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What absolutely will happen in the Premier League this weekend as mystery surrounds Mahrez

Adam Hurrey
It could be a big weekend for these three in the Premier League.
It could be a big weekend for these three in the Premier League.

This column might have had a mixed time of it last weekend – thanks to Watford, mainly – but the forecast of Liverpool’s thrilling 2-2 draw with Tottenham saved its bacon in dramatic style.

Spurs are again the headliners this weekend, as they welcome Arsenal to Wembley for the north London derby – and we’re as confident as they are…

Tottenham v Arsenal

Put your mortgage on…

Arsenal being reminded of their current place in the pecking order. For all the promise of the early glimpses of Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, Arsene Wenger’s back five (now with 100% added Ospina) always has a game-changing mistake in there. Harry Kane eats those for breakfast.

The match, according to Ceefax…

Could this be how the game pans out?
Could this be how the game pans out?

Retro indulgence

“Five-four is a hockey score, not a football score. In a three-against-three training match, if the score reaches 5-4 I send the players back to the dressing rooms as they are not defending properly. So to get a result like that in a game of 11 against 11 is disgraceful.”

Not my words, reader, the words of Jose Mourinho, who watched Tottenham and Arsenal share nine goals at White Hart Lane back in 2005, while his Chelsea side marched ruthlessly to the title. We’ll take another hockey score this time, Jose…

Everton v Crystal Palace

Put your mortgage on…

A tense but completed handshake between the two managers. Sam Allardyce is yet to personally apologise to Roy Hodgson for mocking his speech in that infamous pint-of-wine, hidden-camera sting in 2016.

The Crystal Palace manager (that’s Hodgson, by the way, I know it’s hard to keep up with these things) does not sound like he’s happy to let bygones be bygones.

“Do you like being insulted? No, not particularly. Did it bother me? I didn’t lose any sleep over it. My relationship with him before I always thought was good. Now I would expect it to be less good.”

The match, according to Ceefax…

Could this be how the game pans out?
Could this be how the game pans out?

Retro indulgence

August 1997: Crystal Palace come to town for the start of Howard Kendall’s third spell in charge of Everton…and Attilio Lombardo spoils the party.

Stoke v Brighton

Put your mortgage on…

A low-scoring draw. Brighton’s away record is far from impressive, and they find goals even harder to come by on the road. Meanwhile, Stoke’s last three home games have featured two goals or fewer. In summary: don’t expect a classic.

The match, according to Ceefax…

Could this be how the game pans out?
Could this be how the game pans out?

Retro indulgence

April 2006: Stoke visit Brighton, years before they moved into the shiny Amex Stadium, and dish out a 5-1 hammering, with a hat-trick from Adam Rooney. Remember the name? Nope.

Swansea v Burnley

Put your mortgage on…

Swansea to blow open the farce that is the Premier League mid-table. Having elevated themselves from relegation near-certainties to 17th in what felt like a matter of days, Carlos Carvalhal’s revitalised Swans could move within nine points of Sean Dyche’s Burnley success story if they win at the Liberty Stadium.

Underneath the glamour of the top six, it really is a free-for-all.

The match, according to Ceefax…

Could this be how the game pans out?
Could this be how the game pans out?

Most likely headline in the morning papers

SWANS ATTACK, CLARET EVERYWHERE

West Ham v Watford

Put your mortgage on…

Gerard Deulofeu to be the difference. Even if his career desperately needs a permanent home, the 23-year-old’s Watford debut demonstrated how nice it is to have his dancing feet back in the Premier League. He walked through the Chelsea defence – what could he do to West Ham’s?

The match, according to Ceefax…

Could this be how the game pans out?
Could this be how the game pans out?

Most likely headline in the morning papers

HOME BLUNDER OF THE HAMMERS

Manchester City v Leicester

Put your mortgage on…

Riyad Mahrez to make a timely return from the cold. Reports on Friday suggested that the AWOL Algerian, still smarting from Leicester’s refusal to budge from their asking price of £95m on deadline day, will return to Claude Puel’s squad for the trip to the Etihad.

Cue the “penny for his thoughts” standard as Mahrez sits glumly on the bench.

The match, according to Ceefax…

Could this be how the game pans out?
Could this be how the game pans out?

Retro indulgence

November 2000: Robbie Savage – a man who never had to worry about a £95m price tag being put on his head – decides things at Maine Road back in 2000, and celebrates like a man who has never scored a goal in his life.

Huddersfield v Bournemouth

Put your mortgage on…

Bournemouth consolidating their mid-table safety. Just as it seemed the Eddie Howe Project had run its course, the Cherries are unbeaten in six – with wins over Everton, Arsenal and Chelsea – and lie in the relative luxury of ninth. Huddersfield, meanwhile, are going the other way – fast.

READ MORE: Why Palace are still in serious trouble

READ MORE: Woodward winning United power struggle

The match, according to Ceefax…

Could this be how the game pans out?
Could this be how the game pans out?

Retro indulgence

A playoff semi-final barnstormer from 2011 – as these two tried to scrap their way out of League One – which eventually goes to the dreaded penalty shootout…

Newcastle v Manchester United

Put your mortgage on…

Mourinho to restore Paul Pogba to his midfield, having left him in no doubt about his duties. Pogba was hauled off in the recent defeat to Spurs, and then “rested” for the win over Huddersfield, but there was little chance of this turning into a saga.

The match, according to Ceefax…

Could this be how the game pans out?
Could this be how the game pans out?

Retro indulgence

18 years ago, almost to the day, Newcastle wipe the floor with Manchester United, thanks to Duncan Ferguson’s wonder strike and two goals from Alan Shearer.

Southampton v Liverpool

Put your mortgage on…

A fired up Adam Lallana, apparently. An injury-hit season for the World Cup hopeful was livened up earlier this week when he took exception to an aerial challenge in a reserve game:

Lallana’s return is much needed, too: at this rate, there will be only three ex-Southampton players in the Liverpool side on Sunday.

READ MORE: I nearly left PSG for Barcelona reveals Di Maria

READ MORE: Gossip – Blow for Mahrez as City look at Dybala

The match, according to Ceefax…

Could this be how the game pans out?
Could this be how the game pans out?

Retro indulgence

Seven players, 14 passes, 23 touches: Southampton score one of the most beautiful team goals the top flight has ever seen against Liverpool back in 1981/82, with Kevin keegan right at the heart of it.

Chelsea v West Brom

Put your mortgage on…

Antonio Conte to survive The West Brom Curse…just. For some reason, games against them have been the final straw for a handful of Premier League managers in recent years – Chelsea’s Andre Villas-Boas and Roberto Di Matteo among them – but things haven’t got quite that bad at Stamford Bridge yet.

Chelsea will surely regroup after their chastening defeats to Bournemouth and Watford, but another show of Monday-night misery could still mean that the Baggies equal the sack.

The match, according to Ceefax…

Could this be how the game pans out?
Could this be how the game pans out?

Retro indulgence

Remember when Chelsea were almost impregnable at Stamford Bridge? Roman Abramovich probably does. Here they are using West Brom as training dummies in a 4-0 win back in 2005.