’s grave in this opening set-piece of his new drama. This UK-set eight-parter then skips forward six years, with Tom (Hall’s English accent is pretty passable) managing two teenage daughters, his work as a paediatric surgeon and life in a “safe” gated community. What becomes rapidly clear is that his neighbours are also nursing guilty secrets and haunted by past failures: from best mate Marc Warren and Amanda Abbingdon’s dogged detective to Nigel Lindsay’s jovial life-and-soul type. Then Tom’s oldest daughter goes missing during a house party, and skeletons tumble out of closets in an enjoyably twist-riddled affair. The first collaboration between Safe’s co-creators, bestselling novelist Harlan Coben and screenwriter Danny Brocklehurst (Accused; Ordinary Lies; Come Home), marries the former’s love of a cliffhanger and skill with fast-paced narrative with the latter’s facility for character and emotional insight. Gabriel Tate PGA Tour Golf: The Players Championship Sky Sports the Players, 12.30pm It’s day one of the tournament widely regarded as the unofficial fifth Major, held at TPC Sawgrass in Florida. Last year, Kim Si-Woo, at 21, became the youngest champion in Players history and it was much deserved: his was a nerveless display that belied his young age. Danceworks: Prejudice and Passion BBC Four, 7.30pm Choreographer Carlos Pons Guerra invites the cameras into his latest production for children at the Birmingham Rep, a work challenging assumptions of gender and identity with its story of two male penguins raising a chick together. Premier League Football: West Ham United v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm Looking to secure their safety, relegation-threatened West Ham United welcome Manchester United to the Olympic Stadium. The Hammers will need to banish the memories of their last match against Man United, when Anthony Martial, Paul Pogba and a brace from Romelu Lukaku gave Jose Mourinho’s side a 4-0 win. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm Rylan Clark-Neal and Scott Mills are joined by British Eurovision hopeful SuRie to introduce coverage of the second semi-final from Lisbon, with 10 of the 18 featured acts making it to Saturday’s final. Food Unwrapped: China Special Channel 4, 8.00pm Jimmy Doherty and his team explore artisanal and commercial methods of production for garlic, noodles, soy sauce and fortune cookies. Red Ape: Saving the Orangutan BBC Two, 9.00pm This alarming and frequently harrowing documentary makes direct connections between Borneo’s plummeting orangutan population, the boom in illegal animal trading and rocketing global demand for palm oil, but there are glimmers of hope, due to the ceaseless diligence of local activists. Urban Myths: David Bowie and Marc Bolan Sky Arts, 9.00pm Luke Treadaway and Jack Whitehall star as the teenage David Bowie and Marc Bolan in this by turns silly and oddly poignant comedy of two icons bonding, bickering and dreaming of stardom while earning a crust decorating their manager’s office. GT Riot Girls Channel 4, 10.00pm A gleefully ribald new prank show from the supremely talented and smart quartet of Grace Campbell, Jen Wakefield, Cam Spence and Sophie Duker, using stunts to highlight the casual sexism and gender inequality in society from manspreading on the tube to contraception. It’s as crude as it is funny and effective. Great Art ITV, 10.45pm; not STV Tim Marlow’s admirably unadorned visual arts series returns to profile a man not unscrutinised over the years, but if this pen portrait fails to add much new to the David Hockney story, it’s an efficient and entertaining primer, focusing on his Royal Academy landscape and portraiture exhibitions of 2012 and 2016. GT The Bourne Supremacy (2004) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Continuing the story of Jason Bourne, this sequel sees the former assassin (Matt Damon) living in Goa with his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente) when a Russian assassin arrives to plunge him back into the deep end of a CIA conspiracy. While this is not quite on a par with the first film, Paul Greengrass’s direction is typically exhilarating, and Joan Allen and Brian Cox lend excellent support. Cocktail (1988) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 11.10pm Tom Cruise plays a tequila-tossing barman in this romantic drama which cashed in on his heart-throb image. After leaving the army, Brian (Cruise) gets a job working in a Manhattan bar. His Martini mentor is Doug (Bryan Brown), who soon teaches him the tricks of the trade, but when the pair fall out over a girl, Brian heads for the Caribbean. It’s a bland concoction but strangely agreeable. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) ★★★★☆ Film4, 11.15pm This startling debut by Marielle Heller shows the funny side of a teenager’s explorations into her sexuality as a 15-year-old wannabe cartoonist Minnie (Bel Powley) seduces her mother’s 35-year-old boyfriend Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård). Heller’s nimble direction and clever script ensure that the film never paints either Minnie or Monroe entirely as victim or predator. Friday 11 May Thure Lindhardt and Sofia Helin in The Bridge Credit: BBC The Bridge BBC Two, 9.00pm With the exception perhaps of Wallander, of all the Scandi-noir characters that we’ve seen in recent years it is The Bridge’s Saga Norén (Sofia Helin), a committed Malmö detective with a level of social dysfunction that implies autism, who has burrowed deepest into the hearts of UK viewers. She struggles to cope emotionally with the world around her, but that only makes us like her all the more. When last we saw Saga, at the close of series three two years ago, she had solved another major murder case but stood accused herself of killing her abusive mother. At least she had the consolation of meeting a soulmate of sorts in Henrik Sabroe (Thure Lindhardt), a police colleague from across the Øresund bridge linking Sweden and Denmark, and a man deeply damaged by the murder of his wife and the disappearance of his two young daughters. At the start of this instantly gripping fourth and final series, things are not looking good for Saga as she wakes up in a cold, grey, unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile, Henrik is called to the scene of a particularly grizzly murder in Copenhagen that has a link to the controversial deportation of an Iranian illegal immigrant. Gerard O’Donovan Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist Netflix, from today A bank raid gone wrong, a horrific bomb-collar murder, a cat and mouse hunt by the FBI to track down a former beauty queen turned self-styled criminal. This anticipated documentary picks apart the bizarre story of the so-called “pizza bomber heist” that gripped the city of Erie, Pennsylvania, in 2003. Fifteen years later, the discovery of new evidence suggests that the story could be even more strange. The One Show: NHS Patients Awards Special BBC One, 7.00pm A special edition marking the 70th anniversary of the NHS and celebrating the work of doctors, nurses and medical staff who deliver outstanding care – as nominated by viewers and the Patients Association. Matt Baker and Alex Jones present. BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm Violinist Nicola Benedetti and trumpeter Alison Balsom join presenter Josie D’Arby for the competition’s semi-final, in which five individual category winners – including percussionist Matthew Brett, cellist Maxim Calver and saxophonist Robert Burton – compete for a place in the final. The judges include conductor Jessica Cottis and composer Kerry Andrew. GO Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Krishnan Guru-Murthy reports from the popular tourist resorts of the Dominican Republic, where a UN investigation has uncovered shocking crimes against young people at the hands of sex tourists. Britain’s Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson Channel 5, 8.00pm In the final programme of his excellent series, Tony Robinson recounts the tangled – and entertaining – history of Winchester Cathedral, whose bishops were once among the richest, most influential and worst behaved in Britain – and where one of England’s greatest novelists, Jane Austen, is buried. Portillo’s Hidden History of Britain Channel 5, 9.00pm Bringing his foray to a close, former defence secretary Michael Portillo visits the village of Imber on the Salisbury Plain, which was taken over by the Army in 1943 for use as a wartime training ground and, despite promises to the contrary, still remains in the hands of the military. GO Test Cricket: Ireland v Pakistan Sky Sports Main Event, 11.50pm A historic occasion, this, as Ireland play their first-ever Test match, with Pakistan as the opposition at Malahide Cricket Club. Over the next few years, Ireland will have 60-65 home internationals, including 15 Test matches. Uncapped batsman Imam-ul-Haq, the nephew of former skipper Inzamam, has been named in Pakistan’s squad. Northern Soul (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 11.15pm The nostalgia is potent in this chronicle of the popular northern soul dance halls in the Seventies. The soundtrack is as evocative and wonderful as you might expect, and the drama offers a charming slice of social and cultural Lancashire history. It’s just a shame that the storyline has to follow the same innocent young man led astray/conflict-resolution story arc of nearly every coming-of-age film out there. Buried (2010) ★★★☆☆ BBC One, 11.55pm; N Ireland, 12.25am Ryan Reynolds plays an American truck driver ambushed in Iraq and buried by insurgents in a coffin, with only a phone and a Zippo lighter at his disposal. One might assume the dramatic opportunities for a man in this predicament are finite, but Chris Sparling’s inventive screenplay and Rodrigo Cortés’ direction open up the story beyond the confines of the space in which Reynolds is trapped. The Crying Game (1992) ★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.05am Neil Jordan’s tremendous psychological thriller, set against the backdrop of the Irish Troubles, still contains one of the great cinematic twists. Stephen Rea stars as Provisional IRA volunteer Fergus, who helps to kidnap a British soldier (US actor Forest Whitaker) in order to secure the release of jailed IRA members. However, things go wrong when Fergus begins to form a bond with his prisoner. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
Saturday 5 May Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? ITV, 9.15pm Judith Keppel winning, the Coughing Major cheating, Chris Tarrant smirking – for a brief period at the turn of the century Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? was the hottest programme on TV. One episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers and the show went on to inspire a bestselling novel, Q&A, which in turn became Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s 2008 Oscar-winning film. In truth, the quiz series only left TV screens four years ago, but it’s the heady early years that ITV is clearly hoping to repeat with this new version to commemorate the 20th anniversaryof the programme. So, what can we expect? It will air every night this week, and there’s a new host, Jeremy Clarkson, who’s roaring in to replace Tarrant. The old lifeline favourites – Phone a Friend, Ask the Audience and 50/50 – remain in place, although ITV have confirmed that there will be a fourth – Ask the Host. Contestants will also be allowed to set their own safety net, traditionally £32,000, once they reach question five. But is it possible for this version to capture the public’s imagination in these days of peak TV? One thing is certain: Clarkson has just the right amount of cocky charm to make a go of it as host. Sarah Hughes Happy Tent Tales CBeebies iPlayer,from today The BBC’s preschool series of live-action folk tales continues with five traditional stories presented by Karina O’Malley. There’s Welsh fairy tale The Golden Harp, traditional Scottish fable The Eagle and the Wren, and a lovely take on one of Aesop’s best, The Fox and the Crow. Rugby Union: Army v Navy Sky Sports Arena, 2.45pm Twickenham is the setting as the two Armed Forces compete for the Babcock trophy. Women’s FA Cup Football: Arsenal Women v Chelsea Ladies BBC One, 5.10pm Arsenal Women take on Chelsea Ladies in the final of the FA Cup, which takes place at Wembley Stadium. Fourteen-time winners Arsenal overcame Everton Ladies 2-1 in their semi-final, while Chelsea defeated the holders Manchester City 2-0. This match is a repeat of the 2016 fixture, in which the Gunners emerged victorious 1-0, thanks to Danielle Carter’s early strike. Beatles Night Sky Arts, from 6.00pm Sky Arts celebrates all things Fab Four with films tracing The Beatles from their humble beginnings to the heady heights of becoming the most famous pop band in the world. First up is My Beatles Black Album with Charles Hazlewood, in which the composer creates a mix of solo tracks by members of the band. The Beatles: From Liverpool to San Francisco then charts the band from their days playing in the Cavern Club to their US success. That’s followed by Ben Lewis’s recent The Beatles, Hippies & Hells Angels which looks at the rise and fall of their multimedia arm Apple Corps. SH Britain’s Got Talent ITV, 8.00pm With two golden buzzer acts already through to the live semi-finals, the fourth round of auditions heats up as more hopefuls strive to impress Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm It’s time to uncover Britain’s “Most Regency” town – and if eager Georgette Heyer fans were about to shout Bath, you are wrong. The answer, it turns out, is Cheltenham. Alice Roberts learns about Regency etiquette and uncovers why the pigeon is so important to the spa town. Casualty BBC One, 9.15pm Fans of the long-running medical drama get a treat here as the magnificently icy consultant Connie Beauchamp (Amanda Mealing) returns to work and instantly begins to reassert her authority. Elsewhere, doctor Ethan (George Rainsford) gets a shock when he visits the spot where his brother was murdered. The Great Rameses: New Evidence Revealed Channel 5, 10.10pm Channel 5’s latest series is a pretty straightforward but interesting-enough trawl through Ancient Egyptian history. The series begins with the story of Rameses II, who defeated the Hittites and was subsequently declared a living god by his people. SH Casablanca (1942, b/w) ★★★★★ ITV3, 3.00pm Humphrey Bogart’s Rick runs the American Bar in the eponymous Moroccan city, while Ingrid Bergman is the old flame who forces him to choose between his own heart and the fight against Nazism. Seventy six years on, Michael Curtiz’s Oscar-winning romantic drama is still a film to make the spirit soar; its finely drawn characters, quotable dialogue and haunting music have become iconic. Kajaki (2014) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 10.00pm; N Ireland, 11.00pm This tense film from Paul Katis tells the true story of British soldiers trapped in a mine-laden riverbed in Afghanistan. It not only convinces with its gory effects, but also with the agony each mine inflicts, and the delirium added when each man doses up with morphine: the acting from a uniformly strong ensemble cast, including Game of Thrones’s Mark Stanley, puts you right there. Sex and the City 2 (2010) ★★☆☆☆ ITV, 10.35pm SatC stalwarts will want a bite of this second film from the Big Apple franchise, but New York City is no more as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and friends head to Abu Dhabi. The fashion is outrageous, there’s a gay wedding with a swan, and Liza Minnelli does Beyoncé, but the whole thing is culturally insensitive and the women morph into cartoon characters. Turn off your brain and enjoy spending time with these old friends. Sunday 6 May Benoit Blin, Tom Allen, Liam Charles and Cherish Finden. Credit: Channel 4 Bake Off: The Professionals Channel 4, 8.00pm Completing the trifecta of Great British Bake Off shows that have switched from the BBC to Channel 4 is this competition for professional pâtissiers, formerly called Crème de la Crème. The six-part contest has wisely retained judges Benoit Blin and Cherish Finden, and hired new hosts in comedian Tom Allen and newcomer Liam Charles, who appeared in last year’s Bake Off. The format sees 12 teams of two pastry chefs compete in confectionery wars, beginning with the first half dozen. They’re tasked with making 24 tartes aux fruits and 24 tartes conversations [a sort of French Bakewell tart] followed by a show-stopping edible structure based on a Black Forest gâteau. The tension spikes as temperatures rise inside Firle Place in East Sussex, where it’s filmed – sweltering heat leads to high drama when contestants’ chocolate sculptures look in danger of toppling over. The appeal of the contest is in the staggering quality of the complicated pastries and edible works of art that the chefs turn out, which understandably knock the offerings of Bake Off’s amateurs into a cocked hat. And judges Blin and Finden are as theatrical as they are hard to please. This results in a scrumptious hour of food fetishism. Vicki Power Premier League Football: Chelsea v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 3.30pm Having won their last four games, Chelsea go into this match against third-placed Liverpool in good form. The Blues’ defence will have to be at its best, though: in Mohamed Salah, Liverpool have the most dangerous attacker in the league, and he’ll relish the opportunity to score against the club that sold him to Roma in 2016. When these sides met at Anfield, an 85th-minute goal from Willian ensured Chelsea salvaged a 1-1 draw. The Big Painting Challenge BBC One, 6.00pm It’s the final of this uplifting painting contest for amateurs, and the quartet of finalists relocate to Chatham Dockyards, where they must paint self-portraits. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm The arrival of the circus to Corfu provides the magic to bring Louisa (Keeley Hawes) and the recently separated Spiro (Alexis Georgoulis) ever closer in an emotional final episode of this beguiling drama. In fact, all of the Durrells have relationship upheavals, teeing up the action nicely for a fourth series. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Wilkie Collins’s Gothic thriller continues to compel in this fresh adaptation. In the penultimate episode, the women continue to suffer – clued-up Marian (Jessie Buckley) still has fever, rendering her unable to save her clueless half-sister Laura (Olivia Vinall) from the big twist we all know is coming. Ballet’s Dark Knight: Sir Kenneth MacMillan BBC Four, 9.00pm Darcey Bussell and Monica Mason are among the ballet stars who pay tribute to the choreographer Kenneth MacMillan in this excellent new biopic. Bussell, who worked with him at the age of 19, recalls how hard he pushed his dancers: “Nothing was ever good enough.” With contributions from MacMillan’s widow, Australian artist Deborah Williams, the documentary celebrates how the former artistic director of the Royal Ballet transformed ballet from polite pirouetting to a gritty, sexy art form. Michael Clark’s To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song BBC Four, 10.00pm Filmed at the Barbican in 2017, maverick choreographer Michael Clark’s acclaimed To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song is a mesmerising three-act piece in which he pays tribute to his greatest influences: punk music, Erik Satie and David Bowie. It is introduced here by Jarvis Cocker. VP Walter Presents: Tabula Rasa Channel 4, 10.15pm Belgium gives the Nordic lands a run for their money with another top-notch TV thriller. This nine-parter follows Mie D’Haeze (Veerle Baetens), an amnesiac psychiatric patient who finds she’s been implicated in a missing persons case. Her disturbed mind makes sorting the truth from fantasy virtually impossible. VP Megamind (2010) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 2.30pm DreamWorks’ fun tale of a Mekon-like, inept baddie is weird and witty. Directed by Tom McGrath, who was behind Madagascar, Will Ferrell leads voice duties, with funny turns from David Cross as his deputy, Minion, and Brad Pitt as his vain, buff, Aryan nemesis, the perpetually victorious Metro Man. An amusing quirk of Megamind’s is his affected pronunciation – he pronounces Metro City to rhyme with atrocity. The Boxtrolls (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 2.50pm There’s a cheerfully grotesque streak to this Oscar-winning stop-motion animation from the makers of Coraline and ParaNorman. In the town of Cheesebridge, a human boy raised by boxtrolls – trash-collecting creatures who live under the sewers wearing cardboard boxes – vows to save them from a villainous pest exterminator. It’s an endearing set-up and the carnival feel should please both adults and children. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 6.10pm The denouement to Peter Jackson’s grandiose adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s epic is the one that scooped an Oscar. Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) arrive at Mount Doom to destroy the Ring, both helped and hindered by the loathsome Gollum. Jackson’s only misjudgement is that the film meanders on for around half an hour after the real action is over. Bank Holiday Monday Peter Kay and Sian Gibson Credit: BBC Peter Kay’s Car Share Unscripted BBC One, 10.00pm The emergence of this improvised episode and the official climax to Peter Kay’s sitcom (airing next Bank Holiday Monday) is a treat for all sorts of reasons. Firstly, it would seem to allay concerns prompted by the comedian’s sudden cancellation of an extensive stand-up tour late last year. Secondly, it may offer closure to the many viewers left distraught by the cliffhanger ending to the second series, which saw straight-talking, outwardly stern John (Kay) fail to respond to the declaration of love proffered by co-worker and unsinkable romantic Kayleigh (Sian Gibson). And thirdly, it will mean one more hour in the company of these two beautifully drawn characters who felt like old friends from the moment they first appeared on our screens in 2015. This opening salvo sees Kay and Gibson ad-libbing in character, attempting to corpse each other with a ruthless lack of professionalism as John and Kayleigh drive home on their daily commute in John’s Fiat 500, their only company being the cheesy oldies radio station Forever FM. Don’t expect resolutions yet; instead, sit back and enjoy two fine performers rustling comic magic up out of thin air. Gabriel Tate The £100k Drop Channel 4, 4.00pm It has a new teatime slot and a 10th of the previous prize money, but Davina McCall is still in situ for this entertaining game show of general knowledge and playing the odds. Tenko True Entertainment, 6.00pm The classic BBC drama set in a Japanese POW camp for British, Dutch and Australian women interned after the fall of Singapore in 1942 is being aired every weeknight at 6.00pm. It’s unflinching in its explorations of friendship, sexuality and the degradations of war. Danceworks: The Dying Swan BBC Four, 7.30pm Beginning four consecutive nights of films exploring the world of British dance today, former Royal Ballet principal Zenaida Yanowsky explores the physical toll of her career as she attempts one final post-surgery comeback. Dispatches: Britain’s Benefits Crisis Channel 4, 7.30pm Morland Sanders investigates the Government’s roll-out of the Universal Credit scheme. It is ostensibly aimed at simplifying the benefits system but instead it is dogged by controversy, cuts to provisions and administrative glitches. ATP Masters Tennis: The Mutua Madrid Open Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm It’s the opening day of play in the clay-court tournament at the Caja Magica, where world number one and home favourite Rafael Nadal – in formidable form – is the event’s reigning champion. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Fiona Seres’s impressively sustained exploration of brutal, brittle masculinity and the stout resistance of their intended victims reaches a gripping climax as Lura (Olivia Vinall) and Marian (Jessie Buckley) strike back against the devious Fosco (Riccardo Scamarcio) and thuggish Sir Percival (Dougray Scott). The Road to Palmyra BBC Four, 9.00pm Ebullient historian Dan Cruickshank and wry photographer Don McCullin make an odd couple, yet their journey through a ravaged Syria casts new light on both the conflict as well as what the material and spiritual costs will be for future generations. GT Genderquake Channel 4, 9.00pm This gimmicky but occasionally enlightening TV experiment puts 11 strangers with different attitudes towards gender and sexuality in a house together for a week: prejudices are aired, preconceptions challenged and romances kindled. It concludes on Tuesday with further revelations and realisations, as well as a debate on the issues raised at 10.00pm. GT Forrest Gump (1994) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 9.00pm Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama is full of spirit – even if, at times, it’s slightly saccharine. Forrest (Tom Hanks) is a simpleton with a heart of gold, who, ever true to the homely advice of his mother (Sally Field) is reflecting on his improbable life as a Vietnam War hero, table-tennis champion and accidental millionaire. Hanks, depending on your sentimentality threshold, may prove to be adorable. Notting Hill (1999) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.20pm This is the second of Richard Curtis’s romcoms, after Four Weddings and a Funeral, about bumbling good eggs and frightfully pretty girls. Hugh Grant plays a London bookseller who attracts the attention of a film star (Julia Roberts) – it’s amusing, in particular when Grant’s character ineptly poses as a journalist from Horse & Hound magazine at a press junket for her sci-fi movie. Papillon (1973) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 11.00pm Based on the autobiography of petty criminal Henri Charrière – nicknamed Papillon because of his butterfly tattoo – this powerful prison drama is set in the infamous French penal colony Devil’s Island. Steve McQueen impressively stars as the title character, desperate to escape Devil’s Island’s gruesome brutality. Dustin Hoffman gives memorable support as his friend, the small-time fraudster Louis Dega. Tuesday 8 May Inspirational: Kate Humble with Emma and some alpacas Credit: BBC Back to the Land with Kate Humble BBC Two, 7.00pm There aren’t many TV shows that merit the word “inspirational” but Kate Humble’s series looking at the lives and work of entrepreneurial countryside pioneers around the UK does. Here she returns for another 12-part run, beginning by visiting four new start-ups in Cornwall which were prompted by a perceived gap in the market. Her clear favourites – she returns again and again to check on their progress – are free-diving seaweed harvesters Caro and Tim. This sustainability-aware pair were looking to work locally when they realised that, despite seaweed becoming more fashionable as a cooking ingredient, no one was harvesting the plentiful supply in the sea near them. Much hard work and ingenuity later, it’s an unlikely business idea that looks set to be a winner. Humble also meets a couple who reversed their farm’s declining fortunes by taking a leap of faith into free-range duck breeding, two best friends who supply native-flower bouquets to Cornwall’s booming high-end wedding market and a lavishly bearded brewer whose wild foraging in the local fields and hedgerows supplies the ingredients for his uniquely flavoured “wild” beers. Gerard O’Donovan Danceworks: Street to Stage BBC Four, 7.30pm Rising British star Dickson Mbi displays a range of talents in this film following him and his hip-hop popping team, Fiya House, competing in an international street dance competition. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm The Eurovision song contest circus kicks off tonight in Lisbon with the first semi-final featuring 19 countries (including Ireland) of the record-equalling 43 competing this year. UK fans have to wait for Saturday’s Grand Final to hear SuRie sing our entry, Storm. The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds Channel 4, 8.00pm The first in a two-part special exploring how children learn the difference between right and wrong, as another class of five-year-olds are challenged to decide if it’s OK to cheat and what to do when someone tells you a secret. Abandoned Engineering Yesterday, 8.00pm The series exploring mysterious abandoned buildings returns for a second series. This week, a vast labyrinth of crumbling tunnels, bunkers and towers in northern Poland, once a cutting-edge oil refinery, reveals its former role as a pivotal part of Hitler’s war machine. GO The Split BBC One, 9.00pm Abi Morgan’s legal drama hurries on apace with further revelations drawing us deeper into the lives of Hannah (Nicola Walker) and her dysfunctional family of lawyers. Tonight, things get heated in a case involving frozen embryos, and matriarch Ruth (Deborah Findlay) is evasive over finances. Later Live: with Jools Holland BBC Two, 10.00pm Returning for a 52nd series, Jools Holland welcomes more acts to play live in studio. Among them are Snow Patrol, Plan B, Bettye Lavette, and rising stars Shame and Jade Bird. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle: The Engagement Interview BBC One, 11.40pm; NI/Wales, 12.05am; Scot, 12.45am In case you won’t catch the endless clips in royal wedding-related programming over the next 10 days, here’s a repeat of the interview the couple gave Mishal Husain at Kensington Palace last year on the day they announced their engagement. GO My Cousin Rachel (2017) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 2.30pm and 11.30pm “Did she? Didn’t she?” ponders stricken hero Philip Ashley about the titular character and the possible murder of her husband/his cousin. This is based on Daphne du Maurier’s 1951 novel, but there was also a film version in 1952, an Eighties BBC version, on radio, and on the stage. Young Philip, the heir to a fortune, is played in Roger Michell’s stylish but sexless adaptation by a rakish Sam Claflin. Hot Fuzz (2007) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s follow-up to the cult comedy-horror Shaun of the Dead (and the second chapter in the Cornetto Trilogy) reunites Pegg with Nick Frost in the story of two policemen who uncover a conspiracy in a Somerset village. Timothy Dalton is a sinister triumph as a millionaire baddy. Sharp, funny and with explosive action scenes, it’s a very British action-comedy that does everything it should. Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice? (1969) ★★★☆☆ Talking Pictures TV, 9.00pm This is the third in a trilogy of Robert Aldrich-produced films (following What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte). It also features two female leads – this time, an Arizona widow (Geraldine Page) hires housekeepers to con them out of their money before murdering them, but Ruth Gordon’s Alice Dimmock isn’t easily fooled. Wednesday 9 May Healthy outlook: Fearnley-Whittingstall with volunteer Janet Credit: BBC Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall BBC One, 9.00pm; Scotland, 10.45pm He tried to get Newcastle exercising together and demonstrated to the unconvinced in Bristol just how much sugar there is in a smoothie, now, in this final episode, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall faces his toughest test of all – he heading to the Tory Party Conference to speak about obesity and attempting to get an audience with Health Minister Jeremy Hunt. But can he convince the ministers – and the hard-to-pin-down Hunt – that they need to do more to combat both national awareness of what we eat and the country’s fitness levels? First, he checks in with some of those who have signed up for the Newcastle Can scheme; heads out for a surfing lesson with Janet, a willing but struggling participant; trials a weight-loss experiment at the GP’s surgery and looks at the way in which marketing affects our understanding of food. Whether or not he manages to replicate the impact that Jamie Oliver had on the government during his school dinners campaign remains to be seen, but this impassioned series will surely have convinced the UK’s couch potatoes that it’s time to embrace the sunnier weather and start walking. Sarah Hughes DanceWorks: Choreographing History BBC Four, 7.30pm “With contemporary dance we don’t inherit ready-made stories, so we have to make up our own,” says choreographer Shobana Jeyasingh in this fascinating film. Jeyasingh’s latest work, Contagion, takes the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic as its subject, and this documentary follows her as she translates her research into a haunting, beautiful piece of work. The Secret Life of the Zoo Channel 4, 8.00pm The fallout from orangutan Emma’s pregnancy continues this week as the new mother pushes away the older child to raise the baby, leaving the zoo staff increasingly worried as to how the abandoned youth will cope. Mystery of the Lost Paintings Sky Arts, 8.00pm This episode examines the 1958 fire at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, which destroyed two of Monet’s famous Water Lily paintings, before attempting to digitally reconstruct one of the damaged works. Love in the Countryside BBC Two, 9.00pm Everything moves up a gear as lovelorn dairy farmers Pete and Ed invite their three prospective partners over for a weekend. Cue early issues as fiftysomethings Helen and Caroline struggle in the face of thirtysomething Frannie’s more obvious assets. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm It’s an emotional finale at the Birmingham Women’s Hospital as we meet Lauren and Rachel, who are preparing for a second child, and Urwah and Nadhia, who are about to meet their fifth. Meanwhile, Laura and Paul, friends turned lovers, have nine kids between them and another on the way. Harry & Meghan: A Love Story Sky One, 9.00pm Bafta-winning film-maker Toby Sculthorp turns his eye to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, talking to close friends and former head of the British Army, Richard Dannatt. SH Tortured By Mum and Dad: The Turpin 13 Channel 5, 10.00pm When 13 children were discovered shackled and starved by their parents, David and Louise Turpin earlier this year, it made global headlines. This documentary returns to the case, asking how the pair managed to hide their terrible secret for so long. A Walk in the Woods (2015) ★★☆☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Robert Redford turns Bill Bryson’s elegant travelogue about his middle-aged attempt on the Appalachian Trail – a 2,000-mile trek through the eastern United States – into a sloppy sitcom. The great American outdoors, however, are shot in picturesque fashion. Nick Nolte and Emma Thompson star as Bryson’s travelling partners, who at least reveal that the human condition is no walk in the park. Scream (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 10.00pm Wes Craven rebooted the teenage-horror genre with Scream. It’s gory, but clever and funny, too, particularly in its own self-awareness: the characters talk constantly about being in a slasher movie. And Craven wrong-foots us with a terrific opening sequence that gleefully breaks the rules of film-making. Courteney Cox and Neve Campbell star. The sequel Scream 2 is on Friday at 11.00pm. I Love You, Man (2009) ★★★★☆ 5STAR, 11.00pm Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. Thursday 10 May Michael C Hall (centre) in Safe Credit: Netflix Safe Netflix, from today For the man who played serial-killing forensics expert Dexter and funeral director David in Six Feet Under, it’s fitting that we first encounter Michael C Hall’s latest deeply flawed antihero, Tom Delaney, by his wife’s grave in this opening set-piece of his new drama. This UK-set eight-parter then skips forward six years, with Tom (Hall’s English accent is pretty passable) managing two teenage daughters, his work as a paediatric surgeon and life in a “safe” gated community. What becomes rapidly clear is that his neighbours are also nursing guilty secrets and haunted by past failures: from best mate Marc Warren and Amanda Abbingdon’s dogged detective to Nigel Lindsay’s jovial life-and-soul type. Then Tom’s oldest daughter goes missing during a house party, and skeletons tumble out of closets in an enjoyably twist-riddled affair. The first collaboration between Safe’s co-creators, bestselling novelist Harlan Coben and screenwriter Danny Brocklehurst (Accused; Ordinary Lies; Come Home), marries the former’s love of a cliffhanger and skill with fast-paced narrative with the latter’s facility for character and emotional insight. Gabriel Tate PGA Tour Golf: The Players Championship Sky Sports the Players, 12.30pm It’s day one of the tournament widely regarded as the unofficial fifth Major, held at TPC Sawgrass in Florida. Last year, Kim Si-Woo, at 21, became the youngest champion in Players history and it was much deserved: his was a nerveless display that belied his young age. Danceworks: Prejudice and Passion BBC Four, 7.30pm Choreographer Carlos Pons Guerra invites the cameras into his latest production for children at the Birmingham Rep, a work challenging assumptions of gender and identity with its story of two male penguins raising a chick together. Premier League Football: West Ham United v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm Looking to secure their safety, relegation-threatened West Ham United welcome Manchester United to the Olympic Stadium. The Hammers will need to banish the memories of their last match against Man United, when Anthony Martial, Paul Pogba and a brace from Romelu Lukaku gave Jose Mourinho’s side a 4-0 win. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm Rylan Clark-Neal and Scott Mills are joined by British Eurovision hopeful SuRie to introduce coverage of the second semi-final from Lisbon, with 10 of the 18 featured acts making it to Saturday’s final. Food Unwrapped: China Special Channel 4, 8.00pm Jimmy Doherty and his team explore artisanal and commercial methods of production for garlic, noodles, soy sauce and fortune cookies. Red Ape: Saving the Orangutan BBC Two, 9.00pm This alarming and frequently harrowing documentary makes direct connections between Borneo’s plummeting orangutan population, the boom in illegal animal trading and rocketing global demand for palm oil, but there are glimmers of hope, due to the ceaseless diligence of local activists. Urban Myths: David Bowie and Marc Bolan Sky Arts, 9.00pm Luke Treadaway and Jack Whitehall star as the teenage David Bowie and Marc Bolan in this by turns silly and oddly poignant comedy of two icons bonding, bickering and dreaming of stardom while earning a crust decorating their manager’s office. GT Riot Girls Channel 4, 10.00pm A gleefully ribald new prank show from the supremely talented and smart quartet of Grace Campbell, Jen Wakefield, Cam Spence and Sophie Duker, using stunts to highlight the casual sexism and gender inequality in society from manspreading on the tube to contraception. It’s as crude as it is funny and effective. Great Art ITV, 10.45pm; not STV Tim Marlow’s admirably unadorned visual arts series returns to profile a man not unscrutinised over the years, but if this pen portrait fails to add much new to the David Hockney story, it’s an efficient and entertaining primer, focusing on his Royal Academy landscape and portraiture exhibitions of 2012 and 2016. GT The Bourne Supremacy (2004) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Continuing the story of Jason Bourne, this sequel sees the former assassin (Matt Damon) living in Goa with his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente) when a Russian assassin arrives to plunge him back into the deep end of a CIA conspiracy. While this is not quite on a par with the first film, Paul Greengrass’s direction is typically exhilarating, and Joan Allen and Brian Cox lend excellent support. Cocktail (1988) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 11.10pm Tom Cruise plays a tequila-tossing barman in this romantic drama which cashed in on his heart-throb image. After leaving the army, Brian (Cruise) gets a job working in a Manhattan bar. His Martini mentor is Doug (Bryan Brown), who soon teaches him the tricks of the trade, but when the pair fall out over a girl, Brian heads for the Caribbean. It’s a bland concoction but strangely agreeable. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) ★★★★☆ Film4, 11.15pm This startling debut by Marielle Heller shows the funny side of a teenager’s explorations into her sexuality as a 15-year-old wannabe cartoonist Minnie (Bel Powley) seduces her mother’s 35-year-old boyfriend Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård). Heller’s nimble direction and clever script ensure that the film never paints either Minnie or Monroe entirely as victim or predator. Friday 11 May Thure Lindhardt and Sofia Helin in The Bridge Credit: BBC The Bridge BBC Two, 9.00pm With the exception perhaps of Wallander, of all the Scandi-noir characters that we’ve seen in recent years it is The Bridge’s Saga Norén (Sofia Helin), a committed Malmö detective with a level of social dysfunction that implies autism, who has burrowed deepest into the hearts of UK viewers. She struggles to cope emotionally with the world around her, but that only makes us like her all the more. When last we saw Saga, at the close of series three two years ago, she had solved another major murder case but stood accused herself of killing her abusive mother. At least she had the consolation of meeting a soulmate of sorts in Henrik Sabroe (Thure Lindhardt), a police colleague from across the Øresund bridge linking Sweden and Denmark, and a man deeply damaged by the murder of his wife and the disappearance of his two young daughters. At the start of this instantly gripping fourth and final series, things are not looking good for Saga as she wakes up in a cold, grey, unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile, Henrik is called to the scene of a particularly grizzly murder in Copenhagen that has a link to the controversial deportation of an Iranian illegal immigrant. Gerard O’Donovan Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist Netflix, from today A bank raid gone wrong, a horrific bomb-collar murder, a cat and mouse hunt by the FBI to track down a former beauty queen turned self-styled criminal. This anticipated documentary picks apart the bizarre story of the so-called “pizza bomber heist” that gripped the city of Erie, Pennsylvania, in 2003. Fifteen years later, the discovery of new evidence suggests that the story could be even more strange. The One Show: NHS Patients Awards Special BBC One, 7.00pm A special edition marking the 70th anniversary of the NHS and celebrating the work of doctors, nurses and medical staff who deliver outstanding care – as nominated by viewers and the Patients Association. Matt Baker and Alex Jones present. BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm Violinist Nicola Benedetti and trumpeter Alison Balsom join presenter Josie D’Arby for the competition’s semi-final, in which five individual category winners – including percussionist Matthew Brett, cellist Maxim Calver and saxophonist Robert Burton – compete for a place in the final. The judges include conductor Jessica Cottis and composer Kerry Andrew. GO Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Krishnan Guru-Murthy reports from the popular tourist resorts of the Dominican Republic, where a UN investigation has uncovered shocking crimes against young people at the hands of sex tourists. Britain’s Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson Channel 5, 8.00pm In the final programme of his excellent series, Tony Robinson recounts the tangled – and entertaining – history of Winchester Cathedral, whose bishops were once among the richest, most influential and worst behaved in Britain – and where one of England’s greatest novelists, Jane Austen, is buried. Portillo’s Hidden History of Britain Channel 5, 9.00pm Bringing his foray to a close, former defence secretary Michael Portillo visits the village of Imber on the Salisbury Plain, which was taken over by the Army in 1943 for use as a wartime training ground and, despite promises to the contrary, still remains in the hands of the military. GO Test Cricket: Ireland v Pakistan Sky Sports Main Event, 11.50pm A historic occasion, this, as Ireland play their first-ever Test match, with Pakistan as the opposition at Malahide Cricket Club. Over the next few years, Ireland will have 60-65 home internationals, including 15 Test matches. Uncapped batsman Imam-ul-Haq, the nephew of former skipper Inzamam, has been named in Pakistan’s squad. Northern Soul (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 11.15pm The nostalgia is potent in this chronicle of the popular northern soul dance halls in the Seventies. The soundtrack is as evocative and wonderful as you might expect, and the drama offers a charming slice of social and cultural Lancashire history. It’s just a shame that the storyline has to follow the same innocent young man led astray/conflict-resolution story arc of nearly every coming-of-age film out there. Buried (2010) ★★★☆☆ BBC One, 11.55pm; N Ireland, 12.25am Ryan Reynolds plays an American truck driver ambushed in Iraq and buried by insurgents in a coffin, with only a phone and a Zippo lighter at his disposal. One might assume the dramatic opportunities for a man in this predicament are finite, but Chris Sparling’s inventive screenplay and Rodrigo Cortés’ direction open up the story beyond the confines of the space in which Reynolds is trapped. The Crying Game (1992) ★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.05am Neil Jordan’s tremendous psychological thriller, set against the backdrop of the Irish Troubles, still contains one of the great cinematic twists. Stephen Rea stars as Provisional IRA volunteer Fergus, who helps to kidnap a British soldier (US actor Forest Whitaker) in order to secure the release of jailed IRA members. However, things go wrong when Fergus begins to form a bond with his prisoner. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
What's on TV today: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Casablanca and more
Saturday 5 May Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? ITV, 9.15pm Judith Keppel winning, the Coughing Major cheating, Chris Tarrant smirking – for a brief period at the turn of the century Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? was the hottest programme on TV. One episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers and the show went on to inspire a bestselling novel, Q&A, which in turn became Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s 2008 Oscar-winning film. In truth, the quiz series only left TV screens four years ago, but it’s the heady early years that ITV is clearly hoping to repeat with this new version to commemorate the 20th anniversaryof the programme. So, what can we expect? It will air every night this week, and there’s a new host, Jeremy Clarkson, who’s roaring in to replace Tarrant. The old lifeline favourites – Phone a Friend, Ask the Audience and 50/50 – remain in place, although ITV have confirmed that there will be a fourth – Ask the Host. Contestants will also be allowed to set their own safety net, traditionally £32,000, once they reach question five. But is it possible for this version to capture the public’s imagination in these days of peak TV? One thing is certain: Clarkson has just the right amount of cocky charm to make a go of it as host. Sarah Hughes Happy Tent Tales CBeebies iPlayer,from today The BBC’s preschool series of live-action folk tales continues with five traditional stories presented by Karina O’Malley. There’s Welsh fairy tale The Golden Harp, traditional Scottish fable The Eagle and the Wren, and a lovely take on one of Aesop’s best, The Fox and the Crow. Rugby Union: Army v Navy Sky Sports Arena, 2.45pm Twickenham is the setting as the two Armed Forces compete for the Babcock trophy. Women’s FA Cup Football: Arsenal Women v Chelsea Ladies BBC One, 5.10pm Arsenal Women take on Chelsea Ladies in the final of the FA Cup, which takes place at Wembley Stadium. Fourteen-time winners Arsenal overcame Everton Ladies 2-1 in their semi-final, while Chelsea defeated the holders Manchester City 2-0. This match is a repeat of the 2016 fixture, in which the Gunners emerged victorious 1-0, thanks to Danielle Carter’s early strike. Beatles Night Sky Arts, from 6.00pm Sky Arts celebrates all things Fab Four with films tracing The Beatles from their humble beginnings to the heady heights of becoming the most famous pop band in the world. First up is My Beatles Black Album with Charles Hazlewood, in which the composer creates a mix of solo tracks by members of the band. The Beatles: From Liverpool to San Francisco then charts the band from their days playing in the Cavern Club to their US success. That’s followed by Ben Lewis’s recent The Beatles, Hippies & Hells Angels which looks at the rise and fall of their multimedia arm Apple Corps. SH Britain’s Got Talent ITV, 8.00pm With two golden buzzer acts already through to the live semi-finals, the fourth round of auditions heats up as more hopefuls strive to impress Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm It’s time to uncover Britain’s “Most Regency” town – and if eager Georgette Heyer fans were about to shout Bath, you are wrong. The answer, it turns out, is Cheltenham. Alice Roberts learns about Regency etiquette and uncovers why the pigeon is so important to the spa town. Casualty BBC One, 9.15pm Fans of the long-running medical drama get a treat here as the magnificently icy consultant Connie Beauchamp (Amanda Mealing) returns to work and instantly begins to reassert her authority. Elsewhere, doctor Ethan (George Rainsford) gets a shock when he visits the spot where his brother was murdered. The Great Rameses: New Evidence Revealed Channel 5, 10.10pm Channel 5’s latest series is a pretty straightforward but interesting-enough trawl through Ancient Egyptian history. The series begins with the story of Rameses II, who defeated the Hittites and was subsequently declared a living god by his people. SH Casablanca (1942, b/w) ★★★★★ ITV3, 3.00pm Humphrey Bogart’s Rick runs the American Bar in the eponymous Moroccan city, while Ingrid Bergman is the old flame who forces him to choose between his own heart and the fight against Nazism. Seventy six years on, Michael Curtiz’s Oscar-winning romantic drama is still a film to make the spirit soar; its finely drawn characters, quotable dialogue and haunting music have become iconic. Kajaki (2014) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 10.00pm; N Ireland, 11.00pm This tense film from Paul Katis tells the true story of British soldiers trapped in a mine-laden riverbed in Afghanistan. It not only convinces with its gory effects, but also with the agony each mine inflicts, and the delirium added when each man doses up with morphine: the acting from a uniformly strong ensemble cast, including Game of Thrones’s Mark Stanley, puts you right there. Sex and the City 2 (2010) ★★☆☆☆ ITV, 10.35pm SatC stalwarts will want a bite of this second film from the Big Apple franchise, but New York City is no more as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and friends head to Abu Dhabi. The fashion is outrageous, there’s a gay wedding with a swan, and Liza Minnelli does Beyoncé, but the whole thing is culturally insensitive and the women morph into cartoon characters. Turn off your brain and enjoy spending time with these old friends. Sunday 6 May Benoit Blin, Tom Allen, Liam Charles and Cherish Finden. Credit: Channel 4 Bake Off: The Professionals Channel 4, 8.00pm Completing the trifecta of Great British Bake Off shows that have switched from the BBC to Channel 4 is this competition for professional pâtissiers, formerly called Crème de la Crème. The six-part contest has wisely retained judges Benoit Blin and Cherish Finden, and hired new hosts in comedian Tom Allen and newcomer Liam Charles, who appeared in last year’s Bake Off. The format sees 12 teams of two pastry chefs compete in confectionery wars, beginning with the first half dozen. They’re tasked with making 24 tartes aux fruits and 24 tartes conversations [a sort of French Bakewell tart] followed by a show-stopping edible structure based on a Black Forest gâteau. The tension spikes as temperatures rise inside Firle Place in East Sussex, where it’s filmed – sweltering heat leads to high drama when contestants’ chocolate sculptures look in danger of toppling over. The appeal of the contest is in the staggering quality of the complicated pastries and edible works of art that the chefs turn out, which understandably knock the offerings of Bake Off’s amateurs into a cocked hat. And judges Blin and Finden are as theatrical as they are hard to please. This results in a scrumptious hour of food fetishism. Vicki Power Premier League Football: Chelsea v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 3.30pm Having won their last four games, Chelsea go into this match against third-placed Liverpool in good form. The Blues’ defence will have to be at its best, though: in Mohamed Salah, Liverpool have the most dangerous attacker in the league, and he’ll relish the opportunity to score against the club that sold him to Roma in 2016. When these sides met at Anfield, an 85th-minute goal from Willian ensured Chelsea salvaged a 1-1 draw. The Big Painting Challenge BBC One, 6.00pm It’s the final of this uplifting painting contest for amateurs, and the quartet of finalists relocate to Chatham Dockyards, where they must paint self-portraits. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm The arrival of the circus to Corfu provides the magic to bring Louisa (Keeley Hawes) and the recently separated Spiro (Alexis Georgoulis) ever closer in an emotional final episode of this beguiling drama. In fact, all of the Durrells have relationship upheavals, teeing up the action nicely for a fourth series. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Wilkie Collins’s Gothic thriller continues to compel in this fresh adaptation. In the penultimate episode, the women continue to suffer – clued-up Marian (Jessie Buckley) still has fever, rendering her unable to save her clueless half-sister Laura (Olivia Vinall) from the big twist we all know is coming. Ballet’s Dark Knight: Sir Kenneth MacMillan BBC Four, 9.00pm Darcey Bussell and Monica Mason are among the ballet stars who pay tribute to the choreographer Kenneth MacMillan in this excellent new biopic. Bussell, who worked with him at the age of 19, recalls how hard he pushed his dancers: “Nothing was ever good enough.” With contributions from MacMillan’s widow, Australian artist Deborah Williams, the documentary celebrates how the former artistic director of the Royal Ballet transformed ballet from polite pirouetting to a gritty, sexy art form. Michael Clark’s To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song BBC Four, 10.00pm Filmed at the Barbican in 2017, maverick choreographer Michael Clark’s acclaimed To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song is a mesmerising three-act piece in which he pays tribute to his greatest influences: punk music, Erik Satie and David Bowie. It is introduced here by Jarvis Cocker. VP Walter Presents: Tabula Rasa Channel 4, 10.15pm Belgium gives the Nordic lands a run for their money with another top-notch TV thriller. This nine-parter follows Mie D’Haeze (Veerle Baetens), an amnesiac psychiatric patient who finds she’s been implicated in a missing persons case. Her disturbed mind makes sorting the truth from fantasy virtually impossible. VP Megamind (2010) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 2.30pm DreamWorks’ fun tale of a Mekon-like, inept baddie is weird and witty. Directed by Tom McGrath, who was behind Madagascar, Will Ferrell leads voice duties, with funny turns from David Cross as his deputy, Minion, and Brad Pitt as his vain, buff, Aryan nemesis, the perpetually victorious Metro Man. An amusing quirk of Megamind’s is his affected pronunciation – he pronounces Metro City to rhyme with atrocity. The Boxtrolls (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 2.50pm There’s a cheerfully grotesque streak to this Oscar-winning stop-motion animation from the makers of Coraline and ParaNorman. In the town of Cheesebridge, a human boy raised by boxtrolls – trash-collecting creatures who live under the sewers wearing cardboard boxes – vows to save them from a villainous pest exterminator. It’s an endearing set-up and the carnival feel should please both adults and children. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 6.10pm The denouement to Peter Jackson’s grandiose adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s epic is the one that scooped an Oscar. Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) arrive at Mount Doom to destroy the Ring, both helped and hindered by the loathsome Gollum. Jackson’s only misjudgement is that the film meanders on for around half an hour after the real action is over. Bank Holiday Monday Peter Kay and Sian Gibson Credit: BBC Peter Kay’s Car Share Unscripted BBC One, 10.00pm The emergence of this improvised episode and the official climax to Peter Kay’s sitcom (airing next Bank Holiday Monday) is a treat for all sorts of reasons. Firstly, it would seem to allay concerns prompted by the comedian’s sudden cancellation of an extensive stand-up tour late last year. Secondly, it may offer closure to the many viewers left distraught by the cliffhanger ending to the second series, which saw straight-talking, outwardly stern John (Kay) fail to respond to the declaration of love proffered by co-worker and unsinkable romantic Kayleigh (Sian Gibson). And thirdly, it will mean one more hour in the company of these two beautifully drawn characters who felt like old friends from the moment they first appeared on our screens in 2015. This opening salvo sees Kay and Gibson ad-libbing in character, attempting to corpse each other with a ruthless lack of professionalism as John and Kayleigh drive home on their daily commute in John’s Fiat 500, their only company being the cheesy oldies radio station Forever FM. Don’t expect resolutions yet; instead, sit back and enjoy two fine performers rustling comic magic up out of thin air. Gabriel Tate The £100k Drop Channel 4, 4.00pm It has a new teatime slot and a 10th of the previous prize money, but Davina McCall is still in situ for this entertaining game show of general knowledge and playing the odds. Tenko True Entertainment, 6.00pm The classic BBC drama set in a Japanese POW camp for British, Dutch and Australian women interned after the fall of Singapore in 1942 is being aired every weeknight at 6.00pm. It’s unflinching in its explorations of friendship, sexuality and the degradations of war. Danceworks: The Dying Swan BBC Four, 7.30pm Beginning four consecutive nights of films exploring the world of British dance today, former Royal Ballet principal Zenaida Yanowsky explores the physical toll of her career as she attempts one final post-surgery comeback. Dispatches: Britain’s Benefits Crisis Channel 4, 7.30pm Morland Sanders investigates the Government’s roll-out of the Universal Credit scheme. It is ostensibly aimed at simplifying the benefits system but instead it is dogged by controversy, cuts to provisions and administrative glitches. ATP Masters Tennis: The Mutua Madrid Open Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm It’s the opening day of play in the clay-court tournament at the Caja Magica, where world number one and home favourite Rafael Nadal – in formidable form – is the event’s reigning champion. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Fiona Seres’s impressively sustained exploration of brutal, brittle masculinity and the stout resistance of their intended victims reaches a gripping climax as Lura (Olivia Vinall) and Marian (Jessie Buckley) strike back against the devious Fosco (Riccardo Scamarcio) and thuggish Sir Percival (Dougray Scott). The Road to Palmyra BBC Four, 9.00pm Ebullient historian Dan Cruickshank and wry photographer Don McCullin make an odd couple, yet their journey through a ravaged Syria casts new light on both the conflict as well as what the material and spiritual costs will be for future generations. GT Genderquake Channel 4, 9.00pm This gimmicky but occasionally enlightening TV experiment puts 11 strangers with different attitudes towards gender and sexuality in a house together for a week: prejudices are aired, preconceptions challenged and romances kindled. It concludes on Tuesday with further revelations and realisations, as well as a debate on the issues raised at 10.00pm. GT Forrest Gump (1994) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 9.00pm Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama is full of spirit – even if, at times, it’s slightly saccharine. Forrest (Tom Hanks) is a simpleton with a heart of gold, who, ever true to the homely advice of his mother (Sally Field) is reflecting on his improbable life as a Vietnam War hero, table-tennis champion and accidental millionaire. Hanks, depending on your sentimentality threshold, may prove to be adorable. Notting Hill (1999) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.20pm This is the second of Richard Curtis’s romcoms, after Four Weddings and a Funeral, about bumbling good eggs and frightfully pretty girls. Hugh Grant plays a London bookseller who attracts the attention of a film star (Julia Roberts) – it’s amusing, in particular when Grant’s character ineptly poses as a journalist from Horse & Hound magazine at a press junket for her sci-fi movie. Papillon (1973) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 11.00pm Based on the autobiography of petty criminal Henri Charrière – nicknamed Papillon because of his butterfly tattoo – this powerful prison drama is set in the infamous French penal colony Devil’s Island. Steve McQueen impressively stars as the title character, desperate to escape Devil’s Island’s gruesome brutality. Dustin Hoffman gives memorable support as his friend, the small-time fraudster Louis Dega. Tuesday 8 May Inspirational: Kate Humble with Emma and some alpacas Credit: BBC Back to the Land with Kate Humble BBC Two, 7.00pm There aren’t many TV shows that merit the word “inspirational” but Kate Humble’s series looking at the lives and work of entrepreneurial countryside pioneers around the UK does. Here she returns for another 12-part run, beginning by visiting four new start-ups in Cornwall which were prompted by a perceived gap in the market. Her clear favourites – she returns again and again to check on their progress – are free-diving seaweed harvesters Caro and Tim. This sustainability-aware pair were looking to work locally when they realised that, despite seaweed becoming more fashionable as a cooking ingredient, no one was harvesting the plentiful supply in the sea near them. Much hard work and ingenuity later, it’s an unlikely business idea that looks set to be a winner. Humble also meets a couple who reversed their farm’s declining fortunes by taking a leap of faith into free-range duck breeding, two best friends who supply native-flower bouquets to Cornwall’s booming high-end wedding market and a lavishly bearded brewer whose wild foraging in the local fields and hedgerows supplies the ingredients for his uniquely flavoured “wild” beers. Gerard O’Donovan Danceworks: Street to Stage BBC Four, 7.30pm Rising British star Dickson Mbi displays a range of talents in this film following him and his hip-hop popping team, Fiya House, competing in an international street dance competition. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm The Eurovision song contest circus kicks off tonight in Lisbon with the first semi-final featuring 19 countries (including Ireland) of the record-equalling 43 competing this year. UK fans have to wait for Saturday’s Grand Final to hear SuRie sing our entry, Storm. The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds Channel 4, 8.00pm The first in a two-part special exploring how children learn the difference between right and wrong, as another class of five-year-olds are challenged to decide if it’s OK to cheat and what to do when someone tells you a secret. Abandoned Engineering Yesterday, 8.00pm The series exploring mysterious abandoned buildings returns for a second series. This week, a vast labyrinth of crumbling tunnels, bunkers and towers in northern Poland, once a cutting-edge oil refinery, reveals its former role as a pivotal part of Hitler’s war machine. GO The Split BBC One, 9.00pm Abi Morgan’s legal drama hurries on apace with further revelations drawing us deeper into the lives of Hannah (Nicola Walker) and her dysfunctional family of lawyers. Tonight, things get heated in a case involving frozen embryos, and matriarch Ruth (Deborah Findlay) is evasive over finances. Later Live: with Jools Holland BBC Two, 10.00pm Returning for a 52nd series, Jools Holland welcomes more acts to play live in studio. Among them are Snow Patrol, Plan B, Bettye Lavette, and rising stars Shame and Jade Bird. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle: The Engagement Interview BBC One, 11.40pm; NI/Wales, 12.05am; Scot, 12.45am In case you won’t catch the endless clips in royal wedding-related programming over the next 10 days, here’s a repeat of the interview the couple gave Mishal Husain at Kensington Palace last year on the day they announced their engagement. GO My Cousin Rachel (2017) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 2.30pm and 11.30pm “Did she? Didn’t she?” ponders stricken hero Philip Ashley about the titular character and the possible murder of her husband/his cousin. This is based on Daphne du Maurier’s 1951 novel, but there was also a film version in 1952, an Eighties BBC version, on radio, and on the stage. Young Philip, the heir to a fortune, is played in Roger Michell’s stylish but sexless adaptation by a rakish Sam Claflin. Hot Fuzz (2007) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s follow-up to the cult comedy-horror Shaun of the Dead (and the second chapter in the Cornetto Trilogy) reunites Pegg with Nick Frost in the story of two policemen who uncover a conspiracy in a Somerset village. Timothy Dalton is a sinister triumph as a millionaire baddy. Sharp, funny and with explosive action scenes, it’s a very British action-comedy that does everything it should. Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice? (1969) ★★★☆☆ Talking Pictures TV, 9.00pm This is the third in a trilogy of Robert Aldrich-produced films (following What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte). It also features two female leads – this time, an Arizona widow (Geraldine Page) hires housekeepers to con them out of their money before murdering them, but Ruth Gordon’s Alice Dimmock isn’t easily fooled. Wednesday 9 May Healthy outlook: Fearnley-Whittingstall with volunteer Janet Credit: BBC Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall BBC One, 9.00pm; Scotland, 10.45pm He tried to get Newcastle exercising together and demonstrated to the unconvinced in Bristol just how much sugar there is in a smoothie, now, in this final episode, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall faces his toughest test of all – he heading to the Tory Party Conference to speak about obesity and attempting to get an audience with Health Minister Jeremy Hunt. But can he convince the ministers – and the hard-to-pin-down Hunt – that they need to do more to combat both national awareness of what we eat and the country’s fitness levels? First, he checks in with some of those who have signed up for the Newcastle Can scheme; heads out for a surfing lesson with Janet, a willing but struggling participant; trials a weight-loss experiment at the GP’s surgery and looks at the way in which marketing affects our understanding of food. Whether or not he manages to replicate the impact that Jamie Oliver had on the government during his school dinners campaign remains to be seen, but this impassioned series will surely have convinced the UK’s couch potatoes that it’s time to embrace the sunnier weather and start walking. Sarah Hughes DanceWorks: Choreographing History BBC Four, 7.30pm “With contemporary dance we don’t inherit ready-made stories, so we have to make up our own,” says choreographer Shobana Jeyasingh in this fascinating film. Jeyasingh’s latest work, Contagion, takes the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic as its subject, and this documentary follows her as she translates her research into a haunting, beautiful piece of work. The Secret Life of the Zoo Channel 4, 8.00pm The fallout from orangutan Emma’s pregnancy continues this week as the new mother pushes away the older child to raise the baby, leaving the zoo staff increasingly worried as to how the abandoned youth will cope. Mystery of the Lost Paintings Sky Arts, 8.00pm This episode examines the 1958 fire at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, which destroyed two of Monet’s famous Water Lily paintings, before attempting to digitally reconstruct one of the damaged works. Love in the Countryside BBC Two, 9.00pm Everything moves up a gear as lovelorn dairy farmers Pete and Ed invite their three prospective partners over for a weekend. Cue early issues as fiftysomethings Helen and Caroline struggle in the face of thirtysomething Frannie’s more obvious assets. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm It’s an emotional finale at the Birmingham Women’s Hospital as we meet Lauren and Rachel, who are preparing for a second child, and Urwah and Nadhia, who are about to meet their fifth. Meanwhile, Laura and Paul, friends turned lovers, have nine kids between them and another on the way. Harry & Meghan: A Love Story Sky One, 9.00pm Bafta-winning film-maker Toby Sculthorp turns his eye to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, talking to close friends and former head of the British Army, Richard Dannatt. SH Tortured By Mum and Dad: The Turpin 13 Channel 5, 10.00pm When 13 children were discovered shackled and starved by their parents, David and Louise Turpin earlier this year, it made global headlines. This documentary returns to the case, asking how the pair managed to hide their terrible secret for so long. A Walk in the Woods (2015) ★★☆☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Robert Redford turns Bill Bryson’s elegant travelogue about his middle-aged attempt on the Appalachian Trail – a 2,000-mile trek through the eastern United States – into a sloppy sitcom. The great American outdoors, however, are shot in picturesque fashion. Nick Nolte and Emma Thompson star as Bryson’s travelling partners, who at least reveal that the human condition is no walk in the park. Scream (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 10.00pm Wes Craven rebooted the teenage-horror genre with Scream. It’s gory, but clever and funny, too, particularly in its own self-awareness: the characters talk constantly about being in a slasher movie. And Craven wrong-foots us with a terrific opening sequence that gleefully breaks the rules of film-making. Courteney Cox and Neve Campbell star. The sequel Scream 2 is on Friday at 11.00pm. I Love You, Man (2009) ★★★★☆ 5STAR, 11.00pm Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. Thursday 10 May Michael C Hall (centre) in Safe Credit: Netflix Safe Netflix, from today For the man who played serial-killing forensics expert Dexter and funeral director David in Six Feet Under, it’s fitting that we first encounter Michael C Hall’s latest deeply flawed antihero, Tom Delaney, by his wife’s grave in this opening set-piece of his new drama. This UK-set eight-parter then skips forward six years, with Tom (Hall’s English accent is pretty passable) managing two teenage daughters, his work as a paediatric surgeon and life in a “safe” gated community. What becomes rapidly clear is that his neighbours are also nursing guilty secrets and haunted by past failures: from best mate Marc Warren and Amanda Abbingdon’s dogged detective to Nigel Lindsay’s jovial life-and-soul type. Then Tom’s oldest daughter goes missing during a house party, and skeletons tumble out of closets in an enjoyably twist-riddled affair. The first collaboration between Safe’s co-creators, bestselling novelist Harlan Coben and screenwriter Danny Brocklehurst (Accused; Ordinary Lies; Come Home), marries the former’s love of a cliffhanger and skill with fast-paced narrative with the latter’s facility for character and emotional insight. Gabriel Tate PGA Tour Golf: The Players Championship Sky Sports the Players, 12.30pm It’s day one of the tournament widely regarded as the unofficial fifth Major, held at TPC Sawgrass in Florida. Last year, Kim Si-Woo, at 21, became the youngest champion in Players history and it was much deserved: his was a nerveless display that belied his young age. Danceworks: Prejudice and Passion BBC Four, 7.30pm Choreographer Carlos Pons Guerra invites the cameras into his latest production for children at the Birmingham Rep, a work challenging assumptions of gender and identity with its story of two male penguins raising a chick together. Premier League Football: West Ham United v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm Looking to secure their safety, relegation-threatened West Ham United welcome Manchester United to the Olympic Stadium. The Hammers will need to banish the memories of their last match against Man United, when Anthony Martial, Paul Pogba and a brace from Romelu Lukaku gave Jose Mourinho’s side a 4-0 win. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm Rylan Clark-Neal and Scott Mills are joined by British Eurovision hopeful SuRie to introduce coverage of the second semi-final from Lisbon, with 10 of the 18 featured acts making it to Saturday’s final. Food Unwrapped: China Special Channel 4, 8.00pm Jimmy Doherty and his team explore artisanal and commercial methods of production for garlic, noodles, soy sauce and fortune cookies. Red Ape: Saving the Orangutan BBC Two, 9.00pm This alarming and frequently harrowing documentary makes direct connections between Borneo’s plummeting orangutan population, the boom in illegal animal trading and rocketing global demand for palm oil, but there are glimmers of hope, due to the ceaseless diligence of local activists. Urban Myths: David Bowie and Marc Bolan Sky Arts, 9.00pm Luke Treadaway and Jack Whitehall star as the teenage David Bowie and Marc Bolan in this by turns silly and oddly poignant comedy of two icons bonding, bickering and dreaming of stardom while earning a crust decorating their manager’s office. GT Riot Girls Channel 4, 10.00pm A gleefully ribald new prank show from the supremely talented and smart quartet of Grace Campbell, Jen Wakefield, Cam Spence and Sophie Duker, using stunts to highlight the casual sexism and gender inequality in society from manspreading on the tube to contraception. It’s as crude as it is funny and effective. Great Art ITV, 10.45pm; not STV Tim Marlow’s admirably unadorned visual arts series returns to profile a man not unscrutinised over the years, but if this pen portrait fails to add much new to the David Hockney story, it’s an efficient and entertaining primer, focusing on his Royal Academy landscape and portraiture exhibitions of 2012 and 2016. GT The Bourne Supremacy (2004) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Continuing the story of Jason Bourne, this sequel sees the former assassin (Matt Damon) living in Goa with his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente) when a Russian assassin arrives to plunge him back into the deep end of a CIA conspiracy. While this is not quite on a par with the first film, Paul Greengrass’s direction is typically exhilarating, and Joan Allen and Brian Cox lend excellent support. Cocktail (1988) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 11.10pm Tom Cruise plays a tequila-tossing barman in this romantic drama which cashed in on his heart-throb image. After leaving the army, Brian (Cruise) gets a job working in a Manhattan bar. His Martini mentor is Doug (Bryan Brown), who soon teaches him the tricks of the trade, but when the pair fall out over a girl, Brian heads for the Caribbean. It’s a bland concoction but strangely agreeable. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) ★★★★☆ Film4, 11.15pm This startling debut by Marielle Heller shows the funny side of a teenager’s explorations into her sexuality as a 15-year-old wannabe cartoonist Minnie (Bel Powley) seduces her mother’s 35-year-old boyfriend Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård). Heller’s nimble direction and clever script ensure that the film never paints either Minnie or Monroe entirely as victim or predator. Friday 11 May Thure Lindhardt and Sofia Helin in The Bridge Credit: BBC The Bridge BBC Two, 9.00pm With the exception perhaps of Wallander, of all the Scandi-noir characters that we’ve seen in recent years it is The Bridge’s Saga Norén (Sofia Helin), a committed Malmö detective with a level of social dysfunction that implies autism, who has burrowed deepest into the hearts of UK viewers. She struggles to cope emotionally with the world around her, but that only makes us like her all the more. When last we saw Saga, at the close of series three two years ago, she had solved another major murder case but stood accused herself of killing her abusive mother. At least she had the consolation of meeting a soulmate of sorts in Henrik Sabroe (Thure Lindhardt), a police colleague from across the Øresund bridge linking Sweden and Denmark, and a man deeply damaged by the murder of his wife and the disappearance of his two young daughters. At the start of this instantly gripping fourth and final series, things are not looking good for Saga as she wakes up in a cold, grey, unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile, Henrik is called to the scene of a particularly grizzly murder in Copenhagen that has a link to the controversial deportation of an Iranian illegal immigrant. Gerard O’Donovan Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist Netflix, from today A bank raid gone wrong, a horrific bomb-collar murder, a cat and mouse hunt by the FBI to track down a former beauty queen turned self-styled criminal. This anticipated documentary picks apart the bizarre story of the so-called “pizza bomber heist” that gripped the city of Erie, Pennsylvania, in 2003. Fifteen years later, the discovery of new evidence suggests that the story could be even more strange. The One Show: NHS Patients Awards Special BBC One, 7.00pm A special edition marking the 70th anniversary of the NHS and celebrating the work of doctors, nurses and medical staff who deliver outstanding care – as nominated by viewers and the Patients Association. Matt Baker and Alex Jones present. BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm Violinist Nicola Benedetti and trumpeter Alison Balsom join presenter Josie D’Arby for the competition’s semi-final, in which five individual category winners – including percussionist Matthew Brett, cellist Maxim Calver and saxophonist Robert Burton – compete for a place in the final. The judges include conductor Jessica Cottis and composer Kerry Andrew. GO Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Krishnan Guru-Murthy reports from the popular tourist resorts of the Dominican Republic, where a UN investigation has uncovered shocking crimes against young people at the hands of sex tourists. Britain’s Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson Channel 5, 8.00pm In the final programme of his excellent series, Tony Robinson recounts the tangled – and entertaining – history of Winchester Cathedral, whose bishops were once among the richest, most influential and worst behaved in Britain – and where one of England’s greatest novelists, Jane Austen, is buried. Portillo’s Hidden History of Britain Channel 5, 9.00pm Bringing his foray to a close, former defence secretary Michael Portillo visits the village of Imber on the Salisbury Plain, which was taken over by the Army in 1943 for use as a wartime training ground and, despite promises to the contrary, still remains in the hands of the military. GO Test Cricket: Ireland v Pakistan Sky Sports Main Event, 11.50pm A historic occasion, this, as Ireland play their first-ever Test match, with Pakistan as the opposition at Malahide Cricket Club. Over the next few years, Ireland will have 60-65 home internationals, including 15 Test matches. Uncapped batsman Imam-ul-Haq, the nephew of former skipper Inzamam, has been named in Pakistan’s squad. Northern Soul (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 11.15pm The nostalgia is potent in this chronicle of the popular northern soul dance halls in the Seventies. The soundtrack is as evocative and wonderful as you might expect, and the drama offers a charming slice of social and cultural Lancashire history. It’s just a shame that the storyline has to follow the same innocent young man led astray/conflict-resolution story arc of nearly every coming-of-age film out there. Buried (2010) ★★★☆☆ BBC One, 11.55pm; N Ireland, 12.25am Ryan Reynolds plays an American truck driver ambushed in Iraq and buried by insurgents in a coffin, with only a phone and a Zippo lighter at his disposal. One might assume the dramatic opportunities for a man in this predicament are finite, but Chris Sparling’s inventive screenplay and Rodrigo Cortés’ direction open up the story beyond the confines of the space in which Reynolds is trapped. The Crying Game (1992) ★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.05am Neil Jordan’s tremendous psychological thriller, set against the backdrop of the Irish Troubles, still contains one of the great cinematic twists. Stephen Rea stars as Provisional IRA volunteer Fergus, who helps to kidnap a British soldier (US actor Forest Whitaker) in order to secure the release of jailed IRA members. However, things go wrong when Fergus begins to form a bond with his prisoner. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
Friday 4 May Friday Night Dinner Channel 4, 10.00pm Friday Night Dinner is a one of those sitcoms that you either love or loathe, depending on your appreciation of slapstick and smutty jokes. Whichever camp you are in, the comedy has made it to a fifth series. And for those who do love it, this opening episode sees brothers Adam and Jonny (Simon Bird and Tom Rosenthal) turn up for their standard Friday night dinner, only to discover their parents Martin and Jackie (Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig) enjoying their new hot tub (because it is apparently still the Seventies) and planning Chinese takeaway. That all changes, however, once their hapless neighbour Jim (Mark Heap) decides to leave his dog with them because of he has a hot date. Cue lots of “jokes” about internet food, furtive sex and whether going to the takeaway down the road is “very 1930s”. The excellent cast all do their best – Rosenthal is particularly good at drily delivering the put-downs – but creator Robert Popper’s farce-heavy script requires them to do far too much heavy lifting. By the time Jim appears at the door with dirt-streaked hands and a compulsively giggling lady friend, you may find yourself silently weeping at the clunky agony of it all. SH Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Rania Abouzeid reports from Kabul, where kidnappings are a daily occurrence. Here, Abouzeid explores two cases – one involving a teenager who has been held for nine months – and discovers that there are no easy answers. This is a bleak but important piece of reporting. SH Home from Home BBC One, 9.30pm The ghost of Ever Decreasing Circles continues to haunt this amiable sitcom, although it lacks the dark edge of the Richard Briers hit. Here, a fed-up Neil (Johnny Vegas) throws a party, much to his snobby neighbour Robert’s (Adam James) delight. SH Episodes BBC Two, 10.00pm; Wales, 11.05pm The final series of the acerbic satire of Hollywood has been an absolute delight. And that continues with this episode as Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Bev (Tamsin Greig) discover just how far Matt (Matt LeBlanc) is prepared to go in order to get a co-creator credit. SH High & Dry Channel 4, 10.30pm Marc Wootton’s comedy about a group of plane crash survivors initially seems behind the times given that Lost ended eight years ago. However, stick with it because Wootton is in fine comedy monster mode as air steward Brett. Plus, the whole thing perks up once Vicky Pepperdine arrives as indomitable survivor Harriet. SH Too Fat for Love BBC Three, from 10.00am There’s a touch of the Carrie Bradshaw’s about this film in which vlogger Emma B asks the question: are we [the plus-sized community] too fat for love? To answer that, Emma talks to other plus-sized women, tries out life modelling and attends a sex tips class. The result is an entertaining film that is particularly astute about the way in which society portrays larger people. SH The Jazz Ambassadors BBC Four, 9.00pm This intriguing documentary tells the story of how congressman Adam Clayton Powell Jr convinced President Eisenhower to use jazz artists as cultural ambassadors, sending them on global tours to tackle Soviet propaganda. As the tours progressed, the musicians, including Louis Armstrong, found themselves increasingly conflicted: how could they promote America as the Land of the Free when the US’s Jim Crow segregation laws made them second-class citizens back home? SH Dunkirk (2017) ★★★★★ Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm Director Christopher Nolan (who, bafflingly, is still yet to win an Oscar), takes a novel approach to the Dunkirk evacuation. Told through three separate perspectives, taking place in the air, the sea and on land, the film is a disorientating, dazzling, superbly crafted tribute to their bravery. Tom Hardy, Kenneth Branagh, Mark Rylance and Harry Styles are among the cast. Magic Mike (2012) ★★★★☆ E4, 9.00pm Steven Soderbergh made a surprise decision to tackle the world of male strippers in Tampa, Florida, and exceeded every expectation: it’s one of his most enjoyable movies. Channing Tatum, in a story based on his own pre-Hollywood career, is revelatory – and Soderbergh works similar wonders with young star Alex Pettyfer and the resurgent Matthew McConaughey as the club’s smooth-talking, cowboy-hat-wearing owner. Non-Stop (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Liam Neeson is the dolorous air marshal who spends most of this film bounding up and down the aisle of a hijacked plane with a time-bomb under his arm in a plot so absurd that you can’t help but smile. Every passenger is a suspect, even Julianne Moore’s sweet heart-surgery patient. But Neeson wears the action-hero mantle so comfortably nowadays that you’ll become engrossed. Saturday 5 May Is that your final answer? Jeremy Clarkson takes over as host Credit: ITV Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? ITV, 9.15pm Judith Keppel winning, the Coughing Major cheating, Chris Tarrant smirking – for a brief period at the turn of the century Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? was the hottest programme on TV. One episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers and the show went on to inspire a bestselling novel, Q&A, which in turn became Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s 2008 Oscar-winning film. In truth, the quiz series only left TV screens four years ago, but it’s the heady early years that ITV is clearly hoping to repeat with this new version to commemorate the 20th anniversaryof the programme. So, what can we expect? It will air every night this week, and there’s a new host, Jeremy Clarkson, who’s roaring in to replace Tarrant. The old lifeline favourites – Phone a Friend, Ask the Audience and 50/50 – remain in place, although ITV have confirmed that there will be a fourth – Ask the Host. Contestants will also be allowed to set their own safety net, traditionally £32,000, once they reach question five. But is it possible for this version to capture the public’s imagination in these days of peak TV? One thing is certain: Clarkson has just the right amount of cocky charm to make a go of it as host. Sarah Hughes Happy Tent Tales CBeebies iPlayer,from today The BBC’s preschool series of live-action folk tales continues with five traditional stories presented by Karina O’Malley. There’s Welsh fairy tale The Golden Harp, traditional Scottish fable The Eagle and the Wren, and a lovely take on one of Aesop’s best, The Fox and the Crow. Rugby Union: Army v Navy Sky Sports Arena, 2.45pm Twickenham is the setting as the two Armed Forces compete for the Babcock trophy. Women’s FA Cup Football: Arsenal Women v Chelsea Ladies BBC One, 5.10pm Arsenal Women take on Chelsea Ladies in the final of the FA Cup, which takes place at Wembley Stadium. Fourteen-time winners Arsenal overcame Everton Ladies 2-1 in their semi-final, while Chelsea defeated the holders Manchester City 2-0. This match is a repeat of the 2016 fixture, in which the Gunners emerged victorious 1-0, thanks to Danielle Carter’s early strike. Beatles Night Sky Arts, from 6.00pm Sky Arts celebrates all things Fab Four with films tracing The Beatles from their humble beginnings to the heady heights of becoming the most famous pop band in the world. First up is My Beatles Black Album with Charles Hazlewood, in which the composer creates a mix of solo tracks by members of the band. The Beatles: From Liverpool to San Francisco then charts the band from their days playing in the Cavern Club to their US success. That’s followed by Ben Lewis’s recent The Beatles, Hippies & Hells Angels which looks at the rise and fall of their multimedia arm Apple Corps. SH Britain’s Got Talent ITV, 8.00pm With two golden buzzer acts already through to the live semi-finals, the fourth round of auditions heats up as more hopefuls strive to impress Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm It’s time to uncover Britain’s “Most Regency” town – and if eager Georgette Heyer fans were about to shout Bath, you are wrong. The answer, it turns out, is Cheltenham. Alice Roberts learns about Regency etiquette and uncovers why the pigeon is so important to the spa town. Casualty BBC One, 9.15pm Fans of the long-running medical drama get a treat here as the magnificently icy consultant Connie Beauchamp (Amanda Mealing) returns to work and instantly begins to reassert her authority. Elsewhere, doctor Ethan (George Rainsford) gets a shock when he visits the spot where his brother was murdered. The Great Rameses: New Evidence Revealed Channel 5, 10.10pm Channel 5’s latest series is a pretty straightforward but interesting-enough trawl through Ancient Egyptian history. The series begins with the story of Rameses II, who defeated the Hittites and was subsequently declared a living god by his people. SH Casablanca (1942, b/w) ★★★★★ ITV3, 3.00pm Humphrey Bogart’s Rick runs the American Bar in the eponymous Moroccan city, while Ingrid Bergman is the old flame who forces him to choose between his own heart and the fight against Nazism. Seventy six years on, Michael Curtiz’s Oscar-winning romantic drama is still a film to make the spirit soar; its finely drawn characters, quotable dialogue and haunting music have become iconic. Kajaki (2014) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 10.00pm; N Ireland, 11.00pm This tense film from Paul Katis tells the true story of British soldiers trapped in a mine-laden riverbed in Afghanistan. It not only convinces with its gory effects, but also with the agony each mine inflicts, and the delirium added when each man doses up with morphine: the acting from a uniformly strong ensemble cast, including Game of Thrones’s Mark Stanley, puts you right there. Sex and the City 2 (2010) ★★☆☆☆ ITV, 10.35pm SatC stalwarts will want a bite of this second film from the Big Apple franchise, but New York City is no more as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and friends head to Abu Dhabi. The fashion is outrageous, there’s a gay wedding with a swan, and Liza Minnelli does Beyoncé, but the whole thing is culturally insensitive and the women morph into cartoon characters. Turn off your brain and enjoy spending time with these old friends. Sunday 6 May Benoit Blin, Tom Allen, Liam Charles and Cherish Finden. Credit: Channel 4 Bake Off: The Professionals Channel 4, 8.00pm Completing the trifecta of Great British Bake Off shows that have switched from the BBC to Channel 4 is this competition for professional pâtissiers, formerly called Crème de la Crème. The six-part contest has wisely retained judges Benoit Blin and Cherish Finden, and hired new hosts in comedian Tom Allen and newcomer Liam Charles, who appeared in last year’s Bake Off. The format sees 12 teams of two pastry chefs compete in confectionery wars, beginning with the first half dozen. They’re tasked with making 24 tartes aux fruits and 24 tartes conversations [a sort of French Bakewell tart] followed by a show-stopping edible structure based on a Black Forest gâteau. The tension spikes as temperatures rise inside Firle Place in East Sussex, where it’s filmed – sweltering heat leads to high drama when contestants’ chocolate sculptures look in danger of toppling over. The appeal of the contest is in the staggering quality of the complicated pastries and edible works of art that the chefs turn out, which understandably knock the offerings of Bake Off’s amateurs into a cocked hat. And judges Blin and Finden are as theatrical as they are hard to please. This results in a scrumptious hour of food fetishism. Vicki Power Premier League Football: Chelsea v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 3.30pm Having won their last four games, Chelsea go into this match against third-placed Liverpool in good form. The Blues’ defence will have to be at its best, though: in Mohamed Salah, Liverpool have the most dangerous attacker in the league, and he’ll relish the opportunity to score against the club that sold him to Roma in 2016. When these sides met at Anfield, an 85th-minute goal from Willian ensured Chelsea salvaged a 1-1 draw. The Big Painting Challenge BBC One, 6.00pm It’s the final of this uplifting painting contest for amateurs, and the quartet of finalists relocate to Chatham Dockyards, where they must paint self-portraits. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm The arrival of the circus to Corfu provides the magic to bring Louisa (Keeley Hawes) and the recently separated Spiro (Alexis Georgoulis) ever closer in an emotional final episode of this beguiling drama. In fact, all of the Durrells have relationship upheavals, teeing up the action nicely for a fourth series. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Wilkie Collins’s Gothic thriller continues to compel in this fresh adaptation. In the penultimate episode, the women continue to suffer – clued-up Marian (Jessie Buckley) still has fever, rendering her unable to save her clueless half-sister Laura (Olivia Vinall) from the big twist we all know is coming. Ballet’s Dark Knight: Sir Kenneth MacMillan BBC Four, 9.00pm Darcey Bussell and Monica Mason are among the ballet stars who pay tribute to the choreographer Kenneth MacMillan in this excellent new biopic. Bussell, who worked with him at the age of 19, recalls how hard he pushed his dancers: “Nothing was ever good enough.” With contributions from MacMillan’s widow, Australian artist Deborah Williams, the documentary celebrates how the former artistic director of the Royal Ballet transformed ballet from polite pirouetting to a gritty, sexy art form. Michael Clark’s To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song BBC Four, 10.00pm Filmed at the Barbican in 2017, maverick choreographer Michael Clark’s acclaimed To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song is a mesmerising three-act piece in which he pays tribute to his greatest influences: punk music, Erik Satie and David Bowie. It is introduced here by Jarvis Cocker. VP Walter Presents: Tabula Rasa Channel 4, 10.15pm Belgium gives the Nordic lands a run for their money with another top-notch TV thriller. This nine-parter follows Mie D’Haeze (Veerle Baetens), an amnesiac psychiatric patient who finds she’s been implicated in a missing persons case. Her disturbed mind makes sorting the truth from fantasy virtually impossible. VP Megamind (2010) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 2.30pm DreamWorks’ fun tale of a Mekon-like, inept baddie is weird and witty. Directed by Tom McGrath, who was behind Madagascar, Will Ferrell leads voice duties, with funny turns from David Cross as his deputy, Minion, and Brad Pitt as his vain, buff, Aryan nemesis, the perpetually victorious Metro Man. An amusing quirk of Megamind’s is his affected pronunciation – he pronounces Metro City to rhyme with atrocity. The Boxtrolls (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 2.50pm There’s a cheerfully grotesque streak to this Oscar-winning stop-motion animation from the makers of Coraline and ParaNorman. In the town of Cheesebridge, a human boy raised by boxtrolls – trash-collecting creatures who live under the sewers wearing cardboard boxes – vows to save them from a villainous pest exterminator. It’s an endearing set-up and the carnival feel should please both adults and children. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 6.10pm The denouement to Peter Jackson’s grandiose adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s epic is the one that scooped an Oscar. Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) arrive at Mount Doom to destroy the Ring, both helped and hindered by the loathsome Gollum. Jackson’s only misjudgement is that the film meanders on for around half an hour after the real action is over. Bank Holiday Monday Peter Kay and Sian Gibson Credit: BBC Peter Kay’s Car Share Unscripted BBC One, 10.00pm The emergence of this improvised episode and the official climax to Peter Kay’s sitcom (airing next Bank Holiday Monday) is a treat for all sorts of reasons. Firstly, it would seem to allay concerns prompted by the comedian’s sudden cancellation of an extensive stand-up tour late last year. Secondly, it may offer closure to the many viewers left distraught by the cliffhanger ending to the second series, which saw straight-talking, outwardly stern John (Kay) fail to respond to the declaration of love proffered by co-worker and unsinkable romantic Kayleigh (Sian Gibson). And thirdly, it will mean one more hour in the company of these two beautifully drawn characters who felt like old friends from the moment they first appeared on our screens in 2015. This opening salvo sees Kay and Gibson ad-libbing in character, attempting to corpse each other with a ruthless lack of professionalism as John and Kayleigh drive home on their daily commute in John’s Fiat 500, their only company being the cheesy oldies radio station Forever FM. Don’t expect resolutions yet; instead, sit back and enjoy two fine performers rustling comic magic up out of thin air. Gabriel Tate The £100k Drop Channel 4, 4.00pm It has a new teatime slot and a 10th of the previous prize money, but Davina McCall is still in situ for this entertaining game show of general knowledge and playing the odds. Tenko True Entertainment, 6.00pm The classic BBC drama set in a Japanese POW camp for British, Dutch and Australian women interned after the fall of Singapore in 1942 is being aired every weeknight at 6.00pm. It’s unflinching in its explorations of friendship, sexuality and the degradations of war. Danceworks: The Dying Swan BBC Four, 7.30pm Beginning four consecutive nights of films exploring the world of British dance today, former Royal Ballet principal Zenaida Yanowsky explores the physical toll of her career as she attempts one final post-surgery comeback. Dispatches: Britain’s Benefits Crisis Channel 4, 7.30pm Morland Sanders investigates the Government’s roll-out of the Universal Credit scheme. It is ostensibly aimed at simplifying the benefits system but instead it is dogged by controversy, cuts to provisions and administrative glitches. ATP Masters Tennis: The Mutua Madrid Open Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm It’s the opening day of play in the clay-court tournament at the Caja Magica, where world number one and home favourite Rafael Nadal – in formidable form – is the event’s reigning champion. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Fiona Seres’s impressively sustained exploration of brutal, brittle masculinity and the stout resistance of their intended victims reaches a gripping climax as Lura (Olivia Vinall) and Marian (Jessie Buckley) strike back against the devious Fosco (Riccardo Scamarcio) and thuggish Sir Percival (Dougray Scott). The Road to Palmyra BBC Four, 9.00pm Ebullient historian Dan Cruickshank and wry photographer Don McCullin make an odd couple, yet their journey through a ravaged Syria casts new light on both the conflict as well as what the material and spiritual costs will be for future generations. GT Genderquake Channel 4, 9.00pm This gimmicky but occasionally enlightening TV experiment puts 11 strangers with different attitudes towards gender and sexuality in a house together for a week: prejudices are aired, preconceptions challenged and romances kindled. It concludes on Tuesday with further revelations and realisations, as well as a debate on the issues raised at 10.00pm. GT Forrest Gump (1994) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 9.00pm Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama is full of spirit – even if, at times, it’s slightly saccharine. Forrest (Tom Hanks) is a simpleton with a heart of gold, who, ever true to the homely advice of his mother (Sally Field) is reflecting on his improbable life as a Vietnam War hero, table-tennis champion and accidental millionaire. Hanks, depending on your sentimentality threshold, may prove to be adorable. Notting Hill (1999) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.20pm This is the second of Richard Curtis’s romcoms, after Four Weddings and a Funeral, about bumbling good eggs and frightfully pretty girls. Hugh Grant plays a London bookseller who attracts the attention of a film star (Julia Roberts) – it’s amusing, in particular when Grant’s character ineptly poses as a journalist from Horse & Hound magazine at a press junket for her sci-fi movie. Papillon (1973) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 11.00pm Based on the autobiography of petty criminal Henri Charrière – nicknamed Papillon because of his butterfly tattoo – this powerful prison drama is set in the infamous French penal colony Devil’s Island. Steve McQueen impressively stars as the title character, desperate to escape Devil’s Island’s gruesome brutality. Dustin Hoffman gives memorable support as his friend, the small-time fraudster Louis Dega. Tuesday 8 May Inspirational: Kate Humble with Emma and some alpacas Credit: BBC Back to the Land with Kate Humble BBC Two, 7.00pm There aren’t many TV shows that merit the word “inspirational” but Kate Humble’s series looking at the lives and work of entrepreneurial countryside pioneers around the UK does. Here she returns for another 12-part run, beginning by visiting four new start-ups in Cornwall which were prompted by a perceived gap in the market. Her clear favourites – she returns again and again to check on their progress – are free-diving seaweed harvesters Caro and Tim. This sustainability-aware pair were looking to work locally when they realised that, despite seaweed becoming more fashionable as a cooking ingredient, no one was harvesting the plentiful supply in the sea near them. Much hard work and ingenuity later, it’s an unlikely business idea that looks set to be a winner. Humble also meets a couple who reversed their farm’s declining fortunes by taking a leap of faith into free-range duck breeding, two best friends who supply native-flower bouquets to Cornwall’s booming high-end wedding market and a lavishly bearded brewer whose wild foraging in the local fields and hedgerows supplies the ingredients for his uniquely flavoured “wild” beers. Gerard O’Donovan Danceworks: Street to Stage BBC Four, 7.30pm Rising British star Dickson Mbi displays a range of talents in this film following him and his hip-hop popping team, Fiya House, competing in an international street dance competition. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm The Eurovision song contest circus kicks off tonight in Lisbon with the first semi-final featuring 19 countries (including Ireland) of the record-equalling 43 competing this year. UK fans have to wait for Saturday’s Grand Final to hear SuRie sing our entry, Storm. The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds Channel 4, 8.00pm The first in a two-part special exploring how children learn the difference between right and wrong, as another class of five-year-olds are challenged to decide if it’s OK to cheat and what to do when someone tells you a secret. Abandoned Engineering Yesterday, 8.00pm The series exploring mysterious abandoned buildings returns for a second series. This week, a vast labyrinth of crumbling tunnels, bunkers and towers in northern Poland, once a cutting-edge oil refinery, reveals its former role as a pivotal part of Hitler’s war machine. GO The Split BBC One, 9.00pm Abi Morgan’s legal drama hurries on apace with further revelations drawing us deeper into the lives of Hannah (Nicola Walker) and her dysfunctional family of lawyers. Tonight, things get heated in a case involving frozen embryos, and matriarch Ruth (Deborah Findlay) is evasive over finances. Later Live: with Jools Holland BBC Two, 10.00pm Returning for a 52nd series, Jools Holland welcomes more acts to play live in studio. Among them are Snow Patrol, Plan B, Bettye Lavette, and rising stars Shame and Jade Bird. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle: The Engagement Interview BBC One, 11.40pm; NI/Wales, 12.05am; Scot, 12.45am In case you won’t catch the endless clips in royal wedding-related programming over the next 10 days, here’s a repeat of the interview the couple gave Mishal Husain at Kensington Palace last year on the day they announced their engagement. GO My Cousin Rachel (2017) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 2.30pm and 11.30pm “Did she? Didn’t she?” ponders stricken hero Philip Ashley about the titular character and the possible murder of her husband/his cousin. This is based on Daphne du Maurier’s 1951 novel, but there was also a film version in 1952, an Eighties BBC version, on radio, and on the stage. Young Philip, the heir to a fortune, is played in Roger Michell’s stylish but sexless adaptation by a rakish Sam Claflin. Hot Fuzz (2007) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s follow-up to the cult comedy-horror Shaun of the Dead (and the second chapter in the Cornetto Trilogy) reunites Pegg with Nick Frost in the story of two policemen who uncover a conspiracy in a Somerset village. Timothy Dalton is a sinister triumph as a millionaire baddy. Sharp, funny and with explosive action scenes, it’s a very British action-comedy that does everything it should. Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice? (1969) ★★★☆☆ Talking Pictures TV, 9.00pm This is the third in a trilogy of Robert Aldrich-produced films (following What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte). It also features two female leads – this time, an Arizona widow (Geraldine Page) hires housekeepers to con them out of their money before murdering them, but Ruth Gordon’s Alice Dimmock isn’t easily fooled. Wednesday 9 May Healthy outlook: Fearnley-Whittingstall with volunteer Janet Credit: BBC Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall BBC One, 9.00pm; Scotland, 10.45pm He tried to get Newcastle exercising together and demonstrated to the unconvinced in Bristol just how much sugar there is in a smoothie, now, in this final episode, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall faces his toughest test of all – he heading to the Tory Party Conference to speak about obesity and attempting to get an audience with Health Minister Jeremy Hunt. But can he convince the ministers – and the hard-to-pin-down Hunt – that they need to do more to combat both national awareness of what we eat and the country’s fitness levels? First, he checks in with some of those who have signed up for the Newcastle Can scheme; heads out for a surfing lesson with Janet, a willing but struggling participant; trials a weight-loss experiment at the GP’s surgery and looks at the way in which marketing affects our understanding of food. Whether or not he manages to replicate the impact that Jamie Oliver had on the government during his school dinners campaign remains to be seen, but this impassioned series will surely have convinced the UK’s couch potatoes that it’s time to embrace the sunnier weather and start walking. Sarah Hughes DanceWorks: Choreographing History BBC Four, 7.30pm “With contemporary dance we don’t inherit ready-made stories, so we have to make up our own,” says choreographer Shobana Jeyasingh in this fascinating film. Jeyasingh’s latest work, Contagion, takes the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic as its subject, and this documentary follows her as she translates her research into a haunting, beautiful piece of work. The Secret Life of the Zoo Channel 4, 8.00pm The fallout from orangutan Emma’s pregnancy continues this week as the new mother pushes away the older child to raise the baby, leaving the zoo staff increasingly worried as to how the abandoned youth will cope. Mystery of the Lost Paintings Sky Arts, 8.00pm This episode examines the 1958 fire at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, which destroyed two of Monet’s famous Water Lily paintings, before attempting to digitally reconstruct one of the damaged works. Love in the Countryside BBC Two, 9.00pm Everything moves up a gear as lovelorn dairy farmers Pete and Ed invite their three prospective partners over for a weekend. Cue early issues as fiftysomethings Helen and Caroline struggle in the face of thirtysomething Frannie’s more obvious assets. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm It’s an emotional finale at the Birmingham Women’s Hospital as we meet Lauren and Rachel, who are preparing for a second child, and Urwah and Nadhia, who are about to meet their fifth. Meanwhile, Laura and Paul, friends turned lovers, have nine kids between them and another on the way. Harry & Meghan: A Love Story Sky One, 9.00pm Bafta-winning film-maker Toby Sculthorp turns his eye to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, talking to close friends and former head of the British Army, Richard Dannatt. SH Tortured By Mum and Dad: The Turpin 13 Channel 5, 10.00pm When 13 children were discovered shackled and starved by their parents, David and Louise Turpin earlier this year, it made global headlines. This documentary returns to the case, asking how the pair managed to hide their terrible secret for so long. A Walk in the Woods (2015) ★★☆☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Robert Redford turns Bill Bryson’s elegant travelogue about his middle-aged attempt on the Appalachian Trail – a 2,000-mile trek through the eastern United States – into a sloppy sitcom. The great American outdoors, however, are shot in picturesque fashion. Nick Nolte and Emma Thompson star as Bryson’s travelling partners, who at least reveal that the human condition is no walk in the park. Scream (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 10.00pm Wes Craven rebooted the teenage-horror genre with Scream. It’s gory, but clever and funny, too, particularly in its own self-awareness: the characters talk constantly about being in a slasher movie. And Craven wrong-foots us with a terrific opening sequence that gleefully breaks the rules of film-making. Courteney Cox and Neve Campbell star. The sequel Scream 2 is on Friday at 11.00pm. I Love You, Man (2009) ★★★★☆ 5STAR, 11.00pm Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. Thursday 10 May Michael C Hall (centre) in Safe Credit: Netflix Safe Netflix, from today For the man who played serial-killing forensics expert Dexter and funeral director David in Six Feet Under, it’s fitting that we first encounter Michael C Hall’s latest deeply flawed antihero, Tom Delaney, by his wife’s grave in this opening set-piece of his new drama. This UK-set eight-parter then skips forward six years, with Tom (Hall’s English accent is pretty passable) managing two teenage daughters, his work as a paediatric surgeon and life in a “safe” gated community. What becomes rapidly clear is that his neighbours are also nursing guilty secrets and haunted by past failures: from best mate Marc Warren and Amanda Abbingdon’s dogged detective to Nigel Lindsay’s jovial life-and-soul type. Then Tom’s oldest daughter goes missing during a house party, and skeletons tumble out of closets in an enjoyably twist-riddled affair. The first collaboration between Safe’s co-creators, bestselling novelist Harlan Coben and screenwriter Danny Brocklehurst (Accused; Ordinary Lies; Come Home), marries the former’s love of a cliffhanger and skill with fast-paced narrative with the latter’s facility for character and emotional insight. Gabriel Tate PGA Tour Golf: The Players Championship Sky Sports the Players, 12.30pm It’s day one of the tournament widely regarded as the unofficial fifth Major, held at TPC Sawgrass in Florida. Last year, Kim Si-Woo, at 21, became the youngest champion in Players history and it was much deserved: his was a nerveless display that belied his young age. Danceworks: Prejudice and Passion BBC Four, 7.30pm Choreographer Carlos Pons Guerra invites the cameras into his latest production for children at the Birmingham Rep, a work challenging assumptions of gender and identity with its story of two male penguins raising a chick together. Premier League Football: West Ham United v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm Looking to secure their safety, relegation-threatened West Ham United welcome Manchester United to the Olympic Stadium. The Hammers will need to banish the memories of their last match against Man United, when Anthony Martial, Paul Pogba and a brace from Romelu Lukaku gave Jose Mourinho’s side a 4-0 win. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm Rylan Clark-Neal and Scott Mills are joined by British Eurovision hopeful SuRie to introduce coverage of the second semi-final from Lisbon, with 10 of the 18 featured acts making it to Saturday’s final. Food Unwrapped: China Special Channel 4, 8.00pm Jimmy Doherty and his team explore artisanal and commercial methods of production for garlic, noodles, soy sauce and fortune cookies. Red Ape: Saving the Orangutan BBC Two, 9.00pm This alarming and frequently harrowing documentary makes direct connections between Borneo’s plummeting orangutan population, the boom in illegal animal trading and rocketing global demand for palm oil, but there are glimmers of hope, due to the ceaseless diligence of local activists. Urban Myths: David Bowie and Marc Bolan Sky Arts, 9.00pm Luke Treadaway and Jack Whitehall star as the teenage David Bowie and Marc Bolan in this by turns silly and oddly poignant comedy of two icons bonding, bickering and dreaming of stardom while earning a crust decorating their manager’s office. GT Riot Girls Channel 4, 10.00pm A gleefully ribald new prank show from the supremely talented and smart quartet of Grace Campbell, Jen Wakefield, Cam Spence and Sophie Duker, using stunts to highlight the casual sexism and gender inequality in society from manspreading on the tube to contraception. It’s as crude as it is funny and effective. Great Art ITV, 10.45pm; not STV Tim Marlow’s admirably unadorned visual arts series returns to profile a man not unscrutinised over the years, but if this pen portrait fails to add much new to the David Hockney story, it’s an efficient and entertaining primer, focusing on his Royal Academy landscape and portraiture exhibitions of 2012 and 2016. GT The Bourne Supremacy (2004) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Continuing the story of Jason Bourne, this sequel sees the former assassin (Matt Damon) living in Goa with his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente) when a Russian assassin arrives to plunge him back into the deep end of a CIA conspiracy. While this is not quite on a par with the first film, Paul Greengrass’s direction is typically exhilarating, and Joan Allen and Brian Cox lend excellent support. Cocktail (1988) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 11.10pm Tom Cruise plays a tequila-tossing barman in this romantic drama which cashed in on his heart-throb image. After leaving the army, Brian (Cruise) gets a job working in a Manhattan bar. His Martini mentor is Doug (Bryan Brown), who soon teaches him the tricks of the trade, but when the pair fall out over a girl, Brian heads for the Caribbean. It’s a bland concoction but strangely agreeable. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) ★★★★☆ Film4, 11.15pm This startling debut by Marielle Heller shows the funny side of a teenager’s explorations into her sexuality as a 15-year-old wannabe cartoonist Minnie (Bel Powley) seduces her mother’s 35-year-old boyfriend Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård). Heller’s nimble direction and clever script ensure that the film never paints either Minnie or Monroe entirely as victim or predator. Friday 11 May Thure Lindhardt and Sofia Helin in The Bridge Credit: BBC The Bridge BBC Two, 9.00pm With the exception perhaps of Wallander, of all the Scandi-noir characters that we’ve seen in recent years it is The Bridge’s Saga Norén (Sofia Helin), a committed Malmö detective with a level of social dysfunction that implies autism, who has burrowed deepest into the hearts of UK viewers. She struggles to cope emotionally with the world around her, but that only makes us like her all the more. When last we saw Saga, at the close of series three two years ago, she had solved another major murder case but stood accused herself of killing her abusive mother. At least she had the consolation of meeting a soulmate of sorts in Henrik Sabroe (Thure Lindhardt), a police colleague from across the Øresund bridge linking Sweden and Denmark, and a man deeply damaged by the murder of his wife and the disappearance of his two young daughters. At the start of this instantly gripping fourth and final series, things are not looking good for Saga as she wakes up in a cold, grey, unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile, Henrik is called to the scene of a particularly grizzly murder in Copenhagen that has a link to the controversial deportation of an Iranian illegal immigrant. Gerard O’Donovan Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist Netflix, from today A bank raid gone wrong, a horrific bomb-collar murder, a cat and mouse hunt by the FBI to track down a former beauty queen turned self-styled criminal. This anticipated documentary picks apart the bizarre story of the so-called “pizza bomber heist” that gripped the city of Erie, Pennsylvania, in 2003. Fifteen years later, the discovery of new evidence suggests that the story could be even more strange. The One Show: NHS Patients Awards Special BBC One, 7.00pm A special edition marking the 70th anniversary of the NHS and celebrating the work of doctors, nurses and medical staff who deliver outstanding care – as nominated by viewers and the Patients Association. Matt Baker and Alex Jones present. BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm Violinist Nicola Benedetti and trumpeter Alison Balsom join presenter Josie D’Arby for the competition’s semi-final, in which five individual category winners – including percussionist Matthew Brett, cellist Maxim Calver and saxophonist Robert Burton – compete for a place in the final. The judges include conductor Jessica Cottis and composer Kerry Andrew. GO Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Krishnan Guru-Murthy reports from the popular tourist resorts of the Dominican Republic, where a UN investigation has uncovered shocking crimes against young people at the hands of sex tourists. Britain’s Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson Channel 5, 8.00pm In the final programme of his excellent series, Tony Robinson recounts the tangled – and entertaining – history of Winchester Cathedral, whose bishops were once among the richest, most influential and worst behaved in Britain – and where one of England’s greatest novelists, Jane Austen, is buried. Portillo’s Hidden History of Britain Channel 5, 9.00pm Bringing his foray to a close, former defence secretary Michael Portillo visits the village of Imber on the Salisbury Plain, which was taken over by the Army in 1943 for use as a wartime training ground and, despite promises to the contrary, still remains in the hands of the military. GO Test Cricket: Ireland v Pakistan Sky Sports Main Event, 11.50pm A historic occasion, this, as Ireland play their first-ever Test match, with Pakistan as the opposition at Malahide Cricket Club. Over the next few years, Ireland will have 60-65 home internationals, including 15 Test matches. Uncapped batsman Imam-ul-Haq, the nephew of former skipper Inzamam, has been named in Pakistan’s squad. Northern Soul (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 11.15pm The nostalgia is potent in this chronicle of the popular northern soul dance halls in the Seventies. The soundtrack is as evocative and wonderful as you might expect, and the drama offers a charming slice of social and cultural Lancashire history. It’s just a shame that the storyline has to follow the same innocent young man led astray/conflict-resolution story arc of nearly every coming-of-age film out there. Buried (2010) ★★★☆☆ BBC One, 11.55pm; N Ireland, 12.25am Ryan Reynolds plays an American truck driver ambushed in Iraq and buried by insurgents in a coffin, with only a phone and a Zippo lighter at his disposal. One might assume the dramatic opportunities for a man in this predicament are finite, but Chris Sparling’s inventive screenplay and Rodrigo Cortés’ direction open up the story beyond the confines of the space in which Reynolds is trapped. The Crying Game (1992) ★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.05am Neil Jordan’s tremendous psychological thriller, set against the backdrop of the Irish Troubles, still contains one of the great cinematic twists. Stephen Rea stars as Provisional IRA volunteer Fergus, who helps to kidnap a British soldier (US actor Forest Whitaker) in order to secure the release of jailed IRA members. However, things go wrong when Fergus begins to form a bond with his prisoner. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
What's on TV tonight: Friday Night Dinner, Home from Home and more
Friday 4 May Friday Night Dinner Channel 4, 10.00pm Friday Night Dinner is a one of those sitcoms that you either love or loathe, depending on your appreciation of slapstick and smutty jokes. Whichever camp you are in, the comedy has made it to a fifth series. And for those who do love it, this opening episode sees brothers Adam and Jonny (Simon Bird and Tom Rosenthal) turn up for their standard Friday night dinner, only to discover their parents Martin and Jackie (Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig) enjoying their new hot tub (because it is apparently still the Seventies) and planning Chinese takeaway. That all changes, however, once their hapless neighbour Jim (Mark Heap) decides to leave his dog with them because of he has a hot date. Cue lots of “jokes” about internet food, furtive sex and whether going to the takeaway down the road is “very 1930s”. The excellent cast all do their best – Rosenthal is particularly good at drily delivering the put-downs – but creator Robert Popper’s farce-heavy script requires them to do far too much heavy lifting. By the time Jim appears at the door with dirt-streaked hands and a compulsively giggling lady friend, you may find yourself silently weeping at the clunky agony of it all. SH Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Rania Abouzeid reports from Kabul, where kidnappings are a daily occurrence. Here, Abouzeid explores two cases – one involving a teenager who has been held for nine months – and discovers that there are no easy answers. This is a bleak but important piece of reporting. SH Home from Home BBC One, 9.30pm The ghost of Ever Decreasing Circles continues to haunt this amiable sitcom, although it lacks the dark edge of the Richard Briers hit. Here, a fed-up Neil (Johnny Vegas) throws a party, much to his snobby neighbour Robert’s (Adam James) delight. SH Episodes BBC Two, 10.00pm; Wales, 11.05pm The final series of the acerbic satire of Hollywood has been an absolute delight. And that continues with this episode as Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Bev (Tamsin Greig) discover just how far Matt (Matt LeBlanc) is prepared to go in order to get a co-creator credit. SH High & Dry Channel 4, 10.30pm Marc Wootton’s comedy about a group of plane crash survivors initially seems behind the times given that Lost ended eight years ago. However, stick with it because Wootton is in fine comedy monster mode as air steward Brett. Plus, the whole thing perks up once Vicky Pepperdine arrives as indomitable survivor Harriet. SH Too Fat for Love BBC Three, from 10.00am There’s a touch of the Carrie Bradshaw’s about this film in which vlogger Emma B asks the question: are we [the plus-sized community] too fat for love? To answer that, Emma talks to other plus-sized women, tries out life modelling and attends a sex tips class. The result is an entertaining film that is particularly astute about the way in which society portrays larger people. SH The Jazz Ambassadors BBC Four, 9.00pm This intriguing documentary tells the story of how congressman Adam Clayton Powell Jr convinced President Eisenhower to use jazz artists as cultural ambassadors, sending them on global tours to tackle Soviet propaganda. As the tours progressed, the musicians, including Louis Armstrong, found themselves increasingly conflicted: how could they promote America as the Land of the Free when the US’s Jim Crow segregation laws made them second-class citizens back home? SH Dunkirk (2017) ★★★★★ Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm Director Christopher Nolan (who, bafflingly, is still yet to win an Oscar), takes a novel approach to the Dunkirk evacuation. Told through three separate perspectives, taking place in the air, the sea and on land, the film is a disorientating, dazzling, superbly crafted tribute to their bravery. Tom Hardy, Kenneth Branagh, Mark Rylance and Harry Styles are among the cast. Magic Mike (2012) ★★★★☆ E4, 9.00pm Steven Soderbergh made a surprise decision to tackle the world of male strippers in Tampa, Florida, and exceeded every expectation: it’s one of his most enjoyable movies. Channing Tatum, in a story based on his own pre-Hollywood career, is revelatory – and Soderbergh works similar wonders with young star Alex Pettyfer and the resurgent Matthew McConaughey as the club’s smooth-talking, cowboy-hat-wearing owner. Non-Stop (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Liam Neeson is the dolorous air marshal who spends most of this film bounding up and down the aisle of a hijacked plane with a time-bomb under his arm in a plot so absurd that you can’t help but smile. Every passenger is a suspect, even Julianne Moore’s sweet heart-surgery patient. But Neeson wears the action-hero mantle so comfortably nowadays that you’ll become engrossed. Saturday 5 May Is that your final answer? Jeremy Clarkson takes over as host Credit: ITV Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? ITV, 9.15pm Judith Keppel winning, the Coughing Major cheating, Chris Tarrant smirking – for a brief period at the turn of the century Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? was the hottest programme on TV. One episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers and the show went on to inspire a bestselling novel, Q&A, which in turn became Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s 2008 Oscar-winning film. In truth, the quiz series only left TV screens four years ago, but it’s the heady early years that ITV is clearly hoping to repeat with this new version to commemorate the 20th anniversaryof the programme. So, what can we expect? It will air every night this week, and there’s a new host, Jeremy Clarkson, who’s roaring in to replace Tarrant. The old lifeline favourites – Phone a Friend, Ask the Audience and 50/50 – remain in place, although ITV have confirmed that there will be a fourth – Ask the Host. Contestants will also be allowed to set their own safety net, traditionally £32,000, once they reach question five. But is it possible for this version to capture the public’s imagination in these days of peak TV? One thing is certain: Clarkson has just the right amount of cocky charm to make a go of it as host. Sarah Hughes Happy Tent Tales CBeebies iPlayer,from today The BBC’s preschool series of live-action folk tales continues with five traditional stories presented by Karina O’Malley. There’s Welsh fairy tale The Golden Harp, traditional Scottish fable The Eagle and the Wren, and a lovely take on one of Aesop’s best, The Fox and the Crow. Rugby Union: Army v Navy Sky Sports Arena, 2.45pm Twickenham is the setting as the two Armed Forces compete for the Babcock trophy. Women’s FA Cup Football: Arsenal Women v Chelsea Ladies BBC One, 5.10pm Arsenal Women take on Chelsea Ladies in the final of the FA Cup, which takes place at Wembley Stadium. Fourteen-time winners Arsenal overcame Everton Ladies 2-1 in their semi-final, while Chelsea defeated the holders Manchester City 2-0. This match is a repeat of the 2016 fixture, in which the Gunners emerged victorious 1-0, thanks to Danielle Carter’s early strike. Beatles Night Sky Arts, from 6.00pm Sky Arts celebrates all things Fab Four with films tracing The Beatles from their humble beginnings to the heady heights of becoming the most famous pop band in the world. First up is My Beatles Black Album with Charles Hazlewood, in which the composer creates a mix of solo tracks by members of the band. The Beatles: From Liverpool to San Francisco then charts the band from their days playing in the Cavern Club to their US success. That’s followed by Ben Lewis’s recent The Beatles, Hippies & Hells Angels which looks at the rise and fall of their multimedia arm Apple Corps. SH Britain’s Got Talent ITV, 8.00pm With two golden buzzer acts already through to the live semi-finals, the fourth round of auditions heats up as more hopefuls strive to impress Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm It’s time to uncover Britain’s “Most Regency” town – and if eager Georgette Heyer fans were about to shout Bath, you are wrong. The answer, it turns out, is Cheltenham. Alice Roberts learns about Regency etiquette and uncovers why the pigeon is so important to the spa town. Casualty BBC One, 9.15pm Fans of the long-running medical drama get a treat here as the magnificently icy consultant Connie Beauchamp (Amanda Mealing) returns to work and instantly begins to reassert her authority. Elsewhere, doctor Ethan (George Rainsford) gets a shock when he visits the spot where his brother was murdered. The Great Rameses: New Evidence Revealed Channel 5, 10.10pm Channel 5’s latest series is a pretty straightforward but interesting-enough trawl through Ancient Egyptian history. The series begins with the story of Rameses II, who defeated the Hittites and was subsequently declared a living god by his people. SH Casablanca (1942, b/w) ★★★★★ ITV3, 3.00pm Humphrey Bogart’s Rick runs the American Bar in the eponymous Moroccan city, while Ingrid Bergman is the old flame who forces him to choose between his own heart and the fight against Nazism. Seventy six years on, Michael Curtiz’s Oscar-winning romantic drama is still a film to make the spirit soar; its finely drawn characters, quotable dialogue and haunting music have become iconic. Kajaki (2014) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 10.00pm; N Ireland, 11.00pm This tense film from Paul Katis tells the true story of British soldiers trapped in a mine-laden riverbed in Afghanistan. It not only convinces with its gory effects, but also with the agony each mine inflicts, and the delirium added when each man doses up with morphine: the acting from a uniformly strong ensemble cast, including Game of Thrones’s Mark Stanley, puts you right there. Sex and the City 2 (2010) ★★☆☆☆ ITV, 10.35pm SatC stalwarts will want a bite of this second film from the Big Apple franchise, but New York City is no more as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and friends head to Abu Dhabi. The fashion is outrageous, there’s a gay wedding with a swan, and Liza Minnelli does Beyoncé, but the whole thing is culturally insensitive and the women morph into cartoon characters. Turn off your brain and enjoy spending time with these old friends. Sunday 6 May Benoit Blin, Tom Allen, Liam Charles and Cherish Finden. Credit: Channel 4 Bake Off: The Professionals Channel 4, 8.00pm Completing the trifecta of Great British Bake Off shows that have switched from the BBC to Channel 4 is this competition for professional pâtissiers, formerly called Crème de la Crème. The six-part contest has wisely retained judges Benoit Blin and Cherish Finden, and hired new hosts in comedian Tom Allen and newcomer Liam Charles, who appeared in last year’s Bake Off. The format sees 12 teams of two pastry chefs compete in confectionery wars, beginning with the first half dozen. They’re tasked with making 24 tartes aux fruits and 24 tartes conversations [a sort of French Bakewell tart] followed by a show-stopping edible structure based on a Black Forest gâteau. The tension spikes as temperatures rise inside Firle Place in East Sussex, where it’s filmed – sweltering heat leads to high drama when contestants’ chocolate sculptures look in danger of toppling over. The appeal of the contest is in the staggering quality of the complicated pastries and edible works of art that the chefs turn out, which understandably knock the offerings of Bake Off’s amateurs into a cocked hat. And judges Blin and Finden are as theatrical as they are hard to please. This results in a scrumptious hour of food fetishism. Vicki Power Premier League Football: Chelsea v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 3.30pm Having won their last four games, Chelsea go into this match against third-placed Liverpool in good form. The Blues’ defence will have to be at its best, though: in Mohamed Salah, Liverpool have the most dangerous attacker in the league, and he’ll relish the opportunity to score against the club that sold him to Roma in 2016. When these sides met at Anfield, an 85th-minute goal from Willian ensured Chelsea salvaged a 1-1 draw. The Big Painting Challenge BBC One, 6.00pm It’s the final of this uplifting painting contest for amateurs, and the quartet of finalists relocate to Chatham Dockyards, where they must paint self-portraits. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm The arrival of the circus to Corfu provides the magic to bring Louisa (Keeley Hawes) and the recently separated Spiro (Alexis Georgoulis) ever closer in an emotional final episode of this beguiling drama. In fact, all of the Durrells have relationship upheavals, teeing up the action nicely for a fourth series. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Wilkie Collins’s Gothic thriller continues to compel in this fresh adaptation. In the penultimate episode, the women continue to suffer – clued-up Marian (Jessie Buckley) still has fever, rendering her unable to save her clueless half-sister Laura (Olivia Vinall) from the big twist we all know is coming. Ballet’s Dark Knight: Sir Kenneth MacMillan BBC Four, 9.00pm Darcey Bussell and Monica Mason are among the ballet stars who pay tribute to the choreographer Kenneth MacMillan in this excellent new biopic. Bussell, who worked with him at the age of 19, recalls how hard he pushed his dancers: “Nothing was ever good enough.” With contributions from MacMillan’s widow, Australian artist Deborah Williams, the documentary celebrates how the former artistic director of the Royal Ballet transformed ballet from polite pirouetting to a gritty, sexy art form. Michael Clark’s To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song BBC Four, 10.00pm Filmed at the Barbican in 2017, maverick choreographer Michael Clark’s acclaimed To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song is a mesmerising three-act piece in which he pays tribute to his greatest influences: punk music, Erik Satie and David Bowie. It is introduced here by Jarvis Cocker. VP Walter Presents: Tabula Rasa Channel 4, 10.15pm Belgium gives the Nordic lands a run for their money with another top-notch TV thriller. This nine-parter follows Mie D’Haeze (Veerle Baetens), an amnesiac psychiatric patient who finds she’s been implicated in a missing persons case. Her disturbed mind makes sorting the truth from fantasy virtually impossible. VP Megamind (2010) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 2.30pm DreamWorks’ fun tale of a Mekon-like, inept baddie is weird and witty. Directed by Tom McGrath, who was behind Madagascar, Will Ferrell leads voice duties, with funny turns from David Cross as his deputy, Minion, and Brad Pitt as his vain, buff, Aryan nemesis, the perpetually victorious Metro Man. An amusing quirk of Megamind’s is his affected pronunciation – he pronounces Metro City to rhyme with atrocity. The Boxtrolls (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 2.50pm There’s a cheerfully grotesque streak to this Oscar-winning stop-motion animation from the makers of Coraline and ParaNorman. In the town of Cheesebridge, a human boy raised by boxtrolls – trash-collecting creatures who live under the sewers wearing cardboard boxes – vows to save them from a villainous pest exterminator. It’s an endearing set-up and the carnival feel should please both adults and children. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 6.10pm The denouement to Peter Jackson’s grandiose adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s epic is the one that scooped an Oscar. Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) arrive at Mount Doom to destroy the Ring, both helped and hindered by the loathsome Gollum. Jackson’s only misjudgement is that the film meanders on for around half an hour after the real action is over. Bank Holiday Monday Peter Kay and Sian Gibson Credit: BBC Peter Kay’s Car Share Unscripted BBC One, 10.00pm The emergence of this improvised episode and the official climax to Peter Kay’s sitcom (airing next Bank Holiday Monday) is a treat for all sorts of reasons. Firstly, it would seem to allay concerns prompted by the comedian’s sudden cancellation of an extensive stand-up tour late last year. Secondly, it may offer closure to the many viewers left distraught by the cliffhanger ending to the second series, which saw straight-talking, outwardly stern John (Kay) fail to respond to the declaration of love proffered by co-worker and unsinkable romantic Kayleigh (Sian Gibson). And thirdly, it will mean one more hour in the company of these two beautifully drawn characters who felt like old friends from the moment they first appeared on our screens in 2015. This opening salvo sees Kay and Gibson ad-libbing in character, attempting to corpse each other with a ruthless lack of professionalism as John and Kayleigh drive home on their daily commute in John’s Fiat 500, their only company being the cheesy oldies radio station Forever FM. Don’t expect resolutions yet; instead, sit back and enjoy two fine performers rustling comic magic up out of thin air. Gabriel Tate The £100k Drop Channel 4, 4.00pm It has a new teatime slot and a 10th of the previous prize money, but Davina McCall is still in situ for this entertaining game show of general knowledge and playing the odds. Tenko True Entertainment, 6.00pm The classic BBC drama set in a Japanese POW camp for British, Dutch and Australian women interned after the fall of Singapore in 1942 is being aired every weeknight at 6.00pm. It’s unflinching in its explorations of friendship, sexuality and the degradations of war. Danceworks: The Dying Swan BBC Four, 7.30pm Beginning four consecutive nights of films exploring the world of British dance today, former Royal Ballet principal Zenaida Yanowsky explores the physical toll of her career as she attempts one final post-surgery comeback. Dispatches: Britain’s Benefits Crisis Channel 4, 7.30pm Morland Sanders investigates the Government’s roll-out of the Universal Credit scheme. It is ostensibly aimed at simplifying the benefits system but instead it is dogged by controversy, cuts to provisions and administrative glitches. ATP Masters Tennis: The Mutua Madrid Open Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm It’s the opening day of play in the clay-court tournament at the Caja Magica, where world number one and home favourite Rafael Nadal – in formidable form – is the event’s reigning champion. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Fiona Seres’s impressively sustained exploration of brutal, brittle masculinity and the stout resistance of their intended victims reaches a gripping climax as Lura (Olivia Vinall) and Marian (Jessie Buckley) strike back against the devious Fosco (Riccardo Scamarcio) and thuggish Sir Percival (Dougray Scott). The Road to Palmyra BBC Four, 9.00pm Ebullient historian Dan Cruickshank and wry photographer Don McCullin make an odd couple, yet their journey through a ravaged Syria casts new light on both the conflict as well as what the material and spiritual costs will be for future generations. GT Genderquake Channel 4, 9.00pm This gimmicky but occasionally enlightening TV experiment puts 11 strangers with different attitudes towards gender and sexuality in a house together for a week: prejudices are aired, preconceptions challenged and romances kindled. It concludes on Tuesday with further revelations and realisations, as well as a debate on the issues raised at 10.00pm. GT Forrest Gump (1994) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 9.00pm Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama is full of spirit – even if, at times, it’s slightly saccharine. Forrest (Tom Hanks) is a simpleton with a heart of gold, who, ever true to the homely advice of his mother (Sally Field) is reflecting on his improbable life as a Vietnam War hero, table-tennis champion and accidental millionaire. Hanks, depending on your sentimentality threshold, may prove to be adorable. Notting Hill (1999) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.20pm This is the second of Richard Curtis’s romcoms, after Four Weddings and a Funeral, about bumbling good eggs and frightfully pretty girls. Hugh Grant plays a London bookseller who attracts the attention of a film star (Julia Roberts) – it’s amusing, in particular when Grant’s character ineptly poses as a journalist from Horse & Hound magazine at a press junket for her sci-fi movie. Papillon (1973) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 11.00pm Based on the autobiography of petty criminal Henri Charrière – nicknamed Papillon because of his butterfly tattoo – this powerful prison drama is set in the infamous French penal colony Devil’s Island. Steve McQueen impressively stars as the title character, desperate to escape Devil’s Island’s gruesome brutality. Dustin Hoffman gives memorable support as his friend, the small-time fraudster Louis Dega. Tuesday 8 May Inspirational: Kate Humble with Emma and some alpacas Credit: BBC Back to the Land with Kate Humble BBC Two, 7.00pm There aren’t many TV shows that merit the word “inspirational” but Kate Humble’s series looking at the lives and work of entrepreneurial countryside pioneers around the UK does. Here she returns for another 12-part run, beginning by visiting four new start-ups in Cornwall which were prompted by a perceived gap in the market. Her clear favourites – she returns again and again to check on their progress – are free-diving seaweed harvesters Caro and Tim. This sustainability-aware pair were looking to work locally when they realised that, despite seaweed becoming more fashionable as a cooking ingredient, no one was harvesting the plentiful supply in the sea near them. Much hard work and ingenuity later, it’s an unlikely business idea that looks set to be a winner. Humble also meets a couple who reversed their farm’s declining fortunes by taking a leap of faith into free-range duck breeding, two best friends who supply native-flower bouquets to Cornwall’s booming high-end wedding market and a lavishly bearded brewer whose wild foraging in the local fields and hedgerows supplies the ingredients for his uniquely flavoured “wild” beers. Gerard O’Donovan Danceworks: Street to Stage BBC Four, 7.30pm Rising British star Dickson Mbi displays a range of talents in this film following him and his hip-hop popping team, Fiya House, competing in an international street dance competition. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm The Eurovision song contest circus kicks off tonight in Lisbon with the first semi-final featuring 19 countries (including Ireland) of the record-equalling 43 competing this year. UK fans have to wait for Saturday’s Grand Final to hear SuRie sing our entry, Storm. The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds Channel 4, 8.00pm The first in a two-part special exploring how children learn the difference between right and wrong, as another class of five-year-olds are challenged to decide if it’s OK to cheat and what to do when someone tells you a secret. Abandoned Engineering Yesterday, 8.00pm The series exploring mysterious abandoned buildings returns for a second series. This week, a vast labyrinth of crumbling tunnels, bunkers and towers in northern Poland, once a cutting-edge oil refinery, reveals its former role as a pivotal part of Hitler’s war machine. GO The Split BBC One, 9.00pm Abi Morgan’s legal drama hurries on apace with further revelations drawing us deeper into the lives of Hannah (Nicola Walker) and her dysfunctional family of lawyers. Tonight, things get heated in a case involving frozen embryos, and matriarch Ruth (Deborah Findlay) is evasive over finances. Later Live: with Jools Holland BBC Two, 10.00pm Returning for a 52nd series, Jools Holland welcomes more acts to play live in studio. Among them are Snow Patrol, Plan B, Bettye Lavette, and rising stars Shame and Jade Bird. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle: The Engagement Interview BBC One, 11.40pm; NI/Wales, 12.05am; Scot, 12.45am In case you won’t catch the endless clips in royal wedding-related programming over the next 10 days, here’s a repeat of the interview the couple gave Mishal Husain at Kensington Palace last year on the day they announced their engagement. GO My Cousin Rachel (2017) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 2.30pm and 11.30pm “Did she? Didn’t she?” ponders stricken hero Philip Ashley about the titular character and the possible murder of her husband/his cousin. This is based on Daphne du Maurier’s 1951 novel, but there was also a film version in 1952, an Eighties BBC version, on radio, and on the stage. Young Philip, the heir to a fortune, is played in Roger Michell’s stylish but sexless adaptation by a rakish Sam Claflin. Hot Fuzz (2007) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s follow-up to the cult comedy-horror Shaun of the Dead (and the second chapter in the Cornetto Trilogy) reunites Pegg with Nick Frost in the story of two policemen who uncover a conspiracy in a Somerset village. Timothy Dalton is a sinister triumph as a millionaire baddy. Sharp, funny and with explosive action scenes, it’s a very British action-comedy that does everything it should. Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice? (1969) ★★★☆☆ Talking Pictures TV, 9.00pm This is the third in a trilogy of Robert Aldrich-produced films (following What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte). It also features two female leads – this time, an Arizona widow (Geraldine Page) hires housekeepers to con them out of their money before murdering them, but Ruth Gordon’s Alice Dimmock isn’t easily fooled. Wednesday 9 May Healthy outlook: Fearnley-Whittingstall with volunteer Janet Credit: BBC Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall BBC One, 9.00pm; Scotland, 10.45pm He tried to get Newcastle exercising together and demonstrated to the unconvinced in Bristol just how much sugar there is in a smoothie, now, in this final episode, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall faces his toughest test of all – he heading to the Tory Party Conference to speak about obesity and attempting to get an audience with Health Minister Jeremy Hunt. But can he convince the ministers – and the hard-to-pin-down Hunt – that they need to do more to combat both national awareness of what we eat and the country’s fitness levels? First, he checks in with some of those who have signed up for the Newcastle Can scheme; heads out for a surfing lesson with Janet, a willing but struggling participant; trials a weight-loss experiment at the GP’s surgery and looks at the way in which marketing affects our understanding of food. Whether or not he manages to replicate the impact that Jamie Oliver had on the government during his school dinners campaign remains to be seen, but this impassioned series will surely have convinced the UK’s couch potatoes that it’s time to embrace the sunnier weather and start walking. Sarah Hughes DanceWorks: Choreographing History BBC Four, 7.30pm “With contemporary dance we don’t inherit ready-made stories, so we have to make up our own,” says choreographer Shobana Jeyasingh in this fascinating film. Jeyasingh’s latest work, Contagion, takes the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic as its subject, and this documentary follows her as she translates her research into a haunting, beautiful piece of work. The Secret Life of the Zoo Channel 4, 8.00pm The fallout from orangutan Emma’s pregnancy continues this week as the new mother pushes away the older child to raise the baby, leaving the zoo staff increasingly worried as to how the abandoned youth will cope. Mystery of the Lost Paintings Sky Arts, 8.00pm This episode examines the 1958 fire at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, which destroyed two of Monet’s famous Water Lily paintings, before attempting to digitally reconstruct one of the damaged works. Love in the Countryside BBC Two, 9.00pm Everything moves up a gear as lovelorn dairy farmers Pete and Ed invite their three prospective partners over for a weekend. Cue early issues as fiftysomethings Helen and Caroline struggle in the face of thirtysomething Frannie’s more obvious assets. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm It’s an emotional finale at the Birmingham Women’s Hospital as we meet Lauren and Rachel, who are preparing for a second child, and Urwah and Nadhia, who are about to meet their fifth. Meanwhile, Laura and Paul, friends turned lovers, have nine kids between them and another on the way. Harry & Meghan: A Love Story Sky One, 9.00pm Bafta-winning film-maker Toby Sculthorp turns his eye to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, talking to close friends and former head of the British Army, Richard Dannatt. SH Tortured By Mum and Dad: The Turpin 13 Channel 5, 10.00pm When 13 children were discovered shackled and starved by their parents, David and Louise Turpin earlier this year, it made global headlines. This documentary returns to the case, asking how the pair managed to hide their terrible secret for so long. A Walk in the Woods (2015) ★★☆☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Robert Redford turns Bill Bryson’s elegant travelogue about his middle-aged attempt on the Appalachian Trail – a 2,000-mile trek through the eastern United States – into a sloppy sitcom. The great American outdoors, however, are shot in picturesque fashion. Nick Nolte and Emma Thompson star as Bryson’s travelling partners, who at least reveal that the human condition is no walk in the park. Scream (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 10.00pm Wes Craven rebooted the teenage-horror genre with Scream. It’s gory, but clever and funny, too, particularly in its own self-awareness: the characters talk constantly about being in a slasher movie. And Craven wrong-foots us with a terrific opening sequence that gleefully breaks the rules of film-making. Courteney Cox and Neve Campbell star. The sequel Scream 2 is on Friday at 11.00pm. I Love You, Man (2009) ★★★★☆ 5STAR, 11.00pm Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. Thursday 10 May Michael C Hall (centre) in Safe Credit: Netflix Safe Netflix, from today For the man who played serial-killing forensics expert Dexter and funeral director David in Six Feet Under, it’s fitting that we first encounter Michael C Hall’s latest deeply flawed antihero, Tom Delaney, by his wife’s grave in this opening set-piece of his new drama. This UK-set eight-parter then skips forward six years, with Tom (Hall’s English accent is pretty passable) managing two teenage daughters, his work as a paediatric surgeon and life in a “safe” gated community. What becomes rapidly clear is that his neighbours are also nursing guilty secrets and haunted by past failures: from best mate Marc Warren and Amanda Abbingdon’s dogged detective to Nigel Lindsay’s jovial life-and-soul type. Then Tom’s oldest daughter goes missing during a house party, and skeletons tumble out of closets in an enjoyably twist-riddled affair. The first collaboration between Safe’s co-creators, bestselling novelist Harlan Coben and screenwriter Danny Brocklehurst (Accused; Ordinary Lies; Come Home), marries the former’s love of a cliffhanger and skill with fast-paced narrative with the latter’s facility for character and emotional insight. Gabriel Tate PGA Tour Golf: The Players Championship Sky Sports the Players, 12.30pm It’s day one of the tournament widely regarded as the unofficial fifth Major, held at TPC Sawgrass in Florida. Last year, Kim Si-Woo, at 21, became the youngest champion in Players history and it was much deserved: his was a nerveless display that belied his young age. Danceworks: Prejudice and Passion BBC Four, 7.30pm Choreographer Carlos Pons Guerra invites the cameras into his latest production for children at the Birmingham Rep, a work challenging assumptions of gender and identity with its story of two male penguins raising a chick together. Premier League Football: West Ham United v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm Looking to secure their safety, relegation-threatened West Ham United welcome Manchester United to the Olympic Stadium. The Hammers will need to banish the memories of their last match against Man United, when Anthony Martial, Paul Pogba and a brace from Romelu Lukaku gave Jose Mourinho’s side a 4-0 win. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm Rylan Clark-Neal and Scott Mills are joined by British Eurovision hopeful SuRie to introduce coverage of the second semi-final from Lisbon, with 10 of the 18 featured acts making it to Saturday’s final. Food Unwrapped: China Special Channel 4, 8.00pm Jimmy Doherty and his team explore artisanal and commercial methods of production for garlic, noodles, soy sauce and fortune cookies. Red Ape: Saving the Orangutan BBC Two, 9.00pm This alarming and frequently harrowing documentary makes direct connections between Borneo’s plummeting orangutan population, the boom in illegal animal trading and rocketing global demand for palm oil, but there are glimmers of hope, due to the ceaseless diligence of local activists. Urban Myths: David Bowie and Marc Bolan Sky Arts, 9.00pm Luke Treadaway and Jack Whitehall star as the teenage David Bowie and Marc Bolan in this by turns silly and oddly poignant comedy of two icons bonding, bickering and dreaming of stardom while earning a crust decorating their manager’s office. GT Riot Girls Channel 4, 10.00pm A gleefully ribald new prank show from the supremely talented and smart quartet of Grace Campbell, Jen Wakefield, Cam Spence and Sophie Duker, using stunts to highlight the casual sexism and gender inequality in society from manspreading on the tube to contraception. It’s as crude as it is funny and effective. Great Art ITV, 10.45pm; not STV Tim Marlow’s admirably unadorned visual arts series returns to profile a man not unscrutinised over the years, but if this pen portrait fails to add much new to the David Hockney story, it’s an efficient and entertaining primer, focusing on his Royal Academy landscape and portraiture exhibitions of 2012 and 2016. GT The Bourne Supremacy (2004) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Continuing the story of Jason Bourne, this sequel sees the former assassin (Matt Damon) living in Goa with his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente) when a Russian assassin arrives to plunge him back into the deep end of a CIA conspiracy. While this is not quite on a par with the first film, Paul Greengrass’s direction is typically exhilarating, and Joan Allen and Brian Cox lend excellent support. Cocktail (1988) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 11.10pm Tom Cruise plays a tequila-tossing barman in this romantic drama which cashed in on his heart-throb image. After leaving the army, Brian (Cruise) gets a job working in a Manhattan bar. His Martini mentor is Doug (Bryan Brown), who soon teaches him the tricks of the trade, but when the pair fall out over a girl, Brian heads for the Caribbean. It’s a bland concoction but strangely agreeable. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) ★★★★☆ Film4, 11.15pm This startling debut by Marielle Heller shows the funny side of a teenager’s explorations into her sexuality as a 15-year-old wannabe cartoonist Minnie (Bel Powley) seduces her mother’s 35-year-old boyfriend Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård). Heller’s nimble direction and clever script ensure that the film never paints either Minnie or Monroe entirely as victim or predator. Friday 11 May Thure Lindhardt and Sofia Helin in The Bridge Credit: BBC The Bridge BBC Two, 9.00pm With the exception perhaps of Wallander, of all the Scandi-noir characters that we’ve seen in recent years it is The Bridge’s Saga Norén (Sofia Helin), a committed Malmö detective with a level of social dysfunction that implies autism, who has burrowed deepest into the hearts of UK viewers. She struggles to cope emotionally with the world around her, but that only makes us like her all the more. When last we saw Saga, at the close of series three two years ago, she had solved another major murder case but stood accused herself of killing her abusive mother. At least she had the consolation of meeting a soulmate of sorts in Henrik Sabroe (Thure Lindhardt), a police colleague from across the Øresund bridge linking Sweden and Denmark, and a man deeply damaged by the murder of his wife and the disappearance of his two young daughters. At the start of this instantly gripping fourth and final series, things are not looking good for Saga as she wakes up in a cold, grey, unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile, Henrik is called to the scene of a particularly grizzly murder in Copenhagen that has a link to the controversial deportation of an Iranian illegal immigrant. Gerard O’Donovan Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist Netflix, from today A bank raid gone wrong, a horrific bomb-collar murder, a cat and mouse hunt by the FBI to track down a former beauty queen turned self-styled criminal. This anticipated documentary picks apart the bizarre story of the so-called “pizza bomber heist” that gripped the city of Erie, Pennsylvania, in 2003. Fifteen years later, the discovery of new evidence suggests that the story could be even more strange. The One Show: NHS Patients Awards Special BBC One, 7.00pm A special edition marking the 70th anniversary of the NHS and celebrating the work of doctors, nurses and medical staff who deliver outstanding care – as nominated by viewers and the Patients Association. Matt Baker and Alex Jones present. BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm Violinist Nicola Benedetti and trumpeter Alison Balsom join presenter Josie D’Arby for the competition’s semi-final, in which five individual category winners – including percussionist Matthew Brett, cellist Maxim Calver and saxophonist Robert Burton – compete for a place in the final. The judges include conductor Jessica Cottis and composer Kerry Andrew. GO Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Krishnan Guru-Murthy reports from the popular tourist resorts of the Dominican Republic, where a UN investigation has uncovered shocking crimes against young people at the hands of sex tourists. Britain’s Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson Channel 5, 8.00pm In the final programme of his excellent series, Tony Robinson recounts the tangled – and entertaining – history of Winchester Cathedral, whose bishops were once among the richest, most influential and worst behaved in Britain – and where one of England’s greatest novelists, Jane Austen, is buried. Portillo’s Hidden History of Britain Channel 5, 9.00pm Bringing his foray to a close, former defence secretary Michael Portillo visits the village of Imber on the Salisbury Plain, which was taken over by the Army in 1943 for use as a wartime training ground and, despite promises to the contrary, still remains in the hands of the military. GO Test Cricket: Ireland v Pakistan Sky Sports Main Event, 11.50pm A historic occasion, this, as Ireland play their first-ever Test match, with Pakistan as the opposition at Malahide Cricket Club. Over the next few years, Ireland will have 60-65 home internationals, including 15 Test matches. Uncapped batsman Imam-ul-Haq, the nephew of former skipper Inzamam, has been named in Pakistan’s squad. Northern Soul (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 11.15pm The nostalgia is potent in this chronicle of the popular northern soul dance halls in the Seventies. The soundtrack is as evocative and wonderful as you might expect, and the drama offers a charming slice of social and cultural Lancashire history. It’s just a shame that the storyline has to follow the same innocent young man led astray/conflict-resolution story arc of nearly every coming-of-age film out there. Buried (2010) ★★★☆☆ BBC One, 11.55pm; N Ireland, 12.25am Ryan Reynolds plays an American truck driver ambushed in Iraq and buried by insurgents in a coffin, with only a phone and a Zippo lighter at his disposal. One might assume the dramatic opportunities for a man in this predicament are finite, but Chris Sparling’s inventive screenplay and Rodrigo Cortés’ direction open up the story beyond the confines of the space in which Reynolds is trapped. The Crying Game (1992) ★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.05am Neil Jordan’s tremendous psychological thriller, set against the backdrop of the Irish Troubles, still contains one of the great cinematic twists. Stephen Rea stars as Provisional IRA volunteer Fergus, who helps to kidnap a British soldier (US actor Forest Whitaker) in order to secure the release of jailed IRA members. However, things go wrong when Fergus begins to form a bond with his prisoner. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
Friday 4 May Friday Night Dinner Channel 4, 10.00pm Friday Night Dinner is a one of those sitcoms that you either love or loathe, depending on your appreciation of slapstick and smutty jokes. Whichever camp you are in, the comedy has made it to a fifth series. And for those who do love it, this opening episode sees brothers Adam and Jonny (Simon Bird and Tom Rosenthal) turn up for their standard Friday night dinner, only to discover their parents Martin and Jackie (Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig) enjoying their new hot tub (because it is apparently still the Seventies) and planning Chinese takeaway. That all changes, however, once their hapless neighbour Jim (Mark Heap) decides to leave his dog with them because of he has a hot date. Cue lots of “jokes” about internet food, furtive sex and whether going to the takeaway down the road is “very 1930s”. The excellent cast all do their best – Rosenthal is particularly good at drily delivering the put-downs – but creator Robert Popper’s farce-heavy script requires them to do far too much heavy lifting. By the time Jim appears at the door with dirt-streaked hands and a compulsively giggling lady friend, you may find yourself silently weeping at the clunky agony of it all. SH Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Rania Abouzeid reports from Kabul, where kidnappings are a daily occurrence. Here, Abouzeid explores two cases – one involving a teenager who has been held for nine months – and discovers that there are no easy answers. This is a bleak but important piece of reporting. SH Home from Home BBC One, 9.30pm The ghost of Ever Decreasing Circles continues to haunt this amiable sitcom, although it lacks the dark edge of the Richard Briers hit. Here, a fed-up Neil (Johnny Vegas) throws a party, much to his snobby neighbour Robert’s (Adam James) delight. SH Episodes BBC Two, 10.00pm; Wales, 11.05pm The final series of the acerbic satire of Hollywood has been an absolute delight. And that continues with this episode as Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Bev (Tamsin Greig) discover just how far Matt (Matt LeBlanc) is prepared to go in order to get a co-creator credit. SH High & Dry Channel 4, 10.30pm Marc Wootton’s comedy about a group of plane crash survivors initially seems behind the times given that Lost ended eight years ago. However, stick with it because Wootton is in fine comedy monster mode as air steward Brett. Plus, the whole thing perks up once Vicky Pepperdine arrives as indomitable survivor Harriet. SH Too Fat for Love BBC Three, from 10.00am There’s a touch of the Carrie Bradshaw’s about this film in which vlogger Emma B asks the question: are we [the plus-sized community] too fat for love? To answer that, Emma talks to other plus-sized women, tries out life modelling and attends a sex tips class. The result is an entertaining film that is particularly astute about the way in which society portrays larger people. SH The Jazz Ambassadors BBC Four, 9.00pm This intriguing documentary tells the story of how congressman Adam Clayton Powell Jr convinced President Eisenhower to use jazz artists as cultural ambassadors, sending them on global tours to tackle Soviet propaganda. As the tours progressed, the musicians, including Louis Armstrong, found themselves increasingly conflicted: how could they promote America as the Land of the Free when the US’s Jim Crow segregation laws made them second-class citizens back home? SH Dunkirk (2017) ★★★★★ Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm Director Christopher Nolan (who, bafflingly, is still yet to win an Oscar), takes a novel approach to the Dunkirk evacuation. Told through three separate perspectives, taking place in the air, the sea and on land, the film is a disorientating, dazzling, superbly crafted tribute to their bravery. Tom Hardy, Kenneth Branagh, Mark Rylance and Harry Styles are among the cast. Magic Mike (2012) ★★★★☆ E4, 9.00pm Steven Soderbergh made a surprise decision to tackle the world of male strippers in Tampa, Florida, and exceeded every expectation: it’s one of his most enjoyable movies. Channing Tatum, in a story based on his own pre-Hollywood career, is revelatory – and Soderbergh works similar wonders with young star Alex Pettyfer and the resurgent Matthew McConaughey as the club’s smooth-talking, cowboy-hat-wearing owner. Non-Stop (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Liam Neeson is the dolorous air marshal who spends most of this film bounding up and down the aisle of a hijacked plane with a time-bomb under his arm in a plot so absurd that you can’t help but smile. Every passenger is a suspect, even Julianne Moore’s sweet heart-surgery patient. But Neeson wears the action-hero mantle so comfortably nowadays that you’ll become engrossed. Saturday 5 May Is that your final answer? Jeremy Clarkson takes over as host Credit: ITV Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? ITV, 9.15pm Judith Keppel winning, the Coughing Major cheating, Chris Tarrant smirking – for a brief period at the turn of the century Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? was the hottest programme on TV. One episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers and the show went on to inspire a bestselling novel, Q&A, which in turn became Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s 2008 Oscar-winning film. In truth, the quiz series only left TV screens four years ago, but it’s the heady early years that ITV is clearly hoping to repeat with this new version to commemorate the 20th anniversaryof the programme. So, what can we expect? It will air every night this week, and there’s a new host, Jeremy Clarkson, who’s roaring in to replace Tarrant. The old lifeline favourites – Phone a Friend, Ask the Audience and 50/50 – remain in place, although ITV have confirmed that there will be a fourth – Ask the Host. Contestants will also be allowed to set their own safety net, traditionally £32,000, once they reach question five. But is it possible for this version to capture the public’s imagination in these days of peak TV? One thing is certain: Clarkson has just the right amount of cocky charm to make a go of it as host. Sarah Hughes Happy Tent Tales CBeebies iPlayer,from today The BBC’s preschool series of live-action folk tales continues with five traditional stories presented by Karina O’Malley. There’s Welsh fairy tale The Golden Harp, traditional Scottish fable The Eagle and the Wren, and a lovely take on one of Aesop’s best, The Fox and the Crow. Rugby Union: Army v Navy Sky Sports Arena, 2.45pm Twickenham is the setting as the two Armed Forces compete for the Babcock trophy. Women’s FA Cup Football: Arsenal Women v Chelsea Ladies BBC One, 5.10pm Arsenal Women take on Chelsea Ladies in the final of the FA Cup, which takes place at Wembley Stadium. Fourteen-time winners Arsenal overcame Everton Ladies 2-1 in their semi-final, while Chelsea defeated the holders Manchester City 2-0. This match is a repeat of the 2016 fixture, in which the Gunners emerged victorious 1-0, thanks to Danielle Carter’s early strike. Beatles Night Sky Arts, from 6.00pm Sky Arts celebrates all things Fab Four with films tracing The Beatles from their humble beginnings to the heady heights of becoming the most famous pop band in the world. First up is My Beatles Black Album with Charles Hazlewood, in which the composer creates a mix of solo tracks by members of the band. The Beatles: From Liverpool to San Francisco then charts the band from their days playing in the Cavern Club to their US success. That’s followed by Ben Lewis’s recent The Beatles, Hippies & Hells Angels which looks at the rise and fall of their multimedia arm Apple Corps. SH Britain’s Got Talent ITV, 8.00pm With two golden buzzer acts already through to the live semi-finals, the fourth round of auditions heats up as more hopefuls strive to impress Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm It’s time to uncover Britain’s “Most Regency” town – and if eager Georgette Heyer fans were about to shout Bath, you are wrong. The answer, it turns out, is Cheltenham. Alice Roberts learns about Regency etiquette and uncovers why the pigeon is so important to the spa town. Casualty BBC One, 9.15pm Fans of the long-running medical drama get a treat here as the magnificently icy consultant Connie Beauchamp (Amanda Mealing) returns to work and instantly begins to reassert her authority. Elsewhere, doctor Ethan (George Rainsford) gets a shock when he visits the spot where his brother was murdered. The Great Rameses: New Evidence Revealed Channel 5, 10.10pm Channel 5’s latest series is a pretty straightforward but interesting-enough trawl through Ancient Egyptian history. The series begins with the story of Rameses II, who defeated the Hittites and was subsequently declared a living god by his people. SH Casablanca (1942, b/w) ★★★★★ ITV3, 3.00pm Humphrey Bogart’s Rick runs the American Bar in the eponymous Moroccan city, while Ingrid Bergman is the old flame who forces him to choose between his own heart and the fight against Nazism. Seventy six years on, Michael Curtiz’s Oscar-winning romantic drama is still a film to make the spirit soar; its finely drawn characters, quotable dialogue and haunting music have become iconic. Kajaki (2014) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 10.00pm; N Ireland, 11.00pm This tense film from Paul Katis tells the true story of British soldiers trapped in a mine-laden riverbed in Afghanistan. It not only convinces with its gory effects, but also with the agony each mine inflicts, and the delirium added when each man doses up with morphine: the acting from a uniformly strong ensemble cast, including Game of Thrones’s Mark Stanley, puts you right there. Sex and the City 2 (2010) ★★☆☆☆ ITV, 10.35pm SatC stalwarts will want a bite of this second film from the Big Apple franchise, but New York City is no more as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and friends head to Abu Dhabi. The fashion is outrageous, there’s a gay wedding with a swan, and Liza Minnelli does Beyoncé, but the whole thing is culturally insensitive and the women morph into cartoon characters. Turn off your brain and enjoy spending time with these old friends. Sunday 6 May Benoit Blin, Tom Allen, Liam Charles and Cherish Finden. Credit: Channel 4 Bake Off: The Professionals Channel 4, 8.00pm Completing the trifecta of Great British Bake Off shows that have switched from the BBC to Channel 4 is this competition for professional pâtissiers, formerly called Crème de la Crème. The six-part contest has wisely retained judges Benoit Blin and Cherish Finden, and hired new hosts in comedian Tom Allen and newcomer Liam Charles, who appeared in last year’s Bake Off. The format sees 12 teams of two pastry chefs compete in confectionery wars, beginning with the first half dozen. They’re tasked with making 24 tartes aux fruits and 24 tartes conversations [a sort of French Bakewell tart] followed by a show-stopping edible structure based on a Black Forest gâteau. The tension spikes as temperatures rise inside Firle Place in East Sussex, where it’s filmed – sweltering heat leads to high drama when contestants’ chocolate sculptures look in danger of toppling over. The appeal of the contest is in the staggering quality of the complicated pastries and edible works of art that the chefs turn out, which understandably knock the offerings of Bake Off’s amateurs into a cocked hat. And judges Blin and Finden are as theatrical as they are hard to please. This results in a scrumptious hour of food fetishism. Vicki Power Premier League Football: Chelsea v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 3.30pm Having won their last four games, Chelsea go into this match against third-placed Liverpool in good form. The Blues’ defence will have to be at its best, though: in Mohamed Salah, Liverpool have the most dangerous attacker in the league, and he’ll relish the opportunity to score against the club that sold him to Roma in 2016. When these sides met at Anfield, an 85th-minute goal from Willian ensured Chelsea salvaged a 1-1 draw. The Big Painting Challenge BBC One, 6.00pm It’s the final of this uplifting painting contest for amateurs, and the quartet of finalists relocate to Chatham Dockyards, where they must paint self-portraits. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm The arrival of the circus to Corfu provides the magic to bring Louisa (Keeley Hawes) and the recently separated Spiro (Alexis Georgoulis) ever closer in an emotional final episode of this beguiling drama. In fact, all of the Durrells have relationship upheavals, teeing up the action nicely for a fourth series. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Wilkie Collins’s Gothic thriller continues to compel in this fresh adaptation. In the penultimate episode, the women continue to suffer – clued-up Marian (Jessie Buckley) still has fever, rendering her unable to save her clueless half-sister Laura (Olivia Vinall) from the big twist we all know is coming. Ballet’s Dark Knight: Sir Kenneth MacMillan BBC Four, 9.00pm Darcey Bussell and Monica Mason are among the ballet stars who pay tribute to the choreographer Kenneth MacMillan in this excellent new biopic. Bussell, who worked with him at the age of 19, recalls how hard he pushed his dancers: “Nothing was ever good enough.” With contributions from MacMillan’s widow, Australian artist Deborah Williams, the documentary celebrates how the former artistic director of the Royal Ballet transformed ballet from polite pirouetting to a gritty, sexy art form. Michael Clark’s To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song BBC Four, 10.00pm Filmed at the Barbican in 2017, maverick choreographer Michael Clark’s acclaimed To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song is a mesmerising three-act piece in which he pays tribute to his greatest influences: punk music, Erik Satie and David Bowie. It is introduced here by Jarvis Cocker. VP Walter Presents: Tabula Rasa Channel 4, 10.15pm Belgium gives the Nordic lands a run for their money with another top-notch TV thriller. This nine-parter follows Mie D’Haeze (Veerle Baetens), an amnesiac psychiatric patient who finds she’s been implicated in a missing persons case. Her disturbed mind makes sorting the truth from fantasy virtually impossible. VP Megamind (2010) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 2.30pm DreamWorks’ fun tale of a Mekon-like, inept baddie is weird and witty. Directed by Tom McGrath, who was behind Madagascar, Will Ferrell leads voice duties, with funny turns from David Cross as his deputy, Minion, and Brad Pitt as his vain, buff, Aryan nemesis, the perpetually victorious Metro Man. An amusing quirk of Megamind’s is his affected pronunciation – he pronounces Metro City to rhyme with atrocity. The Boxtrolls (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 2.50pm There’s a cheerfully grotesque streak to this Oscar-winning stop-motion animation from the makers of Coraline and ParaNorman. In the town of Cheesebridge, a human boy raised by boxtrolls – trash-collecting creatures who live under the sewers wearing cardboard boxes – vows to save them from a villainous pest exterminator. It’s an endearing set-up and the carnival feel should please both adults and children. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 6.10pm The denouement to Peter Jackson’s grandiose adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s epic is the one that scooped an Oscar. Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) arrive at Mount Doom to destroy the Ring, both helped and hindered by the loathsome Gollum. Jackson’s only misjudgement is that the film meanders on for around half an hour after the real action is over. Bank Holiday Monday Peter Kay and Sian Gibson Credit: BBC Peter Kay’s Car Share Unscripted BBC One, 10.00pm The emergence of this improvised episode and the official climax to Peter Kay’s sitcom (airing next Bank Holiday Monday) is a treat for all sorts of reasons. Firstly, it would seem to allay concerns prompted by the comedian’s sudden cancellation of an extensive stand-up tour late last year. Secondly, it may offer closure to the many viewers left distraught by the cliffhanger ending to the second series, which saw straight-talking, outwardly stern John (Kay) fail to respond to the declaration of love proffered by co-worker and unsinkable romantic Kayleigh (Sian Gibson). And thirdly, it will mean one more hour in the company of these two beautifully drawn characters who felt like old friends from the moment they first appeared on our screens in 2015. This opening salvo sees Kay and Gibson ad-libbing in character, attempting to corpse each other with a ruthless lack of professionalism as John and Kayleigh drive home on their daily commute in John’s Fiat 500, their only company being the cheesy oldies radio station Forever FM. Don’t expect resolutions yet; instead, sit back and enjoy two fine performers rustling comic magic up out of thin air. Gabriel Tate The £100k Drop Channel 4, 4.00pm It has a new teatime slot and a 10th of the previous prize money, but Davina McCall is still in situ for this entertaining game show of general knowledge and playing the odds. Tenko True Entertainment, 6.00pm The classic BBC drama set in a Japanese POW camp for British, Dutch and Australian women interned after the fall of Singapore in 1942 is being aired every weeknight at 6.00pm. It’s unflinching in its explorations of friendship, sexuality and the degradations of war. Danceworks: The Dying Swan BBC Four, 7.30pm Beginning four consecutive nights of films exploring the world of British dance today, former Royal Ballet principal Zenaida Yanowsky explores the physical toll of her career as she attempts one final post-surgery comeback. Dispatches: Britain’s Benefits Crisis Channel 4, 7.30pm Morland Sanders investigates the Government’s roll-out of the Universal Credit scheme. It is ostensibly aimed at simplifying the benefits system but instead it is dogged by controversy, cuts to provisions and administrative glitches. ATP Masters Tennis: The Mutua Madrid Open Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm It’s the opening day of play in the clay-court tournament at the Caja Magica, where world number one and home favourite Rafael Nadal – in formidable form – is the event’s reigning champion. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Fiona Seres’s impressively sustained exploration of brutal, brittle masculinity and the stout resistance of their intended victims reaches a gripping climax as Lura (Olivia Vinall) and Marian (Jessie Buckley) strike back against the devious Fosco (Riccardo Scamarcio) and thuggish Sir Percival (Dougray Scott). The Road to Palmyra BBC Four, 9.00pm Ebullient historian Dan Cruickshank and wry photographer Don McCullin make an odd couple, yet their journey through a ravaged Syria casts new light on both the conflict as well as what the material and spiritual costs will be for future generations. GT Genderquake Channel 4, 9.00pm This gimmicky but occasionally enlightening TV experiment puts 11 strangers with different attitudes towards gender and sexuality in a house together for a week: prejudices are aired, preconceptions challenged and romances kindled. It concludes on Tuesday with further revelations and realisations, as well as a debate on the issues raised at 10.00pm. GT Forrest Gump (1994) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 9.00pm Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama is full of spirit – even if, at times, it’s slightly saccharine. Forrest (Tom Hanks) is a simpleton with a heart of gold, who, ever true to the homely advice of his mother (Sally Field) is reflecting on his improbable life as a Vietnam War hero, table-tennis champion and accidental millionaire. Hanks, depending on your sentimentality threshold, may prove to be adorable. Notting Hill (1999) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.20pm This is the second of Richard Curtis’s romcoms, after Four Weddings and a Funeral, about bumbling good eggs and frightfully pretty girls. Hugh Grant plays a London bookseller who attracts the attention of a film star (Julia Roberts) – it’s amusing, in particular when Grant’s character ineptly poses as a journalist from Horse & Hound magazine at a press junket for her sci-fi movie. Papillon (1973) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 11.00pm Based on the autobiography of petty criminal Henri Charrière – nicknamed Papillon because of his butterfly tattoo – this powerful prison drama is set in the infamous French penal colony Devil’s Island. Steve McQueen impressively stars as the title character, desperate to escape Devil’s Island’s gruesome brutality. Dustin Hoffman gives memorable support as his friend, the small-time fraudster Louis Dega. Tuesday 8 May Inspirational: Kate Humble with Emma and some alpacas Credit: BBC Back to the Land with Kate Humble BBC Two, 7.00pm There aren’t many TV shows that merit the word “inspirational” but Kate Humble’s series looking at the lives and work of entrepreneurial countryside pioneers around the UK does. Here she returns for another 12-part run, beginning by visiting four new start-ups in Cornwall which were prompted by a perceived gap in the market. Her clear favourites – she returns again and again to check on their progress – are free-diving seaweed harvesters Caro and Tim. This sustainability-aware pair were looking to work locally when they realised that, despite seaweed becoming more fashionable as a cooking ingredient, no one was harvesting the plentiful supply in the sea near them. Much hard work and ingenuity later, it’s an unlikely business idea that looks set to be a winner. Humble also meets a couple who reversed their farm’s declining fortunes by taking a leap of faith into free-range duck breeding, two best friends who supply native-flower bouquets to Cornwall’s booming high-end wedding market and a lavishly bearded brewer whose wild foraging in the local fields and hedgerows supplies the ingredients for his uniquely flavoured “wild” beers. Gerard O’Donovan Danceworks: Street to Stage BBC Four, 7.30pm Rising British star Dickson Mbi displays a range of talents in this film following him and his hip-hop popping team, Fiya House, competing in an international street dance competition. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm The Eurovision song contest circus kicks off tonight in Lisbon with the first semi-final featuring 19 countries (including Ireland) of the record-equalling 43 competing this year. UK fans have to wait for Saturday’s Grand Final to hear SuRie sing our entry, Storm. The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds Channel 4, 8.00pm The first in a two-part special exploring how children learn the difference between right and wrong, as another class of five-year-olds are challenged to decide if it’s OK to cheat and what to do when someone tells you a secret. Abandoned Engineering Yesterday, 8.00pm The series exploring mysterious abandoned buildings returns for a second series. This week, a vast labyrinth of crumbling tunnels, bunkers and towers in northern Poland, once a cutting-edge oil refinery, reveals its former role as a pivotal part of Hitler’s war machine. GO The Split BBC One, 9.00pm Abi Morgan’s legal drama hurries on apace with further revelations drawing us deeper into the lives of Hannah (Nicola Walker) and her dysfunctional family of lawyers. Tonight, things get heated in a case involving frozen embryos, and matriarch Ruth (Deborah Findlay) is evasive over finances. Later Live: with Jools Holland BBC Two, 10.00pm Returning for a 52nd series, Jools Holland welcomes more acts to play live in studio. Among them are Snow Patrol, Plan B, Bettye Lavette, and rising stars Shame and Jade Bird. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle: The Engagement Interview BBC One, 11.40pm; NI/Wales, 12.05am; Scot, 12.45am In case you won’t catch the endless clips in royal wedding-related programming over the next 10 days, here’s a repeat of the interview the couple gave Mishal Husain at Kensington Palace last year on the day they announced their engagement. GO My Cousin Rachel (2017) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 2.30pm and 11.30pm “Did she? Didn’t she?” ponders stricken hero Philip Ashley about the titular character and the possible murder of her husband/his cousin. This is based on Daphne du Maurier’s 1951 novel, but there was also a film version in 1952, an Eighties BBC version, on radio, and on the stage. Young Philip, the heir to a fortune, is played in Roger Michell’s stylish but sexless adaptation by a rakish Sam Claflin. Hot Fuzz (2007) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s follow-up to the cult comedy-horror Shaun of the Dead (and the second chapter in the Cornetto Trilogy) reunites Pegg with Nick Frost in the story of two policemen who uncover a conspiracy in a Somerset village. Timothy Dalton is a sinister triumph as a millionaire baddy. Sharp, funny and with explosive action scenes, it’s a very British action-comedy that does everything it should. Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice? (1969) ★★★☆☆ Talking Pictures TV, 9.00pm This is the third in a trilogy of Robert Aldrich-produced films (following What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte). It also features two female leads – this time, an Arizona widow (Geraldine Page) hires housekeepers to con them out of their money before murdering them, but Ruth Gordon’s Alice Dimmock isn’t easily fooled. Wednesday 9 May Healthy outlook: Fearnley-Whittingstall with volunteer Janet Credit: BBC Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall BBC One, 9.00pm; Scotland, 10.45pm He tried to get Newcastle exercising together and demonstrated to the unconvinced in Bristol just how much sugar there is in a smoothie, now, in this final episode, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall faces his toughest test of all – he heading to the Tory Party Conference to speak about obesity and attempting to get an audience with Health Minister Jeremy Hunt. But can he convince the ministers – and the hard-to-pin-down Hunt – that they need to do more to combat both national awareness of what we eat and the country’s fitness levels? First, he checks in with some of those who have signed up for the Newcastle Can scheme; heads out for a surfing lesson with Janet, a willing but struggling participant; trials a weight-loss experiment at the GP’s surgery and looks at the way in which marketing affects our understanding of food. Whether or not he manages to replicate the impact that Jamie Oliver had on the government during his school dinners campaign remains to be seen, but this impassioned series will surely have convinced the UK’s couch potatoes that it’s time to embrace the sunnier weather and start walking. Sarah Hughes DanceWorks: Choreographing History BBC Four, 7.30pm “With contemporary dance we don’t inherit ready-made stories, so we have to make up our own,” says choreographer Shobana Jeyasingh in this fascinating film. Jeyasingh’s latest work, Contagion, takes the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic as its subject, and this documentary follows her as she translates her research into a haunting, beautiful piece of work. The Secret Life of the Zoo Channel 4, 8.00pm The fallout from orangutan Emma’s pregnancy continues this week as the new mother pushes away the older child to raise the baby, leaving the zoo staff increasingly worried as to how the abandoned youth will cope. Mystery of the Lost Paintings Sky Arts, 8.00pm This episode examines the 1958 fire at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, which destroyed two of Monet’s famous Water Lily paintings, before attempting to digitally reconstruct one of the damaged works. Love in the Countryside BBC Two, 9.00pm Everything moves up a gear as lovelorn dairy farmers Pete and Ed invite their three prospective partners over for a weekend. Cue early issues as fiftysomethings Helen and Caroline struggle in the face of thirtysomething Frannie’s more obvious assets. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm It’s an emotional finale at the Birmingham Women’s Hospital as we meet Lauren and Rachel, who are preparing for a second child, and Urwah and Nadhia, who are about to meet their fifth. Meanwhile, Laura and Paul, friends turned lovers, have nine kids between them and another on the way. Harry & Meghan: A Love Story Sky One, 9.00pm Bafta-winning film-maker Toby Sculthorp turns his eye to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, talking to close friends and former head of the British Army, Richard Dannatt. SH Tortured By Mum and Dad: The Turpin 13 Channel 5, 10.00pm When 13 children were discovered shackled and starved by their parents, David and Louise Turpin earlier this year, it made global headlines. This documentary returns to the case, asking how the pair managed to hide their terrible secret for so long. A Walk in the Woods (2015) ★★☆☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Robert Redford turns Bill Bryson’s elegant travelogue about his middle-aged attempt on the Appalachian Trail – a 2,000-mile trek through the eastern United States – into a sloppy sitcom. The great American outdoors, however, are shot in picturesque fashion. Nick Nolte and Emma Thompson star as Bryson’s travelling partners, who at least reveal that the human condition is no walk in the park. Scream (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 10.00pm Wes Craven rebooted the teenage-horror genre with Scream. It’s gory, but clever and funny, too, particularly in its own self-awareness: the characters talk constantly about being in a slasher movie. And Craven wrong-foots us with a terrific opening sequence that gleefully breaks the rules of film-making. Courteney Cox and Neve Campbell star. The sequel Scream 2 is on Friday at 11.00pm. I Love You, Man (2009) ★★★★☆ 5STAR, 11.00pm Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. Thursday 10 May Michael C Hall (centre) in Safe Credit: Netflix Safe Netflix, from today For the man who played serial-killing forensics expert Dexter and funeral director David in Six Feet Under, it’s fitting that we first encounter Michael C Hall’s latest deeply flawed antihero, Tom Delaney, by his wife’s grave in this opening set-piece of his new drama. This UK-set eight-parter then skips forward six years, with Tom (Hall’s English accent is pretty passable) managing two teenage daughters, his work as a paediatric surgeon and life in a “safe” gated community. What becomes rapidly clear is that his neighbours are also nursing guilty secrets and haunted by past failures: from best mate Marc Warren and Amanda Abbingdon’s dogged detective to Nigel Lindsay’s jovial life-and-soul type. Then Tom’s oldest daughter goes missing during a house party, and skeletons tumble out of closets in an enjoyably twist-riddled affair. The first collaboration between Safe’s co-creators, bestselling novelist Harlan Coben and screenwriter Danny Brocklehurst (Accused; Ordinary Lies; Come Home), marries the former’s love of a cliffhanger and skill with fast-paced narrative with the latter’s facility for character and emotional insight. Gabriel Tate PGA Tour Golf: The Players Championship Sky Sports the Players, 12.30pm It’s day one of the tournament widely regarded as the unofficial fifth Major, held at TPC Sawgrass in Florida. Last year, Kim Si-Woo, at 21, became the youngest champion in Players history and it was much deserved: his was a nerveless display that belied his young age. Danceworks: Prejudice and Passion BBC Four, 7.30pm Choreographer Carlos Pons Guerra invites the cameras into his latest production for children at the Birmingham Rep, a work challenging assumptions of gender and identity with its story of two male penguins raising a chick together. Premier League Football: West Ham United v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm Looking to secure their safety, relegation-threatened West Ham United welcome Manchester United to the Olympic Stadium. The Hammers will need to banish the memories of their last match against Man United, when Anthony Martial, Paul Pogba and a brace from Romelu Lukaku gave Jose Mourinho’s side a 4-0 win. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm Rylan Clark-Neal and Scott Mills are joined by British Eurovision hopeful SuRie to introduce coverage of the second semi-final from Lisbon, with 10 of the 18 featured acts making it to Saturday’s final. Food Unwrapped: China Special Channel 4, 8.00pm Jimmy Doherty and his team explore artisanal and commercial methods of production for garlic, noodles, soy sauce and fortune cookies. Red Ape: Saving the Orangutan BBC Two, 9.00pm This alarming and frequently harrowing documentary makes direct connections between Borneo’s plummeting orangutan population, the boom in illegal animal trading and rocketing global demand for palm oil, but there are glimmers of hope, due to the ceaseless diligence of local activists. Urban Myths: David Bowie and Marc Bolan Sky Arts, 9.00pm Luke Treadaway and Jack Whitehall star as the teenage David Bowie and Marc Bolan in this by turns silly and oddly poignant comedy of two icons bonding, bickering and dreaming of stardom while earning a crust decorating their manager’s office. GT Riot Girls Channel 4, 10.00pm A gleefully ribald new prank show from the supremely talented and smart quartet of Grace Campbell, Jen Wakefield, Cam Spence and Sophie Duker, using stunts to highlight the casual sexism and gender inequality in society from manspreading on the tube to contraception. It’s as crude as it is funny and effective. Great Art ITV, 10.45pm; not STV Tim Marlow’s admirably unadorned visual arts series returns to profile a man not unscrutinised over the years, but if this pen portrait fails to add much new to the David Hockney story, it’s an efficient and entertaining primer, focusing on his Royal Academy landscape and portraiture exhibitions of 2012 and 2016. GT The Bourne Supremacy (2004) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Continuing the story of Jason Bourne, this sequel sees the former assassin (Matt Damon) living in Goa with his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente) when a Russian assassin arrives to plunge him back into the deep end of a CIA conspiracy. While this is not quite on a par with the first film, Paul Greengrass’s direction is typically exhilarating, and Joan Allen and Brian Cox lend excellent support. Cocktail (1988) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 11.10pm Tom Cruise plays a tequila-tossing barman in this romantic drama which cashed in on his heart-throb image. After leaving the army, Brian (Cruise) gets a job working in a Manhattan bar. His Martini mentor is Doug (Bryan Brown), who soon teaches him the tricks of the trade, but when the pair fall out over a girl, Brian heads for the Caribbean. It’s a bland concoction but strangely agreeable. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) ★★★★☆ Film4, 11.15pm This startling debut by Marielle Heller shows the funny side of a teenager’s explorations into her sexuality as a 15-year-old wannabe cartoonist Minnie (Bel Powley) seduces her mother’s 35-year-old boyfriend Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård). Heller’s nimble direction and clever script ensure that the film never paints either Minnie or Monroe entirely as victim or predator. Friday 11 May Thure Lindhardt and Sofia Helin in The Bridge Credit: BBC The Bridge BBC Two, 9.00pm With the exception perhaps of Wallander, of all the Scandi-noir characters that we’ve seen in recent years it is The Bridge’s Saga Norén (Sofia Helin), a committed Malmö detective with a level of social dysfunction that implies autism, who has burrowed deepest into the hearts of UK viewers. She struggles to cope emotionally with the world around her, but that only makes us like her all the more. When last we saw Saga, at the close of series three two years ago, she had solved another major murder case but stood accused herself of killing her abusive mother. At least she had the consolation of meeting a soulmate of sorts in Henrik Sabroe (Thure Lindhardt), a police colleague from across the Øresund bridge linking Sweden and Denmark, and a man deeply damaged by the murder of his wife and the disappearance of his two young daughters. At the start of this instantly gripping fourth and final series, things are not looking good for Saga as she wakes up in a cold, grey, unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile, Henrik is called to the scene of a particularly grizzly murder in Copenhagen that has a link to the controversial deportation of an Iranian illegal immigrant. Gerard O’Donovan Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist Netflix, from today A bank raid gone wrong, a horrific bomb-collar murder, a cat and mouse hunt by the FBI to track down a former beauty queen turned self-styled criminal. This anticipated documentary picks apart the bizarre story of the so-called “pizza bomber heist” that gripped the city of Erie, Pennsylvania, in 2003. Fifteen years later, the discovery of new evidence suggests that the story could be even more strange. The One Show: NHS Patients Awards Special BBC One, 7.00pm A special edition marking the 70th anniversary of the NHS and celebrating the work of doctors, nurses and medical staff who deliver outstanding care – as nominated by viewers and the Patients Association. Matt Baker and Alex Jones present. BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm Violinist Nicola Benedetti and trumpeter Alison Balsom join presenter Josie D’Arby for the competition’s semi-final, in which five individual category winners – including percussionist Matthew Brett, cellist Maxim Calver and saxophonist Robert Burton – compete for a place in the final. The judges include conductor Jessica Cottis and composer Kerry Andrew. GO Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Krishnan Guru-Murthy reports from the popular tourist resorts of the Dominican Republic, where a UN investigation has uncovered shocking crimes against young people at the hands of sex tourists. Britain’s Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson Channel 5, 8.00pm In the final programme of his excellent series, Tony Robinson recounts the tangled – and entertaining – history of Winchester Cathedral, whose bishops were once among the richest, most influential and worst behaved in Britain – and where one of England’s greatest novelists, Jane Austen, is buried. Portillo’s Hidden History of Britain Channel 5, 9.00pm Bringing his foray to a close, former defence secretary Michael Portillo visits the village of Imber on the Salisbury Plain, which was taken over by the Army in 1943 for use as a wartime training ground and, despite promises to the contrary, still remains in the hands of the military. GO Test Cricket: Ireland v Pakistan Sky Sports Main Event, 11.50pm A historic occasion, this, as Ireland play their first-ever Test match, with Pakistan as the opposition at Malahide Cricket Club. Over the next few years, Ireland will have 60-65 home internationals, including 15 Test matches. Uncapped batsman Imam-ul-Haq, the nephew of former skipper Inzamam, has been named in Pakistan’s squad. Northern Soul (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 11.15pm The nostalgia is potent in this chronicle of the popular northern soul dance halls in the Seventies. The soundtrack is as evocative and wonderful as you might expect, and the drama offers a charming slice of social and cultural Lancashire history. It’s just a shame that the storyline has to follow the same innocent young man led astray/conflict-resolution story arc of nearly every coming-of-age film out there. Buried (2010) ★★★☆☆ BBC One, 11.55pm; N Ireland, 12.25am Ryan Reynolds plays an American truck driver ambushed in Iraq and buried by insurgents in a coffin, with only a phone and a Zippo lighter at his disposal. One might assume the dramatic opportunities for a man in this predicament are finite, but Chris Sparling’s inventive screenplay and Rodrigo Cortés’ direction open up the story beyond the confines of the space in which Reynolds is trapped. The Crying Game (1992) ★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.05am Neil Jordan’s tremendous psychological thriller, set against the backdrop of the Irish Troubles, still contains one of the great cinematic twists. Stephen Rea stars as Provisional IRA volunteer Fergus, who helps to kidnap a British soldier (US actor Forest Whitaker) in order to secure the release of jailed IRA members. However, things go wrong when Fergus begins to form a bond with his prisoner. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
What's on TV tonight: Friday Night Dinner, Home from Home and more
Friday 4 May Friday Night Dinner Channel 4, 10.00pm Friday Night Dinner is a one of those sitcoms that you either love or loathe, depending on your appreciation of slapstick and smutty jokes. Whichever camp you are in, the comedy has made it to a fifth series. And for those who do love it, this opening episode sees brothers Adam and Jonny (Simon Bird and Tom Rosenthal) turn up for their standard Friday night dinner, only to discover their parents Martin and Jackie (Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig) enjoying their new hot tub (because it is apparently still the Seventies) and planning Chinese takeaway. That all changes, however, once their hapless neighbour Jim (Mark Heap) decides to leave his dog with them because of he has a hot date. Cue lots of “jokes” about internet food, furtive sex and whether going to the takeaway down the road is “very 1930s”. The excellent cast all do their best – Rosenthal is particularly good at drily delivering the put-downs – but creator Robert Popper’s farce-heavy script requires them to do far too much heavy lifting. By the time Jim appears at the door with dirt-streaked hands and a compulsively giggling lady friend, you may find yourself silently weeping at the clunky agony of it all. SH Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Rania Abouzeid reports from Kabul, where kidnappings are a daily occurrence. Here, Abouzeid explores two cases – one involving a teenager who has been held for nine months – and discovers that there are no easy answers. This is a bleak but important piece of reporting. SH Home from Home BBC One, 9.30pm The ghost of Ever Decreasing Circles continues to haunt this amiable sitcom, although it lacks the dark edge of the Richard Briers hit. Here, a fed-up Neil (Johnny Vegas) throws a party, much to his snobby neighbour Robert’s (Adam James) delight. SH Episodes BBC Two, 10.00pm; Wales, 11.05pm The final series of the acerbic satire of Hollywood has been an absolute delight. And that continues with this episode as Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Bev (Tamsin Greig) discover just how far Matt (Matt LeBlanc) is prepared to go in order to get a co-creator credit. SH High & Dry Channel 4, 10.30pm Marc Wootton’s comedy about a group of plane crash survivors initially seems behind the times given that Lost ended eight years ago. However, stick with it because Wootton is in fine comedy monster mode as air steward Brett. Plus, the whole thing perks up once Vicky Pepperdine arrives as indomitable survivor Harriet. SH Too Fat for Love BBC Three, from 10.00am There’s a touch of the Carrie Bradshaw’s about this film in which vlogger Emma B asks the question: are we [the plus-sized community] too fat for love? To answer that, Emma talks to other plus-sized women, tries out life modelling and attends a sex tips class. The result is an entertaining film that is particularly astute about the way in which society portrays larger people. SH The Jazz Ambassadors BBC Four, 9.00pm This intriguing documentary tells the story of how congressman Adam Clayton Powell Jr convinced President Eisenhower to use jazz artists as cultural ambassadors, sending them on global tours to tackle Soviet propaganda. As the tours progressed, the musicians, including Louis Armstrong, found themselves increasingly conflicted: how could they promote America as the Land of the Free when the US’s Jim Crow segregation laws made them second-class citizens back home? SH Dunkirk (2017) ★★★★★ Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm Director Christopher Nolan (who, bafflingly, is still yet to win an Oscar), takes a novel approach to the Dunkirk evacuation. Told through three separate perspectives, taking place in the air, the sea and on land, the film is a disorientating, dazzling, superbly crafted tribute to their bravery. Tom Hardy, Kenneth Branagh, Mark Rylance and Harry Styles are among the cast. Magic Mike (2012) ★★★★☆ E4, 9.00pm Steven Soderbergh made a surprise decision to tackle the world of male strippers in Tampa, Florida, and exceeded every expectation: it’s one of his most enjoyable movies. Channing Tatum, in a story based on his own pre-Hollywood career, is revelatory – and Soderbergh works similar wonders with young star Alex Pettyfer and the resurgent Matthew McConaughey as the club’s smooth-talking, cowboy-hat-wearing owner. Non-Stop (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Liam Neeson is the dolorous air marshal who spends most of this film bounding up and down the aisle of a hijacked plane with a time-bomb under his arm in a plot so absurd that you can’t help but smile. Every passenger is a suspect, even Julianne Moore’s sweet heart-surgery patient. But Neeson wears the action-hero mantle so comfortably nowadays that you’ll become engrossed. Saturday 5 May Is that your final answer? Jeremy Clarkson takes over as host Credit: ITV Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? ITV, 9.15pm Judith Keppel winning, the Coughing Major cheating, Chris Tarrant smirking – for a brief period at the turn of the century Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? was the hottest programme on TV. One episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers and the show went on to inspire a bestselling novel, Q&A, which in turn became Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s 2008 Oscar-winning film. In truth, the quiz series only left TV screens four years ago, but it’s the heady early years that ITV is clearly hoping to repeat with this new version to commemorate the 20th anniversaryof the programme. So, what can we expect? It will air every night this week, and there’s a new host, Jeremy Clarkson, who’s roaring in to replace Tarrant. The old lifeline favourites – Phone a Friend, Ask the Audience and 50/50 – remain in place, although ITV have confirmed that there will be a fourth – Ask the Host. Contestants will also be allowed to set their own safety net, traditionally £32,000, once they reach question five. But is it possible for this version to capture the public’s imagination in these days of peak TV? One thing is certain: Clarkson has just the right amount of cocky charm to make a go of it as host. Sarah Hughes Happy Tent Tales CBeebies iPlayer,from today The BBC’s preschool series of live-action folk tales continues with five traditional stories presented by Karina O’Malley. There’s Welsh fairy tale The Golden Harp, traditional Scottish fable The Eagle and the Wren, and a lovely take on one of Aesop’s best, The Fox and the Crow. Rugby Union: Army v Navy Sky Sports Arena, 2.45pm Twickenham is the setting as the two Armed Forces compete for the Babcock trophy. Women’s FA Cup Football: Arsenal Women v Chelsea Ladies BBC One, 5.10pm Arsenal Women take on Chelsea Ladies in the final of the FA Cup, which takes place at Wembley Stadium. Fourteen-time winners Arsenal overcame Everton Ladies 2-1 in their semi-final, while Chelsea defeated the holders Manchester City 2-0. This match is a repeat of the 2016 fixture, in which the Gunners emerged victorious 1-0, thanks to Danielle Carter’s early strike. Beatles Night Sky Arts, from 6.00pm Sky Arts celebrates all things Fab Four with films tracing The Beatles from their humble beginnings to the heady heights of becoming the most famous pop band in the world. First up is My Beatles Black Album with Charles Hazlewood, in which the composer creates a mix of solo tracks by members of the band. The Beatles: From Liverpool to San Francisco then charts the band from their days playing in the Cavern Club to their US success. That’s followed by Ben Lewis’s recent The Beatles, Hippies & Hells Angels which looks at the rise and fall of their multimedia arm Apple Corps. SH Britain’s Got Talent ITV, 8.00pm With two golden buzzer acts already through to the live semi-finals, the fourth round of auditions heats up as more hopefuls strive to impress Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm It’s time to uncover Britain’s “Most Regency” town – and if eager Georgette Heyer fans were about to shout Bath, you are wrong. The answer, it turns out, is Cheltenham. Alice Roberts learns about Regency etiquette and uncovers why the pigeon is so important to the spa town. Casualty BBC One, 9.15pm Fans of the long-running medical drama get a treat here as the magnificently icy consultant Connie Beauchamp (Amanda Mealing) returns to work and instantly begins to reassert her authority. Elsewhere, doctor Ethan (George Rainsford) gets a shock when he visits the spot where his brother was murdered. The Great Rameses: New Evidence Revealed Channel 5, 10.10pm Channel 5’s latest series is a pretty straightforward but interesting-enough trawl through Ancient Egyptian history. The series begins with the story of Rameses II, who defeated the Hittites and was subsequently declared a living god by his people. SH Casablanca (1942, b/w) ★★★★★ ITV3, 3.00pm Humphrey Bogart’s Rick runs the American Bar in the eponymous Moroccan city, while Ingrid Bergman is the old flame who forces him to choose between his own heart and the fight against Nazism. Seventy six years on, Michael Curtiz’s Oscar-winning romantic drama is still a film to make the spirit soar; its finely drawn characters, quotable dialogue and haunting music have become iconic. Kajaki (2014) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 10.00pm; N Ireland, 11.00pm This tense film from Paul Katis tells the true story of British soldiers trapped in a mine-laden riverbed in Afghanistan. It not only convinces with its gory effects, but also with the agony each mine inflicts, and the delirium added when each man doses up with morphine: the acting from a uniformly strong ensemble cast, including Game of Thrones’s Mark Stanley, puts you right there. Sex and the City 2 (2010) ★★☆☆☆ ITV, 10.35pm SatC stalwarts will want a bite of this second film from the Big Apple franchise, but New York City is no more as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and friends head to Abu Dhabi. The fashion is outrageous, there’s a gay wedding with a swan, and Liza Minnelli does Beyoncé, but the whole thing is culturally insensitive and the women morph into cartoon characters. Turn off your brain and enjoy spending time with these old friends. Sunday 6 May Benoit Blin, Tom Allen, Liam Charles and Cherish Finden. Credit: Channel 4 Bake Off: The Professionals Channel 4, 8.00pm Completing the trifecta of Great British Bake Off shows that have switched from the BBC to Channel 4 is this competition for professional pâtissiers, formerly called Crème de la Crème. The six-part contest has wisely retained judges Benoit Blin and Cherish Finden, and hired new hosts in comedian Tom Allen and newcomer Liam Charles, who appeared in last year’s Bake Off. The format sees 12 teams of two pastry chefs compete in confectionery wars, beginning with the first half dozen. They’re tasked with making 24 tartes aux fruits and 24 tartes conversations [a sort of French Bakewell tart] followed by a show-stopping edible structure based on a Black Forest gâteau. The tension spikes as temperatures rise inside Firle Place in East Sussex, where it’s filmed – sweltering heat leads to high drama when contestants’ chocolate sculptures look in danger of toppling over. The appeal of the contest is in the staggering quality of the complicated pastries and edible works of art that the chefs turn out, which understandably knock the offerings of Bake Off’s amateurs into a cocked hat. And judges Blin and Finden are as theatrical as they are hard to please. This results in a scrumptious hour of food fetishism. Vicki Power Premier League Football: Chelsea v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 3.30pm Having won their last four games, Chelsea go into this match against third-placed Liverpool in good form. The Blues’ defence will have to be at its best, though: in Mohamed Salah, Liverpool have the most dangerous attacker in the league, and he’ll relish the opportunity to score against the club that sold him to Roma in 2016. When these sides met at Anfield, an 85th-minute goal from Willian ensured Chelsea salvaged a 1-1 draw. The Big Painting Challenge BBC One, 6.00pm It’s the final of this uplifting painting contest for amateurs, and the quartet of finalists relocate to Chatham Dockyards, where they must paint self-portraits. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm The arrival of the circus to Corfu provides the magic to bring Louisa (Keeley Hawes) and the recently separated Spiro (Alexis Georgoulis) ever closer in an emotional final episode of this beguiling drama. In fact, all of the Durrells have relationship upheavals, teeing up the action nicely for a fourth series. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Wilkie Collins’s Gothic thriller continues to compel in this fresh adaptation. In the penultimate episode, the women continue to suffer – clued-up Marian (Jessie Buckley) still has fever, rendering her unable to save her clueless half-sister Laura (Olivia Vinall) from the big twist we all know is coming. Ballet’s Dark Knight: Sir Kenneth MacMillan BBC Four, 9.00pm Darcey Bussell and Monica Mason are among the ballet stars who pay tribute to the choreographer Kenneth MacMillan in this excellent new biopic. Bussell, who worked with him at the age of 19, recalls how hard he pushed his dancers: “Nothing was ever good enough.” With contributions from MacMillan’s widow, Australian artist Deborah Williams, the documentary celebrates how the former artistic director of the Royal Ballet transformed ballet from polite pirouetting to a gritty, sexy art form. Michael Clark’s To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song BBC Four, 10.00pm Filmed at the Barbican in 2017, maverick choreographer Michael Clark’s acclaimed To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song is a mesmerising three-act piece in which he pays tribute to his greatest influences: punk music, Erik Satie and David Bowie. It is introduced here by Jarvis Cocker. VP Walter Presents: Tabula Rasa Channel 4, 10.15pm Belgium gives the Nordic lands a run for their money with another top-notch TV thriller. This nine-parter follows Mie D’Haeze (Veerle Baetens), an amnesiac psychiatric patient who finds she’s been implicated in a missing persons case. Her disturbed mind makes sorting the truth from fantasy virtually impossible. VP Megamind (2010) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 2.30pm DreamWorks’ fun tale of a Mekon-like, inept baddie is weird and witty. Directed by Tom McGrath, who was behind Madagascar, Will Ferrell leads voice duties, with funny turns from David Cross as his deputy, Minion, and Brad Pitt as his vain, buff, Aryan nemesis, the perpetually victorious Metro Man. An amusing quirk of Megamind’s is his affected pronunciation – he pronounces Metro City to rhyme with atrocity. The Boxtrolls (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 2.50pm There’s a cheerfully grotesque streak to this Oscar-winning stop-motion animation from the makers of Coraline and ParaNorman. In the town of Cheesebridge, a human boy raised by boxtrolls – trash-collecting creatures who live under the sewers wearing cardboard boxes – vows to save them from a villainous pest exterminator. It’s an endearing set-up and the carnival feel should please both adults and children. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 6.10pm The denouement to Peter Jackson’s grandiose adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s epic is the one that scooped an Oscar. Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) arrive at Mount Doom to destroy the Ring, both helped and hindered by the loathsome Gollum. Jackson’s only misjudgement is that the film meanders on for around half an hour after the real action is over. Bank Holiday Monday Peter Kay and Sian Gibson Credit: BBC Peter Kay’s Car Share Unscripted BBC One, 10.00pm The emergence of this improvised episode and the official climax to Peter Kay’s sitcom (airing next Bank Holiday Monday) is a treat for all sorts of reasons. Firstly, it would seem to allay concerns prompted by the comedian’s sudden cancellation of an extensive stand-up tour late last year. Secondly, it may offer closure to the many viewers left distraught by the cliffhanger ending to the second series, which saw straight-talking, outwardly stern John (Kay) fail to respond to the declaration of love proffered by co-worker and unsinkable romantic Kayleigh (Sian Gibson). And thirdly, it will mean one more hour in the company of these two beautifully drawn characters who felt like old friends from the moment they first appeared on our screens in 2015. This opening salvo sees Kay and Gibson ad-libbing in character, attempting to corpse each other with a ruthless lack of professionalism as John and Kayleigh drive home on their daily commute in John’s Fiat 500, their only company being the cheesy oldies radio station Forever FM. Don’t expect resolutions yet; instead, sit back and enjoy two fine performers rustling comic magic up out of thin air. Gabriel Tate The £100k Drop Channel 4, 4.00pm It has a new teatime slot and a 10th of the previous prize money, but Davina McCall is still in situ for this entertaining game show of general knowledge and playing the odds. Tenko True Entertainment, 6.00pm The classic BBC drama set in a Japanese POW camp for British, Dutch and Australian women interned after the fall of Singapore in 1942 is being aired every weeknight at 6.00pm. It’s unflinching in its explorations of friendship, sexuality and the degradations of war. Danceworks: The Dying Swan BBC Four, 7.30pm Beginning four consecutive nights of films exploring the world of British dance today, former Royal Ballet principal Zenaida Yanowsky explores the physical toll of her career as she attempts one final post-surgery comeback. Dispatches: Britain’s Benefits Crisis Channel 4, 7.30pm Morland Sanders investigates the Government’s roll-out of the Universal Credit scheme. It is ostensibly aimed at simplifying the benefits system but instead it is dogged by controversy, cuts to provisions and administrative glitches. ATP Masters Tennis: The Mutua Madrid Open Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm It’s the opening day of play in the clay-court tournament at the Caja Magica, where world number one and home favourite Rafael Nadal – in formidable form – is the event’s reigning champion. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Fiona Seres’s impressively sustained exploration of brutal, brittle masculinity and the stout resistance of their intended victims reaches a gripping climax as Lura (Olivia Vinall) and Marian (Jessie Buckley) strike back against the devious Fosco (Riccardo Scamarcio) and thuggish Sir Percival (Dougray Scott). The Road to Palmyra BBC Four, 9.00pm Ebullient historian Dan Cruickshank and wry photographer Don McCullin make an odd couple, yet their journey through a ravaged Syria casts new light on both the conflict as well as what the material and spiritual costs will be for future generations. GT Genderquake Channel 4, 9.00pm This gimmicky but occasionally enlightening TV experiment puts 11 strangers with different attitudes towards gender and sexuality in a house together for a week: prejudices are aired, preconceptions challenged and romances kindled. It concludes on Tuesday with further revelations and realisations, as well as a debate on the issues raised at 10.00pm. GT Forrest Gump (1994) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 9.00pm Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama is full of spirit – even if, at times, it’s slightly saccharine. Forrest (Tom Hanks) is a simpleton with a heart of gold, who, ever true to the homely advice of his mother (Sally Field) is reflecting on his improbable life as a Vietnam War hero, table-tennis champion and accidental millionaire. Hanks, depending on your sentimentality threshold, may prove to be adorable. Notting Hill (1999) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.20pm This is the second of Richard Curtis’s romcoms, after Four Weddings and a Funeral, about bumbling good eggs and frightfully pretty girls. Hugh Grant plays a London bookseller who attracts the attention of a film star (Julia Roberts) – it’s amusing, in particular when Grant’s character ineptly poses as a journalist from Horse & Hound magazine at a press junket for her sci-fi movie. Papillon (1973) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 11.00pm Based on the autobiography of petty criminal Henri Charrière – nicknamed Papillon because of his butterfly tattoo – this powerful prison drama is set in the infamous French penal colony Devil’s Island. Steve McQueen impressively stars as the title character, desperate to escape Devil’s Island’s gruesome brutality. Dustin Hoffman gives memorable support as his friend, the small-time fraudster Louis Dega. Tuesday 8 May Inspirational: Kate Humble with Emma and some alpacas Credit: BBC Back to the Land with Kate Humble BBC Two, 7.00pm There aren’t many TV shows that merit the word “inspirational” but Kate Humble’s series looking at the lives and work of entrepreneurial countryside pioneers around the UK does. Here she returns for another 12-part run, beginning by visiting four new start-ups in Cornwall which were prompted by a perceived gap in the market. Her clear favourites – she returns again and again to check on their progress – are free-diving seaweed harvesters Caro and Tim. This sustainability-aware pair were looking to work locally when they realised that, despite seaweed becoming more fashionable as a cooking ingredient, no one was harvesting the plentiful supply in the sea near them. Much hard work and ingenuity later, it’s an unlikely business idea that looks set to be a winner. Humble also meets a couple who reversed their farm’s declining fortunes by taking a leap of faith into free-range duck breeding, two best friends who supply native-flower bouquets to Cornwall’s booming high-end wedding market and a lavishly bearded brewer whose wild foraging in the local fields and hedgerows supplies the ingredients for his uniquely flavoured “wild” beers. Gerard O’Donovan Danceworks: Street to Stage BBC Four, 7.30pm Rising British star Dickson Mbi displays a range of talents in this film following him and his hip-hop popping team, Fiya House, competing in an international street dance competition. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm The Eurovision song contest circus kicks off tonight in Lisbon with the first semi-final featuring 19 countries (including Ireland) of the record-equalling 43 competing this year. UK fans have to wait for Saturday’s Grand Final to hear SuRie sing our entry, Storm. The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds Channel 4, 8.00pm The first in a two-part special exploring how children learn the difference between right and wrong, as another class of five-year-olds are challenged to decide if it’s OK to cheat and what to do when someone tells you a secret. Abandoned Engineering Yesterday, 8.00pm The series exploring mysterious abandoned buildings returns for a second series. This week, a vast labyrinth of crumbling tunnels, bunkers and towers in northern Poland, once a cutting-edge oil refinery, reveals its former role as a pivotal part of Hitler’s war machine. GO The Split BBC One, 9.00pm Abi Morgan’s legal drama hurries on apace with further revelations drawing us deeper into the lives of Hannah (Nicola Walker) and her dysfunctional family of lawyers. Tonight, things get heated in a case involving frozen embryos, and matriarch Ruth (Deborah Findlay) is evasive over finances. Later Live: with Jools Holland BBC Two, 10.00pm Returning for a 52nd series, Jools Holland welcomes more acts to play live in studio. Among them are Snow Patrol, Plan B, Bettye Lavette, and rising stars Shame and Jade Bird. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle: The Engagement Interview BBC One, 11.40pm; NI/Wales, 12.05am; Scot, 12.45am In case you won’t catch the endless clips in royal wedding-related programming over the next 10 days, here’s a repeat of the interview the couple gave Mishal Husain at Kensington Palace last year on the day they announced their engagement. GO My Cousin Rachel (2017) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 2.30pm and 11.30pm “Did she? Didn’t she?” ponders stricken hero Philip Ashley about the titular character and the possible murder of her husband/his cousin. This is based on Daphne du Maurier’s 1951 novel, but there was also a film version in 1952, an Eighties BBC version, on radio, and on the stage. Young Philip, the heir to a fortune, is played in Roger Michell’s stylish but sexless adaptation by a rakish Sam Claflin. Hot Fuzz (2007) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s follow-up to the cult comedy-horror Shaun of the Dead (and the second chapter in the Cornetto Trilogy) reunites Pegg with Nick Frost in the story of two policemen who uncover a conspiracy in a Somerset village. Timothy Dalton is a sinister triumph as a millionaire baddy. Sharp, funny and with explosive action scenes, it’s a very British action-comedy that does everything it should. Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice? (1969) ★★★☆☆ Talking Pictures TV, 9.00pm This is the third in a trilogy of Robert Aldrich-produced films (following What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte). It also features two female leads – this time, an Arizona widow (Geraldine Page) hires housekeepers to con them out of their money before murdering them, but Ruth Gordon’s Alice Dimmock isn’t easily fooled. Wednesday 9 May Healthy outlook: Fearnley-Whittingstall with volunteer Janet Credit: BBC Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall BBC One, 9.00pm; Scotland, 10.45pm He tried to get Newcastle exercising together and demonstrated to the unconvinced in Bristol just how much sugar there is in a smoothie, now, in this final episode, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall faces his toughest test of all – he heading to the Tory Party Conference to speak about obesity and attempting to get an audience with Health Minister Jeremy Hunt. But can he convince the ministers – and the hard-to-pin-down Hunt – that they need to do more to combat both national awareness of what we eat and the country’s fitness levels? First, he checks in with some of those who have signed up for the Newcastle Can scheme; heads out for a surfing lesson with Janet, a willing but struggling participant; trials a weight-loss experiment at the GP’s surgery and looks at the way in which marketing affects our understanding of food. Whether or not he manages to replicate the impact that Jamie Oliver had on the government during his school dinners campaign remains to be seen, but this impassioned series will surely have convinced the UK’s couch potatoes that it’s time to embrace the sunnier weather and start walking. Sarah Hughes DanceWorks: Choreographing History BBC Four, 7.30pm “With contemporary dance we don’t inherit ready-made stories, so we have to make up our own,” says choreographer Shobana Jeyasingh in this fascinating film. Jeyasingh’s latest work, Contagion, takes the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic as its subject, and this documentary follows her as she translates her research into a haunting, beautiful piece of work. The Secret Life of the Zoo Channel 4, 8.00pm The fallout from orangutan Emma’s pregnancy continues this week as the new mother pushes away the older child to raise the baby, leaving the zoo staff increasingly worried as to how the abandoned youth will cope. Mystery of the Lost Paintings Sky Arts, 8.00pm This episode examines the 1958 fire at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, which destroyed two of Monet’s famous Water Lily paintings, before attempting to digitally reconstruct one of the damaged works. Love in the Countryside BBC Two, 9.00pm Everything moves up a gear as lovelorn dairy farmers Pete and Ed invite their three prospective partners over for a weekend. Cue early issues as fiftysomethings Helen and Caroline struggle in the face of thirtysomething Frannie’s more obvious assets. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm It’s an emotional finale at the Birmingham Women’s Hospital as we meet Lauren and Rachel, who are preparing for a second child, and Urwah and Nadhia, who are about to meet their fifth. Meanwhile, Laura and Paul, friends turned lovers, have nine kids between them and another on the way. Harry & Meghan: A Love Story Sky One, 9.00pm Bafta-winning film-maker Toby Sculthorp turns his eye to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, talking to close friends and former head of the British Army, Richard Dannatt. SH Tortured By Mum and Dad: The Turpin 13 Channel 5, 10.00pm When 13 children were discovered shackled and starved by their parents, David and Louise Turpin earlier this year, it made global headlines. This documentary returns to the case, asking how the pair managed to hide their terrible secret for so long. A Walk in the Woods (2015) ★★☆☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Robert Redford turns Bill Bryson’s elegant travelogue about his middle-aged attempt on the Appalachian Trail – a 2,000-mile trek through the eastern United States – into a sloppy sitcom. The great American outdoors, however, are shot in picturesque fashion. Nick Nolte and Emma Thompson star as Bryson’s travelling partners, who at least reveal that the human condition is no walk in the park. Scream (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 10.00pm Wes Craven rebooted the teenage-horror genre with Scream. It’s gory, but clever and funny, too, particularly in its own self-awareness: the characters talk constantly about being in a slasher movie. And Craven wrong-foots us with a terrific opening sequence that gleefully breaks the rules of film-making. Courteney Cox and Neve Campbell star. The sequel Scream 2 is on Friday at 11.00pm. I Love You, Man (2009) ★★★★☆ 5STAR, 11.00pm Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. Thursday 10 May Michael C Hall (centre) in Safe Credit: Netflix Safe Netflix, from today For the man who played serial-killing forensics expert Dexter and funeral director David in Six Feet Under, it’s fitting that we first encounter Michael C Hall’s latest deeply flawed antihero, Tom Delaney, by his wife’s grave in this opening set-piece of his new drama. This UK-set eight-parter then skips forward six years, with Tom (Hall’s English accent is pretty passable) managing two teenage daughters, his work as a paediatric surgeon and life in a “safe” gated community. What becomes rapidly clear is that his neighbours are also nursing guilty secrets and haunted by past failures: from best mate Marc Warren and Amanda Abbingdon’s dogged detective to Nigel Lindsay’s jovial life-and-soul type. Then Tom’s oldest daughter goes missing during a house party, and skeletons tumble out of closets in an enjoyably twist-riddled affair. The first collaboration between Safe’s co-creators, bestselling novelist Harlan Coben and screenwriter Danny Brocklehurst (Accused; Ordinary Lies; Come Home), marries the former’s love of a cliffhanger and skill with fast-paced narrative with the latter’s facility for character and emotional insight. Gabriel Tate PGA Tour Golf: The Players Championship Sky Sports the Players, 12.30pm It’s day one of the tournament widely regarded as the unofficial fifth Major, held at TPC Sawgrass in Florida. Last year, Kim Si-Woo, at 21, became the youngest champion in Players history and it was much deserved: his was a nerveless display that belied his young age. Danceworks: Prejudice and Passion BBC Four, 7.30pm Choreographer Carlos Pons Guerra invites the cameras into his latest production for children at the Birmingham Rep, a work challenging assumptions of gender and identity with its story of two male penguins raising a chick together. Premier League Football: West Ham United v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm Looking to secure their safety, relegation-threatened West Ham United welcome Manchester United to the Olympic Stadium. The Hammers will need to banish the memories of their last match against Man United, when Anthony Martial, Paul Pogba and a brace from Romelu Lukaku gave Jose Mourinho’s side a 4-0 win. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm Rylan Clark-Neal and Scott Mills are joined by British Eurovision hopeful SuRie to introduce coverage of the second semi-final from Lisbon, with 10 of the 18 featured acts making it to Saturday’s final. Food Unwrapped: China Special Channel 4, 8.00pm Jimmy Doherty and his team explore artisanal and commercial methods of production for garlic, noodles, soy sauce and fortune cookies. Red Ape: Saving the Orangutan BBC Two, 9.00pm This alarming and frequently harrowing documentary makes direct connections between Borneo’s plummeting orangutan population, the boom in illegal animal trading and rocketing global demand for palm oil, but there are glimmers of hope, due to the ceaseless diligence of local activists. Urban Myths: David Bowie and Marc Bolan Sky Arts, 9.00pm Luke Treadaway and Jack Whitehall star as the teenage David Bowie and Marc Bolan in this by turns silly and oddly poignant comedy of two icons bonding, bickering and dreaming of stardom while earning a crust decorating their manager’s office. GT Riot Girls Channel 4, 10.00pm A gleefully ribald new prank show from the supremely talented and smart quartet of Grace Campbell, Jen Wakefield, Cam Spence and Sophie Duker, using stunts to highlight the casual sexism and gender inequality in society from manspreading on the tube to contraception. It’s as crude as it is funny and effective. Great Art ITV, 10.45pm; not STV Tim Marlow’s admirably unadorned visual arts series returns to profile a man not unscrutinised over the years, but if this pen portrait fails to add much new to the David Hockney story, it’s an efficient and entertaining primer, focusing on his Royal Academy landscape and portraiture exhibitions of 2012 and 2016. GT The Bourne Supremacy (2004) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Continuing the story of Jason Bourne, this sequel sees the former assassin (Matt Damon) living in Goa with his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente) when a Russian assassin arrives to plunge him back into the deep end of a CIA conspiracy. While this is not quite on a par with the first film, Paul Greengrass’s direction is typically exhilarating, and Joan Allen and Brian Cox lend excellent support. Cocktail (1988) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 11.10pm Tom Cruise plays a tequila-tossing barman in this romantic drama which cashed in on his heart-throb image. After leaving the army, Brian (Cruise) gets a job working in a Manhattan bar. His Martini mentor is Doug (Bryan Brown), who soon teaches him the tricks of the trade, but when the pair fall out over a girl, Brian heads for the Caribbean. It’s a bland concoction but strangely agreeable. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) ★★★★☆ Film4, 11.15pm This startling debut by Marielle Heller shows the funny side of a teenager’s explorations into her sexuality as a 15-year-old wannabe cartoonist Minnie (Bel Powley) seduces her mother’s 35-year-old boyfriend Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård). Heller’s nimble direction and clever script ensure that the film never paints either Minnie or Monroe entirely as victim or predator. Friday 11 May Thure Lindhardt and Sofia Helin in The Bridge Credit: BBC The Bridge BBC Two, 9.00pm With the exception perhaps of Wallander, of all the Scandi-noir characters that we’ve seen in recent years it is The Bridge’s Saga Norén (Sofia Helin), a committed Malmö detective with a level of social dysfunction that implies autism, who has burrowed deepest into the hearts of UK viewers. She struggles to cope emotionally with the world around her, but that only makes us like her all the more. When last we saw Saga, at the close of series three two years ago, she had solved another major murder case but stood accused herself of killing her abusive mother. At least she had the consolation of meeting a soulmate of sorts in Henrik Sabroe (Thure Lindhardt), a police colleague from across the Øresund bridge linking Sweden and Denmark, and a man deeply damaged by the murder of his wife and the disappearance of his two young daughters. At the start of this instantly gripping fourth and final series, things are not looking good for Saga as she wakes up in a cold, grey, unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile, Henrik is called to the scene of a particularly grizzly murder in Copenhagen that has a link to the controversial deportation of an Iranian illegal immigrant. Gerard O’Donovan Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist Netflix, from today A bank raid gone wrong, a horrific bomb-collar murder, a cat and mouse hunt by the FBI to track down a former beauty queen turned self-styled criminal. This anticipated documentary picks apart the bizarre story of the so-called “pizza bomber heist” that gripped the city of Erie, Pennsylvania, in 2003. Fifteen years later, the discovery of new evidence suggests that the story could be even more strange. The One Show: NHS Patients Awards Special BBC One, 7.00pm A special edition marking the 70th anniversary of the NHS and celebrating the work of doctors, nurses and medical staff who deliver outstanding care – as nominated by viewers and the Patients Association. Matt Baker and Alex Jones present. BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm Violinist Nicola Benedetti and trumpeter Alison Balsom join presenter Josie D’Arby for the competition’s semi-final, in which five individual category winners – including percussionist Matthew Brett, cellist Maxim Calver and saxophonist Robert Burton – compete for a place in the final. The judges include conductor Jessica Cottis and composer Kerry Andrew. GO Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Krishnan Guru-Murthy reports from the popular tourist resorts of the Dominican Republic, where a UN investigation has uncovered shocking crimes against young people at the hands of sex tourists. Britain’s Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson Channel 5, 8.00pm In the final programme of his excellent series, Tony Robinson recounts the tangled – and entertaining – history of Winchester Cathedral, whose bishops were once among the richest, most influential and worst behaved in Britain – and where one of England’s greatest novelists, Jane Austen, is buried. Portillo’s Hidden History of Britain Channel 5, 9.00pm Bringing his foray to a close, former defence secretary Michael Portillo visits the village of Imber on the Salisbury Plain, which was taken over by the Army in 1943 for use as a wartime training ground and, despite promises to the contrary, still remains in the hands of the military. GO Test Cricket: Ireland v Pakistan Sky Sports Main Event, 11.50pm A historic occasion, this, as Ireland play their first-ever Test match, with Pakistan as the opposition at Malahide Cricket Club. Over the next few years, Ireland will have 60-65 home internationals, including 15 Test matches. Uncapped batsman Imam-ul-Haq, the nephew of former skipper Inzamam, has been named in Pakistan’s squad. Northern Soul (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 11.15pm The nostalgia is potent in this chronicle of the popular northern soul dance halls in the Seventies. The soundtrack is as evocative and wonderful as you might expect, and the drama offers a charming slice of social and cultural Lancashire history. It’s just a shame that the storyline has to follow the same innocent young man led astray/conflict-resolution story arc of nearly every coming-of-age film out there. Buried (2010) ★★★☆☆ BBC One, 11.55pm; N Ireland, 12.25am Ryan Reynolds plays an American truck driver ambushed in Iraq and buried by insurgents in a coffin, with only a phone and a Zippo lighter at his disposal. One might assume the dramatic opportunities for a man in this predicament are finite, but Chris Sparling’s inventive screenplay and Rodrigo Cortés’ direction open up the story beyond the confines of the space in which Reynolds is trapped. The Crying Game (1992) ★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.05am Neil Jordan’s tremendous psychological thriller, set against the backdrop of the Irish Troubles, still contains one of the great cinematic twists. Stephen Rea stars as Provisional IRA volunteer Fergus, who helps to kidnap a British soldier (US actor Forest Whitaker) in order to secure the release of jailed IRA members. However, things go wrong when Fergus begins to form a bond with his prisoner. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
Rugby Union - France v Ireland - RBS Six Nations Championship 2016 - Stade de France, St Denis, France - 13/2/16 Irelands Andrew Trimble looks dejected Action Images via Reuters / Andrew Boyers Livepic EDITORIAL USE ONLY.
France v Ireland - RBS Six Nations Championship 2016
Rugby Union - France v Ireland - RBS Six Nations Championship 2016 - Stade de France, St Denis, France - 13/2/16 Irelands Andrew Trimble looks dejected Action Images via Reuters / Andrew Boyers Livepic EDITORIAL USE ONLY.
Thursday 3 May Prince Harry’s Story: Four Royal Weddings ITV, 9.00pm The weddings are those of Charles and Lady Diana Spencer, the Prince of Wales and Camilla, William and Kate and now the Prince’s own. And we know what comes after next… the funeral, of his mother, Diana, Princess of Wales. With just over a fortnight to go before Prince Harry and Meghan Markle tie the knot, this documentary looks back over the prince’s life (all 33 years of it) as a royal, charting the journey from a childhood marked by grief, through his active service as a soldier in Afghanistan and later charity work, to what we must hope will be the happiest day of his life, his wedding day, Saturday 19 May. Explored through the usual selection of archive footage, news reports and commentary, the documentary stands out because of its contributors, the net being cast rather wider than usual. So we get to hear from people such as Steve Hoare, guitarist in a band that played at the pub near Highgrove where young Harry enjoyed drinking, as well as singer Geri Horner, Olympian Dame Kelly Holmes, former Royal chef Carolyn Robb and many others. All of these faces help build a picture of how, and why, this prince is regarded with such particular affection. GO Britain’s Best Home Cook BBC One, 8.00pm Here is yet another attempt by the BBC to reproduce the lost magic of The Great British Bake Off. Here Mary Berry is joined by Strictly co-host Claudia Winkleman, chef Dan Doherty and produce expert Chris Bavin for an eight-week live-in contest in which 10 amateur cooks vie for the title of Britain’s best. GO Ambulance BBC One, 9.00pm A machete attack and two shootings keep the West Midlands ambulance service’s specialist trauma team busy on an eventful weekend night shift, while another crew answers a call from a victim of domestic abuse. GO Syria: The World’s War BBC Two, 9.00pm How could peaceful protest spiral into such unspeakable savagery – half a million people killed, millions of lives shattered and so much of Syria in ruins? That’s the question at the heart of Lyse Doucet’s deeply disturbing two-part documentary about the terrible conflict in Syria and the roles other states have played in perpetuating it. Concludes tomorrow. GO Election 2018 BBC One, 11.45pm; NI, 12.15am As the results from English local council elections roll in, Huw Edwards, Laura Kuenssberg and a panel of politicians and pundits discuss the impact on key districts and boroughs. GO Urban Myths: Alice Cooper and Salvador Dali Sky Arts, 9.00pm In probably the best episode of the current run, comedian Noel Fielding plays US rocker Alice Cooper while David Suchet is surrealist artist Salvador Dali in an entertainingly reimagined account of the pair’s bizarre four-day collaboration in New York in 1973 to produce in one of the world’s first holograms. Bonuses include Paul Kaye’s performance as Cooper’s legendary manager, Shep Gordon, and an original score by Richard Hawley and Jarvis Cocker. GO Barry Sky Atlantic, 10.45pm Very few new TV series ever receive such near-universal praise as Bill Hader’s entertaining comedy about a hitman who finds himself badly bitten by the acting bug while out on a job. In this second episode, hitman Barry (Hader) is forced to confront a bitter truth about his day job when acting coach Gene (Henry Winkler) encourages the class to channel their feelings into their work. GO Control (2007) ★★★★☆ AMC, 9.00pm Released one day short of the 27th anniversary of Ian Curtis’s suicide, Anton Corbijn’s homage to the troubled Joy Division frontman is superbly researched and exquisitely executed in black and white. Starring Sam Riley (his first time in a lead role) and Samantha Morton, the film charts Curtis’s rise to fame, his battle with epilepsy, and his eventual demise. It’s a beautiful, but extremely sad tale. For Your Eyes Only (1981) ★★★☆☆ ITV4, 9.00pm In Roger Moore’s fifth Bond film, 007 is sent to recover a communication device which was lost at sea when a British spy ship sank in the Ionian. The transmitter can order attacks from Britain’s submarine missiles, so Bond must reach it before the Soviets do, but he’s distracted by Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet), whose parents were murdered by the KGB. The plot is thin, but the film is rescued somewhat by high-quality stunts. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 9.00pm The first novel in Stieg Larsson’s popular crime series gets the Hollywood treatment via the trusty hands of Fight Club director David Fincher. Rooney Mara is excellent as the tormented computer hacker brought in to help writer Mikael (Daniel Craig) research a book on the wealthy Vanger family, but the flimsiness of Larsson’s whodunit awkwardly shines through. Friday 4 May Friday Night Dinner Channel 4, 10.00pm Simon Bird, Tom Rosenthal, Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig Credit: Mark Johnson/Channel 4 Friday Night Dinner is a one of those sitcoms that you either love or loathe, depending on your appreciation of slapstick and smutty jokes. Whichever camp you are in, the comedy has made it to a fifth series. And for those who do love it, this opening episode sees brothers Adam and Jonny (Simon Bird and Tom Rosenthal) turn up for their standard Friday night dinner, only to discover their parents Martin and Jackie (Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig) enjoying their new hot tub (because it is apparently still the Seventies) and planning Chinese takeaway. That all changes, however, once their hapless neighbour Jim (Mark Heap) decides to leave his dog with them because of he has a hot date. Cue lots of “jokes” about internet food, furtive sex and whether going to the takeaway down the road is “very 1930s”. The excellent cast all do their best – Rosenthal is particularly good at drily delivering the put-downs – but creator Robert Popper’s farce-heavy script requires them to do far too much heavy lifting. By the time Jim appears at the door with dirt-streaked hands and a compulsively giggling lady friend, you may find yourself silently weeping at the clunky agony of it all. SH Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Rania Abouzeid reports from Kabul, where kidnappings are a daily occurrence. Here, Abouzeid explores two cases – one involving a teenager who has been held for nine months – and discovers that there are no easy answers. This is a bleak but important piece of reporting. SH Home from Home BBC One, 9.30pm The ghost of Ever Decreasing Circles continues to haunt this amiable sitcom, although it lacks the dark edge of the Richard Briers hit. Here, a fed-up Neil (Johnny Vegas) throws a party, much to his snobby neighbour Robert’s (Adam James) delight. SH Episodes BBC Two, 10.00pm; Wales, 11.05pm The final series of the acerbic satire of Hollywood has been an absolute delight. And that continues with this episode as Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Bev (Tamsin Greig) discover just how far Matt (Matt LeBlanc) is prepared to go in order to get a co-creator credit. SH High & Dry Channel 4, 10.30pm Marc Wootton’s comedy about a group of plane crash survivors initially seems behind the times given that Lost ended eight years ago. However, stick with it because Wootton is in fine comedy monster mode as air steward Brett. Plus, the whole thing perks up once Vicky Pepperdine arrives as indomitable survivor Harriet. SH Too Fat for Love BBC Three, from 10.00am There’s a touch of the Carrie Bradshaw’s about this film in which vlogger Emma B asks the question: are we [the plus-sized community] too fat for love? To answer that, Emma talks to other plus-sized women, tries out life modelling and attends a sex tips class. The result is an entertaining film that is particularly astute about the way in which society portrays larger people. SH The Jazz Ambassadors BBC Four, 9.00pm This intriguing documentary tells the story of how congressman Adam Clayton Powell Jr convinced President Eisenhower to use jazz artists as cultural ambassadors, sending them on global tours to tackle Soviet propaganda. As the tours progressed, the musicians, including Louis Armstrong, found themselves increasingly conflicted: how could they promote America as the Land of the Free when the US’s Jim Crow segregation laws made them second-class citizens back home? SH Dunkirk (2017) ★★★★★ Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm Director Christopher Nolan (who, bafflingly, is still yet to win an Oscar), takes a novel approach to the Dunkirk evacuation. Told through three separate perspectives, taking place in the air, the sea and on land, the film is a disorientating, dazzling, superbly crafted tribute to their bravery. Tom Hardy, Kenneth Branagh, Mark Rylance and Harry Styles are among the cast. Magic Mike (2012) ★★★★☆ E4, 9.00pm Steven Soderbergh made a surprise decision to tackle the world of male strippers in Tampa, Florida, and exceeded every expectation: it’s one of his most enjoyable movies. Channing Tatum, in a story based on his own pre-Hollywood career, is revelatory – and Soderbergh works similar wonders with young star Alex Pettyfer and the resurgent Matthew McConaughey as the club’s smooth-talking, cowboy-hat-wearing owner. Non-Stop (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Liam Neeson is the dolorous air marshal who spends most of this film bounding up and down the aisle of a hijacked plane with a time-bomb under his arm in a plot so absurd that you can’t help but smile. Every passenger is a suspect, even Julianne Moore’s sweet heart-surgery patient. But Neeson wears the action-hero mantle so comfortably nowadays that you’ll become engrossed. Saturday 5 May Is that your final answer? Jeremy Clarkson takes over as host Credit: ITV Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? ITV, 9.15pm Judith Keppel winning, the Coughing Major cheating, Chris Tarrant smirking – for a brief period at the turn of the century Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? was the hottest programme on TV. One episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers and the show went on to inspire a bestselling novel, Q&A, which in turn became Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s 2008 Oscar-winning film. In truth, the quiz series only left TV screens four years ago, but it’s the heady early years that ITV is clearly hoping to repeat with this new version to commemorate the 20th anniversaryof the programme. So, what can we expect? It will air every night this week, and there’s a new host, Jeremy Clarkson, who’s roaring in to replace Tarrant. The old lifeline favourites – Phone a Friend, Ask the Audience and 50/50 – remain in place, although ITV have confirmed that there will be a fourth – Ask the Host. Contestants will also be allowed to set their own safety net, traditionally £32,000, once they reach question five. But is it possible for this version to capture the public’s imagination in these days of peak TV? One thing is certain: Clarkson has just the right amount of cocky charm to make a go of it as host. Sarah Hughes Happy Tent Tales CBeebies iPlayer,from today The BBC’s preschool series of live-action folk tales continues with five traditional stories presented by Karina O’Malley. There’s Welsh fairy tale The Golden Harp, traditional Scottish fable The Eagle and the Wren, and a lovely take on one of Aesop’s best, The Fox and the Crow. Rugby Union: Army v Navy Sky Sports Arena, 2.45pm Twickenham is the setting as the two Armed Forces compete for the Babcock trophy. Women’s FA Cup Football: Arsenal Women v Chelsea Ladies BBC One, 5.10pm Arsenal Women take on Chelsea Ladies in the final of the FA Cup, which takes place at Wembley Stadium. Fourteen-time winners Arsenal overcame Everton Ladies 2-1 in their semi-final, while Chelsea defeated the holders Manchester City 2-0. This match is a repeat of the 2016 fixture, in which the Gunners emerged victorious 1-0, thanks to Danielle Carter’s early strike. Beatles Night Sky Arts, from 6.00pm Sky Arts celebrates all things Fab Four with films tracing The Beatles from their humble beginnings to the heady heights of becoming the most famous pop band in the world. First up is My Beatles Black Album with Charles Hazlewood, in which the composer creates a mix of solo tracks by members of the band. The Beatles: From Liverpool to San Francisco then charts the band from their days playing in the Cavern Club to their US success. That’s followed by Ben Lewis’s recent The Beatles, Hippies & Hells Angels which looks at the rise and fall of their multimedia arm Apple Corps. SH Britain’s Got Talent ITV, 8.00pm With two golden buzzer acts already through to the live semi-finals, the fourth round of auditions heats up as more hopefuls strive to impress Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm It’s time to uncover Britain’s “Most Regency” town – and if eager Georgette Heyer fans were about to shout Bath, you are wrong. The answer, it turns out, is Cheltenham. Alice Roberts learns about Regency etiquette and uncovers why the pigeon is so important to the spa town. Casualty BBC One, 9.15pm Fans of the long-running medical drama get a treat here as the magnificently icy consultant Connie Beauchamp (Amanda Mealing) returns to work and instantly begins to reassert her authority. Elsewhere, doctor Ethan (George Rainsford) gets a shock when he visits the spot where his brother was murdered. The Great Rameses: New Evidence Revealed Channel 5, 10.10pm Channel 5’s latest series is a pretty straightforward but interesting-enough trawl through Ancient Egyptian history. The series begins with the story of Rameses II, who defeated the Hittites and was subsequently declared a living god by his people. SH Casablanca (1942, b/w) ★★★★★ ITV3, 3.00pm Humphrey Bogart’s Rick runs the American Bar in the eponymous Moroccan city, while Ingrid Bergman is the old flame who forces him to choose between his own heart and the fight against Nazism. Seventy six years on, Michael Curtiz’s Oscar-winning romantic drama is still a film to make the spirit soar; its finely drawn characters, quotable dialogue and haunting music have become iconic. Kajaki (2014) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 10.00pm; N Ireland, 11.00pm This tense film from Paul Katis tells the true story of British soldiers trapped in a mine-laden riverbed in Afghanistan. It not only convinces with its gory effects, but also with the agony each mine inflicts, and the delirium added when each man doses up with morphine: the acting from a uniformly strong ensemble cast, including Game of Thrones’s Mark Stanley, puts you right there. Sex and the City 2 (2010) ★★☆☆☆ ITV, 10.35pm SatC stalwarts will want a bite of this second film from the Big Apple franchise, but New York City is no more as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and friends head to Abu Dhabi. The fashion is outrageous, there’s a gay wedding with a swan, and Liza Minnelli does Beyoncé, but the whole thing is culturally insensitive and the women morph into cartoon characters. Turn off your brain and enjoy spending time with these old friends. Sunday 6 May Benoit Blin, Tom Allen, Liam Charles and Cherish Finden. Credit: Channel 4 Bake Off: The Professionals Channel 4, 8.00pm Completing the trifecta of Great British Bake Off shows that have switched from the BBC to Channel 4 is this competition for professional pâtissiers, formerly called Crème de la Crème. The six-part contest has wisely retained judges Benoit Blin and Cherish Finden, and hired new hosts in comedian Tom Allen and newcomer Liam Charles, who appeared in last year’s Bake Off. The format sees 12 teams of two pastry chefs compete in confectionery wars, beginning with the first half dozen. They’re tasked with making 24 tartes aux fruits and 24 tartes conversations [a sort of French Bakewell tart] followed by a show-stopping edible structure based on a Black Forest gâteau. The tension spikes as temperatures rise inside Firle Place in East Sussex, where it’s filmed – sweltering heat leads to high drama when contestants’ chocolate sculptures look in danger of toppling over. The appeal of the contest is in the staggering quality of the complicated pastries and edible works of art that the chefs turn out, which understandably knock the offerings of Bake Off’s amateurs into a cocked hat. And judges Blin and Finden are as theatrical as they are hard to please. This results in a scrumptious hour of food fetishism. Vicki Power Premier League Football: Chelsea v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 3.30pm Having won their last four games, Chelsea go into this match against third-placed Liverpool in good form. The Blues’ defence will have to be at its best, though: in Mohamed Salah, Liverpool have the most dangerous attacker in the league, and he’ll relish the opportunity to score against the club that sold him to Roma in 2016. When these sides met at Anfield, an 85th-minute goal from Willian ensured Chelsea salvaged a 1-1 draw. The Big Painting Challenge BBC One, 6.00pm It’s the final of this uplifting painting contest for amateurs, and the quartet of finalists relocate to Chatham Dockyards, where they must paint self-portraits. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm The arrival of the circus to Corfu provides the magic to bring Louisa (Keeley Hawes) and the recently separated Spiro (Alexis Georgoulis) ever closer in an emotional final episode of this beguiling drama. In fact, all of the Durrells have relationship upheavals, teeing up the action nicely for a fourth series. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Wilkie Collins’s Gothic thriller continues to compel in this fresh adaptation. In the penultimate episode, the women continue to suffer – clued-up Marian (Jessie Buckley) still has fever, rendering her unable to save her clueless half-sister Laura (Olivia Vinall) from the big twist we all know is coming. Ballet’s Dark Knight: Sir Kenneth MacMillan BBC Four, 9.00pm Darcey Bussell and Monica Mason are among the ballet stars who pay tribute to the choreographer Kenneth MacMillan in this excellent new biopic. Bussell, who worked with him at the age of 19, recalls how hard he pushed his dancers: “Nothing was ever good enough.” With contributions from MacMillan’s widow, Australian artist Deborah Williams, the documentary celebrates how the former artistic director of the Royal Ballet transformed ballet from polite pirouetting to a gritty, sexy art form. Michael Clark’s To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song BBC Four, 10.00pm Filmed at the Barbican in 2017, maverick choreographer Michael Clark’s acclaimed To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song is a mesmerising three-act piece in which he pays tribute to his greatest influences: punk music, Erik Satie and David Bowie. It is introduced here by Jarvis Cocker. VP Walter Presents: Tabula Rasa Channel 4, 10.15pm Belgium gives the Nordic lands a run for their money with another top-notch TV thriller. This nine-parter follows Mie D’Haeze (Veerle Baetens), an amnesiac psychiatric patient who finds she’s been implicated in a missing persons case. Her disturbed mind makes sorting the truth from fantasy virtually impossible. VP Megamind (2010) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 2.30pm DreamWorks’ fun tale of a Mekon-like, inept baddie is weird and witty. Directed by Tom McGrath, who was behind Madagascar, Will Ferrell leads voice duties, with funny turns from David Cross as his deputy, Minion, and Brad Pitt as his vain, buff, Aryan nemesis, the perpetually victorious Metro Man. An amusing quirk of Megamind’s is his affected pronunciation – he pronounces Metro City to rhyme with atrocity. The Boxtrolls (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 2.50pm There’s a cheerfully grotesque streak to this Oscar-winning stop-motion animation from the makers of Coraline and ParaNorman. In the town of Cheesebridge, a human boy raised by boxtrolls – trash-collecting creatures who live under the sewers wearing cardboard boxes – vows to save them from a villainous pest exterminator. It’s an endearing set-up and the carnival feel should please both adults and children. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 6.10pm The denouement to Peter Jackson’s grandiose adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s epic is the one that scooped an Oscar. Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) arrive at Mount Doom to destroy the Ring, both helped and hindered by the loathsome Gollum. Jackson’s only misjudgement is that the film meanders on for around half an hour after the real action is over. Bank Holiday Monday Peter Kay and Sian Gibson Credit: BBC Peter Kay’s Car Share Unscripted BBC One, 10.00pm The emergence of this improvised episode and the official climax to Peter Kay’s sitcom (airing next Bank Holiday Monday) is a treat for all sorts of reasons. Firstly, it would seem to allay concerns prompted by the comedian’s sudden cancellation of an extensive stand-up tour late last year. Secondly, it may offer closure to the many viewers left distraught by the cliffhanger ending to the second series, which saw straight-talking, outwardly stern John (Kay) fail to respond to the declaration of love proffered by co-worker and unsinkable romantic Kayleigh (Sian Gibson). And thirdly, it will mean one more hour in the company of these two beautifully drawn characters who felt like old friends from the moment they first appeared on our screens in 2015. This opening salvo sees Kay and Gibson ad-libbing in character, attempting to corpse each other with a ruthless lack of professionalism as John and Kayleigh drive home on their daily commute in John’s Fiat 500, their only company being the cheesy oldies radio station Forever FM. Don’t expect resolutions yet; instead, sit back and enjoy two fine performers rustling comic magic up out of thin air. Gabriel Tate The £100k Drop Channel 4, 4.00pm It has a new teatime slot and a 10th of the previous prize money, but Davina McCall is still in situ for this entertaining game show of general knowledge and playing the odds. Tenko True Entertainment, 6.00pm The classic BBC drama set in a Japanese POW camp for British, Dutch and Australian women interned after the fall of Singapore in 1942 is being aired every weeknight at 6.00pm. It’s unflinching in its explorations of friendship, sexuality and the degradations of war. Danceworks: The Dying Swan BBC Four, 7.30pm Beginning four consecutive nights of films exploring the world of British dance today, former Royal Ballet principal Zenaida Yanowsky explores the physical toll of her career as she attempts one final post-surgery comeback. Dispatches: Britain’s Benefits Crisis Channel 4, 7.30pm Morland Sanders investigates the Government’s roll-out of the Universal Credit scheme. It is ostensibly aimed at simplifying the benefits system but instead it is dogged by controversy, cuts to provisions and administrative glitches. ATP Masters Tennis: The Mutua Madrid Open Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm It’s the opening day of play in the clay-court tournament at the Caja Magica, where world number one and home favourite Rafael Nadal – in formidable form – is the event’s reigning champion. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Fiona Seres’s impressively sustained exploration of brutal, brittle masculinity and the stout resistance of their intended victims reaches a gripping climax as Lura (Olivia Vinall) and Marian (Jessie Buckley) strike back against the devious Fosco (Riccardo Scamarcio) and thuggish Sir Percival (Dougray Scott). The Road to Palmyra BBC Four, 9.00pm Ebullient historian Dan Cruickshank and wry photographer Don McCullin make an odd couple, yet their journey through a ravaged Syria casts new light on both the conflict as well as what the material and spiritual costs will be for future generations. GT Genderquake Channel 4, 9.00pm This gimmicky but occasionally enlightening TV experiment puts 11 strangers with different attitudes towards gender and sexuality in a house together for a week: prejudices are aired, preconceptions challenged and romances kindled. It concludes on Tuesday with further revelations and realisations, as well as a debate on the issues raised at 10.00pm. GT Forrest Gump (1994) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 9.00pm Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama is full of spirit – even if, at times, it’s slightly saccharine. Forrest (Tom Hanks) is a simpleton with a heart of gold, who, ever true to the homely advice of his mother (Sally Field) is reflecting on his improbable life as a Vietnam War hero, table-tennis champion and accidental millionaire. Hanks, depending on your sentimentality threshold, may prove to be adorable. Notting Hill (1999) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.20pm This is the second of Richard Curtis’s romcoms, after Four Weddings and a Funeral, about bumbling good eggs and frightfully pretty girls. Hugh Grant plays a London bookseller who attracts the attention of a film star (Julia Roberts) – it’s amusing, in particular when Grant’s character ineptly poses as a journalist from Horse & Hound magazine at a press junket for her sci-fi movie. Papillon (1973) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 11.00pm Based on the autobiography of petty criminal Henri Charrière – nicknamed Papillon because of his butterfly tattoo – this powerful prison drama is set in the infamous French penal colony Devil’s Island. Steve McQueen impressively stars as the title character, desperate to escape Devil’s Island’s gruesome brutality. Dustin Hoffman gives memorable support as his friend, the small-time fraudster Louis Dega. Tuesday 8 May Inspirational: Kate Humble with Emma and some alpacas Credit: BBC Back to the Land with Kate Humble BBC Two, 7.00pm There aren’t many TV shows that merit the word “inspirational” but Kate Humble’s series looking at the lives and work of entrepreneurial countryside pioneers around the UK does. Here she returns for another 12-part run, beginning by visiting four new start-ups in Cornwall which were prompted by a perceived gap in the market. Her clear favourites – she returns again and again to check on their progress – are free-diving seaweed harvesters Caro and Tim. This sustainability-aware pair were looking to work locally when they realised that, despite seaweed becoming more fashionable as a cooking ingredient, no one was harvesting the plentiful supply in the sea near them. Much hard work and ingenuity later, it’s an unlikely business idea that looks set to be a winner. Humble also meets a couple who reversed their farm’s declining fortunes by taking a leap of faith into free-range duck breeding, two best friends who supply native-flower bouquets to Cornwall’s booming high-end wedding market and a lavishly bearded brewer whose wild foraging in the local fields and hedgerows supplies the ingredients for his uniquely flavoured “wild” beers. Gerard O’Donovan Danceworks: Street to Stage BBC Four, 7.30pm Rising British star Dickson Mbi displays a range of talents in this film following him and his hip-hop popping team, Fiya House, competing in an international street dance competition. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm The Eurovision song contest circus kicks off tonight in Lisbon with the first semi-final featuring 19 countries (including Ireland) of the record-equalling 43 competing this year. UK fans have to wait for Saturday’s Grand Final to hear SuRie sing our entry, Storm. The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds Channel 4, 8.00pm The first in a two-part special exploring how children learn the difference between right and wrong, as another class of five-year-olds are challenged to decide if it’s OK to cheat and what to do when someone tells you a secret. Abandoned Engineering Yesterday, 8.00pm The series exploring mysterious abandoned buildings returns for a second series. This week, a vast labyrinth of crumbling tunnels, bunkers and towers in northern Poland, once a cutting-edge oil refinery, reveals its former role as a pivotal part of Hitler’s war machine. GO The Split BBC One, 9.00pm Abi Morgan’s legal drama hurries on apace with further revelations drawing us deeper into the lives of Hannah (Nicola Walker) and her dysfunctional family of lawyers. Tonight, things get heated in a case involving frozen embryos, and matriarch Ruth (Deborah Findlay) is evasive over finances. Later Live: with Jools Holland BBC Two, 10.00pm Returning for a 52nd series, Jools Holland welcomes more acts to play live in studio. Among them are Snow Patrol, Plan B, Bettye Lavette, and rising stars Shame and Jade Bird. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle: The Engagement Interview BBC One, 11.40pm; NI/Wales, 12.05am; Scot, 12.45am In case you won’t catch the endless clips in royal wedding-related programming over the next 10 days, here’s a repeat of the interview the couple gave Mishal Husain at Kensington Palace last year on the day they announced their engagement. GO My Cousin Rachel (2017) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 2.30pm and 11.30pm “Did she? Didn’t she?” ponders stricken hero Philip Ashley about the titular character and the possible murder of her husband/his cousin. This is based on Daphne du Maurier’s 1951 novel, but there was also a film version in 1952, an Eighties BBC version, on radio, and on the stage. Young Philip, the heir to a fortune, is played in Roger Michell’s stylish but sexless adaptation by a rakish Sam Claflin. Hot Fuzz (2007) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s follow-up to the cult comedy-horror Shaun of the Dead (and the second chapter in the Cornetto Trilogy) reunites Pegg with Nick Frost in the story of two policemen who uncover a conspiracy in a Somerset village. Timothy Dalton is a sinister triumph as a millionaire baddy. Sharp, funny and with explosive action scenes, it’s a very British action-comedy that does everything it should. Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice? (1969) ★★★☆☆ Talking Pictures TV, 9.00pm This is the third in a trilogy of Robert Aldrich-produced films (following What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte). It also features two female leads – this time, an Arizona widow (Geraldine Page) hires housekeepers to con them out of their money before murdering them, but Ruth Gordon’s Alice Dimmock isn’t easily fooled. Wednesday 9 May Healthy outlook: Fearnley-Whittingstall with volunteer Janet Credit: BBC Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall BBC One, 9.00pm; Scotland, 10.45pm He tried to get Newcastle exercising together and demonstrated to the unconvinced in Bristol just how much sugar there is in a smoothie, now, in this final episode, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall faces his toughest test of all – he heading to the Tory Party Conference to speak about obesity and attempting to get an audience with Health Minister Jeremy Hunt. But can he convince the ministers – and the hard-to-pin-down Hunt – that they need to do more to combat both national awareness of what we eat and the country’s fitness levels? First, he checks in with some of those who have signed up for the Newcastle Can scheme; heads out for a surfing lesson with Janet, a willing but struggling participant; trials a weight-loss experiment at the GP’s surgery and looks at the way in which marketing affects our understanding of food. Whether or not he manages to replicate the impact that Jamie Oliver had on the government during his school dinners campaign remains to be seen, but this impassioned series will surely have convinced the UK’s couch potatoes that it’s time to embrace the sunnier weather and start walking. Sarah Hughes DanceWorks: Choreographing History BBC Four, 7.30pm “With contemporary dance we don’t inherit ready-made stories, so we have to make up our own,” says choreographer Shobana Jeyasingh in this fascinating film. Jeyasingh’s latest work, Contagion, takes the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic as its subject, and this documentary follows her as she translates her research into a haunting, beautiful piece of work. The Secret Life of the Zoo Channel 4, 8.00pm The fallout from orangutan Emma’s pregnancy continues this week as the new mother pushes away the older child to raise the baby, leaving the zoo staff increasingly worried as to how the abandoned youth will cope. Mystery of the Lost Paintings Sky Arts, 8.00pm This episode examines the 1958 fire at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, which destroyed two of Monet’s famous Water Lily paintings, before attempting to digitally reconstruct one of the damaged works. Love in the Countryside BBC Two, 9.00pm Everything moves up a gear as lovelorn dairy farmers Pete and Ed invite their three prospective partners over for a weekend. Cue early issues as fiftysomethings Helen and Caroline struggle in the face of thirtysomething Frannie’s more obvious assets. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm It’s an emotional finale at the Birmingham Women’s Hospital as we meet Lauren and Rachel, who are preparing for a second child, and Urwah and Nadhia, who are about to meet their fifth. Meanwhile, Laura and Paul, friends turned lovers, have nine kids between them and another on the way. Harry & Meghan: A Love Story Sky One, 9.00pm Bafta-winning film-maker Toby Sculthorp turns his eye to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, talking to close friends and former head of the British Army, Richard Dannatt. SH Tortured By Mum and Dad: The Turpin 13 Channel 5, 10.00pm When 13 children were discovered shackled and starved by their parents, David and Louise Turpin earlier this year, it made global headlines. This documentary returns to the case, asking how the pair managed to hide their terrible secret for so long. A Walk in the Woods (2015) ★★☆☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Robert Redford turns Bill Bryson’s elegant travelogue about his middle-aged attempt on the Appalachian Trail – a 2,000-mile trek through the eastern United States – into a sloppy sitcom. The great American outdoors, however, are shot in picturesque fashion. Nick Nolte and Emma Thompson star as Bryson’s travelling partners, who at least reveal that the human condition is no walk in the park. Scream (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 10.00pm Wes Craven rebooted the teenage-horror genre with Scream. It’s gory, but clever and funny, too, particularly in its own self-awareness: the characters talk constantly about being in a slasher movie. And Craven wrong-foots us with a terrific opening sequence that gleefully breaks the rules of film-making. Courteney Cox and Neve Campbell star. The sequel Scream 2 is on Friday at 11.00pm. I Love You, Man (2009) ★★★★☆ 5STAR, 11.00pm Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. Thursday 10 May Michael C Hall (centre) in Safe Credit: Netflix Safe Netflix, from today For the man who played serial-killing forensics expert Dexter and funeral director David in Six Feet Under, it’s fitting that we first encounter Michael C Hall’s latest deeply flawed antihero, Tom Delaney, by his wife’s grave in this opening set-piece of his new drama. This UK-set eight-parter then skips forward six years, with Tom (Hall’s English accent is pretty passable) managing two teenage daughters, his work as a paediatric surgeon and life in a “safe” gated community. What becomes rapidly clear is that his neighbours are also nursing guilty secrets and haunted by past failures: from best mate Marc Warren and Amanda Abbingdon’s dogged detective to Nigel Lindsay’s jovial life-and-soul type. Then Tom’s oldest daughter goes missing during a house party, and skeletons tumble out of closets in an enjoyably twist-riddled affair. The first collaboration between Safe’s co-creators, bestselling novelist Harlan Coben and screenwriter Danny Brocklehurst (Accused; Ordinary Lies; Come Home), marries the former’s love of a cliffhanger and skill with fast-paced narrative with the latter’s facility for character and emotional insight. Gabriel Tate PGA Tour Golf: The Players Championship Sky Sports the Players, 12.30pm It’s day one of the tournament widely regarded as the unofficial fifth Major, held at TPC Sawgrass in Florida. Last year, Kim Si-Woo, at 21, became the youngest champion in Players history and it was much deserved: his was a nerveless display that belied his young age. Danceworks: Prejudice and Passion BBC Four, 7.30pm Choreographer Carlos Pons Guerra invites the cameras into his latest production for children at the Birmingham Rep, a work challenging assumptions of gender and identity with its story of two male penguins raising a chick together. Premier League Football: West Ham United v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm Looking to secure their safety, relegation-threatened West Ham United welcome Manchester United to the Olympic Stadium. The Hammers will need to banish the memories of their last match against Man United, when Anthony Martial, Paul Pogba and a brace from Romelu Lukaku gave Jose Mourinho’s side a 4-0 win. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm Rylan Clark-Neal and Scott Mills are joined by British Eurovision hopeful SuRie to introduce coverage of the second semi-final from Lisbon, with 10 of the 18 featured acts making it to Saturday’s final. Food Unwrapped: China Special Channel 4, 8.00pm Jimmy Doherty and his team explore artisanal and commercial methods of production for garlic, noodles, soy sauce and fortune cookies. Red Ape: Saving the Orangutan BBC Two, 9.00pm This alarming and frequently harrowing documentary makes direct connections between Borneo’s plummeting orangutan population, the boom in illegal animal trading and rocketing global demand for palm oil, but there are glimmers of hope, due to the ceaseless diligence of local activists. Urban Myths: David Bowie and Marc Bolan Sky Arts, 9.00pm Luke Treadaway and Jack Whitehall star as the teenage David Bowie and Marc Bolan in this by turns silly and oddly poignant comedy of two icons bonding, bickering and dreaming of stardom while earning a crust decorating their manager’s office. GT Riot Girls Channel 4, 10.00pm A gleefully ribald new prank show from the supremely talented and smart quartet of Grace Campbell, Jen Wakefield, Cam Spence and Sophie Duker, using stunts to highlight the casual sexism and gender inequality in society from manspreading on the tube to contraception. It’s as crude as it is funny and effective. Great Art ITV, 10.45pm; not STV Tim Marlow’s admirably unadorned visual arts series returns to profile a man not unscrutinised over the years, but if this pen portrait fails to add much new to the David Hockney story, it’s an efficient and entertaining primer, focusing on his Royal Academy landscape and portraiture exhibitions of 2012 and 2016. GT The Bourne Supremacy (2004) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Continuing the story of Jason Bourne, this sequel sees the former assassin (Matt Damon) living in Goa with his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente) when a Russian assassin arrives to plunge him back into the deep end of a CIA conspiracy. While this is not quite on a par with the first film, Paul Greengrass’s direction is typically exhilarating, and Joan Allen and Brian Cox lend excellent support. Cocktail (1988) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 11.10pm Tom Cruise plays a tequila-tossing barman in this romantic drama which cashed in on his heart-throb image. After leaving the army, Brian (Cruise) gets a job working in a Manhattan bar. His Martini mentor is Doug (Bryan Brown), who soon teaches him the tricks of the trade, but when the pair fall out over a girl, Brian heads for the Caribbean. It’s a bland concoction but strangely agreeable. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) ★★★★☆ Film4, 11.15pm This startling debut by Marielle Heller shows the funny side of a teenager’s explorations into her sexuality as a 15-year-old wannabe cartoonist Minnie (Bel Powley) seduces her mother’s 35-year-old boyfriend Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård). Heller’s nimble direction and clever script ensure that the film never paints either Minnie or Monroe entirely as victim or predator. Friday 11 May Thure Lindhardt and Sofia Helin in The Bridge Credit: BBC The Bridge BBC Two, 9.00pm With the exception perhaps of Wallander, of all the Scandi-noir characters that we’ve seen in recent years it is The Bridge’s Saga Norén (Sofia Helin), a committed Malmö detective with a level of social dysfunction that implies autism, who has burrowed deepest into the hearts of UK viewers. She struggles to cope emotionally with the world around her, but that only makes us like her all the more. When last we saw Saga, at the close of series three two years ago, she had solved another major murder case but stood accused herself of killing her abusive mother. At least she had the consolation of meeting a soulmate of sorts in Henrik Sabroe (Thure Lindhardt), a police colleague from across the Øresund bridge linking Sweden and Denmark, and a man deeply damaged by the murder of his wife and the disappearance of his two young daughters. At the start of this instantly gripping fourth and final series, things are not looking good for Saga as she wakes up in a cold, grey, unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile, Henrik is called to the scene of a particularly grizzly murder in Copenhagen that has a link to the controversial deportation of an Iranian illegal immigrant. Gerard O’Donovan Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist Netflix, from today A bank raid gone wrong, a horrific bomb-collar murder, a cat and mouse hunt by the FBI to track down a former beauty queen turned self-styled criminal. This anticipated documentary picks apart the bizarre story of the so-called “pizza bomber heist” that gripped the city of Erie, Pennsylvania, in 2003. Fifteen years later, the discovery of new evidence suggests that the story could be even more strange. The One Show: NHS Patients Awards Special BBC One, 7.00pm A special edition marking the 70th anniversary of the NHS and celebrating the work of doctors, nurses and medical staff who deliver outstanding care – as nominated by viewers and the Patients Association. Matt Baker and Alex Jones present. BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm Violinist Nicola Benedetti and trumpeter Alison Balsom join presenter Josie D’Arby for the competition’s semi-final, in which five individual category winners – including percussionist Matthew Brett, cellist Maxim Calver and saxophonist Robert Burton – compete for a place in the final. The judges include conductor Jessica Cottis and composer Kerry Andrew. GO Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Krishnan Guru-Murthy reports from the popular tourist resorts of the Dominican Republic, where a UN investigation has uncovered shocking crimes against young people at the hands of sex tourists. Britain’s Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson Channel 5, 8.00pm In the final programme of his excellent series, Tony Robinson recounts the tangled – and entertaining – history of Winchester Cathedral, whose bishops were once among the richest, most influential and worst behaved in Britain – and where one of England’s greatest novelists, Jane Austen, is buried. Portillo’s Hidden History of Britain Channel 5, 9.00pm Bringing his foray to a close, former defence secretary Michael Portillo visits the village of Imber on the Salisbury Plain, which was taken over by the Army in 1943 for use as a wartime training ground and, despite promises to the contrary, still remains in the hands of the military. GO Test Cricket: Ireland v Pakistan Sky Sports Main Event, 11.50pm A historic occasion, this, as Ireland play their first-ever Test match, with Pakistan as the opposition at Malahide Cricket Club. Over the next few years, Ireland will have 60-65 home internationals, including 15 Test matches. Uncapped batsman Imam-ul-Haq, the nephew of former skipper Inzamam, has been named in Pakistan’s squad. Northern Soul (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 11.15pm The nostalgia is potent in this chronicle of the popular northern soul dance halls in the Seventies. The soundtrack is as evocative and wonderful as you might expect, and the drama offers a charming slice of social and cultural Lancashire history. It’s just a shame that the storyline has to follow the same innocent young man led astray/conflict-resolution story arc of nearly every coming-of-age film out there. Buried (2010) ★★★☆☆ BBC One, 11.55pm; N Ireland, 12.25am Ryan Reynolds plays an American truck driver ambushed in Iraq and buried by insurgents in a coffin, with only a phone and a Zippo lighter at his disposal. One might assume the dramatic opportunities for a man in this predicament are finite, but Chris Sparling’s inventive screenplay and Rodrigo Cortés’ direction open up the story beyond the confines of the space in which Reynolds is trapped. The Crying Game (1992) ★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.05am Neil Jordan’s tremendous psychological thriller, set against the backdrop of the Irish Troubles, still contains one of the great cinematic twists. Stephen Rea stars as Provisional IRA volunteer Fergus, who helps to kidnap a British soldier (US actor Forest Whitaker) in order to secure the release of jailed IRA members. However, things go wrong when Fergus begins to form a bond with his prisoner. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
What's on TV tonight: Prince Harry’s Story: Four Royal Weddings, Britain’s Best Home Cook and more
Thursday 3 May Prince Harry’s Story: Four Royal Weddings ITV, 9.00pm The weddings are those of Charles and Lady Diana Spencer, the Prince of Wales and Camilla, William and Kate and now the Prince’s own. And we know what comes after next… the funeral, of his mother, Diana, Princess of Wales. With just over a fortnight to go before Prince Harry and Meghan Markle tie the knot, this documentary looks back over the prince’s life (all 33 years of it) as a royal, charting the journey from a childhood marked by grief, through his active service as a soldier in Afghanistan and later charity work, to what we must hope will be the happiest day of his life, his wedding day, Saturday 19 May. Explored through the usual selection of archive footage, news reports and commentary, the documentary stands out because of its contributors, the net being cast rather wider than usual. So we get to hear from people such as Steve Hoare, guitarist in a band that played at the pub near Highgrove where young Harry enjoyed drinking, as well as singer Geri Horner, Olympian Dame Kelly Holmes, former Royal chef Carolyn Robb and many others. All of these faces help build a picture of how, and why, this prince is regarded with such particular affection. GO Britain’s Best Home Cook BBC One, 8.00pm Here is yet another attempt by the BBC to reproduce the lost magic of The Great British Bake Off. Here Mary Berry is joined by Strictly co-host Claudia Winkleman, chef Dan Doherty and produce expert Chris Bavin for an eight-week live-in contest in which 10 amateur cooks vie for the title of Britain’s best. GO Ambulance BBC One, 9.00pm A machete attack and two shootings keep the West Midlands ambulance service’s specialist trauma team busy on an eventful weekend night shift, while another crew answers a call from a victim of domestic abuse. GO Syria: The World’s War BBC Two, 9.00pm How could peaceful protest spiral into such unspeakable savagery – half a million people killed, millions of lives shattered and so much of Syria in ruins? That’s the question at the heart of Lyse Doucet’s deeply disturbing two-part documentary about the terrible conflict in Syria and the roles other states have played in perpetuating it. Concludes tomorrow. GO Election 2018 BBC One, 11.45pm; NI, 12.15am As the results from English local council elections roll in, Huw Edwards, Laura Kuenssberg and a panel of politicians and pundits discuss the impact on key districts and boroughs. GO Urban Myths: Alice Cooper and Salvador Dali Sky Arts, 9.00pm In probably the best episode of the current run, comedian Noel Fielding plays US rocker Alice Cooper while David Suchet is surrealist artist Salvador Dali in an entertainingly reimagined account of the pair’s bizarre four-day collaboration in New York in 1973 to produce in one of the world’s first holograms. Bonuses include Paul Kaye’s performance as Cooper’s legendary manager, Shep Gordon, and an original score by Richard Hawley and Jarvis Cocker. GO Barry Sky Atlantic, 10.45pm Very few new TV series ever receive such near-universal praise as Bill Hader’s entertaining comedy about a hitman who finds himself badly bitten by the acting bug while out on a job. In this second episode, hitman Barry (Hader) is forced to confront a bitter truth about his day job when acting coach Gene (Henry Winkler) encourages the class to channel their feelings into their work. GO Control (2007) ★★★★☆ AMC, 9.00pm Released one day short of the 27th anniversary of Ian Curtis’s suicide, Anton Corbijn’s homage to the troubled Joy Division frontman is superbly researched and exquisitely executed in black and white. Starring Sam Riley (his first time in a lead role) and Samantha Morton, the film charts Curtis’s rise to fame, his battle with epilepsy, and his eventual demise. It’s a beautiful, but extremely sad tale. For Your Eyes Only (1981) ★★★☆☆ ITV4, 9.00pm In Roger Moore’s fifth Bond film, 007 is sent to recover a communication device which was lost at sea when a British spy ship sank in the Ionian. The transmitter can order attacks from Britain’s submarine missiles, so Bond must reach it before the Soviets do, but he’s distracted by Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet), whose parents were murdered by the KGB. The plot is thin, but the film is rescued somewhat by high-quality stunts. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 9.00pm The first novel in Stieg Larsson’s popular crime series gets the Hollywood treatment via the trusty hands of Fight Club director David Fincher. Rooney Mara is excellent as the tormented computer hacker brought in to help writer Mikael (Daniel Craig) research a book on the wealthy Vanger family, but the flimsiness of Larsson’s whodunit awkwardly shines through. Friday 4 May Friday Night Dinner Channel 4, 10.00pm Simon Bird, Tom Rosenthal, Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig Credit: Mark Johnson/Channel 4 Friday Night Dinner is a one of those sitcoms that you either love or loathe, depending on your appreciation of slapstick and smutty jokes. Whichever camp you are in, the comedy has made it to a fifth series. And for those who do love it, this opening episode sees brothers Adam and Jonny (Simon Bird and Tom Rosenthal) turn up for their standard Friday night dinner, only to discover their parents Martin and Jackie (Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig) enjoying their new hot tub (because it is apparently still the Seventies) and planning Chinese takeaway. That all changes, however, once their hapless neighbour Jim (Mark Heap) decides to leave his dog with them because of he has a hot date. Cue lots of “jokes” about internet food, furtive sex and whether going to the takeaway down the road is “very 1930s”. The excellent cast all do their best – Rosenthal is particularly good at drily delivering the put-downs – but creator Robert Popper’s farce-heavy script requires them to do far too much heavy lifting. By the time Jim appears at the door with dirt-streaked hands and a compulsively giggling lady friend, you may find yourself silently weeping at the clunky agony of it all. SH Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Rania Abouzeid reports from Kabul, where kidnappings are a daily occurrence. Here, Abouzeid explores two cases – one involving a teenager who has been held for nine months – and discovers that there are no easy answers. This is a bleak but important piece of reporting. SH Home from Home BBC One, 9.30pm The ghost of Ever Decreasing Circles continues to haunt this amiable sitcom, although it lacks the dark edge of the Richard Briers hit. Here, a fed-up Neil (Johnny Vegas) throws a party, much to his snobby neighbour Robert’s (Adam James) delight. SH Episodes BBC Two, 10.00pm; Wales, 11.05pm The final series of the acerbic satire of Hollywood has been an absolute delight. And that continues with this episode as Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Bev (Tamsin Greig) discover just how far Matt (Matt LeBlanc) is prepared to go in order to get a co-creator credit. SH High & Dry Channel 4, 10.30pm Marc Wootton’s comedy about a group of plane crash survivors initially seems behind the times given that Lost ended eight years ago. However, stick with it because Wootton is in fine comedy monster mode as air steward Brett. Plus, the whole thing perks up once Vicky Pepperdine arrives as indomitable survivor Harriet. SH Too Fat for Love BBC Three, from 10.00am There’s a touch of the Carrie Bradshaw’s about this film in which vlogger Emma B asks the question: are we [the plus-sized community] too fat for love? To answer that, Emma talks to other plus-sized women, tries out life modelling and attends a sex tips class. The result is an entertaining film that is particularly astute about the way in which society portrays larger people. SH The Jazz Ambassadors BBC Four, 9.00pm This intriguing documentary tells the story of how congressman Adam Clayton Powell Jr convinced President Eisenhower to use jazz artists as cultural ambassadors, sending them on global tours to tackle Soviet propaganda. As the tours progressed, the musicians, including Louis Armstrong, found themselves increasingly conflicted: how could they promote America as the Land of the Free when the US’s Jim Crow segregation laws made them second-class citizens back home? SH Dunkirk (2017) ★★★★★ Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm Director Christopher Nolan (who, bafflingly, is still yet to win an Oscar), takes a novel approach to the Dunkirk evacuation. Told through three separate perspectives, taking place in the air, the sea and on land, the film is a disorientating, dazzling, superbly crafted tribute to their bravery. Tom Hardy, Kenneth Branagh, Mark Rylance and Harry Styles are among the cast. Magic Mike (2012) ★★★★☆ E4, 9.00pm Steven Soderbergh made a surprise decision to tackle the world of male strippers in Tampa, Florida, and exceeded every expectation: it’s one of his most enjoyable movies. Channing Tatum, in a story based on his own pre-Hollywood career, is revelatory – and Soderbergh works similar wonders with young star Alex Pettyfer and the resurgent Matthew McConaughey as the club’s smooth-talking, cowboy-hat-wearing owner. Non-Stop (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Liam Neeson is the dolorous air marshal who spends most of this film bounding up and down the aisle of a hijacked plane with a time-bomb under his arm in a plot so absurd that you can’t help but smile. Every passenger is a suspect, even Julianne Moore’s sweet heart-surgery patient. But Neeson wears the action-hero mantle so comfortably nowadays that you’ll become engrossed. Saturday 5 May Is that your final answer? Jeremy Clarkson takes over as host Credit: ITV Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? ITV, 9.15pm Judith Keppel winning, the Coughing Major cheating, Chris Tarrant smirking – for a brief period at the turn of the century Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? was the hottest programme on TV. One episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers and the show went on to inspire a bestselling novel, Q&A, which in turn became Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s 2008 Oscar-winning film. In truth, the quiz series only left TV screens four years ago, but it’s the heady early years that ITV is clearly hoping to repeat with this new version to commemorate the 20th anniversaryof the programme. So, what can we expect? It will air every night this week, and there’s a new host, Jeremy Clarkson, who’s roaring in to replace Tarrant. The old lifeline favourites – Phone a Friend, Ask the Audience and 50/50 – remain in place, although ITV have confirmed that there will be a fourth – Ask the Host. Contestants will also be allowed to set their own safety net, traditionally £32,000, once they reach question five. But is it possible for this version to capture the public’s imagination in these days of peak TV? One thing is certain: Clarkson has just the right amount of cocky charm to make a go of it as host. Sarah Hughes Happy Tent Tales CBeebies iPlayer,from today The BBC’s preschool series of live-action folk tales continues with five traditional stories presented by Karina O’Malley. There’s Welsh fairy tale The Golden Harp, traditional Scottish fable The Eagle and the Wren, and a lovely take on one of Aesop’s best, The Fox and the Crow. Rugby Union: Army v Navy Sky Sports Arena, 2.45pm Twickenham is the setting as the two Armed Forces compete for the Babcock trophy. Women’s FA Cup Football: Arsenal Women v Chelsea Ladies BBC One, 5.10pm Arsenal Women take on Chelsea Ladies in the final of the FA Cup, which takes place at Wembley Stadium. Fourteen-time winners Arsenal overcame Everton Ladies 2-1 in their semi-final, while Chelsea defeated the holders Manchester City 2-0. This match is a repeat of the 2016 fixture, in which the Gunners emerged victorious 1-0, thanks to Danielle Carter’s early strike. Beatles Night Sky Arts, from 6.00pm Sky Arts celebrates all things Fab Four with films tracing The Beatles from their humble beginnings to the heady heights of becoming the most famous pop band in the world. First up is My Beatles Black Album with Charles Hazlewood, in which the composer creates a mix of solo tracks by members of the band. The Beatles: From Liverpool to San Francisco then charts the band from their days playing in the Cavern Club to their US success. That’s followed by Ben Lewis’s recent The Beatles, Hippies & Hells Angels which looks at the rise and fall of their multimedia arm Apple Corps. SH Britain’s Got Talent ITV, 8.00pm With two golden buzzer acts already through to the live semi-finals, the fourth round of auditions heats up as more hopefuls strive to impress Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm It’s time to uncover Britain’s “Most Regency” town – and if eager Georgette Heyer fans were about to shout Bath, you are wrong. The answer, it turns out, is Cheltenham. Alice Roberts learns about Regency etiquette and uncovers why the pigeon is so important to the spa town. Casualty BBC One, 9.15pm Fans of the long-running medical drama get a treat here as the magnificently icy consultant Connie Beauchamp (Amanda Mealing) returns to work and instantly begins to reassert her authority. Elsewhere, doctor Ethan (George Rainsford) gets a shock when he visits the spot where his brother was murdered. The Great Rameses: New Evidence Revealed Channel 5, 10.10pm Channel 5’s latest series is a pretty straightforward but interesting-enough trawl through Ancient Egyptian history. The series begins with the story of Rameses II, who defeated the Hittites and was subsequently declared a living god by his people. SH Casablanca (1942, b/w) ★★★★★ ITV3, 3.00pm Humphrey Bogart’s Rick runs the American Bar in the eponymous Moroccan city, while Ingrid Bergman is the old flame who forces him to choose between his own heart and the fight against Nazism. Seventy six years on, Michael Curtiz’s Oscar-winning romantic drama is still a film to make the spirit soar; its finely drawn characters, quotable dialogue and haunting music have become iconic. Kajaki (2014) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 10.00pm; N Ireland, 11.00pm This tense film from Paul Katis tells the true story of British soldiers trapped in a mine-laden riverbed in Afghanistan. It not only convinces with its gory effects, but also with the agony each mine inflicts, and the delirium added when each man doses up with morphine: the acting from a uniformly strong ensemble cast, including Game of Thrones’s Mark Stanley, puts you right there. Sex and the City 2 (2010) ★★☆☆☆ ITV, 10.35pm SatC stalwarts will want a bite of this second film from the Big Apple franchise, but New York City is no more as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and friends head to Abu Dhabi. The fashion is outrageous, there’s a gay wedding with a swan, and Liza Minnelli does Beyoncé, but the whole thing is culturally insensitive and the women morph into cartoon characters. Turn off your brain and enjoy spending time with these old friends. Sunday 6 May Benoit Blin, Tom Allen, Liam Charles and Cherish Finden. Credit: Channel 4 Bake Off: The Professionals Channel 4, 8.00pm Completing the trifecta of Great British Bake Off shows that have switched from the BBC to Channel 4 is this competition for professional pâtissiers, formerly called Crème de la Crème. The six-part contest has wisely retained judges Benoit Blin and Cherish Finden, and hired new hosts in comedian Tom Allen and newcomer Liam Charles, who appeared in last year’s Bake Off. The format sees 12 teams of two pastry chefs compete in confectionery wars, beginning with the first half dozen. They’re tasked with making 24 tartes aux fruits and 24 tartes conversations [a sort of French Bakewell tart] followed by a show-stopping edible structure based on a Black Forest gâteau. The tension spikes as temperatures rise inside Firle Place in East Sussex, where it’s filmed – sweltering heat leads to high drama when contestants’ chocolate sculptures look in danger of toppling over. The appeal of the contest is in the staggering quality of the complicated pastries and edible works of art that the chefs turn out, which understandably knock the offerings of Bake Off’s amateurs into a cocked hat. And judges Blin and Finden are as theatrical as they are hard to please. This results in a scrumptious hour of food fetishism. Vicki Power Premier League Football: Chelsea v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 3.30pm Having won their last four games, Chelsea go into this match against third-placed Liverpool in good form. The Blues’ defence will have to be at its best, though: in Mohamed Salah, Liverpool have the most dangerous attacker in the league, and he’ll relish the opportunity to score against the club that sold him to Roma in 2016. When these sides met at Anfield, an 85th-minute goal from Willian ensured Chelsea salvaged a 1-1 draw. The Big Painting Challenge BBC One, 6.00pm It’s the final of this uplifting painting contest for amateurs, and the quartet of finalists relocate to Chatham Dockyards, where they must paint self-portraits. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm The arrival of the circus to Corfu provides the magic to bring Louisa (Keeley Hawes) and the recently separated Spiro (Alexis Georgoulis) ever closer in an emotional final episode of this beguiling drama. In fact, all of the Durrells have relationship upheavals, teeing up the action nicely for a fourth series. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Wilkie Collins’s Gothic thriller continues to compel in this fresh adaptation. In the penultimate episode, the women continue to suffer – clued-up Marian (Jessie Buckley) still has fever, rendering her unable to save her clueless half-sister Laura (Olivia Vinall) from the big twist we all know is coming. Ballet’s Dark Knight: Sir Kenneth MacMillan BBC Four, 9.00pm Darcey Bussell and Monica Mason are among the ballet stars who pay tribute to the choreographer Kenneth MacMillan in this excellent new biopic. Bussell, who worked with him at the age of 19, recalls how hard he pushed his dancers: “Nothing was ever good enough.” With contributions from MacMillan’s widow, Australian artist Deborah Williams, the documentary celebrates how the former artistic director of the Royal Ballet transformed ballet from polite pirouetting to a gritty, sexy art form. Michael Clark’s To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song BBC Four, 10.00pm Filmed at the Barbican in 2017, maverick choreographer Michael Clark’s acclaimed To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song is a mesmerising three-act piece in which he pays tribute to his greatest influences: punk music, Erik Satie and David Bowie. It is introduced here by Jarvis Cocker. VP Walter Presents: Tabula Rasa Channel 4, 10.15pm Belgium gives the Nordic lands a run for their money with another top-notch TV thriller. This nine-parter follows Mie D’Haeze (Veerle Baetens), an amnesiac psychiatric patient who finds she’s been implicated in a missing persons case. Her disturbed mind makes sorting the truth from fantasy virtually impossible. VP Megamind (2010) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 2.30pm DreamWorks’ fun tale of a Mekon-like, inept baddie is weird and witty. Directed by Tom McGrath, who was behind Madagascar, Will Ferrell leads voice duties, with funny turns from David Cross as his deputy, Minion, and Brad Pitt as his vain, buff, Aryan nemesis, the perpetually victorious Metro Man. An amusing quirk of Megamind’s is his affected pronunciation – he pronounces Metro City to rhyme with atrocity. The Boxtrolls (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 2.50pm There’s a cheerfully grotesque streak to this Oscar-winning stop-motion animation from the makers of Coraline and ParaNorman. In the town of Cheesebridge, a human boy raised by boxtrolls – trash-collecting creatures who live under the sewers wearing cardboard boxes – vows to save them from a villainous pest exterminator. It’s an endearing set-up and the carnival feel should please both adults and children. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 6.10pm The denouement to Peter Jackson’s grandiose adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s epic is the one that scooped an Oscar. Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) arrive at Mount Doom to destroy the Ring, both helped and hindered by the loathsome Gollum. Jackson’s only misjudgement is that the film meanders on for around half an hour after the real action is over. Bank Holiday Monday Peter Kay and Sian Gibson Credit: BBC Peter Kay’s Car Share Unscripted BBC One, 10.00pm The emergence of this improvised episode and the official climax to Peter Kay’s sitcom (airing next Bank Holiday Monday) is a treat for all sorts of reasons. Firstly, it would seem to allay concerns prompted by the comedian’s sudden cancellation of an extensive stand-up tour late last year. Secondly, it may offer closure to the many viewers left distraught by the cliffhanger ending to the second series, which saw straight-talking, outwardly stern John (Kay) fail to respond to the declaration of love proffered by co-worker and unsinkable romantic Kayleigh (Sian Gibson). And thirdly, it will mean one more hour in the company of these two beautifully drawn characters who felt like old friends from the moment they first appeared on our screens in 2015. This opening salvo sees Kay and Gibson ad-libbing in character, attempting to corpse each other with a ruthless lack of professionalism as John and Kayleigh drive home on their daily commute in John’s Fiat 500, their only company being the cheesy oldies radio station Forever FM. Don’t expect resolutions yet; instead, sit back and enjoy two fine performers rustling comic magic up out of thin air. Gabriel Tate The £100k Drop Channel 4, 4.00pm It has a new teatime slot and a 10th of the previous prize money, but Davina McCall is still in situ for this entertaining game show of general knowledge and playing the odds. Tenko True Entertainment, 6.00pm The classic BBC drama set in a Japanese POW camp for British, Dutch and Australian women interned after the fall of Singapore in 1942 is being aired every weeknight at 6.00pm. It’s unflinching in its explorations of friendship, sexuality and the degradations of war. Danceworks: The Dying Swan BBC Four, 7.30pm Beginning four consecutive nights of films exploring the world of British dance today, former Royal Ballet principal Zenaida Yanowsky explores the physical toll of her career as she attempts one final post-surgery comeback. Dispatches: Britain’s Benefits Crisis Channel 4, 7.30pm Morland Sanders investigates the Government’s roll-out of the Universal Credit scheme. It is ostensibly aimed at simplifying the benefits system but instead it is dogged by controversy, cuts to provisions and administrative glitches. ATP Masters Tennis: The Mutua Madrid Open Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm It’s the opening day of play in the clay-court tournament at the Caja Magica, where world number one and home favourite Rafael Nadal – in formidable form – is the event’s reigning champion. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Fiona Seres’s impressively sustained exploration of brutal, brittle masculinity and the stout resistance of their intended victims reaches a gripping climax as Lura (Olivia Vinall) and Marian (Jessie Buckley) strike back against the devious Fosco (Riccardo Scamarcio) and thuggish Sir Percival (Dougray Scott). The Road to Palmyra BBC Four, 9.00pm Ebullient historian Dan Cruickshank and wry photographer Don McCullin make an odd couple, yet their journey through a ravaged Syria casts new light on both the conflict as well as what the material and spiritual costs will be for future generations. GT Genderquake Channel 4, 9.00pm This gimmicky but occasionally enlightening TV experiment puts 11 strangers with different attitudes towards gender and sexuality in a house together for a week: prejudices are aired, preconceptions challenged and romances kindled. It concludes on Tuesday with further revelations and realisations, as well as a debate on the issues raised at 10.00pm. GT Forrest Gump (1994) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 9.00pm Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama is full of spirit – even if, at times, it’s slightly saccharine. Forrest (Tom Hanks) is a simpleton with a heart of gold, who, ever true to the homely advice of his mother (Sally Field) is reflecting on his improbable life as a Vietnam War hero, table-tennis champion and accidental millionaire. Hanks, depending on your sentimentality threshold, may prove to be adorable. Notting Hill (1999) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.20pm This is the second of Richard Curtis’s romcoms, after Four Weddings and a Funeral, about bumbling good eggs and frightfully pretty girls. Hugh Grant plays a London bookseller who attracts the attention of a film star (Julia Roberts) – it’s amusing, in particular when Grant’s character ineptly poses as a journalist from Horse & Hound magazine at a press junket for her sci-fi movie. Papillon (1973) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 11.00pm Based on the autobiography of petty criminal Henri Charrière – nicknamed Papillon because of his butterfly tattoo – this powerful prison drama is set in the infamous French penal colony Devil’s Island. Steve McQueen impressively stars as the title character, desperate to escape Devil’s Island’s gruesome brutality. Dustin Hoffman gives memorable support as his friend, the small-time fraudster Louis Dega. Tuesday 8 May Inspirational: Kate Humble with Emma and some alpacas Credit: BBC Back to the Land with Kate Humble BBC Two, 7.00pm There aren’t many TV shows that merit the word “inspirational” but Kate Humble’s series looking at the lives and work of entrepreneurial countryside pioneers around the UK does. Here she returns for another 12-part run, beginning by visiting four new start-ups in Cornwall which were prompted by a perceived gap in the market. Her clear favourites – she returns again and again to check on their progress – are free-diving seaweed harvesters Caro and Tim. This sustainability-aware pair were looking to work locally when they realised that, despite seaweed becoming more fashionable as a cooking ingredient, no one was harvesting the plentiful supply in the sea near them. Much hard work and ingenuity later, it’s an unlikely business idea that looks set to be a winner. Humble also meets a couple who reversed their farm’s declining fortunes by taking a leap of faith into free-range duck breeding, two best friends who supply native-flower bouquets to Cornwall’s booming high-end wedding market and a lavishly bearded brewer whose wild foraging in the local fields and hedgerows supplies the ingredients for his uniquely flavoured “wild” beers. Gerard O’Donovan Danceworks: Street to Stage BBC Four, 7.30pm Rising British star Dickson Mbi displays a range of talents in this film following him and his hip-hop popping team, Fiya House, competing in an international street dance competition. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm The Eurovision song contest circus kicks off tonight in Lisbon with the first semi-final featuring 19 countries (including Ireland) of the record-equalling 43 competing this year. UK fans have to wait for Saturday’s Grand Final to hear SuRie sing our entry, Storm. The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds Channel 4, 8.00pm The first in a two-part special exploring how children learn the difference between right and wrong, as another class of five-year-olds are challenged to decide if it’s OK to cheat and what to do when someone tells you a secret. Abandoned Engineering Yesterday, 8.00pm The series exploring mysterious abandoned buildings returns for a second series. This week, a vast labyrinth of crumbling tunnels, bunkers and towers in northern Poland, once a cutting-edge oil refinery, reveals its former role as a pivotal part of Hitler’s war machine. GO The Split BBC One, 9.00pm Abi Morgan’s legal drama hurries on apace with further revelations drawing us deeper into the lives of Hannah (Nicola Walker) and her dysfunctional family of lawyers. Tonight, things get heated in a case involving frozen embryos, and matriarch Ruth (Deborah Findlay) is evasive over finances. Later Live: with Jools Holland BBC Two, 10.00pm Returning for a 52nd series, Jools Holland welcomes more acts to play live in studio. Among them are Snow Patrol, Plan B, Bettye Lavette, and rising stars Shame and Jade Bird. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle: The Engagement Interview BBC One, 11.40pm; NI/Wales, 12.05am; Scot, 12.45am In case you won’t catch the endless clips in royal wedding-related programming over the next 10 days, here’s a repeat of the interview the couple gave Mishal Husain at Kensington Palace last year on the day they announced their engagement. GO My Cousin Rachel (2017) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 2.30pm and 11.30pm “Did she? Didn’t she?” ponders stricken hero Philip Ashley about the titular character and the possible murder of her husband/his cousin. This is based on Daphne du Maurier’s 1951 novel, but there was also a film version in 1952, an Eighties BBC version, on radio, and on the stage. Young Philip, the heir to a fortune, is played in Roger Michell’s stylish but sexless adaptation by a rakish Sam Claflin. Hot Fuzz (2007) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s follow-up to the cult comedy-horror Shaun of the Dead (and the second chapter in the Cornetto Trilogy) reunites Pegg with Nick Frost in the story of two policemen who uncover a conspiracy in a Somerset village. Timothy Dalton is a sinister triumph as a millionaire baddy. Sharp, funny and with explosive action scenes, it’s a very British action-comedy that does everything it should. Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice? (1969) ★★★☆☆ Talking Pictures TV, 9.00pm This is the third in a trilogy of Robert Aldrich-produced films (following What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte). It also features two female leads – this time, an Arizona widow (Geraldine Page) hires housekeepers to con them out of their money before murdering them, but Ruth Gordon’s Alice Dimmock isn’t easily fooled. Wednesday 9 May Healthy outlook: Fearnley-Whittingstall with volunteer Janet Credit: BBC Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall BBC One, 9.00pm; Scotland, 10.45pm He tried to get Newcastle exercising together and demonstrated to the unconvinced in Bristol just how much sugar there is in a smoothie, now, in this final episode, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall faces his toughest test of all – he heading to the Tory Party Conference to speak about obesity and attempting to get an audience with Health Minister Jeremy Hunt. But can he convince the ministers – and the hard-to-pin-down Hunt – that they need to do more to combat both national awareness of what we eat and the country’s fitness levels? First, he checks in with some of those who have signed up for the Newcastle Can scheme; heads out for a surfing lesson with Janet, a willing but struggling participant; trials a weight-loss experiment at the GP’s surgery and looks at the way in which marketing affects our understanding of food. Whether or not he manages to replicate the impact that Jamie Oliver had on the government during his school dinners campaign remains to be seen, but this impassioned series will surely have convinced the UK’s couch potatoes that it’s time to embrace the sunnier weather and start walking. Sarah Hughes DanceWorks: Choreographing History BBC Four, 7.30pm “With contemporary dance we don’t inherit ready-made stories, so we have to make up our own,” says choreographer Shobana Jeyasingh in this fascinating film. Jeyasingh’s latest work, Contagion, takes the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic as its subject, and this documentary follows her as she translates her research into a haunting, beautiful piece of work. The Secret Life of the Zoo Channel 4, 8.00pm The fallout from orangutan Emma’s pregnancy continues this week as the new mother pushes away the older child to raise the baby, leaving the zoo staff increasingly worried as to how the abandoned youth will cope. Mystery of the Lost Paintings Sky Arts, 8.00pm This episode examines the 1958 fire at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, which destroyed two of Monet’s famous Water Lily paintings, before attempting to digitally reconstruct one of the damaged works. Love in the Countryside BBC Two, 9.00pm Everything moves up a gear as lovelorn dairy farmers Pete and Ed invite their three prospective partners over for a weekend. Cue early issues as fiftysomethings Helen and Caroline struggle in the face of thirtysomething Frannie’s more obvious assets. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm It’s an emotional finale at the Birmingham Women’s Hospital as we meet Lauren and Rachel, who are preparing for a second child, and Urwah and Nadhia, who are about to meet their fifth. Meanwhile, Laura and Paul, friends turned lovers, have nine kids between them and another on the way. Harry & Meghan: A Love Story Sky One, 9.00pm Bafta-winning film-maker Toby Sculthorp turns his eye to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, talking to close friends and former head of the British Army, Richard Dannatt. SH Tortured By Mum and Dad: The Turpin 13 Channel 5, 10.00pm When 13 children were discovered shackled and starved by their parents, David and Louise Turpin earlier this year, it made global headlines. This documentary returns to the case, asking how the pair managed to hide their terrible secret for so long. A Walk in the Woods (2015) ★★☆☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Robert Redford turns Bill Bryson’s elegant travelogue about his middle-aged attempt on the Appalachian Trail – a 2,000-mile trek through the eastern United States – into a sloppy sitcom. The great American outdoors, however, are shot in picturesque fashion. Nick Nolte and Emma Thompson star as Bryson’s travelling partners, who at least reveal that the human condition is no walk in the park. Scream (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 10.00pm Wes Craven rebooted the teenage-horror genre with Scream. It’s gory, but clever and funny, too, particularly in its own self-awareness: the characters talk constantly about being in a slasher movie. And Craven wrong-foots us with a terrific opening sequence that gleefully breaks the rules of film-making. Courteney Cox and Neve Campbell star. The sequel Scream 2 is on Friday at 11.00pm. I Love You, Man (2009) ★★★★☆ 5STAR, 11.00pm Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. Thursday 10 May Michael C Hall (centre) in Safe Credit: Netflix Safe Netflix, from today For the man who played serial-killing forensics expert Dexter and funeral director David in Six Feet Under, it’s fitting that we first encounter Michael C Hall’s latest deeply flawed antihero, Tom Delaney, by his wife’s grave in this opening set-piece of his new drama. This UK-set eight-parter then skips forward six years, with Tom (Hall’s English accent is pretty passable) managing two teenage daughters, his work as a paediatric surgeon and life in a “safe” gated community. What becomes rapidly clear is that his neighbours are also nursing guilty secrets and haunted by past failures: from best mate Marc Warren and Amanda Abbingdon’s dogged detective to Nigel Lindsay’s jovial life-and-soul type. Then Tom’s oldest daughter goes missing during a house party, and skeletons tumble out of closets in an enjoyably twist-riddled affair. The first collaboration between Safe’s co-creators, bestselling novelist Harlan Coben and screenwriter Danny Brocklehurst (Accused; Ordinary Lies; Come Home), marries the former’s love of a cliffhanger and skill with fast-paced narrative with the latter’s facility for character and emotional insight. Gabriel Tate PGA Tour Golf: The Players Championship Sky Sports the Players, 12.30pm It’s day one of the tournament widely regarded as the unofficial fifth Major, held at TPC Sawgrass in Florida. Last year, Kim Si-Woo, at 21, became the youngest champion in Players history and it was much deserved: his was a nerveless display that belied his young age. Danceworks: Prejudice and Passion BBC Four, 7.30pm Choreographer Carlos Pons Guerra invites the cameras into his latest production for children at the Birmingham Rep, a work challenging assumptions of gender and identity with its story of two male penguins raising a chick together. Premier League Football: West Ham United v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm Looking to secure their safety, relegation-threatened West Ham United welcome Manchester United to the Olympic Stadium. The Hammers will need to banish the memories of their last match against Man United, when Anthony Martial, Paul Pogba and a brace from Romelu Lukaku gave Jose Mourinho’s side a 4-0 win. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm Rylan Clark-Neal and Scott Mills are joined by British Eurovision hopeful SuRie to introduce coverage of the second semi-final from Lisbon, with 10 of the 18 featured acts making it to Saturday’s final. Food Unwrapped: China Special Channel 4, 8.00pm Jimmy Doherty and his team explore artisanal and commercial methods of production for garlic, noodles, soy sauce and fortune cookies. Red Ape: Saving the Orangutan BBC Two, 9.00pm This alarming and frequently harrowing documentary makes direct connections between Borneo’s plummeting orangutan population, the boom in illegal animal trading and rocketing global demand for palm oil, but there are glimmers of hope, due to the ceaseless diligence of local activists. Urban Myths: David Bowie and Marc Bolan Sky Arts, 9.00pm Luke Treadaway and Jack Whitehall star as the teenage David Bowie and Marc Bolan in this by turns silly and oddly poignant comedy of two icons bonding, bickering and dreaming of stardom while earning a crust decorating their manager’s office. GT Riot Girls Channel 4, 10.00pm A gleefully ribald new prank show from the supremely talented and smart quartet of Grace Campbell, Jen Wakefield, Cam Spence and Sophie Duker, using stunts to highlight the casual sexism and gender inequality in society from manspreading on the tube to contraception. It’s as crude as it is funny and effective. Great Art ITV, 10.45pm; not STV Tim Marlow’s admirably unadorned visual arts series returns to profile a man not unscrutinised over the years, but if this pen portrait fails to add much new to the David Hockney story, it’s an efficient and entertaining primer, focusing on his Royal Academy landscape and portraiture exhibitions of 2012 and 2016. GT The Bourne Supremacy (2004) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Continuing the story of Jason Bourne, this sequel sees the former assassin (Matt Damon) living in Goa with his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente) when a Russian assassin arrives to plunge him back into the deep end of a CIA conspiracy. While this is not quite on a par with the first film, Paul Greengrass’s direction is typically exhilarating, and Joan Allen and Brian Cox lend excellent support. Cocktail (1988) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 11.10pm Tom Cruise plays a tequila-tossing barman in this romantic drama which cashed in on his heart-throb image. After leaving the army, Brian (Cruise) gets a job working in a Manhattan bar. His Martini mentor is Doug (Bryan Brown), who soon teaches him the tricks of the trade, but when the pair fall out over a girl, Brian heads for the Caribbean. It’s a bland concoction but strangely agreeable. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) ★★★★☆ Film4, 11.15pm This startling debut by Marielle Heller shows the funny side of a teenager’s explorations into her sexuality as a 15-year-old wannabe cartoonist Minnie (Bel Powley) seduces her mother’s 35-year-old boyfriend Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård). Heller’s nimble direction and clever script ensure that the film never paints either Minnie or Monroe entirely as victim or predator. Friday 11 May Thure Lindhardt and Sofia Helin in The Bridge Credit: BBC The Bridge BBC Two, 9.00pm With the exception perhaps of Wallander, of all the Scandi-noir characters that we’ve seen in recent years it is The Bridge’s Saga Norén (Sofia Helin), a committed Malmö detective with a level of social dysfunction that implies autism, who has burrowed deepest into the hearts of UK viewers. She struggles to cope emotionally with the world around her, but that only makes us like her all the more. When last we saw Saga, at the close of series three two years ago, she had solved another major murder case but stood accused herself of killing her abusive mother. At least she had the consolation of meeting a soulmate of sorts in Henrik Sabroe (Thure Lindhardt), a police colleague from across the Øresund bridge linking Sweden and Denmark, and a man deeply damaged by the murder of his wife and the disappearance of his two young daughters. At the start of this instantly gripping fourth and final series, things are not looking good for Saga as she wakes up in a cold, grey, unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile, Henrik is called to the scene of a particularly grizzly murder in Copenhagen that has a link to the controversial deportation of an Iranian illegal immigrant. Gerard O’Donovan Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist Netflix, from today A bank raid gone wrong, a horrific bomb-collar murder, a cat and mouse hunt by the FBI to track down a former beauty queen turned self-styled criminal. This anticipated documentary picks apart the bizarre story of the so-called “pizza bomber heist” that gripped the city of Erie, Pennsylvania, in 2003. Fifteen years later, the discovery of new evidence suggests that the story could be even more strange. The One Show: NHS Patients Awards Special BBC One, 7.00pm A special edition marking the 70th anniversary of the NHS and celebrating the work of doctors, nurses and medical staff who deliver outstanding care – as nominated by viewers and the Patients Association. Matt Baker and Alex Jones present. BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm Violinist Nicola Benedetti and trumpeter Alison Balsom join presenter Josie D’Arby for the competition’s semi-final, in which five individual category winners – including percussionist Matthew Brett, cellist Maxim Calver and saxophonist Robert Burton – compete for a place in the final. The judges include conductor Jessica Cottis and composer Kerry Andrew. GO Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Krishnan Guru-Murthy reports from the popular tourist resorts of the Dominican Republic, where a UN investigation has uncovered shocking crimes against young people at the hands of sex tourists. Britain’s Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson Channel 5, 8.00pm In the final programme of his excellent series, Tony Robinson recounts the tangled – and entertaining – history of Winchester Cathedral, whose bishops were once among the richest, most influential and worst behaved in Britain – and where one of England’s greatest novelists, Jane Austen, is buried. Portillo’s Hidden History of Britain Channel 5, 9.00pm Bringing his foray to a close, former defence secretary Michael Portillo visits the village of Imber on the Salisbury Plain, which was taken over by the Army in 1943 for use as a wartime training ground and, despite promises to the contrary, still remains in the hands of the military. GO Test Cricket: Ireland v Pakistan Sky Sports Main Event, 11.50pm A historic occasion, this, as Ireland play their first-ever Test match, with Pakistan as the opposition at Malahide Cricket Club. Over the next few years, Ireland will have 60-65 home internationals, including 15 Test matches. Uncapped batsman Imam-ul-Haq, the nephew of former skipper Inzamam, has been named in Pakistan’s squad. Northern Soul (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 11.15pm The nostalgia is potent in this chronicle of the popular northern soul dance halls in the Seventies. The soundtrack is as evocative and wonderful as you might expect, and the drama offers a charming slice of social and cultural Lancashire history. It’s just a shame that the storyline has to follow the same innocent young man led astray/conflict-resolution story arc of nearly every coming-of-age film out there. Buried (2010) ★★★☆☆ BBC One, 11.55pm; N Ireland, 12.25am Ryan Reynolds plays an American truck driver ambushed in Iraq and buried by insurgents in a coffin, with only a phone and a Zippo lighter at his disposal. One might assume the dramatic opportunities for a man in this predicament are finite, but Chris Sparling’s inventive screenplay and Rodrigo Cortés’ direction open up the story beyond the confines of the space in which Reynolds is trapped. The Crying Game (1992) ★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.05am Neil Jordan’s tremendous psychological thriller, set against the backdrop of the Irish Troubles, still contains one of the great cinematic twists. Stephen Rea stars as Provisional IRA volunteer Fergus, who helps to kidnap a British soldier (US actor Forest Whitaker) in order to secure the release of jailed IRA members. However, things go wrong when Fergus begins to form a bond with his prisoner. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
Thursday 3 May Prince Harry’s Story: Four Royal Weddings ITV, 9.00pm The weddings are those of Charles and Lady Diana Spencer, the Prince of Wales and Camilla, William and Kate and now the Prince’s own. And we know what comes after next… the funeral, of his mother, Diana, Princess of Wales. With just over a fortnight to go before Prince Harry and Meghan Markle tie the knot, this documentary looks back over the prince’s life (all 33 years of it) as a royal, charting the journey from a childhood marked by grief, through his active service as a soldier in Afghanistan and later charity work, to what we must hope will be the happiest day of his life, his wedding day, Saturday 19 May. Explored through the usual selection of archive footage, news reports and commentary, the documentary stands out because of its contributors, the net being cast rather wider than usual. So we get to hear from people such as Steve Hoare, guitarist in a band that played at the pub near Highgrove where young Harry enjoyed drinking, as well as singer Geri Horner, Olympian Dame Kelly Holmes, former Royal chef Carolyn Robb and many others. All of these faces help build a picture of how, and why, this prince is regarded with such particular affection. GO Britain’s Best Home Cook BBC One, 8.00pm Here is yet another attempt by the BBC to reproduce the lost magic of The Great British Bake Off. Here Mary Berry is joined by Strictly co-host Claudia Winkleman, chef Dan Doherty and produce expert Chris Bavin for an eight-week live-in contest in which 10 amateur cooks vie for the title of Britain’s best. GO Ambulance BBC One, 9.00pm A machete attack and two shootings keep the West Midlands ambulance service’s specialist trauma team busy on an eventful weekend night shift, while another crew answers a call from a victim of domestic abuse. GO Syria: The World’s War BBC Two, 9.00pm How could peaceful protest spiral into such unspeakable savagery – half a million people killed, millions of lives shattered and so much of Syria in ruins? That’s the question at the heart of Lyse Doucet’s deeply disturbing two-part documentary about the terrible conflict in Syria and the roles other states have played in perpetuating it. Concludes tomorrow. GO Election 2018 BBC One, 11.45pm; NI, 12.15am As the results from English local council elections roll in, Huw Edwards, Laura Kuenssberg and a panel of politicians and pundits discuss the impact on key districts and boroughs. GO Urban Myths: Alice Cooper and Salvador Dali Sky Arts, 9.00pm In probably the best episode of the current run, comedian Noel Fielding plays US rocker Alice Cooper while David Suchet is surrealist artist Salvador Dali in an entertainingly reimagined account of the pair’s bizarre four-day collaboration in New York in 1973 to produce in one of the world’s first holograms. Bonuses include Paul Kaye’s performance as Cooper’s legendary manager, Shep Gordon, and an original score by Richard Hawley and Jarvis Cocker. GO Barry Sky Atlantic, 10.45pm Very few new TV series ever receive such near-universal praise as Bill Hader’s entertaining comedy about a hitman who finds himself badly bitten by the acting bug while out on a job. In this second episode, hitman Barry (Hader) is forced to confront a bitter truth about his day job when acting coach Gene (Henry Winkler) encourages the class to channel their feelings into their work. GO Control (2007) ★★★★☆ AMC, 9.00pm Released one day short of the 27th anniversary of Ian Curtis’s suicide, Anton Corbijn’s homage to the troubled Joy Division frontman is superbly researched and exquisitely executed in black and white. Starring Sam Riley (his first time in a lead role) and Samantha Morton, the film charts Curtis’s rise to fame, his battle with epilepsy, and his eventual demise. It’s a beautiful, but extremely sad tale. For Your Eyes Only (1981) ★★★☆☆ ITV4, 9.00pm In Roger Moore’s fifth Bond film, 007 is sent to recover a communication device which was lost at sea when a British spy ship sank in the Ionian. The transmitter can order attacks from Britain’s submarine missiles, so Bond must reach it before the Soviets do, but he’s distracted by Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet), whose parents were murdered by the KGB. The plot is thin, but the film is rescued somewhat by high-quality stunts. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 9.00pm The first novel in Stieg Larsson’s popular crime series gets the Hollywood treatment via the trusty hands of Fight Club director David Fincher. Rooney Mara is excellent as the tormented computer hacker brought in to help writer Mikael (Daniel Craig) research a book on the wealthy Vanger family, but the flimsiness of Larsson’s whodunit awkwardly shines through. Friday 4 May Friday Night Dinner Channel 4, 10.00pm Simon Bird, Tom Rosenthal, Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig Credit: Mark Johnson/Channel 4 Friday Night Dinner is a one of those sitcoms that you either love or loathe, depending on your appreciation of slapstick and smutty jokes. Whichever camp you are in, the comedy has made it to a fifth series. And for those who do love it, this opening episode sees brothers Adam and Jonny (Simon Bird and Tom Rosenthal) turn up for their standard Friday night dinner, only to discover their parents Martin and Jackie (Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig) enjoying their new hot tub (because it is apparently still the Seventies) and planning Chinese takeaway. That all changes, however, once their hapless neighbour Jim (Mark Heap) decides to leave his dog with them because of he has a hot date. Cue lots of “jokes” about internet food, furtive sex and whether going to the takeaway down the road is “very 1930s”. The excellent cast all do their best – Rosenthal is particularly good at drily delivering the put-downs – but creator Robert Popper’s farce-heavy script requires them to do far too much heavy lifting. By the time Jim appears at the door with dirt-streaked hands and a compulsively giggling lady friend, you may find yourself silently weeping at the clunky agony of it all. SH Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Rania Abouzeid reports from Kabul, where kidnappings are a daily occurrence. Here, Abouzeid explores two cases – one involving a teenager who has been held for nine months – and discovers that there are no easy answers. This is a bleak but important piece of reporting. SH Home from Home BBC One, 9.30pm The ghost of Ever Decreasing Circles continues to haunt this amiable sitcom, although it lacks the dark edge of the Richard Briers hit. Here, a fed-up Neil (Johnny Vegas) throws a party, much to his snobby neighbour Robert’s (Adam James) delight. SH Episodes BBC Two, 10.00pm; Wales, 11.05pm The final series of the acerbic satire of Hollywood has been an absolute delight. And that continues with this episode as Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Bev (Tamsin Greig) discover just how far Matt (Matt LeBlanc) is prepared to go in order to get a co-creator credit. SH High & Dry Channel 4, 10.30pm Marc Wootton’s comedy about a group of plane crash survivors initially seems behind the times given that Lost ended eight years ago. However, stick with it because Wootton is in fine comedy monster mode as air steward Brett. Plus, the whole thing perks up once Vicky Pepperdine arrives as indomitable survivor Harriet. SH Too Fat for Love BBC Three, from 10.00am There’s a touch of the Carrie Bradshaw’s about this film in which vlogger Emma B asks the question: are we [the plus-sized community] too fat for love? To answer that, Emma talks to other plus-sized women, tries out life modelling and attends a sex tips class. The result is an entertaining film that is particularly astute about the way in which society portrays larger people. SH The Jazz Ambassadors BBC Four, 9.00pm This intriguing documentary tells the story of how congressman Adam Clayton Powell Jr convinced President Eisenhower to use jazz artists as cultural ambassadors, sending them on global tours to tackle Soviet propaganda. As the tours progressed, the musicians, including Louis Armstrong, found themselves increasingly conflicted: how could they promote America as the Land of the Free when the US’s Jim Crow segregation laws made them second-class citizens back home? SH Dunkirk (2017) ★★★★★ Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm Director Christopher Nolan (who, bafflingly, is still yet to win an Oscar), takes a novel approach to the Dunkirk evacuation. Told through three separate perspectives, taking place in the air, the sea and on land, the film is a disorientating, dazzling, superbly crafted tribute to their bravery. Tom Hardy, Kenneth Branagh, Mark Rylance and Harry Styles are among the cast. Magic Mike (2012) ★★★★☆ E4, 9.00pm Steven Soderbergh made a surprise decision to tackle the world of male strippers in Tampa, Florida, and exceeded every expectation: it’s one of his most enjoyable movies. Channing Tatum, in a story based on his own pre-Hollywood career, is revelatory – and Soderbergh works similar wonders with young star Alex Pettyfer and the resurgent Matthew McConaughey as the club’s smooth-talking, cowboy-hat-wearing owner. Non-Stop (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Liam Neeson is the dolorous air marshal who spends most of this film bounding up and down the aisle of a hijacked plane with a time-bomb under his arm in a plot so absurd that you can’t help but smile. Every passenger is a suspect, even Julianne Moore’s sweet heart-surgery patient. But Neeson wears the action-hero mantle so comfortably nowadays that you’ll become engrossed. Saturday 5 May Is that your final answer? Jeremy Clarkson takes over as host Credit: ITV Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? ITV, 9.15pm Judith Keppel winning, the Coughing Major cheating, Chris Tarrant smirking – for a brief period at the turn of the century Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? was the hottest programme on TV. One episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers and the show went on to inspire a bestselling novel, Q&A, which in turn became Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s 2008 Oscar-winning film. In truth, the quiz series only left TV screens four years ago, but it’s the heady early years that ITV is clearly hoping to repeat with this new version to commemorate the 20th anniversaryof the programme. So, what can we expect? It will air every night this week, and there’s a new host, Jeremy Clarkson, who’s roaring in to replace Tarrant. The old lifeline favourites – Phone a Friend, Ask the Audience and 50/50 – remain in place, although ITV have confirmed that there will be a fourth – Ask the Host. Contestants will also be allowed to set their own safety net, traditionally £32,000, once they reach question five. But is it possible for this version to capture the public’s imagination in these days of peak TV? One thing is certain: Clarkson has just the right amount of cocky charm to make a go of it as host. Sarah Hughes Happy Tent Tales CBeebies iPlayer,from today The BBC’s preschool series of live-action folk tales continues with five traditional stories presented by Karina O’Malley. There’s Welsh fairy tale The Golden Harp, traditional Scottish fable The Eagle and the Wren, and a lovely take on one of Aesop’s best, The Fox and the Crow. Rugby Union: Army v Navy Sky Sports Arena, 2.45pm Twickenham is the setting as the two Armed Forces compete for the Babcock trophy. Women’s FA Cup Football: Arsenal Women v Chelsea Ladies BBC One, 5.10pm Arsenal Women take on Chelsea Ladies in the final of the FA Cup, which takes place at Wembley Stadium. Fourteen-time winners Arsenal overcame Everton Ladies 2-1 in their semi-final, while Chelsea defeated the holders Manchester City 2-0. This match is a repeat of the 2016 fixture, in which the Gunners emerged victorious 1-0, thanks to Danielle Carter’s early strike. Beatles Night Sky Arts, from 6.00pm Sky Arts celebrates all things Fab Four with films tracing The Beatles from their humble beginnings to the heady heights of becoming the most famous pop band in the world. First up is My Beatles Black Album with Charles Hazlewood, in which the composer creates a mix of solo tracks by members of the band. The Beatles: From Liverpool to San Francisco then charts the band from their days playing in the Cavern Club to their US success. That’s followed by Ben Lewis’s recent The Beatles, Hippies & Hells Angels which looks at the rise and fall of their multimedia arm Apple Corps. SH Britain’s Got Talent ITV, 8.00pm With two golden buzzer acts already through to the live semi-finals, the fourth round of auditions heats up as more hopefuls strive to impress Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm It’s time to uncover Britain’s “Most Regency” town – and if eager Georgette Heyer fans were about to shout Bath, you are wrong. The answer, it turns out, is Cheltenham. Alice Roberts learns about Regency etiquette and uncovers why the pigeon is so important to the spa town. Casualty BBC One, 9.15pm Fans of the long-running medical drama get a treat here as the magnificently icy consultant Connie Beauchamp (Amanda Mealing) returns to work and instantly begins to reassert her authority. Elsewhere, doctor Ethan (George Rainsford) gets a shock when he visits the spot where his brother was murdered. The Great Rameses: New Evidence Revealed Channel 5, 10.10pm Channel 5’s latest series is a pretty straightforward but interesting-enough trawl through Ancient Egyptian history. The series begins with the story of Rameses II, who defeated the Hittites and was subsequently declared a living god by his people. SH Casablanca (1942, b/w) ★★★★★ ITV3, 3.00pm Humphrey Bogart’s Rick runs the American Bar in the eponymous Moroccan city, while Ingrid Bergman is the old flame who forces him to choose between his own heart and the fight against Nazism. Seventy six years on, Michael Curtiz’s Oscar-winning romantic drama is still a film to make the spirit soar; its finely drawn characters, quotable dialogue and haunting music have become iconic. Kajaki (2014) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 10.00pm; N Ireland, 11.00pm This tense film from Paul Katis tells the true story of British soldiers trapped in a mine-laden riverbed in Afghanistan. It not only convinces with its gory effects, but also with the agony each mine inflicts, and the delirium added when each man doses up with morphine: the acting from a uniformly strong ensemble cast, including Game of Thrones’s Mark Stanley, puts you right there. Sex and the City 2 (2010) ★★☆☆☆ ITV, 10.35pm SatC stalwarts will want a bite of this second film from the Big Apple franchise, but New York City is no more as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and friends head to Abu Dhabi. The fashion is outrageous, there’s a gay wedding with a swan, and Liza Minnelli does Beyoncé, but the whole thing is culturally insensitive and the women morph into cartoon characters. Turn off your brain and enjoy spending time with these old friends. Sunday 6 May Benoit Blin, Tom Allen, Liam Charles and Cherish Finden. Credit: Channel 4 Bake Off: The Professionals Channel 4, 8.00pm Completing the trifecta of Great British Bake Off shows that have switched from the BBC to Channel 4 is this competition for professional pâtissiers, formerly called Crème de la Crème. The six-part contest has wisely retained judges Benoit Blin and Cherish Finden, and hired new hosts in comedian Tom Allen and newcomer Liam Charles, who appeared in last year’s Bake Off. The format sees 12 teams of two pastry chefs compete in confectionery wars, beginning with the first half dozen. They’re tasked with making 24 tartes aux fruits and 24 tartes conversations [a sort of French Bakewell tart] followed by a show-stopping edible structure based on a Black Forest gâteau. The tension spikes as temperatures rise inside Firle Place in East Sussex, where it’s filmed – sweltering heat leads to high drama when contestants’ chocolate sculptures look in danger of toppling over. The appeal of the contest is in the staggering quality of the complicated pastries and edible works of art that the chefs turn out, which understandably knock the offerings of Bake Off’s amateurs into a cocked hat. And judges Blin and Finden are as theatrical as they are hard to please. This results in a scrumptious hour of food fetishism. Vicki Power Premier League Football: Chelsea v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 3.30pm Having won their last four games, Chelsea go into this match against third-placed Liverpool in good form. The Blues’ defence will have to be at its best, though: in Mohamed Salah, Liverpool have the most dangerous attacker in the league, and he’ll relish the opportunity to score against the club that sold him to Roma in 2016. When these sides met at Anfield, an 85th-minute goal from Willian ensured Chelsea salvaged a 1-1 draw. The Big Painting Challenge BBC One, 6.00pm It’s the final of this uplifting painting contest for amateurs, and the quartet of finalists relocate to Chatham Dockyards, where they must paint self-portraits. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm The arrival of the circus to Corfu provides the magic to bring Louisa (Keeley Hawes) and the recently separated Spiro (Alexis Georgoulis) ever closer in an emotional final episode of this beguiling drama. In fact, all of the Durrells have relationship upheavals, teeing up the action nicely for a fourth series. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Wilkie Collins’s Gothic thriller continues to compel in this fresh adaptation. In the penultimate episode, the women continue to suffer – clued-up Marian (Jessie Buckley) still has fever, rendering her unable to save her clueless half-sister Laura (Olivia Vinall) from the big twist we all know is coming. Ballet’s Dark Knight: Sir Kenneth MacMillan BBC Four, 9.00pm Darcey Bussell and Monica Mason are among the ballet stars who pay tribute to the choreographer Kenneth MacMillan in this excellent new biopic. Bussell, who worked with him at the age of 19, recalls how hard he pushed his dancers: “Nothing was ever good enough.” With contributions from MacMillan’s widow, Australian artist Deborah Williams, the documentary celebrates how the former artistic director of the Royal Ballet transformed ballet from polite pirouetting to a gritty, sexy art form. Michael Clark’s To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song BBC Four, 10.00pm Filmed at the Barbican in 2017, maverick choreographer Michael Clark’s acclaimed To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song is a mesmerising three-act piece in which he pays tribute to his greatest influences: punk music, Erik Satie and David Bowie. It is introduced here by Jarvis Cocker. VP Walter Presents: Tabula Rasa Channel 4, 10.15pm Belgium gives the Nordic lands a run for their money with another top-notch TV thriller. This nine-parter follows Mie D’Haeze (Veerle Baetens), an amnesiac psychiatric patient who finds she’s been implicated in a missing persons case. Her disturbed mind makes sorting the truth from fantasy virtually impossible. VP Megamind (2010) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 2.30pm DreamWorks’ fun tale of a Mekon-like, inept baddie is weird and witty. Directed by Tom McGrath, who was behind Madagascar, Will Ferrell leads voice duties, with funny turns from David Cross as his deputy, Minion, and Brad Pitt as his vain, buff, Aryan nemesis, the perpetually victorious Metro Man. An amusing quirk of Megamind’s is his affected pronunciation – he pronounces Metro City to rhyme with atrocity. The Boxtrolls (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 2.50pm There’s a cheerfully grotesque streak to this Oscar-winning stop-motion animation from the makers of Coraline and ParaNorman. In the town of Cheesebridge, a human boy raised by boxtrolls – trash-collecting creatures who live under the sewers wearing cardboard boxes – vows to save them from a villainous pest exterminator. It’s an endearing set-up and the carnival feel should please both adults and children. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 6.10pm The denouement to Peter Jackson’s grandiose adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s epic is the one that scooped an Oscar. Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) arrive at Mount Doom to destroy the Ring, both helped and hindered by the loathsome Gollum. Jackson’s only misjudgement is that the film meanders on for around half an hour after the real action is over. Bank Holiday Monday Peter Kay and Sian Gibson Credit: BBC Peter Kay’s Car Share Unscripted BBC One, 10.00pm The emergence of this improvised episode and the official climax to Peter Kay’s sitcom (airing next Bank Holiday Monday) is a treat for all sorts of reasons. Firstly, it would seem to allay concerns prompted by the comedian’s sudden cancellation of an extensive stand-up tour late last year. Secondly, it may offer closure to the many viewers left distraught by the cliffhanger ending to the second series, which saw straight-talking, outwardly stern John (Kay) fail to respond to the declaration of love proffered by co-worker and unsinkable romantic Kayleigh (Sian Gibson). And thirdly, it will mean one more hour in the company of these two beautifully drawn characters who felt like old friends from the moment they first appeared on our screens in 2015. This opening salvo sees Kay and Gibson ad-libbing in character, attempting to corpse each other with a ruthless lack of professionalism as John and Kayleigh drive home on their daily commute in John’s Fiat 500, their only company being the cheesy oldies radio station Forever FM. Don’t expect resolutions yet; instead, sit back and enjoy two fine performers rustling comic magic up out of thin air. Gabriel Tate The £100k Drop Channel 4, 4.00pm It has a new teatime slot and a 10th of the previous prize money, but Davina McCall is still in situ for this entertaining game show of general knowledge and playing the odds. Tenko True Entertainment, 6.00pm The classic BBC drama set in a Japanese POW camp for British, Dutch and Australian women interned after the fall of Singapore in 1942 is being aired every weeknight at 6.00pm. It’s unflinching in its explorations of friendship, sexuality and the degradations of war. Danceworks: The Dying Swan BBC Four, 7.30pm Beginning four consecutive nights of films exploring the world of British dance today, former Royal Ballet principal Zenaida Yanowsky explores the physical toll of her career as she attempts one final post-surgery comeback. Dispatches: Britain’s Benefits Crisis Channel 4, 7.30pm Morland Sanders investigates the Government’s roll-out of the Universal Credit scheme. It is ostensibly aimed at simplifying the benefits system but instead it is dogged by controversy, cuts to provisions and administrative glitches. ATP Masters Tennis: The Mutua Madrid Open Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm It’s the opening day of play in the clay-court tournament at the Caja Magica, where world number one and home favourite Rafael Nadal – in formidable form – is the event’s reigning champion. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Fiona Seres’s impressively sustained exploration of brutal, brittle masculinity and the stout resistance of their intended victims reaches a gripping climax as Lura (Olivia Vinall) and Marian (Jessie Buckley) strike back against the devious Fosco (Riccardo Scamarcio) and thuggish Sir Percival (Dougray Scott). The Road to Palmyra BBC Four, 9.00pm Ebullient historian Dan Cruickshank and wry photographer Don McCullin make an odd couple, yet their journey through a ravaged Syria casts new light on both the conflict as well as what the material and spiritual costs will be for future generations. GT Genderquake Channel 4, 9.00pm This gimmicky but occasionally enlightening TV experiment puts 11 strangers with different attitudes towards gender and sexuality in a house together for a week: prejudices are aired, preconceptions challenged and romances kindled. It concludes on Tuesday with further revelations and realisations, as well as a debate on the issues raised at 10.00pm. GT Forrest Gump (1994) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 9.00pm Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama is full of spirit – even if, at times, it’s slightly saccharine. Forrest (Tom Hanks) is a simpleton with a heart of gold, who, ever true to the homely advice of his mother (Sally Field) is reflecting on his improbable life as a Vietnam War hero, table-tennis champion and accidental millionaire. Hanks, depending on your sentimentality threshold, may prove to be adorable. Notting Hill (1999) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.20pm This is the second of Richard Curtis’s romcoms, after Four Weddings and a Funeral, about bumbling good eggs and frightfully pretty girls. Hugh Grant plays a London bookseller who attracts the attention of a film star (Julia Roberts) – it’s amusing, in particular when Grant’s character ineptly poses as a journalist from Horse & Hound magazine at a press junket for her sci-fi movie. Papillon (1973) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 11.00pm Based on the autobiography of petty criminal Henri Charrière – nicknamed Papillon because of his butterfly tattoo – this powerful prison drama is set in the infamous French penal colony Devil’s Island. Steve McQueen impressively stars as the title character, desperate to escape Devil’s Island’s gruesome brutality. Dustin Hoffman gives memorable support as his friend, the small-time fraudster Louis Dega. Tuesday 8 May Inspirational: Kate Humble with Emma and some alpacas Credit: BBC Back to the Land with Kate Humble BBC Two, 7.00pm There aren’t many TV shows that merit the word “inspirational” but Kate Humble’s series looking at the lives and work of entrepreneurial countryside pioneers around the UK does. Here she returns for another 12-part run, beginning by visiting four new start-ups in Cornwall which were prompted by a perceived gap in the market. Her clear favourites – she returns again and again to check on their progress – are free-diving seaweed harvesters Caro and Tim. This sustainability-aware pair were looking to work locally when they realised that, despite seaweed becoming more fashionable as a cooking ingredient, no one was harvesting the plentiful supply in the sea near them. Much hard work and ingenuity later, it’s an unlikely business idea that looks set to be a winner. Humble also meets a couple who reversed their farm’s declining fortunes by taking a leap of faith into free-range duck breeding, two best friends who supply native-flower bouquets to Cornwall’s booming high-end wedding market and a lavishly bearded brewer whose wild foraging in the local fields and hedgerows supplies the ingredients for his uniquely flavoured “wild” beers. Gerard O’Donovan Danceworks: Street to Stage BBC Four, 7.30pm Rising British star Dickson Mbi displays a range of talents in this film following him and his hip-hop popping team, Fiya House, competing in an international street dance competition. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm The Eurovision song contest circus kicks off tonight in Lisbon with the first semi-final featuring 19 countries (including Ireland) of the record-equalling 43 competing this year. UK fans have to wait for Saturday’s Grand Final to hear SuRie sing our entry, Storm. The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds Channel 4, 8.00pm The first in a two-part special exploring how children learn the difference between right and wrong, as another class of five-year-olds are challenged to decide if it’s OK to cheat and what to do when someone tells you a secret. Abandoned Engineering Yesterday, 8.00pm The series exploring mysterious abandoned buildings returns for a second series. This week, a vast labyrinth of crumbling tunnels, bunkers and towers in northern Poland, once a cutting-edge oil refinery, reveals its former role as a pivotal part of Hitler’s war machine. GO The Split BBC One, 9.00pm Abi Morgan’s legal drama hurries on apace with further revelations drawing us deeper into the lives of Hannah (Nicola Walker) and her dysfunctional family of lawyers. Tonight, things get heated in a case involving frozen embryos, and matriarch Ruth (Deborah Findlay) is evasive over finances. Later Live: with Jools Holland BBC Two, 10.00pm Returning for a 52nd series, Jools Holland welcomes more acts to play live in studio. Among them are Snow Patrol, Plan B, Bettye Lavette, and rising stars Shame and Jade Bird. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle: The Engagement Interview BBC One, 11.40pm; NI/Wales, 12.05am; Scot, 12.45am In case you won’t catch the endless clips in royal wedding-related programming over the next 10 days, here’s a repeat of the interview the couple gave Mishal Husain at Kensington Palace last year on the day they announced their engagement. GO My Cousin Rachel (2017) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 2.30pm and 11.30pm “Did she? Didn’t she?” ponders stricken hero Philip Ashley about the titular character and the possible murder of her husband/his cousin. This is based on Daphne du Maurier’s 1951 novel, but there was also a film version in 1952, an Eighties BBC version, on radio, and on the stage. Young Philip, the heir to a fortune, is played in Roger Michell’s stylish but sexless adaptation by a rakish Sam Claflin. Hot Fuzz (2007) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s follow-up to the cult comedy-horror Shaun of the Dead (and the second chapter in the Cornetto Trilogy) reunites Pegg with Nick Frost in the story of two policemen who uncover a conspiracy in a Somerset village. Timothy Dalton is a sinister triumph as a millionaire baddy. Sharp, funny and with explosive action scenes, it’s a very British action-comedy that does everything it should. Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice? (1969) ★★★☆☆ Talking Pictures TV, 9.00pm This is the third in a trilogy of Robert Aldrich-produced films (following What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte). It also features two female leads – this time, an Arizona widow (Geraldine Page) hires housekeepers to con them out of their money before murdering them, but Ruth Gordon’s Alice Dimmock isn’t easily fooled. Wednesday 9 May Healthy outlook: Fearnley-Whittingstall with volunteer Janet Credit: BBC Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall BBC One, 9.00pm; Scotland, 10.45pm He tried to get Newcastle exercising together and demonstrated to the unconvinced in Bristol just how much sugar there is in a smoothie, now, in this final episode, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall faces his toughest test of all – he heading to the Tory Party Conference to speak about obesity and attempting to get an audience with Health Minister Jeremy Hunt. But can he convince the ministers – and the hard-to-pin-down Hunt – that they need to do more to combat both national awareness of what we eat and the country’s fitness levels? First, he checks in with some of those who have signed up for the Newcastle Can scheme; heads out for a surfing lesson with Janet, a willing but struggling participant; trials a weight-loss experiment at the GP’s surgery and looks at the way in which marketing affects our understanding of food. Whether or not he manages to replicate the impact that Jamie Oliver had on the government during his school dinners campaign remains to be seen, but this impassioned series will surely have convinced the UK’s couch potatoes that it’s time to embrace the sunnier weather and start walking. Sarah Hughes DanceWorks: Choreographing History BBC Four, 7.30pm “With contemporary dance we don’t inherit ready-made stories, so we have to make up our own,” says choreographer Shobana Jeyasingh in this fascinating film. Jeyasingh’s latest work, Contagion, takes the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic as its subject, and this documentary follows her as she translates her research into a haunting, beautiful piece of work. The Secret Life of the Zoo Channel 4, 8.00pm The fallout from orangutan Emma’s pregnancy continues this week as the new mother pushes away the older child to raise the baby, leaving the zoo staff increasingly worried as to how the abandoned youth will cope. Mystery of the Lost Paintings Sky Arts, 8.00pm This episode examines the 1958 fire at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, which destroyed two of Monet’s famous Water Lily paintings, before attempting to digitally reconstruct one of the damaged works. Love in the Countryside BBC Two, 9.00pm Everything moves up a gear as lovelorn dairy farmers Pete and Ed invite their three prospective partners over for a weekend. Cue early issues as fiftysomethings Helen and Caroline struggle in the face of thirtysomething Frannie’s more obvious assets. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm It’s an emotional finale at the Birmingham Women’s Hospital as we meet Lauren and Rachel, who are preparing for a second child, and Urwah and Nadhia, who are about to meet their fifth. Meanwhile, Laura and Paul, friends turned lovers, have nine kids between them and another on the way. Harry & Meghan: A Love Story Sky One, 9.00pm Bafta-winning film-maker Toby Sculthorp turns his eye to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, talking to close friends and former head of the British Army, Richard Dannatt. SH Tortured By Mum and Dad: The Turpin 13 Channel 5, 10.00pm When 13 children were discovered shackled and starved by their parents, David and Louise Turpin earlier this year, it made global headlines. This documentary returns to the case, asking how the pair managed to hide their terrible secret for so long. A Walk in the Woods (2015) ★★☆☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Robert Redford turns Bill Bryson’s elegant travelogue about his middle-aged attempt on the Appalachian Trail – a 2,000-mile trek through the eastern United States – into a sloppy sitcom. The great American outdoors, however, are shot in picturesque fashion. Nick Nolte and Emma Thompson star as Bryson’s travelling partners, who at least reveal that the human condition is no walk in the park. Scream (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 10.00pm Wes Craven rebooted the teenage-horror genre with Scream. It’s gory, but clever and funny, too, particularly in its own self-awareness: the characters talk constantly about being in a slasher movie. And Craven wrong-foots us with a terrific opening sequence that gleefully breaks the rules of film-making. Courteney Cox and Neve Campbell star. The sequel Scream 2 is on Friday at 11.00pm. I Love You, Man (2009) ★★★★☆ 5STAR, 11.00pm Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. Thursday 10 May Michael C Hall (centre) in Safe Credit: Netflix Safe Netflix, from today For the man who played serial-killing forensics expert Dexter and funeral director David in Six Feet Under, it’s fitting that we first encounter Michael C Hall’s latest deeply flawed antihero, Tom Delaney, by his wife’s grave in this opening set-piece of his new drama. This UK-set eight-parter then skips forward six years, with Tom (Hall’s English accent is pretty passable) managing two teenage daughters, his work as a paediatric surgeon and life in a “safe” gated community. What becomes rapidly clear is that his neighbours are also nursing guilty secrets and haunted by past failures: from best mate Marc Warren and Amanda Abbingdon’s dogged detective to Nigel Lindsay’s jovial life-and-soul type. Then Tom’s oldest daughter goes missing during a house party, and skeletons tumble out of closets in an enjoyably twist-riddled affair. The first collaboration between Safe’s co-creators, bestselling novelist Harlan Coben and screenwriter Danny Brocklehurst (Accused; Ordinary Lies; Come Home), marries the former’s love of a cliffhanger and skill with fast-paced narrative with the latter’s facility for character and emotional insight. Gabriel Tate PGA Tour Golf: The Players Championship Sky Sports the Players, 12.30pm It’s day one of the tournament widely regarded as the unofficial fifth Major, held at TPC Sawgrass in Florida. Last year, Kim Si-Woo, at 21, became the youngest champion in Players history and it was much deserved: his was a nerveless display that belied his young age. Danceworks: Prejudice and Passion BBC Four, 7.30pm Choreographer Carlos Pons Guerra invites the cameras into his latest production for children at the Birmingham Rep, a work challenging assumptions of gender and identity with its story of two male penguins raising a chick together. Premier League Football: West Ham United v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm Looking to secure their safety, relegation-threatened West Ham United welcome Manchester United to the Olympic Stadium. The Hammers will need to banish the memories of their last match against Man United, when Anthony Martial, Paul Pogba and a brace from Romelu Lukaku gave Jose Mourinho’s side a 4-0 win. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm Rylan Clark-Neal and Scott Mills are joined by British Eurovision hopeful SuRie to introduce coverage of the second semi-final from Lisbon, with 10 of the 18 featured acts making it to Saturday’s final. Food Unwrapped: China Special Channel 4, 8.00pm Jimmy Doherty and his team explore artisanal and commercial methods of production for garlic, noodles, soy sauce and fortune cookies. Red Ape: Saving the Orangutan BBC Two, 9.00pm This alarming and frequently harrowing documentary makes direct connections between Borneo’s plummeting orangutan population, the boom in illegal animal trading and rocketing global demand for palm oil, but there are glimmers of hope, due to the ceaseless diligence of local activists. Urban Myths: David Bowie and Marc Bolan Sky Arts, 9.00pm Luke Treadaway and Jack Whitehall star as the teenage David Bowie and Marc Bolan in this by turns silly and oddly poignant comedy of two icons bonding, bickering and dreaming of stardom while earning a crust decorating their manager’s office. GT Riot Girls Channel 4, 10.00pm A gleefully ribald new prank show from the supremely talented and smart quartet of Grace Campbell, Jen Wakefield, Cam Spence and Sophie Duker, using stunts to highlight the casual sexism and gender inequality in society from manspreading on the tube to contraception. It’s as crude as it is funny and effective. Great Art ITV, 10.45pm; not STV Tim Marlow’s admirably unadorned visual arts series returns to profile a man not unscrutinised over the years, but if this pen portrait fails to add much new to the David Hockney story, it’s an efficient and entertaining primer, focusing on his Royal Academy landscape and portraiture exhibitions of 2012 and 2016. GT The Bourne Supremacy (2004) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Continuing the story of Jason Bourne, this sequel sees the former assassin (Matt Damon) living in Goa with his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente) when a Russian assassin arrives to plunge him back into the deep end of a CIA conspiracy. While this is not quite on a par with the first film, Paul Greengrass’s direction is typically exhilarating, and Joan Allen and Brian Cox lend excellent support. Cocktail (1988) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 11.10pm Tom Cruise plays a tequila-tossing barman in this romantic drama which cashed in on his heart-throb image. After leaving the army, Brian (Cruise) gets a job working in a Manhattan bar. His Martini mentor is Doug (Bryan Brown), who soon teaches him the tricks of the trade, but when the pair fall out over a girl, Brian heads for the Caribbean. It’s a bland concoction but strangely agreeable. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) ★★★★☆ Film4, 11.15pm This startling debut by Marielle Heller shows the funny side of a teenager’s explorations into her sexuality as a 15-year-old wannabe cartoonist Minnie (Bel Powley) seduces her mother’s 35-year-old boyfriend Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård). Heller’s nimble direction and clever script ensure that the film never paints either Minnie or Monroe entirely as victim or predator. Friday 11 May Thure Lindhardt and Sofia Helin in The Bridge Credit: BBC The Bridge BBC Two, 9.00pm With the exception perhaps of Wallander, of all the Scandi-noir characters that we’ve seen in recent years it is The Bridge’s Saga Norén (Sofia Helin), a committed Malmö detective with a level of social dysfunction that implies autism, who has burrowed deepest into the hearts of UK viewers. She struggles to cope emotionally with the world around her, but that only makes us like her all the more. When last we saw Saga, at the close of series three two years ago, she had solved another major murder case but stood accused herself of killing her abusive mother. At least she had the consolation of meeting a soulmate of sorts in Henrik Sabroe (Thure Lindhardt), a police colleague from across the Øresund bridge linking Sweden and Denmark, and a man deeply damaged by the murder of his wife and the disappearance of his two young daughters. At the start of this instantly gripping fourth and final series, things are not looking good for Saga as she wakes up in a cold, grey, unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile, Henrik is called to the scene of a particularly grizzly murder in Copenhagen that has a link to the controversial deportation of an Iranian illegal immigrant. Gerard O’Donovan Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist Netflix, from today A bank raid gone wrong, a horrific bomb-collar murder, a cat and mouse hunt by the FBI to track down a former beauty queen turned self-styled criminal. This anticipated documentary picks apart the bizarre story of the so-called “pizza bomber heist” that gripped the city of Erie, Pennsylvania, in 2003. Fifteen years later, the discovery of new evidence suggests that the story could be even more strange. The One Show: NHS Patients Awards Special BBC One, 7.00pm A special edition marking the 70th anniversary of the NHS and celebrating the work of doctors, nurses and medical staff who deliver outstanding care – as nominated by viewers and the Patients Association. Matt Baker and Alex Jones present. BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm Violinist Nicola Benedetti and trumpeter Alison Balsom join presenter Josie D’Arby for the competition’s semi-final, in which five individual category winners – including percussionist Matthew Brett, cellist Maxim Calver and saxophonist Robert Burton – compete for a place in the final. The judges include conductor Jessica Cottis and composer Kerry Andrew. GO Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Krishnan Guru-Murthy reports from the popular tourist resorts of the Dominican Republic, where a UN investigation has uncovered shocking crimes against young people at the hands of sex tourists. Britain’s Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson Channel 5, 8.00pm In the final programme of his excellent series, Tony Robinson recounts the tangled – and entertaining – history of Winchester Cathedral, whose bishops were once among the richest, most influential and worst behaved in Britain – and where one of England’s greatest novelists, Jane Austen, is buried. Portillo’s Hidden History of Britain Channel 5, 9.00pm Bringing his foray to a close, former defence secretary Michael Portillo visits the village of Imber on the Salisbury Plain, which was taken over by the Army in 1943 for use as a wartime training ground and, despite promises to the contrary, still remains in the hands of the military. GO Test Cricket: Ireland v Pakistan Sky Sports Main Event, 11.50pm A historic occasion, this, as Ireland play their first-ever Test match, with Pakistan as the opposition at Malahide Cricket Club. Over the next few years, Ireland will have 60-65 home internationals, including 15 Test matches. Uncapped batsman Imam-ul-Haq, the nephew of former skipper Inzamam, has been named in Pakistan’s squad. Northern Soul (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 11.15pm The nostalgia is potent in this chronicle of the popular northern soul dance halls in the Seventies. The soundtrack is as evocative and wonderful as you might expect, and the drama offers a charming slice of social and cultural Lancashire history. It’s just a shame that the storyline has to follow the same innocent young man led astray/conflict-resolution story arc of nearly every coming-of-age film out there. Buried (2010) ★★★☆☆ BBC One, 11.55pm; N Ireland, 12.25am Ryan Reynolds plays an American truck driver ambushed in Iraq and buried by insurgents in a coffin, with only a phone and a Zippo lighter at his disposal. One might assume the dramatic opportunities for a man in this predicament are finite, but Chris Sparling’s inventive screenplay and Rodrigo Cortés’ direction open up the story beyond the confines of the space in which Reynolds is trapped. The Crying Game (1992) ★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.05am Neil Jordan’s tremendous psychological thriller, set against the backdrop of the Irish Troubles, still contains one of the great cinematic twists. Stephen Rea stars as Provisional IRA volunteer Fergus, who helps to kidnap a British soldier (US actor Forest Whitaker) in order to secure the release of jailed IRA members. However, things go wrong when Fergus begins to form a bond with his prisoner. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
What's on TV tonight: Prince Harry’s Story: Four Royal Weddings, Britain’s Best Home Cook and more
Thursday 3 May Prince Harry’s Story: Four Royal Weddings ITV, 9.00pm The weddings are those of Charles and Lady Diana Spencer, the Prince of Wales and Camilla, William and Kate and now the Prince’s own. And we know what comes after next… the funeral, of his mother, Diana, Princess of Wales. With just over a fortnight to go before Prince Harry and Meghan Markle tie the knot, this documentary looks back over the prince’s life (all 33 years of it) as a royal, charting the journey from a childhood marked by grief, through his active service as a soldier in Afghanistan and later charity work, to what we must hope will be the happiest day of his life, his wedding day, Saturday 19 May. Explored through the usual selection of archive footage, news reports and commentary, the documentary stands out because of its contributors, the net being cast rather wider than usual. So we get to hear from people such as Steve Hoare, guitarist in a band that played at the pub near Highgrove where young Harry enjoyed drinking, as well as singer Geri Horner, Olympian Dame Kelly Holmes, former Royal chef Carolyn Robb and many others. All of these faces help build a picture of how, and why, this prince is regarded with such particular affection. GO Britain’s Best Home Cook BBC One, 8.00pm Here is yet another attempt by the BBC to reproduce the lost magic of The Great British Bake Off. Here Mary Berry is joined by Strictly co-host Claudia Winkleman, chef Dan Doherty and produce expert Chris Bavin for an eight-week live-in contest in which 10 amateur cooks vie for the title of Britain’s best. GO Ambulance BBC One, 9.00pm A machete attack and two shootings keep the West Midlands ambulance service’s specialist trauma team busy on an eventful weekend night shift, while another crew answers a call from a victim of domestic abuse. GO Syria: The World’s War BBC Two, 9.00pm How could peaceful protest spiral into such unspeakable savagery – half a million people killed, millions of lives shattered and so much of Syria in ruins? That’s the question at the heart of Lyse Doucet’s deeply disturbing two-part documentary about the terrible conflict in Syria and the roles other states have played in perpetuating it. Concludes tomorrow. GO Election 2018 BBC One, 11.45pm; NI, 12.15am As the results from English local council elections roll in, Huw Edwards, Laura Kuenssberg and a panel of politicians and pundits discuss the impact on key districts and boroughs. GO Urban Myths: Alice Cooper and Salvador Dali Sky Arts, 9.00pm In probably the best episode of the current run, comedian Noel Fielding plays US rocker Alice Cooper while David Suchet is surrealist artist Salvador Dali in an entertainingly reimagined account of the pair’s bizarre four-day collaboration in New York in 1973 to produce in one of the world’s first holograms. Bonuses include Paul Kaye’s performance as Cooper’s legendary manager, Shep Gordon, and an original score by Richard Hawley and Jarvis Cocker. GO Barry Sky Atlantic, 10.45pm Very few new TV series ever receive such near-universal praise as Bill Hader’s entertaining comedy about a hitman who finds himself badly bitten by the acting bug while out on a job. In this second episode, hitman Barry (Hader) is forced to confront a bitter truth about his day job when acting coach Gene (Henry Winkler) encourages the class to channel their feelings into their work. GO Control (2007) ★★★★☆ AMC, 9.00pm Released one day short of the 27th anniversary of Ian Curtis’s suicide, Anton Corbijn’s homage to the troubled Joy Division frontman is superbly researched and exquisitely executed in black and white. Starring Sam Riley (his first time in a lead role) and Samantha Morton, the film charts Curtis’s rise to fame, his battle with epilepsy, and his eventual demise. It’s a beautiful, but extremely sad tale. For Your Eyes Only (1981) ★★★☆☆ ITV4, 9.00pm In Roger Moore’s fifth Bond film, 007 is sent to recover a communication device which was lost at sea when a British spy ship sank in the Ionian. The transmitter can order attacks from Britain’s submarine missiles, so Bond must reach it before the Soviets do, but he’s distracted by Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet), whose parents were murdered by the KGB. The plot is thin, but the film is rescued somewhat by high-quality stunts. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 9.00pm The first novel in Stieg Larsson’s popular crime series gets the Hollywood treatment via the trusty hands of Fight Club director David Fincher. Rooney Mara is excellent as the tormented computer hacker brought in to help writer Mikael (Daniel Craig) research a book on the wealthy Vanger family, but the flimsiness of Larsson’s whodunit awkwardly shines through. Friday 4 May Friday Night Dinner Channel 4, 10.00pm Simon Bird, Tom Rosenthal, Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig Credit: Mark Johnson/Channel 4 Friday Night Dinner is a one of those sitcoms that you either love or loathe, depending on your appreciation of slapstick and smutty jokes. Whichever camp you are in, the comedy has made it to a fifth series. And for those who do love it, this opening episode sees brothers Adam and Jonny (Simon Bird and Tom Rosenthal) turn up for their standard Friday night dinner, only to discover their parents Martin and Jackie (Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig) enjoying their new hot tub (because it is apparently still the Seventies) and planning Chinese takeaway. That all changes, however, once their hapless neighbour Jim (Mark Heap) decides to leave his dog with them because of he has a hot date. Cue lots of “jokes” about internet food, furtive sex and whether going to the takeaway down the road is “very 1930s”. The excellent cast all do their best – Rosenthal is particularly good at drily delivering the put-downs – but creator Robert Popper’s farce-heavy script requires them to do far too much heavy lifting. By the time Jim appears at the door with dirt-streaked hands and a compulsively giggling lady friend, you may find yourself silently weeping at the clunky agony of it all. SH Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Rania Abouzeid reports from Kabul, where kidnappings are a daily occurrence. Here, Abouzeid explores two cases – one involving a teenager who has been held for nine months – and discovers that there are no easy answers. This is a bleak but important piece of reporting. SH Home from Home BBC One, 9.30pm The ghost of Ever Decreasing Circles continues to haunt this amiable sitcom, although it lacks the dark edge of the Richard Briers hit. Here, a fed-up Neil (Johnny Vegas) throws a party, much to his snobby neighbour Robert’s (Adam James) delight. SH Episodes BBC Two, 10.00pm; Wales, 11.05pm The final series of the acerbic satire of Hollywood has been an absolute delight. And that continues with this episode as Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Bev (Tamsin Greig) discover just how far Matt (Matt LeBlanc) is prepared to go in order to get a co-creator credit. SH High & Dry Channel 4, 10.30pm Marc Wootton’s comedy about a group of plane crash survivors initially seems behind the times given that Lost ended eight years ago. However, stick with it because Wootton is in fine comedy monster mode as air steward Brett. Plus, the whole thing perks up once Vicky Pepperdine arrives as indomitable survivor Harriet. SH Too Fat for Love BBC Three, from 10.00am There’s a touch of the Carrie Bradshaw’s about this film in which vlogger Emma B asks the question: are we [the plus-sized community] too fat for love? To answer that, Emma talks to other plus-sized women, tries out life modelling and attends a sex tips class. The result is an entertaining film that is particularly astute about the way in which society portrays larger people. SH The Jazz Ambassadors BBC Four, 9.00pm This intriguing documentary tells the story of how congressman Adam Clayton Powell Jr convinced President Eisenhower to use jazz artists as cultural ambassadors, sending them on global tours to tackle Soviet propaganda. As the tours progressed, the musicians, including Louis Armstrong, found themselves increasingly conflicted: how could they promote America as the Land of the Free when the US’s Jim Crow segregation laws made them second-class citizens back home? SH Dunkirk (2017) ★★★★★ Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm Director Christopher Nolan (who, bafflingly, is still yet to win an Oscar), takes a novel approach to the Dunkirk evacuation. Told through three separate perspectives, taking place in the air, the sea and on land, the film is a disorientating, dazzling, superbly crafted tribute to their bravery. Tom Hardy, Kenneth Branagh, Mark Rylance and Harry Styles are among the cast. Magic Mike (2012) ★★★★☆ E4, 9.00pm Steven Soderbergh made a surprise decision to tackle the world of male strippers in Tampa, Florida, and exceeded every expectation: it’s one of his most enjoyable movies. Channing Tatum, in a story based on his own pre-Hollywood career, is revelatory – and Soderbergh works similar wonders with young star Alex Pettyfer and the resurgent Matthew McConaughey as the club’s smooth-talking, cowboy-hat-wearing owner. Non-Stop (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Liam Neeson is the dolorous air marshal who spends most of this film bounding up and down the aisle of a hijacked plane with a time-bomb under his arm in a plot so absurd that you can’t help but smile. Every passenger is a suspect, even Julianne Moore’s sweet heart-surgery patient. But Neeson wears the action-hero mantle so comfortably nowadays that you’ll become engrossed. Saturday 5 May Is that your final answer? Jeremy Clarkson takes over as host Credit: ITV Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? ITV, 9.15pm Judith Keppel winning, the Coughing Major cheating, Chris Tarrant smirking – for a brief period at the turn of the century Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? was the hottest programme on TV. One episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers and the show went on to inspire a bestselling novel, Q&A, which in turn became Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s 2008 Oscar-winning film. In truth, the quiz series only left TV screens four years ago, but it’s the heady early years that ITV is clearly hoping to repeat with this new version to commemorate the 20th anniversaryof the programme. So, what can we expect? It will air every night this week, and there’s a new host, Jeremy Clarkson, who’s roaring in to replace Tarrant. The old lifeline favourites – Phone a Friend, Ask the Audience and 50/50 – remain in place, although ITV have confirmed that there will be a fourth – Ask the Host. Contestants will also be allowed to set their own safety net, traditionally £32,000, once they reach question five. But is it possible for this version to capture the public’s imagination in these days of peak TV? One thing is certain: Clarkson has just the right amount of cocky charm to make a go of it as host. Sarah Hughes Happy Tent Tales CBeebies iPlayer,from today The BBC’s preschool series of live-action folk tales continues with five traditional stories presented by Karina O’Malley. There’s Welsh fairy tale The Golden Harp, traditional Scottish fable The Eagle and the Wren, and a lovely take on one of Aesop’s best, The Fox and the Crow. Rugby Union: Army v Navy Sky Sports Arena, 2.45pm Twickenham is the setting as the two Armed Forces compete for the Babcock trophy. Women’s FA Cup Football: Arsenal Women v Chelsea Ladies BBC One, 5.10pm Arsenal Women take on Chelsea Ladies in the final of the FA Cup, which takes place at Wembley Stadium. Fourteen-time winners Arsenal overcame Everton Ladies 2-1 in their semi-final, while Chelsea defeated the holders Manchester City 2-0. This match is a repeat of the 2016 fixture, in which the Gunners emerged victorious 1-0, thanks to Danielle Carter’s early strike. Beatles Night Sky Arts, from 6.00pm Sky Arts celebrates all things Fab Four with films tracing The Beatles from their humble beginnings to the heady heights of becoming the most famous pop band in the world. First up is My Beatles Black Album with Charles Hazlewood, in which the composer creates a mix of solo tracks by members of the band. The Beatles: From Liverpool to San Francisco then charts the band from their days playing in the Cavern Club to their US success. That’s followed by Ben Lewis’s recent The Beatles, Hippies & Hells Angels which looks at the rise and fall of their multimedia arm Apple Corps. SH Britain’s Got Talent ITV, 8.00pm With two golden buzzer acts already through to the live semi-finals, the fourth round of auditions heats up as more hopefuls strive to impress Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm It’s time to uncover Britain’s “Most Regency” town – and if eager Georgette Heyer fans were about to shout Bath, you are wrong. The answer, it turns out, is Cheltenham. Alice Roberts learns about Regency etiquette and uncovers why the pigeon is so important to the spa town. Casualty BBC One, 9.15pm Fans of the long-running medical drama get a treat here as the magnificently icy consultant Connie Beauchamp (Amanda Mealing) returns to work and instantly begins to reassert her authority. Elsewhere, doctor Ethan (George Rainsford) gets a shock when he visits the spot where his brother was murdered. The Great Rameses: New Evidence Revealed Channel 5, 10.10pm Channel 5’s latest series is a pretty straightforward but interesting-enough trawl through Ancient Egyptian history. The series begins with the story of Rameses II, who defeated the Hittites and was subsequently declared a living god by his people. SH Casablanca (1942, b/w) ★★★★★ ITV3, 3.00pm Humphrey Bogart’s Rick runs the American Bar in the eponymous Moroccan city, while Ingrid Bergman is the old flame who forces him to choose between his own heart and the fight against Nazism. Seventy six years on, Michael Curtiz’s Oscar-winning romantic drama is still a film to make the spirit soar; its finely drawn characters, quotable dialogue and haunting music have become iconic. Kajaki (2014) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 10.00pm; N Ireland, 11.00pm This tense film from Paul Katis tells the true story of British soldiers trapped in a mine-laden riverbed in Afghanistan. It not only convinces with its gory effects, but also with the agony each mine inflicts, and the delirium added when each man doses up with morphine: the acting from a uniformly strong ensemble cast, including Game of Thrones’s Mark Stanley, puts you right there. Sex and the City 2 (2010) ★★☆☆☆ ITV, 10.35pm SatC stalwarts will want a bite of this second film from the Big Apple franchise, but New York City is no more as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and friends head to Abu Dhabi. The fashion is outrageous, there’s a gay wedding with a swan, and Liza Minnelli does Beyoncé, but the whole thing is culturally insensitive and the women morph into cartoon characters. Turn off your brain and enjoy spending time with these old friends. Sunday 6 May Benoit Blin, Tom Allen, Liam Charles and Cherish Finden. Credit: Channel 4 Bake Off: The Professionals Channel 4, 8.00pm Completing the trifecta of Great British Bake Off shows that have switched from the BBC to Channel 4 is this competition for professional pâtissiers, formerly called Crème de la Crème. The six-part contest has wisely retained judges Benoit Blin and Cherish Finden, and hired new hosts in comedian Tom Allen and newcomer Liam Charles, who appeared in last year’s Bake Off. The format sees 12 teams of two pastry chefs compete in confectionery wars, beginning with the first half dozen. They’re tasked with making 24 tartes aux fruits and 24 tartes conversations [a sort of French Bakewell tart] followed by a show-stopping edible structure based on a Black Forest gâteau. The tension spikes as temperatures rise inside Firle Place in East Sussex, where it’s filmed – sweltering heat leads to high drama when contestants’ chocolate sculptures look in danger of toppling over. The appeal of the contest is in the staggering quality of the complicated pastries and edible works of art that the chefs turn out, which understandably knock the offerings of Bake Off’s amateurs into a cocked hat. And judges Blin and Finden are as theatrical as they are hard to please. This results in a scrumptious hour of food fetishism. Vicki Power Premier League Football: Chelsea v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 3.30pm Having won their last four games, Chelsea go into this match against third-placed Liverpool in good form. The Blues’ defence will have to be at its best, though: in Mohamed Salah, Liverpool have the most dangerous attacker in the league, and he’ll relish the opportunity to score against the club that sold him to Roma in 2016. When these sides met at Anfield, an 85th-minute goal from Willian ensured Chelsea salvaged a 1-1 draw. The Big Painting Challenge BBC One, 6.00pm It’s the final of this uplifting painting contest for amateurs, and the quartet of finalists relocate to Chatham Dockyards, where they must paint self-portraits. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm The arrival of the circus to Corfu provides the magic to bring Louisa (Keeley Hawes) and the recently separated Spiro (Alexis Georgoulis) ever closer in an emotional final episode of this beguiling drama. In fact, all of the Durrells have relationship upheavals, teeing up the action nicely for a fourth series. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Wilkie Collins’s Gothic thriller continues to compel in this fresh adaptation. In the penultimate episode, the women continue to suffer – clued-up Marian (Jessie Buckley) still has fever, rendering her unable to save her clueless half-sister Laura (Olivia Vinall) from the big twist we all know is coming. Ballet’s Dark Knight: Sir Kenneth MacMillan BBC Four, 9.00pm Darcey Bussell and Monica Mason are among the ballet stars who pay tribute to the choreographer Kenneth MacMillan in this excellent new biopic. Bussell, who worked with him at the age of 19, recalls how hard he pushed his dancers: “Nothing was ever good enough.” With contributions from MacMillan’s widow, Australian artist Deborah Williams, the documentary celebrates how the former artistic director of the Royal Ballet transformed ballet from polite pirouetting to a gritty, sexy art form. Michael Clark’s To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song BBC Four, 10.00pm Filmed at the Barbican in 2017, maverick choreographer Michael Clark’s acclaimed To a Simple, Rock ’N’ Roll: Song is a mesmerising three-act piece in which he pays tribute to his greatest influences: punk music, Erik Satie and David Bowie. It is introduced here by Jarvis Cocker. VP Walter Presents: Tabula Rasa Channel 4, 10.15pm Belgium gives the Nordic lands a run for their money with another top-notch TV thriller. This nine-parter follows Mie D’Haeze (Veerle Baetens), an amnesiac psychiatric patient who finds she’s been implicated in a missing persons case. Her disturbed mind makes sorting the truth from fantasy virtually impossible. VP Megamind (2010) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 2.30pm DreamWorks’ fun tale of a Mekon-like, inept baddie is weird and witty. Directed by Tom McGrath, who was behind Madagascar, Will Ferrell leads voice duties, with funny turns from David Cross as his deputy, Minion, and Brad Pitt as his vain, buff, Aryan nemesis, the perpetually victorious Metro Man. An amusing quirk of Megamind’s is his affected pronunciation – he pronounces Metro City to rhyme with atrocity. The Boxtrolls (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 2.50pm There’s a cheerfully grotesque streak to this Oscar-winning stop-motion animation from the makers of Coraline and ParaNorman. In the town of Cheesebridge, a human boy raised by boxtrolls – trash-collecting creatures who live under the sewers wearing cardboard boxes – vows to save them from a villainous pest exterminator. It’s an endearing set-up and the carnival feel should please both adults and children. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 6.10pm The denouement to Peter Jackson’s grandiose adaptation of JRR Tolkien’s epic is the one that scooped an Oscar. Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) arrive at Mount Doom to destroy the Ring, both helped and hindered by the loathsome Gollum. Jackson’s only misjudgement is that the film meanders on for around half an hour after the real action is over. Bank Holiday Monday Peter Kay and Sian Gibson Credit: BBC Peter Kay’s Car Share Unscripted BBC One, 10.00pm The emergence of this improvised episode and the official climax to Peter Kay’s sitcom (airing next Bank Holiday Monday) is a treat for all sorts of reasons. Firstly, it would seem to allay concerns prompted by the comedian’s sudden cancellation of an extensive stand-up tour late last year. Secondly, it may offer closure to the many viewers left distraught by the cliffhanger ending to the second series, which saw straight-talking, outwardly stern John (Kay) fail to respond to the declaration of love proffered by co-worker and unsinkable romantic Kayleigh (Sian Gibson). And thirdly, it will mean one more hour in the company of these two beautifully drawn characters who felt like old friends from the moment they first appeared on our screens in 2015. This opening salvo sees Kay and Gibson ad-libbing in character, attempting to corpse each other with a ruthless lack of professionalism as John and Kayleigh drive home on their daily commute in John’s Fiat 500, their only company being the cheesy oldies radio station Forever FM. Don’t expect resolutions yet; instead, sit back and enjoy two fine performers rustling comic magic up out of thin air. Gabriel Tate The £100k Drop Channel 4, 4.00pm It has a new teatime slot and a 10th of the previous prize money, but Davina McCall is still in situ for this entertaining game show of general knowledge and playing the odds. Tenko True Entertainment, 6.00pm The classic BBC drama set in a Japanese POW camp for British, Dutch and Australian women interned after the fall of Singapore in 1942 is being aired every weeknight at 6.00pm. It’s unflinching in its explorations of friendship, sexuality and the degradations of war. Danceworks: The Dying Swan BBC Four, 7.30pm Beginning four consecutive nights of films exploring the world of British dance today, former Royal Ballet principal Zenaida Yanowsky explores the physical toll of her career as she attempts one final post-surgery comeback. Dispatches: Britain’s Benefits Crisis Channel 4, 7.30pm Morland Sanders investigates the Government’s roll-out of the Universal Credit scheme. It is ostensibly aimed at simplifying the benefits system but instead it is dogged by controversy, cuts to provisions and administrative glitches. ATP Masters Tennis: The Mutua Madrid Open Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm It’s the opening day of play in the clay-court tournament at the Caja Magica, where world number one and home favourite Rafael Nadal – in formidable form – is the event’s reigning champion. The Woman in White BBC One, 9.00pm Fiona Seres’s impressively sustained exploration of brutal, brittle masculinity and the stout resistance of their intended victims reaches a gripping climax as Lura (Olivia Vinall) and Marian (Jessie Buckley) strike back against the devious Fosco (Riccardo Scamarcio) and thuggish Sir Percival (Dougray Scott). The Road to Palmyra BBC Four, 9.00pm Ebullient historian Dan Cruickshank and wry photographer Don McCullin make an odd couple, yet their journey through a ravaged Syria casts new light on both the conflict as well as what the material and spiritual costs will be for future generations. GT Genderquake Channel 4, 9.00pm This gimmicky but occasionally enlightening TV experiment puts 11 strangers with different attitudes towards gender and sexuality in a house together for a week: prejudices are aired, preconceptions challenged and romances kindled. It concludes on Tuesday with further revelations and realisations, as well as a debate on the issues raised at 10.00pm. GT Forrest Gump (1994) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 9.00pm Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama is full of spirit – even if, at times, it’s slightly saccharine. Forrest (Tom Hanks) is a simpleton with a heart of gold, who, ever true to the homely advice of his mother (Sally Field) is reflecting on his improbable life as a Vietnam War hero, table-tennis champion and accidental millionaire. Hanks, depending on your sentimentality threshold, may prove to be adorable. Notting Hill (1999) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.20pm This is the second of Richard Curtis’s romcoms, after Four Weddings and a Funeral, about bumbling good eggs and frightfully pretty girls. Hugh Grant plays a London bookseller who attracts the attention of a film star (Julia Roberts) – it’s amusing, in particular when Grant’s character ineptly poses as a journalist from Horse & Hound magazine at a press junket for her sci-fi movie. Papillon (1973) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 11.00pm Based on the autobiography of petty criminal Henri Charrière – nicknamed Papillon because of his butterfly tattoo – this powerful prison drama is set in the infamous French penal colony Devil’s Island. Steve McQueen impressively stars as the title character, desperate to escape Devil’s Island’s gruesome brutality. Dustin Hoffman gives memorable support as his friend, the small-time fraudster Louis Dega. Tuesday 8 May Inspirational: Kate Humble with Emma and some alpacas Credit: BBC Back to the Land with Kate Humble BBC Two, 7.00pm There aren’t many TV shows that merit the word “inspirational” but Kate Humble’s series looking at the lives and work of entrepreneurial countryside pioneers around the UK does. Here she returns for another 12-part run, beginning by visiting four new start-ups in Cornwall which were prompted by a perceived gap in the market. Her clear favourites – she returns again and again to check on their progress – are free-diving seaweed harvesters Caro and Tim. This sustainability-aware pair were looking to work locally when they realised that, despite seaweed becoming more fashionable as a cooking ingredient, no one was harvesting the plentiful supply in the sea near them. Much hard work and ingenuity later, it’s an unlikely business idea that looks set to be a winner. Humble also meets a couple who reversed their farm’s declining fortunes by taking a leap of faith into free-range duck breeding, two best friends who supply native-flower bouquets to Cornwall’s booming high-end wedding market and a lavishly bearded brewer whose wild foraging in the local fields and hedgerows supplies the ingredients for his uniquely flavoured “wild” beers. Gerard O’Donovan Danceworks: Street to Stage BBC Four, 7.30pm Rising British star Dickson Mbi displays a range of talents in this film following him and his hip-hop popping team, Fiya House, competing in an international street dance competition. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm The Eurovision song contest circus kicks off tonight in Lisbon with the first semi-final featuring 19 countries (including Ireland) of the record-equalling 43 competing this year. UK fans have to wait for Saturday’s Grand Final to hear SuRie sing our entry, Storm. The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds Channel 4, 8.00pm The first in a two-part special exploring how children learn the difference between right and wrong, as another class of five-year-olds are challenged to decide if it’s OK to cheat and what to do when someone tells you a secret. Abandoned Engineering Yesterday, 8.00pm The series exploring mysterious abandoned buildings returns for a second series. This week, a vast labyrinth of crumbling tunnels, bunkers and towers in northern Poland, once a cutting-edge oil refinery, reveals its former role as a pivotal part of Hitler’s war machine. GO The Split BBC One, 9.00pm Abi Morgan’s legal drama hurries on apace with further revelations drawing us deeper into the lives of Hannah (Nicola Walker) and her dysfunctional family of lawyers. Tonight, things get heated in a case involving frozen embryos, and matriarch Ruth (Deborah Findlay) is evasive over finances. Later Live: with Jools Holland BBC Two, 10.00pm Returning for a 52nd series, Jools Holland welcomes more acts to play live in studio. Among them are Snow Patrol, Plan B, Bettye Lavette, and rising stars Shame and Jade Bird. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle: The Engagement Interview BBC One, 11.40pm; NI/Wales, 12.05am; Scot, 12.45am In case you won’t catch the endless clips in royal wedding-related programming over the next 10 days, here’s a repeat of the interview the couple gave Mishal Husain at Kensington Palace last year on the day they announced their engagement. GO My Cousin Rachel (2017) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 2.30pm and 11.30pm “Did she? Didn’t she?” ponders stricken hero Philip Ashley about the titular character and the possible murder of her husband/his cousin. This is based on Daphne du Maurier’s 1951 novel, but there was also a film version in 1952, an Eighties BBC version, on radio, and on the stage. Young Philip, the heir to a fortune, is played in Roger Michell’s stylish but sexless adaptation by a rakish Sam Claflin. Hot Fuzz (2007) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s follow-up to the cult comedy-horror Shaun of the Dead (and the second chapter in the Cornetto Trilogy) reunites Pegg with Nick Frost in the story of two policemen who uncover a conspiracy in a Somerset village. Timothy Dalton is a sinister triumph as a millionaire baddy. Sharp, funny and with explosive action scenes, it’s a very British action-comedy that does everything it should. Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice? (1969) ★★★☆☆ Talking Pictures TV, 9.00pm This is the third in a trilogy of Robert Aldrich-produced films (following What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte). It also features two female leads – this time, an Arizona widow (Geraldine Page) hires housekeepers to con them out of their money before murdering them, but Ruth Gordon’s Alice Dimmock isn’t easily fooled. Wednesday 9 May Healthy outlook: Fearnley-Whittingstall with volunteer Janet Credit: BBC Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall BBC One, 9.00pm; Scotland, 10.45pm He tried to get Newcastle exercising together and demonstrated to the unconvinced in Bristol just how much sugar there is in a smoothie, now, in this final episode, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall faces his toughest test of all – he heading to the Tory Party Conference to speak about obesity and attempting to get an audience with Health Minister Jeremy Hunt. But can he convince the ministers – and the hard-to-pin-down Hunt – that they need to do more to combat both national awareness of what we eat and the country’s fitness levels? First, he checks in with some of those who have signed up for the Newcastle Can scheme; heads out for a surfing lesson with Janet, a willing but struggling participant; trials a weight-loss experiment at the GP’s surgery and looks at the way in which marketing affects our understanding of food. Whether or not he manages to replicate the impact that Jamie Oliver had on the government during his school dinners campaign remains to be seen, but this impassioned series will surely have convinced the UK’s couch potatoes that it’s time to embrace the sunnier weather and start walking. Sarah Hughes DanceWorks: Choreographing History BBC Four, 7.30pm “With contemporary dance we don’t inherit ready-made stories, so we have to make up our own,” says choreographer Shobana Jeyasingh in this fascinating film. Jeyasingh’s latest work, Contagion, takes the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic as its subject, and this documentary follows her as she translates her research into a haunting, beautiful piece of work. The Secret Life of the Zoo Channel 4, 8.00pm The fallout from orangutan Emma’s pregnancy continues this week as the new mother pushes away the older child to raise the baby, leaving the zoo staff increasingly worried as to how the abandoned youth will cope. Mystery of the Lost Paintings Sky Arts, 8.00pm This episode examines the 1958 fire at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, which destroyed two of Monet’s famous Water Lily paintings, before attempting to digitally reconstruct one of the damaged works. Love in the Countryside BBC Two, 9.00pm Everything moves up a gear as lovelorn dairy farmers Pete and Ed invite their three prospective partners over for a weekend. Cue early issues as fiftysomethings Helen and Caroline struggle in the face of thirtysomething Frannie’s more obvious assets. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm It’s an emotional finale at the Birmingham Women’s Hospital as we meet Lauren and Rachel, who are preparing for a second child, and Urwah and Nadhia, who are about to meet their fifth. Meanwhile, Laura and Paul, friends turned lovers, have nine kids between them and another on the way. Harry & Meghan: A Love Story Sky One, 9.00pm Bafta-winning film-maker Toby Sculthorp turns his eye to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, talking to close friends and former head of the British Army, Richard Dannatt. SH Tortured By Mum and Dad: The Turpin 13 Channel 5, 10.00pm When 13 children were discovered shackled and starved by their parents, David and Louise Turpin earlier this year, it made global headlines. This documentary returns to the case, asking how the pair managed to hide their terrible secret for so long. A Walk in the Woods (2015) ★★☆☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm Robert Redford turns Bill Bryson’s elegant travelogue about his middle-aged attempt on the Appalachian Trail – a 2,000-mile trek through the eastern United States – into a sloppy sitcom. The great American outdoors, however, are shot in picturesque fashion. Nick Nolte and Emma Thompson star as Bryson’s travelling partners, who at least reveal that the human condition is no walk in the park. Scream (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky One, 10.00pm Wes Craven rebooted the teenage-horror genre with Scream. It’s gory, but clever and funny, too, particularly in its own self-awareness: the characters talk constantly about being in a slasher movie. And Craven wrong-foots us with a terrific opening sequence that gleefully breaks the rules of film-making. Courteney Cox and Neve Campbell star. The sequel Scream 2 is on Friday at 11.00pm. I Love You, Man (2009) ★★★★☆ 5STAR, 11.00pm Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. Thursday 10 May Michael C Hall (centre) in Safe Credit: Netflix Safe Netflix, from today For the man who played serial-killing forensics expert Dexter and funeral director David in Six Feet Under, it’s fitting that we first encounter Michael C Hall’s latest deeply flawed antihero, Tom Delaney, by his wife’s grave in this opening set-piece of his new drama. This UK-set eight-parter then skips forward six years, with Tom (Hall’s English accent is pretty passable) managing two teenage daughters, his work as a paediatric surgeon and life in a “safe” gated community. What becomes rapidly clear is that his neighbours are also nursing guilty secrets and haunted by past failures: from best mate Marc Warren and Amanda Abbingdon’s dogged detective to Nigel Lindsay’s jovial life-and-soul type. Then Tom’s oldest daughter goes missing during a house party, and skeletons tumble out of closets in an enjoyably twist-riddled affair. The first collaboration between Safe’s co-creators, bestselling novelist Harlan Coben and screenwriter Danny Brocklehurst (Accused; Ordinary Lies; Come Home), marries the former’s love of a cliffhanger and skill with fast-paced narrative with the latter’s facility for character and emotional insight. Gabriel Tate PGA Tour Golf: The Players Championship Sky Sports the Players, 12.30pm It’s day one of the tournament widely regarded as the unofficial fifth Major, held at TPC Sawgrass in Florida. Last year, Kim Si-Woo, at 21, became the youngest champion in Players history and it was much deserved: his was a nerveless display that belied his young age. Danceworks: Prejudice and Passion BBC Four, 7.30pm Choreographer Carlos Pons Guerra invites the cameras into his latest production for children at the Birmingham Rep, a work challenging assumptions of gender and identity with its story of two male penguins raising a chick together. Premier League Football: West Ham United v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 7.30pm Looking to secure their safety, relegation-threatened West Ham United welcome Manchester United to the Olympic Stadium. The Hammers will need to banish the memories of their last match against Man United, when Anthony Martial, Paul Pogba and a brace from Romelu Lukaku gave Jose Mourinho’s side a 4-0 win. Eurovision Song Contest 2018 BBC Four, 8.00pm Rylan Clark-Neal and Scott Mills are joined by British Eurovision hopeful SuRie to introduce coverage of the second semi-final from Lisbon, with 10 of the 18 featured acts making it to Saturday’s final. Food Unwrapped: China Special Channel 4, 8.00pm Jimmy Doherty and his team explore artisanal and commercial methods of production for garlic, noodles, soy sauce and fortune cookies. Red Ape: Saving the Orangutan BBC Two, 9.00pm This alarming and frequently harrowing documentary makes direct connections between Borneo’s plummeting orangutan population, the boom in illegal animal trading and rocketing global demand for palm oil, but there are glimmers of hope, due to the ceaseless diligence of local activists. Urban Myths: David Bowie and Marc Bolan Sky Arts, 9.00pm Luke Treadaway and Jack Whitehall star as the teenage David Bowie and Marc Bolan in this by turns silly and oddly poignant comedy of two icons bonding, bickering and dreaming of stardom while earning a crust decorating their manager’s office. GT Riot Girls Channel 4, 10.00pm A gleefully ribald new prank show from the supremely talented and smart quartet of Grace Campbell, Jen Wakefield, Cam Spence and Sophie Duker, using stunts to highlight the casual sexism and gender inequality in society from manspreading on the tube to contraception. It’s as crude as it is funny and effective. Great Art ITV, 10.45pm; not STV Tim Marlow’s admirably unadorned visual arts series returns to profile a man not unscrutinised over the years, but if this pen portrait fails to add much new to the David Hockney story, it’s an efficient and entertaining primer, focusing on his Royal Academy landscape and portraiture exhibitions of 2012 and 2016. GT The Bourne Supremacy (2004) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Continuing the story of Jason Bourne, this sequel sees the former assassin (Matt Damon) living in Goa with his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente) when a Russian assassin arrives to plunge him back into the deep end of a CIA conspiracy. While this is not quite on a par with the first film, Paul Greengrass’s direction is typically exhilarating, and Joan Allen and Brian Cox lend excellent support. Cocktail (1988) ★★★☆☆ Sony Movie Channel, 11.10pm Tom Cruise plays a tequila-tossing barman in this romantic drama which cashed in on his heart-throb image. After leaving the army, Brian (Cruise) gets a job working in a Manhattan bar. His Martini mentor is Doug (Bryan Brown), who soon teaches him the tricks of the trade, but when the pair fall out over a girl, Brian heads for the Caribbean. It’s a bland concoction but strangely agreeable. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) ★★★★☆ Film4, 11.15pm This startling debut by Marielle Heller shows the funny side of a teenager’s explorations into her sexuality as a 15-year-old wannabe cartoonist Minnie (Bel Powley) seduces her mother’s 35-year-old boyfriend Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård). Heller’s nimble direction and clever script ensure that the film never paints either Minnie or Monroe entirely as victim or predator. Friday 11 May Thure Lindhardt and Sofia Helin in The Bridge Credit: BBC The Bridge BBC Two, 9.00pm With the exception perhaps of Wallander, of all the Scandi-noir characters that we’ve seen in recent years it is The Bridge’s Saga Norén (Sofia Helin), a committed Malmö detective with a level of social dysfunction that implies autism, who has burrowed deepest into the hearts of UK viewers. She struggles to cope emotionally with the world around her, but that only makes us like her all the more. When last we saw Saga, at the close of series three two years ago, she had solved another major murder case but stood accused herself of killing her abusive mother. At least she had the consolation of meeting a soulmate of sorts in Henrik Sabroe (Thure Lindhardt), a police colleague from across the Øresund bridge linking Sweden and Denmark, and a man deeply damaged by the murder of his wife and the disappearance of his two young daughters. At the start of this instantly gripping fourth and final series, things are not looking good for Saga as she wakes up in a cold, grey, unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile, Henrik is called to the scene of a particularly grizzly murder in Copenhagen that has a link to the controversial deportation of an Iranian illegal immigrant. Gerard O’Donovan Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist Netflix, from today A bank raid gone wrong, a horrific bomb-collar murder, a cat and mouse hunt by the FBI to track down a former beauty queen turned self-styled criminal. This anticipated documentary picks apart the bizarre story of the so-called “pizza bomber heist” that gripped the city of Erie, Pennsylvania, in 2003. Fifteen years later, the discovery of new evidence suggests that the story could be even more strange. The One Show: NHS Patients Awards Special BBC One, 7.00pm A special edition marking the 70th anniversary of the NHS and celebrating the work of doctors, nurses and medical staff who deliver outstanding care – as nominated by viewers and the Patients Association. Matt Baker and Alex Jones present. BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm Violinist Nicola Benedetti and trumpeter Alison Balsom join presenter Josie D’Arby for the competition’s semi-final, in which five individual category winners – including percussionist Matthew Brett, cellist Maxim Calver and saxophonist Robert Burton – compete for a place in the final. The judges include conductor Jessica Cottis and composer Kerry Andrew. GO Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Krishnan Guru-Murthy reports from the popular tourist resorts of the Dominican Republic, where a UN investigation has uncovered shocking crimes against young people at the hands of sex tourists. Britain’s Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson Channel 5, 8.00pm In the final programme of his excellent series, Tony Robinson recounts the tangled – and entertaining – history of Winchester Cathedral, whose bishops were once among the richest, most influential and worst behaved in Britain – and where one of England’s greatest novelists, Jane Austen, is buried. Portillo’s Hidden History of Britain Channel 5, 9.00pm Bringing his foray to a close, former defence secretary Michael Portillo visits the village of Imber on the Salisbury Plain, which was taken over by the Army in 1943 for use as a wartime training ground and, despite promises to the contrary, still remains in the hands of the military. GO Test Cricket: Ireland v Pakistan Sky Sports Main Event, 11.50pm A historic occasion, this, as Ireland play their first-ever Test match, with Pakistan as the opposition at Malahide Cricket Club. Over the next few years, Ireland will have 60-65 home internationals, including 15 Test matches. Uncapped batsman Imam-ul-Haq, the nephew of former skipper Inzamam, has been named in Pakistan’s squad. Northern Soul (2014) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 11.15pm The nostalgia is potent in this chronicle of the popular northern soul dance halls in the Seventies. The soundtrack is as evocative and wonderful as you might expect, and the drama offers a charming slice of social and cultural Lancashire history. It’s just a shame that the storyline has to follow the same innocent young man led astray/conflict-resolution story arc of nearly every coming-of-age film out there. Buried (2010) ★★★☆☆ BBC One, 11.55pm; N Ireland, 12.25am Ryan Reynolds plays an American truck driver ambushed in Iraq and buried by insurgents in a coffin, with only a phone and a Zippo lighter at his disposal. One might assume the dramatic opportunities for a man in this predicament are finite, but Chris Sparling’s inventive screenplay and Rodrigo Cortés’ direction open up the story beyond the confines of the space in which Reynolds is trapped. The Crying Game (1992) ★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.05am Neil Jordan’s tremendous psychological thriller, set against the backdrop of the Irish Troubles, still contains one of the great cinematic twists. Stephen Rea stars as Provisional IRA volunteer Fergus, who helps to kidnap a British soldier (US actor Forest Whitaker) in order to secure the release of jailed IRA members. However, things go wrong when Fergus begins to form a bond with his prisoner. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Women’s Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Ricoh Arena, Coventry, Britain - March 16, 2018 England's Danielle Waterman in action with Ireland's Megan Williams and Niamh Briggs Action Images/John Sibley
Women’s Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland
FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Women’s Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Ricoh Arena, Coventry, Britain - March 16, 2018 England's Danielle Waterman in action with Ireland's Megan Williams and Niamh Briggs Action Images/John Sibley
Rugby Union - Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain - March 17, 2018 England’s George Kruis in action with Ireland’s Iain Henderson REUTERS/Toby Melville
Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland
Rugby Union - Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain - March 17, 2018 England’s George Kruis in action with Ireland’s Iain Henderson REUTERS/Toby Melville
FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain - March 17, 2018 England's Dylan Hartley looks dejected at the end of the match Action Images via Reuters/Andrew Boyers/File Photo
FILE PHOTO: Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland
FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain - March 17, 2018 England's Dylan Hartley looks dejected at the end of the match Action Images via Reuters/Andrew Boyers/File Photo
FILE PHOTO: England's Dylan Hartley, sings the national anthem before the Rugby Union Six Nations Championship match between England and Ireland at Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain, March 17, 2018. REUTERS/Toby Melville/File Photo
FILE PHOTO: England's Dylan Hartley, sings the national anthem before the Rugby Union Six Nations Championship match between England and Ireland at Twickenham Stadium, London
FILE PHOTO: England's Dylan Hartley, sings the national anthem before the Rugby Union Six Nations Championship match between England and Ireland at Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain, March 17, 2018. REUTERS/Toby Melville/File Photo
FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Rugby Test - Ireland v South Africa - Johannesburg South Africa - 18/06/16. South Africa's Warren Whiteley (C) scores a try . REUTERS/Siphiwe Sibeko Picture Supplied by Action Images/File Photo
FILE PHOTO: Ireland v South Africa - Rugby Test
FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Rugby Test - Ireland v South Africa - Johannesburg South Africa - 18/06/16. South Africa's Warren Whiteley (C) scores a try . REUTERS/Siphiwe Sibeko Picture Supplied by Action Images/File Photo
FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Rugby Test - Ireland v South Africa - Johannesburg South Africa - 18/06/16. South Africa's Warren Whiteley (C) scores a try . REUTERS/Siphiwe Sibeko Picture Supplied by Action Images/File Photo
FILE PHOTO: Ireland v South Africa - Rugby Test
FILE PHOTO: Rugby Union - Rugby Test - Ireland v South Africa - Johannesburg South Africa - 18/06/16. South Africa's Warren Whiteley (C) scores a try . REUTERS/Siphiwe Sibeko Picture Supplied by Action Images/File Photo
<p>Steaming scrum: The British & Irish Lions and Maori All Blacks engage during a match at Rotorua International Stadium in Rotorua, New Zealand, June 17, 2017.<br>All players in the Maori All Blacks must have a confirmed Maori whakapapa, or genealogy. The British & Irish Lions is a composite squad formed every year by players from England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland, selected by the coach who oversees the tour. The squad tours every four years through one of the southern hemisphere’s big three rugby union nations: Australia, New Zealand and South Africa. The Rotorua match was played in wet conditions and ended with a 10-32 win for the Lions. (Photo: Stephen McCarthy/SportsFile) </p>
Sports, second prize singles: Stephen McCarthy, Ireland

Steaming scrum: The British & Irish Lions and Maori All Blacks engage during a match at Rotorua International Stadium in Rotorua, New Zealand, June 17, 2017.
All players in the Maori All Blacks must have a confirmed Maori whakapapa, or genealogy. The British & Irish Lions is a composite squad formed every year by players from England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland, selected by the coach who oversees the tour. The squad tours every four years through one of the southern hemisphere’s big three rugby union nations: Australia, New Zealand and South Africa. The Rotorua match was played in wet conditions and ended with a 10-32 win for the Lions. (Photo: Stephen McCarthy/SportsFile)

Rugby Union - Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain - March 17, 2018 England’s Dylan Hartley looks dejected at the end of the match Action Images via Reuters/Andrew Boyers
Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland
Rugby Union - Six Nations Championship - England vs Ireland - Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain - March 17, 2018 England’s Dylan Hartley looks dejected at the end of the match Action Images via Reuters/Andrew Boyers
Saracens&#39; coach from Northern Ireland Mark McCall, whose team crushed Northampton in the English Premiership, is seen here ahead of the European Rugby Union Champions Cup match between Clermont and Saracens at The Michelin Stadium in December, 2017
Saracens' coach from Northern Ireland Mark McCall, whose team crushed Northampton in the English Premiership, is seen here ahead of the European Rugby Union Champions Cup match between Clermont and Saracens at The Michelin Stadium in December, 2017
Saracens' coach from Northern Ireland Mark McCall, whose team crushed Northampton in the English Premiership, is seen here ahead of the European Rugby Union Champions Cup match between Clermont and Saracens at The Michelin Stadium in December, 2017
Saracens&#39; coach from Northern Ireland Mark McCall, whose team crushed Northampton in the English Premiership, is seen here ahead of the European Rugby Union Champions Cup match between Clermont and Saracens at The Michelin Stadium in December, 2017
Saracens' coach from Northern Ireland Mark McCall, whose team crushed Northampton in the English Premiership, is seen here ahead of the European Rugby Union Champions Cup match between Clermont and Saracens at The Michelin Stadium in December, 2017
Saracens' coach from Northern Ireland Mark McCall, whose team crushed Northampton in the English Premiership, is seen here ahead of the European Rugby Union Champions Cup match between Clermont and Saracens at The Michelin Stadium in December, 2017
Saracens&#39; coach from Northern Ireland Mark McCall, whose team crushed Northampton in the English Premiership, is seen here ahead of the European Rugby Union Champions Cup match between Clermont and Saracens at The Michelin Stadium in December, 2017 (AFP Photo/THIERRY ZOCCOLAN)
Saracens' coach from Northern Ireland Mark McCall, whose team crushed Northampton in the English Premiership, is seen here ahead of the European Rugby Union Champions Cup match between Clermont and Saracens at The Michelin Stadium in December, 2017
Saracens' coach from Northern Ireland Mark McCall, whose team crushed Northampton in the English Premiership, is seen here ahead of the European Rugby Union Champions Cup match between Clermont and Saracens at The Michelin Stadium in December, 2017 (AFP Photo/THIERRY ZOCCOLAN)
Friday 6 April The City & the City BBC Two, 9.00pm; Northern Ireland, 9.30pm “I knew there was another city I dare not see… Just on the other side of where I was supposed to look.” So states Inspector Tyador Borlú (David Morrissey) midway through this engrossing adaptation of China Miéville’s Borgesian novel, which achieves the apparently impossible by bringing a dense and clever book to brilliant, atmospheric life. Borlú, a detective with the Extreme Crime Squad in the rundown vaguely Eastern European city of Beszul, is handed the task of solving the murder of a foreign student. So far, so standard, but what unfolds turns out to be anything but as scriptwriter Tony Grisoni (Red Riding) expertly captures Miéville’s vision of a world in which a city is divided not by a wall or barricade, but by blurred realities the populace is trained from birth not to see. Thus the two cities of Beszul and Ul Qoma coexist in the same space but without acknowledging each other, the town hall their only shared space. To look directly on the other city is to commit “Breach”, bringing about the wrath of the secret police. Grisoni and director Tom Shankland build the tension inexorably as Borlú’s world is slowly but surely upended. An absolute treat. Sarah Hughes Sounds Like Friday Night BBC One, 7.30pm The BBC’s music TV revival didn’t make a huge splash with its first series but it’s still worth checking out, if only because co-host and Radio 1Xtra presenter Dotty is such a likeable presence. Tonight, she’s on the road, while Greg James anchors from the studio. Professor Green, Snow Patrol and Years & Years perform. Have I Got News for You BBC One, 9.30pm The satirical quiz show returns for a 55th series, with captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop joined by presenter Steph McGovern and comedian Josh Widdicombe; Jeremy Paxman hosts. The Graham Norton Show BBC One, 10.35pm In an era when the talk show appears tired somehow Graham Norton manages to keep the format enjoyable. Tonight’s episode, the first in a new series, sees husband-and-wife team Emily Blunt and John Krasinski discuss their horror A Quiet Place. Front Row Late BBC Two, 11.05pm; N Ireland, 11.35pm Following the kerfuffle over its poorly received first series, the arts show returns with a rejigged format and Mary Beard in the presenter’s chair. Informed debate is promised, although Beard has said that she won’t simply replicate the notoriously combative Newsnight Review. SH BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm The contest kicks off at the Royal Birmingham Conservatoire’s new concert hall. Presenter Josie d’Arby is joined by 1998 finalist Alison Balsom as we meet the final five: violinists Elodie Chousmer-Howelles and Stephanie Childress, double bassist Will Duerden, guitarist Torrin Williams and cellist Maxim Calver. The judges are double bassist Leon Bosch, classical guitarist Miloš Karadaglić, violinist and previous Young Musician of the Year winner, Jennifer Pike. Composer Kerry Andrew and the contestants will perform works by Bach, Brahms and Stravinsky. The Nineties Sky Arts, 9.00pm There’s nothing like seeing the decade you came of age in co-opted for nostalgic TV to make you feel old, but for those who can bear seeing their youth dissected Sky Arts at least does it well. Tonight’s second episode continues the focus on the decade’s TV with The Sopranos and Seinfeld under discussion. SH Fury (2014) ★★★★★ 5STAR, 9.00pm David Ayer’s study of the habits and habitats of the American killer male is an astonishing, stirring drama. It’s Germany 1945, and Sgt Don “Wardaddy” Collie (Brad Pitt) and his team are grinding towards Berlin in a battered M4 Sherman tank. There is no rescue mission, just an agonising rumble from one brush with death to the next. The set-piece battles are gripping, and the raw terror of war is blasted home. Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) ★★★★☆ Film4, 9.00pm The best of Richard Curtis and Hugh Grant’s romcoms about awfully nice chaps dithering over frightfully pretty girls. Grant plays bumbling Charles, who, ah, er, can’t tell what’s, um, going on between him and the scrummy Carrie (Andie MacDowell), who he keeps, gosh, bumping into at weddings. It’s aged pretty well and certainly knocks spots off Love, Actually. Lawless (2012) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 12.45am An adaptation of the historical novel The Wettest County in the World, John Hillcoat’s Prohibition-era western follows three brothers (played by Tom Hardy, Shia LaBeouf and Jason Clarke), who do a tidy business distilling and selling illegal moonshine whiskey. It’s an oddly affectionate clan portrait – the violence the brothers mete out is implicitly forgiven – but the period detail is well observed. Saturday 7 April Saturday night fever: Declan Donnelly presents from Orlando Credit: Rex/Shutterstock Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway ITV, 7.00pm It can’t be easy hosting a show as exuberant as Saturday Night Takeaway on your own but Declan Donnelly made a solid if understandably restrained go of it last week. He ensured that the light entertainment series proceeded pretty much as normal in the absence of long-time work partner Ant McPartlin, whose travails were sensibly referenced only in very brief passing (“I’ve got twice the amount of work to do,” Donnelly noted at one point before mock-berating the production crew that “I’ll have to do it myself, like everything else around here this week”). That said, this final episode ups the ante as Donnelly takes the show on the road to the Universal Orlando Resort in Florida. Once there we’re promised a “super-sized” edition featuring stunts, surprises and “extra-special” guests. No word yet as to who those guests will be but expect Donnelly to continue making the best of a difficult situation, buoyed by extra support from Scarlett Moffatt, who is in charge of ensuring that the Place on the Plane winners have a wonderful time, and Stephen Mulhern, who has the possibly less than enviable task of explaining In for a Penny to an American audience. Sarah Hughes Premier League Football: Everton v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 12.30pm Tired, perhaps, from their Champions League quarter-final first leg against Man City, Liverpool face their bitter local rivals Everton at Goodison Park. The home side, who’ve won three of their last six games, haven’t beaten Liverpool since October 2010, when Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta gave them a 2-0 victory. Premiership Rugby Union: Bath v Leicester Tigers Channel 5, 1.30pm Time was when Bath and Leicester were the titans of English rugby. Currently they are fifth and eighth in the league, respectively. In September, Bath claimed a 27-23 win at Welford Road, as they held on for their first away win at Leicester since 2003, ensuring an unhappy return for George Ford against the club he left in the summer. The two sides also met in the Anglo-Welsh Cup at the Recreation Ground in November, where Bath also emerged victorious, beating Leicester 33-31 on that occasion. Premier League Football: Manchester City v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 5.30pm What better way for Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City to clinch the title than by beating second-placed Manchester United at the Etihad Stadium. Sixteen points ahead of them in the table, City have been formidable this season, winning 27 of the 31 league games they’ve played. One of those victories came at Old Trafford, with a goal from Nicolas Otamendi giving City a 2-1 victory when these sides met in December. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm Alice Roberts is our guide for this new six-part series, which sees her search the UK for the places that best sum up an historical era. The first era is Roman Britain, so Roberts heads to Chester, where she abseils down walls, hunkers in caves and uncovers the truth about the city. Casualty BBC One, 8.20pm The medical drama’s storyline about Dylan’s (William Beck) alcoholism continues to be sensitively handled as the medic’s ex-wife Sam (Charlotte Salt) worries about whether she can help him. Meanwhile, Ethan (George Hardy) struggles with his own demons as he realises that a patient is related to his brother’s killer. The Voice UK: Live Final ITV, 8.30pm Every reality TV idea has an allotted shelf life and it’s hard not to feel that musical talent contests have come to the end of their run. For those who disagree, The Voice UK’s grand finale is here and the final four battle it out for public approval. Below the Surface BBC Four, 9.00pm & 9.45pm BBC Four’s latest Scandi drama started off tensely but like its predecessor, Modus, it has gone on to become ever more ludicrous. Now it’s the final two episodes, and Philip Norgaard (Johannes Lassen) faces off against Mark (Jakob Oftebro), the man behind the hostage crisis. Much heartfelt talking follows, although you may end up feeling more sympathetic towards the damaged Mark than the chilly Norgaard. Pearl Jam: Let’s Play Two Sky Arts, 9.00pm When is a music documentary not a music documentary? When it’s also a sports film. This exuberant film, which was made following the Chicago Cubs’ victory in baseball’s World Series in 2016, follows die-hard Cubs fan and Pearl Jam lead singer Eddie Vedder as he cheers on his team during their championship run while also preparing the band for two August shows at the team’s Wrigley Field Stadium. The result is an affectionate portrait of the singer as fan. SH Troy: Fall of a City BBC One, 9.10pm David Farr’s epic series reaches its climax with the arrival of the most famous horse in history. After an uninspiring start, Troy has picked up in recent weeks and the final episode is a well-handled tale of betrayal and death. It’s a curate’s egg of a series, let down by poor casting. SH X-Men (2000) ★★★★☆ Film4, 7.00pm Bryan Singer directs an all-star cast that includes Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen and Halle Berry, in the first of the X-Men franchise. A group of mutants must decide whether to side with Professor Xavier (Stewart) or the evil Magneto (McKellen) in what is a solid opening to the series and which paved the way for plenty of big-budget sequels. This is followed by X-Men 2 and X-Men 3 at 9.00pm and 11.35pm respectively. Legend (2015) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 9.00pm Tom Hardy gives a solid, convincing performance as east London gangster Reggie Kray but his caricatured portrayal of twin brother Ronnie lets him down, and this inconsistency leads to an entertaining though muddled film. Emily Browning, however, gives just the right mix of defiance and despair as Frances Shea, Reggie’s put-upon wife. Watch out for some particularly gory scenes. Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) ★★★☆☆ ITV4, 9.05pm Mel Gibson sports his signature Eighties mullet in the second film of this daft-but-fun action franchise. LAPD officer Riggs (Gibson) teams up once again with his partner Murtaugh (Danny Glover) to track down a band of South African criminals while protecting a painfully frenzied witness (Joe Pesci). Naturally, the pair find themselves drawn into violent action sequences orchestrated by stereotypical bad guys. Sunday 8 April Hostess with the mostest: Catherine Tate presents the awards Credit: ITV The Olivier Awards 2018 ITV, 10.20pm Last year, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child swept the board with nine Olivier Awards, something that looked impossible to top. But then came Lin Manuel Miranda’s blockbuster musical Hamilton, whose West End run has received reviews every bit as rapturous as those from its Broadway debut. The show has a record-breaking 13 nominations, which it is thought will be translated into awards. After being snubbed for Jerusalem, Jez Butterworth will surely be rewarded for his equally magisterial play The Ferryman (its eight nominations include best play and best director for Sam Mendes), while contenders in the acting categories include Bryan Cranston for Network, Andrew Garfield for Angels in America and Lesley Manville for Long Day’s Journey into Night. Catherine Tate will be on hosting duties for the event at the Royal Albert Hall, which will, as usual, feature a crop of stellar performances; this one will include a special tribute to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, which turns 50 this year. Let’s hope the organisers bring together Josephs of the past for a big singalong: Jason Donovan, Phillip Schofield, Ian “H” Watkins and Lee Mead will all, one suspects, be available. Gabriel Tate Sex Robots and Us BBC Three, from 10.00am James Young, an amputee who created his own bionic arm, meets the people who design sex robots and hears about their plans for them, from being given to old people’s homes to “employment” in brothels. But is it the harmless, even socially responsible pursuit thatthey claim? Formula 1: The Bahrain Grand Prix Sky Sports F1, 3.30pm After the Australian Grand Prix – in which Sebastian Vettel took advantage of a safety-car blunder to win under pristine Melbourne skies – attention turns to the second round of the season at the Bahrain International Circuit in Sakhir. Another blunder cost Lewis Hamilton on this circuit last year – this time it happened in the pit lane, with Vettel capitalising to win by 6.6 seconds. The Generation Game BBC One, 8.00pm How do you top last week’s cavalcade of silliness in this rebooted game show? You rope in Danny Dyer to join Mel Giedroyc, Sue Perkins and panellists Melvin Odoom and Roisin Conaty for challenges that include cake decorating, balloon modelling and dancing the Argentine Tango. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm In the fourth episode of the popular drama, Larry (Josh O’Connor) visits Athens with two oddly named guests – Captain Creech (James Cosmo) and Prince Jeejeebuoy (Tanmay Dhanania) – in tow. There, they offer advice to Gerry (Milo Parker), who is applying for a new school. Jesus’ Female Disciples: the New Evidence Channel 4, 8.00pm For centuries, the birth of Christianity was regarded as a largely male affair, with women as only bit-part players. Now, Bible experts Helen Bond and Joan Taylor have discovered evidence that women were involved in everything from preaching and baptising to funding the movement as it grew. This absorbing documentary follows the historians’ progress. Golf: The Masters Sky Sports Main Event, 8.00pm Prepare for a dramatic finale as this year’s first Major – from the Augusta National in Georgia – concludes. Last year, Spain’s Sergio Garcia won the coveted green jacket, beating Justin Rose in a tense play-off. Ordeal by Innocence BBC One, 9.00pm Sarah Phelps’s splendid adaptation continues, as Arthur Calgary (Luke Treadaway) resolves to prove the truth about Jack Argyll’s (Anthony Boyle) alibi by any means necessary. GT Folk Awards 2018 BBC Four, 9.00pm Mark Radcliffe and Julie Fowlis introduce highlights from this year’s Radio 2 Folk Awards in Belfast. It features performances from Cara Dillon, Lankum and Eliza Carthy and the Wayward Band. The great Nick Drake will also be inducted into the Hall of Fame, his genius long-established, even if such recognition eluded him during his short life. Producer Dónal Lunny, meanwhile, receives the Lifetime Achievement Award for decades of tireless work promoting the renaissance in Irish music, plus The Armagh Pipers Club are presented with the Good Tradition Award. GT Emma (1996) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 3.00pm Gwyneth Paltrow’s American iciness melts in this deft adaptation of Jane Austen’s classic comic romance. She is Emma Woodhouse, spoilt, charming and an inveterate meddler. Only Mr George Knightley (Jeremy Northam) dares challenge her behaviour – but what are his motives? A clever film with a superb supporting cast, including Toni Collette, Alan Cumming and Ewan McGregor. United 93 (2006) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 9.55pm Director Paul Greengrass’s boneshaking, real-time take on the final hours of the United Airlines plane whose passengers rebelled against their hijackers on September 11, 2001 feels uncomfortably realistic. Greengrass, whose signature rapid cutting made the second and third Bourne films so exciting, proves expert at handling the most infamous atrocity of modern times with intelligence and sobriety. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) ★★★★☆ Channel 4, 11.00pm This superb adaptation of John le Carré’s brilliant, intricate Cold War spy novel is a triumph. The espionage drama follows the hunt for a Soviet double agent at the top of the British secret service, with Gary Oldman spearheading the excellent ensemble cast, which includes Colin Firth, Tom Hardy, John Hurt and Benedict Cumberbatch. It’s funny, seductive and suspenseful. Monday 9 April I spy: a recruit sees if she’s got what it takes to be an SOE agent Credit: BBC Secret Agent Selection: WW2 BBC Two, 9.00pm Not unlike Channel 4’s SAS: Who Dares Wins and BBC Two’s Astronauts: Do You Have What It Takes?, this absorbing new series puts a group of recruits through a series of gruelling physical and psychological challenges to see if they could make the grade as a secret agent according to an established selection test used during the Second World War. This test was used by the Special Operations Executive (SOE) to determine whether recruits from many different walks of life would be capable of being dropped behind enemy lines and surviving as a covert officer with a brief to cause the maximum disruption possible to the enemy in the territory. As with the original SOE, the 14 candidates come from diverse backgrounds (among them a research scientist, a property developer, former police officer, a drag act performer, a retired investment banker and an Army veteran). In the opening episode, they undergo the initial four-day assessment at a remote Scottish country-house estate. The aim is to winnow out weakness and determine who should win a place on the advanced, and suitably terrifying, course in assassination, sabotage and covert intelligence techniques. Gerard O’Donovan Famalam BBC Three, from 10.00am After a successful pilot last year, Vivienne Acheampong, Gbemisola Ikumelo, Roxanne Sternberg, Tom Moutchi and John MacMillan return with more culturally skewed sketches. Once again, they feature William and Funke’s raunchy chat show, misunderstood superhero Eclipse, Croydon’s voodoo practitioner Professor Lofuko, and a version of Midsomer Murders. 800 Words BBC One, 2.15pm If you like The Durrells you will definitely want to watch hit Australian comedy drama 800 Words. This gently funny series follows George (Erik Thomson), a widower, who horrifies his teenaged children when he moves the entire family to a remote seaside town in New Zealand. Springtime on the Farm Channel 5, 8.00pm This is the first of five shows this week celebrating the “great British farmer”, with the help of Yorkshire Vet stars Peter Wright and Julian Norton, Adam Henson of Countryfile and Springwatch’s Lindsey Chapman. In this programme, they explore how to cope with the stresses of lambing. MasterChef: The Finals BBC One, 9.00pm Oodles of challenges lie ahead for the remaining amateur chefs in the final week, which takes them as far afield as Peru ahead of Friday’s concluding cook-off. First, though, they’re off to North Yorkshire to cater a country-house lunch for local grandees and farmers. Lisbon: An Art Lovers’ Guide BBC Four, 9.00pm Having covered Barcelona, St Petersburg and Amsterdam in their first series of city-break guides, historian Dr Janina Ramirez and art critic Alastair Sooke jet off to explore three less obvious, art-rich destinations. Beirut and Baku are perhaps the more intriguing but it opens in Lisbon, which built up its art reserves during the centuries Portugal was part of one of the world’s great empires, and currently boasts one of the hottest contemporary art scenes in Europe. GO Marcella ITV, 9.00pm This drama’s been a little less fraught the second time round but Marcella still pushes the boundaries of credibility. In this concluding part, the heroine (Anna Friel) tracks down the killer, only to suffer one of her unfortunate episodes. GO The Core (2003) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 6.25pm Rome starts to crumble, the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco collapses and pigeons go mental in Trafalgar Square. Something is obviously amiss, and this time it isn’t climate change. In fact, the Earth’s core has stopped rotating and a team of scientists has to build a special burrowing machine to start it spinning again. Hilary Swank, Stanley Tucci and Aaron Eckhart do their best, but the excitement is intermittent. The Emoji Movie (2017) ★☆☆☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 6.30pm In this animated comedy set inside a smartphone, Gene (voiced by T J Miller), an emoji with multiple facial features, sets out on a quest to be like his colleagues who have only one. He does so with the help of apps like Spotify and Candy Crush. Sadly, the result is so horrendous that there aren’t enough Patrick Stewart-voiced emojis in the world to express what an ugly, artless exercise this is. Triple 9 (2016) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm A gang of criminals and corrupt cops plan to kill a police officer in order to pull off their biggest heist yet in John Hillcoat’s crime thriller. There is a lot to like here: a big opening and a strong cast (with Kate Winslet, Gal Gadot, Anthony Mackie and Chiwetel Ejiofor among them). But it feels like fragments of a great crime drama are missing; it’s enthralling up close, but then the big picture isn’t complete. Tuesday 10 April Back to school: Mark, who has two sons with autism Credit: Channel 4 Class of Mum and Dad Channel 4, 8.00pm Another week, another Channel 4 series about education. Hold off on the black marks, however, because this one is pretty good. The premise is simple: Blackrod Primary School just outside of Bolton has thrown open its doors to a class made up of pupils’ parents (and one grandparent). They’ve agreed to go back to school for the summer term to see what modern education is really like, sports day, Sats tests and all. Naturally, its harder than many of them were expecting – 36-year-old decorator Jonny states early on that he thought he’d be able to slope off for a swift cigarette break rather than having to adhere to strict class rules – but there are some touching stories amid the more obvious moments. Most notably, this opening episode focuses on two parents with challenging home lives – Julia, who is raising her 10-year-old cousin Asha after Asha’s mother died, and Mark, who has two autistic sons. While the parents’ travails are interesting, the children are the real scene-stealers, however, from those delighted that their mothers and fathers are taking part to those who are more sceptical. The pair of five-year-olds who spend their time corpsing in front of the camera are particularly endearing. Sarah Hughes Champions League Football: Manchester City v Liverpool BT Sport 2, 7.45pm The Etihad Stadium is the setting as City and Liverpool fight it out for a place in the semi-finals. Liverpool have the advantage following a 3-0 win at Anfield in the first leg. This Time Next Year ITV, 8.00pm Davina McCall returns with another set of heart-tugging stories of people attempting to transform their lives over the course of a year. First up are two new parents who dream of making life wonderful for their baby girl who has been deaf since birth and a couple desperate to start a family. Come Home BBC One, 9.00pm Danny Brocklehurst’s claustrophobic family drama comes to a head as we flashback to find out exactly what went wrong in Greg (Christopher Eccleston) and Marie’s (Paula Malcomson) marriage. Hospital BBC Two, 9.00pm The engrossing fly-on-the-wall medical series continues with Nottingham University Hospitals Trust struggling to cope with the new NHS ruling regarding the cancellation of all non-urgent surgery. The episode focuses on Val, a 55-year-old with mouth cancer whose surgeon is desperately trying to ensure that her operation goes ahead. Here and Now Sky Atlantic, 9.00pm With only two episodes left to go, Alan Ball’s family drama continues to tread water in the most frustrating ways. On paper, there are a whole bunch of interesting stories in the mix, from Kristen’s (Sosie Bacon) possible relationship with Navid (Marwan Salama) to Ramon’s (Daniel Zovatto) continuing visions, but the problem is nothing much happens with any of them as each story moves on only incrementally each week. In this episode, Audrey (Holly Hunter) finally turns the tables on the perpetually smug Greg (Tim Robbins). Cunk on Britain BBC Two, 10.00pm; NI, 11.15pm Diana Morgan’s pitch-perfect send-up of history programmes moves to the Tudor era and beyond as Cunk takes on Henry VIII, aka “The kingiest king who kinged over Britain” before giving us her unique perspective on “Bloody” Mary Tudor (“horrible like the drink”) and Elizabeth I. SH Divorce Sky Atlantic, 10.10pm The acerbic Sarah Jessica Parker sitcom has been firing on all cylinders throughout its second series – possibly because it’s more interesting watching Frances (Parker) and Robert (the excellent Thomas Haden Church) navigate life after divorce than it was watching them get there. Here, Frances tries to make a new contact in the art world. SH Speed (1994) ★★★★☆ Film4, 9.00pm “There’s a bomb on the bus!” is the most famous line and basically the entire plot of one of the best action thrillers of the Nineties. The sizzling chemistry between LAPD Swat specialist Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) and passenger Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock) sexes up the exhilarating action scenes, while Dennis Hopper is fantastically unhinged as a revenge-driven, retired bomb squad member turned terrorist. Fast & Furious 7 (2015) ★★★☆☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Paul Walker was killed in a car crash part-way through making this film so it was completed with the help of his two younger brothers and some subtle computer graphics. The good news is that this is the best film in the franchise and does justice to Walker. It isn’t polished blockbuster film-making – though if it was, it wouldn’t be Fast & Furious. But it speaks straight to your adrenal glands. The Witches of Eastwick (1987) ★★★☆☆ Syfy, 9.00pm It is remarkable that director George Miller’s daft, unfettered romp of a film works at all. But, thanks to Jack Nicholson’s delicious overacting as Daryl Van Horne, a manic gentleman who closely resembles the devil, and the three gorgeous, single small-town friends, Alexandra (Cher), Jane (Susan Sarandon) and Sukie (Michelle Pfeiffer), who vie for his debased attentions, it somehow does. Wednesday 11 April Family ties: Edgar Ramirez and Penelope Cruz Credit: BBC The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story BBC Two, 9.00pm It’s been fascinating to discover the “true” story behind the 1997 murder of fhion designer Gianni Versace in Ryan Murphy’s glitzy drama, which has expertly depicted the inner world of the perpetrator, a Walter Mitty-style serial killer called Andrew Cunanan (a career-defining role for Darren Criss). This episode, however, has a mid-series lull about it as Cunanan ascends to the higher echelons of gay society, shaping himself meticulously into the posh, preppy eye-candy who saw a sugar daddy (or two) as his way to the top. Elsewhere, the Versace siblings return at last. Gianni (Edgar Ramirez), now in failing health decides to champion his insecure sister Donatella (Penélope Cruz in a frightful wig) and turns her into both designer and muse. Despite a lack of characters to root for – the Versaces’ moments of vulnerability dissolve into tedious histrionics and are eclipsed by Cunanan’s cold-blooded machinations – it’s all quite a fabulous mix of fashion, high society and brutal murder, with some interesting commentary on homophobia in the Nineties as well. Vicki Power The Secret Helpers BBC Two, 8.00pm Watch and weep as timid elderly widow Lesley begins a new life as an out gay woman in this life-affirming docu-series. She’s encouraged with warmth and wisdom by amateur “sages” from abroad, who talk to her secretly through a hidden earpiece. From World War to Cold War Yesterday, 8.00pm As the Second World War drew to a close, Churchill, Stalin and Roosevelt met at Yalta in the Crimea to broker post-war peace. This brisk two-part documentary raids the archives for clips and letters from those who attended, and gathers experts and relatives – including FDR’s grandson – to investigate power plays by Stalin that wrong-footed his Allied counterparts. It’s a detailed look at how and why the compromises reached at Yalta were quickly cast aside. Bacchus Uncovered: Ancient God of Ecstasy BBC Four, 9.00pm Historian Bettany Hughes continues to explore ancient civilisations, moving on to Bacchus, the Roman god of wine. Hughes’s odyssey starts under the City of London, where an 1,800-year-old Roman temple to Bacchus was discovered less than 100 years ago, and takes her to Greece, the Middle East and the Caucasus to explore the god’s roots and influence. VP Benidorm ITV, 9.00pm Fluffy as candyfloss, this lewd seaside comedy provides some fun, particularly in the retro casting of stars of yesteryear. This week, an exuberant Sammy (Shane Richie) tries to persuade Monty (John Challis) that, after his successful comeback gig, he is ready for an evening slot. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm This feelgood documentary series brings more poignant tales from a Birmingham labour ward. This week we meet Chantell, about to deliver her third child, who regales us with a moving story of how parenthood with partner Phil has healed the wounds of a traumatic past. First Dates Channel 4, 10.00pm The thoughtful dating show pairs up four more couples, but the road to love is bumpy – septuagenarian Deanna finds her date more interested in the waiter than her. More promising is the match between Bianca and Teza, who allow their vulnerabilities to show. VP The Thin Red Line (1998) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 3.10pm This lyrical Second World War drama, directed by Terrence Malick, tells the story of a group of young US soldiers fighting the Japanese for control of the island of Guadalcanal. Full of stars such as Sean Penn and George Clooney, it struggles with its own battle to squeeze in so many characters but is still an atmospheric meditation on the nature of war. Nick Nolte and Adrien Brody also star. The Remains of the Day (1993) ★★★★☆ Sony Movie Channel, 3.55pm The success of Merchant Ivory’s adaptation of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Thirties-set novel, a well-observed study of regret, is built around its perfectly cast leads: Anthony Hopkins as James, the butler to the doltish aristocrat Lord Darlington (James Fox) and Emma Thompson as a housekeeper who tries to draw him out of his sterile shell. Lush visuals give it an added richness. Transporter 2 (2005) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm A martial arts action sequel, in which Jason Statham and Alessandro Gassman are the sporadically thrilling stars. Statham is Frank Martin, who accepts a job as chauffeur to Jack (Hunter Clary), the son of Miami’s politician Jefferson Billings (Matthew Modine). But the local Colombian drug dealers aren’t happy with his boss’s efforts to clean up the city. Cue a kidnapping, and a potentially deadly encounter with a cocaine baron. Thursday 12 April Changing attitudes: Holly and Hollie Credit: BBC Living with the Brainy Bunch BBC Two, 8.00pm Enterprising, PR-conscious Ash Ali is headmaster of Chessington Community College, a fast-improving school with a few problem pupils. Among them are Jack and Hollie who, on the surface, are comically awful teenagers. Hollie gripes constantly, throws strops and storms out of classrooms if things aren’t going her way. Jack is sullen, lazy and has clocked up 15 suspensions in the past year. It will come as no surprise to regular viewers of such documentaries that their behaviour is rooted in low self-esteem, although their parents unquestionably indulge their foibles. Ali’s novel solution is to place Hollie with Holly, tapdancing head girl and gregarious boffin, and Jack with Tharush, a Sri Lankan immigrant by way of Italy, whose talents are only matched by his work ethic. Now that Jack and Hollie are in the bosom of new families for six weeks, it’s hoped that a new environment, greater discipline and rigid routines will see their results improve and attitudes pick up. There are setbacks on the largely familiar narrative trajectory, but it’s cast to perfection and, as a demonstration of the importance of parenting in academic achievement, the experiment gets an A-star. Gabriel Tate European Tour Golf: The Open de Espana Sky Sports Golf, 11.00am The opening day’s play of the event from the Centro Nacional de Golf in Madrid, which was won by Andrew Johnston the last time it was held in 2016. War Above the Trenches Yesterday, 8.00pm This decent two-parter tells the story of the Royal Flying Corps and their battle to win control of the air in the First World War. Based on Peter Hart’s book Bloody April, it draws affectingly on the testimony of veterans to show there was more to the Western Front than trench warfare. Civilisations BBC Two, 9.00pm The modern age draws closer, as Simon Schama tackles the theme of radiance, guiding us through Gothic cathedrals, Baroque Venetian masterpieces and dazzling Japanese woodblock prints. The Investigator: A British Crime Story ITV, 9.00pm The second real-life case of the series sees Mark Williams-Thomas investigating the 1977 murders of three women in Glasgow. The suspect is Angus Sinclair, who is currently serving a life sentence for killing two other women that same year. We hear from his ex-wife, and learn how he was a prime suspect but escaped charges for the first killings when key evidence went missing. Indian Summer School Channel 4, 9.00pm This diverting documentary series concludes with a Himalayan trek, a controversial article in the school newspaper and the GCSE retakes that were the goal of the entire enterprise. Will Alfie, Harry, Jack and co see their grades improve? Urban Myths: Marilyn Monroe and Billy Wilder Sky Arts, 9.00pm Sky Arts’ boldly cast series of vaguely apocryphal tales from the pop-culture frontlines returns with a dispatch from the set of Some Like It Hot, the magnificent 1959 comedy that is almost certainly more fun to watch than it was to make. In this minor but entertaining reimagining, Tony Curtis (Alex Pettyfer) is threatening to cuckold Arthur Miller (Dougray Scott) by making off with Marilyn Monroe (Gemma Arterton), whose caprice, drinking and sensitivity is driving director Billy Wilder (James Purefoy) to distraction. GT Still Game BBC One, 9.30pm; BBC Two Wales, 10.00pm Justifying its prime-time BBC One slot, the Scottish sitcom bows out in triumph with a typically well-wrought farce involving a Hollywood stuntman, a disastrous driving lesson and romance for the widowed Isa (Jane McCarry). GT The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Christopher Lee steals the show as the titular assassin, Francisco Scaramanga, in this classic Bond adventure. Roger Moore’s secret agent, in his second outing as 007, must pursue him, with the help of sidekick Mary Goodnight (Britt Ekland), to the villain’s island lair in order to prevent him harnessing the power of the Sun for evil. The confrontations between Moore and Lee are easily the film’s highlights. Swordfish (2001) ★★☆☆☆ TCM, 9.00pm The most often quoted bit of trivia about this film is that Halle Berry was paid an additional £500,000 to go topless. It’s rather lucky she agreed because she’s probably the most appealing aspect of this frenetic thriller. John Travolta and Hugh Jackman put on testosterone-fuelled displays as a morally dubious counter-terrorist agent and the hacker he blackmails into accessing billions of dollars of government money. Some Like It Hot (1959, b/w) ★★★★★ Sky Arts, 9.30pm When two musicians (Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis) witness a mob hit, they flee the state disguised as women in an all-female band, but further complications arise in the form of demure ukulele player Sugar Kane, superbly played by Marilyn Monroe. Billy Wilder’s classic comedy is effortlessly wacky and clever. Before, at 9pm, is Urban Myths, which imagines what happened on the set of this romcom. Friday 13 April Dishing out opinions: John Torode and Gregg Wallace Credit: BBC MasterChef: The Final BBC One, 8.30pm It has taken 25 episodes over seven weeks to whittle down the 56 amateur contestants to three finalists, and in the process, MasterChef 2018 has produced some of the best cooking – and some of the toughest competition – in the series’ long history. (It has been running in one form or another since 1990; and since 2005 in, roughly, its current format with judges Gregg Wallace and John Torode presenting.) This last week has been no exception, with the finalists having to dig deeper than ever to produce the best dishes of their lives and some great moments – notably during the spectacular trip to South America when they met Peruvian superchef Gaston Acurio and took on a service at the fifth best restaurant in the world, the Central in Lima, under Michelin-starred maestro Virgilio Martínez Véliz. In the finale, it’s all about who cooks the best food, though, as the final three return to the studio kitchen to undergo a test of culinary skills and nerve as they set about creating the most important three-course meal of their lives – in the hope of being judged worthy of a title that has launched many a great career: MasterChef champion. Gerard O’Donovan Chef’s Table: Pastry Netflix, from today This mouth-watering spin-off from Netflix’s popular global foodie series Chef’s Table puts the focus entirely on sweet stuff, talking the cameras inside the kitchens of some of the world’s best pastry chefs, among them Christina Tosi’s Milk Bar in New York, Corrado Assenza’s Caffé Sicilia in Noto, Sicily, Jordi Roca’s El Celler de Can Roca in Girona, and Will Goldfarb’s Room4Dessert in Bali. Lost in Space Netflix, from today Not so much a rerun as a spectacular new take on the classic Sixties sci-fi series about a family marooned in space when their ship runs into difficulty on their way to a new colony and crashes on an unknown and surprisingly hostile planet. There are plenty of thrills and impressive visual effects, and Toby Stephens and Molly Parker are excellent as the pioneering Robinson parents John and Judy, while Parker Posey is an enigmatic (and now female) Dr Smith. GO The City & The City BBC Two, 9.00pm; Wales, 9.30pm Cop thrillers don’t come much more weirdly dystopian than China Miéville’s award-winning 2009 novel and this ultra-stylish adaptation serves its source material very well. In episode two, Inspector Borlú (David Morrissey) ventures back across the border while investigating the murder of a foreign student. Episodes BBC Two, 10.00pm; Wales, 11.05pm Having overcome last week’s unfortunate episode in this sitcom, Matt (Matt LeBlanc) is back on top and leveraging his spurt in the ratings for all it’s worth, handing Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Beverly (Tamsin Greig) a welcome opportunity for escape. Lee and Dean Channel 4, 10.00pm More rough charm, as life gets complicated for Stevenage’s very own Dumb and Dumber when Lee’s (Miles Chapman) financial worries mount and Dean (Mark O’Sullivan) is persuaded to premiere his poetry at the local arts club. Front Row Late BBC Two, 11.05pm; Wales, 11.35pm Freedom of speech and censorship are under the spotlight as host Mary Beard and guests discuss Theatre Clwyd’s production The Assassination of Katie Hopkins and former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright’s new book Fascism: A Warning. GO Alien: Covenant (2017) ★★★★★ Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm The latest film in the Alien saga from Ridley Scott is arguably a mad scientist movie. It follows the crew of the colony ship Covenant (including Katherine Waterson) as they discover what they think is an uncharted paradise, but what they uncover a threat beyond their imagination. Michael Fassbender puts in a spectacular turn as kindly robot David and his twisted “brother” Walter. Invictus (2009) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.45pm Following the death of Nelson Mandela’s ex-wife Winnie last week, aged 81, here’s Clint Eastwood’s take on South Africa’s World Cup victory in 1995. As the country emerges from apartheid, the newly elected President Mandela (an uncanny Morgan Freeman) sees the potential for the national rugby team, led by François Pienaar (Matt Damon), to be a catalyst for harmony. This is a polished and uplifting film. Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl (1982) ★★★★☆ Gold, 1.40am Much like the Secret Policeman’s Ball, this comedy performance film sees the Monty Python gang take to the stage, but this time they’re in Hollywood. Among the sketches are the Silly Olympics, where athletes compete in absurd sports, The Lumberjack Song, and The Ministry of Silly Walks. This film also features Carol Cleveland in numerous supporting roles. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O&#39;Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
What's on TV tonight: The City & the City, Sounds Like Friday Night and Have I Got News for You
Friday 6 April The City & the City BBC Two, 9.00pm; Northern Ireland, 9.30pm “I knew there was another city I dare not see… Just on the other side of where I was supposed to look.” So states Inspector Tyador Borlú (David Morrissey) midway through this engrossing adaptation of China Miéville’s Borgesian novel, which achieves the apparently impossible by bringing a dense and clever book to brilliant, atmospheric life. Borlú, a detective with the Extreme Crime Squad in the rundown vaguely Eastern European city of Beszul, is handed the task of solving the murder of a foreign student. So far, so standard, but what unfolds turns out to be anything but as scriptwriter Tony Grisoni (Red Riding) expertly captures Miéville’s vision of a world in which a city is divided not by a wall or barricade, but by blurred realities the populace is trained from birth not to see. Thus the two cities of Beszul and Ul Qoma coexist in the same space but without acknowledging each other, the town hall their only shared space. To look directly on the other city is to commit “Breach”, bringing about the wrath of the secret police. Grisoni and director Tom Shankland build the tension inexorably as Borlú’s world is slowly but surely upended. An absolute treat. Sarah Hughes Sounds Like Friday Night BBC One, 7.30pm The BBC’s music TV revival didn’t make a huge splash with its first series but it’s still worth checking out, if only because co-host and Radio 1Xtra presenter Dotty is such a likeable presence. Tonight, she’s on the road, while Greg James anchors from the studio. Professor Green, Snow Patrol and Years & Years perform. Have I Got News for You BBC One, 9.30pm The satirical quiz show returns for a 55th series, with captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop joined by presenter Steph McGovern and comedian Josh Widdicombe; Jeremy Paxman hosts. The Graham Norton Show BBC One, 10.35pm In an era when the talk show appears tired somehow Graham Norton manages to keep the format enjoyable. Tonight’s episode, the first in a new series, sees husband-and-wife team Emily Blunt and John Krasinski discuss their horror A Quiet Place. Front Row Late BBC Two, 11.05pm; N Ireland, 11.35pm Following the kerfuffle over its poorly received first series, the arts show returns with a rejigged format and Mary Beard in the presenter’s chair. Informed debate is promised, although Beard has said that she won’t simply replicate the notoriously combative Newsnight Review. SH BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm The contest kicks off at the Royal Birmingham Conservatoire’s new concert hall. Presenter Josie d’Arby is joined by 1998 finalist Alison Balsom as we meet the final five: violinists Elodie Chousmer-Howelles and Stephanie Childress, double bassist Will Duerden, guitarist Torrin Williams and cellist Maxim Calver. The judges are double bassist Leon Bosch, classical guitarist Miloš Karadaglić, violinist and previous Young Musician of the Year winner, Jennifer Pike. Composer Kerry Andrew and the contestants will perform works by Bach, Brahms and Stravinsky. The Nineties Sky Arts, 9.00pm There’s nothing like seeing the decade you came of age in co-opted for nostalgic TV to make you feel old, but for those who can bear seeing their youth dissected Sky Arts at least does it well. Tonight’s second episode continues the focus on the decade’s TV with The Sopranos and Seinfeld under discussion. SH Fury (2014) ★★★★★ 5STAR, 9.00pm David Ayer’s study of the habits and habitats of the American killer male is an astonishing, stirring drama. It’s Germany 1945, and Sgt Don “Wardaddy” Collie (Brad Pitt) and his team are grinding towards Berlin in a battered M4 Sherman tank. There is no rescue mission, just an agonising rumble from one brush with death to the next. The set-piece battles are gripping, and the raw terror of war is blasted home. Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) ★★★★☆ Film4, 9.00pm The best of Richard Curtis and Hugh Grant’s romcoms about awfully nice chaps dithering over frightfully pretty girls. Grant plays bumbling Charles, who, ah, er, can’t tell what’s, um, going on between him and the scrummy Carrie (Andie MacDowell), who he keeps, gosh, bumping into at weddings. It’s aged pretty well and certainly knocks spots off Love, Actually. Lawless (2012) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 12.45am An adaptation of the historical novel The Wettest County in the World, John Hillcoat’s Prohibition-era western follows three brothers (played by Tom Hardy, Shia LaBeouf and Jason Clarke), who do a tidy business distilling and selling illegal moonshine whiskey. It’s an oddly affectionate clan portrait – the violence the brothers mete out is implicitly forgiven – but the period detail is well observed. Saturday 7 April Saturday night fever: Declan Donnelly presents from Orlando Credit: Rex/Shutterstock Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway ITV, 7.00pm It can’t be easy hosting a show as exuberant as Saturday Night Takeaway on your own but Declan Donnelly made a solid if understandably restrained go of it last week. He ensured that the light entertainment series proceeded pretty much as normal in the absence of long-time work partner Ant McPartlin, whose travails were sensibly referenced only in very brief passing (“I’ve got twice the amount of work to do,” Donnelly noted at one point before mock-berating the production crew that “I’ll have to do it myself, like everything else around here this week”). That said, this final episode ups the ante as Donnelly takes the show on the road to the Universal Orlando Resort in Florida. Once there we’re promised a “super-sized” edition featuring stunts, surprises and “extra-special” guests. No word yet as to who those guests will be but expect Donnelly to continue making the best of a difficult situation, buoyed by extra support from Scarlett Moffatt, who is in charge of ensuring that the Place on the Plane winners have a wonderful time, and Stephen Mulhern, who has the possibly less than enviable task of explaining In for a Penny to an American audience. Sarah Hughes Premier League Football: Everton v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 12.30pm Tired, perhaps, from their Champions League quarter-final first leg against Man City, Liverpool face their bitter local rivals Everton at Goodison Park. The home side, who’ve won three of their last six games, haven’t beaten Liverpool since October 2010, when Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta gave them a 2-0 victory. Premiership Rugby Union: Bath v Leicester Tigers Channel 5, 1.30pm Time was when Bath and Leicester were the titans of English rugby. Currently they are fifth and eighth in the league, respectively. In September, Bath claimed a 27-23 win at Welford Road, as they held on for their first away win at Leicester since 2003, ensuring an unhappy return for George Ford against the club he left in the summer. The two sides also met in the Anglo-Welsh Cup at the Recreation Ground in November, where Bath also emerged victorious, beating Leicester 33-31 on that occasion. Premier League Football: Manchester City v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 5.30pm What better way for Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City to clinch the title than by beating second-placed Manchester United at the Etihad Stadium. Sixteen points ahead of them in the table, City have been formidable this season, winning 27 of the 31 league games they’ve played. One of those victories came at Old Trafford, with a goal from Nicolas Otamendi giving City a 2-1 victory when these sides met in December. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm Alice Roberts is our guide for this new six-part series, which sees her search the UK for the places that best sum up an historical era. The first era is Roman Britain, so Roberts heads to Chester, where she abseils down walls, hunkers in caves and uncovers the truth about the city. Casualty BBC One, 8.20pm The medical drama’s storyline about Dylan’s (William Beck) alcoholism continues to be sensitively handled as the medic’s ex-wife Sam (Charlotte Salt) worries about whether she can help him. Meanwhile, Ethan (George Hardy) struggles with his own demons as he realises that a patient is related to his brother’s killer. The Voice UK: Live Final ITV, 8.30pm Every reality TV idea has an allotted shelf life and it’s hard not to feel that musical talent contests have come to the end of their run. For those who disagree, The Voice UK’s grand finale is here and the final four battle it out for public approval. Below the Surface BBC Four, 9.00pm & 9.45pm BBC Four’s latest Scandi drama started off tensely but like its predecessor, Modus, it has gone on to become ever more ludicrous. Now it’s the final two episodes, and Philip Norgaard (Johannes Lassen) faces off against Mark (Jakob Oftebro), the man behind the hostage crisis. Much heartfelt talking follows, although you may end up feeling more sympathetic towards the damaged Mark than the chilly Norgaard. Pearl Jam: Let’s Play Two Sky Arts, 9.00pm When is a music documentary not a music documentary? When it’s also a sports film. This exuberant film, which was made following the Chicago Cubs’ victory in baseball’s World Series in 2016, follows die-hard Cubs fan and Pearl Jam lead singer Eddie Vedder as he cheers on his team during their championship run while also preparing the band for two August shows at the team’s Wrigley Field Stadium. The result is an affectionate portrait of the singer as fan. SH Troy: Fall of a City BBC One, 9.10pm David Farr’s epic series reaches its climax with the arrival of the most famous horse in history. After an uninspiring start, Troy has picked up in recent weeks and the final episode is a well-handled tale of betrayal and death. It’s a curate’s egg of a series, let down by poor casting. SH X-Men (2000) ★★★★☆ Film4, 7.00pm Bryan Singer directs an all-star cast that includes Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen and Halle Berry, in the first of the X-Men franchise. A group of mutants must decide whether to side with Professor Xavier (Stewart) or the evil Magneto (McKellen) in what is a solid opening to the series and which paved the way for plenty of big-budget sequels. This is followed by X-Men 2 and X-Men 3 at 9.00pm and 11.35pm respectively. Legend (2015) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 9.00pm Tom Hardy gives a solid, convincing performance as east London gangster Reggie Kray but his caricatured portrayal of twin brother Ronnie lets him down, and this inconsistency leads to an entertaining though muddled film. Emily Browning, however, gives just the right mix of defiance and despair as Frances Shea, Reggie’s put-upon wife. Watch out for some particularly gory scenes. Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) ★★★☆☆ ITV4, 9.05pm Mel Gibson sports his signature Eighties mullet in the second film of this daft-but-fun action franchise. LAPD officer Riggs (Gibson) teams up once again with his partner Murtaugh (Danny Glover) to track down a band of South African criminals while protecting a painfully frenzied witness (Joe Pesci). Naturally, the pair find themselves drawn into violent action sequences orchestrated by stereotypical bad guys. Sunday 8 April Hostess with the mostest: Catherine Tate presents the awards Credit: ITV The Olivier Awards 2018 ITV, 10.20pm Last year, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child swept the board with nine Olivier Awards, something that looked impossible to top. But then came Lin Manuel Miranda’s blockbuster musical Hamilton, whose West End run has received reviews every bit as rapturous as those from its Broadway debut. The show has a record-breaking 13 nominations, which it is thought will be translated into awards. After being snubbed for Jerusalem, Jez Butterworth will surely be rewarded for his equally magisterial play The Ferryman (its eight nominations include best play and best director for Sam Mendes), while contenders in the acting categories include Bryan Cranston for Network, Andrew Garfield for Angels in America and Lesley Manville for Long Day’s Journey into Night. Catherine Tate will be on hosting duties for the event at the Royal Albert Hall, which will, as usual, feature a crop of stellar performances; this one will include a special tribute to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, which turns 50 this year. Let’s hope the organisers bring together Josephs of the past for a big singalong: Jason Donovan, Phillip Schofield, Ian “H” Watkins and Lee Mead will all, one suspects, be available. Gabriel Tate Sex Robots and Us BBC Three, from 10.00am James Young, an amputee who created his own bionic arm, meets the people who design sex robots and hears about their plans for them, from being given to old people’s homes to “employment” in brothels. But is it the harmless, even socially responsible pursuit thatthey claim? Formula 1: The Bahrain Grand Prix Sky Sports F1, 3.30pm After the Australian Grand Prix – in which Sebastian Vettel took advantage of a safety-car blunder to win under pristine Melbourne skies – attention turns to the second round of the season at the Bahrain International Circuit in Sakhir. Another blunder cost Lewis Hamilton on this circuit last year – this time it happened in the pit lane, with Vettel capitalising to win by 6.6 seconds. The Generation Game BBC One, 8.00pm How do you top last week’s cavalcade of silliness in this rebooted game show? You rope in Danny Dyer to join Mel Giedroyc, Sue Perkins and panellists Melvin Odoom and Roisin Conaty for challenges that include cake decorating, balloon modelling and dancing the Argentine Tango. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm In the fourth episode of the popular drama, Larry (Josh O’Connor) visits Athens with two oddly named guests – Captain Creech (James Cosmo) and Prince Jeejeebuoy (Tanmay Dhanania) – in tow. There, they offer advice to Gerry (Milo Parker), who is applying for a new school. Jesus’ Female Disciples: the New Evidence Channel 4, 8.00pm For centuries, the birth of Christianity was regarded as a largely male affair, with women as only bit-part players. Now, Bible experts Helen Bond and Joan Taylor have discovered evidence that women were involved in everything from preaching and baptising to funding the movement as it grew. This absorbing documentary follows the historians’ progress. Golf: The Masters Sky Sports Main Event, 8.00pm Prepare for a dramatic finale as this year’s first Major – from the Augusta National in Georgia – concludes. Last year, Spain’s Sergio Garcia won the coveted green jacket, beating Justin Rose in a tense play-off. Ordeal by Innocence BBC One, 9.00pm Sarah Phelps’s splendid adaptation continues, as Arthur Calgary (Luke Treadaway) resolves to prove the truth about Jack Argyll’s (Anthony Boyle) alibi by any means necessary. GT Folk Awards 2018 BBC Four, 9.00pm Mark Radcliffe and Julie Fowlis introduce highlights from this year’s Radio 2 Folk Awards in Belfast. It features performances from Cara Dillon, Lankum and Eliza Carthy and the Wayward Band. The great Nick Drake will also be inducted into the Hall of Fame, his genius long-established, even if such recognition eluded him during his short life. Producer Dónal Lunny, meanwhile, receives the Lifetime Achievement Award for decades of tireless work promoting the renaissance in Irish music, plus The Armagh Pipers Club are presented with the Good Tradition Award. GT Emma (1996) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 3.00pm Gwyneth Paltrow’s American iciness melts in this deft adaptation of Jane Austen’s classic comic romance. She is Emma Woodhouse, spoilt, charming and an inveterate meddler. Only Mr George Knightley (Jeremy Northam) dares challenge her behaviour – but what are his motives? A clever film with a superb supporting cast, including Toni Collette, Alan Cumming and Ewan McGregor. United 93 (2006) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 9.55pm Director Paul Greengrass’s boneshaking, real-time take on the final hours of the United Airlines plane whose passengers rebelled against their hijackers on September 11, 2001 feels uncomfortably realistic. Greengrass, whose signature rapid cutting made the second and third Bourne films so exciting, proves expert at handling the most infamous atrocity of modern times with intelligence and sobriety. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) ★★★★☆ Channel 4, 11.00pm This superb adaptation of John le Carré’s brilliant, intricate Cold War spy novel is a triumph. The espionage drama follows the hunt for a Soviet double agent at the top of the British secret service, with Gary Oldman spearheading the excellent ensemble cast, which includes Colin Firth, Tom Hardy, John Hurt and Benedict Cumberbatch. It’s funny, seductive and suspenseful. Monday 9 April I spy: a recruit sees if she’s got what it takes to be an SOE agent Credit: BBC Secret Agent Selection: WW2 BBC Two, 9.00pm Not unlike Channel 4’s SAS: Who Dares Wins and BBC Two’s Astronauts: Do You Have What It Takes?, this absorbing new series puts a group of recruits through a series of gruelling physical and psychological challenges to see if they could make the grade as a secret agent according to an established selection test used during the Second World War. This test was used by the Special Operations Executive (SOE) to determine whether recruits from many different walks of life would be capable of being dropped behind enemy lines and surviving as a covert officer with a brief to cause the maximum disruption possible to the enemy in the territory. As with the original SOE, the 14 candidates come from diverse backgrounds (among them a research scientist, a property developer, former police officer, a drag act performer, a retired investment banker and an Army veteran). In the opening episode, they undergo the initial four-day assessment at a remote Scottish country-house estate. The aim is to winnow out weakness and determine who should win a place on the advanced, and suitably terrifying, course in assassination, sabotage and covert intelligence techniques. Gerard O’Donovan Famalam BBC Three, from 10.00am After a successful pilot last year, Vivienne Acheampong, Gbemisola Ikumelo, Roxanne Sternberg, Tom Moutchi and John MacMillan return with more culturally skewed sketches. Once again, they feature William and Funke’s raunchy chat show, misunderstood superhero Eclipse, Croydon’s voodoo practitioner Professor Lofuko, and a version of Midsomer Murders. 800 Words BBC One, 2.15pm If you like The Durrells you will definitely want to watch hit Australian comedy drama 800 Words. This gently funny series follows George (Erik Thomson), a widower, who horrifies his teenaged children when he moves the entire family to a remote seaside town in New Zealand. Springtime on the Farm Channel 5, 8.00pm This is the first of five shows this week celebrating the “great British farmer”, with the help of Yorkshire Vet stars Peter Wright and Julian Norton, Adam Henson of Countryfile and Springwatch’s Lindsey Chapman. In this programme, they explore how to cope with the stresses of lambing. MasterChef: The Finals BBC One, 9.00pm Oodles of challenges lie ahead for the remaining amateur chefs in the final week, which takes them as far afield as Peru ahead of Friday’s concluding cook-off. First, though, they’re off to North Yorkshire to cater a country-house lunch for local grandees and farmers. Lisbon: An Art Lovers’ Guide BBC Four, 9.00pm Having covered Barcelona, St Petersburg and Amsterdam in their first series of city-break guides, historian Dr Janina Ramirez and art critic Alastair Sooke jet off to explore three less obvious, art-rich destinations. Beirut and Baku are perhaps the more intriguing but it opens in Lisbon, which built up its art reserves during the centuries Portugal was part of one of the world’s great empires, and currently boasts one of the hottest contemporary art scenes in Europe. GO Marcella ITV, 9.00pm This drama’s been a little less fraught the second time round but Marcella still pushes the boundaries of credibility. In this concluding part, the heroine (Anna Friel) tracks down the killer, only to suffer one of her unfortunate episodes. GO The Core (2003) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 6.25pm Rome starts to crumble, the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco collapses and pigeons go mental in Trafalgar Square. Something is obviously amiss, and this time it isn’t climate change. In fact, the Earth’s core has stopped rotating and a team of scientists has to build a special burrowing machine to start it spinning again. Hilary Swank, Stanley Tucci and Aaron Eckhart do their best, but the excitement is intermittent. The Emoji Movie (2017) ★☆☆☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 6.30pm In this animated comedy set inside a smartphone, Gene (voiced by T J Miller), an emoji with multiple facial features, sets out on a quest to be like his colleagues who have only one. He does so with the help of apps like Spotify and Candy Crush. Sadly, the result is so horrendous that there aren’t enough Patrick Stewart-voiced emojis in the world to express what an ugly, artless exercise this is. Triple 9 (2016) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm A gang of criminals and corrupt cops plan to kill a police officer in order to pull off their biggest heist yet in John Hillcoat’s crime thriller. There is a lot to like here: a big opening and a strong cast (with Kate Winslet, Gal Gadot, Anthony Mackie and Chiwetel Ejiofor among them). But it feels like fragments of a great crime drama are missing; it’s enthralling up close, but then the big picture isn’t complete. Tuesday 10 April Back to school: Mark, who has two sons with autism Credit: Channel 4 Class of Mum and Dad Channel 4, 8.00pm Another week, another Channel 4 series about education. Hold off on the black marks, however, because this one is pretty good. The premise is simple: Blackrod Primary School just outside of Bolton has thrown open its doors to a class made up of pupils’ parents (and one grandparent). They’ve agreed to go back to school for the summer term to see what modern education is really like, sports day, Sats tests and all. Naturally, its harder than many of them were expecting – 36-year-old decorator Jonny states early on that he thought he’d be able to slope off for a swift cigarette break rather than having to adhere to strict class rules – but there are some touching stories amid the more obvious moments. Most notably, this opening episode focuses on two parents with challenging home lives – Julia, who is raising her 10-year-old cousin Asha after Asha’s mother died, and Mark, who has two autistic sons. While the parents’ travails are interesting, the children are the real scene-stealers, however, from those delighted that their mothers and fathers are taking part to those who are more sceptical. The pair of five-year-olds who spend their time corpsing in front of the camera are particularly endearing. Sarah Hughes Champions League Football: Manchester City v Liverpool BT Sport 2, 7.45pm The Etihad Stadium is the setting as City and Liverpool fight it out for a place in the semi-finals. Liverpool have the advantage following a 3-0 win at Anfield in the first leg. This Time Next Year ITV, 8.00pm Davina McCall returns with another set of heart-tugging stories of people attempting to transform their lives over the course of a year. First up are two new parents who dream of making life wonderful for their baby girl who has been deaf since birth and a couple desperate to start a family. Come Home BBC One, 9.00pm Danny Brocklehurst’s claustrophobic family drama comes to a head as we flashback to find out exactly what went wrong in Greg (Christopher Eccleston) and Marie’s (Paula Malcomson) marriage. Hospital BBC Two, 9.00pm The engrossing fly-on-the-wall medical series continues with Nottingham University Hospitals Trust struggling to cope with the new NHS ruling regarding the cancellation of all non-urgent surgery. The episode focuses on Val, a 55-year-old with mouth cancer whose surgeon is desperately trying to ensure that her operation goes ahead. Here and Now Sky Atlantic, 9.00pm With only two episodes left to go, Alan Ball’s family drama continues to tread water in the most frustrating ways. On paper, there are a whole bunch of interesting stories in the mix, from Kristen’s (Sosie Bacon) possible relationship with Navid (Marwan Salama) to Ramon’s (Daniel Zovatto) continuing visions, but the problem is nothing much happens with any of them as each story moves on only incrementally each week. In this episode, Audrey (Holly Hunter) finally turns the tables on the perpetually smug Greg (Tim Robbins). Cunk on Britain BBC Two, 10.00pm; NI, 11.15pm Diana Morgan’s pitch-perfect send-up of history programmes moves to the Tudor era and beyond as Cunk takes on Henry VIII, aka “The kingiest king who kinged over Britain” before giving us her unique perspective on “Bloody” Mary Tudor (“horrible like the drink”) and Elizabeth I. SH Divorce Sky Atlantic, 10.10pm The acerbic Sarah Jessica Parker sitcom has been firing on all cylinders throughout its second series – possibly because it’s more interesting watching Frances (Parker) and Robert (the excellent Thomas Haden Church) navigate life after divorce than it was watching them get there. Here, Frances tries to make a new contact in the art world. SH Speed (1994) ★★★★☆ Film4, 9.00pm “There’s a bomb on the bus!” is the most famous line and basically the entire plot of one of the best action thrillers of the Nineties. The sizzling chemistry between LAPD Swat specialist Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) and passenger Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock) sexes up the exhilarating action scenes, while Dennis Hopper is fantastically unhinged as a revenge-driven, retired bomb squad member turned terrorist. Fast & Furious 7 (2015) ★★★☆☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Paul Walker was killed in a car crash part-way through making this film so it was completed with the help of his two younger brothers and some subtle computer graphics. The good news is that this is the best film in the franchise and does justice to Walker. It isn’t polished blockbuster film-making – though if it was, it wouldn’t be Fast & Furious. But it speaks straight to your adrenal glands. The Witches of Eastwick (1987) ★★★☆☆ Syfy, 9.00pm It is remarkable that director George Miller’s daft, unfettered romp of a film works at all. But, thanks to Jack Nicholson’s delicious overacting as Daryl Van Horne, a manic gentleman who closely resembles the devil, and the three gorgeous, single small-town friends, Alexandra (Cher), Jane (Susan Sarandon) and Sukie (Michelle Pfeiffer), who vie for his debased attentions, it somehow does. Wednesday 11 April Family ties: Edgar Ramirez and Penelope Cruz Credit: BBC The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story BBC Two, 9.00pm It’s been fascinating to discover the “true” story behind the 1997 murder of fhion designer Gianni Versace in Ryan Murphy’s glitzy drama, which has expertly depicted the inner world of the perpetrator, a Walter Mitty-style serial killer called Andrew Cunanan (a career-defining role for Darren Criss). This episode, however, has a mid-series lull about it as Cunanan ascends to the higher echelons of gay society, shaping himself meticulously into the posh, preppy eye-candy who saw a sugar daddy (or two) as his way to the top. Elsewhere, the Versace siblings return at last. Gianni (Edgar Ramirez), now in failing health decides to champion his insecure sister Donatella (Penélope Cruz in a frightful wig) and turns her into both designer and muse. Despite a lack of characters to root for – the Versaces’ moments of vulnerability dissolve into tedious histrionics and are eclipsed by Cunanan’s cold-blooded machinations – it’s all quite a fabulous mix of fashion, high society and brutal murder, with some interesting commentary on homophobia in the Nineties as well. Vicki Power The Secret Helpers BBC Two, 8.00pm Watch and weep as timid elderly widow Lesley begins a new life as an out gay woman in this life-affirming docu-series. She’s encouraged with warmth and wisdom by amateur “sages” from abroad, who talk to her secretly through a hidden earpiece. From World War to Cold War Yesterday, 8.00pm As the Second World War drew to a close, Churchill, Stalin and Roosevelt met at Yalta in the Crimea to broker post-war peace. This brisk two-part documentary raids the archives for clips and letters from those who attended, and gathers experts and relatives – including FDR’s grandson – to investigate power plays by Stalin that wrong-footed his Allied counterparts. It’s a detailed look at how and why the compromises reached at Yalta were quickly cast aside. Bacchus Uncovered: Ancient God of Ecstasy BBC Four, 9.00pm Historian Bettany Hughes continues to explore ancient civilisations, moving on to Bacchus, the Roman god of wine. Hughes’s odyssey starts under the City of London, where an 1,800-year-old Roman temple to Bacchus was discovered less than 100 years ago, and takes her to Greece, the Middle East and the Caucasus to explore the god’s roots and influence. VP Benidorm ITV, 9.00pm Fluffy as candyfloss, this lewd seaside comedy provides some fun, particularly in the retro casting of stars of yesteryear. This week, an exuberant Sammy (Shane Richie) tries to persuade Monty (John Challis) that, after his successful comeback gig, he is ready for an evening slot. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm This feelgood documentary series brings more poignant tales from a Birmingham labour ward. This week we meet Chantell, about to deliver her third child, who regales us with a moving story of how parenthood with partner Phil has healed the wounds of a traumatic past. First Dates Channel 4, 10.00pm The thoughtful dating show pairs up four more couples, but the road to love is bumpy – septuagenarian Deanna finds her date more interested in the waiter than her. More promising is the match between Bianca and Teza, who allow their vulnerabilities to show. VP The Thin Red Line (1998) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 3.10pm This lyrical Second World War drama, directed by Terrence Malick, tells the story of a group of young US soldiers fighting the Japanese for control of the island of Guadalcanal. Full of stars such as Sean Penn and George Clooney, it struggles with its own battle to squeeze in so many characters but is still an atmospheric meditation on the nature of war. Nick Nolte and Adrien Brody also star. The Remains of the Day (1993) ★★★★☆ Sony Movie Channel, 3.55pm The success of Merchant Ivory’s adaptation of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Thirties-set novel, a well-observed study of regret, is built around its perfectly cast leads: Anthony Hopkins as James, the butler to the doltish aristocrat Lord Darlington (James Fox) and Emma Thompson as a housekeeper who tries to draw him out of his sterile shell. Lush visuals give it an added richness. Transporter 2 (2005) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm A martial arts action sequel, in which Jason Statham and Alessandro Gassman are the sporadically thrilling stars. Statham is Frank Martin, who accepts a job as chauffeur to Jack (Hunter Clary), the son of Miami’s politician Jefferson Billings (Matthew Modine). But the local Colombian drug dealers aren’t happy with his boss’s efforts to clean up the city. Cue a kidnapping, and a potentially deadly encounter with a cocaine baron. Thursday 12 April Changing attitudes: Holly and Hollie Credit: BBC Living with the Brainy Bunch BBC Two, 8.00pm Enterprising, PR-conscious Ash Ali is headmaster of Chessington Community College, a fast-improving school with a few problem pupils. Among them are Jack and Hollie who, on the surface, are comically awful teenagers. Hollie gripes constantly, throws strops and storms out of classrooms if things aren’t going her way. Jack is sullen, lazy and has clocked up 15 suspensions in the past year. It will come as no surprise to regular viewers of such documentaries that their behaviour is rooted in low self-esteem, although their parents unquestionably indulge their foibles. Ali’s novel solution is to place Hollie with Holly, tapdancing head girl and gregarious boffin, and Jack with Tharush, a Sri Lankan immigrant by way of Italy, whose talents are only matched by his work ethic. Now that Jack and Hollie are in the bosom of new families for six weeks, it’s hoped that a new environment, greater discipline and rigid routines will see their results improve and attitudes pick up. There are setbacks on the largely familiar narrative trajectory, but it’s cast to perfection and, as a demonstration of the importance of parenting in academic achievement, the experiment gets an A-star. Gabriel Tate European Tour Golf: The Open de Espana Sky Sports Golf, 11.00am The opening day’s play of the event from the Centro Nacional de Golf in Madrid, which was won by Andrew Johnston the last time it was held in 2016. War Above the Trenches Yesterday, 8.00pm This decent two-parter tells the story of the Royal Flying Corps and their battle to win control of the air in the First World War. Based on Peter Hart’s book Bloody April, it draws affectingly on the testimony of veterans to show there was more to the Western Front than trench warfare. Civilisations BBC Two, 9.00pm The modern age draws closer, as Simon Schama tackles the theme of radiance, guiding us through Gothic cathedrals, Baroque Venetian masterpieces and dazzling Japanese woodblock prints. The Investigator: A British Crime Story ITV, 9.00pm The second real-life case of the series sees Mark Williams-Thomas investigating the 1977 murders of three women in Glasgow. The suspect is Angus Sinclair, who is currently serving a life sentence for killing two other women that same year. We hear from his ex-wife, and learn how he was a prime suspect but escaped charges for the first killings when key evidence went missing. Indian Summer School Channel 4, 9.00pm This diverting documentary series concludes with a Himalayan trek, a controversial article in the school newspaper and the GCSE retakes that were the goal of the entire enterprise. Will Alfie, Harry, Jack and co see their grades improve? Urban Myths: Marilyn Monroe and Billy Wilder Sky Arts, 9.00pm Sky Arts’ boldly cast series of vaguely apocryphal tales from the pop-culture frontlines returns with a dispatch from the set of Some Like It Hot, the magnificent 1959 comedy that is almost certainly more fun to watch than it was to make. In this minor but entertaining reimagining, Tony Curtis (Alex Pettyfer) is threatening to cuckold Arthur Miller (Dougray Scott) by making off with Marilyn Monroe (Gemma Arterton), whose caprice, drinking and sensitivity is driving director Billy Wilder (James Purefoy) to distraction. GT Still Game BBC One, 9.30pm; BBC Two Wales, 10.00pm Justifying its prime-time BBC One slot, the Scottish sitcom bows out in triumph with a typically well-wrought farce involving a Hollywood stuntman, a disastrous driving lesson and romance for the widowed Isa (Jane McCarry). GT The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Christopher Lee steals the show as the titular assassin, Francisco Scaramanga, in this classic Bond adventure. Roger Moore’s secret agent, in his second outing as 007, must pursue him, with the help of sidekick Mary Goodnight (Britt Ekland), to the villain’s island lair in order to prevent him harnessing the power of the Sun for evil. The confrontations between Moore and Lee are easily the film’s highlights. Swordfish (2001) ★★☆☆☆ TCM, 9.00pm The most often quoted bit of trivia about this film is that Halle Berry was paid an additional £500,000 to go topless. It’s rather lucky she agreed because she’s probably the most appealing aspect of this frenetic thriller. John Travolta and Hugh Jackman put on testosterone-fuelled displays as a morally dubious counter-terrorist agent and the hacker he blackmails into accessing billions of dollars of government money. Some Like It Hot (1959, b/w) ★★★★★ Sky Arts, 9.30pm When two musicians (Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis) witness a mob hit, they flee the state disguised as women in an all-female band, but further complications arise in the form of demure ukulele player Sugar Kane, superbly played by Marilyn Monroe. Billy Wilder’s classic comedy is effortlessly wacky and clever. Before, at 9pm, is Urban Myths, which imagines what happened on the set of this romcom. Friday 13 April Dishing out opinions: John Torode and Gregg Wallace Credit: BBC MasterChef: The Final BBC One, 8.30pm It has taken 25 episodes over seven weeks to whittle down the 56 amateur contestants to three finalists, and in the process, MasterChef 2018 has produced some of the best cooking – and some of the toughest competition – in the series’ long history. (It has been running in one form or another since 1990; and since 2005 in, roughly, its current format with judges Gregg Wallace and John Torode presenting.) This last week has been no exception, with the finalists having to dig deeper than ever to produce the best dishes of their lives and some great moments – notably during the spectacular trip to South America when they met Peruvian superchef Gaston Acurio and took on a service at the fifth best restaurant in the world, the Central in Lima, under Michelin-starred maestro Virgilio Martínez Véliz. In the finale, it’s all about who cooks the best food, though, as the final three return to the studio kitchen to undergo a test of culinary skills and nerve as they set about creating the most important three-course meal of their lives – in the hope of being judged worthy of a title that has launched many a great career: MasterChef champion. Gerard O’Donovan Chef’s Table: Pastry Netflix, from today This mouth-watering spin-off from Netflix’s popular global foodie series Chef’s Table puts the focus entirely on sweet stuff, talking the cameras inside the kitchens of some of the world’s best pastry chefs, among them Christina Tosi’s Milk Bar in New York, Corrado Assenza’s Caffé Sicilia in Noto, Sicily, Jordi Roca’s El Celler de Can Roca in Girona, and Will Goldfarb’s Room4Dessert in Bali. Lost in Space Netflix, from today Not so much a rerun as a spectacular new take on the classic Sixties sci-fi series about a family marooned in space when their ship runs into difficulty on their way to a new colony and crashes on an unknown and surprisingly hostile planet. There are plenty of thrills and impressive visual effects, and Toby Stephens and Molly Parker are excellent as the pioneering Robinson parents John and Judy, while Parker Posey is an enigmatic (and now female) Dr Smith. GO The City & The City BBC Two, 9.00pm; Wales, 9.30pm Cop thrillers don’t come much more weirdly dystopian than China Miéville’s award-winning 2009 novel and this ultra-stylish adaptation serves its source material very well. In episode two, Inspector Borlú (David Morrissey) ventures back across the border while investigating the murder of a foreign student. Episodes BBC Two, 10.00pm; Wales, 11.05pm Having overcome last week’s unfortunate episode in this sitcom, Matt (Matt LeBlanc) is back on top and leveraging his spurt in the ratings for all it’s worth, handing Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Beverly (Tamsin Greig) a welcome opportunity for escape. Lee and Dean Channel 4, 10.00pm More rough charm, as life gets complicated for Stevenage’s very own Dumb and Dumber when Lee’s (Miles Chapman) financial worries mount and Dean (Mark O’Sullivan) is persuaded to premiere his poetry at the local arts club. Front Row Late BBC Two, 11.05pm; Wales, 11.35pm Freedom of speech and censorship are under the spotlight as host Mary Beard and guests discuss Theatre Clwyd’s production The Assassination of Katie Hopkins and former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright’s new book Fascism: A Warning. GO Alien: Covenant (2017) ★★★★★ Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm The latest film in the Alien saga from Ridley Scott is arguably a mad scientist movie. It follows the crew of the colony ship Covenant (including Katherine Waterson) as they discover what they think is an uncharted paradise, but what they uncover a threat beyond their imagination. Michael Fassbender puts in a spectacular turn as kindly robot David and his twisted “brother” Walter. Invictus (2009) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.45pm Following the death of Nelson Mandela’s ex-wife Winnie last week, aged 81, here’s Clint Eastwood’s take on South Africa’s World Cup victory in 1995. As the country emerges from apartheid, the newly elected President Mandela (an uncanny Morgan Freeman) sees the potential for the national rugby team, led by François Pienaar (Matt Damon), to be a catalyst for harmony. This is a polished and uplifting film. Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl (1982) ★★★★☆ Gold, 1.40am Much like the Secret Policeman’s Ball, this comedy performance film sees the Monty Python gang take to the stage, but this time they’re in Hollywood. Among the sketches are the Silly Olympics, where athletes compete in absurd sports, The Lumberjack Song, and The Ministry of Silly Walks. This film also features Carol Cleveland in numerous supporting roles. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
Friday 6 April The City & the City BBC Two, 9.00pm; Northern Ireland, 9.30pm “I knew there was another city I dare not see… Just on the other side of where I was supposed to look.” So states Inspector Tyador Borlú (David Morrissey) midway through this engrossing adaptation of China Miéville’s Borgesian novel, which achieves the apparently impossible by bringing a dense and clever book to brilliant, atmospheric life. Borlú, a detective with the Extreme Crime Squad in the rundown vaguely Eastern European city of Beszul, is handed the task of solving the murder of a foreign student. So far, so standard, but what unfolds turns out to be anything but as scriptwriter Tony Grisoni (Red Riding) expertly captures Miéville’s vision of a world in which a city is divided not by a wall or barricade, but by blurred realities the populace is trained from birth not to see. Thus the two cities of Beszul and Ul Qoma coexist in the same space but without acknowledging each other, the town hall their only shared space. To look directly on the other city is to commit “Breach”, bringing about the wrath of the secret police. Grisoni and director Tom Shankland build the tension inexorably as Borlú’s world is slowly but surely upended. An absolute treat. Sarah Hughes Sounds Like Friday Night BBC One, 7.30pm The BBC’s music TV revival didn’t make a huge splash with its first series but it’s still worth checking out, if only because co-host and Radio 1Xtra presenter Dotty is such a likeable presence. Tonight, she’s on the road, while Greg James anchors from the studio. Professor Green, Snow Patrol and Years & Years perform. Have I Got News for You BBC One, 9.30pm The satirical quiz show returns for a 55th series, with captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop joined by presenter Steph McGovern and comedian Josh Widdicombe; Jeremy Paxman hosts. The Graham Norton Show BBC One, 10.35pm In an era when the talk show appears tired somehow Graham Norton manages to keep the format enjoyable. Tonight’s episode, the first in a new series, sees husband-and-wife team Emily Blunt and John Krasinski discuss their horror A Quiet Place. Front Row Late BBC Two, 11.05pm; N Ireland, 11.35pm Following the kerfuffle over its poorly received first series, the arts show returns with a rejigged format and Mary Beard in the presenter’s chair. Informed debate is promised, although Beard has said that she won’t simply replicate the notoriously combative Newsnight Review. SH BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm The contest kicks off at the Royal Birmingham Conservatoire’s new concert hall. Presenter Josie d’Arby is joined by 1998 finalist Alison Balsom as we meet the final five: violinists Elodie Chousmer-Howelles and Stephanie Childress, double bassist Will Duerden, guitarist Torrin Williams and cellist Maxim Calver. The judges are double bassist Leon Bosch, classical guitarist Miloš Karadaglić, violinist and previous Young Musician of the Year winner, Jennifer Pike. Composer Kerry Andrew and the contestants will perform works by Bach, Brahms and Stravinsky. The Nineties Sky Arts, 9.00pm There’s nothing like seeing the decade you came of age in co-opted for nostalgic TV to make you feel old, but for those who can bear seeing their youth dissected Sky Arts at least does it well. Tonight’s second episode continues the focus on the decade’s TV with The Sopranos and Seinfeld under discussion. SH Fury (2014) ★★★★★ 5STAR, 9.00pm David Ayer’s study of the habits and habitats of the American killer male is an astonishing, stirring drama. It’s Germany 1945, and Sgt Don “Wardaddy” Collie (Brad Pitt) and his team are grinding towards Berlin in a battered M4 Sherman tank. There is no rescue mission, just an agonising rumble from one brush with death to the next. The set-piece battles are gripping, and the raw terror of war is blasted home. Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) ★★★★☆ Film4, 9.00pm The best of Richard Curtis and Hugh Grant’s romcoms about awfully nice chaps dithering over frightfully pretty girls. Grant plays bumbling Charles, who, ah, er, can’t tell what’s, um, going on between him and the scrummy Carrie (Andie MacDowell), who he keeps, gosh, bumping into at weddings. It’s aged pretty well and certainly knocks spots off Love, Actually. Lawless (2012) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 12.45am An adaptation of the historical novel The Wettest County in the World, John Hillcoat’s Prohibition-era western follows three brothers (played by Tom Hardy, Shia LaBeouf and Jason Clarke), who do a tidy business distilling and selling illegal moonshine whiskey. It’s an oddly affectionate clan portrait – the violence the brothers mete out is implicitly forgiven – but the period detail is well observed. Saturday 7 April Saturday night fever: Declan Donnelly presents from Orlando Credit: Rex/Shutterstock Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway ITV, 7.00pm It can’t be easy hosting a show as exuberant as Saturday Night Takeaway on your own but Declan Donnelly made a solid if understandably restrained go of it last week. He ensured that the light entertainment series proceeded pretty much as normal in the absence of long-time work partner Ant McPartlin, whose travails were sensibly referenced only in very brief passing (“I’ve got twice the amount of work to do,” Donnelly noted at one point before mock-berating the production crew that “I’ll have to do it myself, like everything else around here this week”). That said, this final episode ups the ante as Donnelly takes the show on the road to the Universal Orlando Resort in Florida. Once there we’re promised a “super-sized” edition featuring stunts, surprises and “extra-special” guests. No word yet as to who those guests will be but expect Donnelly to continue making the best of a difficult situation, buoyed by extra support from Scarlett Moffatt, who is in charge of ensuring that the Place on the Plane winners have a wonderful time, and Stephen Mulhern, who has the possibly less than enviable task of explaining In for a Penny to an American audience. Sarah Hughes Premier League Football: Everton v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 12.30pm Tired, perhaps, from their Champions League quarter-final first leg against Man City, Liverpool face their bitter local rivals Everton at Goodison Park. The home side, who’ve won three of their last six games, haven’t beaten Liverpool since October 2010, when Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta gave them a 2-0 victory. Premiership Rugby Union: Bath v Leicester Tigers Channel 5, 1.30pm Time was when Bath and Leicester were the titans of English rugby. Currently they are fifth and eighth in the league, respectively. In September, Bath claimed a 27-23 win at Welford Road, as they held on for their first away win at Leicester since 2003, ensuring an unhappy return for George Ford against the club he left in the summer. The two sides also met in the Anglo-Welsh Cup at the Recreation Ground in November, where Bath also emerged victorious, beating Leicester 33-31 on that occasion. Premier League Football: Manchester City v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 5.30pm What better way for Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City to clinch the title than by beating second-placed Manchester United at the Etihad Stadium. Sixteen points ahead of them in the table, City have been formidable this season, winning 27 of the 31 league games they’ve played. One of those victories came at Old Trafford, with a goal from Nicolas Otamendi giving City a 2-1 victory when these sides met in December. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm Alice Roberts is our guide for this new six-part series, which sees her search the UK for the places that best sum up an historical era. The first era is Roman Britain, so Roberts heads to Chester, where she abseils down walls, hunkers in caves and uncovers the truth about the city. Casualty BBC One, 8.20pm The medical drama’s storyline about Dylan’s (William Beck) alcoholism continues to be sensitively handled as the medic’s ex-wife Sam (Charlotte Salt) worries about whether she can help him. Meanwhile, Ethan (George Hardy) struggles with his own demons as he realises that a patient is related to his brother’s killer. The Voice UK: Live Final ITV, 8.30pm Every reality TV idea has an allotted shelf life and it’s hard not to feel that musical talent contests have come to the end of their run. For those who disagree, The Voice UK’s grand finale is here and the final four battle it out for public approval. Below the Surface BBC Four, 9.00pm & 9.45pm BBC Four’s latest Scandi drama started off tensely but like its predecessor, Modus, it has gone on to become ever more ludicrous. Now it’s the final two episodes, and Philip Norgaard (Johannes Lassen) faces off against Mark (Jakob Oftebro), the man behind the hostage crisis. Much heartfelt talking follows, although you may end up feeling more sympathetic towards the damaged Mark than the chilly Norgaard. Pearl Jam: Let’s Play Two Sky Arts, 9.00pm When is a music documentary not a music documentary? When it’s also a sports film. This exuberant film, which was made following the Chicago Cubs’ victory in baseball’s World Series in 2016, follows die-hard Cubs fan and Pearl Jam lead singer Eddie Vedder as he cheers on his team during their championship run while also preparing the band for two August shows at the team’s Wrigley Field Stadium. The result is an affectionate portrait of the singer as fan. SH Troy: Fall of a City BBC One, 9.10pm David Farr’s epic series reaches its climax with the arrival of the most famous horse in history. After an uninspiring start, Troy has picked up in recent weeks and the final episode is a well-handled tale of betrayal and death. It’s a curate’s egg of a series, let down by poor casting. SH X-Men (2000) ★★★★☆ Film4, 7.00pm Bryan Singer directs an all-star cast that includes Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen and Halle Berry, in the first of the X-Men franchise. A group of mutants must decide whether to side with Professor Xavier (Stewart) or the evil Magneto (McKellen) in what is a solid opening to the series and which paved the way for plenty of big-budget sequels. This is followed by X-Men 2 and X-Men 3 at 9.00pm and 11.35pm respectively. Legend (2015) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 9.00pm Tom Hardy gives a solid, convincing performance as east London gangster Reggie Kray but his caricatured portrayal of twin brother Ronnie lets him down, and this inconsistency leads to an entertaining though muddled film. Emily Browning, however, gives just the right mix of defiance and despair as Frances Shea, Reggie’s put-upon wife. Watch out for some particularly gory scenes. Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) ★★★☆☆ ITV4, 9.05pm Mel Gibson sports his signature Eighties mullet in the second film of this daft-but-fun action franchise. LAPD officer Riggs (Gibson) teams up once again with his partner Murtaugh (Danny Glover) to track down a band of South African criminals while protecting a painfully frenzied witness (Joe Pesci). Naturally, the pair find themselves drawn into violent action sequences orchestrated by stereotypical bad guys. Sunday 8 April Hostess with the mostest: Catherine Tate presents the awards Credit: ITV The Olivier Awards 2018 ITV, 10.20pm Last year, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child swept the board with nine Olivier Awards, something that looked impossible to top. But then came Lin Manuel Miranda’s blockbuster musical Hamilton, whose West End run has received reviews every bit as rapturous as those from its Broadway debut. The show has a record-breaking 13 nominations, which it is thought will be translated into awards. After being snubbed for Jerusalem, Jez Butterworth will surely be rewarded for his equally magisterial play The Ferryman (its eight nominations include best play and best director for Sam Mendes), while contenders in the acting categories include Bryan Cranston for Network, Andrew Garfield for Angels in America and Lesley Manville for Long Day’s Journey into Night. Catherine Tate will be on hosting duties for the event at the Royal Albert Hall, which will, as usual, feature a crop of stellar performances; this one will include a special tribute to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, which turns 50 this year. Let’s hope the organisers bring together Josephs of the past for a big singalong: Jason Donovan, Phillip Schofield, Ian “H” Watkins and Lee Mead will all, one suspects, be available. Gabriel Tate Sex Robots and Us BBC Three, from 10.00am James Young, an amputee who created his own bionic arm, meets the people who design sex robots and hears about their plans for them, from being given to old people’s homes to “employment” in brothels. But is it the harmless, even socially responsible pursuit thatthey claim? Formula 1: The Bahrain Grand Prix Sky Sports F1, 3.30pm After the Australian Grand Prix – in which Sebastian Vettel took advantage of a safety-car blunder to win under pristine Melbourne skies – attention turns to the second round of the season at the Bahrain International Circuit in Sakhir. Another blunder cost Lewis Hamilton on this circuit last year – this time it happened in the pit lane, with Vettel capitalising to win by 6.6 seconds. The Generation Game BBC One, 8.00pm How do you top last week’s cavalcade of silliness in this rebooted game show? You rope in Danny Dyer to join Mel Giedroyc, Sue Perkins and panellists Melvin Odoom and Roisin Conaty for challenges that include cake decorating, balloon modelling and dancing the Argentine Tango. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm In the fourth episode of the popular drama, Larry (Josh O’Connor) visits Athens with two oddly named guests – Captain Creech (James Cosmo) and Prince Jeejeebuoy (Tanmay Dhanania) – in tow. There, they offer advice to Gerry (Milo Parker), who is applying for a new school. Jesus’ Female Disciples: the New Evidence Channel 4, 8.00pm For centuries, the birth of Christianity was regarded as a largely male affair, with women as only bit-part players. Now, Bible experts Helen Bond and Joan Taylor have discovered evidence that women were involved in everything from preaching and baptising to funding the movement as it grew. This absorbing documentary follows the historians’ progress. Golf: The Masters Sky Sports Main Event, 8.00pm Prepare for a dramatic finale as this year’s first Major – from the Augusta National in Georgia – concludes. Last year, Spain’s Sergio Garcia won the coveted green jacket, beating Justin Rose in a tense play-off. Ordeal by Innocence BBC One, 9.00pm Sarah Phelps’s splendid adaptation continues, as Arthur Calgary (Luke Treadaway) resolves to prove the truth about Jack Argyll’s (Anthony Boyle) alibi by any means necessary. GT Folk Awards 2018 BBC Four, 9.00pm Mark Radcliffe and Julie Fowlis introduce highlights from this year’s Radio 2 Folk Awards in Belfast. It features performances from Cara Dillon, Lankum and Eliza Carthy and the Wayward Band. The great Nick Drake will also be inducted into the Hall of Fame, his genius long-established, even if such recognition eluded him during his short life. Producer Dónal Lunny, meanwhile, receives the Lifetime Achievement Award for decades of tireless work promoting the renaissance in Irish music, plus The Armagh Pipers Club are presented with the Good Tradition Award. GT Emma (1996) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 3.00pm Gwyneth Paltrow’s American iciness melts in this deft adaptation of Jane Austen’s classic comic romance. She is Emma Woodhouse, spoilt, charming and an inveterate meddler. Only Mr George Knightley (Jeremy Northam) dares challenge her behaviour – but what are his motives? A clever film with a superb supporting cast, including Toni Collette, Alan Cumming and Ewan McGregor. United 93 (2006) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 9.55pm Director Paul Greengrass’s boneshaking, real-time take on the final hours of the United Airlines plane whose passengers rebelled against their hijackers on September 11, 2001 feels uncomfortably realistic. Greengrass, whose signature rapid cutting made the second and third Bourne films so exciting, proves expert at handling the most infamous atrocity of modern times with intelligence and sobriety. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) ★★★★☆ Channel 4, 11.00pm This superb adaptation of John le Carré’s brilliant, intricate Cold War spy novel is a triumph. The espionage drama follows the hunt for a Soviet double agent at the top of the British secret service, with Gary Oldman spearheading the excellent ensemble cast, which includes Colin Firth, Tom Hardy, John Hurt and Benedict Cumberbatch. It’s funny, seductive and suspenseful. Monday 9 April I spy: a recruit sees if she’s got what it takes to be an SOE agent Credit: BBC Secret Agent Selection: WW2 BBC Two, 9.00pm Not unlike Channel 4’s SAS: Who Dares Wins and BBC Two’s Astronauts: Do You Have What It Takes?, this absorbing new series puts a group of recruits through a series of gruelling physical and psychological challenges to see if they could make the grade as a secret agent according to an established selection test used during the Second World War. This test was used by the Special Operations Executive (SOE) to determine whether recruits from many different walks of life would be capable of being dropped behind enemy lines and surviving as a covert officer with a brief to cause the maximum disruption possible to the enemy in the territory. As with the original SOE, the 14 candidates come from diverse backgrounds (among them a research scientist, a property developer, former police officer, a drag act performer, a retired investment banker and an Army veteran). In the opening episode, they undergo the initial four-day assessment at a remote Scottish country-house estate. The aim is to winnow out weakness and determine who should win a place on the advanced, and suitably terrifying, course in assassination, sabotage and covert intelligence techniques. Gerard O’Donovan Famalam BBC Three, from 10.00am After a successful pilot last year, Vivienne Acheampong, Gbemisola Ikumelo, Roxanne Sternberg, Tom Moutchi and John MacMillan return with more culturally skewed sketches. Once again, they feature William and Funke’s raunchy chat show, misunderstood superhero Eclipse, Croydon’s voodoo practitioner Professor Lofuko, and a version of Midsomer Murders. 800 Words BBC One, 2.15pm If you like The Durrells you will definitely want to watch hit Australian comedy drama 800 Words. This gently funny series follows George (Erik Thomson), a widower, who horrifies his teenaged children when he moves the entire family to a remote seaside town in New Zealand. Springtime on the Farm Channel 5, 8.00pm This is the first of five shows this week celebrating the “great British farmer”, with the help of Yorkshire Vet stars Peter Wright and Julian Norton, Adam Henson of Countryfile and Springwatch’s Lindsey Chapman. In this programme, they explore how to cope with the stresses of lambing. MasterChef: The Finals BBC One, 9.00pm Oodles of challenges lie ahead for the remaining amateur chefs in the final week, which takes them as far afield as Peru ahead of Friday’s concluding cook-off. First, though, they’re off to North Yorkshire to cater a country-house lunch for local grandees and farmers. Lisbon: An Art Lovers’ Guide BBC Four, 9.00pm Having covered Barcelona, St Petersburg and Amsterdam in their first series of city-break guides, historian Dr Janina Ramirez and art critic Alastair Sooke jet off to explore three less obvious, art-rich destinations. Beirut and Baku are perhaps the more intriguing but it opens in Lisbon, which built up its art reserves during the centuries Portugal was part of one of the world’s great empires, and currently boasts one of the hottest contemporary art scenes in Europe. GO Marcella ITV, 9.00pm This drama’s been a little less fraught the second time round but Marcella still pushes the boundaries of credibility. In this concluding part, the heroine (Anna Friel) tracks down the killer, only to suffer one of her unfortunate episodes. GO The Core (2003) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 6.25pm Rome starts to crumble, the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco collapses and pigeons go mental in Trafalgar Square. Something is obviously amiss, and this time it isn’t climate change. In fact, the Earth’s core has stopped rotating and a team of scientists has to build a special burrowing machine to start it spinning again. Hilary Swank, Stanley Tucci and Aaron Eckhart do their best, but the excitement is intermittent. The Emoji Movie (2017) ★☆☆☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 6.30pm In this animated comedy set inside a smartphone, Gene (voiced by T J Miller), an emoji with multiple facial features, sets out on a quest to be like his colleagues who have only one. He does so with the help of apps like Spotify and Candy Crush. Sadly, the result is so horrendous that there aren’t enough Patrick Stewart-voiced emojis in the world to express what an ugly, artless exercise this is. Triple 9 (2016) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm A gang of criminals and corrupt cops plan to kill a police officer in order to pull off their biggest heist yet in John Hillcoat’s crime thriller. There is a lot to like here: a big opening and a strong cast (with Kate Winslet, Gal Gadot, Anthony Mackie and Chiwetel Ejiofor among them). But it feels like fragments of a great crime drama are missing; it’s enthralling up close, but then the big picture isn’t complete. Tuesday 10 April Back to school: Mark, who has two sons with autism Credit: Channel 4 Class of Mum and Dad Channel 4, 8.00pm Another week, another Channel 4 series about education. Hold off on the black marks, however, because this one is pretty good. The premise is simple: Blackrod Primary School just outside of Bolton has thrown open its doors to a class made up of pupils’ parents (and one grandparent). They’ve agreed to go back to school for the summer term to see what modern education is really like, sports day, Sats tests and all. Naturally, its harder than many of them were expecting – 36-year-old decorator Jonny states early on that he thought he’d be able to slope off for a swift cigarette break rather than having to adhere to strict class rules – but there are some touching stories amid the more obvious moments. Most notably, this opening episode focuses on two parents with challenging home lives – Julia, who is raising her 10-year-old cousin Asha after Asha’s mother died, and Mark, who has two autistic sons. While the parents’ travails are interesting, the children are the real scene-stealers, however, from those delighted that their mothers and fathers are taking part to those who are more sceptical. The pair of five-year-olds who spend their time corpsing in front of the camera are particularly endearing. Sarah Hughes Champions League Football: Manchester City v Liverpool BT Sport 2, 7.45pm The Etihad Stadium is the setting as City and Liverpool fight it out for a place in the semi-finals. Liverpool have the advantage following a 3-0 win at Anfield in the first leg. This Time Next Year ITV, 8.00pm Davina McCall returns with another set of heart-tugging stories of people attempting to transform their lives over the course of a year. First up are two new parents who dream of making life wonderful for their baby girl who has been deaf since birth and a couple desperate to start a family. Come Home BBC One, 9.00pm Danny Brocklehurst’s claustrophobic family drama comes to a head as we flashback to find out exactly what went wrong in Greg (Christopher Eccleston) and Marie’s (Paula Malcomson) marriage. Hospital BBC Two, 9.00pm The engrossing fly-on-the-wall medical series continues with Nottingham University Hospitals Trust struggling to cope with the new NHS ruling regarding the cancellation of all non-urgent surgery. The episode focuses on Val, a 55-year-old with mouth cancer whose surgeon is desperately trying to ensure that her operation goes ahead. Here and Now Sky Atlantic, 9.00pm With only two episodes left to go, Alan Ball’s family drama continues to tread water in the most frustrating ways. On paper, there are a whole bunch of interesting stories in the mix, from Kristen’s (Sosie Bacon) possible relationship with Navid (Marwan Salama) to Ramon’s (Daniel Zovatto) continuing visions, but the problem is nothing much happens with any of them as each story moves on only incrementally each week. In this episode, Audrey (Holly Hunter) finally turns the tables on the perpetually smug Greg (Tim Robbins). Cunk on Britain BBC Two, 10.00pm; NI, 11.15pm Diana Morgan’s pitch-perfect send-up of history programmes moves to the Tudor era and beyond as Cunk takes on Henry VIII, aka “The kingiest king who kinged over Britain” before giving us her unique perspective on “Bloody” Mary Tudor (“horrible like the drink”) and Elizabeth I. SH Divorce Sky Atlantic, 10.10pm The acerbic Sarah Jessica Parker sitcom has been firing on all cylinders throughout its second series – possibly because it’s more interesting watching Frances (Parker) and Robert (the excellent Thomas Haden Church) navigate life after divorce than it was watching them get there. Here, Frances tries to make a new contact in the art world. SH Speed (1994) ★★★★☆ Film4, 9.00pm “There’s a bomb on the bus!” is the most famous line and basically the entire plot of one of the best action thrillers of the Nineties. The sizzling chemistry between LAPD Swat specialist Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) and passenger Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock) sexes up the exhilarating action scenes, while Dennis Hopper is fantastically unhinged as a revenge-driven, retired bomb squad member turned terrorist. Fast & Furious 7 (2015) ★★★☆☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Paul Walker was killed in a car crash part-way through making this film so it was completed with the help of his two younger brothers and some subtle computer graphics. The good news is that this is the best film in the franchise and does justice to Walker. It isn’t polished blockbuster film-making – though if it was, it wouldn’t be Fast & Furious. But it speaks straight to your adrenal glands. The Witches of Eastwick (1987) ★★★☆☆ Syfy, 9.00pm It is remarkable that director George Miller’s daft, unfettered romp of a film works at all. But, thanks to Jack Nicholson’s delicious overacting as Daryl Van Horne, a manic gentleman who closely resembles the devil, and the three gorgeous, single small-town friends, Alexandra (Cher), Jane (Susan Sarandon) and Sukie (Michelle Pfeiffer), who vie for his debased attentions, it somehow does. Wednesday 11 April Family ties: Edgar Ramirez and Penelope Cruz Credit: BBC The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story BBC Two, 9.00pm It’s been fascinating to discover the “true” story behind the 1997 murder of fhion designer Gianni Versace in Ryan Murphy’s glitzy drama, which has expertly depicted the inner world of the perpetrator, a Walter Mitty-style serial killer called Andrew Cunanan (a career-defining role for Darren Criss). This episode, however, has a mid-series lull about it as Cunanan ascends to the higher echelons of gay society, shaping himself meticulously into the posh, preppy eye-candy who saw a sugar daddy (or two) as his way to the top. Elsewhere, the Versace siblings return at last. Gianni (Edgar Ramirez), now in failing health decides to champion his insecure sister Donatella (Penélope Cruz in a frightful wig) and turns her into both designer and muse. Despite a lack of characters to root for – the Versaces’ moments of vulnerability dissolve into tedious histrionics and are eclipsed by Cunanan’s cold-blooded machinations – it’s all quite a fabulous mix of fashion, high society and brutal murder, with some interesting commentary on homophobia in the Nineties as well. Vicki Power The Secret Helpers BBC Two, 8.00pm Watch and weep as timid elderly widow Lesley begins a new life as an out gay woman in this life-affirming docu-series. She’s encouraged with warmth and wisdom by amateur “sages” from abroad, who talk to her secretly through a hidden earpiece. From World War to Cold War Yesterday, 8.00pm As the Second World War drew to a close, Churchill, Stalin and Roosevelt met at Yalta in the Crimea to broker post-war peace. This brisk two-part documentary raids the archives for clips and letters from those who attended, and gathers experts and relatives – including FDR’s grandson – to investigate power plays by Stalin that wrong-footed his Allied counterparts. It’s a detailed look at how and why the compromises reached at Yalta were quickly cast aside. Bacchus Uncovered: Ancient God of Ecstasy BBC Four, 9.00pm Historian Bettany Hughes continues to explore ancient civilisations, moving on to Bacchus, the Roman god of wine. Hughes’s odyssey starts under the City of London, where an 1,800-year-old Roman temple to Bacchus was discovered less than 100 years ago, and takes her to Greece, the Middle East and the Caucasus to explore the god’s roots and influence. VP Benidorm ITV, 9.00pm Fluffy as candyfloss, this lewd seaside comedy provides some fun, particularly in the retro casting of stars of yesteryear. This week, an exuberant Sammy (Shane Richie) tries to persuade Monty (John Challis) that, after his successful comeback gig, he is ready for an evening slot. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm This feelgood documentary series brings more poignant tales from a Birmingham labour ward. This week we meet Chantell, about to deliver her third child, who regales us with a moving story of how parenthood with partner Phil has healed the wounds of a traumatic past. First Dates Channel 4, 10.00pm The thoughtful dating show pairs up four more couples, but the road to love is bumpy – septuagenarian Deanna finds her date more interested in the waiter than her. More promising is the match between Bianca and Teza, who allow their vulnerabilities to show. VP The Thin Red Line (1998) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 3.10pm This lyrical Second World War drama, directed by Terrence Malick, tells the story of a group of young US soldiers fighting the Japanese for control of the island of Guadalcanal. Full of stars such as Sean Penn and George Clooney, it struggles with its own battle to squeeze in so many characters but is still an atmospheric meditation on the nature of war. Nick Nolte and Adrien Brody also star. The Remains of the Day (1993) ★★★★☆ Sony Movie Channel, 3.55pm The success of Merchant Ivory’s adaptation of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Thirties-set novel, a well-observed study of regret, is built around its perfectly cast leads: Anthony Hopkins as James, the butler to the doltish aristocrat Lord Darlington (James Fox) and Emma Thompson as a housekeeper who tries to draw him out of his sterile shell. Lush visuals give it an added richness. Transporter 2 (2005) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm A martial arts action sequel, in which Jason Statham and Alessandro Gassman are the sporadically thrilling stars. Statham is Frank Martin, who accepts a job as chauffeur to Jack (Hunter Clary), the son of Miami’s politician Jefferson Billings (Matthew Modine). But the local Colombian drug dealers aren’t happy with his boss’s efforts to clean up the city. Cue a kidnapping, and a potentially deadly encounter with a cocaine baron. Thursday 12 April Changing attitudes: Holly and Hollie Credit: BBC Living with the Brainy Bunch BBC Two, 8.00pm Enterprising, PR-conscious Ash Ali is headmaster of Chessington Community College, a fast-improving school with a few problem pupils. Among them are Jack and Hollie who, on the surface, are comically awful teenagers. Hollie gripes constantly, throws strops and storms out of classrooms if things aren’t going her way. Jack is sullen, lazy and has clocked up 15 suspensions in the past year. It will come as no surprise to regular viewers of such documentaries that their behaviour is rooted in low self-esteem, although their parents unquestionably indulge their foibles. Ali’s novel solution is to place Hollie with Holly, tapdancing head girl and gregarious boffin, and Jack with Tharush, a Sri Lankan immigrant by way of Italy, whose talents are only matched by his work ethic. Now that Jack and Hollie are in the bosom of new families for six weeks, it’s hoped that a new environment, greater discipline and rigid routines will see their results improve and attitudes pick up. There are setbacks on the largely familiar narrative trajectory, but it’s cast to perfection and, as a demonstration of the importance of parenting in academic achievement, the experiment gets an A-star. Gabriel Tate European Tour Golf: The Open de Espana Sky Sports Golf, 11.00am The opening day’s play of the event from the Centro Nacional de Golf in Madrid, which was won by Andrew Johnston the last time it was held in 2016. War Above the Trenches Yesterday, 8.00pm This decent two-parter tells the story of the Royal Flying Corps and their battle to win control of the air in the First World War. Based on Peter Hart’s book Bloody April, it draws affectingly on the testimony of veterans to show there was more to the Western Front than trench warfare. Civilisations BBC Two, 9.00pm The modern age draws closer, as Simon Schama tackles the theme of radiance, guiding us through Gothic cathedrals, Baroque Venetian masterpieces and dazzling Japanese woodblock prints. The Investigator: A British Crime Story ITV, 9.00pm The second real-life case of the series sees Mark Williams-Thomas investigating the 1977 murders of three women in Glasgow. The suspect is Angus Sinclair, who is currently serving a life sentence for killing two other women that same year. We hear from his ex-wife, and learn how he was a prime suspect but escaped charges for the first killings when key evidence went missing. Indian Summer School Channel 4, 9.00pm This diverting documentary series concludes with a Himalayan trek, a controversial article in the school newspaper and the GCSE retakes that were the goal of the entire enterprise. Will Alfie, Harry, Jack and co see their grades improve? Urban Myths: Marilyn Monroe and Billy Wilder Sky Arts, 9.00pm Sky Arts’ boldly cast series of vaguely apocryphal tales from the pop-culture frontlines returns with a dispatch from the set of Some Like It Hot, the magnificent 1959 comedy that is almost certainly more fun to watch than it was to make. In this minor but entertaining reimagining, Tony Curtis (Alex Pettyfer) is threatening to cuckold Arthur Miller (Dougray Scott) by making off with Marilyn Monroe (Gemma Arterton), whose caprice, drinking and sensitivity is driving director Billy Wilder (James Purefoy) to distraction. GT Still Game BBC One, 9.30pm; BBC Two Wales, 10.00pm Justifying its prime-time BBC One slot, the Scottish sitcom bows out in triumph with a typically well-wrought farce involving a Hollywood stuntman, a disastrous driving lesson and romance for the widowed Isa (Jane McCarry). GT The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Christopher Lee steals the show as the titular assassin, Francisco Scaramanga, in this classic Bond adventure. Roger Moore’s secret agent, in his second outing as 007, must pursue him, with the help of sidekick Mary Goodnight (Britt Ekland), to the villain’s island lair in order to prevent him harnessing the power of the Sun for evil. The confrontations between Moore and Lee are easily the film’s highlights. Swordfish (2001) ★★☆☆☆ TCM, 9.00pm The most often quoted bit of trivia about this film is that Halle Berry was paid an additional £500,000 to go topless. It’s rather lucky she agreed because she’s probably the most appealing aspect of this frenetic thriller. John Travolta and Hugh Jackman put on testosterone-fuelled displays as a morally dubious counter-terrorist agent and the hacker he blackmails into accessing billions of dollars of government money. Some Like It Hot (1959, b/w) ★★★★★ Sky Arts, 9.30pm When two musicians (Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis) witness a mob hit, they flee the state disguised as women in an all-female band, but further complications arise in the form of demure ukulele player Sugar Kane, superbly played by Marilyn Monroe. Billy Wilder’s classic comedy is effortlessly wacky and clever. Before, at 9pm, is Urban Myths, which imagines what happened on the set of this romcom. Friday 13 April Dishing out opinions: John Torode and Gregg Wallace Credit: BBC MasterChef: The Final BBC One, 8.30pm It has taken 25 episodes over seven weeks to whittle down the 56 amateur contestants to three finalists, and in the process, MasterChef 2018 has produced some of the best cooking – and some of the toughest competition – in the series’ long history. (It has been running in one form or another since 1990; and since 2005 in, roughly, its current format with judges Gregg Wallace and John Torode presenting.) This last week has been no exception, with the finalists having to dig deeper than ever to produce the best dishes of their lives and some great moments – notably during the spectacular trip to South America when they met Peruvian superchef Gaston Acurio and took on a service at the fifth best restaurant in the world, the Central in Lima, under Michelin-starred maestro Virgilio Martínez Véliz. In the finale, it’s all about who cooks the best food, though, as the final three return to the studio kitchen to undergo a test of culinary skills and nerve as they set about creating the most important three-course meal of their lives – in the hope of being judged worthy of a title that has launched many a great career: MasterChef champion. Gerard O’Donovan Chef’s Table: Pastry Netflix, from today This mouth-watering spin-off from Netflix’s popular global foodie series Chef’s Table puts the focus entirely on sweet stuff, talking the cameras inside the kitchens of some of the world’s best pastry chefs, among them Christina Tosi’s Milk Bar in New York, Corrado Assenza’s Caffé Sicilia in Noto, Sicily, Jordi Roca’s El Celler de Can Roca in Girona, and Will Goldfarb’s Room4Dessert in Bali. Lost in Space Netflix, from today Not so much a rerun as a spectacular new take on the classic Sixties sci-fi series about a family marooned in space when their ship runs into difficulty on their way to a new colony and crashes on an unknown and surprisingly hostile planet. There are plenty of thrills and impressive visual effects, and Toby Stephens and Molly Parker are excellent as the pioneering Robinson parents John and Judy, while Parker Posey is an enigmatic (and now female) Dr Smith. GO The City & The City BBC Two, 9.00pm; Wales, 9.30pm Cop thrillers don’t come much more weirdly dystopian than China Miéville’s award-winning 2009 novel and this ultra-stylish adaptation serves its source material very well. In episode two, Inspector Borlú (David Morrissey) ventures back across the border while investigating the murder of a foreign student. Episodes BBC Two, 10.00pm; Wales, 11.05pm Having overcome last week’s unfortunate episode in this sitcom, Matt (Matt LeBlanc) is back on top and leveraging his spurt in the ratings for all it’s worth, handing Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Beverly (Tamsin Greig) a welcome opportunity for escape. Lee and Dean Channel 4, 10.00pm More rough charm, as life gets complicated for Stevenage’s very own Dumb and Dumber when Lee’s (Miles Chapman) financial worries mount and Dean (Mark O’Sullivan) is persuaded to premiere his poetry at the local arts club. Front Row Late BBC Two, 11.05pm; Wales, 11.35pm Freedom of speech and censorship are under the spotlight as host Mary Beard and guests discuss Theatre Clwyd’s production The Assassination of Katie Hopkins and former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright’s new book Fascism: A Warning. GO Alien: Covenant (2017) ★★★★★ Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm The latest film in the Alien saga from Ridley Scott is arguably a mad scientist movie. It follows the crew of the colony ship Covenant (including Katherine Waterson) as they discover what they think is an uncharted paradise, but what they uncover a threat beyond their imagination. Michael Fassbender puts in a spectacular turn as kindly robot David and his twisted “brother” Walter. Invictus (2009) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.45pm Following the death of Nelson Mandela’s ex-wife Winnie last week, aged 81, here’s Clint Eastwood’s take on South Africa’s World Cup victory in 1995. As the country emerges from apartheid, the newly elected President Mandela (an uncanny Morgan Freeman) sees the potential for the national rugby team, led by François Pienaar (Matt Damon), to be a catalyst for harmony. This is a polished and uplifting film. Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl (1982) ★★★★☆ Gold, 1.40am Much like the Secret Policeman’s Ball, this comedy performance film sees the Monty Python gang take to the stage, but this time they’re in Hollywood. Among the sketches are the Silly Olympics, where athletes compete in absurd sports, The Lumberjack Song, and The Ministry of Silly Walks. This film also features Carol Cleveland in numerous supporting roles. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O&#39;Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
What's on TV tonight: The City & the City, Sounds Like Friday Night and Have I Got News for You
Friday 6 April The City & the City BBC Two, 9.00pm; Northern Ireland, 9.30pm “I knew there was another city I dare not see… Just on the other side of where I was supposed to look.” So states Inspector Tyador Borlú (David Morrissey) midway through this engrossing adaptation of China Miéville’s Borgesian novel, which achieves the apparently impossible by bringing a dense and clever book to brilliant, atmospheric life. Borlú, a detective with the Extreme Crime Squad in the rundown vaguely Eastern European city of Beszul, is handed the task of solving the murder of a foreign student. So far, so standard, but what unfolds turns out to be anything but as scriptwriter Tony Grisoni (Red Riding) expertly captures Miéville’s vision of a world in which a city is divided not by a wall or barricade, but by blurred realities the populace is trained from birth not to see. Thus the two cities of Beszul and Ul Qoma coexist in the same space but without acknowledging each other, the town hall their only shared space. To look directly on the other city is to commit “Breach”, bringing about the wrath of the secret police. Grisoni and director Tom Shankland build the tension inexorably as Borlú’s world is slowly but surely upended. An absolute treat. Sarah Hughes Sounds Like Friday Night BBC One, 7.30pm The BBC’s music TV revival didn’t make a huge splash with its first series but it’s still worth checking out, if only because co-host and Radio 1Xtra presenter Dotty is such a likeable presence. Tonight, she’s on the road, while Greg James anchors from the studio. Professor Green, Snow Patrol and Years & Years perform. Have I Got News for You BBC One, 9.30pm The satirical quiz show returns for a 55th series, with captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop joined by presenter Steph McGovern and comedian Josh Widdicombe; Jeremy Paxman hosts. The Graham Norton Show BBC One, 10.35pm In an era when the talk show appears tired somehow Graham Norton manages to keep the format enjoyable. Tonight’s episode, the first in a new series, sees husband-and-wife team Emily Blunt and John Krasinski discuss their horror A Quiet Place. Front Row Late BBC Two, 11.05pm; N Ireland, 11.35pm Following the kerfuffle over its poorly received first series, the arts show returns with a rejigged format and Mary Beard in the presenter’s chair. Informed debate is promised, although Beard has said that she won’t simply replicate the notoriously combative Newsnight Review. SH BBC Young Musician 2018 BBC Four, 7.30pm The contest kicks off at the Royal Birmingham Conservatoire’s new concert hall. Presenter Josie d’Arby is joined by 1998 finalist Alison Balsom as we meet the final five: violinists Elodie Chousmer-Howelles and Stephanie Childress, double bassist Will Duerden, guitarist Torrin Williams and cellist Maxim Calver. The judges are double bassist Leon Bosch, classical guitarist Miloš Karadaglić, violinist and previous Young Musician of the Year winner, Jennifer Pike. Composer Kerry Andrew and the contestants will perform works by Bach, Brahms and Stravinsky. The Nineties Sky Arts, 9.00pm There’s nothing like seeing the decade you came of age in co-opted for nostalgic TV to make you feel old, but for those who can bear seeing their youth dissected Sky Arts at least does it well. Tonight’s second episode continues the focus on the decade’s TV with The Sopranos and Seinfeld under discussion. SH Fury (2014) ★★★★★ 5STAR, 9.00pm David Ayer’s study of the habits and habitats of the American killer male is an astonishing, stirring drama. It’s Germany 1945, and Sgt Don “Wardaddy” Collie (Brad Pitt) and his team are grinding towards Berlin in a battered M4 Sherman tank. There is no rescue mission, just an agonising rumble from one brush with death to the next. The set-piece battles are gripping, and the raw terror of war is blasted home. Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) ★★★★☆ Film4, 9.00pm The best of Richard Curtis and Hugh Grant’s romcoms about awfully nice chaps dithering over frightfully pretty girls. Grant plays bumbling Charles, who, ah, er, can’t tell what’s, um, going on between him and the scrummy Carrie (Andie MacDowell), who he keeps, gosh, bumping into at weddings. It’s aged pretty well and certainly knocks spots off Love, Actually. Lawless (2012) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 12.45am An adaptation of the historical novel The Wettest County in the World, John Hillcoat’s Prohibition-era western follows three brothers (played by Tom Hardy, Shia LaBeouf and Jason Clarke), who do a tidy business distilling and selling illegal moonshine whiskey. It’s an oddly affectionate clan portrait – the violence the brothers mete out is implicitly forgiven – but the period detail is well observed. Saturday 7 April Saturday night fever: Declan Donnelly presents from Orlando Credit: Rex/Shutterstock Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway ITV, 7.00pm It can’t be easy hosting a show as exuberant as Saturday Night Takeaway on your own but Declan Donnelly made a solid if understandably restrained go of it last week. He ensured that the light entertainment series proceeded pretty much as normal in the absence of long-time work partner Ant McPartlin, whose travails were sensibly referenced only in very brief passing (“I’ve got twice the amount of work to do,” Donnelly noted at one point before mock-berating the production crew that “I’ll have to do it myself, like everything else around here this week”). That said, this final episode ups the ante as Donnelly takes the show on the road to the Universal Orlando Resort in Florida. Once there we’re promised a “super-sized” edition featuring stunts, surprises and “extra-special” guests. No word yet as to who those guests will be but expect Donnelly to continue making the best of a difficult situation, buoyed by extra support from Scarlett Moffatt, who is in charge of ensuring that the Place on the Plane winners have a wonderful time, and Stephen Mulhern, who has the possibly less than enviable task of explaining In for a Penny to an American audience. Sarah Hughes Premier League Football: Everton v Liverpool Sky Sports Main Event, 12.30pm Tired, perhaps, from their Champions League quarter-final first leg against Man City, Liverpool face their bitter local rivals Everton at Goodison Park. The home side, who’ve won three of their last six games, haven’t beaten Liverpool since October 2010, when Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta gave them a 2-0 victory. Premiership Rugby Union: Bath v Leicester Tigers Channel 5, 1.30pm Time was when Bath and Leicester were the titans of English rugby. Currently they are fifth and eighth in the league, respectively. In September, Bath claimed a 27-23 win at Welford Road, as they held on for their first away win at Leicester since 2003, ensuring an unhappy return for George Ford against the club he left in the summer. The two sides also met in the Anglo-Welsh Cup at the Recreation Ground in November, where Bath also emerged victorious, beating Leicester 33-31 on that occasion. Premier League Football: Manchester City v Manchester United Sky Sports Main Event, 5.30pm What better way for Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City to clinch the title than by beating second-placed Manchester United at the Etihad Stadium. Sixteen points ahead of them in the table, City have been formidable this season, winning 27 of the 31 league games they’ve played. One of those victories came at Old Trafford, with a goal from Nicolas Otamendi giving City a 2-1 victory when these sides met in December. Britain’s Most Historic Towns Channel 4, 8.00pm Alice Roberts is our guide for this new six-part series, which sees her search the UK for the places that best sum up an historical era. The first era is Roman Britain, so Roberts heads to Chester, where she abseils down walls, hunkers in caves and uncovers the truth about the city. Casualty BBC One, 8.20pm The medical drama’s storyline about Dylan’s (William Beck) alcoholism continues to be sensitively handled as the medic’s ex-wife Sam (Charlotte Salt) worries about whether she can help him. Meanwhile, Ethan (George Hardy) struggles with his own demons as he realises that a patient is related to his brother’s killer. The Voice UK: Live Final ITV, 8.30pm Every reality TV idea has an allotted shelf life and it’s hard not to feel that musical talent contests have come to the end of their run. For those who disagree, The Voice UK’s grand finale is here and the final four battle it out for public approval. Below the Surface BBC Four, 9.00pm & 9.45pm BBC Four’s latest Scandi drama started off tensely but like its predecessor, Modus, it has gone on to become ever more ludicrous. Now it’s the final two episodes, and Philip Norgaard (Johannes Lassen) faces off against Mark (Jakob Oftebro), the man behind the hostage crisis. Much heartfelt talking follows, although you may end up feeling more sympathetic towards the damaged Mark than the chilly Norgaard. Pearl Jam: Let’s Play Two Sky Arts, 9.00pm When is a music documentary not a music documentary? When it’s also a sports film. This exuberant film, which was made following the Chicago Cubs’ victory in baseball’s World Series in 2016, follows die-hard Cubs fan and Pearl Jam lead singer Eddie Vedder as he cheers on his team during their championship run while also preparing the band for two August shows at the team’s Wrigley Field Stadium. The result is an affectionate portrait of the singer as fan. SH Troy: Fall of a City BBC One, 9.10pm David Farr’s epic series reaches its climax with the arrival of the most famous horse in history. After an uninspiring start, Troy has picked up in recent weeks and the final episode is a well-handled tale of betrayal and death. It’s a curate’s egg of a series, let down by poor casting. SH X-Men (2000) ★★★★☆ Film4, 7.00pm Bryan Singer directs an all-star cast that includes Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen and Halle Berry, in the first of the X-Men franchise. A group of mutants must decide whether to side with Professor Xavier (Stewart) or the evil Magneto (McKellen) in what is a solid opening to the series and which paved the way for plenty of big-budget sequels. This is followed by X-Men 2 and X-Men 3 at 9.00pm and 11.35pm respectively. Legend (2015) ★★★☆☆ Channel 4, 9.00pm Tom Hardy gives a solid, convincing performance as east London gangster Reggie Kray but his caricatured portrayal of twin brother Ronnie lets him down, and this inconsistency leads to an entertaining though muddled film. Emily Browning, however, gives just the right mix of defiance and despair as Frances Shea, Reggie’s put-upon wife. Watch out for some particularly gory scenes. Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) ★★★☆☆ ITV4, 9.05pm Mel Gibson sports his signature Eighties mullet in the second film of this daft-but-fun action franchise. LAPD officer Riggs (Gibson) teams up once again with his partner Murtaugh (Danny Glover) to track down a band of South African criminals while protecting a painfully frenzied witness (Joe Pesci). Naturally, the pair find themselves drawn into violent action sequences orchestrated by stereotypical bad guys. Sunday 8 April Hostess with the mostest: Catherine Tate presents the awards Credit: ITV The Olivier Awards 2018 ITV, 10.20pm Last year, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child swept the board with nine Olivier Awards, something that looked impossible to top. But then came Lin Manuel Miranda’s blockbuster musical Hamilton, whose West End run has received reviews every bit as rapturous as those from its Broadway debut. The show has a record-breaking 13 nominations, which it is thought will be translated into awards. After being snubbed for Jerusalem, Jez Butterworth will surely be rewarded for his equally magisterial play The Ferryman (its eight nominations include best play and best director for Sam Mendes), while contenders in the acting categories include Bryan Cranston for Network, Andrew Garfield for Angels in America and Lesley Manville for Long Day’s Journey into Night. Catherine Tate will be on hosting duties for the event at the Royal Albert Hall, which will, as usual, feature a crop of stellar performances; this one will include a special tribute to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, which turns 50 this year. Let’s hope the organisers bring together Josephs of the past for a big singalong: Jason Donovan, Phillip Schofield, Ian “H” Watkins and Lee Mead will all, one suspects, be available. Gabriel Tate Sex Robots and Us BBC Three, from 10.00am James Young, an amputee who created his own bionic arm, meets the people who design sex robots and hears about their plans for them, from being given to old people’s homes to “employment” in brothels. But is it the harmless, even socially responsible pursuit thatthey claim? Formula 1: The Bahrain Grand Prix Sky Sports F1, 3.30pm After the Australian Grand Prix – in which Sebastian Vettel took advantage of a safety-car blunder to win under pristine Melbourne skies – attention turns to the second round of the season at the Bahrain International Circuit in Sakhir. Another blunder cost Lewis Hamilton on this circuit last year – this time it happened in the pit lane, with Vettel capitalising to win by 6.6 seconds. The Generation Game BBC One, 8.00pm How do you top last week’s cavalcade of silliness in this rebooted game show? You rope in Danny Dyer to join Mel Giedroyc, Sue Perkins and panellists Melvin Odoom and Roisin Conaty for challenges that include cake decorating, balloon modelling and dancing the Argentine Tango. The Durrells ITV, 8.00pm In the fourth episode of the popular drama, Larry (Josh O’Connor) visits Athens with two oddly named guests – Captain Creech (James Cosmo) and Prince Jeejeebuoy (Tanmay Dhanania) – in tow. There, they offer advice to Gerry (Milo Parker), who is applying for a new school. Jesus’ Female Disciples: the New Evidence Channel 4, 8.00pm For centuries, the birth of Christianity was regarded as a largely male affair, with women as only bit-part players. Now, Bible experts Helen Bond and Joan Taylor have discovered evidence that women were involved in everything from preaching and baptising to funding the movement as it grew. This absorbing documentary follows the historians’ progress. Golf: The Masters Sky Sports Main Event, 8.00pm Prepare for a dramatic finale as this year’s first Major – from the Augusta National in Georgia – concludes. Last year, Spain’s Sergio Garcia won the coveted green jacket, beating Justin Rose in a tense play-off. Ordeal by Innocence BBC One, 9.00pm Sarah Phelps’s splendid adaptation continues, as Arthur Calgary (Luke Treadaway) resolves to prove the truth about Jack Argyll’s (Anthony Boyle) alibi by any means necessary. GT Folk Awards 2018 BBC Four, 9.00pm Mark Radcliffe and Julie Fowlis introduce highlights from this year’s Radio 2 Folk Awards in Belfast. It features performances from Cara Dillon, Lankum and Eliza Carthy and the Wayward Band. The great Nick Drake will also be inducted into the Hall of Fame, his genius long-established, even if such recognition eluded him during his short life. Producer Dónal Lunny, meanwhile, receives the Lifetime Achievement Award for decades of tireless work promoting the renaissance in Irish music, plus The Armagh Pipers Club are presented with the Good Tradition Award. GT Emma (1996) ★★★★☆ BBC Two, 3.00pm Gwyneth Paltrow’s American iciness melts in this deft adaptation of Jane Austen’s classic comic romance. She is Emma Woodhouse, spoilt, charming and an inveterate meddler. Only Mr George Knightley (Jeremy Northam) dares challenge her behaviour – but what are his motives? A clever film with a superb supporting cast, including Toni Collette, Alan Cumming and Ewan McGregor. United 93 (2006) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 9.55pm Director Paul Greengrass’s boneshaking, real-time take on the final hours of the United Airlines plane whose passengers rebelled against their hijackers on September 11, 2001 feels uncomfortably realistic. Greengrass, whose signature rapid cutting made the second and third Bourne films so exciting, proves expert at handling the most infamous atrocity of modern times with intelligence and sobriety. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) ★★★★☆ Channel 4, 11.00pm This superb adaptation of John le Carré’s brilliant, intricate Cold War spy novel is a triumph. The espionage drama follows the hunt for a Soviet double agent at the top of the British secret service, with Gary Oldman spearheading the excellent ensemble cast, which includes Colin Firth, Tom Hardy, John Hurt and Benedict Cumberbatch. It’s funny, seductive and suspenseful. Monday 9 April I spy: a recruit sees if she’s got what it takes to be an SOE agent Credit: BBC Secret Agent Selection: WW2 BBC Two, 9.00pm Not unlike Channel 4’s SAS: Who Dares Wins and BBC Two’s Astronauts: Do You Have What It Takes?, this absorbing new series puts a group of recruits through a series of gruelling physical and psychological challenges to see if they could make the grade as a secret agent according to an established selection test used during the Second World War. This test was used by the Special Operations Executive (SOE) to determine whether recruits from many different walks of life would be capable of being dropped behind enemy lines and surviving as a covert officer with a brief to cause the maximum disruption possible to the enemy in the territory. As with the original SOE, the 14 candidates come from diverse backgrounds (among them a research scientist, a property developer, former police officer, a drag act performer, a retired investment banker and an Army veteran). In the opening episode, they undergo the initial four-day assessment at a remote Scottish country-house estate. The aim is to winnow out weakness and determine who should win a place on the advanced, and suitably terrifying, course in assassination, sabotage and covert intelligence techniques. Gerard O’Donovan Famalam BBC Three, from 10.00am After a successful pilot last year, Vivienne Acheampong, Gbemisola Ikumelo, Roxanne Sternberg, Tom Moutchi and John MacMillan return with more culturally skewed sketches. Once again, they feature William and Funke’s raunchy chat show, misunderstood superhero Eclipse, Croydon’s voodoo practitioner Professor Lofuko, and a version of Midsomer Murders. 800 Words BBC One, 2.15pm If you like The Durrells you will definitely want to watch hit Australian comedy drama 800 Words. This gently funny series follows George (Erik Thomson), a widower, who horrifies his teenaged children when he moves the entire family to a remote seaside town in New Zealand. Springtime on the Farm Channel 5, 8.00pm This is the first of five shows this week celebrating the “great British farmer”, with the help of Yorkshire Vet stars Peter Wright and Julian Norton, Adam Henson of Countryfile and Springwatch’s Lindsey Chapman. In this programme, they explore how to cope with the stresses of lambing. MasterChef: The Finals BBC One, 9.00pm Oodles of challenges lie ahead for the remaining amateur chefs in the final week, which takes them as far afield as Peru ahead of Friday’s concluding cook-off. First, though, they’re off to North Yorkshire to cater a country-house lunch for local grandees and farmers. Lisbon: An Art Lovers’ Guide BBC Four, 9.00pm Having covered Barcelona, St Petersburg and Amsterdam in their first series of city-break guides, historian Dr Janina Ramirez and art critic Alastair Sooke jet off to explore three less obvious, art-rich destinations. Beirut and Baku are perhaps the more intriguing but it opens in Lisbon, which built up its art reserves during the centuries Portugal was part of one of the world’s great empires, and currently boasts one of the hottest contemporary art scenes in Europe. GO Marcella ITV, 9.00pm This drama’s been a little less fraught the second time round but Marcella still pushes the boundaries of credibility. In this concluding part, the heroine (Anna Friel) tracks down the killer, only to suffer one of her unfortunate episodes. GO The Core (2003) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 6.25pm Rome starts to crumble, the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco collapses and pigeons go mental in Trafalgar Square. Something is obviously amiss, and this time it isn’t climate change. In fact, the Earth’s core has stopped rotating and a team of scientists has to build a special burrowing machine to start it spinning again. Hilary Swank, Stanley Tucci and Aaron Eckhart do their best, but the excitement is intermittent. The Emoji Movie (2017) ★☆☆☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 6.30pm In this animated comedy set inside a smartphone, Gene (voiced by T J Miller), an emoji with multiple facial features, sets out on a quest to be like his colleagues who have only one. He does so with the help of apps like Spotify and Candy Crush. Sadly, the result is so horrendous that there aren’t enough Patrick Stewart-voiced emojis in the world to express what an ugly, artless exercise this is. Triple 9 (2016) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm A gang of criminals and corrupt cops plan to kill a police officer in order to pull off their biggest heist yet in John Hillcoat’s crime thriller. There is a lot to like here: a big opening and a strong cast (with Kate Winslet, Gal Gadot, Anthony Mackie and Chiwetel Ejiofor among them). But it feels like fragments of a great crime drama are missing; it’s enthralling up close, but then the big picture isn’t complete. Tuesday 10 April Back to school: Mark, who has two sons with autism Credit: Channel 4 Class of Mum and Dad Channel 4, 8.00pm Another week, another Channel 4 series about education. Hold off on the black marks, however, because this one is pretty good. The premise is simple: Blackrod Primary School just outside of Bolton has thrown open its doors to a class made up of pupils’ parents (and one grandparent). They’ve agreed to go back to school for the summer term to see what modern education is really like, sports day, Sats tests and all. Naturally, its harder than many of them were expecting – 36-year-old decorator Jonny states early on that he thought he’d be able to slope off for a swift cigarette break rather than having to adhere to strict class rules – but there are some touching stories amid the more obvious moments. Most notably, this opening episode focuses on two parents with challenging home lives – Julia, who is raising her 10-year-old cousin Asha after Asha’s mother died, and Mark, who has two autistic sons. While the parents’ travails are interesting, the children are the real scene-stealers, however, from those delighted that their mothers and fathers are taking part to those who are more sceptical. The pair of five-year-olds who spend their time corpsing in front of the camera are particularly endearing. Sarah Hughes Champions League Football: Manchester City v Liverpool BT Sport 2, 7.45pm The Etihad Stadium is the setting as City and Liverpool fight it out for a place in the semi-finals. Liverpool have the advantage following a 3-0 win at Anfield in the first leg. This Time Next Year ITV, 8.00pm Davina McCall returns with another set of heart-tugging stories of people attempting to transform their lives over the course of a year. First up are two new parents who dream of making life wonderful for their baby girl who has been deaf since birth and a couple desperate to start a family. Come Home BBC One, 9.00pm Danny Brocklehurst’s claustrophobic family drama comes to a head as we flashback to find out exactly what went wrong in Greg (Christopher Eccleston) and Marie’s (Paula Malcomson) marriage. Hospital BBC Two, 9.00pm The engrossing fly-on-the-wall medical series continues with Nottingham University Hospitals Trust struggling to cope with the new NHS ruling regarding the cancellation of all non-urgent surgery. The episode focuses on Val, a 55-year-old with mouth cancer whose surgeon is desperately trying to ensure that her operation goes ahead. Here and Now Sky Atlantic, 9.00pm With only two episodes left to go, Alan Ball’s family drama continues to tread water in the most frustrating ways. On paper, there are a whole bunch of interesting stories in the mix, from Kristen’s (Sosie Bacon) possible relationship with Navid (Marwan Salama) to Ramon’s (Daniel Zovatto) continuing visions, but the problem is nothing much happens with any of them as each story moves on only incrementally each week. In this episode, Audrey (Holly Hunter) finally turns the tables on the perpetually smug Greg (Tim Robbins). Cunk on Britain BBC Two, 10.00pm; NI, 11.15pm Diana Morgan’s pitch-perfect send-up of history programmes moves to the Tudor era and beyond as Cunk takes on Henry VIII, aka “The kingiest king who kinged over Britain” before giving us her unique perspective on “Bloody” Mary Tudor (“horrible like the drink”) and Elizabeth I. SH Divorce Sky Atlantic, 10.10pm The acerbic Sarah Jessica Parker sitcom has been firing on all cylinders throughout its second series – possibly because it’s more interesting watching Frances (Parker) and Robert (the excellent Thomas Haden Church) navigate life after divorce than it was watching them get there. Here, Frances tries to make a new contact in the art world. SH Speed (1994) ★★★★☆ Film4, 9.00pm “There’s a bomb on the bus!” is the most famous line and basically the entire plot of one of the best action thrillers of the Nineties. The sizzling chemistry between LAPD Swat specialist Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) and passenger Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock) sexes up the exhilarating action scenes, while Dennis Hopper is fantastically unhinged as a revenge-driven, retired bomb squad member turned terrorist. Fast & Furious 7 (2015) ★★★☆☆ ITV2, 9.00pm Paul Walker was killed in a car crash part-way through making this film so it was completed with the help of his two younger brothers and some subtle computer graphics. The good news is that this is the best film in the franchise and does justice to Walker. It isn’t polished blockbuster film-making – though if it was, it wouldn’t be Fast & Furious. But it speaks straight to your adrenal glands. The Witches of Eastwick (1987) ★★★☆☆ Syfy, 9.00pm It is remarkable that director George Miller’s daft, unfettered romp of a film works at all. But, thanks to Jack Nicholson’s delicious overacting as Daryl Van Horne, a manic gentleman who closely resembles the devil, and the three gorgeous, single small-town friends, Alexandra (Cher), Jane (Susan Sarandon) and Sukie (Michelle Pfeiffer), who vie for his debased attentions, it somehow does. Wednesday 11 April Family ties: Edgar Ramirez and Penelope Cruz Credit: BBC The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story BBC Two, 9.00pm It’s been fascinating to discover the “true” story behind the 1997 murder of fhion designer Gianni Versace in Ryan Murphy’s glitzy drama, which has expertly depicted the inner world of the perpetrator, a Walter Mitty-style serial killer called Andrew Cunanan (a career-defining role for Darren Criss). This episode, however, has a mid-series lull about it as Cunanan ascends to the higher echelons of gay society, shaping himself meticulously into the posh, preppy eye-candy who saw a sugar daddy (or two) as his way to the top. Elsewhere, the Versace siblings return at last. Gianni (Edgar Ramirez), now in failing health decides to champion his insecure sister Donatella (Penélope Cruz in a frightful wig) and turns her into both designer and muse. Despite a lack of characters to root for – the Versaces’ moments of vulnerability dissolve into tedious histrionics and are eclipsed by Cunanan’s cold-blooded machinations – it’s all quite a fabulous mix of fashion, high society and brutal murder, with some interesting commentary on homophobia in the Nineties as well. Vicki Power The Secret Helpers BBC Two, 8.00pm Watch and weep as timid elderly widow Lesley begins a new life as an out gay woman in this life-affirming docu-series. She’s encouraged with warmth and wisdom by amateur “sages” from abroad, who talk to her secretly through a hidden earpiece. From World War to Cold War Yesterday, 8.00pm As the Second World War drew to a close, Churchill, Stalin and Roosevelt met at Yalta in the Crimea to broker post-war peace. This brisk two-part documentary raids the archives for clips and letters from those who attended, and gathers experts and relatives – including FDR’s grandson – to investigate power plays by Stalin that wrong-footed his Allied counterparts. It’s a detailed look at how and why the compromises reached at Yalta were quickly cast aside. Bacchus Uncovered: Ancient God of Ecstasy BBC Four, 9.00pm Historian Bettany Hughes continues to explore ancient civilisations, moving on to Bacchus, the Roman god of wine. Hughes’s odyssey starts under the City of London, where an 1,800-year-old Roman temple to Bacchus was discovered less than 100 years ago, and takes her to Greece, the Middle East and the Caucasus to explore the god’s roots and influence. VP Benidorm ITV, 9.00pm Fluffy as candyfloss, this lewd seaside comedy provides some fun, particularly in the retro casting of stars of yesteryear. This week, an exuberant Sammy (Shane Richie) tries to persuade Monty (John Challis) that, after his successful comeback gig, he is ready for an evening slot. One Born Every Minute Channel 4, 9.00pm This feelgood documentary series brings more poignant tales from a Birmingham labour ward. This week we meet Chantell, about to deliver her third child, who regales us with a moving story of how parenthood with partner Phil has healed the wounds of a traumatic past. First Dates Channel 4, 10.00pm The thoughtful dating show pairs up four more couples, but the road to love is bumpy – septuagenarian Deanna finds her date more interested in the waiter than her. More promising is the match between Bianca and Teza, who allow their vulnerabilities to show. VP The Thin Red Line (1998) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 3.10pm This lyrical Second World War drama, directed by Terrence Malick, tells the story of a group of young US soldiers fighting the Japanese for control of the island of Guadalcanal. Full of stars such as Sean Penn and George Clooney, it struggles with its own battle to squeeze in so many characters but is still an atmospheric meditation on the nature of war. Nick Nolte and Adrien Brody also star. The Remains of the Day (1993) ★★★★☆ Sony Movie Channel, 3.55pm The success of Merchant Ivory’s adaptation of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Thirties-set novel, a well-observed study of regret, is built around its perfectly cast leads: Anthony Hopkins as James, the butler to the doltish aristocrat Lord Darlington (James Fox) and Emma Thompson as a housekeeper who tries to draw him out of his sterile shell. Lush visuals give it an added richness. Transporter 2 (2005) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm A martial arts action sequel, in which Jason Statham and Alessandro Gassman are the sporadically thrilling stars. Statham is Frank Martin, who accepts a job as chauffeur to Jack (Hunter Clary), the son of Miami’s politician Jefferson Billings (Matthew Modine). But the local Colombian drug dealers aren’t happy with his boss’s efforts to clean up the city. Cue a kidnapping, and a potentially deadly encounter with a cocaine baron. Thursday 12 April Changing attitudes: Holly and Hollie Credit: BBC Living with the Brainy Bunch BBC Two, 8.00pm Enterprising, PR-conscious Ash Ali is headmaster of Chessington Community College, a fast-improving school with a few problem pupils. Among them are Jack and Hollie who, on the surface, are comically awful teenagers. Hollie gripes constantly, throws strops and storms out of classrooms if things aren’t going her way. Jack is sullen, lazy and has clocked up 15 suspensions in the past year. It will come as no surprise to regular viewers of such documentaries that their behaviour is rooted in low self-esteem, although their parents unquestionably indulge their foibles. Ali’s novel solution is to place Hollie with Holly, tapdancing head girl and gregarious boffin, and Jack with Tharush, a Sri Lankan immigrant by way of Italy, whose talents are only matched by his work ethic. Now that Jack and Hollie are in the bosom of new families for six weeks, it’s hoped that a new environment, greater discipline and rigid routines will see their results improve and attitudes pick up. There are setbacks on the largely familiar narrative trajectory, but it’s cast to perfection and, as a demonstration of the importance of parenting in academic achievement, the experiment gets an A-star. Gabriel Tate European Tour Golf: The Open de Espana Sky Sports Golf, 11.00am The opening day’s play of the event from the Centro Nacional de Golf in Madrid, which was won by Andrew Johnston the last time it was held in 2016. War Above the Trenches Yesterday, 8.00pm This decent two-parter tells the story of the Royal Flying Corps and their battle to win control of the air in the First World War. Based on Peter Hart’s book Bloody April, it draws affectingly on the testimony of veterans to show there was more to the Western Front than trench warfare. Civilisations BBC Two, 9.00pm The modern age draws closer, as Simon Schama tackles the theme of radiance, guiding us through Gothic cathedrals, Baroque Venetian masterpieces and dazzling Japanese woodblock prints. The Investigator: A British Crime Story ITV, 9.00pm The second real-life case of the series sees Mark Williams-Thomas investigating the 1977 murders of three women in Glasgow. The suspect is Angus Sinclair, who is currently serving a life sentence for killing two other women that same year. We hear from his ex-wife, and learn how he was a prime suspect but escaped charges for the first killings when key evidence went missing. Indian Summer School Channel 4, 9.00pm This diverting documentary series concludes with a Himalayan trek, a controversial article in the school newspaper and the GCSE retakes that were the goal of the entire enterprise. Will Alfie, Harry, Jack and co see their grades improve? Urban Myths: Marilyn Monroe and Billy Wilder Sky Arts, 9.00pm Sky Arts’ boldly cast series of vaguely apocryphal tales from the pop-culture frontlines returns with a dispatch from the set of Some Like It Hot, the magnificent 1959 comedy that is almost certainly more fun to watch than it was to make. In this minor but entertaining reimagining, Tony Curtis (Alex Pettyfer) is threatening to cuckold Arthur Miller (Dougray Scott) by making off with Marilyn Monroe (Gemma Arterton), whose caprice, drinking and sensitivity is driving director Billy Wilder (James Purefoy) to distraction. GT Still Game BBC One, 9.30pm; BBC Two Wales, 10.00pm Justifying its prime-time BBC One slot, the Scottish sitcom bows out in triumph with a typically well-wrought farce involving a Hollywood stuntman, a disastrous driving lesson and romance for the widowed Isa (Jane McCarry). GT The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 9.00pm Christopher Lee steals the show as the titular assassin, Francisco Scaramanga, in this classic Bond adventure. Roger Moore’s secret agent, in his second outing as 007, must pursue him, with the help of sidekick Mary Goodnight (Britt Ekland), to the villain’s island lair in order to prevent him harnessing the power of the Sun for evil. The confrontations between Moore and Lee are easily the film’s highlights. Swordfish (2001) ★★☆☆☆ TCM, 9.00pm The most often quoted bit of trivia about this film is that Halle Berry was paid an additional £500,000 to go topless. It’s rather lucky she agreed because she’s probably the most appealing aspect of this frenetic thriller. John Travolta and Hugh Jackman put on testosterone-fuelled displays as a morally dubious counter-terrorist agent and the hacker he blackmails into accessing billions of dollars of government money. Some Like It Hot (1959, b/w) ★★★★★ Sky Arts, 9.30pm When two musicians (Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis) witness a mob hit, they flee the state disguised as women in an all-female band, but further complications arise in the form of demure ukulele player Sugar Kane, superbly played by Marilyn Monroe. Billy Wilder’s classic comedy is effortlessly wacky and clever. Before, at 9pm, is Urban Myths, which imagines what happened on the set of this romcom. Friday 13 April Dishing out opinions: John Torode and Gregg Wallace Credit: BBC MasterChef: The Final BBC One, 8.30pm It has taken 25 episodes over seven weeks to whittle down the 56 amateur contestants to three finalists, and in the process, MasterChef 2018 has produced some of the best cooking – and some of the toughest competition – in the series’ long history. (It has been running in one form or another since 1990; and since 2005 in, roughly, its current format with judges Gregg Wallace and John Torode presenting.) This last week has been no exception, with the finalists having to dig deeper than ever to produce the best dishes of their lives and some great moments – notably during the spectacular trip to South America when they met Peruvian superchef Gaston Acurio and took on a service at the fifth best restaurant in the world, the Central in Lima, under Michelin-starred maestro Virgilio Martínez Véliz. In the finale, it’s all about who cooks the best food, though, as the final three return to the studio kitchen to undergo a test of culinary skills and nerve as they set about creating the most important three-course meal of their lives – in the hope of being judged worthy of a title that has launched many a great career: MasterChef champion. Gerard O’Donovan Chef’s Table: Pastry Netflix, from today This mouth-watering spin-off from Netflix’s popular global foodie series Chef’s Table puts the focus entirely on sweet stuff, talking the cameras inside the kitchens of some of the world’s best pastry chefs, among them Christina Tosi’s Milk Bar in New York, Corrado Assenza’s Caffé Sicilia in Noto, Sicily, Jordi Roca’s El Celler de Can Roca in Girona, and Will Goldfarb’s Room4Dessert in Bali. Lost in Space Netflix, from today Not so much a rerun as a spectacular new take on the classic Sixties sci-fi series about a family marooned in space when their ship runs into difficulty on their way to a new colony and crashes on an unknown and surprisingly hostile planet. There are plenty of thrills and impressive visual effects, and Toby Stephens and Molly Parker are excellent as the pioneering Robinson parents John and Judy, while Parker Posey is an enigmatic (and now female) Dr Smith. GO The City & The City BBC Two, 9.00pm; Wales, 9.30pm Cop thrillers don’t come much more weirdly dystopian than China Miéville’s award-winning 2009 novel and this ultra-stylish adaptation serves its source material very well. In episode two, Inspector Borlú (David Morrissey) ventures back across the border while investigating the murder of a foreign student. Episodes BBC Two, 10.00pm; Wales, 11.05pm Having overcome last week’s unfortunate episode in this sitcom, Matt (Matt LeBlanc) is back on top and leveraging his spurt in the ratings for all it’s worth, handing Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Beverly (Tamsin Greig) a welcome opportunity for escape. Lee and Dean Channel 4, 10.00pm More rough charm, as life gets complicated for Stevenage’s very own Dumb and Dumber when Lee’s (Miles Chapman) financial worries mount and Dean (Mark O’Sullivan) is persuaded to premiere his poetry at the local arts club. Front Row Late BBC Two, 11.05pm; Wales, 11.35pm Freedom of speech and censorship are under the spotlight as host Mary Beard and guests discuss Theatre Clwyd’s production The Assassination of Katie Hopkins and former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright’s new book Fascism: A Warning. GO Alien: Covenant (2017) ★★★★★ Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm The latest film in the Alien saga from Ridley Scott is arguably a mad scientist movie. It follows the crew of the colony ship Covenant (including Katherine Waterson) as they discover what they think is an uncharted paradise, but what they uncover a threat beyond their imagination. Michael Fassbender puts in a spectacular turn as kindly robot David and his twisted “brother” Walter. Invictus (2009) ★★★★☆ ITV, 10.45pm Following the death of Nelson Mandela’s ex-wife Winnie last week, aged 81, here’s Clint Eastwood’s take on South Africa’s World Cup victory in 1995. As the country emerges from apartheid, the newly elected President Mandela (an uncanny Morgan Freeman) sees the potential for the national rugby team, led by François Pienaar (Matt Damon), to be a catalyst for harmony. This is a polished and uplifting film. Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl (1982) ★★★★☆ Gold, 1.40am Much like the Secret Policeman’s Ball, this comedy performance film sees the Monty Python gang take to the stage, but this time they’re in Hollywood. Among the sketches are the Silly Olympics, where athletes compete in absurd sports, The Lumberjack Song, and The Ministry of Silly Walks. This film also features Carol Cleveland in numerous supporting roles. Television previewers Toby Dantzic, Sarah Hughes, Gerard O'Donovan, Vicki Power and Gabriel Tate
FILE PHOTO: England&#39;s Dylan Hartley, sings the national anthem before the Rugby Union Six Nations Championship match between England and Ireland at Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain, March 17, 2018. REUTERS/Toby Melville/File Photo
FILE PHOTO: England's Dylan Hartley, sings the national anthem before the Rugby Union Six Nations Championship match between England and Ireland at Twickenham Stadium, London
FILE PHOTO: England's Dylan Hartley, sings the national anthem before the Rugby Union Six Nations Championship match between England and Ireland at Twickenham Stadium, London, Britain, March 17, 2018. REUTERS/Toby Melville/File Photo