Advertisement

Arsene Wenger’s top 5 transfer targets for Arsenal

Arsene Wenger is under pressure, but he’s not going to give up. People in his same situation, of doing the same thing for 13 years with no visible sign of improvement, would either give up or try a new approach. Not Wenger - he’s going to do exactly the same as last season, only more so. But obviously, he knows that each season he needs to buy at least one player, even if that’s just a goalkeeper like Petr Cech. The new television deal, though, has made him see that he could recruit a handful of players this time as he tries one last tilt at the title, until the one after that. Here are his top five transfer targets.

Umberto Eco

Wenger believes that Eco offers the creativity that his midfield has been lacking. He acknowledges that Mesut Ozil has improved dramatically since his first, underwhelming season at the Emirates Stadium, but thinks that Eco’s experience would be an advantage next season. Having seen his Arsenal side fall apart under the pressure of the easiest league campaign in at least a decade, he is willing to bring more star players with a track record of achievements. As a novelist and essayist, and specifically not a footballer, Wenger admits that it is a risk to play him as a deep-lying footballer, but he has a track record of working under his own steam and not relying on others to do the heavy lifting for him. He has sent out scouts to Italy regularly to watch him perform, and though he died in January, Wenger expects him to be able to contribute more than both Jack Wilshere and Mathieu Flamini are capable of.

Daniel Sturridge

Sturridge would be open to a move because of his wish to play Champions League each year, and feels that he is now at a point in his career when he cannot take a full season out if his club underperforms. Though Jurgen Klopp has revitalised Liverpool a little, at least in their mood, there have been reports of tension between the two over Sturridge’s attitude to his own fitness, and his injury record. Wenger is confident that he would be able to assuage all of these doubts. Wenger would be able to point to his consistent track record of being able to finish fourth, almost always above Liverpool. But his most important offer to Sturridge would be that with Arsenal’s approach to fitness, and allowing two-week injuries heal over a process of at least six months, he would be one of the very fittest players at the club. Similarly, there would be no chance that he would ever be asked to raise his game to its fullest potential, as that’s not really what Arsenal is about.

Mathieu Flamini, Mikel Arteta, Tomas Rosicky

Flamini will continue to train with Arsenal over the summer as he maintains his fitness. From there he hopes to secure a contract with another Premier League club, but would then look for a move abroad if no transfer materialised. Arteta will take the summer off, allowing his decaying body to finally heal from the intensive training and rehab that he’s gone through in the last two seasons. Lastly, Rosicky will play himself into an apparent state of fitness over Euro 2016 with the Czech national team. As the three of them return to the Emirates to guide the young players and take part in training, there is a close to 0% chance that at least two of these players will not emerge from the summer with shiny new five-year contracts.

Gerard Pique

Pique has had a frustrating time of it at Barcelona this season. Yes, he has won the league, but he has spent more time complaining about everything being jolly unfair. He is absolutely cross that Real Madrid, a side that is in the Champions League final despite having to suffer Rafa Benitez for months, gets any kind of praise. He also follows up any complaint by wondering just what is about Barcelona that annoys everyone. Wenger has noted that Pique could be persuaded to leave the frustration of Spain and make a return to England, where he made his professional debut. He will explain that being so spectacularly self-righteous and self-assured, while being chippy about the achievements of rivals for the league and other trophies, would go down extremely well amongst the Arsenal support.

Jess Phillips MP

As one of New Labour’s most prominent self-basting politicians, she has been identified as a potential stalking horse candidate to oust Jeremy Corbyn from his position. However, because Corbyn enjoys legitimate and unimpeachable democratic support from the party, his rivals have taken to the dark outs. The cynical Andy Burnham is planning to jump ship to Manchester as mayor, and has already been parading his ignorance about the city. Phillips, though, is trying a different approach and has approached Wenger about joining Arsenal’s first-team squad, arguing there are ‘significant synergies’ between her politics and Arsenal’s attitudes. Wenger and Arsenal’s fans, for instance, celebrate their absence of financial doping, yet at the same time scalp a deprived borough for the most expensive season tickets, and do so while attempting to sign Luis Suarez, who racially abuses people. Phillips suggested that she too is a complete hypocrite, noting that she abstained in a parliamentary vote over benefit cuts, and then grandstanded to oppose piecemeal parts of it without acknowledging her own tacit complicity. Wenger is said to be intrigued by the similarities.