Sir Bobby Charlton, who has died aged 86, was one of the greatest footballers England has ever produced. He was certainly the most successful, the only English player to win all of football’s major honours – the FA Cup, Football League and European Cup with Manchester United, and the World Cup with England, accumulating a record number of international caps and goals.

As captain of United in 1968, when they were the first English team to win the European Cup, and a key player in the 1966 World Cup-winning team, he was the embodiment of a golden age of English football. But he was also involved in one of the game’s darkest moments, the 1958 Munich air disaster, in which eight of his team-mates, three United staff and a further 12 passengers were killed.

Charlton was renowned for his raking passes and explosive long-range shots, with either foot, and was blessed with speed, athleticism and perfect balance.

Some commentators say he was a scorer of great goals rather than a great goalscorer, but the statistics undermine that claim. For England, he scored 49 in 106 appearances, and he was United’s highest all-time scorer, with 249 in 758 games, until 2017, when his record was beaten by Wayne Rooney.

But it was his modesty and gentlemanly demeanour, as much as his outstanding ability, that won him admiration far beyond Manchester and England. At the height of his fame in the mid to late 60s, when London and the counterculture were in full swing, one of the world’s most famous Englishmen was an old-fashioned sporting hero. Across the world, the first or only two words of English many people could speak were “Bobby Charlton”.

He was born in the Northumberland mining village of Ashington, the second of four sons of Robert Charlton, a miner, and his wife, Elizabeth, known as Cissie, who came from the famous Milburn football family. Four of her brothers were professional footballers and her cousin was the Newcastle United and England centre-forward Jackie Milburn. Bobby’s elder brother, Jack, also became a footballer, and, although not as gifted as his younger brother, he enjoyed a distinguished career as a centre-half for Leeds United, and later as a successful manager. Jack and Bobby were England team-mates in 1966.

Most Ashington boys went down the pit on leaving school (as Jack did briefly before joining Leeds), but from a young age it was apparent that Bobby would become a footballer. He passed the 11-plus but attending the local grammar was unthinkable because it was a rugby-playing school. However, he was such a prodigy that his headteacher – with encouragement from Cissie – arranged a place at another nearby school, the football-playing Bedlington grammar.

In his last year at school, he played four times for England schoolboys, scoring five goals, and football scouts from across Britain were soon knocking at the family’s door. He received offers from 18 clubs in all, but was charmed by Manchester United’s chief scout, Joe Armstrong, and signed for them in 1953.

Apart from a brief swansong with Preston North End and then Waterford, in Ireland, it was to be his only club, and an inspired choice. Not only were United a club on the rise, but their inspirational manager, Matt Busby, was prepared to give youth its head, assembling a precociously talented young team that played with swagger and flair, capturing the nation’s imagination and earning them the nickname the Busby Babes. They swept all before them to win the First Division (the equivalent of today’s Premier League) in 1955-56, and retained the title the following season, in which Charlton scored twice on his debut, against Charlton Athletic, on 6 October 1956.

As champions, United entered the European Cup, the first English side to do so, and reached the semi-finals in 1957. A year later they beat Red Star Belgrade in the quarter-finals, with Charlton, now an established first-teamer, scoring three goals over the two legs. On the flight back from Belgrade the following day, the team’s plane stopped to refuel in Munich. In freezing conditions, it crashed and burst into flames while attempting to take off from the snowy runway.

Charlton was catapulted 40 yards from the plane, still strapped into his seat, and clear of the burning wreck. He woke minutes later, suffering only from shock and minor cuts. He later described his escape as a miracle, but it would haunt him for the rest of his life. The grief of witnessing friends perish left its mark, turning an already shy young man into an introspective one. Many close to him, including Busby and his brother Jack, said that Bobby changed for ever after Munich. “He never got over Munich,” said Busby. “He felt responsible. Those were his kids that died that day.”

Characteristically, Jack was more blunt. In his 1996 autobiography, he wrote: “I saw a big change in our kid from that day on. He stopped smiling, a trait which continues to this day.” The book lifted the lid on the brothers’ strained relationship – they barely spoke for many years, partly due to the cooling of relations between Norma (nee Ball), Bobby’s wife, whom he married in 1961, and his wider family, in particular Cissie, to whom he did not pay a visit in the final four years of her life. Fortunately Bobby and Jack were reconciled before Jack’s death in 2020.

Despite all the success and veneration that would come Charlton’s way, he always carried a slight air of melancholy. He was not withdrawn, however, on the football field, where he exuded the freedom, desire and commanding presence characteristic of great athletes.

Related: Sir Bobby Charlton (1937-2023) – his life in pictures

Just 23 days after Munich, Charlton was back playing for United, and for the remainder of that traumatic season, and indeed the next decade, he was the foundation stone on which Manchester United were rebuilt. Showing remarkable spirit, United reached the FA Cup final within three months of the disaster, with a patched-up team of youth players, stop-gap signings and four players who had survived the crash. There was a tide of public sympathy behind them, but they lost the game 2-0 to Bolton Wanderers.

On 19 April, shortly before the Cup final, Charlton made his England debut, scoring in a 4-0 win against Scotland at Hampden Park. He scored twice more in his second game, against Portugal at Wembley, and this earned him a place in the squad for the World Cup in Sweden that summer. It was the first of his four World Cup squads (another record for an Englishman), though he did not get off the bench in Sweden. By the 1962 World Cup in Chile, he was a first-choice player and scored against Argentina as England reached the quarter-finals before losing to the eventual champions, Brazil.

As hosts of the 1966 World Cup, England made a disappointing start, with a 0-0 draw against Uruguay. It was in the second game, against Mexico, that Charlton lit up England’s hopes with a magnificent goal, running from his own half with the ball before unleashing a trademark thunderbolt shot. In the semi-final against Portugal, he had the international game of his life, scoring both goals in the 2-1 win that put England into the final.

He had a relatively quiet game in the 4-2 final victory against West Germany, given the task by the England manager, Alf Ramsey, of marking the brilliant young Franz Beckenbauer, who had been told to mark Charlton, so that they largely cancelled each other out. But the battle between the two best players on the pitch was pivotal to the game’s outcome, as Beckenbauer acknowledged years later: “England beat us in 1966 because Bobby Charlton was just a bit better than me.” Ramsey declared that Charlton was “very much the linchpin of the 1966 team”, and he was voted player of the tournament. He ended the season not only as a world champion but as Footballer of the Year and European Footballer of the Year, too.

There was to be one last World Cup hurrah, in Mexico in 1970. He was 32 by then and, although he was still perhaps England’s best player, in the quarter-final, again against West Germany, with England winning 2-1, Ramsey controversially substituted Charlton to conserve his energy for what seemed like a certain semi-final. But the Germans came back to win 3-2 and England were out. It was Charlton’s record 106th cap – the game in which he passed Billy Wright’s tally, and a record that stood until passed by Rooney in 2015 – and his last, an unsatisfactory end to a glittering international career.

His halcyon days with England coincided with Manchester United’s post-Munich renaissance. By the mid-1960s Busby had built his second great team, Charlton now at the heart of it, playing as an attacking midfielder. The line-up included the Northern Irishman George Best and the Scot Denis Law, who together with Charlton formed a dazzling forward line that reignited the legend of the Busby Babes. They were brilliant individuals (in the space of five years, all three were named European Player of the Year) and together helped United win the FA Cup in 1963 and the league title in 1964-65 and 1966-67.

Ten years after the Munich disaster, United finally realised Busby’s dream of playing in a European Cup final, against the Portuguese club Benfica. United won 4-1 at Wembley, with Charlton scoring twice and lifting the cup as captain. For him and Bill Foulkes, the only two crash survivors in the team, and for Busby, it was an overwhelming evening. After the match, while the rest of the team celebrated, Charlton was so exhausted that he could not get off his hotel bed to go downstairs and join the party. Busby retired as manager a year later, and United went into slow decline, though Charlton played on until 1973.

With his playing career over, he felt uncertain about what to do next, and simply waited for the phone to ring. It was three weeks before it did, and he accepted the first offer that came his way, to manage Second Division Preston North End. The club were relegated in his first season in charge, and he resigned the next. It was a chastening experience after so many illustrious years as a player, and he never returned to full-time management.

He had more success in the media, working as a BBC football pundit, and in 1978 he also set up the innovative Bobby Charlton Soccer Schools, which provided top-level coaching to young players. In 1984 he returned to Manchester United as a director. He developed a close bond with the United manager Alex Ferguson, and his diplomacy and peerless standing in the game made him the perfect ambassador for the club as it developed into a global sporting brand in the 90s. Such qualities were not lost on other sporting bodies, and Charlton, who was knighted in 1994, was an automatic choice for the teams bidding to win the 1996 and 2000 Olympic Games and the 2002 Commonwealth Games for Manchester, the 2006 and 2018 World Cups for England, and London’s successful pitch for the 2012 Olympic Games.

He is survived by Norma and their daughters, Suzanne, a former BBC weather presenter, and Andrea.

• Robert Charlton, footballer, born 11 October 1937; died 21 October 2023