DID you hear about when the lads mother took him to the doctor?
The doctor said "What you feeding him?" His mother said" "Well when e gets up he eats the left-overs from me carry out from the night before - then he goes to the shops and when he gets back aah give im a loaf o bread and 2 tins of beans and the mars bars ees swiped from the newsagents
" at 10 o clock me friend comes back from shoplifting at Netto on Shields Road and gives him a couple of pies nad some sweets and crisps and a couple of bottles of Red Bull'
"at 12 oclock aah get im some gravy and chips and and 2 cans Coke (Diet Coke because the real stuff is fattening)
"2 O clock aah tek im past Greggs and we scounge a couple of Stottie cakes"
" at 4 clock aah give him a snack what me sister givs iz from leftovers of er dinner"
"Half past 5 he has 2 bottle o Sprite. double cheesburgers and half a pound of icecream"'
"At 6 ocl....""
THE DOCTOR SAID" Hang on a minute! - take he trousers and underpants down" His mother done it -
THE DOCTOR turned the kid around and pointed at his bum and said "There's his trouble! He only got 1 F*******g Arse!"