The former England, Tottenham and Newcastle midfielder writes exclusively for Yahoo as our Football Ambassador

As someone who made my debut as a young teenager, I know exactly how elated West Ham's Reece Oxford is feeling right now. The 16-year-old justified his selection in the Hammers' 2-0 win at Arsenal with a mature display, but it's a chance he would not have got at some other Premier League clubs.

Slaven Bilic showed impressive courage to pick Oxford, instead of the easy option like Kevin Nolan, because if the plan failed it would fall on the manager's head. In a climate where most top clubs are more comfortable buying a player than bringing one through the ranks, youngsters such as Oxford are reliant on the bravery of their managers

Jose Mourinho, for example, has this summer lamented Chelsea's failure to attract world class talent from the likes of Barcelona, Real Madrid and Bayern Munich. He says these players don't want come to England anymore. But that's all the more reason why the Blues should be trying harder to bring through their own outstanding youngsters.

Instead, Chelsea continue to send them out on loan. The Blues let go Ryan Bertrand, a youth product and full England international, and now Mourinho is scouring the globe for a new left-back after the £15m signing of Filipe Luis didn't work out.

Things could have been different if the club had nurtured Bertrand and told him he was pivotal to Chelsea's plans. A young player needs to be given that confidence.

I was made captain of Nottingham Forest at 17 and then I moved to Newcastle at 18 for £5m - massive money at the time. But my first two weeks on Tyneside were a nightmare. I was nervous, and I was rubbish in training. I remember thinking, 'What have I done? I'm just not the player I was at Forest'. Then on the Thursday before the Tyne-Wear derby Sir Bobby Robson came to me and said, "You're playing on Sunday by the way."

I was shocked. There's no bigger game at Newcastle. But the minute I played that game, those two weeks of training were irrelevant. We won 1-0, I performed well and that earned me the full respect of my team-mates. Coming out the other side of that match gave me so much confidence. I felt like I'd passed my hardest test, especially mentally.

Reece Oxford will be feeling that now. He didn't do anything extraordinary against Arsenal, but the performance was almost more impressive because of his discipline and patience.

Beating Arsenal doesn't automatically make him a world beater, but coming through that game makes him stronger. It's all about progression. He's proved he can look after himself in the lion's den and shown his team-mates he's a man, not a boy.

Sir Bobby took a risk for me

Meanwhile, Chelsea's method of sending youngsters to Vitesse Arnhem and elsewhere across Europe is not working, because when the players return to Stamford Bridge they don't get an opportunity to play.

There's something wrong with the Chelsea system. Sometimes you just play better when you're with better players - it could be as simple as that.

But it is also about building a player's self-belief.

The chances I was given at a young age by Forest and Newcastle hugely influenced my career. In my head I felt like I was going in a certain direction, and any young player will feel the same way. They'll feel loved by their club and that they're on a track that will ultimately lead to the first team.

But if you get to 21 and realise you're still classed as a "kid", that's weird. I was playing for England by the time I was 19 and it all stemmed from the fact that Bobby Robson put his head on the block for me, just like Bilic has done with Oxford.

The best - and worst - places for youngsters to play

Things at a club can change. A lot of players at Tottenham used to complain to me that there were no opportunities for young players, but then Tim Sherwood came in and bang: Bentaleb, Kane, Mason. It was like Tottenham had a sudden realisation that young players can contribute, and Mauricio Pochettino has taken it further.

West Ham and Spurs are two of a few clubs that are more attractive to young players. Southampton, Swansea and Tim Sherwood at Villa also appreciate young talent, and then there's Arsenal. Arsene Wenger is the guru of building players' careers, and a lot of young players want to go to the Emirates because it almost guarantees you a career.

But if I was in the same position now as I was at 18 - a young player with a choice of Premier League clubs - there are other clubs I would definitely avoid.

As well as Chelsea, I'd steer clear of Manchester City and Manchester United because they're just not prepared to take a risk on a young kid at the moment. The amount of money they spend means you could go missing.

The exception is an expensive signing like John Stones. The fact Newcastle paid £5m for me gave me power - I was the second most expensive teenager in the world at the time - so they had to back me. If Chelsea lay down £30m for Stones, then they can't not play him.

Young shoulders, big decisions

When Forest manager Paul Hart called me into his office when I was 18, he told me that Leeds and Newcastle had made £5m bids for me and Man Utd had bid £2m - United's offer was lower because Alex Ferguson had apparently said playing for the club was "an honour".

I got the feeling I'd have to wait for my chance at Man Utd, but Newcastle was different. Sir Bobby told me, "You'll be playing, son. I need you. I want you starting," and that resonated.

Man Utd were the more glamorous option, and even now some people might say I should have gone to Old Trafford and given it a go, but I still believe I made the right decision. I went to Newcastle, started matches and within a year I was playing for England.

As a young player there comes a time when you have to make that decision. I decided I wanted games, and Reece Oxford did the same when he committed himself to West Ham last year despite reported interest from bigger clubs. Right now that looks like a smart move because Oxford has the most important thing you need as youngster: a manager that trusts you.