LONDON (Reuters) - England batsman Jonathan Trott said mental "burnout" was behind his sudden withdrawal from England's Ashes tour of Australia and he is now eager to resume his international career.
Trott left the tour after England were thrashed in the first test in November with what was reported to be a "stress-related" illness, but the South Africa-born 32-year-old has refuted suggestions he was suffering with depression.
"People come up to you and say, 'it's good to see you're out and about' and I'm like, 'I'm not crazy I was just burnt out!'," Trott said in an interview to be aired by Sky Sports on Sunday.
Trott's second-innings dismissal by Mitchell Johnson at the Gabba was described by Australian batsman David Warner as "weak", prompting then England coach Andy Flower to accuse the hosts of being disrespectful to the ailing batsman.
"It's pretty difficult to put into words the emotions to walk away from an Ashes tour - it's something I never thought I'd have to do and something I hope no cricketer has to do again," Trott said.
"It was the right decision no doubt, it was something that came about through no one else's fault other than the situation I found myself in wanting to do so well for England.
"I don't think there's anything else the ECB or the guys on tour could have done differently. I tried my hardest and ended up finding out myself I had nothing left to give.
"It was very difficult for me to operate close to 100 percent or even 50 percent of what I was capable of.
"I remember day two or day three, it was a bit of a blur, I was getting headaches and all sorts of things and I wasn't eating properly towards the end and that's when the sleep started getting disruptive and emotionally that was probably when I was worst and it just boiled over.
"I had nothing left in the tank or the battery - mentally and emotionally pretty drained and had nothing left to give really."
Trott said he had felt guilty leaving his team mates to toil away for the rest of the series they lost 5-0.
"I'd experienced a lot of success with England and a lot of good times and not many bad times and seeing the guys struggling out there was pretty tough in that I should have been there going through the tough times," he said.
Trott is now looking forward to the start of the English domestic season with county side Warwickshire and is targeting a return to the international stage against Sri Lanka.
"I think as long as I'm feeling OK with myself and where my game's at I think playing international cricket is fine, it's not that much different," Trott said.
"There's obviously the scrutiny and everything but it's how I feel about my own game and how I feel going forward."
(Reporting by Martyn Herman, editing by Ed Osmond)