Kurt Zouma issued with joke ban from Manchester United star Paul Pogba’s house over game of Uno

It’s often said that the key to happiness is not taking life too seriously. This is, of course, a useless lie told by hippies who want to lull us into a false sense of security.

Still, most of us would probably die of stress were we to treat everything with the deadly seriousness that Paul Pogba treats Uno.

Compared to, say, massive social inequality, global warming and the threat of nuclear apocalypse, Uno just doesn’t seem all that important.

According to Kurt Zouma, however, Uno is treated with the utmost importance in the Pogba household. Friends and international teammates with France, Zouma and Pogba usually get on well off the pitch.

Their friendship was almost derailed recently over a contentious game of Uno, with lasting consequences for Zouma. Speaking to Goal, the Stoke loanee said: “[Pogba] doesn’t like to lose when we play card games, like Uno, he doesn’t like to lose.

“He is the same guy as before, he hasn’t changed. The other day, I went to his house and beat him. He was so, so, so angry.

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“He didn’t want me to come anymore. He told me: ‘Don’t come anymore to my house.’ I said ‘My friend, please, it’s only Uno we’re talking about.’”

If that seems like an overreaction from Pogba, well, maybe that’s the competitive spirit which allows someone to succeed as a professional footballer. When Zouma’s ban from the Pogba household is rescinded, we’ll report back.