Alternative FA Cup Preview: Anti-football wind, Mourinho's alternative facts and more

Jurgen Klopp to accuse the wind of being anti-football, again

The elements are conspiring against Liverpool this season. Jurgen Klopp’s side exited the League Cup during the week, with the German putting their defeat to Southampton down to the weather at Anfield. “The wind was really strange, it was difficult to handle,” he complained. “You saw one or two balls when the ball stopped in a moment when nobody knew about it. That was difficult for a football-playing side.”

The Reds host Wolves at Anfield this weekend, and the forecast is for strong winds. There’s nothing more anti-football than wind, Klopp will once again argue. Jose Mourinho with a lead to protect, five-man defences, Charlie Adam… nothing is as detrimental to attacking football as the swirling winds of Merseyside.

Millwall to find The Den surrounded by flats, a Homebase and a Carphone Warehouse

This weekend’s FA Cup tie against Watford will come as a sort of celebration for Millwall, just days after the threat of being evicted from The Den was effectively lifted. Lewisham Council are yet to formally abandon their compulsory order of land around the stadium, though, and so the bulldozers might move in while nobody’s watching.

Millwall’s fans will turn up to The Den on Sunday to find their ground hemmed in by blocks of new flats, a Homebase, a Carphone Warehouse and an ASDA Living. Thrown up overnight before anyone could object, supporters will have no choice but to accept their new surroundings. ASDA Living does some great deals on hanging ceiling lights, after all.

Jose Mourinho to cite alternative facts as Man Utd crash out the FA Cup

Manchester United’s 17-game unbeaten run came to an end on Thursday night as they were beaten by Hull City. Of course, the Old Trafford side still progressed to the final of the League Cup by virtue of their first leg win, but Jose Mourinho refused to accept that his team had been beaten. “We didn’t lose,” he insisted. “It was 1-1, 1-1. I only saw two goals. I saw [Paul] Pogba’s goal and their goal was fantastic goal, great action. Great cross, and the guy in far post coming, 1-1.”

So when Man Utd suffer a shock FA Cup exit to Wigan Athletic this weekend Mourinho will once again cite alternative facts. “I only saw our goal,” he’ll claim. “What other goals? We were playing another team? I didn’t see them. Only my team,” the Man Utd boss will insist with trademark stubbornness. “The crowd? There were 1.5 million fans watching. It was the biggest crowd ever, period.”

Oxford and Newcastle to share at least 16 goals between them

If it’s goals you’re in search of this weekend, head to the Kassam Stadium. Oxford United have scored 11 times in their last three FA Cup ties, with Newcastle United the Championship’s top scorers by quite some distance. Both sides also come into Saturday’s match on the back of 4-0 wins. We might have to count the goals like bank tellers count pennies – by the hundred.

They will surely break the FA Cup record of 15 goals in one game. They might as well move one of the goals to the halfway line, making the pitch half the size, embracing the inevitable basketball-style nature of his match-up. They could get rid of goalkeepers too. No offsides. Just don’t tell Marco van Basten.

Pep Guardiola to experiment against Palace, because what he was doing before was completely conventional

Word is that Pep Guardiola will use Saturday’s FA Cup game at Crystal Palace to experiment. Because what he was doing before, playing Pablo Zabaleta in central midfield and Kevin De Bruyne as a false nine, was completely conventional. If you thought that was experiment, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

Yaya Toure will be used as a right-back, with Gael Clichy playing as an inverted inside-out, outside-in winger. John Stones will be deployed as a sweeper behind Claudio Bravo, who will be used as an anchor in the middle of the pitch. And Sergio Aguero? He’ll be back on the bench. Because playing him in his usual position would be an experiment too far for Guardiola.