So where will Alexis Sanchez play in Manchester United’s attack? Some think he could take the load off Romelu Lukaku and start up front; others have suggested he will play on the right, with Anthony Martial on the left and Jesse Lingard as a No.10.
But another option is that he will play just behind Lukaku, with Cristiano Ronaldo on the left and Gareth Bale on the right.
Sounds silly? Well that’s Don Balon for you.
The Spanish gossip mavericks have revealed (as translated for our convenience by the Express) that Bale has told Real Madrid “he will be joining Sanchez” at Old Trafford, the Welshman having allegedly been “secretly talking with United for weeks”.
Meanwhile, it has been claimed on the equally imaginative Spanish show El Chiringuito TV (which the Express has been watching diligently) that the Red Devils are also lining up a world-record £352m bid to re-sign Ronaldo and have “put the machinery on march” (a phrase which presumably makes more sense in the original Castilian).
READ MORE: West Ham stand firm over Carroll fee
READ MORE: Where next for Ronaldo if he leaves Real?
Man City close in on Evans
By contrast, no other Premier League club is having nearly as much fun in the transfer market as United.
Arsenal, for instance, are set to get a measly £30m for Sanchez (the same amount as the player will earn in a year on his reported £500k weekly wage) and they won’t get much change from that if they sign Jonny Evans.
In another blow for Arsene Wenger, Juventus are said by the Sun to be sniffing around Hector Bellerin, with the Italian club apparently “sending scouts” to watch the 22-year-old right-back in action. Hopefully the last match against Bournemouth put them off.
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West Ham, as ever, are looking busy in the transfer window without actually buying or selling anyone.
Hammers boss David Moyes apparently watched Chelsea’s Michy Batshuayi against Norwich last night (Mail) and is keen on signing Inter Milan’s Joao Mario on loan (Telegraph), while Irons striker Javier Hernandez is holding talks with Besiktas (Talksport) and Andy Carroll is pretending to be injured because he wants to join Chelsea (Mirror). Carroll injured?? No one would fall for that implausible ruse, Andy!
Another historically crocked England striker, Daniel Sturridge, is set to be denied a move to Sevilla because the Spanish side want to sign him on loan and Liverpool are only interested in letting him leave Anfield on a permanent deal (Mail). Which is a bit mean considering Jurgen Klopp never plays him.
Elsewhere, Chelsea and Man City are competing with Paris Saint-Germain to sign Nice midfielder Jean-Michael Seri (Sun), Juventus are keen on Tottenham’s Danish star Christian Eriksen (Corriere dello Sport) and Real Madrid want to revamp their attack by signing Chelsea’s Eden Hazard, PSG’s Kylian Mbappe and Bayern Munich’s Robert Lewandowski (Marca). It’s a bit like that time Harry Redknapp revitalised West Ham’s frontline with a double swoop for John Hartson and Paul Kitson. Exciting.