Ask anyone in Madrid and they’ll tell you that Gareth Bale is yesterday’s news. He’s like Pokemon Go or the Black Eyed Peas or Yanis Varoufakis. No one cares anyone. These days, it’s all about Marco Asensio. And Manchester United are finally getting with the programme.

After spending several years trying to sign Bale, United have recently been continuing this endless pursuit almost out of habit, despite the Welshman’s persistent injury woes.

But United’s transfer guru Ed Woodward appears to have belatedly realised that Real Madrid have another forward who is younger, fitter and possibly better. The Mirror claims United are set to ditch their pursuit of the 28-year-old Bale to target the 21-year-old Asensio in January instead.

The key word in the paragraph above, however, is “belatedly”. Asensio signed a new Bernabeu contract just two months ago, including a slightly prohibitive £442m release clause.

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Bale, meanwhile, could be going back to Tottenham anyway. The Express reports that the forward could make a “stunning return” to north London after Spurs manager Mauricio Pochettino revealed the former White Hart Lane favourite “still speaks to staff” at the club.

Depending on which way you look at it, this could either mean that Bale has been secretly plotting a big-money move back to Spurs, or just that he has friends there.

Courtois linked with Chelsea exit

Another player who could be going “home” – but in the opposite direction – is Chelsea goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois.

The Belgian has admitted he could leave Stamford Bridge to return to Madrid, where his two children live, reports the Sun.

Courtois spent three seasons playing for Atletico Madrid before breaking into the Blues team, but this time it appears that Real could be a more likely destination. Los Blancos regard Courtois as an ideal back-up option if they can’t get David de Gea from Man Utd, which must make him feel really wanted.

Meanwhile, alleged Arsenal target Steven Nzonzi has been left out of Sevilla’s squad to face Real Madrid this weekend as speculation intensifies about his future (Metro).

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The 28-year-old Frenchman is rumoured to be keen on a move to the Premier League, evidently feeling that his spells at Blackburn and Stoke didn’t do justice to “the world’s greatest league”. Must feel like going on holiday to Las Vegas and spending the whole trip playing Chris Tarrant’s ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’ on a pub quiz machine.

Elsewhere, Italian champions Juventus are keen on Arsenal defender Shkodran Mustafi (Mirror), Tottenham are interested in 20-year-old PSV Eindhoven winger Steven Bergwijn (Sun) and West Ham chairman David Sullivan has claimed that former Hammers boss Sam Allardyce once turned down the chance to sign Romelu Lukaku from Chelsea for £10m (Guardian). Quite right too – who needs Lukaku when you’ve got big Andy Carroll up front?