Jaguars fan cracks conspiracy that's kept team down for 20 years

Conspiracies unravel in the most unlikely of ways. Watergate exploded when a security guard noticed tape on doors. Deflate-gate began when a Colts equipment manager happened to test a ball's pressure on the sidelines during the 2014 season's AFC Championship. And now, in the space of 28 seconds, a random Jacksonville Jaguars fan has just blown the lid off the Greatest Conspiracy In NFL History:

Whoa. Those are some explosive allegations in that News4JAX report. Let's break them down here:

1. The Jacksonville Jaguars had the best draft of anyone this year. Our Frank Schwab concurs, picking the Jaguars as this year's bandwagon team. And our Eric Edholm gave the Jaguars one of the few A's he handed out for this year's draft performance. So far, the theory checks out.

2. "The first year we took it to the limit." Technically, their first year (1995) Jacksonville went 4-12. The next year, though, the Jags reached the AFC Championship, losing to the Patriots 20-6. We're not sure two field goals in a conference championship qualifies as "taking it to the limit," but hey, two decades is a long time to keep memories accurate. We're still on firm footing.

3. "I was in Miami with my new beach house ... well, it was a couple minutes from the beach ... " Let's not quibble with our anonymous tipster over details. If you stretch the definition enough, isn't any property beach property? ("Hey, it's just a plane flight and a two-hour drive to the water ... you can almost hear the surf!") Also, the whole idea of conspiracies and Miami and limits and whatnot demands a little musical accompaniment. Play this for the rest of the article:

4. "We haven't been too strong in the last few years." The Carolina Panthers, Jacksonville's fellow expansion team in the mid-1990s, won 15 games last year. Jacksonville has won 15 games over the last four seasons. "We haven't been too strong" is probably overly generous.

5. "Oh, we've been strong, we've just been playing by the rules." WHOA. This is it. This is it right here, friends. This is where our mystery tipster, who will have to hole up in her Miami beach house that's a couple minutes from the beach for her own safety, blows the lid off this whole fetid, stinking, cheat-ridden enterprise that is the NFL. Other teams get 10 points for every touchdown, but Jacksonville? They take their requisite seven. Other teams only have to go five yards for every first down, but Jacksonville says, "No sir. Ten yards is the rule, 10 yards it will be." Other teams suit up actual grizzly bears on their defensive line, but Jacksonville sticks with its usual cast of terrified human beings. That's what people around Duval County, Florida call integrity, son.

6. "You can't have a newcomer come in and steal the show." Oh my God. She's on to something. Look at the last few Super Bowl winners. Denver: in the NFL since 1970. New England: in the NFL since 1970. Seattle: in the NFL since 1976. Baltimore: in the NFL since 20- wait, no, that's perfect, you want to have one newcomer in there to throw people off the trail. Plus, the NFL rigged that game with the blown-out lights too! And look what happened to fellow sort-of-newcomer Carolina this year! You expect me to believe the Cam Newton that dominated the league all year long is the same Cam Newton who was scared to even dive on a fumble in the Super Bowl? They replaced the real Cam with a far less competent duplicate! No wonder Newton was so upset postgame, he didn't even get a chance to play! It all makes sense!

Our eyes are wide open now, NFL. We know the truth. Anything less than a Jacksonville Jaguars championship this season, and you may as well tell the world you're as rigged as the presidential electio - wait, I wasn't supposed to say that yet, was I?

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Jay Busbee is a writer for Yahoo Sports and the author of EARNHARDT NATION. Contact him at jay.busbee@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter or on Facebook.