Very Specific Football Question No.37: Was Quique Sanchez Flores too sexy for English football?

Quique Sanchez Flores always looked somewhat out of place alongside the frumpy middle-aged gorillas he shared touchlines with during his year as an English football manager. With his stylish neckwear, salon-quality hair and fancy trainers, Flores resembled a man who should be cruising through a dimly lit cosmopolitan metropolis in a Lexus advert rather than having a shouting match with Big Sam Allardyce in the rain.

Nevertheless, news that the Spaniard’s tenure as a top-flight boss is over comes as a shock. To most observers, Flores appeared to have done a good job at Watford this season. But the club’s Italian owners, the Pozzo family, evidently thought otherwise. Why?

There are only three viable explanations for Watford dispensing with the services of the 51-year-old tactician (yep, really, 51 - his moisturising regime is par excellence) after just one year at the helm.

The first is that he failed in the objectives he was set at the start of the season.

Given that Flores achieved Premier League safety with several games to spare while leading the Hornets to an FA Cup semi-final - all while spending a fairly modest sum on transfers compared to some of Watford’s rivals - it is possible these objectives were beyond what many had assumed.

Perhaps Flores was told by the unashamedly ambitious Pozzos that Champions League qualification was compulsory, or that he should mould Ben Watson into England’s best player ahead of Euro 2016, or that he should invent a new type of formation in which a goalkeeper was not necessary and goals were increased by 250 per cent. Perhaps, but probably not.

The second explanation is that Watford are intent on revolutionising the traditional approach to appointing football managers. In fact, it’s a process they’ve already started.

The departure of Flores is actually less shocking than that of his predecessor Slavisa Jokanovic, who was fired just a month after leading the club to promotion last summer. That was in a campaign where the club had already parted company with three others bosses - Billy McKinlay, Oscar Garcia and Giuseppe Sannino - despite results being far from disastrous. By these standards, Flores did well to survive as long as he did.

The problem Watford have created for themselves is that this high level of turnover in the manager’s office may put off any future applicants who fancy settling down in Hertfordshire with a bit of long-term job security.

But maybe the Pozzos don’t care. Maybe they believe they have found the ideal solution to complacency, to decay, to failure. By reimagining the manager as a temporary role.

Maybe their ultimate goal is to appoint bosses on a game-by-game basis, a bit like the guest hosts on Have I Got News For You. They could have Michael Laudrup one week, Dave Bassett the next. Maybe even Jeremy Clarkson and Jo Brand could have a go in the Hornets’ hotseat in the early rounds of the league cup. Maybe Watford’s Italian owners are pioneers, whose methods will transform the very notion of the football manager.

It might sound silly, but so far the Pozzos’ methods seem to working pretty well. In two seasons, they’ve achieved promotion and a comfortable Premier League survival.

The third explanation for Flores’ demise is that he was just too damned good-looking for this business.

His immaculate skin, George Clooney-esque stubble and effortless fashion sense was just making everyone else look bad. The fact he was actually getting some decent results made him even more unpalatable. He had to go.

But whatever the reason for his exit, Flores is probably better off without us.

After shaking hands with Allardyce following his final match against Sunderland this weekend, he’ll glide out of Vicarage Road and into his Lexus, leaving a trail of heartbroken girls and jealous men in his wake. By dusk, he’ll be freewheeling along the winding coastal roads of Galicia, Puccini purring from the stereo and his phone vibrating unanswered on the passenger seat.

Whether it’s advertisers trying to sell their aspirational products or European chairmen seeking a new coach, there will be no shortage of offers for Flores this summer.

As for Watford, they may have slightly more trouble finding the next man willing to sacrifice himself to their successful, yet disquietingly unsentimental project.

Follow @darlingkevin on Twitter

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