Janssen unfancied

Life moves pretty fast, as Ferris Bueller was keen to remind us. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Spare a thought for Vincent Janssen. This time last year the Netherlands striker was gearing up for his maiden campaign in English football. With a boyish glint in his eye and a patient fanbase behind him, there was every hope those impressive scoring stats from the Eredivisie would be translated across the Channel. If not, then hey, he’s only 22, there’s plenty of time to acclimatise.

Or maybe not.

Growing up in the small Dutch village of Heesch, I’m not sure young Vincent would have known what a Tony Pulis was. Or, indeed, what it might be used for. If reports this morning are to be believed, that WBA have walloped down a £23m bid for Spurs’ misfiring hitman, then he’s about to receive a quick lesson.

Life moves pretty fast.

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Llorente bid accepted

Someone’s dialled the clocks back to 2013: Spurs are in serious talks for Fernando Llorente. Presumably we’ve also got a crack team out in Porto Alegre trying to finalize a deal for Leandro Damião before the window shuts this evening.

I can see the logic. To a point. Llorente has proven himself a capable finisher in this League we call Premier. 15 goals in that mess of a Swansea team (up until April) is some achievement. In statistical terms, Llorente trumps Janssen in just about every category.

The suggestion that we might be able to land the Spaniard for less than £10m (due to a backlog of funds owed to us from the sale of Gylfi Sigurdsson to Everton) is also an attractive detail.

The negatives? Well, if Spurs fans were worried about Vincent Janssen’s lack of pace, they mightn’t be too bowled over by the mobility of Llorente. At 32-years-of-age, it’s not an attribute that’s likely to improve, either.

If you could get your hands on a data map of every goal the former Bilbao forward managed last season, I’d wager the majority of them would be from deep inside the area by means of his handsome forehead. It’s a struggle to see how that fits into Pochettino’s brand of attacking football.

The smart move would be to throw everything we’ve got at Celtic for Moussa Dembélé.

We can but dream.