'The Walking Dead' apocalypse quips: Negan's funniest lines

Kimberly Potts
Writer, Yahoo Entertainment

To celebrate the Oct. 22 Season 8 premiere of  The Walking Dead — the series’ 100th episode — Yahoo TV will be posting a new TWD-related story every day through the season opener.

You do want to hate him, you don’t want to laugh at him, but it’s hard not to find some dark humor in Negan’s salty, frequently clever comments and one-liners. Even during that long preamble to Glenn and Abraham’s deaths, the leader of the Saviors was peppering his language with some memorable observations and catchphrases; Pee Pee Pants City was meant to be a T-shirt from the start. Here’s our collection of the funniest things Negan’s said so far on The Walking Dead, with full anticipation that we’ll need to update the list after his adventures in Season 8’s war with Rick and his new allies.

The Walking Dead Season 8 premieres Oct. 22 at 9 p.m. on AMC.

Destination: Pee Pee Pants City

Season 6, “Last Day on Earth”

Yes, it was the most tense, unfunny of situations, with Rick’s group on their knees in the semicircle of death. But we’ve all been forced to admit that, even at his most sadistic, Negan can sling a one-liner like nobody’s business. “Pissing our pants yet?” he asked the trembling Alexandrians, as he paced in front of them with Lucille in his hands. “Boy, do I have a feeling we’re getting close. Yep, it’s gonna be Pee Pee Pants City here real soon.”

(Credit: AMC)

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

Season 6, “Last Day on Earth”

It was the vicious circle of killing that sparked this gem from Negan, who, of course, was going to continue to widen that circle after he was done verbally chastising Rick and company. “When I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people, you killed more of my people,” he told the group. “Not cool. Not cool.”

(Credit: AMC)

The Importance of Minions

Season 7, “The Day Will Come When You Won’t Be”

We love Simon because he’s weird and funny and, in his own very specific way, charming. Negan loves him for a much more practical reason, as he revealed in the lengthy buildup to his Season 7 premiere murder spree: “Simon’s my right-hand man. Having one of those is important,” he said. “I mean, what do you have left without them? A whole lot of work.”

(Credit: AMC)

A Thirsty Daryl

Season 7, “The Cell”

Negan was convinced he could break Daryl and lure him into joining the Saviors. But neither the torture of dog food sandwiches and horrific Polaroids of his dead friend nor the promise of perks and a leadership position within the Sanctuary could sway Daryl. Negan did acknowledge that all those salty — we guess — sammies had left Daryl parched, though. “Your mouth is all puffed up like a baboon’s a**,” he said, and ordered Dwight to get Daryl a straw for his glass of water.

(Credit: AMC)

No Sex, But Lies and Videotape

Season 7, “Service”

When one of his Saviors minions found a videotape of Rick during a search of Alexandria, Negan jumped to conclusions about what he might find on the film. “Well, well, well… what do we have here? I’ve got my fingers crossed for a little freaky deaky,” he very excitedly told a very unamused Rick.

(Credit: AMC)

Beware of the Bewhiskered

Season 7, “Service”

What was on the tape, of course, was Rick’s interview with Deanna, the one she’d asked him to do when he and the rest of his group first arrived in Alexandria, i.e. when Rick had gone unshaven for quite a long time. “Jee-ee-sus! Is that you, Rick? Underneath all that man bush? Shee-ut! I would not have messed with that guy,” Negan said, in what was both a funny Neganism and a reminder to Rick that his current mental and emotional state was not that of the leader figure his people had come to rely on.

(Credit: AMC)

Father Creepy Freaky

Season 7, “Service”

He had plenty of moments of pure weasel-ry, but we had to give it up for Father Gabriel when his quick-thinking took Negan off the hunt for Maggie. While Negan shared with Rick his plans to get to know widow Maggie better, Gabriel sidled up on Negan to make him think Maggie had died after Negan killed Glenn and Abraham. “Holy crap, you are creepy as sh*t sneaking up on me wearing that collar with that freaky a** smile!” Negan said to Gabriel, who remained cool and calm as he asked Negan if he’d like to pay his respects to Maggie at a grave Gabriel had mocked up to look like Maggie’s final resting place.

(Credit: AMC)

Slap for a Rude Chap

Season 7, “Sing Me a Song”

The man has multiple wives, so it’s not like there was any mistaking him for a champion of women’s feelings. But even Olivia seemed a bit surprised when, after Negan made a crude sexual proposition to her and she responded with a slap across his face, he responded to her response thusly: “I am about 50 percent more into you now!”

(Credit: AMC)

Vacay in the Apocalypse

Season 7, “Hearts Still Beating”

While enjoying some hooch he’d been gifted by the sneaky Spencer on Rick’s front porch, Negan let it be known how much he was enjoying life in the apocalyptic suburbs. “Running water, air conditioning, a housewarming gift … That settles it. I am getting myself a vacation home here,” he told Spencer.

(Credit: AMC)

I’ve Got My Side-Eye on You

Season 7, “Hearts Still Beating”

As Spencer continued to try to worm his way into a side deal with Negan during a game of pool, Negan allowed him to think they were bonding. “I could never do this with Rick,” he told Spencer. “He would just be standing there, scowling, giving me that annoying side-eye he gives me.”

(Credit: AMC)

You Will Say Hello!

Season 7, “Hostiles and Calamities”

Eugene was trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he’d been brought to the Sanctuary and was set up in a room stocked with food, books, and the sweet sounds of “Easy Street” when he came face-to-face with Negan. With Lucille in his hand and surrounded by a group of menacing Saviors, Negan sought to find out just how smart and resourceful Eugene was, but a terrified Mr. Porter couldn’t even bring himself to respond to Negan’s greeting. Negan was having none of that. “Don’t be rude, a**hole,” he told Eugene. “Say ‘Hello.’”

(Credit: AMC)

Aw, (Lady) Nuts

Season 7, “Something They Need”

Sasha had, as Negan pointed out, created quite a fracas when she infiltrated the Sanctuary all on her own, but he also admitted to her that he was pretty impressed by her skills and her boldness, especially after he realized she’d been one of Rick’s group, one who had witnessed Abe and Glenn’s deaths. “I gotta hand it to you,” he told her. “You’ve got some beach ball-sized lady nuts on you, coming in all kamikaze like that.”

(Credit: AMC)

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