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New Zeland's Lima Sopoaga in action with Italy's Francesco Minto

Britain Rugby Union - Italy vs New Zealand - Stadio Olimpico, Rome, Italy - 12/11/16 New Zeland's Lima Sopoaga in action with Italy's Francesco Minto Reuters / Tony Gentile Livepic

Rugby Union - RugbyU: Wallabies overlook Hunt for All Blacks clash

Karmichael Hunt of Australia passes the ball during the international rugby match between Australia and Italy at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane on June 24, 2017. (AFP Photo/Patrick HAMILTON)

New Zeland's Lima Sopoaga in action with Italy's Francesco Minto

Britain Rugby Union - Italy vs New Zealand - Stadio Olimpico, Rome, Italy - 12/11/16 New Zeland's Lima Sopoaga in action with Italy's Francesco Minto Reuters / Tony Gentile Livepic

Rugby Union - O'Shea names five new caps in Italy squad

${nitf} (AFP Photo/GABRIEL BOUYS)

What's on TV tonight: The Graham Norton Show and Cold Feet

FRIDAY 29 SEPTEMBER THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW BBC One, 10.35pm Third from the top of the BBC’s recently published list of its highest earners (at between £850,000 and £899,000 a year), Graham Norton returns to the Friday evening schedules – as sure a sign that the nights are drawing in as the return of Strictly Come Dancing and The X Factor at the weekends.  The fact is Norton is a big draw not only for audiences but for celebrities, too, and he consistently eclipses every other UK chat show host when it comes to attracting the biggest stars from home and abroad to have a natter on his curvy red sofa.  Visiting Hollywood actors appear to be especially enamoured and that’s certainly the case in tonight’s show as Stars Wars and Indiana Jones star Harrison Ford and La La Land’s Ryan Gosling turn up to talk about their new sci-fi sequel Blade Runner 2049. Also making an appearance is Reese Witherspoon, who, fresh from the success of Big Little Lies at the Emmy Awards, is on hand to plug her latest comedy Home Again, while Margot Robbie (who is in Time magazine’s list of 2017’s most influential people) brings at least a hint of Britishness with talk of her new AA Milne biopic, Goodbye Christopher Robin. GO STARTUP Amazon Prime, from today Series one of this Miami-based drama, about entrepreneurs financing tech start-ups with dirty money, got a mixed reaction. But now it gets a deserved second season, with Martin Freeman returning as the exceedingly nasty FBI agent Phil Rask. Ron Perlman also joins the cast as the mercurial moneyman behind the latest venture.  GO LONG SHOT Netflix, from today A needle-in-haystack documentary, featuring Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Larry David, about how the fate of a man accused of murder rested on proving he was in a crowd of 54,000 people at a baseball game.  GO ONE-DAY INTERNATIONAL CRICKET: England v West Indies Sky Sports Main Event, 12.00noon Action from the fifth and final fixture in the series, which takes place at the Ageas Bowl in Southampton. Can Eoin Morgan’s men bring the curtain down on England’s summer endeavours in style? GO UNREPORTED WORLD Channel 4, 7.30pm The foreign affairs series returns with Marcel Theroux reporting on an unlikely explosion of home-grown pop music in China. These groups are working in defiance of the country’s censorship and against a government crackdown on authority-defying acts. GO BRITAIN BY BIKE WITH LARRY & GEORGE LAMB Channel 5, 8.00pm The father-and-son team of George and Larry Lamb take to two wheels for a convivial trip around Britain’s best national park cycle routes. They begin in the Yorkshire Dales, where they try fly-fishing and rock climbing before tackling a section of the 2014 Tour de France route. GO THE LAST PIRATES: BRITAIN’S REBEL DJS BBC Four, 9.00pm Forget Radio Caroline and Radio Luxembourg – rapper Rodney P tells the story of how, in the Eighties, a new wave of pirate radio stations created a platform for emerging rap artists and changed the soundtrack of Thatcher’s Britain. GO COLD FEET ITV, 9.00pm The focus of Mike Bullen’s entertaining comedy drama returns to the tangled love life of Adam (James Nesbitt) as his girlfriend Tina (Leanne Best) falls victim to online revenge porn. Meanwhile, Karen (Hermione Norris) is aided by an unlikely white knight in her fight against the hostile takeover bid. GO A CELEBRITY TASTE OF ITALY Channel 5, 9.00pm Nice work if you can get it: Ian Lavender, Rula Lenska, Judith Chalmers and Johnny Ball head to a luxury villa in Italy for a masterclass in how to prepare the best local foods and wines. This week, the enticing flavours of Tuscany. GO OUR SOULS AT NIGHT (2017) Netflix, from today  ★★★☆☆ Jane Fonda and Robert Redford – whose three-film partnership in the Sixties and Seventies, across The Chase, Barefoot in the Park and The Electric Horseman, set them apart as one of the most indecently gorgeous screen couples the movies ever produced – are on fizzing form in this cosy autumnal romance as two widowed neighbours who begin sleeping in bed together platonically to alleviate their loneliness. FLETCH (1985) Film4, 6.55pm  ★★★☆☆ Chevy Chase delivers dry one-liners and physical slapstick in this breezy comedy film that saw the peak of the actor’s career. Based on a series of novels by Gregory McDonald, the cult movie, which is one of the more quotable comedies of the Eighties, stars Chase as Fletch, a smart alec investigative reporter for an LA newspaper who is approached by a wealthy man who asks Fletch to kill him. UP IN THE AIR (2009) BBC One, 11.55pm  ★★★★☆ Jason Reitman (whose second film Juno earned him Oscar nominations) directs this witty love story. Ryan (George Clooney) is a downsizing expert, who flies around the US and fires people. That is, until a graduate (Anna Kendrick) proposes to save on airfares by getting staff to carry out sackings via video. Bingham is not happy; he likes the high life, and he likes fellow flyer Alex (Vera Farmiga). Saturday 30 September Popular poetry: how Auden still connects with modern life Credit: Getty Images Stop All the Clocks: WH Auden in an Age of Anxiety BBC Two, 9.00pm; Wales, 10.30pm As anyone who’s seen Richard Curtis’s film Four Weddings and a Funeral will attest, W H Auden’s poetry has considerable emotional potency. Indeed, those not reduced to tears at the sight of John Hannah reading Stop All the Clocks should consult their doctor as soon as possible. (“He was my North, my South, my East and West/My working week and my Sunday rest/My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song/I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.”) His words also provide succour in troubled times: many New Yorkers, in fact, turned to his poem September 1, 1939 – a response to the outbreak of the Second World War – in the aftermath of 9/11.  Launching a season of poetry programmes, this excellent documentary from director Adam Low looks at why the craggy-faced Auden – whose reputation in Britain soured after his decision to move to America in 1939 – still has a great hold on our imaginations. Among those paying tribute to Auden’s words – a mix of humanity, scepticism and unsuppressed honesty – are writers Alan Bennett, Alexander McCall Smith and Curtis, who studied Auden at university. Patrick Smith Live Premier League Football: Chelsea v Manchester City BT Sport 1, 5.00pm The two teams’ last encounter at Stamford Bridge in April ended well for Chelsea, who won 2-1, thanks to a brace from Eden Hazard. But City have looked imperious this season: unbeaten in the league, they’ve won five of their six matches. Third-placed Chelsea go into this game with momentum from an impressive 4-0 victory at Stoke. In terms of their starting line-up, Pep Guardiola’s side must cope without summer signing Benjamin Mendy; the French full-back is currently sidelined with a ligament injury.  Strictly Come Dancing BBC One, 6.45pm This year’s competition is full of characters – from the divine Reverend Richard Coles and his disco-dad dancing to the gleefully giddy Debbie McGee – but tonight they must all impress not just the judges but the viewers, too: the first couple will be voted off in tomorrow’s results show.   Britain Afloat BBC Two, 8.00pm; N Ireland, 8.30pm Throughout our history, boats have played a major role and, in this new six-part series, Mary-Ann Ochota travels Britain’s waterways to see how they shaped our lives. Here, she explores the role boats played at Dunkirk and joins the Thames Barge match. The X Factor: Boot Camp ITV, 8.00pm Now that the auditions are over, it’s time for the lucky hopefuls to take part in Boot Camp. Those who manage to impress judges Simon, Nicole, Sharon and Louis will go through to the dreaded Six Chair Challenge. More tomorrow at 7.30pm.  The Doors Night Sky Arts, from 8.00pm In 1967, The Doors broke on through, releasing a string of hit singles and two platinum albums. With their intoxicating blend of blues, jazz and poetry, they exploded into the public consciousness, becoming one of the soundtracks to the Summer of Love. Now, 50 years later, Sky Arts is dedicating an evening of programming to the quartet, whose name is a reference to Aldous Huxley’s Doors of Perception. First up, in Rock Poet, is a fascinating profile of The Doors’ shamanistic frontman Jim Morrison, who died aged 27. Next is The Doors: Feast of Friends, which follows the band on the road. Rounding off the night is footage of their famous 1968 concert at the Hollywood Bowl. Black Lake BBC Four, 9.00pm and 9.40pm This fun Swedish supernatural chiller reaches its penultimate episodes, and there’s something nasty lurking in the cellar at the ski lodge, leaving the gang in a state of shock. PS The Jonathan Ross Show ITV, 9.30pm US singer Demi Lovato is on Jonathan Ross’s guest list as she promotes her “intimate” documentary Simply Complicated. She is joined by Doc Martin’s Martin Clunes and This Morning’s Holly Willoughby. The music comes from The X Factor 2012 winner James Arthur. Clive Morgan Now You See Me (2013) ★★☆☆☆ Channel 4, 9.00pm  A group of illusionists (Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher and Dave Franco) are encouraged to carry out a string of heists by a mysterious figure, while remaining ahead of FBI agent Rhodes (Mark Ruffalo), who is desperate to bring them to justice. Director Louis Leterrier tries to mimic the complex plots of films such as Inception, but with less success, though it’s reasonably entertaining. Transcendence (2014) ★★☆☆☆ Channel 4, 11.15pm  Johnny Depp and Rebecca Hall star as Will and Evelyn Caster, married artificial-intelligence scientists who download his brain patterns to a hard drive. This isn’t a casual choice: at a state-of-the-future convention, Will is grazed by a would-be assassin’s bullet, which is laced with a radioactive isotope, giving him weeks to live. The film, co-starring Cillian Murphy, is visually stylish but let down by poor storytelling. The Edge of Love (2008) ★★★☆☆ BBC Two, 11.35pm; Wales, 1.05am; not Scot  A fascinating story set during the Second World War about poet Dylan Thomas’s (Matthew Rhys) relationships with two women: his hedonistic Irish wife (Sienna Miller) and his Welsh childhood lover (Keira Knightley). An intense Jules et Jim-esque set-up develops, but the film could do with more about the art and less about the artist’s love life. It’s scripted by Knightley’s mother. Sunday 1 October Bad girl: Jessica Raine stars as military wife Alison Credit: BBC The Last Post BBC One, 9.00pm This intriguing six-part drama, scripted by playwright Peter Moffat, is set against an unusual backdrop – the mid-Sixties conflict that took place in the then British Crown Colony of Aden on the southern Arabian peninsula. Jessica Raine is the star attraction in the bad-girl role of Alison, the drunken, unhappy and unfaithful wife of conscientious but undervalued military policeman Lieutenant Ed Laithwaite (Stephen Campbell Moore).  The atmosphere of unrelenting heat and dust is very well conveyed, as is the day-to-day tedium of life for military wives on a Royal Military Police base and the hierarchies of rank that must be observed. We get the full introduction in this opening episode as newlyweds Captain Joe Martin (Jeremy Neumark Jones) and his wife Honor (Jessie Buckley) arrive on the base as the going-away party for the popular man he’s replacing, Captain Page (Joseph Kennedy), is in full swing. Meanwhile, Laithwaite receives information that an attack on the base by rebel fighters is imminent, but his commanding officer, Major Markham (Ben Miles) refuses to take his warnings seriously. What happens next is not as obvious as you might expect. Gerard O’Donovan Live Formula 1: Malaysia Grand Prix Sky Sports Main Event & Channel 4, 7.35am The 19th Grand Prix in this country will also be its last, as the Malaysian government withdraws funding for the Sepang circuit. Drivers had to endure the challenge of racing in 50-degree heat, with hydration as important as a full tank. Lewis Hamilton will be hoping to increase his lead in the championship with another victory, but a mix of unpredictable weather and a track known for its sharp corners should ensure that this Grand Prix keeps throwing up surprises right until the very end. Live NFL: New Orleans Saints v Miami Dolphins BBC Two, 1.45pm Wembley Stadium is the setting again for the NFL, having hosted Jacksonville Jaguars’ 44-7 demolition of the Baltimore Ravens last weekend. This will be a fourth trip to Wembley for the Dolphins, who appeared in the first International Series game here in 2007 when they lost 13-10 to the New York Giants, while their most recent appearance saw them defeated 27-14 by the New York Jets in 2015. The Saints have less experience of playing at Wembley, but did register a 37-32 win over the then-San Diego Chargers in 2008, in their only previous trip to the UK.  Live Premier League Rugby Union: Wasps v Bath BT Sport 1, 2.15pm The new season has turned sour for both teams, and Wasps are keen to avoid their third successive defeat. If history is an indicator they should have the upper hand, having won their last four matches against Bath – the most recent of which finished 24-3, with two tries from Kurtley Beale helping them on their way. The visitors come into this match on the back of an agonising 33-32 defeat to Newcastle Falcons, who scored twice in the last 15 minutes to come from behind in a nine-try thriller. Cornwall’s Native Poet: Charles Causley BBC Four, 8.00pm This documentary, the first of three films from the BBC’s Contains Strong Language poetry strand, celebrates the life and work of Charles Causley, a Cornish poet so deeply rooted in the county that he only left his home town of Launceston once, for naval service in the Second World War. Escape Channel 4, 8.00pm There are five people stranded in the middle of a desert following a plane crash. They have one chance of survival: creating another vehicle from the plane wreckage. That’s the premise of this new series in which five engineers are challenged to use their ingenuity and skill to escape a tricky situation. Men Who Sleep in Cars BBC Four, 9.00pm Scripted entirely in verse, poet Michael Symmons Roberts’s film is a love song to the city of Manchester. It tells the poignant story of three rough sleepers whose impoverished lives are seen in contrast to the great wealth of the city. With Maxine Peake. Electric Dreams:The Commuter Channel 4, 9.00pm The third story in this enjoyable series based on sci-fi pioneer Philip K Dick’s stories stars Timothy Spall as a railway attendant with a sad home life. But when he meets a mysterious traveller, he is forced to choose between fantasy and reality. Dawn French Live: 30 Million Minutes BBC Two, 10.00pm; NI, 10.55pm; Wales, 10.45pm Recorded last year in London’s West End, this is the actress and comedian’s live solo show, inspired by the tough but entertaining lessons she’s learnt from life.  Child in Mind BBC Four, 10.00pm Simon Armitage has a talent for making powerfully poetic television. Here he mixes documentary footage and verse to give a voice to the dispossessed women in Britain, the mothers of the 3,000 children placed in care every year. GO Boris Johnson: Blond Ambition Channel 4, 10.05pm After a period of calm, the Boris bandwagon is gathering speed once again following the publication of his vision for a post-Brexit Britain in The Telegraph. Here Channel 4’s political editor Gary Gibbon looks back at Johnson’s 14 months as Foreign Secretary, assessing his impact and success on the world stage. GO Happy Feet (2006) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 3.45pm  Australian director George Miller won a Best Animated Feature Oscar for this entertaining believe-in-yourself animation. Mumble, a misfit emperor penguin (baby voice by Elizabeth Daily, adult voice by Elijah Wood) is causing his parents (voiced by Nicole Kidman and Jackman) concern because he can’t sing and is therefore unable to attract a mate. Mumble can tap-dance, though, and therein lies his salvation. A United Kingdom (2016) ★★★★☆   Sky Movies Premiere, 8.00pm  Amma Asante’s film retells a true story that took place simultaneously in the corridors of Westminster and the country now known as Botswana just over half a century ago. It’s about the inter-racial romance between English woman Ruth (Rosamund Pike) and Seretse (David Oyelowo), the future king. It’s stirring stuff and a chapter of history that rewards a close reading. Memphis Belle (1990) ★★★☆☆☆ ITV4, 9.05pm  It’s 1943, and the handsome American crew of Second World War B-17 bomber Memphis Belle, who are stationed in England, are anticipating their final mission – to fly over Nazi-occupied Europe. Full of nostalgia, this loosely based-on-real-events story exudes a romanticised view of heroism, but features an endearing cast, including Billy Zane, Sean Astin,John Lithgow, Eric Stoltz, and Harry Connick Jr. Monday 2 October The curmudgeon returns: Larry David is back after six years Credit: HBO/Skt Curb Your Enthusiasm Sky Atlantic, 10.00pm Cometh the hour, cometh the curmudgeon. It’s been six years since we last saw the irascible Larry David and the rest of his gang of malcontents, and this return is something of a surprise delight given that David had previously claimed to have mined every last possible drop from his alter-ego’s grumpy loathing of modern life.  No previews were available for this opening episode, which is not a surprise seeing as David has always run a tight ship regarding spoilers and HBO went into lockdown after episodes were leaked during the summer. So what can we expect? Bryan Cranston joins the cast as Larry’s new therapist, the wonderful double act of Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen return, and David has promised that we’ll uncover just what happened after Larry left for Paris with perpetual house guest Leon (the scene-stealing J B Smoove). “It’s been a five-year log-jam of indignities and violations of etiquette,” executive producer Jeff Schaffer told Variety and it’s true that Curb’s return seems particularly suited to our current times. “Every day confirms, more and more, he’s right! He’s right about everything,” noted David. One thing is certain: it’ll be fun finding out if that’s true. Sarah Hughes Race and Pace: The West Indians in East Lancashire BBC Four, 7.30pm When West Indian cricketers began to arrive in Lancashire, the Northern county was hit for six. This enlightening documentary, narrated by Death in Paradise’s Don Warrington, tells the story of how initial reticence and racism turned into an unlikely cricketing love affair. Among those recalling their experiences are knights of the cricketing order, Viv Richards and Wes Hall, who also discuss the huge impact West Indian players made on the LCC and the resulting effect it had on both sides of the Atlantic over the past 90 years. Tunes for Tyrants: Music & Power with Suzy Klein BBC Four, 9.00pm Presented by Suzy Klein, this documentary is an exploration of music’s crucial political role in the most turbulent years of the 20th century. It begins with the Radio 3 presenter looking at the years following the Russian Revolution and the First World War when music was seen as a tool to change society. CM Liar ITV, 9.00pm After last week’s revelation, the William brothers’ potboiler continues apace. In the fourth episode, dogged “rape victim” Laura Nielson (Joanne Froggatt) travels to Edinburgh to find out how Andrew Earlham’s (Ioan Gruffudd) wife’s really died. Paddington Station 24/7 Channel 5, 9.00pm Watching this behind-the-scenes look at London’s Paddington Station, you can understand why rail passengers become frustrated by the service. In this episode, the staff have to deal with signal problems during rush hour. Later, a team of engineers race to replace 60 ft of rail hours before the morning rush begins. W1A BBC Two, 10.00pm; not NI John Morton’s parody of life inside Broadcasting House always manages to find big laughs in unusual circumstances. Tonight, the Renewal Team propose to get rid of the BBC Big Swing Band, and marketing guru Siobhan (the excellent Jessica Hynes) decides to make a trailer to launch the YouTube-like BBC ME.  Stacey Dooley Investigates: Mums Selling Their Kids for Sex BBC One, 10.45pm; NI, 11.10pm; Scot, 11.45pm In this disturbing film, previously shown on BBC Three, Dooley is in the Philippines to investigate mothers who sexually exploit their children live on the web. Clive Morgan Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) ★★★☆☆☆ 5STAR, 8.00pm  Back in 1994, Jim Carrey went from near obscurity to starring in three hits in a year. The first was this very funny comedy about a zany pet detective who finds himself out of his depth (the others were The Mask and Dumb & Dumber). Here, he’s hired by Miami’s NFL team to track down their mascot, a bottlenose dolphin named Snowflake, before the Super Bowl. Courteney Cox co-stars as the team’s publicist. Moulin Rouge! (2001) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 8.00pm  Baz Luhrmann’s intoxicating spectacle was the first musical to be nominated for the Best Picture Oscar in 22 years. Set in 1899, Montmartre, it follows a poet (Ewan McGregor) who becomes love-struck with the city’s famous courtesan (Nicole Kidman, who enters the film on a bejazzled swing). The mix of period setting and contemporary pop ensure a vivid assault on the senses. The Specialist (1994) ★★☆☆☆ ITV4, 10.00pm  Sharon Stone slinks around Sylvester Stallone in this celebrity vehicle that garnered a lot of attention, at the time of release, for its sex scene. Stallone plays a former CIA bomb expert hired by Stone to destroy the Mob that killed her family. Supporting actor James Woods remains unscathed in a film full of giant explosions, silly plot twists, and Rod Steiger trying out a Cuban accent (indecipherable and hilarious). Tuesday 3 October Caught in the middle: Suranne Jones and Tom Taylor Credit: BBC Doctor Foster BBC One, 9.00pm Handbrake turns have become the norm in the extraordinary second series of Mike Bartlett’s ripe melodrama, with showdown following showdown, passive aggression increasingly supplanted by straightforward aggression, and twists galore threatening a lurch into the territory of Fatal Attraction, only in reverse. The Fosters are in disarray – Simon (Bertie Carvel) is estranged from his second family and income stream, while Gemma (Suranne Jones) is concerned that her actions have pushed away their son (Tom Taylor, the show’s unsung star). We left Gemma driving at speed towards Simon – what happens next remains under wraps, but suffice to say that the most unexpected twist in tonight’s conclusion is one of tone: from operatic melodrama (albeit sustained by brilliant performances) into sombre contemplation – the fallout after the explosion. Flashbacks illustrate both the affection once at the heart of the family and a failure to meet the needs of its most vulnerable member. The door is left wide open for a third series; it’s been fun, but has strained credibility – it might be wise to emulate the Doctor Foster of the nursery rhyme and never go there again. Gabriel Tate Rodney Carrington: Here Comes the Truth Netflix, from 12.01am Rodney Carrington’s stand-up is an unapologetically crude assault on political correctness (his material ranges from Muslims to his manhood), but, undeniably, he has a big following in the US. This recording from his most recent tour will establish whether this acquired taste is also yours. The Great British Bake Off Channel 4, 8.00pm With the chancers and fudgers departed, Prue Leith and Paul Hollywood have a smorgasbord of class acts from which to choose as Pastry Week dawns: the showstopper sees the bakers attempt a pie with a difference. Reformation: Europe’s Holy War BBC Two, 9.00pm Once inescapable, David Starkey now makes infrequent appearances on TV; which is just as well, given a little of his strident controversialism generally goes a long way. Here, he’s on entertaining form exploring the malign forces unleashed by the Protestant Reformation some 500 years ago – and their modern parallels. Sex, Chips and Poetry: 50 Years of the Mersey Sound BBC Four, 9.00pm In 1967, the same year that The Beatles released Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, fellow Liverpudlians Roger McGough, Brian Patten and Adrian Henri took the spoken-word revolution started by the Beat Poets and transformed it into something uniquely British. This amiable and richly deserved tribute documentary, narrated by Isy Suttie, celebrates the 50th anniversary of their work on The Mersey Sound, one of the best-selling poetry anthologies of all time, which is still a mainstay on school syllabuses. GT Barbie: the Most Famous Doll in the World Channel 4, 9.15pm Mary Portas visits toymaker Mattel, attends conventions and talks to children in a bid to make sense of a doll blamed for entrenching everything from everyday sexism to unrealistic body images. How can an apparently outmoded icon be reinvented for the modern age? The Insider: Reggie Yates in a Refugee Camp BBC One, 10.45pm; NI, 11.10pm; Scot, 11.45pm In this documentary, first shown on BBC Three, Reggie Yates spends a week in Iraq’s largest refugee camp, where he lives alongside 30,000 displaced Syrians facing an uncertain future. GT The Karate Kid (2010) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 6.15pm  To most people’s surprise, this is a more-than-satisfying update on the much-loved original, though also comes across as an extended tourism advert. Jaden Smith (son of Will) plays a 12-year-old who moves from Detroit to Beijing with his mother (Taraji P Henson). There he becomes a punching bag for local bullies, but makes a new friend in a maintenance man and martial arts master Mr Han (Jackie Chan), who teaches him how to fight. Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009) ★★★☆☆ E4, 8.00pm  This is comfortably the best in the Ice Age series and solid children’s entertainment, but you may need to explain that dinosaurs didn’t live in a vast hothouse under the glaciers, and woolly mammoths called Manny probably weren’t on chummy terms with sabre-toothed tigers called Diego. Here, the gang head to a tropical lost world to rescue Sid the Sloth (John Leguizamo). 22 Jump Street (2014) ★★★☆☆ ITV2, 9.00pm  Channing Tatum’s charisma and the best malapropisms ever make this sequel to 21 Jump Street a joy. Instead of infiltrating school to arrest the suppliers of a drug, Jonah Hill’s Schmidt and Tatum’s Jenko infiltrate college to do… exactly the same. The film is directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (The Lego Movie) who are becoming the handiest duo since the Coen brothers. Wednesday 4 October Back in business: Lord Sugar (centre) with Karren Brady and Claude Littner Credit: BBC The Apprentice BBC One, 9.00pm Thirteen series in and we all know by now that The Apprentice is not so much a search for the brightest and best new business entrepreneurs, but an exercise in finding the one polishable, er, apple in a barrelful of “pony and trap” as adept cockney rhymer Lord Sugar puts it. And what fun it still is watching all those overinflated young egos being cut down to size by the process.  This time 18 candidates vie for the prize of £250,000 start-up capital, and just to remind the wannabe tycoons what a great opportunity they’re being given, Lord Sugar marches five previous winners into the boardroom to beguile them with tales of success.  The opening challenge, though, couldn’t be more basic: making burgers and flogging them on the street. Which is not to say there isn’t lots of room for error and unfathomably gross stupidity, too. In fact, you’re pretty much guaranteed to spend most of this show slapping your forehead at the unadulterated ineptitude of some of these self-proclaimed geniuses. In other words, a great start to what looks like being another hilarious series with, as ever, The Apprentice: You’re Fired following, at 10pm on BBC Two. Gerard O’Donovan Who Do You Think You Are? BBC One, 8.00pm Some editions of this latest series have felt less like journeys of discovery and more like genetic quests. Here, comedian Ruby Wax sets out to discover whether her mental health issues might have been evident earlier in her family line. Billion Dollar Deals and How They Changed Your World BBC Two, 8.00pm Yes, it’s a conspiracy. In the second programme of his absorbing series about how the world is ruled not by politicians but by decisions made in corporate boardrooms, Jacques Peretti considers why big business is currently so determined to kill off cash.  The Detectives: Murder on the Streets BBC Two, 9.00pm “It not like the Seventies. It’s not about slapping people. It’s about what you disclose to the person.” The art of tripping suspects up in their own lies inches Manchester police ever closer to solving two brutal killings in this nail-biting real-life crime series. Britain’s Lost Masterpieces BBC Four, 9.00pm Bendor Grosvenor and Emma Dabiri head to the Derby Museum to investigate a painting that suffered an unusually poor early restoration. Could it be a work by the great 18th-century British master, Joseph Wright of Derby, and if so can it be returned to its former glory?  The Great War in Numbers Yesterday, 9.00pm Think of the First World War and it’s the millions of lives lost in the trenches that come to mind. But, as this documentary series reveals, everything about the Great War was on a scale previously unparalleled: machine guns in millions, artillery shells in billions, the mind-boggling logistics of keeping vast numbers of men fed, clothed and fighting fit in the field. Tonight’s first film of six explores how the empires of Germany, France, Russia and Britain were able to pour so much wealth into the industrialisation of warfare. GO Back Channel 4, 10.00pm Fate just seems to get crueller for Stephen (David Mitchell) when Andrew (Robert Webb) manages to increase his share in the pub. But then Alison (Olivia Poulet) uncovers information that could yet force the cuckoo out of the family nest. GO Mercury Rising (1998) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm  Bruce Willis is excellent as an undercover FBI agent assigned to protect a nine-year-old autistic boy (Miko Hughes) who is targeted by assassins after cracking a top secret government code in this underrated, if slightly unrealistic, thriller based on the Ryne Douglas Pearson novel Simon Says. The plot moves at breakneck speed yet, ultimately, it’s a touching and heart-warming story. The Football Factory (2004) ★★★☆☆ London Live, 10.00pm  John King’s book The Football Factory is an unnerving and brutal account of hooliganism in the Nineties, centring on a firm of Chelsea boot boys and their clashes with rival “fans”. Nick Love’s film certainly captures the thuggery, with Danny Dyer as Tommy, for whom life is about drink, drugs, sex, thieving and a good ruck – but who begins to question his ways. Made in France (2015) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 10.00pm  This thriller, about a wave of jihadist attacks on Paris, was pulled from cinemas following its plot’s number of unnerving parallels with recent events in the French capital. In it, an extremist cell plans a series of shootings and bombings across the city “that will shake France” and the world. Director Nicholas Boukhrief said he made the film to counter the “poison” of jihadist propaganda. Thursday 5 October Fire safety: in the wake of the Grenfell Tower disaster Credit: PA The Housing Enforcers BBC One, 8.00pm; BBC Two Wales, 7.00pm “Everyone has a right to a safe place to live, no matter who you are, where you live or how much rent you pay. It’s non-negotiable.” So concludes Matt Allwright at the end of this programme focusing on the importance of fire safety.  The format is straightforward: Allwright travels across the country meeting with housing officers and examining the myriad ways in which fires can destroy lives. What makes this really hit home, however, is the presenter’s quiet fury at the way in which some lives are considered less worthy than others. Inevitably, the shadow of Grenfell Tower hangs heavy over the hour. It’s notable that many of those worst affected are elderly and living alone: the story of fiercely independent Ali who refuses to acknowledge, even to his family, quite how much he is struggling is particularly poignant. Allwright, however, saves his most righteous rage for the landlords squeezing tenants in wherever they can and failing to meet even the minimum health and safety standards. The result is a hard-hitting and often hard-to-watch documentary, which also offers solid advice on how to deal both with fires and bad landlords. Sarah Hughes Live International Football: England v Slovenia ITV, 7.30pm Having drawn 0-0 last October, with Joe Hart forced to make a string of fine saves, England and Slovenia reconvene at Wembley. Victory today for Gareth Southgate’s men will ensure their qualification for next year’s World Cup in Russia. And having beaten second-placed Slovakia 2-1 last month, thanks to a strike from tyro Marcus Rashford, they’ll be confident of doing just that. The Big Family Cooking Showdown BBC Two, 8.00pm Two last families go head to head for a place in the finals. Their £10 challenge is a Friday night takeaway, so naturally curry is on the menu. There’s talk of “fusion” cooking, some mushy spinach and a 34-year-old rolling pin.   Discovering: Laurence Olivier Sky Arts, 8.00pm The spotlight turns on Laurence Olivier, who, in 1937, described cinema as an “anaemic little medium which could not stand great acting”.   Ambulance BBC One, 9.00pm The work of the West Midlands Ambulance Service continues as a specialist trauma team are dispatched to a motorbike accident where a man has suffered a catastrophic chest injury. “I’ve got nothing…” declares the doctor. It’s a stark reminder of the fragility of life and the increasing compassion of the services in times of chaos.    Russia with Simon Reeve BBC Two, 9.00pm Simon Reeve continues his fascinating journey, meeting Tuvan children in Siberia who practice the Mongolian tradition of throat singing.  Educating Greater Manchester Channel 4, 9.00pm Ah, that old chestnut – ignoring school uniform rules. This week, the teachers at Harrop Fold are on the back foot when a message is spread on Snapchat encouraging pupils to come in wearing trainers. Social media also causes friction between Year 11 girls Serena and Lelo when one talks to the other’s boyfriend on FaceTime. Rachel Ward Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez murders Sky Living, 9.00pm This series, similar to The People v OJ Simpson, takes a closer look at the two trials of brothers Lyle and Erik Menendez, who were convicted of murdering their parents in their Beverly Hills home in 1989. It focuses on the attorney (Edie Falco), who was one of their few defenders. Dimension 404 Syfy, 9.00pm Each episode of this new sci-fi anthology features a form of technology gone wrong. But there’s nothing unnerving about it, rather it’s a camp pastiche of The Twilight Zone, complete with Star Wars’ Mark Hamill providing the voice-over. Glee’s Lea Michele stars in the first episode about online dating. It’s weird, but it doesn’t overplay it. RW Robin and Marian (1976) ★★★★☆ Film4, 1.10pm  Sean Connery gives one of his best performances as a middle-aged Robin Hood, who heads home to Sherwood Forest after the death of Richard I. He finds that scaling a castle wall isn’t as easy as it used to be, Maid Marian (Audrey Hepburn) is still miffed at being left in the lurch, and the Sheriff (Robert Shaw) is up to his old tricks in Richard Lester’s good-natured romance. Look out for Ronnie Barker as Friar Tuck. Jerry Maguire (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 5.40pm  In Cameron Crowe’s macho romcom, Tom Cruise plays a sports agent who has an attack of conscience and urges his colleagues to think about the welfare of their clients. He’s duly fired but announces that he’ll start his own agency. A washed-up footballer (Cuba Gooding Jr) and a single mother (Renée Zellweger) are the only ones who agree to go with him. Here, the classic quote, “You had me at ‘hello’” was born. The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 10.10pm Clint Eastwood directs and stars in this marvellous warm-hearted western adapted from Forrest Carter’s novel and set during the American Civil War. Eastwood plays the eponymous Missouri farmer who, driven by memories of his family’s slaughter, becomes an outlaw when he refuses to join his Confederate comrades in surrender, in favour of seeking revenge on the men who murdered his kin. Friday 6 October Penal colony: Harry Peacock, Kevin Bishop and Ricky Grover Credit: BBC Porridge BBC One, 9.30pm The most successful of the BBC’s classic sitcom revivals from last year, Porridge returns for a full series with the series’ creators Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais once again on board. It finds Nigel Norman Fletcher (Kevin Bishop as the grandson of Ronnie Barker’s character, Norman Stanley) locking horns with officer Meekie (Mark Bonnar) while aiding or outsmarting the prison’s ne’er-do-wells. In a canny twist, it is Fletch who is now the relative ingénue in his cell, seeking counsel from veteran lag Joe Lotterby (Dave Hill). We find Fletch as the prison’s resident Cyrano de Bergerac, writing letters to keep the flame of romance alive between assorted inmates and their partners on the outside. All goes well until Fletch suffers a crisis of conscience that threatens the whole operation. Some of the gags are groanworthy, but Clement and La Frenais’s mastery of sitcom mechanics remains complete; their presence keeps the spirit of the original intact, while the update means that no one is attempting to emulate the cast of the Seventies series. Fletch has a five-year sentence to serve; unlikely as it might seem, a similar term for Porridge might not be unwelcome. Gabriel Tate Suburra: the Series Netflix, from 12.01am Like Romanzo Criminale and Gomorrah before it, Suburra began life as a book before becoming a gripping, multifaceted Italian-language political thriller. This 10-part series, set in the dying days of Berlusconi’s regime, explores the themes of politics, the Church and corruption during 20 tumultuous days in Rome. Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Ireland faces a pivotal referendum on the decriminalisation of abortion in certain circumstances; Kate Hardie-Buckley meets those on both sides of the debate in a deeply affecting edition of the current-affairs series. Modern Family Sky1, 8.30pm It may have tailed off since its peak, but Modern Family is still good for a few laughs. The ninth series begins with Jay (Ty Burrell) taking the family on a houseboat holiday, and Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) encountering an old flame. Gardeners’ World BBC Two, 9.00pm; not N Ireland or Wales Monty Don begins preparations for 2018 by advising others on how to use leaf mould as a mulch. Elsewhere, Adam Frost visits a community allotment in Manchester, and Nick Bailey learns from a zoologist about the life teeming in the soil. Nile Rodgers: How to Make It in the Music Business BBC Four, 9.00pm Guitar genius and pop producer Nile Rodgers shares the wisdom he’s acquired over decades in the music business. In the first episode, he discusses the founding of Chic and his influence on today’s hitmakers. GT Cold Feet ITV, 9.00pm Karen (Hermione Norris) is on the brink of financial disaster in spite of David’s (Robert Bathurst) assistance, while Adam (James Nesbitt) gets out of his depth on a night out in Mike Bullen’s assured comedy-drama revival. The Graham Norton Show BBC One, 10.35pm Another line-up of heavy-hitters assembles on the red sofa tonight: comedian Chris Rock plugs his first UK stand-up tour in a decade, actors Idris Elba and Kate Winslet discuss their niche genre movie, “disaster-romance” The Mountain Between Us (about a surgeon and a journalist who survive a plane crash), and Liam Gallagher performs songs from his debut album, As You Were. GT The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010) ★★★☆☆ E4, 8.00pm  The third instalment of the teenage vampire franchise is better than the second and will please its fan base, though Melissa Rosenberg’s script is full of clichés and relies on a shirtless Taylor Lautner for distraction. Girl-next-door Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) must choose between 100-year-old vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and hunky werewolf Jacob Black (Lautner). T2: Trainspotting (2017) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 10.00pm  Danny Boyle’s sequel is more than just a trip down memory lane. Back in 1996, Trainspotting’s gallery of junkies and rogues (Ewan McGregor, Jonny Lee Miller) proudly and raucously chose not to choose life. But now, all have come to terms with the gnawing possibility that life may have in fact not chosen them. There’s no chance of it matching the legacy of the first film, but it doesn’t tarnish it either. American Hustle (2013) ★★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.10am  David O Russell’s caper feels like the film he has spent his career warming up for and is a serious piece of film-making that delights in its own silliness. Irving (Christian Bale) and his partner Sydney (Amy Adams) are con artists blackmailed by FBI agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper) into aiding his investigation. “Some of this actually happened,” reads a title card, and to be more specific would spoil the fun. Television previewers Catherine Gee, Sarah Hughes, Clive Morgan, Gerard O'Donovan, Patrick Smith, Gabriel Tate and Rachel Ward

What's on TV tonight: The Graham Norton Show and Cold Feet

FRIDAY 29 SEPTEMBER THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW BBC One, 10.35pm Third from the top of the BBC’s recently published list of its highest earners (at between £850,000 and £899,000 a year), Graham Norton returns to the Friday evening schedules – as sure a sign that the nights are drawing in as the return of Strictly Come Dancing and The X Factor at the weekends.  The fact is Norton is a big draw not only for audiences but for celebrities, too, and he consistently eclipses every other UK chat show host when it comes to attracting the biggest stars from home and abroad to have a natter on his curvy red sofa.  Visiting Hollywood actors appear to be especially enamoured and that’s certainly the case in tonight’s show as Stars Wars and Indiana Jones star Harrison Ford and La La Land’s Ryan Gosling turn up to talk about their new sci-fi sequel Blade Runner 2049. Also making an appearance is Reese Witherspoon, who, fresh from the success of Big Little Lies at the Emmy Awards, is on hand to plug her latest comedy Home Again, while Margot Robbie (who is in Time magazine’s list of 2017’s most influential people) brings at least a hint of Britishness with talk of her new AA Milne biopic, Goodbye Christopher Robin. GO STARTUP Amazon Prime, from today Series one of this Miami-based drama, about entrepreneurs financing tech start-ups with dirty money, got a mixed reaction. But now it gets a deserved second season, with Martin Freeman returning as the exceedingly nasty FBI agent Phil Rask. Ron Perlman also joins the cast as the mercurial moneyman behind the latest venture.  GO LONG SHOT Netflix, from today A needle-in-haystack documentary, featuring Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Larry David, about how the fate of a man accused of murder rested on proving he was in a crowd of 54,000 people at a baseball game.  GO ONE-DAY INTERNATIONAL CRICKET: England v West Indies Sky Sports Main Event, 12.00noon Action from the fifth and final fixture in the series, which takes place at the Ageas Bowl in Southampton. Can Eoin Morgan’s men bring the curtain down on England’s summer endeavours in style? GO UNREPORTED WORLD Channel 4, 7.30pm The foreign affairs series returns with Marcel Theroux reporting on an unlikely explosion of home-grown pop music in China. These groups are working in defiance of the country’s censorship and against a government crackdown on authority-defying acts. GO BRITAIN BY BIKE WITH LARRY & GEORGE LAMB Channel 5, 8.00pm The father-and-son team of George and Larry Lamb take to two wheels for a convivial trip around Britain’s best national park cycle routes. They begin in the Yorkshire Dales, where they try fly-fishing and rock climbing before tackling a section of the 2014 Tour de France route. GO THE LAST PIRATES: BRITAIN’S REBEL DJS BBC Four, 9.00pm Forget Radio Caroline and Radio Luxembourg – rapper Rodney P tells the story of how, in the Eighties, a new wave of pirate radio stations created a platform for emerging rap artists and changed the soundtrack of Thatcher’s Britain. GO COLD FEET ITV, 9.00pm The focus of Mike Bullen’s entertaining comedy drama returns to the tangled love life of Adam (James Nesbitt) as his girlfriend Tina (Leanne Best) falls victim to online revenge porn. Meanwhile, Karen (Hermione Norris) is aided by an unlikely white knight in her fight against the hostile takeover bid. GO A CELEBRITY TASTE OF ITALY Channel 5, 9.00pm Nice work if you can get it: Ian Lavender, Rula Lenska, Judith Chalmers and Johnny Ball head to a luxury villa in Italy for a masterclass in how to prepare the best local foods and wines. This week, the enticing flavours of Tuscany. GO OUR SOULS AT NIGHT (2017) Netflix, from today  ★★★☆☆ Jane Fonda and Robert Redford – whose three-film partnership in the Sixties and Seventies, across The Chase, Barefoot in the Park and The Electric Horseman, set them apart as one of the most indecently gorgeous screen couples the movies ever produced – are on fizzing form in this cosy autumnal romance as two widowed neighbours who begin sleeping in bed together platonically to alleviate their loneliness. FLETCH (1985) Film4, 6.55pm  ★★★☆☆ Chevy Chase delivers dry one-liners and physical slapstick in this breezy comedy film that saw the peak of the actor’s career. Based on a series of novels by Gregory McDonald, the cult movie, which is one of the more quotable comedies of the Eighties, stars Chase as Fletch, a smart alec investigative reporter for an LA newspaper who is approached by a wealthy man who asks Fletch to kill him. UP IN THE AIR (2009) BBC One, 11.55pm  ★★★★☆ Jason Reitman (whose second film Juno earned him Oscar nominations) directs this witty love story. Ryan (George Clooney) is a downsizing expert, who flies around the US and fires people. That is, until a graduate (Anna Kendrick) proposes to save on airfares by getting staff to carry out sackings via video. Bingham is not happy; he likes the high life, and he likes fellow flyer Alex (Vera Farmiga). Saturday 30 September Popular poetry: how Auden still connects with modern life Credit: Getty Images Stop All the Clocks: WH Auden in an Age of Anxiety BBC Two, 9.00pm; Wales, 10.30pm As anyone who’s seen Richard Curtis’s film Four Weddings and a Funeral will attest, W H Auden’s poetry has considerable emotional potency. Indeed, those not reduced to tears at the sight of John Hannah reading Stop All the Clocks should consult their doctor as soon as possible. (“He was my North, my South, my East and West/My working week and my Sunday rest/My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song/I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.”) His words also provide succour in troubled times: many New Yorkers, in fact, turned to his poem September 1, 1939 – a response to the outbreak of the Second World War – in the aftermath of 9/11.  Launching a season of poetry programmes, this excellent documentary from director Adam Low looks at why the craggy-faced Auden – whose reputation in Britain soured after his decision to move to America in 1939 – still has a great hold on our imaginations. Among those paying tribute to Auden’s words – a mix of humanity, scepticism and unsuppressed honesty – are writers Alan Bennett, Alexander McCall Smith and Curtis, who studied Auden at university. Patrick Smith Live Premier League Football: Chelsea v Manchester City BT Sport 1, 5.00pm The two teams’ last encounter at Stamford Bridge in April ended well for Chelsea, who won 2-1, thanks to a brace from Eden Hazard. But City have looked imperious this season: unbeaten in the league, they’ve won five of their six matches. Third-placed Chelsea go into this game with momentum from an impressive 4-0 victory at Stoke. In terms of their starting line-up, Pep Guardiola’s side must cope without summer signing Benjamin Mendy; the French full-back is currently sidelined with a ligament injury.  Strictly Come Dancing BBC One, 6.45pm This year’s competition is full of characters – from the divine Reverend Richard Coles and his disco-dad dancing to the gleefully giddy Debbie McGee – but tonight they must all impress not just the judges but the viewers, too: the first couple will be voted off in tomorrow’s results show.   Britain Afloat BBC Two, 8.00pm; N Ireland, 8.30pm Throughout our history, boats have played a major role and, in this new six-part series, Mary-Ann Ochota travels Britain’s waterways to see how they shaped our lives. Here, she explores the role boats played at Dunkirk and joins the Thames Barge match. The X Factor: Boot Camp ITV, 8.00pm Now that the auditions are over, it’s time for the lucky hopefuls to take part in Boot Camp. Those who manage to impress judges Simon, Nicole, Sharon and Louis will go through to the dreaded Six Chair Challenge. More tomorrow at 7.30pm.  The Doors Night Sky Arts, from 8.00pm In 1967, The Doors broke on through, releasing a string of hit singles and two platinum albums. With their intoxicating blend of blues, jazz and poetry, they exploded into the public consciousness, becoming one of the soundtracks to the Summer of Love. Now, 50 years later, Sky Arts is dedicating an evening of programming to the quartet, whose name is a reference to Aldous Huxley’s Doors of Perception. First up, in Rock Poet, is a fascinating profile of The Doors’ shamanistic frontman Jim Morrison, who died aged 27. Next is The Doors: Feast of Friends, which follows the band on the road. Rounding off the night is footage of their famous 1968 concert at the Hollywood Bowl. Black Lake BBC Four, 9.00pm and 9.40pm This fun Swedish supernatural chiller reaches its penultimate episodes, and there’s something nasty lurking in the cellar at the ski lodge, leaving the gang in a state of shock. PS The Jonathan Ross Show ITV, 9.30pm US singer Demi Lovato is on Jonathan Ross’s guest list as she promotes her “intimate” documentary Simply Complicated. She is joined by Doc Martin’s Martin Clunes and This Morning’s Holly Willoughby. The music comes from The X Factor 2012 winner James Arthur. Clive Morgan Now You See Me (2013) ★★☆☆☆ Channel 4, 9.00pm  A group of illusionists (Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher and Dave Franco) are encouraged to carry out a string of heists by a mysterious figure, while remaining ahead of FBI agent Rhodes (Mark Ruffalo), who is desperate to bring them to justice. Director Louis Leterrier tries to mimic the complex plots of films such as Inception, but with less success, though it’s reasonably entertaining. Transcendence (2014) ★★☆☆☆ Channel 4, 11.15pm  Johnny Depp and Rebecca Hall star as Will and Evelyn Caster, married artificial-intelligence scientists who download his brain patterns to a hard drive. This isn’t a casual choice: at a state-of-the-future convention, Will is grazed by a would-be assassin’s bullet, which is laced with a radioactive isotope, giving him weeks to live. The film, co-starring Cillian Murphy, is visually stylish but let down by poor storytelling. The Edge of Love (2008) ★★★☆☆ BBC Two, 11.35pm; Wales, 1.05am; not Scot  A fascinating story set during the Second World War about poet Dylan Thomas’s (Matthew Rhys) relationships with two women: his hedonistic Irish wife (Sienna Miller) and his Welsh childhood lover (Keira Knightley). An intense Jules et Jim-esque set-up develops, but the film could do with more about the art and less about the artist’s love life. It’s scripted by Knightley’s mother. Sunday 1 October Bad girl: Jessica Raine stars as military wife Alison Credit: BBC The Last Post BBC One, 9.00pm This intriguing six-part drama, scripted by playwright Peter Moffat, is set against an unusual backdrop – the mid-Sixties conflict that took place in the then British Crown Colony of Aden on the southern Arabian peninsula. Jessica Raine is the star attraction in the bad-girl role of Alison, the drunken, unhappy and unfaithful wife of conscientious but undervalued military policeman Lieutenant Ed Laithwaite (Stephen Campbell Moore).  The atmosphere of unrelenting heat and dust is very well conveyed, as is the day-to-day tedium of life for military wives on a Royal Military Police base and the hierarchies of rank that must be observed. We get the full introduction in this opening episode as newlyweds Captain Joe Martin (Jeremy Neumark Jones) and his wife Honor (Jessie Buckley) arrive on the base as the going-away party for the popular man he’s replacing, Captain Page (Joseph Kennedy), is in full swing. Meanwhile, Laithwaite receives information that an attack on the base by rebel fighters is imminent, but his commanding officer, Major Markham (Ben Miles) refuses to take his warnings seriously. What happens next is not as obvious as you might expect. Gerard O’Donovan Live Formula 1: Malaysia Grand Prix Sky Sports Main Event & Channel 4, 7.35am The 19th Grand Prix in this country will also be its last, as the Malaysian government withdraws funding for the Sepang circuit. Drivers had to endure the challenge of racing in 50-degree heat, with hydration as important as a full tank. Lewis Hamilton will be hoping to increase his lead in the championship with another victory, but a mix of unpredictable weather and a track known for its sharp corners should ensure that this Grand Prix keeps throwing up surprises right until the very end. Live NFL: New Orleans Saints v Miami Dolphins BBC Two, 1.45pm Wembley Stadium is the setting again for the NFL, having hosted Jacksonville Jaguars’ 44-7 demolition of the Baltimore Ravens last weekend. This will be a fourth trip to Wembley for the Dolphins, who appeared in the first International Series game here in 2007 when they lost 13-10 to the New York Giants, while their most recent appearance saw them defeated 27-14 by the New York Jets in 2015. The Saints have less experience of playing at Wembley, but did register a 37-32 win over the then-San Diego Chargers in 2008, in their only previous trip to the UK.  Live Premier League Rugby Union: Wasps v Bath BT Sport 1, 2.15pm The new season has turned sour for both teams, and Wasps are keen to avoid their third successive defeat. If history is an indicator they should have the upper hand, having won their last four matches against Bath – the most recent of which finished 24-3, with two tries from Kurtley Beale helping them on their way. The visitors come into this match on the back of an agonising 33-32 defeat to Newcastle Falcons, who scored twice in the last 15 minutes to come from behind in a nine-try thriller. Cornwall’s Native Poet: Charles Causley BBC Four, 8.00pm This documentary, the first of three films from the BBC’s Contains Strong Language poetry strand, celebrates the life and work of Charles Causley, a Cornish poet so deeply rooted in the county that he only left his home town of Launceston once, for naval service in the Second World War. Escape Channel 4, 8.00pm There are five people stranded in the middle of a desert following a plane crash. They have one chance of survival: creating another vehicle from the plane wreckage. That’s the premise of this new series in which five engineers are challenged to use their ingenuity and skill to escape a tricky situation. Men Who Sleep in Cars BBC Four, 9.00pm Scripted entirely in verse, poet Michael Symmons Roberts’s film is a love song to the city of Manchester. It tells the poignant story of three rough sleepers whose impoverished lives are seen in contrast to the great wealth of the city. With Maxine Peake. Electric Dreams:The Commuter Channel 4, 9.00pm The third story in this enjoyable series based on sci-fi pioneer Philip K Dick’s stories stars Timothy Spall as a railway attendant with a sad home life. But when he meets a mysterious traveller, he is forced to choose between fantasy and reality. Dawn French Live: 30 Million Minutes BBC Two, 10.00pm; NI, 10.55pm; Wales, 10.45pm Recorded last year in London’s West End, this is the actress and comedian’s live solo show, inspired by the tough but entertaining lessons she’s learnt from life.  Child in Mind BBC Four, 10.00pm Simon Armitage has a talent for making powerfully poetic television. Here he mixes documentary footage and verse to give a voice to the dispossessed women in Britain, the mothers of the 3,000 children placed in care every year. GO Boris Johnson: Blond Ambition Channel 4, 10.05pm After a period of calm, the Boris bandwagon is gathering speed once again following the publication of his vision for a post-Brexit Britain in The Telegraph. Here Channel 4’s political editor Gary Gibbon looks back at Johnson’s 14 months as Foreign Secretary, assessing his impact and success on the world stage. GO Happy Feet (2006) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 3.45pm  Australian director George Miller won a Best Animated Feature Oscar for this entertaining believe-in-yourself animation. Mumble, a misfit emperor penguin (baby voice by Elizabeth Daily, adult voice by Elijah Wood) is causing his parents (voiced by Nicole Kidman and Jackman) concern because he can’t sing and is therefore unable to attract a mate. Mumble can tap-dance, though, and therein lies his salvation. A United Kingdom (2016) ★★★★☆   Sky Movies Premiere, 8.00pm  Amma Asante’s film retells a true story that took place simultaneously in the corridors of Westminster and the country now known as Botswana just over half a century ago. It’s about the inter-racial romance between English woman Ruth (Rosamund Pike) and Seretse (David Oyelowo), the future king. It’s stirring stuff and a chapter of history that rewards a close reading. Memphis Belle (1990) ★★★☆☆☆ ITV4, 9.05pm  It’s 1943, and the handsome American crew of Second World War B-17 bomber Memphis Belle, who are stationed in England, are anticipating their final mission – to fly over Nazi-occupied Europe. Full of nostalgia, this loosely based-on-real-events story exudes a romanticised view of heroism, but features an endearing cast, including Billy Zane, Sean Astin,John Lithgow, Eric Stoltz, and Harry Connick Jr. Monday 2 October The curmudgeon returns: Larry David is back after six years Credit: HBO/Skt Curb Your Enthusiasm Sky Atlantic, 10.00pm Cometh the hour, cometh the curmudgeon. It’s been six years since we last saw the irascible Larry David and the rest of his gang of malcontents, and this return is something of a surprise delight given that David had previously claimed to have mined every last possible drop from his alter-ego’s grumpy loathing of modern life.  No previews were available for this opening episode, which is not a surprise seeing as David has always run a tight ship regarding spoilers and HBO went into lockdown after episodes were leaked during the summer. So what can we expect? Bryan Cranston joins the cast as Larry’s new therapist, the wonderful double act of Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen return, and David has promised that we’ll uncover just what happened after Larry left for Paris with perpetual house guest Leon (the scene-stealing J B Smoove). “It’s been a five-year log-jam of indignities and violations of etiquette,” executive producer Jeff Schaffer told Variety and it’s true that Curb’s return seems particularly suited to our current times. “Every day confirms, more and more, he’s right! He’s right about everything,” noted David. One thing is certain: it’ll be fun finding out if that’s true. Sarah Hughes Race and Pace: The West Indians in East Lancashire BBC Four, 7.30pm When West Indian cricketers began to arrive in Lancashire, the Northern county was hit for six. This enlightening documentary, narrated by Death in Paradise’s Don Warrington, tells the story of how initial reticence and racism turned into an unlikely cricketing love affair. Among those recalling their experiences are knights of the cricketing order, Viv Richards and Wes Hall, who also discuss the huge impact West Indian players made on the LCC and the resulting effect it had on both sides of the Atlantic over the past 90 years. Tunes for Tyrants: Music & Power with Suzy Klein BBC Four, 9.00pm Presented by Suzy Klein, this documentary is an exploration of music’s crucial political role in the most turbulent years of the 20th century. It begins with the Radio 3 presenter looking at the years following the Russian Revolution and the First World War when music was seen as a tool to change society. CM Liar ITV, 9.00pm After last week’s revelation, the William brothers’ potboiler continues apace. In the fourth episode, dogged “rape victim” Laura Nielson (Joanne Froggatt) travels to Edinburgh to find out how Andrew Earlham’s (Ioan Gruffudd) wife’s really died. Paddington Station 24/7 Channel 5, 9.00pm Watching this behind-the-scenes look at London’s Paddington Station, you can understand why rail passengers become frustrated by the service. In this episode, the staff have to deal with signal problems during rush hour. Later, a team of engineers race to replace 60 ft of rail hours before the morning rush begins. W1A BBC Two, 10.00pm; not NI John Morton’s parody of life inside Broadcasting House always manages to find big laughs in unusual circumstances. Tonight, the Renewal Team propose to get rid of the BBC Big Swing Band, and marketing guru Siobhan (the excellent Jessica Hynes) decides to make a trailer to launch the YouTube-like BBC ME.  Stacey Dooley Investigates: Mums Selling Their Kids for Sex BBC One, 10.45pm; NI, 11.10pm; Scot, 11.45pm In this disturbing film, previously shown on BBC Three, Dooley is in the Philippines to investigate mothers who sexually exploit their children live on the web. Clive Morgan Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) ★★★☆☆☆ 5STAR, 8.00pm  Back in 1994, Jim Carrey went from near obscurity to starring in three hits in a year. The first was this very funny comedy about a zany pet detective who finds himself out of his depth (the others were The Mask and Dumb & Dumber). Here, he’s hired by Miami’s NFL team to track down their mascot, a bottlenose dolphin named Snowflake, before the Super Bowl. Courteney Cox co-stars as the team’s publicist. Moulin Rouge! (2001) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 8.00pm  Baz Luhrmann’s intoxicating spectacle was the first musical to be nominated for the Best Picture Oscar in 22 years. Set in 1899, Montmartre, it follows a poet (Ewan McGregor) who becomes love-struck with the city’s famous courtesan (Nicole Kidman, who enters the film on a bejazzled swing). The mix of period setting and contemporary pop ensure a vivid assault on the senses. The Specialist (1994) ★★☆☆☆ ITV4, 10.00pm  Sharon Stone slinks around Sylvester Stallone in this celebrity vehicle that garnered a lot of attention, at the time of release, for its sex scene. Stallone plays a former CIA bomb expert hired by Stone to destroy the Mob that killed her family. Supporting actor James Woods remains unscathed in a film full of giant explosions, silly plot twists, and Rod Steiger trying out a Cuban accent (indecipherable and hilarious). Tuesday 3 October Caught in the middle: Suranne Jones and Tom Taylor Credit: BBC Doctor Foster BBC One, 9.00pm Handbrake turns have become the norm in the extraordinary second series of Mike Bartlett’s ripe melodrama, with showdown following showdown, passive aggression increasingly supplanted by straightforward aggression, and twists galore threatening a lurch into the territory of Fatal Attraction, only in reverse. The Fosters are in disarray – Simon (Bertie Carvel) is estranged from his second family and income stream, while Gemma (Suranne Jones) is concerned that her actions have pushed away their son (Tom Taylor, the show’s unsung star). We left Gemma driving at speed towards Simon – what happens next remains under wraps, but suffice to say that the most unexpected twist in tonight’s conclusion is one of tone: from operatic melodrama (albeit sustained by brilliant performances) into sombre contemplation – the fallout after the explosion. Flashbacks illustrate both the affection once at the heart of the family and a failure to meet the needs of its most vulnerable member. The door is left wide open for a third series; it’s been fun, but has strained credibility – it might be wise to emulate the Doctor Foster of the nursery rhyme and never go there again. Gabriel Tate Rodney Carrington: Here Comes the Truth Netflix, from 12.01am Rodney Carrington’s stand-up is an unapologetically crude assault on political correctness (his material ranges from Muslims to his manhood), but, undeniably, he has a big following in the US. This recording from his most recent tour will establish whether this acquired taste is also yours. The Great British Bake Off Channel 4, 8.00pm With the chancers and fudgers departed, Prue Leith and Paul Hollywood have a smorgasbord of class acts from which to choose as Pastry Week dawns: the showstopper sees the bakers attempt a pie with a difference. Reformation: Europe’s Holy War BBC Two, 9.00pm Once inescapable, David Starkey now makes infrequent appearances on TV; which is just as well, given a little of his strident controversialism generally goes a long way. Here, he’s on entertaining form exploring the malign forces unleashed by the Protestant Reformation some 500 years ago – and their modern parallels. Sex, Chips and Poetry: 50 Years of the Mersey Sound BBC Four, 9.00pm In 1967, the same year that The Beatles released Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, fellow Liverpudlians Roger McGough, Brian Patten and Adrian Henri took the spoken-word revolution started by the Beat Poets and transformed it into something uniquely British. This amiable and richly deserved tribute documentary, narrated by Isy Suttie, celebrates the 50th anniversary of their work on The Mersey Sound, one of the best-selling poetry anthologies of all time, which is still a mainstay on school syllabuses. GT Barbie: the Most Famous Doll in the World Channel 4, 9.15pm Mary Portas visits toymaker Mattel, attends conventions and talks to children in a bid to make sense of a doll blamed for entrenching everything from everyday sexism to unrealistic body images. How can an apparently outmoded icon be reinvented for the modern age? The Insider: Reggie Yates in a Refugee Camp BBC One, 10.45pm; NI, 11.10pm; Scot, 11.45pm In this documentary, first shown on BBC Three, Reggie Yates spends a week in Iraq’s largest refugee camp, where he lives alongside 30,000 displaced Syrians facing an uncertain future. GT The Karate Kid (2010) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 6.15pm  To most people’s surprise, this is a more-than-satisfying update on the much-loved original, though also comes across as an extended tourism advert. Jaden Smith (son of Will) plays a 12-year-old who moves from Detroit to Beijing with his mother (Taraji P Henson). There he becomes a punching bag for local bullies, but makes a new friend in a maintenance man and martial arts master Mr Han (Jackie Chan), who teaches him how to fight. Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009) ★★★☆☆ E4, 8.00pm  This is comfortably the best in the Ice Age series and solid children’s entertainment, but you may need to explain that dinosaurs didn’t live in a vast hothouse under the glaciers, and woolly mammoths called Manny probably weren’t on chummy terms with sabre-toothed tigers called Diego. Here, the gang head to a tropical lost world to rescue Sid the Sloth (John Leguizamo). 22 Jump Street (2014) ★★★☆☆ ITV2, 9.00pm  Channing Tatum’s charisma and the best malapropisms ever make this sequel to 21 Jump Street a joy. Instead of infiltrating school to arrest the suppliers of a drug, Jonah Hill’s Schmidt and Tatum’s Jenko infiltrate college to do… exactly the same. The film is directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (The Lego Movie) who are becoming the handiest duo since the Coen brothers. Wednesday 4 October Back in business: Lord Sugar (centre) with Karren Brady and Claude Littner Credit: BBC The Apprentice BBC One, 9.00pm Thirteen series in and we all know by now that The Apprentice is not so much a search for the brightest and best new business entrepreneurs, but an exercise in finding the one polishable, er, apple in a barrelful of “pony and trap” as adept cockney rhymer Lord Sugar puts it. And what fun it still is watching all those overinflated young egos being cut down to size by the process.  This time 18 candidates vie for the prize of £250,000 start-up capital, and just to remind the wannabe tycoons what a great opportunity they’re being given, Lord Sugar marches five previous winners into the boardroom to beguile them with tales of success.  The opening challenge, though, couldn’t be more basic: making burgers and flogging them on the street. Which is not to say there isn’t lots of room for error and unfathomably gross stupidity, too. In fact, you’re pretty much guaranteed to spend most of this show slapping your forehead at the unadulterated ineptitude of some of these self-proclaimed geniuses. In other words, a great start to what looks like being another hilarious series with, as ever, The Apprentice: You’re Fired following, at 10pm on BBC Two. Gerard O’Donovan Who Do You Think You Are? BBC One, 8.00pm Some editions of this latest series have felt less like journeys of discovery and more like genetic quests. Here, comedian Ruby Wax sets out to discover whether her mental health issues might have been evident earlier in her family line. Billion Dollar Deals and How They Changed Your World BBC Two, 8.00pm Yes, it’s a conspiracy. In the second programme of his absorbing series about how the world is ruled not by politicians but by decisions made in corporate boardrooms, Jacques Peretti considers why big business is currently so determined to kill off cash.  The Detectives: Murder on the Streets BBC Two, 9.00pm “It not like the Seventies. It’s not about slapping people. It’s about what you disclose to the person.” The art of tripping suspects up in their own lies inches Manchester police ever closer to solving two brutal killings in this nail-biting real-life crime series. Britain’s Lost Masterpieces BBC Four, 9.00pm Bendor Grosvenor and Emma Dabiri head to the Derby Museum to investigate a painting that suffered an unusually poor early restoration. Could it be a work by the great 18th-century British master, Joseph Wright of Derby, and if so can it be returned to its former glory?  The Great War in Numbers Yesterday, 9.00pm Think of the First World War and it’s the millions of lives lost in the trenches that come to mind. But, as this documentary series reveals, everything about the Great War was on a scale previously unparalleled: machine guns in millions, artillery shells in billions, the mind-boggling logistics of keeping vast numbers of men fed, clothed and fighting fit in the field. Tonight’s first film of six explores how the empires of Germany, France, Russia and Britain were able to pour so much wealth into the industrialisation of warfare. GO Back Channel 4, 10.00pm Fate just seems to get crueller for Stephen (David Mitchell) when Andrew (Robert Webb) manages to increase his share in the pub. But then Alison (Olivia Poulet) uncovers information that could yet force the cuckoo out of the family nest. GO Mercury Rising (1998) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm  Bruce Willis is excellent as an undercover FBI agent assigned to protect a nine-year-old autistic boy (Miko Hughes) who is targeted by assassins after cracking a top secret government code in this underrated, if slightly unrealistic, thriller based on the Ryne Douglas Pearson novel Simon Says. The plot moves at breakneck speed yet, ultimately, it’s a touching and heart-warming story. The Football Factory (2004) ★★★☆☆ London Live, 10.00pm  John King’s book The Football Factory is an unnerving and brutal account of hooliganism in the Nineties, centring on a firm of Chelsea boot boys and their clashes with rival “fans”. Nick Love’s film certainly captures the thuggery, with Danny Dyer as Tommy, for whom life is about drink, drugs, sex, thieving and a good ruck – but who begins to question his ways. Made in France (2015) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 10.00pm  This thriller, about a wave of jihadist attacks on Paris, was pulled from cinemas following its plot’s number of unnerving parallels with recent events in the French capital. In it, an extremist cell plans a series of shootings and bombings across the city “that will shake France” and the world. Director Nicholas Boukhrief said he made the film to counter the “poison” of jihadist propaganda. Thursday 5 October Fire safety: in the wake of the Grenfell Tower disaster Credit: PA The Housing Enforcers BBC One, 8.00pm; BBC Two Wales, 7.00pm “Everyone has a right to a safe place to live, no matter who you are, where you live or how much rent you pay. It’s non-negotiable.” So concludes Matt Allwright at the end of this programme focusing on the importance of fire safety.  The format is straightforward: Allwright travels across the country meeting with housing officers and examining the myriad ways in which fires can destroy lives. What makes this really hit home, however, is the presenter’s quiet fury at the way in which some lives are considered less worthy than others. Inevitably, the shadow of Grenfell Tower hangs heavy over the hour. It’s notable that many of those worst affected are elderly and living alone: the story of fiercely independent Ali who refuses to acknowledge, even to his family, quite how much he is struggling is particularly poignant. Allwright, however, saves his most righteous rage for the landlords squeezing tenants in wherever they can and failing to meet even the minimum health and safety standards. The result is a hard-hitting and often hard-to-watch documentary, which also offers solid advice on how to deal both with fires and bad landlords. Sarah Hughes Live International Football: England v Slovenia ITV, 7.30pm Having drawn 0-0 last October, with Joe Hart forced to make a string of fine saves, England and Slovenia reconvene at Wembley. Victory today for Gareth Southgate’s men will ensure their qualification for next year’s World Cup in Russia. And having beaten second-placed Slovakia 2-1 last month, thanks to a strike from tyro Marcus Rashford, they’ll be confident of doing just that. The Big Family Cooking Showdown BBC Two, 8.00pm Two last families go head to head for a place in the finals. Their £10 challenge is a Friday night takeaway, so naturally curry is on the menu. There’s talk of “fusion” cooking, some mushy spinach and a 34-year-old rolling pin.   Discovering: Laurence Olivier Sky Arts, 8.00pm The spotlight turns on Laurence Olivier, who, in 1937, described cinema as an “anaemic little medium which could not stand great acting”.   Ambulance BBC One, 9.00pm The work of the West Midlands Ambulance Service continues as a specialist trauma team are dispatched to a motorbike accident where a man has suffered a catastrophic chest injury. “I’ve got nothing…” declares the doctor. It’s a stark reminder of the fragility of life and the increasing compassion of the services in times of chaos.    Russia with Simon Reeve BBC Two, 9.00pm Simon Reeve continues his fascinating journey, meeting Tuvan children in Siberia who practice the Mongolian tradition of throat singing.  Educating Greater Manchester Channel 4, 9.00pm Ah, that old chestnut – ignoring school uniform rules. This week, the teachers at Harrop Fold are on the back foot when a message is spread on Snapchat encouraging pupils to come in wearing trainers. Social media also causes friction between Year 11 girls Serena and Lelo when one talks to the other’s boyfriend on FaceTime. Rachel Ward Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez murders Sky Living, 9.00pm This series, similar to The People v OJ Simpson, takes a closer look at the two trials of brothers Lyle and Erik Menendez, who were convicted of murdering their parents in their Beverly Hills home in 1989. It focuses on the attorney (Edie Falco), who was one of their few defenders. Dimension 404 Syfy, 9.00pm Each episode of this new sci-fi anthology features a form of technology gone wrong. But there’s nothing unnerving about it, rather it’s a camp pastiche of The Twilight Zone, complete with Star Wars’ Mark Hamill providing the voice-over. Glee’s Lea Michele stars in the first episode about online dating. It’s weird, but it doesn’t overplay it. RW Robin and Marian (1976) ★★★★☆ Film4, 1.10pm  Sean Connery gives one of his best performances as a middle-aged Robin Hood, who heads home to Sherwood Forest after the death of Richard I. He finds that scaling a castle wall isn’t as easy as it used to be, Maid Marian (Audrey Hepburn) is still miffed at being left in the lurch, and the Sheriff (Robert Shaw) is up to his old tricks in Richard Lester’s good-natured romance. Look out for Ronnie Barker as Friar Tuck. Jerry Maguire (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 5.40pm  In Cameron Crowe’s macho romcom, Tom Cruise plays a sports agent who has an attack of conscience and urges his colleagues to think about the welfare of their clients. He’s duly fired but announces that he’ll start his own agency. A washed-up footballer (Cuba Gooding Jr) and a single mother (Renée Zellweger) are the only ones who agree to go with him. Here, the classic quote, “You had me at ‘hello’” was born. The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 10.10pm Clint Eastwood directs and stars in this marvellous warm-hearted western adapted from Forrest Carter’s novel and set during the American Civil War. Eastwood plays the eponymous Missouri farmer who, driven by memories of his family’s slaughter, becomes an outlaw when he refuses to join his Confederate comrades in surrender, in favour of seeking revenge on the men who murdered his kin. Friday 6 October Penal colony: Harry Peacock, Kevin Bishop and Ricky Grover Credit: BBC Porridge BBC One, 9.30pm The most successful of the BBC’s classic sitcom revivals from last year, Porridge returns for a full series with the series’ creators Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais once again on board. It finds Nigel Norman Fletcher (Kevin Bishop as the grandson of Ronnie Barker’s character, Norman Stanley) locking horns with officer Meekie (Mark Bonnar) while aiding or outsmarting the prison’s ne’er-do-wells. In a canny twist, it is Fletch who is now the relative ingénue in his cell, seeking counsel from veteran lag Joe Lotterby (Dave Hill). We find Fletch as the prison’s resident Cyrano de Bergerac, writing letters to keep the flame of romance alive between assorted inmates and their partners on the outside. All goes well until Fletch suffers a crisis of conscience that threatens the whole operation. Some of the gags are groanworthy, but Clement and La Frenais’s mastery of sitcom mechanics remains complete; their presence keeps the spirit of the original intact, while the update means that no one is attempting to emulate the cast of the Seventies series. Fletch has a five-year sentence to serve; unlikely as it might seem, a similar term for Porridge might not be unwelcome. Gabriel Tate Suburra: the Series Netflix, from 12.01am Like Romanzo Criminale and Gomorrah before it, Suburra began life as a book before becoming a gripping, multifaceted Italian-language political thriller. This 10-part series, set in the dying days of Berlusconi’s regime, explores the themes of politics, the Church and corruption during 20 tumultuous days in Rome. Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Ireland faces a pivotal referendum on the decriminalisation of abortion in certain circumstances; Kate Hardie-Buckley meets those on both sides of the debate in a deeply affecting edition of the current-affairs series. Modern Family Sky1, 8.30pm It may have tailed off since its peak, but Modern Family is still good for a few laughs. The ninth series begins with Jay (Ty Burrell) taking the family on a houseboat holiday, and Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) encountering an old flame. Gardeners’ World BBC Two, 9.00pm; not N Ireland or Wales Monty Don begins preparations for 2018 by advising others on how to use leaf mould as a mulch. Elsewhere, Adam Frost visits a community allotment in Manchester, and Nick Bailey learns from a zoologist about the life teeming in the soil. Nile Rodgers: How to Make It in the Music Business BBC Four, 9.00pm Guitar genius and pop producer Nile Rodgers shares the wisdom he’s acquired over decades in the music business. In the first episode, he discusses the founding of Chic and his influence on today’s hitmakers. GT Cold Feet ITV, 9.00pm Karen (Hermione Norris) is on the brink of financial disaster in spite of David’s (Robert Bathurst) assistance, while Adam (James Nesbitt) gets out of his depth on a night out in Mike Bullen’s assured comedy-drama revival. The Graham Norton Show BBC One, 10.35pm Another line-up of heavy-hitters assembles on the red sofa tonight: comedian Chris Rock plugs his first UK stand-up tour in a decade, actors Idris Elba and Kate Winslet discuss their niche genre movie, “disaster-romance” The Mountain Between Us (about a surgeon and a journalist who survive a plane crash), and Liam Gallagher performs songs from his debut album, As You Were. GT The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010) ★★★☆☆ E4, 8.00pm  The third instalment of the teenage vampire franchise is better than the second and will please its fan base, though Melissa Rosenberg’s script is full of clichés and relies on a shirtless Taylor Lautner for distraction. Girl-next-door Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) must choose between 100-year-old vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and hunky werewolf Jacob Black (Lautner). T2: Trainspotting (2017) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 10.00pm  Danny Boyle’s sequel is more than just a trip down memory lane. Back in 1996, Trainspotting’s gallery of junkies and rogues (Ewan McGregor, Jonny Lee Miller) proudly and raucously chose not to choose life. But now, all have come to terms with the gnawing possibility that life may have in fact not chosen them. There’s no chance of it matching the legacy of the first film, but it doesn’t tarnish it either. American Hustle (2013) ★★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.10am  David O Russell’s caper feels like the film he has spent his career warming up for and is a serious piece of film-making that delights in its own silliness. Irving (Christian Bale) and his partner Sydney (Amy Adams) are con artists blackmailed by FBI agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper) into aiding his investigation. “Some of this actually happened,” reads a title card, and to be more specific would spoil the fun. Television previewers Catherine Gee, Sarah Hughes, Clive Morgan, Gerard O'Donovan, Patrick Smith, Gabriel Tate and Rachel Ward

What's on TV tonight: Russia with Simon Reeve and Eamonn and Ruth’s 7 Year Itch

THURSDAY 28 SEPTEMBER RUSSIA WITH SIMON REEVE BBC Two, 9.00pm Explorer Simon Reeve balances an occasional taste for cliché (“a country of utter extremes”, indeed!) with a constant, healthy curiosity and a canny way with locals of all stripes in his latest travelogue – what he calls “the big one”. This three-part epic sends him from Kamchatka in the far east of Russia to St Petersburg, but what elevates it from the lazier celebrity-fronted affairs is our guide’s knack for weighing up history and current affairs, cultural minutiae and global geopolitics. Russia is a nation with plenty of all this so Reeve is in his element, whether nosing around the evocative ruins of a submarine base, tagging along on a twilit recce for a Siberian tiger or hanging out with the remote communities of reindeer herders who are eking out a subsistence and concerned that their children will abandon their traditions. The shadow cast by Putin’s police state is long, with Reeve and his team seriously inconvenienced on more than one occasion by their none-too-subtle attentions of local authorities, but even this is put into sharp perspective by the grim prognosis for Siberia’s permafrost. Melting at an increasing rate, its fate could determine the future of the planet itself. GT DESIGNATED SURVIVOR Netflix, from 12.01am This ludicrous but enjoyable Kiefer Sutherland vehicle enters series two, with unlikely President Tom Kirkman (Sutherland) slowly growing into his role while continuing the hunt for the evildoers behind the explosion that destroyed the Capitol Building and the rest of the Cabinet. GT EUROPEAN TOUR GOLF: The British Masters Sky Sports Golf, 9.30am Coverage of the opening day of the British Masters at Close House in Northumberland, where the field battles to succeed last year’s champion Alexander Norenunt.  GT SAFE HOUSE ITV, 9.00pm The spectacularly daft thriller reaches a hysterical climax as Tom (Stephen Moyer) and Sam (Zoe Tapper) clash over his past, just as The Crow descends on their safe house – but is it Liam (Joel MacCormack), Roger (Andrew Tiernan) or someone else entirely? GT EDUCATING GREATER MANCHESTER Channel 4, 9.00pm A regular staple of the series, it’s the Educating-meets-Apprentice episode of the Head Boy and Head Girl elections. Interviews and live debates are on the agenda. In the running: a popular young boxer and two ambitious boys, alongside a geeky girl and a rival candidate who hangs out with teachers more than her peers. GT EAMONN & RUTH’S 7 YEAR ITCH Channel 5, 9.00pm Holmes and Langsford, who’ve been married for seven years but together for 20, conclude their survey of tricks to keep a marriage alive. They meet two swingers, a couple who role play and a family whose patriarch is transgender. GT  JOHN BISHOP IN CONVERSATION WITH JIMMY CARR W, 9.00pm Bishop once again proves an estimable interviewer, this time prising open Jimmy Carr’s carapace of “irony” to quiz him on his career and a certain financial “error of judgment”. GT GYPSY KIDS: OUR SECRET WORLD Channel 5, 10.00pm This week the series follows traveller children and their experiences of education – 11-year-old Shannon is leaving school to be trained for her future life maintaining the home, while nine-year-old Michael has to choose between study and practical skills. GT ROOM 104 Sky Atlantic, 10.35pm From the Duplass Brothers (Togetherness), comes this inevitably patchy but occasionally inspired anthology series set in one room of a hotel. The characters passing through it vary with each episode, along with the genre: tonight’s lean opener is a horror-tinged venture into the life of a babysitter. GT THE ACCOUNTANT (2016) Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm ★★☆☆☆ The one thing there’s no accounting for in this film is taste. Ben Affleck plays Christian Wolff, an autistic savant whose career in financial services has brought him into the employ of some of the slimiest mobsters around. For reasons that don’t add up, our hero’s father (Robert C Treveiler) decides it’s in the best interests of his disadvantaged son to train him up as a ruthless killer. I LOVE YOU, MAN (2009) 5STAR, 10.00pm  ★★☆☆☆ Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. HEARTBREAK RIDGE (1986) ITV4, 10.15pm  ★★★☆☆ Producer-director-actor Clint Eastwood casts himself as Sgt Tom Highway (nicknamed Gunney) of the US Marine Corps. Having alienated his superiors, Highway asks to end his career where it began and is transferred to perform gunnery duties in his old outfit in Grenada where he has to rescue students from a Marxist government. Not Eastwood’s best, but still a decent action film and it was nominated for an Oscar. FRIDAY 29 SEPTEMBER Harrison Ford and Ryan Gosling Credit: WireImage THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW BBC One, 10.35pm Third from the top of the BBC’s recently published list of its highest earners (at between £850,000 and £899,000 a year), Graham Norton returns to the Friday evening schedules – as sure a sign that the nights are drawing in as the return of Strictly Come Dancing and The X Factor at the weekends.  The fact is Norton is a big draw not only for audiences but for celebrities, too, and he consistently eclipses every other UK chat show host when it comes to attracting the biggest stars from home and abroad to have a natter on his curvy red sofa.  Visiting Hollywood actors appear to be especially enamoured and that’s certainly the case in tonight’s show as Stars Wars and Indiana Jones star Harrison Ford and La La Land’s Ryan Gosling turn up to talk about their new sci-fi sequel Blade Runner 2049. Also making an appearance is Reese Witherspoon, who, fresh from the success of Big Little Lies at the Emmy Awards, is on hand to plug her latest comedy Home Again, while Margot Robbie (who is in Time magazine’s list of 2017’s most influential people) brings at least a hint of Britishness with talk of her new AA Milne biopic, Goodbye Christopher Robin. GO STARTUP Amazon Prime, from today Series one of this Miami-based drama, about entrepreneurs financing tech start-ups with dirty money, got a mixed reaction. But now it gets a deserved second season, with Martin Freeman returning as the exceedingly nasty FBI agent Phil Rask. Ron Perlman also joins the cast as the mercurial moneyman behind the latest venture.  GO LONG SHOT Netflix, from today A needle-in-haystack documentary, featuring Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Larry David, about how the fate of a man accused of murder rested on proving he was in a crowd of 54,000 people at a baseball game.  GO ONE-DAY INTERNATIONAL CRICKET: England v West Indies Sky Sports Main Event, 12.00noon Action from the fifth and final fixture in the series, which takes place at the Ageas Bowl in Southampton. Can Eoin Morgan’s men bring the curtain down on England’s summer endeavours in style? GO UNREPORTED WORLD Channel 4, 7.30pm The foreign affairs series returns with Marcel Theroux reporting on an unlikely explosion of home-grown pop music in China. These groups are working in defiance of the country’s censorship and against a government crackdown on authority-defying acts. GO BRITAIN BY BIKE WITH LARRY & GEORGE LAMB Channel 5, 8.00pm The father-and-son team of George and Larry Lamb take to two wheels for a convivial trip around Britain’s best national park cycle routes. They begin in the Yorkshire Dales, where they try fly-fishing and rock climbing before tackling a section of the 2014 Tour de France route. GO THE LAST PIRATES: BRITAIN’S REBEL DJS BBC Four, 9.00pm Forget Radio Caroline and Radio Luxembourg – rapper Rodney P tells the story of how, in the Eighties, a new wave of pirate radio stations created a platform for emerging rap artists and changed the soundtrack of Thatcher’s Britain. GO COLD FEET ITV, 9.00pm The focus of Mike Bullen’s entertaining comedy drama returns to the tangled love life of Adam (James Nesbitt) as his girlfriend Tina (Leanne Best) falls victim to online revenge porn. Meanwhile, Karen (Hermione Norris) is aided by an unlikely white knight in her fight against the hostile takeover bid. GO A CELEBRITY TASTE OF ITALY Channel 5, 9.00pm Nice work if you can get it: Ian Lavender, Rula Lenska, Judith Chalmers and Johnny Ball head to a luxury villa in Italy for a masterclass in how to prepare the best local foods and wines. This week, the enticing flavours of Tuscany. GO OUR SOULS AT NIGHT (2017) Netflix, from today  ★★★☆☆ Jane Fonda and Robert Redford – whose three-film partnership in the Sixties and Seventies, across The Chase, Barefoot in the Park and The Electric Horseman, set them apart as one of the most indecently gorgeous screen couples the movies ever produced – are on fizzing form in this cosy autumnal romance as two widowed neighbours who begin sleeping in bed together platonically to alleviate their loneliness. FLETCH (1985) Film4, 6.55pm  ★★★☆☆ Chevy Chase delivers dry one-liners and physical slapstick in this breezy comedy film that saw the peak of the actor’s career. Based on a series of novels by Gregory McDonald, the cult movie, which is one of the more quotable comedies of the Eighties, stars Chase as Fletch, a smart alec investigative reporter for an LA newspaper who is approached by a wealthy man who asks Fletch to kill him. UP IN THE AIR (2009) BBC One, 11.55pm  ★★★★☆ Jason Reitman (whose second film Juno earned him Oscar nominations) directs this witty love story. Ryan (George Clooney) is a downsizing expert, who flies around the US and fires people. That is, until a graduate (Anna Kendrick) proposes to save on airfares by getting staff to carry out sackings via video. Bingham is not happy; he likes the high life, and he likes fellow flyer Alex (Vera Farmiga). Saturday 30 September Popular poetry: how Auden still connects with modern life Credit: Getty Images Stop All the Clocks: WH Auden in an Age of Anxiety BBC Two, 9.00pm; Wales, 10.30pm As anyone who’s seen Richard Curtis’s film Four Weddings and a Funeral will attest, W H Auden’s poetry has considerable emotional potency. Indeed, those not reduced to tears at the sight of John Hannah reading Stop All the Clocks should consult their doctor as soon as possible. (“He was my North, my South, my East and West/My working week and my Sunday rest/My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song/I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.”) His words also provide succour in troubled times: many New Yorkers, in fact, turned to his poem September 1, 1939 – a response to the outbreak of the Second World War – in the aftermath of 9/11.  Launching a season of poetry programmes, this excellent documentary from director Adam Low looks at why the craggy-faced Auden – whose reputation in Britain soured after his decision to move to America in 1939 – still has a great hold on our imaginations. Among those paying tribute to Auden’s words – a mix of humanity, scepticism and unsuppressed honesty – are writers Alan Bennett, Alexander McCall Smith and Curtis, who studied Auden at university. Patrick Smith Live Premier League Football: Chelsea v Manchester City BT Sport 1, 5.00pm The two teams’ last encounter at Stamford Bridge in April ended well for Chelsea, who won 2-1, thanks to a brace from Eden Hazard. But City have looked imperious this season: unbeaten in the league, they’ve won five of their six matches. Third-placed Chelsea go into this game with momentum from an impressive 4-0 victory at Stoke. In terms of their starting line-up, Pep Guardiola’s side must cope without summer signing Benjamin Mendy; the French full-back is currently sidelined with a ligament injury.  Strictly Come Dancing BBC One, 6.45pm This year’s competition is full of characters – from the divine Reverend Richard Coles and his disco-dad dancing to the gleefully giddy Debbie McGee – but tonight they must all impress not just the judges but the viewers, too: the first couple will be voted off in tomorrow’s results show.   Britain Afloat BBC Two, 8.00pm; N Ireland, 8.30pm Throughout our history, boats have played a major role and, in this new six-part series, Mary-Ann Ochota travels Britain’s waterways to see how they shaped our lives. Here, she explores the role boats played at Dunkirk and joins the Thames Barge match. The X Factor: Boot Camp ITV, 8.00pm Now that the auditions are over, it’s time for the lucky hopefuls to take part in Boot Camp. Those who manage to impress judges Simon, Nicole, Sharon and Louis will go through to the dreaded Six Chair Challenge. More tomorrow at 7.30pm.  The Doors Night Sky Arts, from 8.00pm In 1967, The Doors broke on through, releasing a string of hit singles and two platinum albums. With their intoxicating blend of blues, jazz and poetry, they exploded into the public consciousness, becoming one of the soundtracks to the Summer of Love. Now, 50 years later, Sky Arts is dedicating an evening of programming to the quartet, whose name is a reference to Aldous Huxley’s Doors of Perception. First up, in Rock Poet, is a fascinating profile of The Doors’ shamanistic frontman Jim Morrison, who died aged 27. Next is The Doors: Feast of Friends, which follows the band on the road. Rounding off the night is footage of their famous 1968 concert at the Hollywood Bowl. Black Lake BBC Four, 9.00pm and 9.40pm This fun Swedish supernatural chiller reaches its penultimate episodes, and there’s something nasty lurking in the cellar at the ski lodge, leaving the gang in a state of shock. PS The Jonathan Ross Show ITV, 9.30pm US singer Demi Lovato is on Jonathan Ross’s guest list as she promotes her “intimate” documentary Simply Complicated. She is joined by Doc Martin’s Martin Clunes and This Morning’s Holly Willoughby. The music comes from The X Factor 2012 winner James Arthur. Clive Morgan Now You See Me (2013) ★★☆☆☆ Channel 4, 9.00pm  A group of illusionists (Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher and Dave Franco) are encouraged to carry out a string of heists by a mysterious figure, while remaining ahead of FBI agent Rhodes (Mark Ruffalo), who is desperate to bring them to justice. Director Louis Leterrier tries to mimic the complex plots of films such as Inception, but with less success, though it’s reasonably entertaining. Transcendence (2014) ★★☆☆☆ Channel 4, 11.15pm  Johnny Depp and Rebecca Hall star as Will and Evelyn Caster, married artificial-intelligence scientists who download his brain patterns to a hard drive. This isn’t a casual choice: at a state-of-the-future convention, Will is grazed by a would-be assassin’s bullet, which is laced with a radioactive isotope, giving him weeks to live. The film, co-starring Cillian Murphy, is visually stylish but let down by poor storytelling. The Edge of Love (2008) ★★★☆☆ BBC Two, 11.35pm; Wales, 1.05am; not Scot  A fascinating story set during the Second World War about poet Dylan Thomas’s (Matthew Rhys) relationships with two women: his hedonistic Irish wife (Sienna Miller) and his Welsh childhood lover (Keira Knightley). An intense Jules et Jim-esque set-up develops, but the film could do with more about the art and less about the artist’s love life. It’s scripted by Knightley’s mother. Sunday 1 October Bad girl: Jessica Raine stars as military wife Alison Credit: BBC The Last Post BBC One, 9.00pm This intriguing six-part drama, scripted by playwright Peter Moffat, is set against an unusual backdrop – the mid-Sixties conflict that took place in the then British Crown Colony of Aden on the southern Arabian peninsula. Jessica Raine is the star attraction in the bad-girl role of Alison, the drunken, unhappy and unfaithful wife of conscientious but undervalued military policeman Lieutenant Ed Laithwaite (Stephen Campbell Moore).  The atmosphere of unrelenting heat and dust is very well conveyed, as is the day-to-day tedium of life for military wives on a Royal Military Police base and the hierarchies of rank that must be observed. We get the full introduction in this opening episode as newlyweds Captain Joe Martin (Jeremy Neumark Jones) and his wife Honor (Jessie Buckley) arrive on the base as the going-away party for the popular man he’s replacing, Captain Page (Joseph Kennedy), is in full swing. Meanwhile, Laithwaite receives information that an attack on the base by rebel fighters is imminent, but his commanding officer, Major Markham (Ben Miles) refuses to take his warnings seriously. What happens next is not as obvious as you might expect. Gerard O’Donovan Live Formula 1: Malaysia Grand Prix Sky Sports Main Event & Channel 4, 7.35am The 19th Grand Prix in this country will also be its last, as the Malaysian government withdraws funding for the Sepang circuit. Drivers had to endure the challenge of racing in 50-degree heat, with hydration as important as a full tank. Lewis Hamilton will be hoping to increase his lead in the championship with another victory, but a mix of unpredictable weather and a track known for its sharp corners should ensure that this Grand Prix keeps throwing up surprises right until the very end. Live NFL: New Orleans Saints v Miami Dolphins BBC Two, 1.45pm Wembley Stadium is the setting again for the NFL, having hosted Jacksonville Jaguars’ 44-7 demolition of the Baltimore Ravens last weekend. This will be a fourth trip to Wembley for the Dolphins, who appeared in the first International Series game here in 2007 when they lost 13-10 to the New York Giants, while their most recent appearance saw them defeated 27-14 by the New York Jets in 2015. The Saints have less experience of playing at Wembley, but did register a 37-32 win over the then-San Diego Chargers in 2008, in their only previous trip to the UK.  Live Premier League Rugby Union: Wasps v Bath BT Sport 1, 2.15pm The new season has turned sour for both teams, and Wasps are keen to avoid their third successive defeat. If history is an indicator they should have the upper hand, having won their last four matches against Bath – the most recent of which finished 24-3, with two tries from Kurtley Beale helping them on their way. The visitors come into this match on the back of an agonising 33-32 defeat to Newcastle Falcons, who scored twice in the last 15 minutes to come from behind in a nine-try thriller. Cornwall’s Native Poet: Charles Causley BBC Four, 8.00pm This documentary, the first of three films from the BBC’s Contains Strong Language poetry strand, celebrates the life and work of Charles Causley, a Cornish poet so deeply rooted in the county that he only left his home town of Launceston once, for naval service in the Second World War. Escape Channel 4, 8.00pm There are five people stranded in the middle of a desert following a plane crash. They have one chance of survival: creating another vehicle from the plane wreckage. That’s the premise of this new series in which five engineers are challenged to use their ingenuity and skill to escape a tricky situation. Men Who Sleep in Cars BBC Four, 9.00pm Scripted entirely in verse, poet Michael Symmons Roberts’s film is a love song to the city of Manchester. It tells the poignant story of three rough sleepers whose impoverished lives are seen in contrast to the great wealth of the city. With Maxine Peake. Electric Dreams:The Commuter Channel 4, 9.00pm The third story in this enjoyable series based on sci-fi pioneer Philip K Dick’s stories stars Timothy Spall as a railway attendant with a sad home life. But when he meets a mysterious traveller, he is forced to choose between fantasy and reality. Dawn French Live: 30 Million Minutes BBC Two, 10.00pm; NI, 10.55pm; Wales, 10.45pm Recorded last year in London’s West End, this is the actress and comedian’s live solo show, inspired by the tough but entertaining lessons she’s learnt from life.  Child in Mind BBC Four, 10.00pm Simon Armitage has a talent for making powerfully poetic television. Here he mixes documentary footage and verse to give a voice to the dispossessed women in Britain, the mothers of the 3,000 children placed in care every year. GO Boris Johnson: Blond Ambition Channel 4, 10.05pm After a period of calm, the Boris bandwagon is gathering speed once again following the publication of his vision for a post-Brexit Britain in The Telegraph. Here Channel 4’s political editor Gary Gibbon looks back at Johnson’s 14 months as Foreign Secretary, assessing his impact and success on the world stage. GO Happy Feet (2006) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 3.45pm  Australian director George Miller won a Best Animated Feature Oscar for this entertaining believe-in-yourself animation. Mumble, a misfit emperor penguin (baby voice by Elizabeth Daily, adult voice by Elijah Wood) is causing his parents (voiced by Nicole Kidman and Jackman) concern because he can’t sing and is therefore unable to attract a mate. Mumble can tap-dance, though, and therein lies his salvation. A United Kingdom (2016) ★★★★☆   Sky Movies Premiere, 8.00pm  Amma Asante’s film retells a true story that took place simultaneously in the corridors of Westminster and the country now known as Botswana just over half a century ago. It’s about the inter-racial romance between English woman Ruth (Rosamund Pike) and Seretse (David Oyelowo), the future king. It’s stirring stuff and a chapter of history that rewards a close reading. Memphis Belle (1990) ★★★☆☆☆ ITV4, 9.05pm  It’s 1943, and the handsome American crew of Second World War B-17 bomber Memphis Belle, who are stationed in England, are anticipating their final mission – to fly over Nazi-occupied Europe. Full of nostalgia, this loosely based-on-real-events story exudes a romanticised view of heroism, but features an endearing cast, including Billy Zane, Sean Astin,John Lithgow, Eric Stoltz, and Harry Connick Jr. Monday 2 October The curmudgeon returns: Larry David is back after six years Credit: HBO/Skt Curb Your Enthusiasm Sky Atlantic, 10.00pm Cometh the hour, cometh the curmudgeon. It’s been six years since we last saw the irascible Larry David and the rest of his gang of malcontents, and this return is something of a surprise delight given that David had previously claimed to have mined every last possible drop from his alter-ego’s grumpy loathing of modern life.  No previews were available for this opening episode, which is not a surprise seeing as David has always run a tight ship regarding spoilers and HBO went into lockdown after episodes were leaked during the summer. So what can we expect? Bryan Cranston joins the cast as Larry’s new therapist, the wonderful double act of Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen return, and David has promised that we’ll uncover just what happened after Larry left for Paris with perpetual house guest Leon (the scene-stealing J B Smoove). “It’s been a five-year log-jam of indignities and violations of etiquette,” executive producer Jeff Schaffer told Variety and it’s true that Curb’s return seems particularly suited to our current times. “Every day confirms, more and more, he’s right! He’s right about everything,” noted David. One thing is certain: it’ll be fun finding out if that’s true. Sarah Hughes Race and Pace: The West Indians in East Lancashire BBC Four, 7.30pm When West Indian cricketers began to arrive in Lancashire, the Northern county was hit for six. This enlightening documentary, narrated by Death in Paradise’s Don Warrington, tells the story of how initial reticence and racism turned into an unlikely cricketing love affair. Among those recalling their experiences are knights of the cricketing order, Viv Richards and Wes Hall, who also discuss the huge impact West Indian players made on the LCC and the resulting effect it had on both sides of the Atlantic over the past 90 years. Tunes for Tyrants: Music & Power with Suzy Klein BBC Four, 9.00pm Presented by Suzy Klein, this documentary is an exploration of music’s crucial political role in the most turbulent years of the 20th century. It begins with the Radio 3 presenter looking at the years following the Russian Revolution and the First World War when music was seen as a tool to change society. CM Liar ITV, 9.00pm After last week’s revelation, the William brothers’ potboiler continues apace. In the fourth episode, dogged “rape victim” Laura Nielson (Joanne Froggatt) travels to Edinburgh to find out how Andrew Earlham’s (Ioan Gruffudd) wife’s really died. Paddington Station 24/7 Channel 5, 9.00pm Watching this behind-the-scenes look at London’s Paddington Station, you can understand why rail passengers become frustrated by the service. In this episode, the staff have to deal with signal problems during rush hour. Later, a team of engineers race to replace 60 ft of rail hours before the morning rush begins. W1A BBC Two, 10.00pm; not NI John Morton’s parody of life inside Broadcasting House always manages to find big laughs in unusual circumstances. Tonight, the Renewal Team propose to get rid of the BBC Big Swing Band, and marketing guru Siobhan (the excellent Jessica Hynes) decides to make a trailer to launch the YouTube-like BBC ME.  Stacey Dooley Investigates: Mums Selling Their Kids for Sex BBC One, 10.45pm; NI, 11.10pm; Scot, 11.45pm In this disturbing film, previously shown on BBC Three, Dooley is in the Philippines to investigate mothers who sexually exploit their children live on the web. Clive Morgan Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) ★★★☆☆☆ 5STAR, 8.00pm  Back in 1994, Jim Carrey went from near obscurity to starring in three hits in a year. The first was this very funny comedy about a zany pet detective who finds himself out of his depth (the others were The Mask and Dumb & Dumber). Here, he’s hired by Miami’s NFL team to track down their mascot, a bottlenose dolphin named Snowflake, before the Super Bowl. Courteney Cox co-stars as the team’s publicist. Moulin Rouge! (2001) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 8.00pm  Baz Luhrmann’s intoxicating spectacle was the first musical to be nominated for the Best Picture Oscar in 22 years. Set in 1899, Montmartre, it follows a poet (Ewan McGregor) who becomes love-struck with the city’s famous courtesan (Nicole Kidman, who enters the film on a bejazzled swing). The mix of period setting and contemporary pop ensure a vivid assault on the senses. The Specialist (1994) ★★☆☆☆ ITV4, 10.00pm  Sharon Stone slinks around Sylvester Stallone in this celebrity vehicle that garnered a lot of attention, at the time of release, for its sex scene. Stallone plays a former CIA bomb expert hired by Stone to destroy the Mob that killed her family. Supporting actor James Woods remains unscathed in a film full of giant explosions, silly plot twists, and Rod Steiger trying out a Cuban accent (indecipherable and hilarious). Tuesday 3 October Caught in the middle: Suranne Jones and Tom Taylor Credit: BBC Doctor Foster BBC One, 9.00pm Handbrake turns have become the norm in the extraordinary second series of Mike Bartlett’s ripe melodrama, with showdown following showdown, passive aggression increasingly supplanted by straightforward aggression, and twists galore threatening a lurch into the territory of Fatal Attraction, only in reverse. The Fosters are in disarray – Simon (Bertie Carvel) is estranged from his second family and income stream, while Gemma (Suranne Jones) is concerned that her actions have pushed away their son (Tom Taylor, the show’s unsung star). We left Gemma driving at speed towards Simon – what happens next remains under wraps, but suffice to say that the most unexpected twist in tonight’s conclusion is one of tone: from operatic melodrama (albeit sustained by brilliant performances) into sombre contemplation – the fallout after the explosion. Flashbacks illustrate both the affection once at the heart of the family and a failure to meet the needs of its most vulnerable member. The door is left wide open for a third series; it’s been fun, but has strained credibility – it might be wise to emulate the Doctor Foster of the nursery rhyme and never go there again. Gabriel Tate Rodney Carrington: Here Comes the Truth Netflix, from 12.01am Rodney Carrington’s stand-up is an unapologetically crude assault on political correctness (his material ranges from Muslims to his manhood), but, undeniably, he has a big following in the US. This recording from his most recent tour will establish whether this acquired taste is also yours. The Great British Bake Off Channel 4, 8.00pm With the chancers and fudgers departed, Prue Leith and Paul Hollywood have a smorgasbord of class acts from which to choose as Pastry Week dawns: the showstopper sees the bakers attempt a pie with a difference. Reformation: Europe’s Holy War BBC Two, 9.00pm Once inescapable, David Starkey now makes infrequent appearances on TV; which is just as well, given a little of his strident controversialism generally goes a long way. Here, he’s on entertaining form exploring the malign forces unleashed by the Protestant Reformation some 500 years ago – and their modern parallels. Sex, Chips and Poetry: 50 Years of the Mersey Sound BBC Four, 9.00pm In 1967, the same year that The Beatles released Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, fellow Liverpudlians Roger McGough, Brian Patten and Adrian Henri took the spoken-word revolution started by the Beat Poets and transformed it into something uniquely British. This amiable and richly deserved tribute documentary, narrated by Isy Suttie, celebrates the 50th anniversary of their work on The Mersey Sound, one of the best-selling poetry anthologies of all time, which is still a mainstay on school syllabuses. GT Barbie: the Most Famous Doll in the World Channel 4, 9.15pm Mary Portas visits toymaker Mattel, attends conventions and talks to children in a bid to make sense of a doll blamed for entrenching everything from everyday sexism to unrealistic body images. How can an apparently outmoded icon be reinvented for the modern age? The Insider: Reggie Yates in a Refugee Camp BBC One, 10.45pm; NI, 11.10pm; Scot, 11.45pm In this documentary, first shown on BBC Three, Reggie Yates spends a week in Iraq’s largest refugee camp, where he lives alongside 30,000 displaced Syrians facing an uncertain future. GT The Karate Kid (2010) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 6.15pm  To most people’s surprise, this is a more-than-satisfying update on the much-loved original, though also comes across as an extended tourism advert. Jaden Smith (son of Will) plays a 12-year-old who moves from Detroit to Beijing with his mother (Taraji P Henson). There he becomes a punching bag for local bullies, but makes a new friend in a maintenance man and martial arts master Mr Han (Jackie Chan), who teaches him how to fight. Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009) ★★★☆☆ E4, 8.00pm  This is comfortably the best in the Ice Age series and solid children’s entertainment, but you may need to explain that dinosaurs didn’t live in a vast hothouse under the glaciers, and woolly mammoths called Manny probably weren’t on chummy terms with sabre-toothed tigers called Diego. Here, the gang head to a tropical lost world to rescue Sid the Sloth (John Leguizamo). 22 Jump Street (2014) ★★★☆☆ ITV2, 9.00pm  Channing Tatum’s charisma and the best malapropisms ever make this sequel to 21 Jump Street a joy. Instead of infiltrating school to arrest the suppliers of a drug, Jonah Hill’s Schmidt and Tatum’s Jenko infiltrate college to do… exactly the same. The film is directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (The Lego Movie) who are becoming the handiest duo since the Coen brothers. Wednesday 4 October Back in business: Lord Sugar (centre) with Karren Brady and Claude Littner Credit: BBC The Apprentice BBC One, 9.00pm Thirteen series in and we all know by now that The Apprentice is not so much a search for the brightest and best new business entrepreneurs, but an exercise in finding the one polishable, er, apple in a barrelful of “pony and trap” as adept cockney rhymer Lord Sugar puts it. And what fun it still is watching all those overinflated young egos being cut down to size by the process.  This time 18 candidates vie for the prize of £250,000 start-up capital, and just to remind the wannabe tycoons what a great opportunity they’re being given, Lord Sugar marches five previous winners into the boardroom to beguile them with tales of success.  The opening challenge, though, couldn’t be more basic: making burgers and flogging them on the street. Which is not to say there isn’t lots of room for error and unfathomably gross stupidity, too. In fact, you’re pretty much guaranteed to spend most of this show slapping your forehead at the unadulterated ineptitude of some of these self-proclaimed geniuses. In other words, a great start to what looks like being another hilarious series with, as ever, The Apprentice: You’re Fired following, at 10pm on BBC Two. Gerard O’Donovan Who Do You Think You Are? BBC One, 8.00pm Some editions of this latest series have felt less like journeys of discovery and more like genetic quests. Here, comedian Ruby Wax sets out to discover whether her mental health issues might have been evident earlier in her family line. Billion Dollar Deals and How They Changed Your World BBC Two, 8.00pm Yes, it’s a conspiracy. In the second programme of his absorbing series about how the world is ruled not by politicians but by decisions made in corporate boardrooms, Jacques Peretti considers why big business is currently so determined to kill off cash.  The Detectives: Murder on the Streets BBC Two, 9.00pm “It not like the Seventies. It’s not about slapping people. It’s about what you disclose to the person.” The art of tripping suspects up in their own lies inches Manchester police ever closer to solving two brutal killings in this nail-biting real-life crime series. Britain’s Lost Masterpieces BBC Four, 9.00pm Bendor Grosvenor and Emma Dabiri head to the Derby Museum to investigate a painting that suffered an unusually poor early restoration. Could it be a work by the great 18th-century British master, Joseph Wright of Derby, and if so can it be returned to its former glory?  The Great War in Numbers Yesterday, 9.00pm Think of the First World War and it’s the millions of lives lost in the trenches that come to mind. But, as this documentary series reveals, everything about the Great War was on a scale previously unparalleled: machine guns in millions, artillery shells in billions, the mind-boggling logistics of keeping vast numbers of men fed, clothed and fighting fit in the field. Tonight’s first film of six explores how the empires of Germany, France, Russia and Britain were able to pour so much wealth into the industrialisation of warfare. GO Back Channel 4, 10.00pm Fate just seems to get crueller for Stephen (David Mitchell) when Andrew (Robert Webb) manages to increase his share in the pub. But then Alison (Olivia Poulet) uncovers information that could yet force the cuckoo out of the family nest. GO Mercury Rising (1998) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm  Bruce Willis is excellent as an undercover FBI agent assigned to protect a nine-year-old autistic boy (Miko Hughes) who is targeted by assassins after cracking a top secret government code in this underrated, if slightly unrealistic, thriller based on the Ryne Douglas Pearson novel Simon Says. The plot moves at breakneck speed yet, ultimately, it’s a touching and heart-warming story. The Football Factory (2004) ★★★☆☆ London Live, 10.00pm  John King’s book The Football Factory is an unnerving and brutal account of hooliganism in the Nineties, centring on a firm of Chelsea boot boys and their clashes with rival “fans”. Nick Love’s film certainly captures the thuggery, with Danny Dyer as Tommy, for whom life is about drink, drugs, sex, thieving and a good ruck – but who begins to question his ways. Made in France (2015) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 10.00pm  This thriller, about a wave of jihadist attacks on Paris, was pulled from cinemas following its plot’s number of unnerving parallels with recent events in the French capital. In it, an extremist cell plans a series of shootings and bombings across the city “that will shake France” and the world. Director Nicholas Boukhrief said he made the film to counter the “poison” of jihadist propaganda. Thursday 5 October Fire safety: in the wake of the Grenfell Tower disaster Credit: PA The Housing Enforcers BBC One, 8.00pm; BBC Two Wales, 7.00pm “Everyone has a right to a safe place to live, no matter who you are, where you live or how much rent you pay. It’s non-negotiable.” So concludes Matt Allwright at the end of this programme focusing on the importance of fire safety.  The format is straightforward: Allwright travels across the country meeting with housing officers and examining the myriad ways in which fires can destroy lives. What makes this really hit home, however, is the presenter’s quiet fury at the way in which some lives are considered less worthy than others. Inevitably, the shadow of Grenfell Tower hangs heavy over the hour. It’s notable that many of those worst affected are elderly and living alone: the story of fiercely independent Ali who refuses to acknowledge, even to his family, quite how much he is struggling is particularly poignant. Allwright, however, saves his most righteous rage for the landlords squeezing tenants in wherever they can and failing to meet even the minimum health and safety standards. The result is a hard-hitting and often hard-to-watch documentary, which also offers solid advice on how to deal both with fires and bad landlords. Sarah Hughes Live International Football: England v Slovenia ITV, 7.30pm Having drawn 0-0 last October, with Joe Hart forced to make a string of fine saves, England and Slovenia reconvene at Wembley. Victory today for Gareth Southgate’s men will ensure their qualification for next year’s World Cup in Russia. And having beaten second-placed Slovakia 2-1 last month, thanks to a strike from tyro Marcus Rashford, they’ll be confident of doing just that. The Big Family Cooking Showdown BBC Two, 8.00pm Two last families go head to head for a place in the finals. Their £10 challenge is a Friday night takeaway, so naturally curry is on the menu. There’s talk of “fusion” cooking, some mushy spinach and a 34-year-old rolling pin.   Discovering: Laurence Olivier Sky Arts, 8.00pm The spotlight turns on Laurence Olivier, who, in 1937, described cinema as an “anaemic little medium which could not stand great acting”.   Ambulance BBC One, 9.00pm The work of the West Midlands Ambulance Service continues as a specialist trauma team are dispatched to a motorbike accident where a man has suffered a catastrophic chest injury. “I’ve got nothing…” declares the doctor. It’s a stark reminder of the fragility of life and the increasing compassion of the services in times of chaos.    Russia with Simon Reeve BBC Two, 9.00pm Simon Reeve continues his fascinating journey, meeting Tuvan children in Siberia who practice the Mongolian tradition of throat singing.  Educating Greater Manchester Channel 4, 9.00pm Ah, that old chestnut – ignoring school uniform rules. This week, the teachers at Harrop Fold are on the back foot when a message is spread on Snapchat encouraging pupils to come in wearing trainers. Social media also causes friction between Year 11 girls Serena and Lelo when one talks to the other’s boyfriend on FaceTime. Rachel Ward Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez murders Sky Living, 9.00pm This series, similar to The People v OJ Simpson, takes a closer look at the two trials of brothers Lyle and Erik Menendez, who were convicted of murdering their parents in their Beverly Hills home in 1989. It focuses on the attorney (Edie Falco), who was one of their few defenders. Dimension 404 Syfy, 9.00pm Each episode of this new sci-fi anthology features a form of technology gone wrong. But there’s nothing unnerving about it, rather it’s a camp pastiche of The Twilight Zone, complete with Star Wars’ Mark Hamill providing the voice-over. Glee’s Lea Michele stars in the first episode about online dating. It’s weird, but it doesn’t overplay it. RW Robin and Marian (1976) ★★★★☆ Film4, 1.10pm  Sean Connery gives one of his best performances as a middle-aged Robin Hood, who heads home to Sherwood Forest after the death of Richard I. He finds that scaling a castle wall isn’t as easy as it used to be, Maid Marian (Audrey Hepburn) is still miffed at being left in the lurch, and the Sheriff (Robert Shaw) is up to his old tricks in Richard Lester’s good-natured romance. Look out for Ronnie Barker as Friar Tuck. Jerry Maguire (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 5.40pm  In Cameron Crowe’s macho romcom, Tom Cruise plays a sports agent who has an attack of conscience and urges his colleagues to think about the welfare of their clients. He’s duly fired but announces that he’ll start his own agency. A washed-up footballer (Cuba Gooding Jr) and a single mother (Renée Zellweger) are the only ones who agree to go with him. Here, the classic quote, “You had me at ‘hello’” was born. The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 10.10pm Clint Eastwood directs and stars in this marvellous warm-hearted western adapted from Forrest Carter’s novel and set during the American Civil War. Eastwood plays the eponymous Missouri farmer who, driven by memories of his family’s slaughter, becomes an outlaw when he refuses to join his Confederate comrades in surrender, in favour of seeking revenge on the men who murdered his kin. Friday 6 October Penal colony: Harry Peacock, Kevin Bishop and Ricky Grover Credit: BBC Porridge BBC One, 9.30pm The most successful of the BBC’s classic sitcom revivals from last year, Porridge returns for a full series with the series’ creators Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais once again on board. It finds Nigel Norman Fletcher (Kevin Bishop as the grandson of Ronnie Barker’s character, Norman Stanley) locking horns with officer Meekie (Mark Bonnar) while aiding or outsmarting the prison’s ne’er-do-wells. In a canny twist, it is Fletch who is now the relative ingénue in his cell, seeking counsel from veteran lag Joe Lotterby (Dave Hill). We find Fletch as the prison’s resident Cyrano de Bergerac, writing letters to keep the flame of romance alive between assorted inmates and their partners on the outside. All goes well until Fletch suffers a crisis of conscience that threatens the whole operation. Some of the gags are groanworthy, but Clement and La Frenais’s mastery of sitcom mechanics remains complete; their presence keeps the spirit of the original intact, while the update means that no one is attempting to emulate the cast of the Seventies series. Fletch has a five-year sentence to serve; unlikely as it might seem, a similar term for Porridge might not be unwelcome. Gabriel Tate Suburra: the Series Netflix, from 12.01am Like Romanzo Criminale and Gomorrah before it, Suburra began life as a book before becoming a gripping, multifaceted Italian-language political thriller. This 10-part series, set in the dying days of Berlusconi’s regime, explores the themes of politics, the Church and corruption during 20 tumultuous days in Rome. Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Ireland faces a pivotal referendum on the decriminalisation of abortion in certain circumstances; Kate Hardie-Buckley meets those on both sides of the debate in a deeply affecting edition of the current-affairs series. Modern Family Sky1, 8.30pm It may have tailed off since its peak, but Modern Family is still good for a few laughs. The ninth series begins with Jay (Ty Burrell) taking the family on a houseboat holiday, and Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) encountering an old flame. Gardeners’ World BBC Two, 9.00pm; not N Ireland or Wales Monty Don begins preparations for 2018 by advising others on how to use leaf mould as a mulch. Elsewhere, Adam Frost visits a community allotment in Manchester, and Nick Bailey learns from a zoologist about the life teeming in the soil. Nile Rodgers: How to Make It in the Music Business BBC Four, 9.00pm Guitar genius and pop producer Nile Rodgers shares the wisdom he’s acquired over decades in the music business. In the first episode, he discusses the founding of Chic and his influence on today’s hitmakers. GT Cold Feet ITV, 9.00pm Karen (Hermione Norris) is on the brink of financial disaster in spite of David’s (Robert Bathurst) assistance, while Adam (James Nesbitt) gets out of his depth on a night out in Mike Bullen’s assured comedy-drama revival. The Graham Norton Show BBC One, 10.35pm Another line-up of heavy-hitters assembles on the red sofa tonight: comedian Chris Rock plugs his first UK stand-up tour in a decade, actors Idris Elba and Kate Winslet discuss their niche genre movie, “disaster-romance” The Mountain Between Us (about a surgeon and a journalist who survive a plane crash), and Liam Gallagher performs songs from his debut album, As You Were. GT The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010) ★★★☆☆ E4, 8.00pm  The third instalment of the teenage vampire franchise is better than the second and will please its fan base, though Melissa Rosenberg’s script is full of clichés and relies on a shirtless Taylor Lautner for distraction. Girl-next-door Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) must choose between 100-year-old vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and hunky werewolf Jacob Black (Lautner). T2: Trainspotting (2017) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 10.00pm  Danny Boyle’s sequel is more than just a trip down memory lane. Back in 1996, Trainspotting’s gallery of junkies and rogues (Ewan McGregor, Jonny Lee Miller) proudly and raucously chose not to choose life. But now, all have come to terms with the gnawing possibility that life may have in fact not chosen them. There’s no chance of it matching the legacy of the first film, but it doesn’t tarnish it either. American Hustle (2013) ★★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.10am  David O Russell’s caper feels like the film he has spent his career warming up for and is a serious piece of film-making that delights in its own silliness. Irving (Christian Bale) and his partner Sydney (Amy Adams) are con artists blackmailed by FBI agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper) into aiding his investigation. “Some of this actually happened,” reads a title card, and to be more specific would spoil the fun. Television previewers Catherine Gee, Sarah Hughes, Clive Morgan, Gerard O'Donovan, Patrick Smith, Gabriel Tate and Rachel Ward

What's on TV tonight: Russia with Simon Reeve and Eamonn and Ruth’s 7 Year Itch

THURSDAY 28 SEPTEMBER RUSSIA WITH SIMON REEVE BBC Two, 9.00pm Explorer Simon Reeve balances an occasional taste for cliché (“a country of utter extremes”, indeed!) with a constant, healthy curiosity and a canny way with locals of all stripes in his latest travelogue – what he calls “the big one”. This three-part epic sends him from Kamchatka in the far east of Russia to St Petersburg, but what elevates it from the lazier celebrity-fronted affairs is our guide’s knack for weighing up history and current affairs, cultural minutiae and global geopolitics. Russia is a nation with plenty of all this so Reeve is in his element, whether nosing around the evocative ruins of a submarine base, tagging along on a twilit recce for a Siberian tiger or hanging out with the remote communities of reindeer herders who are eking out a subsistence and concerned that their children will abandon their traditions. The shadow cast by Putin’s police state is long, with Reeve and his team seriously inconvenienced on more than one occasion by their none-too-subtle attentions of local authorities, but even this is put into sharp perspective by the grim prognosis for Siberia’s permafrost. Melting at an increasing rate, its fate could determine the future of the planet itself. GT DESIGNATED SURVIVOR Netflix, from 12.01am This ludicrous but enjoyable Kiefer Sutherland vehicle enters series two, with unlikely President Tom Kirkman (Sutherland) slowly growing into his role while continuing the hunt for the evildoers behind the explosion that destroyed the Capitol Building and the rest of the Cabinet. GT EUROPEAN TOUR GOLF: The British Masters Sky Sports Golf, 9.30am Coverage of the opening day of the British Masters at Close House in Northumberland, where the field battles to succeed last year’s champion Alexander Norenunt.  GT SAFE HOUSE ITV, 9.00pm The spectacularly daft thriller reaches a hysterical climax as Tom (Stephen Moyer) and Sam (Zoe Tapper) clash over his past, just as The Crow descends on their safe house – but is it Liam (Joel MacCormack), Roger (Andrew Tiernan) or someone else entirely? GT EDUCATING GREATER MANCHESTER Channel 4, 9.00pm A regular staple of the series, it’s the Educating-meets-Apprentice episode of the Head Boy and Head Girl elections. Interviews and live debates are on the agenda. In the running: a popular young boxer and two ambitious boys, alongside a geeky girl and a rival candidate who hangs out with teachers more than her peers. GT EAMONN & RUTH’S 7 YEAR ITCH Channel 5, 9.00pm Holmes and Langsford, who’ve been married for seven years but together for 20, conclude their survey of tricks to keep a marriage alive. They meet two swingers, a couple who role play and a family whose patriarch is transgender. GT  JOHN BISHOP IN CONVERSATION WITH JIMMY CARR W, 9.00pm Bishop once again proves an estimable interviewer, this time prising open Jimmy Carr’s carapace of “irony” to quiz him on his career and a certain financial “error of judgment”. GT GYPSY KIDS: OUR SECRET WORLD Channel 5, 10.00pm This week the series follows traveller children and their experiences of education – 11-year-old Shannon is leaving school to be trained for her future life maintaining the home, while nine-year-old Michael has to choose between study and practical skills. GT ROOM 104 Sky Atlantic, 10.35pm From the Duplass Brothers (Togetherness), comes this inevitably patchy but occasionally inspired anthology series set in one room of a hotel. The characters passing through it vary with each episode, along with the genre: tonight’s lean opener is a horror-tinged venture into the life of a babysitter. GT THE ACCOUNTANT (2016) Sky Cinema Premiere, 8.00pm ★★☆☆☆ The one thing there’s no accounting for in this film is taste. Ben Affleck plays Christian Wolff, an autistic savant whose career in financial services has brought him into the employ of some of the slimiest mobsters around. For reasons that don’t add up, our hero’s father (Robert C Treveiler) decides it’s in the best interests of his disadvantaged son to train him up as a ruthless killer. I LOVE YOU, MAN (2009) 5STAR, 10.00pm  ★★☆☆☆ Paul Rudd, realising he has no best man for his wedding, sets out to find himself a buddy in this contrived bromance from Meet the Parents/Fockers creator John Hamburg. Beer-swilling Jason Segal seems to fit the bill, but of course things go wrong. The results aren’t hilarious, but both leading actors have their amusing moments, particularly Rudd with his James Bond impressions and bad air guitar. HEARTBREAK RIDGE (1986) ITV4, 10.15pm  ★★★☆☆ Producer-director-actor Clint Eastwood casts himself as Sgt Tom Highway (nicknamed Gunney) of the US Marine Corps. Having alienated his superiors, Highway asks to end his career where it began and is transferred to perform gunnery duties in his old outfit in Grenada where he has to rescue students from a Marxist government. Not Eastwood’s best, but still a decent action film and it was nominated for an Oscar. FRIDAY 29 SEPTEMBER Harrison Ford and Ryan Gosling Credit: WireImage THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW BBC One, 10.35pm Third from the top of the BBC’s recently published list of its highest earners (at between £850,000 and £899,000 a year), Graham Norton returns to the Friday evening schedules – as sure a sign that the nights are drawing in as the return of Strictly Come Dancing and The X Factor at the weekends.  The fact is Norton is a big draw not only for audiences but for celebrities, too, and he consistently eclipses every other UK chat show host when it comes to attracting the biggest stars from home and abroad to have a natter on his curvy red sofa.  Visiting Hollywood actors appear to be especially enamoured and that’s certainly the case in tonight’s show as Stars Wars and Indiana Jones star Harrison Ford and La La Land’s Ryan Gosling turn up to talk about their new sci-fi sequel Blade Runner 2049. Also making an appearance is Reese Witherspoon, who, fresh from the success of Big Little Lies at the Emmy Awards, is on hand to plug her latest comedy Home Again, while Margot Robbie (who is in Time magazine’s list of 2017’s most influential people) brings at least a hint of Britishness with talk of her new AA Milne biopic, Goodbye Christopher Robin. GO STARTUP Amazon Prime, from today Series one of this Miami-based drama, about entrepreneurs financing tech start-ups with dirty money, got a mixed reaction. But now it gets a deserved second season, with Martin Freeman returning as the exceedingly nasty FBI agent Phil Rask. Ron Perlman also joins the cast as the mercurial moneyman behind the latest venture.  GO LONG SHOT Netflix, from today A needle-in-haystack documentary, featuring Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Larry David, about how the fate of a man accused of murder rested on proving he was in a crowd of 54,000 people at a baseball game.  GO ONE-DAY INTERNATIONAL CRICKET: England v West Indies Sky Sports Main Event, 12.00noon Action from the fifth and final fixture in the series, which takes place at the Ageas Bowl in Southampton. Can Eoin Morgan’s men bring the curtain down on England’s summer endeavours in style? GO UNREPORTED WORLD Channel 4, 7.30pm The foreign affairs series returns with Marcel Theroux reporting on an unlikely explosion of home-grown pop music in China. These groups are working in defiance of the country’s censorship and against a government crackdown on authority-defying acts. GO BRITAIN BY BIKE WITH LARRY & GEORGE LAMB Channel 5, 8.00pm The father-and-son team of George and Larry Lamb take to two wheels for a convivial trip around Britain’s best national park cycle routes. They begin in the Yorkshire Dales, where they try fly-fishing and rock climbing before tackling a section of the 2014 Tour de France route. GO THE LAST PIRATES: BRITAIN’S REBEL DJS BBC Four, 9.00pm Forget Radio Caroline and Radio Luxembourg – rapper Rodney P tells the story of how, in the Eighties, a new wave of pirate radio stations created a platform for emerging rap artists and changed the soundtrack of Thatcher’s Britain. GO COLD FEET ITV, 9.00pm The focus of Mike Bullen’s entertaining comedy drama returns to the tangled love life of Adam (James Nesbitt) as his girlfriend Tina (Leanne Best) falls victim to online revenge porn. Meanwhile, Karen (Hermione Norris) is aided by an unlikely white knight in her fight against the hostile takeover bid. GO A CELEBRITY TASTE OF ITALY Channel 5, 9.00pm Nice work if you can get it: Ian Lavender, Rula Lenska, Judith Chalmers and Johnny Ball head to a luxury villa in Italy for a masterclass in how to prepare the best local foods and wines. This week, the enticing flavours of Tuscany. GO OUR SOULS AT NIGHT (2017) Netflix, from today  ★★★☆☆ Jane Fonda and Robert Redford – whose three-film partnership in the Sixties and Seventies, across The Chase, Barefoot in the Park and The Electric Horseman, set them apart as one of the most indecently gorgeous screen couples the movies ever produced – are on fizzing form in this cosy autumnal romance as two widowed neighbours who begin sleeping in bed together platonically to alleviate their loneliness. FLETCH (1985) Film4, 6.55pm  ★★★☆☆ Chevy Chase delivers dry one-liners and physical slapstick in this breezy comedy film that saw the peak of the actor’s career. Based on a series of novels by Gregory McDonald, the cult movie, which is one of the more quotable comedies of the Eighties, stars Chase as Fletch, a smart alec investigative reporter for an LA newspaper who is approached by a wealthy man who asks Fletch to kill him. UP IN THE AIR (2009) BBC One, 11.55pm  ★★★★☆ Jason Reitman (whose second film Juno earned him Oscar nominations) directs this witty love story. Ryan (George Clooney) is a downsizing expert, who flies around the US and fires people. That is, until a graduate (Anna Kendrick) proposes to save on airfares by getting staff to carry out sackings via video. Bingham is not happy; he likes the high life, and he likes fellow flyer Alex (Vera Farmiga). Saturday 30 September Popular poetry: how Auden still connects with modern life Credit: Getty Images Stop All the Clocks: WH Auden in an Age of Anxiety BBC Two, 9.00pm; Wales, 10.30pm As anyone who’s seen Richard Curtis’s film Four Weddings and a Funeral will attest, W H Auden’s poetry has considerable emotional potency. Indeed, those not reduced to tears at the sight of John Hannah reading Stop All the Clocks should consult their doctor as soon as possible. (“He was my North, my South, my East and West/My working week and my Sunday rest/My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song/I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.”) His words also provide succour in troubled times: many New Yorkers, in fact, turned to his poem September 1, 1939 – a response to the outbreak of the Second World War – in the aftermath of 9/11.  Launching a season of poetry programmes, this excellent documentary from director Adam Low looks at why the craggy-faced Auden – whose reputation in Britain soured after his decision to move to America in 1939 – still has a great hold on our imaginations. Among those paying tribute to Auden’s words – a mix of humanity, scepticism and unsuppressed honesty – are writers Alan Bennett, Alexander McCall Smith and Curtis, who studied Auden at university. Patrick Smith Live Premier League Football: Chelsea v Manchester City BT Sport 1, 5.00pm The two teams’ last encounter at Stamford Bridge in April ended well for Chelsea, who won 2-1, thanks to a brace from Eden Hazard. But City have looked imperious this season: unbeaten in the league, they’ve won five of their six matches. Third-placed Chelsea go into this game with momentum from an impressive 4-0 victory at Stoke. In terms of their starting line-up, Pep Guardiola’s side must cope without summer signing Benjamin Mendy; the French full-back is currently sidelined with a ligament injury.  Strictly Come Dancing BBC One, 6.45pm This year’s competition is full of characters – from the divine Reverend Richard Coles and his disco-dad dancing to the gleefully giddy Debbie McGee – but tonight they must all impress not just the judges but the viewers, too: the first couple will be voted off in tomorrow’s results show.   Britain Afloat BBC Two, 8.00pm; N Ireland, 8.30pm Throughout our history, boats have played a major role and, in this new six-part series, Mary-Ann Ochota travels Britain’s waterways to see how they shaped our lives. Here, she explores the role boats played at Dunkirk and joins the Thames Barge match. The X Factor: Boot Camp ITV, 8.00pm Now that the auditions are over, it’s time for the lucky hopefuls to take part in Boot Camp. Those who manage to impress judges Simon, Nicole, Sharon and Louis will go through to the dreaded Six Chair Challenge. More tomorrow at 7.30pm.  The Doors Night Sky Arts, from 8.00pm In 1967, The Doors broke on through, releasing a string of hit singles and two platinum albums. With their intoxicating blend of blues, jazz and poetry, they exploded into the public consciousness, becoming one of the soundtracks to the Summer of Love. Now, 50 years later, Sky Arts is dedicating an evening of programming to the quartet, whose name is a reference to Aldous Huxley’s Doors of Perception. First up, in Rock Poet, is a fascinating profile of The Doors’ shamanistic frontman Jim Morrison, who died aged 27. Next is The Doors: Feast of Friends, which follows the band on the road. Rounding off the night is footage of their famous 1968 concert at the Hollywood Bowl. Black Lake BBC Four, 9.00pm and 9.40pm This fun Swedish supernatural chiller reaches its penultimate episodes, and there’s something nasty lurking in the cellar at the ski lodge, leaving the gang in a state of shock. PS The Jonathan Ross Show ITV, 9.30pm US singer Demi Lovato is on Jonathan Ross’s guest list as she promotes her “intimate” documentary Simply Complicated. She is joined by Doc Martin’s Martin Clunes and This Morning’s Holly Willoughby. The music comes from The X Factor 2012 winner James Arthur. Clive Morgan Now You See Me (2013) ★★☆☆☆ Channel 4, 9.00pm  A group of illusionists (Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher and Dave Franco) are encouraged to carry out a string of heists by a mysterious figure, while remaining ahead of FBI agent Rhodes (Mark Ruffalo), who is desperate to bring them to justice. Director Louis Leterrier tries to mimic the complex plots of films such as Inception, but with less success, though it’s reasonably entertaining. Transcendence (2014) ★★☆☆☆ Channel 4, 11.15pm  Johnny Depp and Rebecca Hall star as Will and Evelyn Caster, married artificial-intelligence scientists who download his brain patterns to a hard drive. This isn’t a casual choice: at a state-of-the-future convention, Will is grazed by a would-be assassin’s bullet, which is laced with a radioactive isotope, giving him weeks to live. The film, co-starring Cillian Murphy, is visually stylish but let down by poor storytelling. The Edge of Love (2008) ★★★☆☆ BBC Two, 11.35pm; Wales, 1.05am; not Scot  A fascinating story set during the Second World War about poet Dylan Thomas’s (Matthew Rhys) relationships with two women: his hedonistic Irish wife (Sienna Miller) and his Welsh childhood lover (Keira Knightley). An intense Jules et Jim-esque set-up develops, but the film could do with more about the art and less about the artist’s love life. It’s scripted by Knightley’s mother. Sunday 1 October Bad girl: Jessica Raine stars as military wife Alison Credit: BBC The Last Post BBC One, 9.00pm This intriguing six-part drama, scripted by playwright Peter Moffat, is set against an unusual backdrop – the mid-Sixties conflict that took place in the then British Crown Colony of Aden on the southern Arabian peninsula. Jessica Raine is the star attraction in the bad-girl role of Alison, the drunken, unhappy and unfaithful wife of conscientious but undervalued military policeman Lieutenant Ed Laithwaite (Stephen Campbell Moore).  The atmosphere of unrelenting heat and dust is very well conveyed, as is the day-to-day tedium of life for military wives on a Royal Military Police base and the hierarchies of rank that must be observed. We get the full introduction in this opening episode as newlyweds Captain Joe Martin (Jeremy Neumark Jones) and his wife Honor (Jessie Buckley) arrive on the base as the going-away party for the popular man he’s replacing, Captain Page (Joseph Kennedy), is in full swing. Meanwhile, Laithwaite receives information that an attack on the base by rebel fighters is imminent, but his commanding officer, Major Markham (Ben Miles) refuses to take his warnings seriously. What happens next is not as obvious as you might expect. Gerard O’Donovan Live Formula 1: Malaysia Grand Prix Sky Sports Main Event & Channel 4, 7.35am The 19th Grand Prix in this country will also be its last, as the Malaysian government withdraws funding for the Sepang circuit. Drivers had to endure the challenge of racing in 50-degree heat, with hydration as important as a full tank. Lewis Hamilton will be hoping to increase his lead in the championship with another victory, but a mix of unpredictable weather and a track known for its sharp corners should ensure that this Grand Prix keeps throwing up surprises right until the very end. Live NFL: New Orleans Saints v Miami Dolphins BBC Two, 1.45pm Wembley Stadium is the setting again for the NFL, having hosted Jacksonville Jaguars’ 44-7 demolition of the Baltimore Ravens last weekend. This will be a fourth trip to Wembley for the Dolphins, who appeared in the first International Series game here in 2007 when they lost 13-10 to the New York Giants, while their most recent appearance saw them defeated 27-14 by the New York Jets in 2015. The Saints have less experience of playing at Wembley, but did register a 37-32 win over the then-San Diego Chargers in 2008, in their only previous trip to the UK.  Live Premier League Rugby Union: Wasps v Bath BT Sport 1, 2.15pm The new season has turned sour for both teams, and Wasps are keen to avoid their third successive defeat. If history is an indicator they should have the upper hand, having won their last four matches against Bath – the most recent of which finished 24-3, with two tries from Kurtley Beale helping them on their way. The visitors come into this match on the back of an agonising 33-32 defeat to Newcastle Falcons, who scored twice in the last 15 minutes to come from behind in a nine-try thriller. Cornwall’s Native Poet: Charles Causley BBC Four, 8.00pm This documentary, the first of three films from the BBC’s Contains Strong Language poetry strand, celebrates the life and work of Charles Causley, a Cornish poet so deeply rooted in the county that he only left his home town of Launceston once, for naval service in the Second World War. Escape Channel 4, 8.00pm There are five people stranded in the middle of a desert following a plane crash. They have one chance of survival: creating another vehicle from the plane wreckage. That’s the premise of this new series in which five engineers are challenged to use their ingenuity and skill to escape a tricky situation. Men Who Sleep in Cars BBC Four, 9.00pm Scripted entirely in verse, poet Michael Symmons Roberts’s film is a love song to the city of Manchester. It tells the poignant story of three rough sleepers whose impoverished lives are seen in contrast to the great wealth of the city. With Maxine Peake. Electric Dreams:The Commuter Channel 4, 9.00pm The third story in this enjoyable series based on sci-fi pioneer Philip K Dick’s stories stars Timothy Spall as a railway attendant with a sad home life. But when he meets a mysterious traveller, he is forced to choose between fantasy and reality. Dawn French Live: 30 Million Minutes BBC Two, 10.00pm; NI, 10.55pm; Wales, 10.45pm Recorded last year in London’s West End, this is the actress and comedian’s live solo show, inspired by the tough but entertaining lessons she’s learnt from life.  Child in Mind BBC Four, 10.00pm Simon Armitage has a talent for making powerfully poetic television. Here he mixes documentary footage and verse to give a voice to the dispossessed women in Britain, the mothers of the 3,000 children placed in care every year. GO Boris Johnson: Blond Ambition Channel 4, 10.05pm After a period of calm, the Boris bandwagon is gathering speed once again following the publication of his vision for a post-Brexit Britain in The Telegraph. Here Channel 4’s political editor Gary Gibbon looks back at Johnson’s 14 months as Foreign Secretary, assessing his impact and success on the world stage. GO Happy Feet (2006) ★★★★☆ ITV2, 3.45pm  Australian director George Miller won a Best Animated Feature Oscar for this entertaining believe-in-yourself animation. Mumble, a misfit emperor penguin (baby voice by Elizabeth Daily, adult voice by Elijah Wood) is causing his parents (voiced by Nicole Kidman and Jackman) concern because he can’t sing and is therefore unable to attract a mate. Mumble can tap-dance, though, and therein lies his salvation. A United Kingdom (2016) ★★★★☆   Sky Movies Premiere, 8.00pm  Amma Asante’s film retells a true story that took place simultaneously in the corridors of Westminster and the country now known as Botswana just over half a century ago. It’s about the inter-racial romance between English woman Ruth (Rosamund Pike) and Seretse (David Oyelowo), the future king. It’s stirring stuff and a chapter of history that rewards a close reading. Memphis Belle (1990) ★★★☆☆☆ ITV4, 9.05pm  It’s 1943, and the handsome American crew of Second World War B-17 bomber Memphis Belle, who are stationed in England, are anticipating their final mission – to fly over Nazi-occupied Europe. Full of nostalgia, this loosely based-on-real-events story exudes a romanticised view of heroism, but features an endearing cast, including Billy Zane, Sean Astin,John Lithgow, Eric Stoltz, and Harry Connick Jr. Monday 2 October The curmudgeon returns: Larry David is back after six years Credit: HBO/Skt Curb Your Enthusiasm Sky Atlantic, 10.00pm Cometh the hour, cometh the curmudgeon. It’s been six years since we last saw the irascible Larry David and the rest of his gang of malcontents, and this return is something of a surprise delight given that David had previously claimed to have mined every last possible drop from his alter-ego’s grumpy loathing of modern life.  No previews were available for this opening episode, which is not a surprise seeing as David has always run a tight ship regarding spoilers and HBO went into lockdown after episodes were leaked during the summer. So what can we expect? Bryan Cranston joins the cast as Larry’s new therapist, the wonderful double act of Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen return, and David has promised that we’ll uncover just what happened after Larry left for Paris with perpetual house guest Leon (the scene-stealing J B Smoove). “It’s been a five-year log-jam of indignities and violations of etiquette,” executive producer Jeff Schaffer told Variety and it’s true that Curb’s return seems particularly suited to our current times. “Every day confirms, more and more, he’s right! He’s right about everything,” noted David. One thing is certain: it’ll be fun finding out if that’s true. Sarah Hughes Race and Pace: The West Indians in East Lancashire BBC Four, 7.30pm When West Indian cricketers began to arrive in Lancashire, the Northern county was hit for six. This enlightening documentary, narrated by Death in Paradise’s Don Warrington, tells the story of how initial reticence and racism turned into an unlikely cricketing love affair. Among those recalling their experiences are knights of the cricketing order, Viv Richards and Wes Hall, who also discuss the huge impact West Indian players made on the LCC and the resulting effect it had on both sides of the Atlantic over the past 90 years. Tunes for Tyrants: Music & Power with Suzy Klein BBC Four, 9.00pm Presented by Suzy Klein, this documentary is an exploration of music’s crucial political role in the most turbulent years of the 20th century. It begins with the Radio 3 presenter looking at the years following the Russian Revolution and the First World War when music was seen as a tool to change society. CM Liar ITV, 9.00pm After last week’s revelation, the William brothers’ potboiler continues apace. In the fourth episode, dogged “rape victim” Laura Nielson (Joanne Froggatt) travels to Edinburgh to find out how Andrew Earlham’s (Ioan Gruffudd) wife’s really died. Paddington Station 24/7 Channel 5, 9.00pm Watching this behind-the-scenes look at London’s Paddington Station, you can understand why rail passengers become frustrated by the service. In this episode, the staff have to deal with signal problems during rush hour. Later, a team of engineers race to replace 60 ft of rail hours before the morning rush begins. W1A BBC Two, 10.00pm; not NI John Morton’s parody of life inside Broadcasting House always manages to find big laughs in unusual circumstances. Tonight, the Renewal Team propose to get rid of the BBC Big Swing Band, and marketing guru Siobhan (the excellent Jessica Hynes) decides to make a trailer to launch the YouTube-like BBC ME.  Stacey Dooley Investigates: Mums Selling Their Kids for Sex BBC One, 10.45pm; NI, 11.10pm; Scot, 11.45pm In this disturbing film, previously shown on BBC Three, Dooley is in the Philippines to investigate mothers who sexually exploit their children live on the web. Clive Morgan Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) ★★★☆☆☆ 5STAR, 8.00pm  Back in 1994, Jim Carrey went from near obscurity to starring in three hits in a year. The first was this very funny comedy about a zany pet detective who finds himself out of his depth (the others were The Mask and Dumb & Dumber). Here, he’s hired by Miami’s NFL team to track down their mascot, a bottlenose dolphin named Snowflake, before the Super Bowl. Courteney Cox co-stars as the team’s publicist. Moulin Rouge! (2001) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 8.00pm  Baz Luhrmann’s intoxicating spectacle was the first musical to be nominated for the Best Picture Oscar in 22 years. Set in 1899, Montmartre, it follows a poet (Ewan McGregor) who becomes love-struck with the city’s famous courtesan (Nicole Kidman, who enters the film on a bejazzled swing). The mix of period setting and contemporary pop ensure a vivid assault on the senses. The Specialist (1994) ★★☆☆☆ ITV4, 10.00pm  Sharon Stone slinks around Sylvester Stallone in this celebrity vehicle that garnered a lot of attention, at the time of release, for its sex scene. Stallone plays a former CIA bomb expert hired by Stone to destroy the Mob that killed her family. Supporting actor James Woods remains unscathed in a film full of giant explosions, silly plot twists, and Rod Steiger trying out a Cuban accent (indecipherable and hilarious). Tuesday 3 October Caught in the middle: Suranne Jones and Tom Taylor Credit: BBC Doctor Foster BBC One, 9.00pm Handbrake turns have become the norm in the extraordinary second series of Mike Bartlett’s ripe melodrama, with showdown following showdown, passive aggression increasingly supplanted by straightforward aggression, and twists galore threatening a lurch into the territory of Fatal Attraction, only in reverse. The Fosters are in disarray – Simon (Bertie Carvel) is estranged from his second family and income stream, while Gemma (Suranne Jones) is concerned that her actions have pushed away their son (Tom Taylor, the show’s unsung star). We left Gemma driving at speed towards Simon – what happens next remains under wraps, but suffice to say that the most unexpected twist in tonight’s conclusion is one of tone: from operatic melodrama (albeit sustained by brilliant performances) into sombre contemplation – the fallout after the explosion. Flashbacks illustrate both the affection once at the heart of the family and a failure to meet the needs of its most vulnerable member. The door is left wide open for a third series; it’s been fun, but has strained credibility – it might be wise to emulate the Doctor Foster of the nursery rhyme and never go there again. Gabriel Tate Rodney Carrington: Here Comes the Truth Netflix, from 12.01am Rodney Carrington’s stand-up is an unapologetically crude assault on political correctness (his material ranges from Muslims to his manhood), but, undeniably, he has a big following in the US. This recording from his most recent tour will establish whether this acquired taste is also yours. The Great British Bake Off Channel 4, 8.00pm With the chancers and fudgers departed, Prue Leith and Paul Hollywood have a smorgasbord of class acts from which to choose as Pastry Week dawns: the showstopper sees the bakers attempt a pie with a difference. Reformation: Europe’s Holy War BBC Two, 9.00pm Once inescapable, David Starkey now makes infrequent appearances on TV; which is just as well, given a little of his strident controversialism generally goes a long way. Here, he’s on entertaining form exploring the malign forces unleashed by the Protestant Reformation some 500 years ago – and their modern parallels. Sex, Chips and Poetry: 50 Years of the Mersey Sound BBC Four, 9.00pm In 1967, the same year that The Beatles released Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, fellow Liverpudlians Roger McGough, Brian Patten and Adrian Henri took the spoken-word revolution started by the Beat Poets and transformed it into something uniquely British. This amiable and richly deserved tribute documentary, narrated by Isy Suttie, celebrates the 50th anniversary of their work on The Mersey Sound, one of the best-selling poetry anthologies of all time, which is still a mainstay on school syllabuses. GT Barbie: the Most Famous Doll in the World Channel 4, 9.15pm Mary Portas visits toymaker Mattel, attends conventions and talks to children in a bid to make sense of a doll blamed for entrenching everything from everyday sexism to unrealistic body images. How can an apparently outmoded icon be reinvented for the modern age? The Insider: Reggie Yates in a Refugee Camp BBC One, 10.45pm; NI, 11.10pm; Scot, 11.45pm In this documentary, first shown on BBC Three, Reggie Yates spends a week in Iraq’s largest refugee camp, where he lives alongside 30,000 displaced Syrians facing an uncertain future. GT The Karate Kid (2010) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 6.15pm  To most people’s surprise, this is a more-than-satisfying update on the much-loved original, though also comes across as an extended tourism advert. Jaden Smith (son of Will) plays a 12-year-old who moves from Detroit to Beijing with his mother (Taraji P Henson). There he becomes a punching bag for local bullies, but makes a new friend in a maintenance man and martial arts master Mr Han (Jackie Chan), who teaches him how to fight. Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009) ★★★☆☆ E4, 8.00pm  This is comfortably the best in the Ice Age series and solid children’s entertainment, but you may need to explain that dinosaurs didn’t live in a vast hothouse under the glaciers, and woolly mammoths called Manny probably weren’t on chummy terms with sabre-toothed tigers called Diego. Here, the gang head to a tropical lost world to rescue Sid the Sloth (John Leguizamo). 22 Jump Street (2014) ★★★☆☆ ITV2, 9.00pm  Channing Tatum’s charisma and the best malapropisms ever make this sequel to 21 Jump Street a joy. Instead of infiltrating school to arrest the suppliers of a drug, Jonah Hill’s Schmidt and Tatum’s Jenko infiltrate college to do… exactly the same. The film is directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (The Lego Movie) who are becoming the handiest duo since the Coen brothers. Wednesday 4 October Back in business: Lord Sugar (centre) with Karren Brady and Claude Littner Credit: BBC The Apprentice BBC One, 9.00pm Thirteen series in and we all know by now that The Apprentice is not so much a search for the brightest and best new business entrepreneurs, but an exercise in finding the one polishable, er, apple in a barrelful of “pony and trap” as adept cockney rhymer Lord Sugar puts it. And what fun it still is watching all those overinflated young egos being cut down to size by the process.  This time 18 candidates vie for the prize of £250,000 start-up capital, and just to remind the wannabe tycoons what a great opportunity they’re being given, Lord Sugar marches five previous winners into the boardroom to beguile them with tales of success.  The opening challenge, though, couldn’t be more basic: making burgers and flogging them on the street. Which is not to say there isn’t lots of room for error and unfathomably gross stupidity, too. In fact, you’re pretty much guaranteed to spend most of this show slapping your forehead at the unadulterated ineptitude of some of these self-proclaimed geniuses. In other words, a great start to what looks like being another hilarious series with, as ever, The Apprentice: You’re Fired following, at 10pm on BBC Two. Gerard O’Donovan Who Do You Think You Are? BBC One, 8.00pm Some editions of this latest series have felt less like journeys of discovery and more like genetic quests. Here, comedian Ruby Wax sets out to discover whether her mental health issues might have been evident earlier in her family line. Billion Dollar Deals and How They Changed Your World BBC Two, 8.00pm Yes, it’s a conspiracy. In the second programme of his absorbing series about how the world is ruled not by politicians but by decisions made in corporate boardrooms, Jacques Peretti considers why big business is currently so determined to kill off cash.  The Detectives: Murder on the Streets BBC Two, 9.00pm “It not like the Seventies. It’s not about slapping people. It’s about what you disclose to the person.” The art of tripping suspects up in their own lies inches Manchester police ever closer to solving two brutal killings in this nail-biting real-life crime series. Britain’s Lost Masterpieces BBC Four, 9.00pm Bendor Grosvenor and Emma Dabiri head to the Derby Museum to investigate a painting that suffered an unusually poor early restoration. Could it be a work by the great 18th-century British master, Joseph Wright of Derby, and if so can it be returned to its former glory?  The Great War in Numbers Yesterday, 9.00pm Think of the First World War and it’s the millions of lives lost in the trenches that come to mind. But, as this documentary series reveals, everything about the Great War was on a scale previously unparalleled: machine guns in millions, artillery shells in billions, the mind-boggling logistics of keeping vast numbers of men fed, clothed and fighting fit in the field. Tonight’s first film of six explores how the empires of Germany, France, Russia and Britain were able to pour so much wealth into the industrialisation of warfare. GO Back Channel 4, 10.00pm Fate just seems to get crueller for Stephen (David Mitchell) when Andrew (Robert Webb) manages to increase his share in the pub. But then Alison (Olivia Poulet) uncovers information that could yet force the cuckoo out of the family nest. GO Mercury Rising (1998) ★★★☆☆ Film4, 9.00pm  Bruce Willis is excellent as an undercover FBI agent assigned to protect a nine-year-old autistic boy (Miko Hughes) who is targeted by assassins after cracking a top secret government code in this underrated, if slightly unrealistic, thriller based on the Ryne Douglas Pearson novel Simon Says. The plot moves at breakneck speed yet, ultimately, it’s a touching and heart-warming story. The Football Factory (2004) ★★★☆☆ London Live, 10.00pm  John King’s book The Football Factory is an unnerving and brutal account of hooliganism in the Nineties, centring on a firm of Chelsea boot boys and their clashes with rival “fans”. Nick Love’s film certainly captures the thuggery, with Danny Dyer as Tommy, for whom life is about drink, drugs, sex, thieving and a good ruck – but who begins to question his ways. Made in France (2015) ★★★☆☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 10.00pm  This thriller, about a wave of jihadist attacks on Paris, was pulled from cinemas following its plot’s number of unnerving parallels with recent events in the French capital. In it, an extremist cell plans a series of shootings and bombings across the city “that will shake France” and the world. Director Nicholas Boukhrief said he made the film to counter the “poison” of jihadist propaganda. Thursday 5 October Fire safety: in the wake of the Grenfell Tower disaster Credit: PA The Housing Enforcers BBC One, 8.00pm; BBC Two Wales, 7.00pm “Everyone has a right to a safe place to live, no matter who you are, where you live or how much rent you pay. It’s non-negotiable.” So concludes Matt Allwright at the end of this programme focusing on the importance of fire safety.  The format is straightforward: Allwright travels across the country meeting with housing officers and examining the myriad ways in which fires can destroy lives. What makes this really hit home, however, is the presenter’s quiet fury at the way in which some lives are considered less worthy than others. Inevitably, the shadow of Grenfell Tower hangs heavy over the hour. It’s notable that many of those worst affected are elderly and living alone: the story of fiercely independent Ali who refuses to acknowledge, even to his family, quite how much he is struggling is particularly poignant. Allwright, however, saves his most righteous rage for the landlords squeezing tenants in wherever they can and failing to meet even the minimum health and safety standards. The result is a hard-hitting and often hard-to-watch documentary, which also offers solid advice on how to deal both with fires and bad landlords. Sarah Hughes Live International Football: England v Slovenia ITV, 7.30pm Having drawn 0-0 last October, with Joe Hart forced to make a string of fine saves, England and Slovenia reconvene at Wembley. Victory today for Gareth Southgate’s men will ensure their qualification for next year’s World Cup in Russia. And having beaten second-placed Slovakia 2-1 last month, thanks to a strike from tyro Marcus Rashford, they’ll be confident of doing just that. The Big Family Cooking Showdown BBC Two, 8.00pm Two last families go head to head for a place in the finals. Their £10 challenge is a Friday night takeaway, so naturally curry is on the menu. There’s talk of “fusion” cooking, some mushy spinach and a 34-year-old rolling pin.   Discovering: Laurence Olivier Sky Arts, 8.00pm The spotlight turns on Laurence Olivier, who, in 1937, described cinema as an “anaemic little medium which could not stand great acting”.   Ambulance BBC One, 9.00pm The work of the West Midlands Ambulance Service continues as a specialist trauma team are dispatched to a motorbike accident where a man has suffered a catastrophic chest injury. “I’ve got nothing…” declares the doctor. It’s a stark reminder of the fragility of life and the increasing compassion of the services in times of chaos.    Russia with Simon Reeve BBC Two, 9.00pm Simon Reeve continues his fascinating journey, meeting Tuvan children in Siberia who practice the Mongolian tradition of throat singing.  Educating Greater Manchester Channel 4, 9.00pm Ah, that old chestnut – ignoring school uniform rules. This week, the teachers at Harrop Fold are on the back foot when a message is spread on Snapchat encouraging pupils to come in wearing trainers. Social media also causes friction between Year 11 girls Serena and Lelo when one talks to the other’s boyfriend on FaceTime. Rachel Ward Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez murders Sky Living, 9.00pm This series, similar to The People v OJ Simpson, takes a closer look at the two trials of brothers Lyle and Erik Menendez, who were convicted of murdering their parents in their Beverly Hills home in 1989. It focuses on the attorney (Edie Falco), who was one of their few defenders. Dimension 404 Syfy, 9.00pm Each episode of this new sci-fi anthology features a form of technology gone wrong. But there’s nothing unnerving about it, rather it’s a camp pastiche of The Twilight Zone, complete with Star Wars’ Mark Hamill providing the voice-over. Glee’s Lea Michele stars in the first episode about online dating. It’s weird, but it doesn’t overplay it. RW Robin and Marian (1976) ★★★★☆ Film4, 1.10pm  Sean Connery gives one of his best performances as a middle-aged Robin Hood, who heads home to Sherwood Forest after the death of Richard I. He finds that scaling a castle wall isn’t as easy as it used to be, Maid Marian (Audrey Hepburn) is still miffed at being left in the lurch, and the Sheriff (Robert Shaw) is up to his old tricks in Richard Lester’s good-natured romance. Look out for Ronnie Barker as Friar Tuck. Jerry Maguire (1996) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Greats, 5.40pm  In Cameron Crowe’s macho romcom, Tom Cruise plays a sports agent who has an attack of conscience and urges his colleagues to think about the welfare of their clients. He’s duly fired but announces that he’ll start his own agency. A washed-up footballer (Cuba Gooding Jr) and a single mother (Renée Zellweger) are the only ones who agree to go with him. Here, the classic quote, “You had me at ‘hello’” was born. The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976) ★★★★☆ ITV4, 10.10pm Clint Eastwood directs and stars in this marvellous warm-hearted western adapted from Forrest Carter’s novel and set during the American Civil War. Eastwood plays the eponymous Missouri farmer who, driven by memories of his family’s slaughter, becomes an outlaw when he refuses to join his Confederate comrades in surrender, in favour of seeking revenge on the men who murdered his kin. Friday 6 October Penal colony: Harry Peacock, Kevin Bishop and Ricky Grover Credit: BBC Porridge BBC One, 9.30pm The most successful of the BBC’s classic sitcom revivals from last year, Porridge returns for a full series with the series’ creators Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais once again on board. It finds Nigel Norman Fletcher (Kevin Bishop as the grandson of Ronnie Barker’s character, Norman Stanley) locking horns with officer Meekie (Mark Bonnar) while aiding or outsmarting the prison’s ne’er-do-wells. In a canny twist, it is Fletch who is now the relative ingénue in his cell, seeking counsel from veteran lag Joe Lotterby (Dave Hill). We find Fletch as the prison’s resident Cyrano de Bergerac, writing letters to keep the flame of romance alive between assorted inmates and their partners on the outside. All goes well until Fletch suffers a crisis of conscience that threatens the whole operation. Some of the gags are groanworthy, but Clement and La Frenais’s mastery of sitcom mechanics remains complete; their presence keeps the spirit of the original intact, while the update means that no one is attempting to emulate the cast of the Seventies series. Fletch has a five-year sentence to serve; unlikely as it might seem, a similar term for Porridge might not be unwelcome. Gabriel Tate Suburra: the Series Netflix, from 12.01am Like Romanzo Criminale and Gomorrah before it, Suburra began life as a book before becoming a gripping, multifaceted Italian-language political thriller. This 10-part series, set in the dying days of Berlusconi’s regime, explores the themes of politics, the Church and corruption during 20 tumultuous days in Rome. Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm Ireland faces a pivotal referendum on the decriminalisation of abortion in certain circumstances; Kate Hardie-Buckley meets those on both sides of the debate in a deeply affecting edition of the current-affairs series. Modern Family Sky1, 8.30pm It may have tailed off since its peak, but Modern Family is still good for a few laughs. The ninth series begins with Jay (Ty Burrell) taking the family on a houseboat holiday, and Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) encountering an old flame. Gardeners’ World BBC Two, 9.00pm; not N Ireland or Wales Monty Don begins preparations for 2018 by advising others on how to use leaf mould as a mulch. Elsewhere, Adam Frost visits a community allotment in Manchester, and Nick Bailey learns from a zoologist about the life teeming in the soil. Nile Rodgers: How to Make It in the Music Business BBC Four, 9.00pm Guitar genius and pop producer Nile Rodgers shares the wisdom he’s acquired over decades in the music business. In the first episode, he discusses the founding of Chic and his influence on today’s hitmakers. GT Cold Feet ITV, 9.00pm Karen (Hermione Norris) is on the brink of financial disaster in spite of David’s (Robert Bathurst) assistance, while Adam (James Nesbitt) gets out of his depth on a night out in Mike Bullen’s assured comedy-drama revival. The Graham Norton Show BBC One, 10.35pm Another line-up of heavy-hitters assembles on the red sofa tonight: comedian Chris Rock plugs his first UK stand-up tour in a decade, actors Idris Elba and Kate Winslet discuss their niche genre movie, “disaster-romance” The Mountain Between Us (about a surgeon and a journalist who survive a plane crash), and Liam Gallagher performs songs from his debut album, As You Were. GT The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010) ★★★☆☆ E4, 8.00pm  The third instalment of the teenage vampire franchise is better than the second and will please its fan base, though Melissa Rosenberg’s script is full of clichés and relies on a shirtless Taylor Lautner for distraction. Girl-next-door Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) must choose between 100-year-old vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and hunky werewolf Jacob Black (Lautner). T2: Trainspotting (2017) ★★★★☆ Sky Cinema Premiere, 10.00pm  Danny Boyle’s sequel is more than just a trip down memory lane. Back in 1996, Trainspotting’s gallery of junkies and rogues (Ewan McGregor, Jonny Lee Miller) proudly and raucously chose not to choose life. But now, all have come to terms with the gnawing possibility that life may have in fact not chosen them. There’s no chance of it matching the legacy of the first film, but it doesn’t tarnish it either. American Hustle (2013) ★★★★☆ Channel 4, 12.10am  David O Russell’s caper feels like the film he has spent his career warming up for and is a serious piece of film-making that delights in its own silliness. Irving (Christian Bale) and his partner Sydney (Amy Adams) are con artists blackmailed by FBI agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper) into aiding his investigation. “Some of this actually happened,” reads a title card, and to be more specific would spoil the fun. Television previewers Catherine Gee, Sarah Hughes, Clive Morgan, Gerard O'Donovan, Patrick Smith, Gabriel Tate and Rachel Ward

England's Ben Youngs in action

FILE PHOTO: Britain Rugby Union - England v Italy - Six Nations Championship - Twickenham Stadium, London - 26/2/17 England's Ben Youngs in action Reuters / Toby Melville

New Zealand's Damian McKenzie in action with Italy's Simone Favaro

Britain Rugby Union - Italy vs New Zealand - Stadio Olimpico, Rome, Italy - 12/11/16 New Zealand's Damian McKenzie in action with Italy's Simone Favaro Reuters / Tony Gentile Livepic

Rugby union - Injured Wallaby Haylett-Petty out for season

Dane Haylett-Petty of Australia gets a pass away as he is tackled by Pietro Ceccarelli (R) of Italy during the international rugby match between Australia and Italy at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane on June 24, 2017. (AFP Photo/Patrick HAMILTON)

Australia Italy Rugby Union

Wallabies and Force star Dane Haylett-Petty says he is in no rush to make a decision on his future

Rugby Union - Foley, Genia to help Hooper as All Blacks loom

Bernard Foley (L) of Australia is tackled by Andries Van Schalkwyk (R) of Italy during the international rugby match between Australia and Italy at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane on June 24, 2017. (AFP Photo/Patrick HAMILTON)

Karmichael Hunt of Australia passes the ball during a rugby union Test match against Italy, in Brisbane, on June 24, 2017

Karmichael Hunt of Australia passes the ball during a rugby union Test match against Italy, in Brisbane, on June 24, 2017

New Zealand's Malakai Fekitoa scores a try

Britain Rugby Union - Italy vs New Zealand - Stadio Olimpico, Rome, Italy - 12/11/16 New Zealand's Malakai Fekitoa scores a try Reuters / Tony Gentile Livepic

Israel Folau (C) of Australia is tackled by Italy's Maxime Mbandao (L) and Marco Fuser during their rugby union Test match at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane on June 24, 2017

Israel Folau (C) of Australia is tackled by Italy's Maxime Mbandao (L) and Marco Fuser during their rugby union Test match at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane on June 24, 2017 (AFP Photo/Patrick HAMILTON)

Bernard Foley of Australia is tackled by Andries Van Schalkwyk of Italy during their rugby union Test match, at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane, on June 24, 2017

Israel Folau (C) of Australia is tackled by Italy's Maxime Mbandao (L) and Marco Fuser during their rugby union Test match at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane on June 24, 2017

Israel Folau (C) of Australia is tackled by Italy's Maxime Mbandao (L) and Marco Fuser during their rugby union Test match at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane on June 24, 2017

Bernard Foley of Australia is tackled by Andries Van Schalkwyk of Italy during their rugby union Test match, at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane, on June 24, 2017

Rugby Union - Australia v Italy

Rugby Union - Australia v Italy - Rugby International - Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane, Australia - 24 June 2017 - Tito Tebaldi of Italy kicks. AAP/Dan Peled via REUTERS

Rugby Union - Australia v Italy

Rugby Union - Australia v Italy - Rugby International - Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane, Australia - 24 June 2017 - Australia's Israel Folau runs with the ball. AAP/Dave Hunt via REUTERS ATTENTION EDITORS - THIS PICTURE WAS PROVIDED BY A THIRD PARTY. NO RESALES. NO ARCHIVES. AUSTRALIA OUT. NEW ZEALAND OUT.

Rugby Union - Australia v Italy

Rugby Union - Australia v Italy - Rugby International - Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane, Australia - 24 June 2017 - Australia's Sefa Naivalu reacts after scoring a try. AAP/Dave Hunt via REUTERS. ATTENTION EDITORS - THIS PICTURE WAS PROVIDED BY A THIRD PARTY. NO RESALES. NO ARCHIVES. AUSTRALIA OUT. NEW ZEALAND OUT.

Rugby Union - Australia v Italy

Rugby Union - Australia v Italy - Rugby International - Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane, Australia - 24 June 2017 - Tito Tebaldi of Italy kicks. AAP/Dan Peled via REUTERS ATTENTION EDITORS - THIS PICTURE WAS PROVIDED BY A THIRD PARTY. NO RESALES. NO ARCHIVES. AUSTRALIA OUT. NEW ZEALAND OUT.

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