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Merciless Chelsea put eight past Noah to hammer home gulf in class
Chelsea 8 Noah 0
It should not be too long before Chelsea fans are singing “we’ve won it all” again the way their Europa Conference League campaign is going and the goals came two-by-two-by-two-by-two against FC Noah.
Europe’s third-tier competition is the only title missing from Chelsea’s trophy list and it already seems a matter of time before they put that right.
Chelsea supporters may as well book their flights and hotels in the Polish city of Wroclaw for next May because it seems inconceivable that Enzo Maresca’s B team will not make it to the final.
But while one season in this competition might be quite good fun for Chelsea fans, it must be the last time in the near future the club finishes low enough down the Premier League table to end up in it.
The novelty of thrashing teams like Noah and mockingly singing ‘we want 10’ at their fans will soon wear off for supporters, who will expect Chelsea to be back in the big time next season.
Chelsea’s win on Thursday night was the biggest in the history of the Conference League, surpassing Nordsjaelland’s 7-1 evisceration of Ludogorets last season.
When Chelsea won the Club World Cup in 2022, fans could sing “we’ve won it all” before Roma lifted the first-ever Conference League trophy a few months later. Back then, even the most pessimistic Blues fans would not have expected their club to be hosting the likes of Noah a couple of years later.
Cole Palmer should be spending European nights in the Champions League, not popping into the press room for some pre-match chicken because he is deemed too good to be in Chelsea’s Conference League squad for the league phase.
Chelsea’s star player actually made two visits to the buffet, once for the main course and bringing Levi Colwill, also not in Thursday night’s squad, back with him for the lemon sponge dessert.
Palmer not limping
There was no sign of a limp as Palmer made his dinner trips, which may suggest he will be fit to face Arsenal on Sunday after receiving a painful blow to the knee against Manchester United that required a scan.
While this may have been a no-contest on an epic level, there was some value to it for Chelsea other than offering reporters such as this one the opportunity to make awful Noah jokes thanks to the Armenian club being named after the biblical tale.
Teenage striker Marc Guiu was obviously delighted to break his duck for the club, having missed a couple of sitters in previous Conference League appearances.
Guiu’s first-half goal was a gift, not the only present Chelsea were handed by the visitors. The 18-year-old also had a hand in one of Joao Felix’s goals with a good tackle that earned the home side possession high up the pitch.
Another player who got a much-needed shot of confidence was Mykhailo Mudryk, who stood and nodded in approval in celebration of his curling shot from the edge of the penalty area that found the corner of the net.
What a finish from Mykhailo Mudryk to make it 5-0 to Chelsea 💫
📺 @tntsports & @discoveryplusUK pic.twitter.com/f80VsSai7R— Football on TNT Sports (@footballontnt) November 7, 2024
Tyrique George, an 18-year-old winger, will not forget Thursday night in a hurry after being handed his first-ever start. He should have ended the game with an assist, but Felix somehow missed an open goal from one of the youngster’s crosses.
Such was the ease of the game for Chelsea that head coach Enzo Maresca barely celebrated his team’s goals and was able to take Enzo Fernandez, who registered a first-half hat-trick of assists for Tosin Adarabioyo, Axel Disasi and Felix, off at half-time.
Christopher Nkunku got on the score sheet twice in the second half – once from the penalty spot – as Noah’s leaky defence suffered a miserable night and the visitors sank without a trace. Get it?
10:30 PM GMT
Enzo Maresca talks to TNT Sports
Everyone said it would be an easy game but you still have to play it. The players showed how serious and how professional they are.
We have so many good players who deserve to get minutes. In the future everyone will play in the Premier League and everyone will play in the Conference League.
Before the game I said to the players that football is full of games where the favourite is not ready mentally [and they suffer a shock].
We are going in the right direction and the most important thing is to continue. We have one more game before the international break and then we can recover energy.
10:04 PM GMT
Tosin Adarabioyo’s reaction
It was an amazing game for the boys and we topped it off with a clean sheet and a goal for myself. I’ve been thinking that I need a goal soon so I’m very happy to get one today.
[What’s it like when the goals keep flying in?] For the defenders it’s just about concentration and keeping a clean sheet, and we managed to do so. It’s been a while since we got a clean sheet so we needed that today.
"We didn't manage to get 10 today, but it was a very good result!"
Tosin Adarabioyo reacts to finding out what the Chelsea supporters were chanting at Stamford Bridge 😅
📺 @tntsports & @discoveryplusUK | 🎙 @RachStringer pic.twitter.com/rHsCn0gL9q— Football on TNT Sports (@footballontnt) November 7, 2024
09:59 PM GMT
A Conference League record
Chelsea have broken the record for the biggest win in the Conference League, which was Nordsjaelland’s 7-1 evisceration of Ludogorets last season.
09:57 PM GMT
FT: Chelsea 8 Noah 0
The final whistle ends Chelsea’s night at the all-you-can-score buffet. They scored eight, including six in the first half, and would have hit double figures but for the admirable defiance of the Noah goalkeeper Ognjen Chanchrevich.
Joao Felix and Christopher Nkunku scored two apiece. The others came from Tosin Adarabioyo (his first for the club), Marc Guiu (also his first for Chelsea), Axel Disasi and Mykhailo Mudruk, whose flashing curler was the goal of the night.
09:56 PM GMT
90+4 min: Chelsea 8 Noah 0
Jorgensen gets to a loose ball a split second before Cinari and takes a boot on the side of the head as a result. Cinari is booked.
It’s natural to worry when a Chelsea keeper is kicked in the head after what happened to Petr Cech, but Jorgensen seems fine.
09:54 PM GMT
90+1 min: Chelsea 8 Noah 0
Chancharevich makes yet another save after Chukwuemeka steals the ball from Silva and runs through on goal. It rebounds to Rak-Sakyi, who takes the shot first time and pings it over the bar from 20 yards. He could have had a touch.
09:52 PM GMT
90 min: Chelsea 8 Noah 0
This result puts Chelsea back on top of the Conference League table: three games, three wins, 16 goals scored.
They’re almost odds-on favourite to win the competition, which is extremely unusual at this stage of the season. The main competition is Fiorentina and Real Betis but, well, you’d fancy Chelsea’s chances.
09:52 PM GMT
90 min: Chelsea 8 Noah 0
This result puts Chelsea back on top of the Conference League table: three games, three wins, 16 goals scored.
They’re almost odds-on favourite to win the competition, which is extremely unusual at this stage of the season. The main competition is Fiorentina and Real Betis but, well, you’d fancy Chelsea’s chances.
09:50 PM GMT
88 min: Chelsea 8 Noah 0
Now Oulad Omar has a shot saved by Jorgensen, a more comfortable stop from a tightish angle.
09:47 PM GMT
84 min: Chelsea 8 Noah 0
Jorgensen denies Noah a consolation goal - and it would be that, even at 8-0 - with a smart save to his left to keep out a fierce strike from Aias.
09:44 PM GMT
83 min: Chelsea 8 Noah 0
A lovely hit from Casadei, 25 yards out, forces an excellent leaping save from Chanchrevich. He’s conceded eight yet played pretty well.
09:44 PM GMT
82 min: Chelsea 8 Noah 0
Imagine what Chelsea’s first XI would have done.
09:41 PM GMT
79 min: Chelsea 8 Noah 0
Chelsea substitution A debut for 19-year-old Samuel Rak-Sakyi, who replaces Christopher Nkunku.
09:37 PM GMT
Goal!
75 min: Chelsea 8 Noah 0 (Nkunku 75 pen) Joao Felix is on a hat-trick but it’s Nkunku who takes the penalty. And now he’s on a hat-trick after smashing the penalty down the middle.
09:36 PM GMT
Penalty to Chelsea
75 min The ball ran loose after Mudryk’s shot was saved, then Dewsbury-Hall and Eteki challenged each other and fell over. I thought it was a foul by Dewsbury-Hall, not the other way round. Either way it’s not a clear and obvious error, not in a million replays, so that’s a really poor decision.
09:35 PM GMT
73 min: Chelsea 7 Noah 0
It’s all happening. Mudryk’s shot is saved, Dewsbury-Hall has a penalty appeal turned down and play continues until Chukwuemeka slashes comically wide from six yards.
There’s a VAR check on that penalty appeal and now the referee has gone to the screen.
09:32 PM GMT
Goal!
69 min: Chelsea 7 Noah 0 (Nkunku) Christopher Nkunku finally gets his goal. He was sent clear by Felix, who nutmegged a Noah defender and played a simple through pass. Chancharevich blocked Nkunku’s first attempt but he reacted quickly to cushion a volley past the defender on the line.
09:30 PM GMT
67 min: Chelsea 6 Noah 0
Chelsea substitution Tyrique George, whose full debut is hard to assess because the game has been so one-sided, is replaced by Carney Chukwuemeka. His best moment was at 0-0 when he set up a great chance that was spurned by Joao Felix.
09:29 PM GMT
67 min: Chelsea 6 Noah 0
The lively substitute Pinson wins a corner for Noah. Even in such a heavy defeat it’d mean the world to their travelling fans if they score a goal.
The corner is taken short and worked infield to Cinari. His deflected long-range shot almost falls kindly for Silva in the area but eventually runs through to Jorgensen.
09:26 PM GMT
64 min: Chelsea 6 Noah 0
Pinson gets involved straight away with a stinging shot that is blocked.
09:24 PM GMT
62 min: Chelsea 6 Noah 0
Triple substitution for Noah Virgile Pinson, Matheus Aias and Artem Avanesian replace Gustavo Sangare, Hovhannes Hambartsumyan and Goncalo Gregario, whose early chance seems a lifetime ago.
09:21 PM GMT
60 min: Chelsea 6 Noah 0
Sangare is booked for a hand-off to the face of Joao Felix. He’s a bit unfortunate there.
09:20 PM GMT
58 min: Chelsea 6 Noah 0
Nkunku hits the bar! He made a smart run down the inside-left channel to receive Veiga’s lovely through pass, took a touch and then larruped the ball off the top of the bar from a tight angle. He probably should have scored, and it’ll haunt him forever if Noah win 7-6.
09:16 PM GMT
54 min: Chelsea 6 Noah 0
Joao Felix plays a neat little pass into Nkunku, who rolls his man near the penalty spot and reverses a shot that is well saved by Chancharevich. The rebound almost falls for Felix but the keeper pounces on the ball.
09:15 PM GMT
53 min: Chelsea 6 Noah 0
Chance for Chelsea Chancharevich kicks the ball straight to Joao Felix, 12 yards out, but makes up for his error with a good scrambling save to his left.
Felix, lest ye forget, is on a hat-trick.
09:11 PM GMT
49 min: Chelsea 6 Noah 0
Badiashile, up for a corner, volleys Dewsbury-Hall’s cross high over the bar. Chelsea look hungry for a few more goals. That 13-0 win in 1971 is the only time in the club’s history that they have reached double figures.
09:07 PM GMT
46 min: Chelsea 6 Noah 0
The second half is under way. Chelsea have made a double substitution: Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall and Cesare Casadei for Enzo Fernandez and Marc Guiu.
Noah have brought on Imrane Oulad Omar for Gor Manvelyan.
09:05 PM GMT
It’s raining goals
6 - Chelsea's 6-0 half-time lead over Noah is the biggest by an English side at the break of a major European game since Derby County were winning 9-0 against Finn Harps in the 1976-77 UEFA Cup. Raining. pic.twitter.com/H2uRxSRyUv
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) November 7, 2024
08:53 PM GMT
All a bit ridiculous
Six goals and five different goalscorers for Chelsea at half-time already. With the game very much a no-contest, Chelsea fans are having to amuse themselves by shouting ‘who are you’ at the opposition. It all feels a bit ridiculous.
08:51 PM GMT
HT: Chelsea 6 Noah 0
We’re watching the mother, father and extended family of mismatches at Stamford Bridge. Chelsea have scored goals almost at will, including four in a ten-minute period.
Joao Felix got two, Mykhailo Mudryk curled a beauty, Marc Guiu and Tosin Adarabioyo scored their first goals the club and Axel Disasi was the other scorer.
Chelsea’s record victory is 13-0. It’s on!
08:48 PM GMT
45 min: Chelsea 6 Noah 0
Badiashile blocks Gregorio’s shot and Chelsea break. Seconds later Nkunku is in, on the right side of the area, and Chancharevich charges from his line to make a good save.
08:47 PM GMT
Watch: Mudryk makes it 5-0
What a finish from Mykhailo Mudryk to make it 5-0 to Chelsea 💫
📺 @tntsports & @discoveryplusUK pic.twitter.com/f80VsSai7R— Football on TNT Sports (@footballontnt) November 7, 2024
08:46 PM GMT
43 min: Chelsea 6 Noah 0
Jorgensen makes a fine save from Gregorio, though it turns out he was offside.
08:46 PM GMT
Goal!
42 min: Chelsea 6 Noah 0 (Joao Felix) Is this sport? Chelsea are certainly having fun. Disasi wins the ball on the edge of his own area, runs 70 yards and finds Felix to his left. He cuts inside Silva and whips the ball past Chancharevich. Hambartsumyan tried to stop it on the line but could only help it into the net.
08:43 PM GMT
Goal!
39 min: Chelsea 5 Noah 0 (Mudryk) That’s woken the crowd up. Mykhailo Mudryk receives a pass from Nkunku 25 yards from goal, cuts across Sangare and curls a belter into the top corner with his right foot.
08:41 PM GMT
38 min: Chelsea 4 Noah 0
Manvelyan yells with frustration after blasting a long-range shot miles off target. Some of Noah’s link play has been good. Their finishing and defending, not so much.
08:40 PM GMT
36 min: Chelsea 4 Noah 0
Chelsea’s intensity has inevitably dropped since that burst of four goals in ten minutes. They don’t need to conserve energy, as none of them will be starting on Sunday, but it’s human nature to take it a bit easier when you know the game is over.
08:37 PM GMT
33 min: Chelsea 4 Noah 0
Disasi’s low cross from the right is met by Guiu, who tries a fancy flick behind his front leg. It runs off the target, beyond the far post, where Mudryk arrives and launches the ball back out to the right wing.
The angle was very tight, almost impossible, and he was trying to break the net.
08:33 PM GMT
30 min: Chelsea 4 Noah 0
That Joao Felix goal gave Enzo Fernandez a hat-trick of assists inside the first quarter of the game, which can’t have happened too many times in Chelsea’s history. There are more assists out there for him.
Chelsea are running riot! 💥
It's raining goals at Stamford Bridge as the home side lead 4-0 after just 21 minutes 🤯
📺 @tntsports & @discoveryplusUK pic.twitter.com/Mt9AEkUIl1— Football on TNT Sports (@footballontnt) November 7, 2024
08:31 PM GMT
28 min: Chelsea 4 Noah 0
Guiu almost makes it 5-0. He met Mudryk’s deep cross with a downward header that was half blocked on the line by a defender and grabbed desperately by Chancharevich. This is becoming excruciating to watch.
08:30 PM GMT
27 min: Chelsea 4 Noah 0
Manvelyan’s long-range shot dribbles apologetically through to Jorgensen.
08:28 PM GMT
Chelsea’s record win in danger of being beaten
Chelsea’s biggest-ever European win is 13-0 against Jeunesse Hautcharage from Luxembourg in the Cup Winners’ Cup in 1971. With Maresca’s team already 4-0 up, that record is currently in danger of being beaten tonight.
08:26 PM GMT
23 min: Chelsea 4 Noah 0
Tyrique George shoots miles wide from the edge of the area after a nice run infield. Since you asked, Chelsea’s record victory is 13-0 against Jeunesse Hautcharage in the 1971-72 Cup Winners’ Cup.
08:25 PM GMT
Goal!
21 min: Chelsea 4 Noah 0 Chelsea’s second string are running riot. Poor Goncalo Silva, at fault for the second goal, was cuplable again. He dithered on the ball and was challenged well by Guiu. The ball ran loose to Fernandez, who slipped a classy first-time pass through to Joao Felix. He finished the job with a nonchalant sand wedge over Chancharevich.
08:23 PM GMT
Watch: Tosin heads Chelsea in front
A debut Chelsea goal for Tosin 🤩
Tosin Adarabioyo heads the home side into an early lead against Noah 🔵
📺 @tntsports & @discoveryplusUK pic.twitter.com/fwM50UDUdy— Football on TNT Sports (@footballontnt) November 7, 2024
08:21 PM GMT
Goal!
18 min: Chelsea 3 Noah 0 (Disasi) Far too easy for Chelsea. Another Fernandez corner, another unchallenged header for a defender. This time it’s Axel Disasi, who stoops to head past Chancharevich.
Hang on, this may be disallowed for offside against Renato Veiga. Nope, the goal stands!
08:17 PM GMT
14 min: Chelsea 2 Noah 0
Ferreira, who looks a decent player, curls a cracking effort from 25 yards that just goes over the bar.
08:17 PM GMT
Goal!
13 min: Chelsea 2 Noah 0 (Guiu) And now Marc Guiu gets his first goal for Chelsea! It came straight from Noah’s kick-off. They played the ball back, then Silva tried an ill-advised pass across the face of his own area. Guiu nipped in and slid the ball confidently past the keeper.
It's another debut Chelsea goal... this time for Marc Guiu! 🔵
Noah defender Goncalo Silva won't want to watch that back 😳
📺 @tntsports & @discoveryplusUK pic.twitter.com/rx1O7foGsk— Football on TNT Sports (@footballontnt) November 7, 2024
08:15 PM GMT
Goal!
12 min: Chelsea 1 Noah 0 (Tosin) Chelsea take the lead through Tosin Adarabioyo’s first goal for the club. He lost his marker Sangare, met Fernandez’s outswinging corner from the right and and flicked an accomplished header across the keeper. There was a VAR check for a possible foul on Sangare but the goal stands.
08:12 PM GMT
8 min: Chelsea 0 Noah 0
Noah haven’t just come to defend. Ferreira gets to the byline on the right and clips a dangerous cutback that is eventually cleared. At the other end, Nkunku’s rasper from 20 yards is well blocked by Muradian.
08:10 PM GMT
6 min: Chelsea 0 Noah 0
Great chance for Joao Felix! Nice play from the teenager George, who cuts inside from the right and plays a quick give-and-go with Nkunku on the edge of the area. Then he hammers a cross that beats the diving keeper and reaches Felix, four yards out in front of an open goal. The ball is on Felix so quickly that he can’t adjust hist feet and ends up sidefotting a left-foot volley whence it came. It looked a terrible miss but he was probably beaten for pace.
08:07 PM GMT
4 min: Chelsea 0 Noah 0
Gregorio falls over in the area after a challenge from Badiashile. No penalty. I think Badiashile accidentally caught him as they criss-crossed, but the contact looked outside the area and Gregorio took at least two more strides before falling over.
08:05 PM GMT
2 min: Chelsea 0 Noah 0
Noah almost take a shock lead! Manvelyan’s pass from the right is missed by Tosin and reaches Gregorio on the edge of the area. He batters a shot that is a bit too straight and beaten away by Jorgensen. It wasn’t a bad effort but it needed a more precise finish.
08:03 PM GMT
1 min: Chelsea 0 Noah 0
Noah, all in white, kick off from left to right as we watch.
07:56 PM GMT
Enzo Maresca’s pre-match thoughts
This is a tricky game because everyone expects it to be easy. In football you still have to do the right things to win the game.
It’s a European competition, so the motivation is there. For them it’s the game, but we have to handle that.
I’m happy for [Tyrique George]. He’s done well as substitute and I hope he does well for us tonight. We only told him a couple of hours ago; sometimes with young players it’s better to do that.
07:52 PM GMT
Chelsea need three-goal win to go top
Results elsewhere, specifically Legia Warsaw’s 4-0 win over Dinamo Minsk, mean Chelsea need to win by at least three goals if they want to stay top of the league phase. Not that it really matters; it will be astonishing if they fail to quality as one of the top eight sides.
07:49 PM GMT
A reminder of the teams
Chelsea (possible 4-1-4-1) Jorgensen; Disasi, Tosin, Badiashile, Veiga; Fernandez; George, Joao Felix, Nkunku, Mudryk; Guiu.
Substitutes: Sanchez, Cucurella, Madueke, Chukwuemeka, Dewsbury-Hall, Gusto, Casadei, Rak-Sakyi, Merrick.
FC Noah (possible 4-3-3) Cancarevic; Miljkovic, Goncalo Silva, Muradyan, Hambardzumyan; Eteki, Manvelyan, Sangare; Cinari, Gregorio, Ferreira.
Substitutes: Ploshchadnyi, Thorarinsson, Aias, Dashyan, Mendoza, Avanesyan, Pablo Santos, Petrosyan, Omar, Pinson.
Referee Christian-Petru Ciochirca (Austria)
07:47 PM GMT
Cole Palmer’s Night Off
Palmer’s just come back in for his pudding and is joined by Levi Colwill, who’s obviously heard how good the food is. A group of young fans who are having a pre-match tour are VERY excited…
07:34 PM GMT
Gyokeres available for cut-price £63m
Premier League clubs have been put on high alert after it emerged that Sporting Lisbon striker Viktor Gyokeres is available for just £63 million.
Gyokeres, 26, is among the most sought-after forwards after two seasons under Ruben Amorim, who starts at Manchester United next week following his final Sporting match against Braga on Sunday.
United, Chelsea and Arsenal have previously been linked with the former Coventry City player, who has scored 23 goals in 17 matches this season, although goalkeeper Andre Onana claimed on Wednesday the current Old Trafford squad is already strong enough.
07:23 PM GMT
Palmer tucking in off the field
Cole Palmer may not be in Chelsea’s Europa Conference League squad this season, but he’s still at Stamford Bridge tonight. And he’s popped into the press room to grab some dinner. It’s chicken and roast potatoes tonight.
07:09 PM GMT
FC Noah team news
FC Noah (4-3-3) Cancarevic; Miljkovic, Goncalo Silva, Muradyan, Hambardzumyan; Eteki, Manvelyan, Sangare; Cinari, Gregorio, Ferreira.
Substitutes: Ploshchadnyi, Thorarinsson, Aias, Dashyan, Mendoza, Avanesyan, Pablo Santos, Petrosyan, Omar, Pinson.
06:58 PM GMT
Chelsea team news
As expected, Enzo Maresca makes 11 changes. The young forward Tyrique George makes his first start for the club in what looks a very attacking line-up; Enzo Fernandez is the only recognised central midfielder.
Tonight's XI. 👇#CFC | #UECL pic.twitter.com/rODvxEp5WK
— Chelsea FC (@ChelseaFC) November 7, 2024
06:50 PM GMT
Half time: Galatasaray 3 Spurs 1
Victor Osimhen, a target for Chelsea in the summer, is taking Spurs about in the Europa League match in Istanbul. You can follow the second half of that game with Ella Nunn.
06:38 PM GMT
Good evening
Football is a simple game: Enzo Maresca makes 11 changes and Chelsea win. That’s been the case so far in the Europa Conference League proper, with Chelsea’s B team top of the table going into today’s third round of fixtures. They put four past both Gent and Panathinaikos and are 1/14 favourites to beat the Armenian team FC Noah – who were only founded in 2017 – at Stamford Bridge.
Chelsea have such a huge squad that their second XI could probably finish mid-table in the Premier League. But Maresca’s unusual policy of having one team for the weekend and another for Thursday - rather than mixing up the two - may lead to some players asking to leave the club in January.
The France international Benoit Badiashile, who has played only 37 minutes in this season’s Premier League, says he is happy at Stamford Bridge for now. “Of course I want to stay, Chelsea is a big club,” he said. “I know how it’s difficult to succeed here but I will try to do my best.
“When you are a footballer you want to play every game but in a club like Chelsea you have a lot of good players. You have to use the minutes that you have and try to be your best.
“I know how it is hard to play in this club with this kind of player. The only thing I can do is work hard and try to convince the gaffer to play me at the weekend.”
Badiashile has been impressed with Maresca’s work on the training ground. “He’s a great person and coach with good ideas. I think we have the same vision of football. I really enjoy the time with the gaffer.”
Not as much as he enjoys the time he spends on the pitch.
Kick off 8pm.
