In hindsight, Notre Dame women’s basketball coach Niele Ivey isn’t surprised that football coach Marcus Freeman was one step ahead. Knowing him as well as she does now, it tracks.

But in December 2021, when Notre Dame promoted Freeman from defensive coordinator to head coach, she had asked someone in her office to get his number so she could congratulate him. In his first season on campus, their paths had not yet crossed, but as a fellow Fighting Irish coach who thought they could connect on quite a bit, she wanted to extend a hand in his first days as head coach.

But before anyone could return with Freeman’s number, a text message popped up from an unknown number.

“Of course,” Ivey said, “he was already on top of it.”

Even before sitting down, Ivey noticed their Venn diagrams of experience in life and coaching overlapped. They were former college athletes who also played professionally. They were new first-time head coaches (Ivey was hired as head coach at her alma mater in 2020) and young Black coaches in professions that lacked Black coaches but predominantly featured Black players. Additionally, Ivey and Freeman were in the challenging positions of following the winningest coaches in the history of their respective programs: Muffet McGraw (848 wins and two national titles) in women’s hoops and Brian Kelly (92 wins) in football.

Over the past four years, as they’ve ascended in their professions, parallels of their experiences have become even tighter, and their friendship and support for each other has strengthened, too. Monday night, Freeman will coach the Irish in the national title game against Ohio State. He’s the first Black head coach to appear in a national title game as he aims to bring Notre Dame its first championship since 1988. Ivey’s squad, ranked No. 3 in the AP poll, could find itself knocking on the door of a national title this April. Though she hasn’t won that elusive national championship as a head coach (she did as a player and assistant coach), last season Ivey became the first Black coach to win an ACC regular-season women’s basketball title as Notre Dame’s first Black women’s basketball coach.

But thinking back to that winter in 2021, Ivey said her main goal for her first conversation in Freeman’s office was to make sure he understood she was in his corner. Though Ivey had stepped into the role of head coach after spending 16 years on campus as a player and assistant coach, building deep relationships in the South Bend community and on campus, she recognized Freeman had less than a year at Notre Dame before assuming the top position. She assumed that could be overwhelming.

“I understand the magnitude. I understand the heaviness of that job. I just went through it a year prior,” she told him. “You’re not out here on an island by yourself. You have a lot of love and support. People want to see you win. Yeah, this is a big job. Expectations are high. Both of us knew what we were stepping into. … I just wanted him to know, ‘I understand what you’re going through.’ So if he ever needed anything, I could be a sounding board for him because I’m in the same scenario.”

From that initial conversation, Ivey said their friendship was immediate and they leaned on each other through the ups and downs of their seasons. She sat in on some of his practices, and he did the same with women’s hoops. Freeman became a mainstay in courtside seats with his family at Purcell Pavilion, and Ivey has been a sideline guest at Notre Dame Stadium, too. After one women’s basketball game last season, Ivey even brought Freeman into the locker room to speak to her team.

As is true of most friendships, Ivey and Freeman most appreciate how the other has shown up in the hard moments.

Ivey texted Freeman after the Irish’s lone football loss this season: a Week 2 upset to Northern Illinois at home. She reminded him that losses can be fuel and that he could use it as a motivation for himself and his players.

“Even as a coach, some people don’t reach out, or they only reach out after wins — big wins,” Ivey said. “But it’s the people who reach out after tough losses. I know that firsthand. So, every tough loss he’s had, I’ve texted him right after. I think you need to hear the support when you’re in your darkest times.”

Freeman has returned the favor. At the end of November, on a flight back from USC after the football team had reeled off its 10^th consecutive win since the NIU loss, Freeman checked the women’s basketball scores and saw that Ivey’s Irish had just endured their second loss of the season — in fact, their second loss in two days — just a week after upsetting then-No. 3 USC on the road.

“Sometimes only coaches know what coaches go through. If I can text her after a big win, I do, but more than anything, I make sure to reach out to her after a difficult loss,” Freeman said. “I remember saying, ‘They’re looking at you more now than they ever have. So, pick your head up, let’s go back to work.’

“It’s great to have that type of relationship with people that understand what you’re going through as the head coach of a program.”

Given the winning traditions both have established early in their careers — Ivey is 105-34 in her fifth year, becoming the fastest coach in ACC history to reach 100 wins, and Freeman is 33-9 in four seasons — there haven’t been that many opportunities for consoling messages. But they’ve remained steadfast in helping each other build their careers and programs over the past few years.

Ivey will be in the stands Monday night in Atlanta, where the Irish will play Ohio State in the College Football Playoff championship. She couldn’t imagine missing this game to support not only her university but also her colleague and friend. It’s fair to assume Freeman will be along for the ride this March (and potentially April) when the women’s basketball team embarks on its national title quest.

“It shows who we are,” Ivey said. “At Notre Dame, we don’t just talk about being family. We really, truly are.”

Ralph Russo contributed to this report.

This article originally appeared in The Athletic.

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