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BLUFFER’S GUIDE TO THE WEEKEND - Famous Belgians, a fox in the box, and Lewis on leave

Bluffer gives us the essential information to take into the sporting weekend, including the Davis Cup Final, Famous Belgians, the Premier League and Abu Dhabi Grand Prix.

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The topic of Famous Belgians is always fruitful ground for the bluffer and the subset of Famous Sporting Belgians is as challenging as any.

Once you have allowed your pals the Obvious Exception – Eddy Merckx, five times winner of the Tour de France in an era when men were men and doping was something you did to the wings of biplanes, and also the current No 1 in all categories at FamousBelgians.net – you can enjoy their struggles to come up with any other famous sporting Belgians at all.

Give them a hint: that the Belgian city of Ghent is this weekend the venue for the Davis Cup Final, in which the host nation takes on Great Britain, and they might come up with two famous Belgian tennis players.

Justine Henin and Kim Clijsters are both fairly recently resident at the top of the world rankings but ineligible to play in the Davis Cup because they are (a) retired and (b) female.

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The little-celebrated Belgians who stand in the way of Andy and Jamie Murray and Team GB are David Goffin (world-ranked 16) and Ruben Bemelmans (world-ranked 108).

The bluffer will know that the format of the Davis Cup four singles matches and one doubles means that the Murray brothers can secure the Cup by their efforts alone if Andy wins both of his singles and combines fruitfully with Jamie in the doubles.

Further bluff points can be secured by naming the Brit who has been chosen to back up the Scottish brothers: that is Kyle Edmund, currently ranked a memorable No 100.

The form book suggests that the boys from Dunblane should secure the trophy, in which case bluffers may like to equip themselves with the relevant history: this would be the tenth time that a British team has won the Davis Cup, but also the first win since 1936 – and spare a plaudit too for the GB team captain.

Britain were playing Turkey in Eastbourne to avoid relegation to the fourth tier of the Davis Cup when Leon Smith took over as captain in 2010. They have come a long way – as far as Ghent, at least.

The top-of-the-table clash in the Premier League this weekend has a slightly surreal look to it for any but the most devoted Leicester City fan – and yet they sit on top of the pile as they welcome Manchester United, in second place, to the King Power Stadium on Saturday evening.

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Leicester striker Jamie Vardy will of course be hoping not only to prolong his team’s tenure at the top but also to beat the record of United legend Ruud van Nistelrooy by scoring in 11 consecutive Premier League games.

The statistics on this particular story are familiar, but bluffers can put a twist on them by pointing out that Louis van Gaal’s side can sabotage Vardy’s ambitions if only they can find a way of keeping him out of their penalty area.

This is because the lightning-fast Leicester man is a true fox in the box – every one of his ten goals in ten PL games has come from inside the area, where his lethal shot-to-goal ratio (better than Cristiano Ronaldo’s) has been decisive.

So all that United’s defensive midfielders (in all likelihood the poetic pairing of Schneiderlin and Schweinsteiger) need to do is nail Vardy to the turf in the centre circle and van Nistelrooy’s record will remain shared rather than broken.

Sunday’s key battle in the Premier League pitches Spurs against Chelsea at White Hart Lane, with the visiting fans no doubt hoping that last week’s win at Norwich City heralds a prolonged return to form.

Tottenham-fancying bluffers still have a tremendous opportunity to lord it over their west London visitors though, most notably perhaps in the area of in-form and out-of-form strikers.

Spurs’ Harry Kane has thrown off his indifferent start to the season to whack home eight goals in his last seven outings, while Chelsea’s Diego Costa’s total for the entire season so far stands at three.

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The disparity is further evident, the north London bluffer will delightedly point out, when the two strikers’ total of shots and shooting accuracy are compared: Kane has rained down 37 attempts on opposing netminders, 62 per cent of them on target, while Costa has let fly only 17 times with barely more than half (52 per cent) heading in the right direction. New SatNav, Diego?

The Formula One circus unpacks in the otherworldly environs of Abu Dhabi where few bluffworthy issues remain to be decided – except perhaps which colour the futuristic hotel beside the track will pulsate with as the cars leave the grid.

On the track, Nico Rosberg will be seeking his sixth successive pole position and third straight victory, while fans will be wondering if Lewis Hamilton has already (mentally) knocked off for the year.

Instead of dwelling on this, bluffers might like to return to the topic of Famous Belgians, and suggest the Most Significant Sporting Belgian of all – not Merckx, Goffin, Henin or Clijsters, but the minor footballer Jean-Marc Bosman, whose judicial challenge to the football transfer rules did more to change the nature of the modern game than any other single individual.