Reviving the Premier League players you forgot (or tried to forget) existed…

The kids wouldn’t believe you now, but there was a time – not so long ago – when the phrase “Belgian international ” was a stamp of mediocrity rather than distinction. A time when World Cup failure was standard rather than catastrophic. When Belgians could only dream of attracting a manager of the calibre of Roberto Martinez. When the most dangerous striker in the country was Emile Mpenza.

The dreadlocked frontman probably wouldn’t even displace Christian Benteke in the current “golden generation” squad, but in the mid-2000s he was Belgium’s biggest deal outside Jean-Claude Van Damme. And as luck would have it, his pomp coincided with an era when Manchester City were also going through a rather average period.

Stuart Pearce’s City forward line of Bernardo Corradi, Georgios Samaras and Darius Vassell was failing to cut the mustard in the 2006/07 season, leaving the club perilously close to the relegation zone.

Compared to that lot, Mpenza looked like a superstar, even if the former Standard Liege and Schalke goal machine had soured his reputation somewhat with a surprise move to Qatari club Al-Rayyan a year earlier.

Pearce was not in a position to quibble about such matters, and he brought the 28-year-old to England on a free transfer in February 2007 to aid his side’s survival battle. Psycho had caught Mpenza, quite fortuitously as it turned out, at an angry moment.

“I am not finished and I will prove it in Manchester. I make this move as revenge, with respect to all those who criticised my decision to play in Qatar,” the striker declared on arrival.

It was the unfortunate people of Middlesbrough who ended up on the receiving end of this fury, as Mpenza marked his first City start with a clinical finish in a 2-0 win on Teesside.

The following week, City were back in the north-east and Mpenza repeated the trick – scoring the decisive goal in a 1-0 victory at Newcastle, leaving Pearce’s side as good as safe.

For those two goals alone, Mpenza retains hero status in the blue half of Manchester.

“He wanted to prove he wasn’t finished and quite possibly saw keeping us up as a big two fingers to the pundits in his home nation and Germany. I loved him, still do,” commented one fan on the Blue Moon forum.

“Those goals single-handedly kept us up. He wasn’t the greatest striker but he was one who put in 110%,” said another.

Mpenza’s impact that season was crucial, but in hindsight it seems especially important. The club changed ownership that spring, kickstarting the process that would culminate in Sheikh Mansour’s riches transforming the club forever. It’s hard to imagine that chain of events playing out the same way if City had been in the Championship.

“Mpenza’s goals were arguably some of the most important in the club’s recent history,” concluded one supporter.

But although he had prevented City sliding into the second tier, Mpenza couldn’t save himself from that fate.

After scoring just twice in an injury-hit second season at Eastlands under new manager Sven-Goran Eriksson, Mpenza was released and snapped up by Plymouth Argyle – much to the excitement of their fans.

“This was a guy who had played in the Champions League so to have him playing down at Home Park was amazing,” commented Pilgrims supporter Dan Monk.

Unfortunately, injuries restricted Mpenza to just two starts – and two goals – for the club. Even then some view him as the most talented player in Pilgrims history, but on wages of £10,000 a week (exorbitant by Argyle standards) he was an expensive luxury they couldn’t afford.

“He is considered one of our most disappointing signings, but in the few games he did play he was a cut above and most probably the best striker I’ve ever seen wear green,” said another Plymouth fan on the Pasoti forum.

Mpenza had successful spells in Switzerland and Azerbaijan after leaving Devon, eventually retiring in 2014, but all of that pales into insignificance compared to what happened next.

In September of last year, former Plymouth manager Paul Sturrock published an autobiography in which he accused Mpenza of making various “excuses” for injury absences, the most memorable of which was revealed in one immortal sentence.

Sturrock wrote, “I was told, in all seriousness, that Emile had taken Viagra the previous night and still had an erection and wouldn’t be able to take part in training.”

Mpenza was subsequently said to be taking legal action over the comment, but at this stage he’ll have a hard time being remembered for anything else.

Follow @darlingkevin on Twitter

READ MORE

No.1: Hassan Kachloul
No.2: Joe-Max Moore
No.3: Titi Camara
No.4: Regi Blinker
No.5: Hamilton Ricard
No.6: Shaun Bartlett
No.7: Roque Junior
No.8: Stefan Schwarz
No.9: Andy Impey
No.10: Magnus Hedman
No.11: Danny Tiatto
No.12: Dejan Stefanovic
No.13: Darren Eadie
No.14: Facundo Sava
No.15: Alpay
No.16: Jostein Flo
No.17: Per Frandsen
No.18: Geoff Horsfield
No.19: Aki Riihilahti
No.20: Temuri Ketsbaia
No.21: Willem Korsten
No.22: Nordin Wooter
No.23: Samassi Abou
No.24: Jason Lee
No.25: David Lee
No.26: Finidi George
No.27: Paul Warhurst
No.28: Henri Camara
No.29: Francis Benali
No.30: Daniel Amokachi
No.31: Emerson
No.32: Igor Biscan
No.33: Bruno Ribeiro
No.34: Kiki Musampa
No.35: Horacio Carbonari
No.36: Karl Ready
No.37: The Zenith Data Systems Cup
No.38: John Jensen
No.38: Karel Poborsky
No.39: Paul Bosvelt
No.40: Stelios Giannakopoulos
No 41: Ulises de la Cruz
No 42: Cobi Jones
No.43: Jose Dominguez
No.44: Barry Hayles
No.45: Marc Hottiger
No.46: Alan Kimble
No.47: Stan Lazaridis
No.48: Radostin Kishishev
No.49: Tony Yeboah
No.50: Bryan Roy
No.51: Corrado Grabbi
No.52: Chris Kiwomya
No.53: Frank Sinclair
No.54: Jeremy Goss
No.55: Djimi Traore
No.56: Massimo Maccarone
No.57: Francis Jeffers
No.58: Danny Dichio
No.59: Attilio Lombardo
No.60: Marian Pahars
No.61: Eric Djemba-Djemba