Halfway line

Here’s a sublime wallop from just inside his own half by Heracles’ Mario Engels against Ajax on 21 October. Unfortunately his side let their lead slip and lost 4-3.

This long-range effort on 1 June was measured at 62 yards and scored by Real Salt Lake’s Chicho Arango in a 5-1 rout of _{Austin FC} in MLS. It’s accompanied by some wonderful commentary too: “Chichooooooooooooo!”

Back to 3 April and a goal from Urawa Red Diamonds’ Thiago Santana in the J. League that is all the more impressive because it was struck while he was on the run, making it whip viciously into the top-right corner of the goal. Bravo!

Sticking with the J.League and this match-winning goal by Avispa Fukuoka forward Shahab Zahedi came from a ridiculous distance. His eagle eyes spotted Gamba Osaka’s goalkeeper off his line and his thunderous right boot did the rest.

And here’s Moisés Caicedo for Chelsea against Bournemouth. Woof!

Skills

A nutmeg and powerful dribble to the edge of the box with a top-corner finish. Take a bow, Melbourne Victory’s Bruno Fornaroli.

Hannah Bennison swivels on the edge of the area and smashes an unstoppable shot in off the bar against Manchester City back in March.

Bolton’s Paris Maghoma sends Charlton’s defenders running to the wrong fire twice before curling the ball into the corner in a thrilling 3-3 draw in February.

Who else has seen this filth? Jaden Philogene earned a Puskas nomination with this outrageous rabona finish for Hull City against Rotherham.

Fancy an even more spectacular rabona goal? Check out this effort from KCCA’s Denis Omedi against Kitara in Uganda.

Here’s Montpellier wizard Teji Savanier with a volley so clean you could eat your dinner off of it.

Antoine Griezmann channels Dennis Bergkamp with this ludicrously delicious turn and finish for Atlético against Valladolid.

Can you beat a solo length-of-the-pitch run and finish, like Mohammed Kudus’s goal against Freiburg in the Europa League? We’re not sure you can.

Jon Rowe dazzles with his fancy footwork before putting the icing on the cake with a trivela finish for Norwich against Hull back in January.

In that same month Bernardo Silva produced this impish finish for Manchester City at Newcastle.

And Curtis Jones did something similarly cheeky on his England debut against Greece in November.

Alex Gilbey does a fine Eric Cantona impression for MK Dons against Salford City in March. Ooh la la.

Grassroots

The battlefields of amateur football often give us some wonderful goals to savour. Here’s a cracker from the Sunday league Roberto Carlos.

As clean a hit as you’ll see.

Records may have been broken if someone had pointed a speed gun at this volley by Colliers Town FC’s Jake Hill.

And here’s an outrageous rainbow flick and finish.

Long-range stunners

Here’s a collection of strikes from outside the box that had no right to go in, starting with this screamer from Aston Villa supersub Jhon Durán.

Lamine Yamal, aged 16 and 362 days, scoring that sublime goal for eventual champions Spain against France in the Euro 2024 semi-finals. Xavi Simons also scored this belter for the Netherlands, but they ultimately lost to England.

Another cracker from a teenage superstar at the Euros: Arda Güler scores a stunning left-footed strike from 30 yards out to complete Turkey’s comeback against Georgia.

Another one that just keeps curling, scored by Paulina Krumbiegel for Duisburg against Hoffenheim in the Frauen-Bundesliga.

Marta won the inaugural, er, Marta award for this cracker of a finish for Brazil, on what looks a testing surface.

Also nominated: France’s Sakina Karchaoui, who had never scored for her country before this year but offered quality to make up for a lack of quantity.

There’s a touch of Vincent Kompany to this long-range finish from Wolfsburg defender Marina Hegering against Essen back in January.

A few free-kicks to add in to the collection here, starting with this whipped-in beauty from Juventus’s Arkadiusz Milik.

Trent Alexander-Arnold has scored a couple of sublime dead-ball goals this year. This one at Fulham wasn’t bad.

Is it better than this one he scored for England against Finland, though?

Enes Unal makes a late entry with this pinpoint free-kick equaliser for Bournemouth against West Ham.

Declan Rice chooses not to celebrate this absolute worldie against former club West Ham (sorry, Hammers fans).

To the Olympics and it’s Achraf Hakimi scoring a free-kick to seal bronze for Morocco that was hit with such venom we’re surprised it didn’t rip a hole in the net.

Acrobatics

Lanús forward Walter Bou scores a ridiculous bicycle-kick against Tigre in Argentina, teeing it up for himself perfectly with his chest.

Jude Bellingham’s overhead kick for England against Slovakia at the Euros might not have been from so far out, but it earns extra points for drama.

More acrobatics as Monza’s Dany Mota contorts his body to fire home a wonderful volley against Genoa in March. Little wonder it scooped Serie A’s goal-of-the-season award for 2023-24.

How to describe this Harry Wilson goal for Fulham? A flying heel-flick?

A one-touch backheel finish from Benfica’s Petar Musa here …

… but is it better than the acrobatics from Erling Haaland when he scored a similar goal against Sparta Prague? You decide.

How?

Ella Toone with a goal against Tottenham in the FA Cup final for which there is only one worthy phrase: “Pick that out!”

Osasuna defender Jesús Areso scores from a seemingly impossible angle to seal a 3-2 victory over Getafe in La Liga. Was it a cross or a shot? Who cares. Just watch it over and over again.

To the A-League back in February and a video-game style run and finish from Melbourne City’s Marco Tilio. Oof!

Assists

Here’s a collection of Sunday league goals made all the better by the quality of the assist. Enjoy.

It’s Curtis Jones again, this time showing some masterful geometry to set up Luis Díaz’s sublime dinked finish for Liverpool against Leverkusen.

One for Alan Shearer or Chris Sutton to salivate over now. An old fashioned cross from Anthony Gordon that had “head me” written all over it. Alexander Isak duly obliged.

Cole Palmer punches the tiniest hole in the Nottingham Forest defence with a beautifully-weighted pass to Mykhailo Mudryk.

You might expect Scotland’s Andy Robertson to cross for John Souttar, but the reverse happened here in spectacular fashion: centre-back Souttar crossing for a bullet Robertson header at the back post against Poland.

Here’s Palmer again with a pre-assist against Newcastle that is so good we don’t care if this goal is in the wrong section.

Oh, Kevin De Bruyne. Behave.

And finally, is the assist better than the finish for this Honduras goal? Why not just enjoy both.