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Dad text his partner 'please come save me' but it was too late

A dad who was described as "the life and soul of the party" died after sending a heartbreaking text to his partner.

Kevin Sholicar from Ormskirk, tragically took his own life on Saturday, April 27, leaving behind his parents, two younger brothers, two half sisters, his partner of 18 years and their two daughters, aged 10 and 14. Kevin, who had taken his two daughters on holiday in the weeks running up to his death, had battled with mental health for much of his adult life, according to his dad.

On April 27, Kev's partner received a heart-stopping text from her children's dad that read 'please come save me.' Kevin's dad, John Sholicar, said that Kev's partner called the emergency services and performed CPR shortly after arriving at the home where he was staying.

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John, 57, said: "We thought it was a cry for help that went wrong, because he sent a text saying 'please come and save me' to his partner, and he left the door open for her."

John with Kevin having a "father and son moment"
John with Kevin having a "father and son moment" -Credit:John Sholicar

His dad has paid an emotional tribute to his much-loved son, he said: "I'm watching videos of him and I am laughing and crying because there are videos of him laughing and joking about. He laughed and joked with everyone, he loved everyone.

"He was always the life and soul of party, he was such a great friend, I have videos of him joking around in the [work] van with his best friend, Andy. He was always looking after his nan, he would do anything for anyone and loved his girls [his two daughters]. He was so well liked, liked and well respected, he always had a smile and a laugh.

"It was just earlier [today] that I came back from walking our dogs - I've inherited his German Shepard - and my wife was in tears because Jamie Webster was on the radio, he loved his songs. He would always be singing it and you can just picture him singing along to it. And Mardy Bum by the Artic Monkeys - he loved music.

"He loved Phil Collins too, I remember getting a text from him once saying 'I love him because of you. I'm only half the man I am because of you, you are my hero dad.' He was an absolute character and he was loved by everyone. I remember when he danced at the girls' dance school exhibition one year, it was the dads as the men in black and he pulled out his signature move, the worm, at the end, he always wanted to make people laugh."

John hopes his son's story can raise awareness of men's mental health, he is urging people to speak up if they are struggling even if they think they are doing better. He said: "What happened when Kev took his life was a a cry for help. His partner was there within fifteen minutes of the text being sent. It was very traumatic.

"I want to create awareness of men's mental health, if this could happen to a young 35-year-old man. Kev had been on his way up, he had been working, so it actually came from nowhere that he did take his own life.

"He had been on a holiday with the kids recently - he took the girls on holiday where they had swam with dolphins, were riding go karts, that was only a few weeks ago. He had been through a bad patch but it was looking like we were on the way up. It was like something switched in his brain. He had everything to live for, two girls, 14 and 10, things were looking alright.

"I want to encourage people to talk if they are struggling. You might have some problems and you might think you are alright, then something switches in your brain. There was one switch in his head for a split moment where he wasn't thinking about all the people that he was going to hurt and that loved him.

"Mental health can just take over when you think you are past the worst. It doesn't take much for it to come back and get you. Even if you think you are back on the right track, you should carry on getting support. I'm wearing his band at the moment that says 'it's OK to talk.'"

John says his son's legacy has been able to live on due to the fact he was an organ donor - his organs have gone on to help lots of other people. He said: "Kev was an organ donor, he has helped so many people. We want to raise awareness for people to be an organ donor - just one eye can go on to help four people - organs can give so many people a better way of life. And, now he has gone on to help so many people.

Kevin being his smiley and happy self, which he was known for
Kevin being his smiley and happy self, which he was known for -Credit:John Sholicar

"It reassure us a lot knowing that he has helped so many people. It's a legacy, that is his legacy. And, this is the kind of person he was, he would help everyone. He was an amazing son. And now he is living in others.

"It's such a thoughtful process for everyone involved, even to the family. You get messages from someone who's life you have saved which is lovely."

Kevin's best friend, Andy Noone, has set up a GoFundMe page on behalf of the family, all the money raised will be put towards helping his two daughters in the future and a donation will be made to helping men's mental health charities. You can donate to the fundraiser here.

Mental health support

Helplines and support groups

The following are helplines and support networks for people to talk to, mostly listed on the NHS Choices website

  • Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you're feeling, or if you're worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.

  • CALM Campaign Against Living Miserably (0800 58 58 58) is a leading movement against suicide. It runs a UK helpline and webchat from 5pm to midnight 365 days a year for anyone who has hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support.

  • PANDAS (0808 1961 776) runs a free helpline and offers a support service for people who may be suffering with perinatal mental illness, including prenatal (antenatal) and postnatal depression plus support for their family or network.

  • Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won't show up on your phone bill.

  • PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is an organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.

  • Mind (0300 123 3393) is a charity providing advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. They campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding.

  • Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.

  • Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.

  • Amparo provides emotional and practical support for anyone who has been affected by a suicide. This includes dealing with police and coroners; helping with media enquiries; preparing for and attending an inquest and helping to access other, appropriate, local support services. Call 0330 088 9255 or visit www.amparo.org.uk for more details.

  • Hub of Hope is the UK’s most comprehensive national mental health support database. Download the free app, visit hubofhope.co.uk or text SHOUT to 85258 to find relevant services near you.

  • Young Persons Advisory Service – Providing mental health and emotional wellbeing services for Liverpool’s children, young people and families. tel: 0151 707 1025 email: support@ypas.org.uk

  • Paul's Place - providing free counselling and group sessions to anyone living in Merseyside who has lost a family member or friend to suicide. Tel: 0151 226 0696 or email: paulsplace@beaconcounsellingtrust.co.uk

  • The Martin Gallier Project - offering face to face support for individuals considering suicide and their families. Opening hours 9.30-16.30, 7 days a week. Tel: 0151 644 0294 email: triage@gallierhouse.co.uk

  • James' Place - supports men over 18 who are experiencing a suicidal crisis by providing quick access to therapy and support. Call 0151 303 5757 from Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 5.30pm or visit https://www.jamesplace.org.uk/

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