Dwarf tossing, hand-picked girls, sex toys and strippers.... when Christmas parties go horribly wrong!

This is the week. Footballers across the land are allowed off the leash for one night only. They’re always determined to make it a good one. Well, those that are still allowed.

Anyone who has ever witnessed a club Christmas party will be well aware el vino does flow!

But, as surprising as this may seem with a room full of cultured professionals, on occasion it has been claimed manners and politeness have been misplaced. Etiquette can be in short supply.

READ MORE: Zanka Claus is here – Star will buy every fan a beer this weekend

READ MORE: Football legends who hung up their boots in 2017

Indeed, a celebration at this time of the year can – from time to time – get rather out of hand.

Although we’ve seen Scrooges clamp down on festive fun and games in recent years, we’ve got plenty of players disgrace themselves to last us for a lifetime.

Here are some of the very best and worst of the drunken behaviour we’ve ever seen when Christmas parties go horribly wrong.

Joey Barton

Despite self-held opinion that our Joey is now a man of the people thanks to his ability to cut and paste Shakespeare quotes into twitter, it may be worth remembering he used an apprentice as an ashtray back in 2004.

Allegedly putting a cigar out in Jamie Tandy’s eye at the Manchester City shindig whilst wearing a Jimmy Savile costume. Where to start?

Steven Caulker

It was back in 2014 that the last Christmas party offering came our way. Queens Park Rangers’ overpaid players were for some reason out toasting a terrible year.

A massive fight left Caulker with blood pouring all over the bar but the biggest shock came later. It was revealed Joey Barton acted as peacemaker.

Dennis Wise and Robbie Savage

These two didn’t get on, so when Wise drew Sav in the Secret Santa, tension starting to rise as he unwrapped a teddy bear impaled on a sex toy.

With a message saying the Welshman was “the only prick in Leicester” things then got heated. The Foxes’ scrapped and it all got a bit tasty.

Hayden Foxe

When you unzip your jeans and urinate over a bar on your team night out, it’s probably best for all concerned that you call it a night.

Flame-haired Aussie Hayden Foxe clearly mistook the Sugar Reef beer taps for a urinal during West Ham’s infamous nightclub get together in 2001 – and claimed, of course, it was “blown out of all proportion”.

Vinnie Jones

Where there’s trouble, one of football’s famous hardmen is rarely far behind. When at Chelsea in 1994, there was a rather unusual party game proposed…. Dwarf tossing.

“The idea was to pick up a dwarf and hurl him as far as you could,” said Blues striker Tony Cascarino. “I had a go, but I can’t remember how I did. They were heavier than I expected.”

Jamie Carragher

The Liverpool legend reportedly arranged for some strippers to attend the Reds function and after getting handy with a bottle of whipped cream while dressed as the Hunchback of Notre Dame, the plug was quickly pulled – and the rest of the squad weren’t overly impressed!

Neil Ruddock and Trevor Sinclair

The West Ham pair ended up in court in 2008 after being charged with affray. Neil ‘Razor’ Ruddock is said to enjoy the occasional beverage but it went too far when he and Sinclair were accused of lobbing a bottle of beer at a woman’s Mini Cooper. Ruddock was cleared and Sinclair was fined.

Manchester United

The year of 2007 will always be remembered as the year when Fergie cancelled Christmas. The Great John Street bash – organised by Rio Ferdinand – saw WAGs banned… but mysteriously 80 women reportedly hand-picked turned up to make up the numbers. One told the papers it was a “horrendous cattle market” – and that was that said the United boss.