5 things... You will be able to watch if Leicester win the league

1 Ranieri: The Movie
Jamie Vardy’s amazing rise from non-league to Premier League was supposed to be as cinematic as it got for Leicester City this season, but the rumoured Hollywood movie about the striker’s life doesn’t feel like it will do justice to this crazy campaign anymore. As Claudio Ranieri has repeatedly pointed out, his team contains 22 heroes. But the biggest of all is surely the manager himself. If Leicester do clinch the title, Hollywood producers will be queuing up to get the silver Fox on the silver screen. The obvious candidate to play Ranieri, due to his age, sex appeal in the housewives’ market and Italian-sounding name, is Robert de Niro, and the obvious title is Raging Ball.

2 The only way is Schlupp
A “scripted reality” show that invites us into the actual life of Jeff Schlupp and follows his glamorous adventures with family and friends in the environs of his East Midlands home. The series will showcase Schlupp’s enviable lifestyle, which mainly involves him driving around in a convertible with his wingman Shinji Okasaki, drinking J2Os in Leicester’s trendiest nightclubs and shouting into strangers’ faces, "I won the Premier League!”. Viewers at home can get involved by running sweepstakes in each episode on how long it will take for the Foxes wideman to unveil his winners’ medal from his manbag and try to impress a girl with it.

3 An Inconvenient Huth
A hard-hitting documentary about the devastating impact that German centre-back Robert Huth has had on the title hopes of Chelsea, Manchester City, Arsenal and Manchester United. Fronted by Al Gore and Jim Rosenthal, this thought-provoking BBC Four piece will expose how the Premier League’s most powerful chairmen idly stood by as Huth lunged at wingers, body-checked forwards and tugged shirts at corners with no consideration for anyone’s futures or their children’s futures. The series will explain how many people didn’t believe in Huth before his summer move to the King Power Stadium - and a few hardline Huth-deniers still think he isn’t that good - but increasing evidence shows that the English football landscape could be changed forever unless he is stopped.

4 Project Drink Water
The government will cynically seek to capitalise on the Foxes’ success by enlisting industrious midfielder Danny Drinkwater to be the face of its sugar tax manifesto. As part of George Osborne’s bid to tackle the UK’s obesity crisis, a price-hike on sugary drinks will be bolstered by the “Drink Water” campaign. Westminster will allay fears about whether a footballer has the political nous to lead such a high-level programme by instructing Drinkwater that he merely needs to turn up at various events across the country, stand at a microphone and state his own surname. He will be advised to never veer off message by saying anything else, but will be given free rein to state his own surname as many times as he likes. For this service he will receive a handsome payment and a lifetime’s supply of Lucozade.

5 Guten Morgan
First it was Richard Judy, then it was Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby. Now step forward the next face of British breakfast TV: Wes Morgan. The Foxes hardman will initially be eased into his new role as a guest host alongside Lorraine Kelly, who will use her skills and experience to guide him to daytime TV glory, much as Ranieri has done this season in football terms. Eventually, Wes will be given his own show ‘Guten Morgan’, where he will be joined on the sofa by soap stars and agony aunts, reading questions to them from his laptop. Even if he appears completely out of his depth, he will still be better than Eamonn Holmes.

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