31 of the funniest old player tweets
There to be broken
@piersmorgan I would Nicebutdim but I'm not allowed to bet on football due to new Premier League rules!
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) October 20, 2014
Wayne's Holiday
Mr bean. Funny
— Wayne Rooney (@WayneRooney) July 27, 2012
Big day in
Off 2day so gna download some songs hav a look at a bet for 2nyt stock up on irn bru order dominos for tea! Carlsberg cldnt make that day up
— steven fletcher (@stevenfletch10) November 23, 2011
Below expectations
@SUFCRootsHall We get it,you beat us in a semi-final. Now if u don't mind we need to get back to our promotion challenge to the Championship
— Leyton Orient (@leytonorientfc) February 5, 2014
It was abad day
Not agood day for me i was strangling with a dead leg
— Victor Wanyama (@VictorWanyama) September 1, 2012
Fin-Alli it's home time
School went so quick today:)
— Dele (@Dele_Alli) April 23, 2012
Will who?
Oosh! #banterbus @JakeBugg @willhughes44 pic.twitter.com/1XipQhPu
— Brad Pinard (@Brad_Pinard) December 20, 2012
— Jake Bugg (@JakeBugg) December 20, 2012
Flick the ste-Rio on
Hi rio do u want picking up in the morning pal
— Wayne Rooney (@WayneRooney) April 23, 2011
Good Parenting pt.XI
I swear if I catch my son dancing behind a reporter on sky like these kids are I'm gonna 2 foot him.
— Ben Foster (@BenFoster) September 2, 2013
You should have asked
@DWindass10 ye ime fine thanks
— Dean Windass (@DWindass10) April 19, 2014
Never too late to say sorry
Neymar is the Justin Bieber of football. Brilliant on the old You Tube. Cat piss in reality...
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 25, 2013
Ooo-aaarrrr
Wow. Just got a surprise delivery from #ambrosia custard. Check out my personalised tin ! pic.twitter.com/cAyG95F8d5
— Jermain Defoe (@IAmJermainDefoe) August 22, 2014
Ugly truths
@JonWalters19 Mrs Walters doesn't think so
— robert huth (@robert_huth) March 16, 2015
Hope the film wasn't as boring
Hi. Today we had a game against the junior team. I scored two goals. Now at home watching a movie. bye
— Philipe Coutinho (@Phil_Coutinho) September 3, 2011
Strictly no dancing
This Strictly Come Dancing show is a joke. Far too much touchy feely stuff from married men / women. Instant divorce material in my eyes!!!
— michael owen (@themichaelowen) October 5, 2013
Eggsplain this Wayne?
@piersmorgan shut up u egg and get out of cowells hole. Won't tell u again.
— Wayne Rooney (@WayneRooney) June 23, 2011
Can you spur any change?
I will never forget when levy came to sign me from Roma and we had to travel back on EasyJet flight!! #coys
— Mido (@midoahm) July 27, 2013
Fan boy
Happy Birthday @ollyofficial ! pic.twitter.com/eWvcVbKFRW
— Toni Kroos (@ToniKroos) May 14, 2015
Getting to grips
What is an RT?
— Jens Lehmann (@jenslehmann) August 13, 2012
Ooooo!
Shut up. https://t.co/e4ZBjf8Ijl
— Jamie Carragher (@Carra23) December 12, 2016
Cooking with Vic
I had spaghetti and it was very nice i enjoyed it
— Victor Wanyama (@VictorWanyama) May 7, 2012
I will always love you
Whitney has passed away. RIP u will live on forever. Cant believe it. I wanna run to u. Really cant believe this. @
— Wayne Rooney (@WayneRooney) February 12, 2012
The Oracle
Can't believe Leicester appointed Ranieri ... Great club, great fanbase but I'm afraid MK rather than Old Trafford season after next.
— Didi Hamann (@DietmarHamann) July 13, 2015
... yet
@GaryMurg We might be crap. We may well be really over rated but at least we don't have to live in Burnley!
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) May 4, 2014
With a cherry tomato on top
#tryit&tellme Take a tomato and put sugar on it. Taste it if you never tried. It taste like strawberry.
— Louis Saha (@louissaha08) August 15, 2013
Brotherly love
@fizzer18 Smokescreen that. I thought it was Ray Parlour causing us all the problems . He got the pen in 99 semi. Who brought him down!!
— Gary Neville (@GNev2) May 8, 2011
Victor-y for Anichebe's PR team
"Can you put something like!"
What a result!!! Strong character from the team, and the fans were amazing!! #SAFC pic.twitter.com/glFHIDPNpo
— Victor Anichebe (@VictorAnichebe) November 5, 2016
Opinions with Eric
Good 2-0 win to finish of the season, aresnal players all the same #wingebags
— Eric Dier (@ericdier) May 2, 2012
Lullaby
@WayneRooney I'll put u asleep within 10 seconds u little girl. Don't say stuff and not follow up on it. I'll be waiting
— Wayne Rooney (@WayneRooney) May 17, 2011
Two's company
@MattAbbott_ @Saamlawrie Phil did.
— Jamie Carragher (@Carra23) August 27, 2014
Yeah, authorities
Players who roll around when nobody touches them should be subsequently banned. I hate cheats. Authorities should address it.
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) February 3, 2013