Reviving the Premier League players you forgot existed…

These days West Ham United are all about looking forward, rather than back. But there is one former Hammer who is particularly indebted to their past - right back where it began in 1895. Because were it not for the club’s centenary tour to Australia in May 1995, 100 hundred years after their formation as Thames Ironworks FC, the wider football world may never have encountered Stanley Lazaridis.

It’s not entirely clear why the Irons found themselves Down Under that summer, other than the fact manager Harry Redknapp probably thought it would be a nice holiday. He just had to mumble something to the club hierarchy about some potentially lucrative wheeler-dealing in the “emerging Antipodean market” and the flights were booked.

The Hammers squad had a right old time of it by all accounts, spending most of their leisure time working out why Australians didn’t give a Castlemaine XXXX for anything else, and they also managed to fit in a spot of football.

So perhaps Redknapp’s regular right-back Tim Breacker wasn’t at his ebullient best when he came up against a stocky, hungry, electrifyingly quick left-winger in the first friendly of the tour against West Adelaide.

As one Hammers fan who found himself in Perth that day recalled, “Stan played left wing and absolutely ran the show. Every time he got the ball it looked like he was going to score and it didn’t take him long to run half the length of the pitch and slot one in the corner. He came off at half-time to a standing ovation.”

Just like Lazaridis, the Hammers moved fast - quickly tying up a deal to bring the 22-year-old to east London for £300,000. But despite the winger’s promising displays in pre-season, he was by no means the finished article.

His full debut against Everton at Upton Park started inauspiciously when he conceded possession and allowed the Toffees to score. He waved a sheepish apology to the home crowd, who responded with sympathetic applause.

This genuinely heart-warming moment set the tone for the player’s relationship with English fans, built on honesty, hard work and mutual respect. In the second half, Lazaridis won the penalty that earned the Hammers a 2-1 victory. The player’s potential was clear, although he remained extremely raw.

“When the ball came to him on the touchline it was genuinely 50/50 whether he would control it or whether it would go out of play. Definitely had something about him mind, and on his day was superb,” said another fan on the West Ham Online forum.

One word to describe Lazaridis’ style would be ‘unorthodox’.

“He seemed to have very long legs and a very short torso,” said one fan, while another commented that he had a “weird posture”. The Australian’s lack of a visible neck added to his slightly unusual appearance. (When the Hammers signed Andy Impey a couple of years later, they became the first team in history to employ a pair of neckless wing-backs - a feat never since repeated.)

Both players were on the field for Lazaridis’ finest moment in a Hammers shirt - a 30-yard thunderbolt in a 1-0 victory at Newcastle.

The strike inspired a chant with the lyrics, “Goal of the season, Stan Lazaridis” to the tune of Macarena, if you can imagine such a thing.

“I loved him when he was on form. He use to push the ball inside, puff his chest out and go on these lung-bursting runs from inside his own half. He also had a great ability to get in a cross no matter what angle he was facing,” eulogised one Hammer.

But despite his popularity, the player the fans nicknamed “Skippy” was in and out of the side during his four years at Upton Park, and in 1999 he dropped down a division, with Birmingham paying £1.7m for his services. It proved to be an astute move from both parties.

On his Blues debut against Fulham, Lazaridis slammed home a glorious free-kick, and a love affair was born.

“One of the best players to grace our hallowed turf,” said one City fan on the Small Heath Alliance forum. “He was great to watch, a proper old-fashioned winger,” added another. “He created a palpable buzz around the stadium when he picked the ball up and ran at people,” gushed another.

After three seasons in the Midlands, Lazaridis made it back into the Premiership - his emphatic penalty at the Millennium Stadium helping the Blues win a play-off final against Norwich in a shootout. And this time, Stan would be a regular starter in the top flight.

He picked a rather good time to score his first Premiership goal for the Blues - a header against arch-rivals Aston Villa that sealed a famous 2-0 victory at Villa Park.

He also scored a cracker against Everton, described by one attendee thus, “Stan picks the ball up and just starts running down the park, going wider and wider as he passes each player. Just when I thought he’d gone too far he cracks a left-foot pearler from an impossible angle across the goal and sends St Andrews into meltdown.”

Lazaridis was loved at Birmingham not just for his trademark dribbles, but also for his humanity.

It’s said that he once played a match immediately before the birth of his child, and ran off the pitch at full-time before arriving at the hospital still in his full kit.

Then there was the time a group of fans were introduced to him after a match at St Andrews - and he promptly invited them all round to his house in Solihull for a barbecue. On his birthday!

“Lovely bloke. Decent player. No neck,” summarised one City fan succinctly.

After seven seasons and 215 appearances for the Blues, and 12 years after that West Ham centenary tour, Lazaridis returned home to Australia with Perth Glory. His career ended abruptly when he was given a 12-month suspension for using an alopecia medication that he didn’t know was banned, and he didn’t bother playing again. On the plus side, he does still have a fine head of hair.

@darlingkevin

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