It was tense, it was physical, it was loaded with drama and storylines and that was before the momentum in this Premier League title-shaper had swung again – away from Arsenal just before half-time. Mikel Arteta’s team had recovered from an initial storm that featured Erling Haaland putting Manchester City in front with his 100th goal for them – in only his 105th appearance.

Riccardo Calafiori’s long-range equaliser on his full Arsenal debut was a thing of beauty, City raging over the whys and wherefores of a quickly taken free-kick by Thomas Partey in the buildup and the ­visitors felt the surge of possibility when Gabriel Magalhães headed them in front, from a set piece, of course. No team does them quite like Arsenal these days.

Related: ‘I’ve seen it, it’s obvious’: Arteta seethes at referee’s treatment of Arsenal

Now the lines of the contest were redrawn once more. We were into the seventh minute of first-half ­stoppage time and Leandro ­Trossard, already on a booking, had fouled ­Bernardo Silva. But what was this? Trossard was shown a second yellow card for, it turned out, blasting the ball away.

It was a letter-of-the-law decision, one to recall Declan Rice’s offence for his second caution in Arsenal’s 1-1 home draw against Brighton at the end of August, albeit Trossard really cleared his lines this time. Arsenal had been bitten but they were not shy – or wiser.

So we entered a high-stakes game of City’s attack v Arsenal’s defence. For the duration of the second half, Arsenal kept their 10 men ­resolutely behind the ball. It was difficult to remember them crossing the ­halfway line. But it was only about them ­withstanding the pressure. If that took in the dark arts – time-wasting, players going to ground with cramp – then so be it.

Could the meanest defence in ­England preserve the slender ­advantage? Until the very end, the answer looked like being yes. For all of City’s territorial dominance, they only really created three big moments and, on each occasion, David Raya saved. He kept out a Haaland header and two rockets from Josko Gvardiol.

Then came the sting. The ­additional seven minutes were up when City worked a short corner; one substitute, Jack Grealish, teeing up another, Mateo Kovacic, whose shot was blocked. Enter yet another City replacement, John Stones, to force the rebound home, save City and shape a post-match inquest that was always likely to be long and loud.

It was the day when the rivalry between the clubs exploded, the tone of aggression having been set within seconds when Kai Havertz barged into Rodri moments after kick-off. His team responded as though affronted. Ilkay Gündogan might have scored after taking a pass from Silva only to volley wildly; then City did take control.

The move for the breakthrough was sparked when Savinho took a ball from Kyle Walker and sliced inside and away from Calafiori. The winger saw the space open up between Gabriel and William Saliba – a rare spot – and the weight of the release for Haaland was perfect. Once Haaland had got his body in front of Gabriel, it was a done deal.

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City were rampant, Gündogan bending a free-kick on 14 minutes against Raya’s post and the Arsenal equaliser was a bolt from the blue. City had lost Rodri; he was checked again, this time by Partey on a corner and he seemed to jar his knee.

The passions were swirling when Arsenal won a free-kick in the middle of the field and the referee, Michael Oliver, called over the captains, Walker and Bukayo Saka, to appeal for calm. That certainly did not happen.

City were plainly not ready for Partey to sweep the quick ­free-kick up the inside left channel for Gabriel Martinelli; Walker was out of ­position. But Oliver let it go and the ­repercussions would be seismic. ­Martinelli went back to Calafiori and what a moment it was for the ­Italian, his curled finish from ­distance ­picking out the far top corner. Guardiola raged on the touchline, although maybe a part of it was he knew his players had to organise themselves better.

The tide turned sharply. Gabriel headed off target when unmarked on a corner and, after Trossard had lifted high following a Martinelli cutback, Gabriel did find the net on another corner. He ran off Walker and, with Ederson hemmed in, the conversion was straightforward.

Related: Manchester City v Arsenal: Premier League – live

It felt, initially, as though Trossard was shown the second yellow card for the barge into the back of Silva, which would have been harsh. His actual crime was the hammering of the ball up and away as Arsenal ­prepared to defend the free-kick. Call it a rush of blood. Trossard, whose first caution had been for pulling back Savinho, did not want to leave the field. Arsenal were stunned, partly because City’s Jérémy Doku had escaped a booking earlier for kicking the ball away.

Arteta’s team were accused of parking the bus here in last season’s 0-0 draw. Now, as the second half kicked off, Ben White on for Saka, the formation was 5-4-0; White as the right-sided centre-half, Jurriën Timber outside of him. City tried to find a way through and, for long spells, it looked as though they had run out of ideas.

There were hopeful shots from distance and how the home crowd howled as, beginning with Raya in the 64th minute, a succession of Arsenal players went to ground, signalling that they needed treatment. When Timber did so in the 89th minute, the physio was on like a flash.

Arsenal would be breached at the very last, the emotions spilling over, one final melee between the ­players forming, although Arteta would take plenty of positives. City’s 100% record in the league has gone. In the heat of the moment, it almost felt like another victory.