“I’m not suited to Bolton or Blackburn, I would be more suited to Inter Milan or Real Madrid. I would win the double or the league every time. Give me Manchester United or Chelsea and I would do the same, it wouldn’t be a problem.”

The famously humble Sam Allardyce has been waiting a long time for the chance to manage a “top” side – and sadly for him (and them, based on the level of success promised in the quote above) the wait goes on.

But with Everton, Big Sam appears to have found a club that is at least trying to be a top side – and they’re trying so hard that they are reportedly going to give their new gaffer £60m to spend on Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang.

The Mirror reports that the Toffees are plotting an audacious move for the Borussia Dortmund striker next month as they aim to belatedly replace the departed Romelu Lukaku – their top scorer for the past four seasons.

The good news for Big Sam is that Aubameyang looks set to be available for transfer in January following a series of off-the-field disputes with Dortmund.

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The not-so-good news is that the Gabonese goal machine has previously been linked with the likes of Manchester City, Paris Saint-Germain and Liverpool. And he may – like so many others – not fully appreciate the fact that Allardyce is a genius who can offer him more than all those teams put together. It’s so frustrating!

Man Utd swoop for Chelsea target

However, Allardyce’s angst is nothing compared to the fury Chelsea will feel when they read today’s Express. The paper claims the Blues’ move for long-time defensive target, Alex Sandro, is set to be “hijacked” by their old friend Jose Mourinho.

Mourinho’s Manchester United have allegedly made the Brazilian left-back their “No1 January target” and are set to swoop after he expressed a desire to quit Italian champions Juventus.

Chelsea have already swooped for the 26-year-old numerous times, without success, and United are now hoping to “turn Sandro’s head”. Hopefully not too far though – he’s not some kind of owl.

Another coveted left-footer who looks increasingly likely to move to Old Trafford is Gareth Bale, who the Star says has “reached an agreement” with Real Madrid to quit the Bernabeu at the end of the season and return to the Premier League.

Real president Florentino Perez is hoping to recoup the £85m he paid for Bale in 2013, but United are only willing to pay £50m. That price could rise, however, if the Red Devils are drawn into a bidding war with Tottenham, who are keen on re-signing the Welshman.

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Elsewhere, Chelsea are lining up a £20m January move for Bayer Leverkusen’s 20-year-old winger Leon Bailey but face competition from Barcelona (Sun), Arsenal are in pole position to land highly rated Schalke midfielder Leon Goretzka on a free transfer in the summer (Mirror) and – in some heartwarming romantic news – Man Utd defender Victor Lindelof was spotted giving his fiancee some flowers in a supermarket car park in Manchester (Express). Sounds like a man desperately trying to accumulate some brownie points before he loses his first-team place to the fit-again Phil Jones this weekend.

@darlingkevin