Most Arsenal fans would love it if the club tied down Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil to new contracts and got rid of Arsene Wenger.

But unfortunately for most Arsenal fans, it appears the Gunners are going to tie down Wenger to a new contract and get rid of Sanchez and Ozil.

Oh well, sorry guys. You win some, you lose some. (Or, in this case, you lose all.)

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But it’s not all bad news Gooners, because Wenger has big plans for you – oh yes. The Mirror reports that he will sign a new two-year deal, then go on a summer spending spree and “try to take the club to the next level”.

What are you laughing at? It’s true, look. The tabloid reports that Wenger has prepared for the increasingly likely departure of Sanchez and Ozil by drawing up a very sexy list of transfer targets including Monaco sensation Kylian Mbappe, Lyon’s Alexandre Lacazette, Borussia Dortmund’s Marco Reus and Celtic’s Moussa Dembele – and that’s just the forwards.

The Mirror’s article goes on to detail how Wenger will revamp his entire squad, with Stoke’s Jack Butland replacing Petr Cech in goal, Celtic’s Kieran Tierney and Valencia’s Jose Gaya bolstering the defence and Ross Barkley arriving in midfield.

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It adds that “Arsenal will back him heavily with a massive budget of over £100m”. Hmm – probably enough to buy about two of those players then.

But there’s a twist, because the Sun says other forces are attempting to remove Wenger from the Emirates – and they’re not Arsenal fans. Paris Saint-Germain are apparently set to offer Wenger a two-year deal to return home to France, replace Unai Emery and remain part of the European Union.

Meanwhile, the Standard says none of these things are true, and that Wenger “remains torn” over his Gunners future and will use the upcoming international break to “mull over the situation”. As you were then.

Moving on to Tottenham, the Mail says Mauricio Pochettino is “leading the queue” to sign Gunners (and Chelsea) target Barkley.

Everton want the 23-year-old to sign a new contract at Goodison Park, but Spurs have reportedly “hardened their interest” in the playmaker, whatever that means. Sounds a bit wrong.

Liverpool are the latest club linked with Burnley’s in-demand defender Michael Keane, with the Mail reporting that the Reds have joined Everton, Manchester City and Leicester in pursuit of the 24-year-old centre-back – with the Toffees “favourites” to sign him.

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Jurgen Klopp is also said to be keen on 21-year-old RB Leipzig striker Timo Werner, who has scored 14 goals in 24 league games this season and gets injured a lot less than Daniel Sturridge (Mail).

Elsewhere, West Brom manager Tony Pulis is set to be offered an improved Hawthorns deal at the end of the season (Telegraph), Barcelona are targeting Juventus boss Maximiliano Allegri as a replacement for Luis Enrique (Premium Sport) and former Walt Disney Corporation chairman Michael Eisner has launched a bid to buy League Two Portsmouth (The News). Wouldn’t make much difference – they’ve been run like a Mickey Mouse club for years.

@darlingkevin

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