Poor Alexis Sanchez. All he wanted was a Premier League winner’s medal, and moving to the side 15 points clear to the top of the table seemed a surefire way to get one. But then Manchester City – England’s most obscenely decadent club – suddenly come over all financially prudent and decide they don’t want to buy him because he’s too expensive. Even though he would cost half what they offered for him six months ago! You couldn’t make it up.

And thus, it seems the luckless Chilean is going to have to sign for Manchester United instead.

There is, at least, the small consolation of a £350,000 weekly wage at Old Trafford. The Express claims that’s what Sanchez will earn when he completes his move to the red half of Manchester “within the next 48 hours”.

They appear especially convinced about this after getting wind of a recent Romelu Lukaku snapchat post in which the Belgian not-so-subtly “confirmed” the move by posting three emojis – Chile flag, right arrow, devil.

READ MORE: West Brom legend Cyrille Regis dies

READ MORE: Gossip: Liverpool ‘in for Sanchez’ as Man United ‘consider £444m Neymar bid’

READ MORE: No offence intended by Aubameyang ‘monkey circus’ remarks

Could be something to do with the Chilean miners? Or an obscure insult aimed at Javier Margas?

Unlikely though, because Arsenal are already trying to decide what United players they can get out of it, with the Guardian reporting that Arsene Wenger is keen on taking Armenian playmaker Henrikh Mkhitaryan to the Emirates in part-exchange.

As for City, Goal says they have “pulled the plug” on a move for Alexis after being asked by his agent to “pay extra money in wages and fees”. Extra money that United are apparently happy to pay.

With Pep Guardiola’s side finally losing a match yesterday, could this be the week when City’s title chase unravels – leaving Alexis to get his Premier League winner’s medal after all? Stranger things have not happened.

Arsenal launch Aubameyang raid

Meanwhile, the Gunners are considering how to quickly replace their star player. Even more exciting than their alleged interest in Mkhitaryan is the Express‘ claim says Wenger is plotting a “£98m double swoop” for Bordeaux winger Malcom and unsettled Borussia Dortmund striker Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang.

Arsenal are also tipped to compete with Chelsea to sign Watford’s Brazilian forward Richarlison, despite him not having found the net in his past 12 games (Sun on Sunday).

The Blues could face a battle to hold on to midfield lynchpin N’Golo Kante in the summer, with the Mirror claiming that Paris Saint-Germain want the Frenchman as a replacement for Thiago Motta.

In even more worrying news for Chelsea fans, the club is still apparently considering a January move for West Ham striker Andy Carroll to boost Antonio Conte’s attack (Telegraph).

Elsewhere, Liverpool have dropped their interest in Monaco winger Thomas Lemar after the French side refused to budge on their £90m asking price (Times), Man Utd want to offer David de Gea a new contract that would keep him at Old Trafford for the rest of his career (Mirror) and Crystal Palace have “leapfrogged” West Ham in the race to sign £15m-rated Fiorentina striker Khouma Babacar, which would be a double whammy for the Hammers because the Eagles were supposed to be buying Diafra Sakho off them (Sun). Namealikes Mamadou Sakho and Bacary Sako must have put their feet down over that one.