David Moyes, West Ham and a unique brand of pragmatism

JUST A NAUGHTY BOY?

If there’s one thing West Ham fans probably wish more than anything else, it’s that people unconnected with their club would stop telling them to be careful what they wish for. These put-upon C0ckneys have, in recent months, heard why a Moyes in the hand is better than any number of Rúben Amorims, Julen Lopeteguis or turtleneck-wearing young Germans they’ve never heard of in the bush because … well, they should be careful what they wish for. The implication is clear – that having seen their team win Tin Pot and to still be in with a slim chance of qualifying for it again this time – West Ham fans have been spoilt and should be grateful for their lot in life. Never mind that it involves paying through the nose to sit in a soulless athletics stadium, near a soulless shopping mall, watching an often soulless team dotted with some outlandishly talented players surrender 80% of possession to rivals, many of whom are their significant inferiors. Just be careful what you wish for.

One thing West Ham fans almost certainly didn’t wish for was to see their team go 4-0 down at Crystal Palace inside 31 minutes last Sunday, before running out 5-2 losers. It is a result that appears to have sealed the fate of their manager David Moyes, who has long divided opinion between those supporters who think he should be allowed walk away when his contract expires this summer and the going is good, and those who insist he should have been binned off last summer when the going was even better. To be clear: Moyes has done an extremely good job, as he never tires of chippily reminding anyone who questions his popularity among the club’s fanbase who are tired of his unique brand of pragmatism. However, playing percentage football with the likes of Lucas Paquetá, Mohammed Kudus and Jarrod Bowen in your side is only as entertaining as the results it brings, and having won just three matches out of 12 against the teams above them in the league, the club hierarchy, who made their money with a range of products designed to spice up the love lives of their clientele, have decided they too would like to experiment and try something different to the managerial equivalent of the missionary position.

While no official decision is likely to be made on Moyes’s future until West Ham’s battering at the hands of Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City on the final day of the season, West Ham have already sounded out Lopetegui and on Monday welcomed Sporting manager (and Liverpool target) Amorim to London to talk turkey over a potential move. Young, bearded, hunky, about to win his second league title and hugely sought after, the young Portuguese is everything the man he might replace is not and is believed to have been offered a package to overshadow anything he might have got at Anfield.

According to his Wikipedia page, Amorim exudes “a positive outlook and a laidback, conciliatory demeanour” and “has consistently emphasised that he refrains from engaging in discussions about referees with the media”, a state of affairs that again suggests the man could scarcely less Moysie. Upon his return to Portugal, the beaming 39-year-old manager had little or nothing to say in response to waiting reporters beyond telling them he’d “see you on Saturday” for the press conference before Sporting’s next match against Porto. Early reports suggest West Ham are unlikely to get their man, but the East End jig looks well and truly up for Moyes.

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“If I am a teammate of Cole Palmer in his position or a similar position, I am going to be motivated to go there and show this is Chelsea Football Club, not Cole Palmer Football Club. It is a good example for them – why is he doing so well and why are they not capable to do the same. They are not jealous. They only want the same pill we provide Palmer! It’s a joke! They ask: ‘What you are doing for Palmer? We want the same!’” – Mauricio Pochettino is in surprisingly good spirits despite announcing that his best player by a country mile may miss the defeat at Arsenal due to illness.

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