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Bargain basement namesake who has been spared a move to Queen's Celtic
WWJWD?
The global pandemic was always likely to make for a quiet January Transfer Deadline Day, not least because lockdown means the supporting cast of extras including such characters as Stoke roll-up man and the fabled Finch Farm fake purple willy-waver are confined to barracks and unable to wreak their unique brand of havoc on live television for the amusement of Sky Sports News viewers.
Related: Transfer deadline day, winter 2021: Liverpool in Ozan Kabak talks – live!
Covid has ensured that the current climate of financial uncertainty meant any high-profile mid-season splurges were always going to be unlikely, so it is no great surprise that the day’s biggest story so far concerns Liverpool buying a central defender named Ben Davies, who isn’t even the one at Spurs. Indeed, one suspects that even if it was that Ben Davies, rather than his bargain basement namesake from Preston North End who has been spared a mooted move to the Queen’s Celtic, even Jim White, Sky’s self-styled Mr Deadline Day, would feel more than a little underwhelmed. Still, Jim’s not on until later and the futures of such Premier League galácticos such as Hamza Choudhury, Matty Longstaff, Matt Ritchie, Joe Willock and Ainsley Maitland-Niles remain very much up in the air.
Perhaps aware that posting reporters at training grounds and stadiums the length and breadth of the country would not make for good “optics” at a time when the country is in lockdown and its citizens subject to severe travel restrictions, Sky have instead chosen to let most of their finest broadcast from home or various locations around the company citadel in Isleworth on the outskirts of London.
Similarly aware that the immediate future of Dele Alli might make for one of the day’s bigger stories, the executive decision was taken to send the intrepid Paul Gilmour to Tottenham’s training ground in Enfield to report any sightings of the out-of-favour midfielder looking pensive while carrying an expensive washbag.
It was a decision that ultimately backfired, what with their man with the microphone having spent all day standing in the cold repeatedly confirming that, despite widely reported interest from Paris Saint-Germain, the Tottenham midfielder is almost certainly going nowhere more exotic or interesting than straight home after training.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I’m very happy today. Things have changed a lot, I can’t exactly explain why – if it’s just me, or something else has changed. I have adapted. I feel calmer and I’m very happy here. I want to stay at PSG and I hope Kylian [Mbappé] will stay too … we have a relationship of brothers. We want PSG to be a great team and I want to continue doing what I’ve done every day in Paris – play football and be happy” – it turns out that suffering a last-gasp 3-2 Ligue Urrrrrn defeat by Lorient was all it needed to convince Neymar to stay at PSG.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Football Weekly is here for your listening pleasure, featuring Spurs being Spursy, nouveau Newcastle, plus an important chat about racism on social media.
FIVER LETTERS
“Re: mottos (Friday’s Fiver). Liverpool have spent actual effort coming up with ‘This Means More’, which not only sounds like an advert for an overpriced Christmas aftershave, or at best like David Mitchell spoofing Sky Sports, but appears to be an attempt to replace a perfectly good motto they already had. What are they on about? This means more overreactions to mildly humorous football emails? This means more insufferable bores in Hertfordshire pubs? This means more objectionable eight-year-olds rejecting their local team?” – Jon Millard.
“As a long-term Villa fan, I feel our slogan should be less a Cazoo and more that honking noise that a clown car makes before the wheels fall off” – Richard O’Hagan (and no other oddly disgruntled Villa fans).
“The Copa Libertadores final on Saturday – according to Friday’s Fiver another edition of the Clássico da Saudade – didn’t quite live up to expectations of previous meetings between Palmeiras and Santos. Is this proof that nostalgia was better in the olden days?” – Ed Taylor.
“On reflection and in retrospective, as a Tottenham fan, we need to come to terms with the fact that the best phase for us in recent months has no doubt been the March 2020 lockdown – what a fantastic break without having to watch them on TV!” – Marcio Aquino.
“If Steve Bruce is signing the letters (Friday’s Quote of the Day), doesn’t that mean he wrote them?” – Rick Smith (and others).
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day prize is … Jon Millard.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
The government has vowed to crack down on online racism levelled at footballers after the depressing number of incidents involving black players last week.
Barcelona have denied leaking details of Lionel Messi’s €555m four-year contract to El Mundo, who can expect a stiff knock on the door from the miffed one’s lawyer in the coming days.
José Mourinho got busy with his violin after Tottenham’s 1-0 defeat at Brighton. “We’re in a difficult moment with results, injuries and self-esteem,” he sobbed. “A team with confidence is much better than a team with sadness.”
Glenn Murray will hope to plunder some goals with his ancient limbs at Nottingham Forest after signing a permanent deal to play under his old pal Chris Hughton.
Why would Man City sign Jadon Sancho for £100m+ when there’s an 18-year-old down the road at Rochdale they could nab for free at the end of the season? (Spoiler alert: Kwadwo Baah is quite good).
Ole Gunnar Solskjær with some perfectly normal behaviour, several days after his side deserved nothing out of the game against a team at the bottom of the table.
Carlo Ancelotti has made space in Everton’s cramped changing rooms by sending Cenk Tosun back on loan to Besiktas.
And Watford have done their best to unite two sides of the north London derby divide by signing Mitchel Bergkamp, son of Dennis, and Maurizio Pochettino, son of Mauricio, in a deadline-day double swoop that will lead to some decent traffic on the internet, if nothing else.
STILL WANT MORE?
Marcus Rashford leads the way in the fight to tackle the pernicious effects of racism, writes Paul MacInnes.
Adam White and Eric Devin on Ligue 1 as violent Marseille ultras bring more shame upon French football.
Ten talking points from the weekend’s Premier League action. Get them while they’re still hot(ish). And here’s Rachel Brown-Finnis with a review of the the latest round of games in the WSL.
“The soundtrack to modern Liverpool is a constant Wearside bark”: Jonathan Wilson on why Jordan Henderson’s non-stop chat is essential if the champions are to keep up their revival.
Mattia Destro is banging them in for Genoa and could be the Toto Schillaci of his time, reports Nicky Bandini.
Andy Brassell on the situation at Stuttgart, featuring Thomas Hitzlsperger and former Arsenal transfer guru Sven Mislintat.
Manchester United’s big blanks reflect the lack of heat without crowds, reckons Barney Ronay.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
