If you're a match-going football fan, games on the telly can wreak havoc with your diligent ground-hopping. Unsociable kick-off times. Non-existent trains. Going to Burnley on a Sunday.

Heroes, the lot of 'em.

But for the couch potatos who've forked out handsomely for TV subscriptions, what's on the box is important stuff. Sorry Jeremiah, can't do your 60th birthday brunch, it's Southampton vs Cardiff. He'd understand.

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Only that scenario is highly unlikely, because TV bigwigs have seemingly done everything they can to not screen Southampton games up until the end of November. The downtrodden Saints are only being shown twice from the beginning of the season onwards – against Chelsea and the surprisingly sought-after Brighton, who will feature on the box six times in that time period. Must be Pascal Gross's smouldering good looks, we can only imagine.

In earth-shattering news, Manchester United and Liverpool lead the way with 10 showings apiece – but not against one another just yet – with Arsenal, Chelsea and Tottenham (all nine) trailing just behind. Champions Manchester City sit a few matches back on seven.

For the full standings, see the table below...