1) As we all know, football is extremely important, and as such, it is absolutely impossible for grown adults to go about their lives when a refereeing decision does not go their way. In the Premier League, that means VAR; in Bolivia, that means appearing to consult VAR even though there isn’t any. Last weekend, Club Always Ready led Bolívar 1-0 with just seconds of injury-time left, when the referee visited the touchline, drew the top of an oblong with his hands, and awarded a penalty. Amazingly, consternation in the form of a 15-minute row ensued, featuring policemen dressed as Darth Vader and the shortest shorts since Glenn Hoddle’s heyday.
2) However good a defender is, they’re always vulnerable to the individual brilliance of the finest strikers. So here’s Harry Maguire, in financial terms the greatest of them all, getting rinsed by Laurent Depoitre. And now, to restore cosmic balance, here’s Jaap Stam kicking Olly Murs up in the air, drilling Bradley James into the turf and knocking Bayern Munich around … all after retiring from the professional game.
3) Athletics seems like a nice, gentle sport, so here’s a compilation of track and field rucks, featuring Haile Gebrselassie, Moses Tanui, Ezekiel Kemboi and the legendary Mahiedine Mekhissi-Benabbad – who also knows how to enjoy a victory.
4) You’d have thought that, after knocking out Ben Askren in five seconds to break the UFC record, Jorge Masvidal would’ve finished for the night. But he had not, subsequently delivering the greatest and most chilling interview of all time.
5) Sport in drama is uniformly awful, but even by the standard, this from Grange Hill – also featuring Baxter threatening Gripper Stebson – is majestic.
Our favourites from below the line last week
1) Official world record attempt: the fastest hole of golf ever.
2) Not for the squeamish: worst AFL injuries of all-time.
3) Rory McIlroy hits a drive … 436 yards.
4) Essex & Suffolk Border League fun: the ref is late and no one has a whistle, but someone has a harmonica.
Spotters badges: whobroughtoranges, kensson, scopey.